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“You know when you suggested this - I didn’t think you were actually serious about it.” Bene groans, gaze flickering around the flat as he watches Mats rush around, face contorted into a look of concentration and confusion. “Your phone is on the table, by the way - I just don’t see why you want to drive six hours to watch them when you’re just going to be in a mood for the entire night.”
“I’m not going to be in a mood.” Mats dismisses as he swipes his phone up from the table and pockets it, grabbing his coat from the back of the couch.
“I mentioned the national team this morning and you glared so hard at the wall that I thought you were going to burn a hole through it.” Bene reminds him, raising his eyebrows as he sends his husband a smirk.
Mats rolls his eyes but doesn’t retaliate; he just shrugs his coat on and sighs, fixing the collar and coming to stand in front of Bene, hands resting on his husband's shoulders.
“They’re my friends and I want to see them-”
“- Lose?” Bene finishes for him.
Mats doesn’t answer but a smirk begins to twitch at the corners of his lips. “Let’s just go.” Mats changes the subject swiftly before leaning down to steal a kiss.
Bene whines when Mats moves back to reach for his keys, curling his hands more into Mats’ coat to try and pull him back. “I remember when I couldn’t get you to leave bed when we spent time together.” Bene grumbles, finally giving up when his hand falls free of the material and back to his side. “Hey, have you talked to Thomas since uh - Monday?” Bene asks once they reach the car downstairs.
Mats shrugs non-committedly but something flashes across his face and disappears almost immediately. “I talked to him in training, same old.” Mats answers before unlocking the car and hesitating before getting in. “Why?”
Bene shakes his head, dropping his gaze for a second. “Nothing. Give me the keys, you’re not driving.”
“I’m the better driver!” Mats gasps, outraged - but that only earns a raised eyebrow from Bene who isn’t falling for it, not after what happened last time. “Yeah, okay.” Mats relents and tosses the keys over the top of the car before swapping sides.
Bene is quiet from the second he turns the key in the ignition and starts driving and it unnerves Mats in the worst way possible - for a split second, he thinks back to this morning and wonders what he might have done wrong but nothing immediately comes to mind and it’s only when his husband lets a soft, dejected sigh.
“Spill it.” Mats pushes, glancing over at Bene once and it only takes a second to notice the tight grip that he has on the steering wheel. “Benni.”
“They’re not us.”
Ominous. That’s Mats’ first thought, so he frowns and waits for an elaboration that doesn’t immediately come. Bene just keeps staring straight ahead, this time with the beginning of a frown covering his lips.
“They’re attached by the hip all the time. I can’t remember the last time they willingly spent time apart and even if they do - they’re talking to each other whenever they can. I’m just - I’m just saying - forget it.” Bene cuts himself off sharply with a fractional shake of his head.
“Hey.” Mats grumbles. “You always tell me not to do that; whatever you want to tell me, tell me.” Mats pushes, not wanting to give this one up.
Out of the corner of his eye; Bene watches the concentrated expression on his husband's face and sighs. “Fine.” He grits out, knowing full well that he’s unable to argue with Mats using his own words against him - he thinks he preferred it when Mats didn’t listen to a word he said. “This is different than when one of them is injured because they know that they’ll probably be back together by the time the next one comes around but this is the first time since Jogi screwed the lot of you over.” Bene bites, visibly tensing up at the mention of his former coach. “I already know Manu’s feeling off his game - how was Thomas? Really.”
Mats sighs, lifting a hand to brush through his hair; Munich falling to a blurry mess of roads, building and trees out of his line of sight as he remembers his initial thoughts when he saw Thomas yesterday - the guy looked like he had gotten a solid hour of sleep - so had Mats but for completely different and welcomed reasons.
“I suppose-” Mats heaves another sigh. “- He didn’t look great, tired, he wasn’t as jokey as he usually is. Ah, fuck, he misses him.”
Bene just raises his eyebrows as the realisation dawns on Mats.
“That has to explain the weird fucking text I got from him this morning, when you were asleep - so like, midday?” Mats teases and accepts the retaliating slap he gets from Bene without much of a complaint. “No, but, I think it was at like six thirty - it didn’t make much sense, I really don’t think he’s slept.”
“Now do you see my point? We’re used to this-”
“- Don’t remind me.” Mats huffs and Bene’s face softens as he drops one hand from the steering wheel to grab hold of Mats’.
“- Like I was saying, this is bound to be tough for both of them. I mean, come on, I know for a fact you’re still mad over what happened - which by the way, really doesn’t answer my first question about why we’re going tonight.”
Mats shrugs but doesn’t disagree. “I told you why, I want to see my friends, I want to watch the game and if they lose, well, that’s just an extra.” Mats’ lips twitch upwards towards an almost smug smirk as he winks across at Bene. “Oh, don’t, you’re worse than me.”
“Oh, honey.” Bene shakes his head. “Nobody is worse than you.”
Mats sulks. Bene grins.
***
“I hate driving.” Bene groans when they finally reach Wolfsburg. “I also hate you.” Bene adds, a lot quieter mind you when he glances over to find Mats slumped in the passenger seat, asleep. “I can’t believe you only managed to stay awake for an hour and a half, old man.”
“I can hear you.” Mats suddenly speaks up. “You’re also older than me, so, shut up.”
