Chapter Text
Threefold shall be his losses…these words still haunted him, even in the stillness of his quarters. Hours after the girl’s small voice had drilled into him. Toneless, without emotion, as if she had been possessed. But – he rubbed his forehead – that wasn’t what she had been. An innate gift to see visions and even speak the future… rare if unheard of in all the writings he had ever studied. It must have been millennia since someone like this had been born! So much had been lost of their history….
It hadn’t been the first vision for her, nor would it be the last. But this last one had been for him… and it had been a warning. Only what for? Loss and dawn. All so vague, but so precise at the same time. Just like the Force and everything in his life so far.
For now, the Force was calm; content almost. The almost-eternal grief that had clung to the corners of his quarters had dimmed, fighting to stay alive than simmering before flaring up again. His fingers found the side where Eleena usually slept, now empty and cold. Were they finally healing?
Turning his head, he stared at the smooth and undisturbed sheets. A foreign feeling for her not to be next to him, and just outside where Edenye was sleeping. The girl had finally settled down and was asleep; deep and quiet. Somehow he had not expected her to form an attachment to the girl, or as quickly as she had. All his fault, it could have been like all the others: cut and dry with no memory left of them after. Should have expected it, as a tiny flutter of a bond was forming in his chest too.
What was he thinking when he gave her his last name?
Sighing, he rubbed his eyes that were burning. Sleep would not come easily tonight, if at all.
And that was his fault. Should have talked to her before opening his mouth. After all the years they had survived together. Against the Jedi, the Sith and Coruscant… should have really known better. What did he do instead? Decided over her head for them both. And he had shoved one into the place of the one they had lost. Had he hurt so much still that he had sought to stuff the hole in his heart as his first instinct? A question he had no answer to and probably would never have. Eleena had every right to be upset with him, even to be angry. Something he could have predicted and prepared for. Instead, she had spent time with Edenye and was laughing again. He gripped the fabric of his shirt. Bunching it up in his fist that rested above his heart, where hurt bloomed.
It was cruel.
So soon after their loss. And Edenye would be gone in less than a week. Far too fast… if only she had been found sooner. They might have been able to take her in, just like he had been.
There was no way around talking to her. The sooner the better.
With a groan, he swung himself up, stemming both hands into the mattress. His shoulders were tight with tension that pulled on his neck. First treason, then a hidden acolyte and now an upset Eleena. One that was his fault and the consequences he’d have to bear. Alone if necessary.
Eleena was awake when he opened the door to the room. Her eyes immediately settled on him, hooded and warm. As quietly as he could, he padded over barefooted and relief lightened the hurt in his chest.
“Hey,” he whispered, settling down next to her.
“Hey,” She mouthed back and looked back to Edenye.
Edenye was curled up underneath a large blanket; a small mound that moved up and down rhythmically in the middle of the couch. Strange to see, but felt natural at the same time. Even with Eleena in his arms, all they could truly focus on was a girl not too far away from them. He did not need to look down that Eleena was smiling brightly.
Until…
“She could have been ours,” Eleena muttered, her small hand curling around one of his shoulder blades. “You saw.”
The truth hurt when spoken out loud. He dropped his head on her shoulder. “I did. Forgive me.”
She did not reply immediately. “I know what you were trying to do. I love you and,” – she swallowed heavily – “I wish she could stay a while longer. It is just too early. For her, for us. These things take time.”
“We have to bring her to the academy,” he sighed in defeat. “She is old enough for the laws to be in effect.”
And they were moving on thin ice still. Another consequence of another action. Too many to keep track of. But he wouldn’t have it another way.
“I know. We could never be family.”
“We can try.” He looked up, searching her face for a glimmer of hope she always had. “Like we have always done. Adapt and move.”
“Do you truly wish to try?” Eleena asked, but the hopeful tone had come back.
“There are ways,” he admitted. “I read around… if we were to fully adopt her, she could spend time with us when the academy has its breaks.”
“It’s still moving too fast,” Eleena argued softly. “Today has been difficult for her and everything is a lot for her to process right now. Time we do not have with her and we both need to truly think about it too.”
“Yes,” he conceded. “But it is possible. For when we are ready, and she consents. Until then my name should protect her.”
Fault and consequence. He looked down to Eleena who had a knowing look on her face. Another consequence of a decision he had not been willing to make. Something he knew now he could have never lived with if he had. Sith strived on conflict and adversary… this was no different. The consequence of protecting an acolyte who by all means presented everything most traditional Sith hated or the consequence of having a family. Both were something he could live with.
Time would show.
Deep down where the first strands of a bond were forming, it was comfortingly warm.