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Cold, so cold, it felt like the winter had crept into her bones. Nothing seemed the get the chill out of her. The fire in the hearth was blazing but Tonks was freezing. She moved closer to the fireside and snuggled deeper into her blanket.
Everyday seemed to be the same, so cold, so bleak and so lonely. There was nothing left to be done for her. Everyone had gone on; left her behind to become the bitter woman she was now.
She sighed and looked into the flames. Her life had been filled with everything she had hoped for as a child. Why had everything changed? To become like this. Never had she missed a thing, she had always been cheerful and happy.
“Liar!”
Startled she turned her head. Where did that voice come from? Grabbing her wand and slowly getting up she glanced around. But there was no one; she was alone in her living room.
Shrugging she dismissed the voice as her imagination. Oh well, just another step toward senility it seemed. She settled back into her rocking chair and watched the fire consuming the logs.
If she was honest with herself she had missed out on a few things in life. There had never been a husband or children to care for. But that wasn’t unusual these days. The only man she would have wanted to spend her life with hadn’t loved her.
“How would you know? You never asked him.”
There was the voice again. Tonks scrambled out of the chair, tangling her legs in the blanket which resulted into her slamming to the floor with a loud crash.
“Damnit!” Her clumsiness never seemed to go away, not even after nearly one hundred years.
As she had managed to get to her feet again she looked around. Still, there was no sign of someone being in the room with her. But she was sure that this time she hadn’t just imagined that voice. Maybe someone used an invisibility cloak as a disguise?
“Who are you and what do you want from me?” she snapped at the shadows, but no one answered her. She huffed and turned back to the fire.
Well it was true; the man she had loved once had never returned her feelings. They had been friends, really close friends but nothing more than that. In his eyes she might have been some sort of little sister but that was all. He had wiped away her tears when she had cried and when she had woken up screaming from her nightmares he had taken her into his arms and comforted her.
Sisterly and brotherly love was the only feelings they had shared for one another and it had been better this way. Friendship, her mother had told her once, was something that survived everything.
“The same is said about love.” The voice replied to her thoughts. Again she scanned the room for a tiny flicker of something.
“How would you know? You don’t know a thing.” She was getting angry. What sort of prank was this?
Suddenly a figure stepped slowly out of the shadows; he or she was wrapped in a black cloak with the hood drawn down over the face.
“I know many things about you, Nymphadora.” The voice somehow sounded familiar to her.
She raised an eyebrow. “I doubt that, because if you knew me, you’d know how much I loathe that name.”
The man, it had to be a man, Tonks was sure of that, had the cheek to laugh at her.
“I’ll ask you one more time. Who are you and what do you want from me?” She had drawn her wand and pointed it towards the intruder.
“I’m not here to cause you any harm. I was sent to see if you’d come to terms with your life and yourself.”
“And what is that supposed to mean? I’m very much at terms with myself.” She tried to sound firm and strong but her hands were shaking.
“Are you happy with the life you live now? Happy how everything turned out for you?” he asked her, his voice sounding sad.
“Since you seem to be able to read my thoughts, I guess you already know the answer to that.” She was trembling now. “But it’s not like I can go back to change a thing.”
He took a step towards her. “It might not be possible to change the decisions you made so long ago but you should forgive yourself.” His hand reached out, to softly brush over her cheek.
Tonks wanted to recoil from the hand but as the fingers touched her wrinkled skin she couldn’t. The touch was soothing, somehow familiar but she couldn’t place it.
“We all make mistakes in our lives. Mistakes are there to be made and to learn from them.” He kept on stroking her cheek.
She turned her head, trying to look away from him. “I can’t help but wonder if my life would have been different had I not been such a coward.”
It was strange but she had the feeling he was smiling. “Would it help if I’d tell you he kept on wondering the same thing.”
And at that moment Tonks knew without any doubt, who was hidden behind that cape. But how was that possible? He had died 60 years ago and in the process taken her heart with him. What had remained of her was nothing but a shadow of her former self.
He took her hands in his and moved them to his hood. With trembling fingers she pushed the fabric from his face over his head and looked in the eyes she had missed for so long. For a moment she just stared at him not being able to utter a single syllable. His skin was void of any wrinkles and there wasn’t a strand of grey in his hair.
Just as she opened her mouth to ask he put a finger on her lips, silencing her.
“I came to take you away with me, Nymphadora.”
A single tear rolled down her cheek and he brushed it away.
“Let go, let go of all the regret, all the hatred. Leave everything behind.” His voice was like velvet and made her tired, so tired that she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Her body started to feel light and boneless. There were no worries anymore, no self-contempt and for the first time in a long time a smile played on her lips.
“I always loved you.”
“So have I.”
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