“Two questions; how long have you been awake? And, have you been ignoring me?” Bene asks as he takes the next left.
“Twenty minutes and - uh - pretty much but I wasn’t explicitly ignoring you.” Mats replies, focusing on looking out of the window and trying to orientate himself - it was daytime the last time he was awake and now it’s almost dark. “I was thinking about what you said, about Mull, I mean.”
“What about him?”
“He’s here.” Mats interjects, ignoring Bene’s question and glancing down at his phone, the text at the top of his notifications. “He got here this morning.”
“I’m not surprised. I told you they were attached at the hip and it’s probably better for both of them.” Bene shrugs, feeling a little relieved that Thomas is here - he hasn’t been actively worrying about both of his friends during the drive when Mats slept and left him alone with his thoughts but he couldn’t help but feel a little worried about how Manu would perform and Thomas would be dealing with it.
“Has he seen him today?” Bene asks as he parks the car in the first space he finds. He’s sick of being inside the damn car.
“Who?”
“Thomas. Has Thomas seen Manu today? Dumbass.” Bene grumbles as he kills the engine and turns to face his own husband.
“You’re in love with this dumbass” Mats reminds him before texting something and sending it.
“You just agreed to being a dumbass. God, you are still tired.” Bene smirks, raising his eyebrows as the actual meaning behind his words hits Mats and causes him to falter momentarily.
“No, he hasn’t seen him today but he called him and told him he was at the game and yeah, Manu instantly sounded a lot brighter.” Mats reads the reply off his phone. “Thank god.” He breathes out. “Also,” Mats leans in close so that he’s inches away from Bene’s face. “I didn’t hear you complaining last night.” Mats murmurs before kissing him, feeling so fucking grateful that he can. “I love you.”
“I’m starting to reconsider.”
“You can’t. It’s been ten years. You’re stuck with me now.” Mats grins smugly at him.
Bene raises his eyebrows. “It hasn’t been ten years and if you don’t shut up - it won’t be ten years.”
“You’re so cute when you’re threatening me.” Mats laughs leaning in once more.
“Oh, fuck off, let’s just go and find Thomas.” Bene shoos him away before clambering out of the car, rolling his eyes.
The thing is. They have stopped caring, they stopped caring a long time ago so when Mats throws his arm around Bene’s shoulders during the short walk to the stadium - Bene doesn’t find it in him to shrug it off and glare at Mats until they just walk side by side looking tense. It’s still not as obvious as either of them wish it could be but with Bene practically falling off the radar - it’s easier, though, the circumstances aren’t pleasant. Bene has to stop himself leaning into Mats, curling his arm around his husband's waist and relishing in how Mats is essentially a walking radiator at times.
“It’s going to be weird to see someone else with that number five jersey.” Mats mumbles, voice barely audible above the sound of the crowd and the excited chatter and chanting from the fans gathering outside the stadium.
“I know, honey.” Bene soothes, glancing up at Mats if only for a second.
The stadium is buzzing with twenty minutes until kickoff and after a swift convincing on Mats’ part - they enter the stadium and climb the stairs until they spot a familiar figure standing on a practically empty row of seats frowning down at his phone.
“Well, well, well, isn’t this a surprise?” Mats calls out as he walks down the row and slaps Thomas on the shoulder, the phone nearly flying out of the younger’s hand in the process.
“Asshole.”
“Hello to you too, Mull.” Mats grins before pulling his best friend into a short hug.
Thomas pockets his phone before he notices Bene and pushes past Mats - the latter looking seven kinds of offended at Thomas abandoning him immediately for his husband- until he notices that Thomas looks brighter at the sight of the missing member of their former quartet. Something nostalgic hits them in that moment and despite the fact that their final member is currently twenty five metres away and being put through his paces - it feels strangely comforting.
Despite listening to Bene talk about Russia; Thomas can’t help himself from stealing glances down to pitch and feeling an immense sense of pride rushing through his veins when he catches sight of the man he loves. Well, until Mats bumps into him trying to get past, muttering something incoherent but before either of them can ask - Mats is all but out of sight.
Bene watches Thomas carefully; his smile fading once Mats is out of sight and he heaves a sigh.
“You good?” Bene asks, sliding up closer so that he’s leaning against the back of the seat beside Thomas.
Thomas hums non-committedly but Bene sees through it immediately and nudges Thomas’ shoulder.
“It’s hard.” Thomas admits with a wry smile. “I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, Manu - we - we didn’t really sleep the night before he left. I didn’t want to let him go, you know?” Thomas laughs despite himself. “It sounds stupid-”
“- It doesn’t.” Bene dismisses.
“I’ve felt lost since he left, I swear, it feels like I’ve lost a limb.” Thomas explains, gesticulating wildly to try and prove his point - a point that Bene knows far too well. “I just had to be here tonight. You should have heard Manu when I told him I was here - he sounded so happy.”
Bene smiles, glancing down to the pitch to where the teams are finishing up their warm-ups. He can just about make out Manu’s silhouette from the corner of his eye.
“I think you both need this.” Bene sounds so sure of himself that Thomas finds himself staring at him in slight wonder. “I’m serious. This is a harder adjustment for both of you than I think you realise - it was the same with Mats and myself.” Bene shrugs nonchalantly, swallowing down the biting remark on the tip of his tongue. “No offence, Mull, but you guys are attached by the hip most of the time-”
Thomas laughs and nods in agreement, unable to argue with that comment.
“Was it so bad with you and Mats?” Thomas asks, forcing himself to not look down at the pitch again. “When you realised that your place was-”
“- Gone?” Bene finishes, pursing his lips as he thinks about it. “Not at first, at first I think we were both living in denial but once it became clear that my career was over - Mats found it harder than me.”
Thomas watches him expectantly.
“At that time he was still playing, he felt like he was lost during the international break because, what? We’ve been playing together since we were both kids - we’ve grown up together and played together through it all and well, having it one international break and not for the ones after. It’s a shock to the system.” Bene tries to explain, his own feelings resurfacing and a hundred memories flashing through his head as he thinks about it. “You don’t have to pretend as though it’s easy.”
“Good. Because it’s fucking not.” Thomas laughs bitterly, his voice wavering as he throws his head back.
Bene schools his expression, he’s not surprised in the slightest but seeing Thomas let his feelings show however slight it might be, it still brings up unwanted memories.
“You didn’t tell him.” Bene’s voice cuts through the sound of the announcer at the stadium. It’s not a question and Thomas knows exactly what Bene is referring to.
“He wouldn’t have left if I did.” Thomas says. “I know that, you know that, hell, everybody probably knows it. He didn’t want to go without me anyway, if he knew I was reluctant to let him leave - he would’ve come up with an excuse.”
Bene finds himself agreeing. It sounds like Manu.
“Does he still feel guilty?” Bene asks, watching the teams walk off down to the tunnel.
“How did you know about that?” Thomas asks, eyeing Bene carefully. “Did Mats tell you about it?”
“Please .” Bene scoffs. “I was the one who told Mats that.”
Thomas doesn’t even try to stifle his laughter; thinking back, he did wonder how Mats had managed to figure it out so quickly.
Bene waits until Thomas shoves his hands in his coat pockets and turns back to face him.
“He does. No matter how many times I try and reassure him that he shouldn’t and that it wasn’t his decision. He just doesn’t or doesn’t want to accept it.” Thomas admits. “I’m running out of ways to try and convince him otherwise.”
“I don’t think you can.” Bene winces. “He’s got that idea in his head, you know him, he’s not going to just magically accept it. Reassuring him can only work so much but in the end - he’s always going to be convinced that he should’ve changed Jogi’s mind.”
Thomas cracks a smile at that. “He’s stubborn.”
Bene nods, unable to stop himself from smiling too. “Always has been.”
“I’m worried about him, not overly or anything but - fuck - you should have heard him on the phone last night, he sounded-”
“- Lost?” Bene suggests. “Yeah, I know. He’s not that great at hiding how he truly feels in his voice. He can put up whatever facade he wants but his voice is the biggest giveaway.”
Thomas tries to hide his surprise until he remembers that Bene was friends with Manu long before they even knew each other and Thomas doesn’t need to explain Manu’s actions.
“He sounded so tired.” Thomas mumbles. “I hated it. As soon as I heard how bad he sounded - I just knew I had to come out for the game.”
Bene nods but doesn’t interrupt.
“I know I probably sound ridiculous, that I can’t be away from him for more than a few days-”
“- Don’t do that.” Bene interjects. “You can’t honestly be saying that you’re ridiculous for missing him? Of course you miss him, it’s a basic human feeling, Thomas!”
“Do you miss Mats?”
Bene wants to laugh at the absurdity of the question but he just smiles instead, shaking his head. “Every day. Every time I leave him or he leaves. It never goes away. It’s no different from you missing Manu.”
“So… you’re saying?”
Bene exhales and thinks of a way to rephrase his words in a way that won’t confuse Thomas further.
“Okay, try it this way, most of the time when it comes to you leaving for camps, Champions League games, tournaments, Manu was with you, right?” Bene starts, watching Thomas to see if he’s following. “But this is something that’s switched up what has been completely normal for the pair of you over the years, it’s disrupted your routine and it’s confusing because you’re so used to doing the international break together that now - it feels like your sense of normalcy has shifted. That in itself is normal, it’s going to take some getting used to; you can’t expect it to just feel right straight away. God, I seriously wonder whether this will ever feel right.”
Thomas nods, the words sinking in slowly, Bene makes sense - not that he should be surprised. There isn’t anybody that Thomas thinks could put this into a better perspective; Bene’s been through it and knows better than him at the moment what it’s like to not only deal with your other half playing for the national team whilst you’re not but also, dealing with distance between them. It causes Thomas to frown, fuck.
“How do you two do it?” Thomas asks, abruptly, standing up straight and watching the taken aback expression on Bene’s face as the confusion settles in. “Seriously, how?”
Bene knits his eyebrows together before relaxing once he realises what Thomas is hinting at, not so subtly mind you.
“Ah,” Bene laughs nervously. “If you think we have found a shortcut or the easy way to deal with the distance - we haven’t. Fuck, no. We’re stumbling through it at the moment but I don’t want to say you have to but you do. I mean-” Bene snorts. “Relationships aren’t easy at the best of times but they’re so much harder with distance involved. Let me be honest; I’m pretty sure everybody thinks we’re doing well with the distance but we argue a lot more, Mats becomes awkwardly stubborn about things and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m losing my temper a lot more. It’s not romantic in the slightest but you just need to fight through it and remember this isn’t a permanent deal and some days, that’s what you need to hold onto.” Bene rambles until he realises that Thomas is staring at him with slightly widened eyes, it would be comical except it isn’t. “Sorry, that was probably a little more than you expected.”
“No, no, I’m glad you didn’t hold back. You’ve been keeping that hidden for a while, huh?” Thomas wonders watching as Bene’s face contorts into an expression of resignation.
"Too long.” Bene puffs out. “I won’t even tell Mats half of this, you know him, he’ll just close in and ignore it until it goes away.”
“So, it’s shit?”
Bene laughs at that, unable to deny it. “It’s shit.” He confirms.
Thomas looks around, the stadium filling up as the game nears kick off.
“So, what are the odds on Mats being lost?” Thomas asks as he raises his eyebrows at Bene.
“Not very high, trust me.” Bene jokes.
***
Mats isn’t lost.
He isn’t. It’s just that all stands are looking the same and he’s pretty sure he’s passed the same couple three times now whilst trying to catch sight of Thomas and Bene.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, Mats walks up the stairs again whilst looking around and trying to recognise anything until something catches in his peripheral vision that causes him to come to an abrupt halt, nearly slipping on the step. Mats barely registers the fact that both teams are on the pitch and the national anthems are about to start because he can’t stop staring at the stand to his right.
It stands out underneath the floodlights and Mats’ next breath catches in his throat as he glances over at the black danke amongst white, the five, the thirteen, the seventeen. He can’t stop staring at the choreo before his eyes and feels a swelling sense of pride in his chest. There’s a boy around seven or eight looking at him with amazement in his eyes but Mats can’t tear his eyes away from the stand long enough to notice.
He runs, skips up two steps at a time until he finds the two of them, still engaging in conversation. Mats makes his way down the row until he’s standing behind Bene, only aware now that his vision is a lot blurrier than it had been.
“I’m guessing you haven’t noticed?” Mats asks, punching Thomas’ shoulder lightly and nodding towards the stand to his now left.
Both Bene and Thomas’ attention snaps towards the direction Mats is gesturing and their expressions soften when they catch sight. Bene smiling as he leans back against Mats, the anthems play out but they aren’t paying attention. Thomas is staring at the choreo in disbelief, blinking rapidly, it’s real.
“Oh, oh.” Thomas chuckles softly, his gaze flickering over every piece of it. Eyes fixated on the thirteen in the middle, his name above it.
“Guess we made a lasting impression after all.” Mats jokes, leaning against Bene.
“Yeah.” Thomas manages to choke out. “Jesus Christ. It’s cool.”
They only manage to tear their gaze away from it when the whistle blows and the game kicks off. Dropping down into their seats; Thomas turns to Mats.
“What the hell took you so long? Did you get lost?” He asks.
Mats scoffs. “I didn’t get lost.”
“Why did you take so long then?” Thomas pushes, turning to Bene and smirking before refocusing his attention on Mats.
“I was just walking around-”
“- Aimlessly?” Thomas finishes for him earning himself a scowl in response from Mats. “Oh come on, you’ve been missing for twenty minutes.”
“Honey, he’s right. We were about to send a search party out for you.” Bene shrugs, siding with Thomas and causing Mats to scowl and roll his eyes. “Oh, stop, it wouldn’t be the first time - hey, did Mats ever tell you about the time he got lost trying to find me after a Revierderby-”
“Benni.” Mats warns.
Bene turns to Mats and smiles sweetly before turning back to Thomas. “He got locked in a closet for thirty minutes and they had the stewards and even the police inside looking for him - thinking a fan had got down and done something and when they opened the closet door - Mats fell out and smacked his head against the floor, knocking himself out-”
“- Wait!” Thomas interjects with an ever-growing grin. “Is that when you ended up with that mysterious head injury and had to have four stitches just above your eyebrow? The injury that you later blamed on a training ground incident with Marco?!” Thomas cackles, throwing his head back as he remembers the blow-up on the training ground with the national team a few weeks later. “Nobody believed Marco when he denied it but he was right!” Thomas is gleeful at this new piece of blackmail - information, not blackmail, but definitely blackmail. “You dumbass.”
Mats scowls. “I hate the both of you.”
Bene and Thomas lean towards each other and laugh at Mats’ expense; Mats’ scowl only deepening as he focuses on the match playing out before his eyes.
“You guys are the fucking worst.” Mats huffs as he kicks his feet up on the back of the empty seat in front.
“Oh, shush.” Bene admonishes mildly, leaning back over and angling his body against his husband, resting his hand on Mats’ thigh and turning his attention to the game. “What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t sell you out to your best friend. You should hear the stuff Mull has told me about you.” Bene grins as he drops his head to Mats’ shoulder.
“You didn’t-” Mats starts to accuse.
Thomas smirks. “Want to bet on that?”
Mats groans and throws his head back, Thomas’ cackle rings in his ears and Mats resists the urge to lean over and slap him on the upside of the head for it.
The conversation dies down after that except for commenting on the game and Bene can feel Mats visibly tense up every time the ball falls to the feet of Jonathan Tah. Bene tries not to focus too obviously on Mats but he can feel it and it tears at his heart.
“Honey?” Bene murmurs, barely audible above the noise of the crowd.
“I’m fine.” Mats replies shortly but covers Bene’s hand with his own nevertheless. “It’s just… weird. I knew it was going to be strange to see it but yeah.” Mats breathes out and glances to the side, expression softening when he notices the concern on his husband's face. “It’s just going to take some getting used to.”
“I’m guessing that it’s starting to sink in now?” Bene tests, not wanting to delve into a conversation like this right now but also needing to know.
“I think so.” Mats sighs, “I should have known as soon as someone else got my - the number that it was going to feel a lot more real.”
Bene twists his hand so that he can hold Mats’ hand between the seats and out of sight of anybody and any cameras. Bene slowly brushes the pad of his thumb over Mats’ knuckles and just about resists the urge to pull Mats into a hug and just hold him as he had back in Moscow when Mats turned up after the news broke.
“Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me?!” Thomas exclaims from beside them and when both Mats and Bene’s eyes snap towards the pitch-
The Serbian players are celebrating.
“Can’t he catch a break?” Thomas mumbles, sliding back down in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest as his gaze remains solely focused on Manu as the screen above shows a replay of the goal. “Just give him a fucking break.” Thomas continues to mutter, looking crestfallen.
The goal came from a corner over the far side and Luka Jović couldn’t really miss the goal from close range with the header. Both Mats and Bene grimace when the replay shows Manu’s reaction to the goal before glancing over at Thomas but he’s too busy intensely staring down at the pitch with an odd mixture of sorrow and anger covering his face.
“I would’ve cleared that ball.” Mats sulks as the teams regroup for the restart. “Do we even have a defence?” He asks precisely three seconds later. “You’re telling me that he really expects us - them - to win something with a team who don’t look capable of stringing three passes together?”
Bene squeezes his hand. “I know, honey.”
Bene pretends not to have noticed the way Mats immediately backtracked on referring to the team as ‘us’. It would be no use pointing it out considering Mats’ grip on Bene’s hand keeps tightening and it’s not because Germany are a goal down in a meaningless friendly game.
“How he managed to keep his job after the World Cup, I’d love to know.” Mats huffs as he glares down towards the touchline, and if looks could kill…
“You’re going to burn a hole in the back of his skull.” Bene teases with a small jab to Mats’ ribs.
“Good.” Mats mutters, still glaring. “It’s not like it would hurt him anyway, there’s clearly nothing in there anyway.”
Bene shakes his head, unable to stop himself from smiling at the sheer bitterness. Thomas is ignoring them, as he usually does - in fact, he’s grateful to not have Mats dragging his attention away from whatever they’re doing every few minutes, god, he loves his best friend but Mats can be annoying as fuck.
The game wears on until halftime and the three of them begin to watch with equally unimpressed expressions - it’s a friendly, it’s with a team that has been majorly rocked and shook up, it’s going to take some time for them to gel but fuck - they’re terrible. Thomas shouts during the last couple of minutes of the half with the crowd, trying to rouse the team for one final push before the whistle goes but ultimately, they go in at halftime a goal down and not many people inside the stadium are surprised.
Thomas is leaning forward, unable to fight back the smile on his face even despite how frustrated Manu looks - jaw clenched and a scowl forming on his face as he crosses the pitch. Thomas can feel his heart hammer against his chest as he focuses solely on Manu, the noise falling to a dull thrum in his ears, barely registering Mats and Bene revisiting their bickering over selling each other out with embarrassing stories. He just sees Manu and the realisation alone causes him to chuckle softly, god, he’s so in love.
Mats looks up from where Bene is talking to him and smirks ever so slightly.
“You’re really committing to your new role as Manu’s WAG, huh?” Mats cuts in, effectively shutting Bene up - much to his irritation and forcing Thomas to drag his eyes away from the pitch that now only has the substitutes warming up on. “You’re a natural.”
Thomas glares. Mats smirks and waits for the biting reply whilst Bene just sinks back down into his seat and watches the scene play out before his eyes.
“You really look the part but could you tone down the heart eyes?” Mats asks with a roll of his eyes.
“Hypocrite.” Thomas mutters lowly, earning a snicker from Bene. “You’re the worst for having heart eyes for Benni.”
“... Yeah.” Mats’ one word reply comes as he glances down to his husband and sighs.
Thomas pulls a face at the lovesick expression on his best friend’s face when Bene shoves his phone in front of Thomas’ face causing the younger to blink a couple of times as he reads what is on the screen.
“It looks like Marc’s playing the second half.” Bene explains.
Thomas tries to hide how relieved he feels but it doesn’t fool Bene who nods subtly towards the pitch; initially, Thomas resists but then Bene is staring at him and Thomas nods.
“I’ll be back.”
That’s all he says.
***
Thomas wonders whether the lack of security around the Volkswagen Arena is something he should be praising or be concerned about because he barely passes anybody after disappearing from the stands to head downstairs. In fact, the one member of security he passed just looked at Thomas and nodded but didn’t question him or stop him.
As he’s walking through, keeping his head down to avoid anybody actually willing to do their job notices him and realises that he should definitely not be down here. He can hear the crowd outside starting to rouse once more, halftime coming to an end. Finding the home dressing room, Thomas hangs back around the corner from it as he sees his teammates- former teammates one by one start to exit, he almost calls out Joshua’s name when he sees him walking out but doesn’t.
He waits for a fucking eternity before he finally lays eyes on Manu exiting the dressing room but before he has a chance to get any further, Thomas is leaping forward and wrapping his long fingers around Manu’s wrist - pulling him in the opposite direction and around a corner, hidden away from sight.
Pulling his arm out of Thomas’ grip; Manu looks furious until he doesn’t, his face visibly softening when he realises just who is standing in front of him. Breathing out a sigh of relief, Manu almost swats at Thomas’ shoulder for scaring him half to death.
“Do I even want to ask-?” Manu asks, gesturing to the fact that Thomas is standing in front of him and not in the stands where he’s supposed to be.
Thomas just grins. “You do not. Hi, sweetheart, I’ve missed you.”
Manu just shakes his head, rolling his eyes before he’s grabbing at Thomas’ shoulders and pulling him into a hug that the both of them need . Thomas has his hands balled up in the back of his coat as he sighs into his boyfriend’s shoulder, a sharp but shuddery breath as he grasps on for dear life.
“I missed you.” Thomas repeats, his voice barely above a whisper at this point as he pulls back and lifts his hand to press his palm against Manu’s cheek, caressing it so softly, a featherlight touch. “Call me selfish but I’m glad you’re not playing the second half.”
Manu frowns. “That goal-”
“- Hey.” Thomas interrupts, holding his hand up and swiftly shaking his head. “We’re not doing that. It’s not your fault that they can’t defend.” Thomas insists, ignoring the way his throat tightens at referring to the boys who were his teammates just a matter of weeks ago as they instead of us.
Manu looks ready to protest but one quick glance from Thomas has him nodding and staying quiet; instead Manu just sighs and leans against Thomas, both of them resting up against the closest wall, their pinkies linked in-between them. It causes the smallest of smiles to flash across Manu’s lips as they stand there like that for a mere minute.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” Thomas hums in agreement.
Resting his head back against the cool stone of the wall, Thomas relaxes, his pinky still hooked around Manu’s as he tilts his head to the side to take a better look at his boyfriend for the first time in a couple of days. Even after his conversation with Bene, it’s still such a powerful sucker punch for Thomas, realising just how much he does miss having Manu, to put it in his friends’ words, attached to his hip. He thinks about it for a good few seconds, time ticking away, the game going on around them but they’re in no rush. Thomas wonders whether he should be honest, tell him everything he told Bene-
- But Manu is looking at him, lips parted and Thomas can’t help himself anymore. He pushes himself off the wall and presses Manu into it instead and finally, finally he gets to kiss him.
Manu gasps at first, somehow half-expecting it but not expecting it at all. It almost causes a snicker to escape Thomas’ lips at the surprise as he holds Manu in place with one hand at the side of his neck, thumb brushing over the stubble and his other on his boyfriend’s hip, fingers twisting in the material of the coat. It feels like the both of them are finally able to breathe clearly for the first time in days but despite that freeing feeling - unfortunately their lungs beg to differ and eventually they have to part before they pass out - although, Thomas is sure he could think of worse ways to go.
“Are you okay?” Thomas asks.
Manu is still catching his breath, cheeks rosy and lips parted as his gaze flickers on different things around them but mostly Thomas, it’s always him. Thomas doesn’t let his hand fall from Manu’s hip, drawing circles with his index finger against the fabric of the coat. Manu nods once he realises he’s yet to answer the question, a small smile appearing on his swollen lips and Thomas cannot help himself and kisses him once more.
“How long do you think I can get away with staying down here?” Manu inquires with a short, playful smile as he raises his eyebrows towards Thomas.
“Not as long as I wish you could, sweetheart.” Thomas resigns, sliding up beside him once more and letting Manu drop his head to Thomas’ shoulder.
“How did you even know I wasn’t playing the second half?” Manu asks, his voice tired and his eyes fluttering between open and closed.
“Benni.”
Manu tenses up for the briefest of seconds causing Thomas to hold his breath but Manu relaxes and instead turns to face his boyfriend looking interested as to what he’s about to say. It’s no secret to Thomas when it comes to the screwed up friendship Manu had with Bene for a time, them drifting apart and coming back years later to sort through exactly what the fuck happened back then. It’s taken time but they’re on relatively good terms now, though, there’s still underlying issues that Thomas knows he might never be able to fully understand. He can’t, he hasn’t got that, his best friend is Mats and Thomas doubts they have ever even shared a serious conversation during the last two decades.
“It was halftime, not important.” Thomas shrugs.
“I should talk to him, later, or tomorrow - I’ll call him.”
And, Manu sounds so sure of it that it takes Thomas aback for a second but he’s smiling and leaning into Manu’s side.
“I’m sure he’d like that, schatz.” Thomas murmurs, wrapping an arm around Manu’s waist and hugging him. “- But, and I hate to say it, I think I should get back.”
“No.” Manu mumbles. “They don’t need me out there anyway.”
Thomas swallows thickly, trying to ignore the fact there’s a double meaning to Manu’s words and instead he turns to face him.
“Yes, they really do, Cap.” Thomas insists, poking Manu’s side for good measure, grinning when Manu squirms away.
Thomas eyes the black and white beanie in Manu’s hand and takes it from him with ease and grins. Manu can see what Thomas is planning to do and doesn’t stop him when Thomas unfolds the beanie and stands up, reaching up and pulling it on. Snickering a little when Manu rolls his eyes as Thomas pulls the beanie down over his ears and stands back, admiring just how cuddly his boyfriend looks at the moment.
“Cute.” Thomas confirms, leaning in and winding his arms around Manu’s waist once more to hug him.
Manu rolls his eyes but doesn’t try to argue that he’s not.
“Love you.” Thomas whispers against Manu’s lips before kissing him a last time.
He doesn’t think he could ever get over the feeling of kissing him, Jesus. Thomas watches and waits until Manu disappears through the tunnel before sneaking back out and up to the stands unnoticed but even if he was caught - totally worth it.
***
Thomas is walking down the row towards Mats and Bene who are engaged in what looks to be a heated discussion but it’s Mats and Bene - they’re probably just expressing their love for each other so Thomas can’t be sure.
“Where have you been?” Mats asks as soon as he notices Thomas’ approaching figure.
Bene just meets Thomas’ eyes and subtly nods; Thomas nods back, unable to stop the smile twitching at the corners of his lips. Bene grins as he turns back to look at Mats who is still waiting for an answer - an answer he isn’t going to get. Mats waits until he gets bored and turns his attention back to the game.
Thomas leans in closer to Bene. “Thank you.”
Bene just nods, tilting his head to the side. “Don’t mention it. Is he okay?”
“Better.” Thomas replies and he’s so sure of it. “I think he’ll be okay.”
“And, you?” Bene asks, ignoring the salty comment that Mats makes from beside him.
Thomas shrugs. “Yeah, I think I’ve got this.”
Bene relaxes after that, sliding his hand into Mats’ once more and letting their joint hands dangle in-between their seats as they watch the second half play out.
The equaliser comes twenty four minutes into the second half and when Leon scores - Mats turns to Bene with a smirk and Bene scowls because he knows what’s coming, he doesn’t even have to ask. Thomas is unable to stifle his laughter before Mats has even opened his mouth. As the team celebrates down on the pitch beneath them-
“See babe? This is what happens when players with potential come to play for a better team.”
Bene glares, a scowl forming on his lips as he focuses on his husband.
“What?” Mats asks, tilting his head to the side as Bene continues to glare. “You’re only mad because you know I’m right.”
Bene raises his eyebrows; still yet to say a word and Thomas is more than ready to see Mats continue to dig a hole for himself.
“I just, you know, he left Schalke because they’re fucking terrible-” Mats starts but winces when Bene tilts his head to the side, almost encouraging Mats to continue. “- I - you know they’re bad! You said so yourself!” Mats flusters.
“Mats, honey, shut up.” Bene tells him.
Mats makes a strangled noise in response before slumping in his seat. Thomas snickers and Mats reaches around to slap him on the upside of the head - only causing him to laugh at Mats’ expense more.
“Nice job.” Thomas comments once Mats has retracted his arm.
Mats rolls his eyes before leaning against his husband. “Benni…”
Bene sighs but doesn’t tear his gaze away from the game, in fact, he has to stop himself from smiling as he keeps his face straight and focused on anything but Mats. Mats frowns but doesn’t give up - he’s been doing this for ten years, annoying Bene into giving him the silent treatment and having to come up with equally creative ways to break it.
“Are you really giving me the silent treatment?” Mats asks, narrowing his eyes when Bene’s lips twitch upwards ever so slightly. “Babe.” Mats murmurs.
Bene just rolls his eyes and resists the urge to push Mats’ face away from his own; he’s not even annoyed (well), he just likes to make Mats suffer because after ten years together - you have to find new ways to have a little fun.
Bene turns his head to the side and raises his eyebrows expectantly at Mats.
“Love you.”
Bene doesn’t react, pursing his lips as he waits for Mats to elaborate but he doesn’t, he just grins like a goof and leans in to kiss his husband's cheek. Bene just shrugs but he has to fight back the smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he wraps his coat further around himself as the clock ticks down towards the end of the game.
“You’re beautiful, you know?”
“Oh, for fuck sake!” Bene cries out, throwing his head back and to the side to see the smug grin on his husband's face. “I hate when you do that.” Bene grumbles, elbowing Mats to prove his point whilst trying to figure out if it’s cold enough to blame the redness on his cheeks on that.
“It worked though.”
“Idiot.” Bene laughs with a slow shake of his head as he drops his head to Mats’ shoulder once more.
Everybody inside the stadium holds their breath during injury time when Sané goes down under a vicious challenge. Instinctively, Bene reaches for Mats’ hand and intertwines their fingers without being able to take his eyes off the scene in front of him.
“Jesus.”
“Yeah.” Bene shivers as he sees the challenge replaying in his head.
The red card is shown and honestly, nobody is surprised. The game ends all square after the red card incident and Mats and Thomas watch the players shake hands before turning to each other.
“We’re not good enough?”
“Bullshit.” Mats cuts in. “Jogi might be the first coach to have them miss out on the Euros for fifty two years.” Mats almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of his words but it’s not as far off a bet as he’d like it to be.
“That’s if he lasts until the Euros.” Thomas shrugs, turning around to glare at the pitch, sending daggers into the back of his former coach’s head. “He should have gone after what fuckery happened in Russia.”
Mats can’t find himself to argue with that, they were all thinking it on the way back home after their surprising-to-say-the-least exit from the World Cup. Especially the senior players, wondering whether it was finally the right time for a change - what followed isn’t the change any of them had in mind .
“At least we can take comfort in the fact they’re still fucking terrible without us.”
Thomas smirks. “Well, boys, for that reason, I’m glad I came.”
“Really ?” Mats snorts. “That’s the reason you’re glad you came.”
“Shut it, Hummels.”
***
Mats slings his arm around Bene’s shoulders once they exit the stadium and mix in with the rest of the crowd. Thomas trails behind, glancing down at his phone and replying to a few texts when he looks up and spies his friends in front of him - laughing quietly, their foreheads pressed together. It reminds Thomas of the moments after they won the World Cup, the moments that the cameras didn’t catch and Thomas realised that what they had was so fucking special. Now he has that too, different but similar circumstances but the same feelings just exploding all at once and a desperation in their actions, a neediness that neither of them had realised.
Thomas tries not to think about the next game against the Netherlands, pushing aside any notion of the international break and focuses on after it ends, when the national teams begin to depart and players return home and how he can’t fucking wait to have Manu back in his arms. He can get through the next few days, tonight was what he needed -
“Benni!” Thomas calls out, not realising that he had managed to follow them all the way to whoever’s car is parked.
Mats’ arm falls from Bene’s shoulder and he steps aside as Thomas catches up with them both. Mats leans against the car and tries to keep himself busy with his phone as Bene smiles over at Thomas.
“What’s up?”
“Thank you.” Thomas says earnestly. “Jesus, Benni, I needed to hear all of that tonight.”
“Yeah, I kind of figured but hey, better to come from someone who has a fuck tonne of experience with it, right?” Bene jokes, unable to stop himself from glancing over at Mats. “I was worried about you two but-”
“- Manu, more. I know. He does care and he’s grateful, you know?” Thomas tells him, “I know he’s not going to tell you that but I know he is.”
Bene nods. “Yeah, it helps both of us. I’m glad we sorted our shit out, you going to be alright?”
Thomas nods. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going to-” an idea strikes him at that moment. “I’ve got something to do.”
Bene nods and brings Thomas into a hug before they part and Thomas drags Mats into a headlock - much to the other’s complete and utter dismay. Thomas throws a wave over his shoulder before heading off down the road.
Bene has a feeling he knows just where and what Thomas is heading to do and he has to stifle his laughter as he pulls the car keys from his pocket until he glances over at Mats.
“I’m still not talking to you.” He deadpans causing Mats to frown.
“Why not?!” He exclaims, his tone pitchy as his eyes grow wide.
Bene just shrugs.
“I’ll make it up to you when we get back to the hotel?” Mats suggests with a smirk.
Suddenly, Bene tosses the car keys over the top of the car to Mats. “You’re a reckless driver, let’s go.”
Strictly speaking, he knows he shouldn’t be doing it but when has he ever been one to follow any kind of rules? Thomas has Manu’s room number on the reply to their most recent messages and Thomas has to admit, Manu’s neglection to think anymore of his boyfriend asking for his hotel room is not only amusing but endearing. God, he really loves that man.
Wolfsburg has quietened down now that he’s away from the crowds and it gives Thomas a minute to breathe and take in the city under the number of streetlights as he shoves his hands in his coat pockets and continues to walk. He begins to wonder when he turned into such a sap when the only person on his mind happens to be his boyfriend and he can’t help the smile that automatically twitches at the corners of his lips because of it. Excitement courses through his veins as he thinks about the days ahead, still ignoring the upcoming qualifier but thinking about how he’s going to celebrate Manu’s birthday - they have plans.
Entering the hotel, Thomas waves to the receptionist behind the desk, ignoring the way the realisation strikes her after he’s passed her as he takes the stairs up to the fourth floor and walks down the corridor. His phone vibrates in his pocket but he’s already at the door, 405. Thomas leans against the doorframe and lifts his hand to knock once, twice - it’s not his first time sneaking into a hotel room that isn’t his after hours.
There’s shuffling before a crash on the other side of the door - typical. Waiting with a small smirk twitching at the corners of his lips, the door swings open to reveal his boyfriend rubbing his eyes sleepily, blinking rapidly.
“Thommy?” He wonders aloud, tilting his head to the side as Thomas pushes himself up straight.
And, god, Thomas feels his heart physically fucking aching at how in love he is. Taking in Manu’s unstyled hair, soft and fluffy and the sleepshirt that hangs loosely off his frame.
“What are you doing here?”
“I needed a place to stay.” Thomas smirks in response. “You going to let me in or should I leave?”
“Oh, no, you’re not going anywhere.” Manu insists with a wild shake of his head as he slips his hand into Thomas’ and pulls him into the room, causing them both to stumble in the process.
Thomas kicks the door shut with the back of his foot before spinning and pressing Manu up against it, his hands holding his hips as he leans in to kiss him.
“Tired?” Thomas asks as he tangles his fingers in the soft material of the sleep shirt, raising it a little as he does.
Manu shakes his head. “Not that tired.”
“Good.” Thomas murmurs before leaning back in and pulling Manu towards the bed encompassing the room.