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Debuting was hard, staying full-time idols was even harder. They had finished promotions over two months ago and were supposed to be working on new music for the next comeback but every single time they got in the studio to write or work with their writers it blew up in their faces. Music was something no one could agree on at this point, the direction of where the JJ Project’s future would lead. No one was on the same page, everyone wanted a different sound, a different look, everyone had complaints about something.
Jinyoung had watched Jaebeom go from a relatively happy active person to someone who barely left their dorm, stayed up all night trying to write something that someone would agree with him on and someone who’s temper was getting shorter and shorter. He wanted to be in the thick of it and Jinyoung couldn’t understand why, they were newbies; rookies at all of this still. They had no right to demand to write their own music, demand over the sound or the look but Jaebeom being himself wanted to challenge everyone on that. He wanted to be a ‘professional lyricist’ someday.
At this point writing to Jinyoung seemed like a pipe dream with how things were going, he didn’t want to write or participate. Not yet at least. He just wanted to have another comeback, he wanted to keep going and with how it looked right now they couldn’t continue with everyone like this. It was like walking on eggshells around the dorm too, due to the fact that their manager Hyung didn’t like Jaebeom’s attitude toward the situation which was to fight back instead of being an adult about things. He was 18, he really wasn’t an adult yet.
In the last couple of months, he’d taken up reading a little, off and on. It was relaxing and took his mind off of everything that was going on. Between sleepless nights waiting around to actually do something and almost bi-daily writing sessions that ended in screaming he needed something to take his mind off of things.
By the third month of this Jinyoung stopped attending studio sessions, he knew what it was leading up to and the word ‘disbandment’ left the worst taste in his mouth. One that made him spend over two hours on the phone with his mother crying his eyes out on the front steps of their dorm. He knew by then he would be going back to being a trainee after almost a year of being in the JJ Project. She came up to see him after that.
One thing that she said to him stuck in his mind for days after. If it must happen, if you must disband. I hope you don’t blame Jaebeom, he’s suffering just as you are. He didn’t blame him, he didn’t even think of blaming him. He wasn’t exactly fixing the problem but he wasn’t causing it. He then realized for weeks it might have seemed like that like he had given up on the idea of them ever continuing.
He found him easily sitting on the couch, eyes dead on the tv as some drama played. He had a notebook next to him, the dorm was quiet. Their manager was sleeping. It was late at night, the perfect time to go out. Walking over toward the penny boards on the floor by the door he picked one up looking back out into the living room seeing that Jaebeom hadn’t yet moved. “Hyung, you never finished teaching me,” Jinyoung said slightly louder so his voice carried over the drama. Jaebeom’s eyes moved over to him. “Walk?”
“It’s midnight,” Jaebeom said slowly but he was moving, sloth-like, pulling the blanket off of his lap moving to shut off the tv.
“It’s more fun at night,” Jinyoung said picking up a cap from the table and sliding it on backward over his hair. Jaebeom didn’t seem to protest, moving to grab his shoes from the front door. Slipping on a hat as well. He took the penny board from Jinyoung’s hands. It was cooler at night, the streets more empty. The park across from the dorms was even emptier with only the night lamps illuminating the streets.
“M’m not great at it you know that,” Jaebeom said shaking his head. “What do you want to learn again?”
“Being able to move on it would be nice,” Jinyoung said trying to meet his eyes but he still wouldn’t look at him. Jaebeom threw the board on the ground and gestured for him to get on it.
He knew basics, kind of how to stand but that wasn’t exactly the point of this outing. Trying to talk to Jaebeom was like pulling teeth. He did what he knew, standing how he knew but angling himself a little off so Jaebeom would have something to correct.
“You need to shift your hips a little, it’s not surfing.” Jaebeom teased a little. Playfulness filled his eyes. He poked his hip and Jinyoung moved again but making sure he wasn’t right still. Jaebeom reached out and grabbed him by his hips and angled him right pulling one of his legs so it was off the board. “You need to use that leg to move and then put it black into place so you don’t fall, I swear manager Hyung and I have shown you at least this.”
“Maybe you did,” Jinyoung said with a shrug. “It’s been months.’ He looked at him and Jaebeom met his eyes.
“Ah,” Jaebeom said shaking his head. “Of course, you and your bright ideas for conversation. I should have known. What do you want?”
The way he said it was almost bitter, it stung but he was trying to be understanding. “I’m sorry hyung; for not helping in the last couple of months. Not being helpful either, I know you are fighting for this, for us. I didn’t think another voice in the mix would be helpful.” Jinyoung said slowly. Jaebeom’s eyes were looking anywhere but at him, he started nodding.
“You could have taken my side. It would have at least not gotten as bad as it has.” Jaebeom said quietly. “We’ll go back into the system, back to being trainees. Do you know how hard that is to even think about?”
Jinyoung nodded. “When I met up with my mom last week and cried about it for hours she told me she knew it would probably be the most painful thing to happen to me but I would survive. We will both survive,” he said and saw that Jaebeom’s eyes were glassy and glazed over. He was chewing roughly on his lip. “Have you called your parents yet? Your mom?”
“I’ll tell both of them when it’s over when it’s really over,” Jaebeom said looking at the ground. “I told manager Hyung I won’t debut again without you even if it’s offered to me.”
Jinyoung froze. He hadn’t even thought of that if they were to split them up, put them in different groups or debut them as solos. Maybe they would even move companies, not be able to keep up in a couple of years. Being a trainee again, doing all of it all over again and not ending up with Jaebeom, after the insane two years they have had together with filming the drama and then the JJ Project debut. “Is that...what you’re worried about most?” he asked slowly meeting his eyes. “Not being with me?”
Jaebeom’s cheeks went pink under his gaze. The glassy eyes, pink cheeks, trembling lips “No...yes. I don’t know.” he confessed.
“We’ll still be best friends even if we’re not in the same group. We’ll stick together again, just like before. PD-nim said we work well together, even with what some of the sns comments and other groups and units. We’re different. We are better together than apart, everyone just has to see that.” Jinyoung said nodding. “You’re my best friend. I won’t debut without you either.”
“Really? Even if they offer you solo?” Jaebeom asked his eyes looked so hopeful.
“Ay!” Jinyoung said nudging his shoulder. “I’m not leaving you.” He crossed his arms. Jaebeom seemed to smile at that. Jinyoung hugged him and patted his back. “Call your family. It might help.”
Jaebeom nodded as they broke apart. Jinyoung noticed his hand seem to linger a little wanting to touch him so he moved and adjusted the penny board. He used Jaebeom’s shoulder to push off and try to move, using every bit of knowledge he actually did know. He moved barely, the board sliding in the wrong direction causing him to jump off of it. Jaebeom’s laughter filled the night air making Jinyoung glare at him.
He showed him a little, usually ending up with his hands on Jinyoung’s waist while Jinyoung’s hand rested on his shoulders to help him move. After about ten minutes and clear improvement they started to head back, this time Jinyoung on the penny board as they went through the very empty intersection back toward the dorm. It was much more comfortable now, no more tension in them being around each other. “You should come tomorrow to the writing session. I want your input even if you don’t have input.”
“Yeah, I’ll set an alarm.” Jinyoung nodded his focus more on trying not to fall off the board in the middle of the street than on anything else; making small movements to keep himself going until they were back on the sidewalk.
They made it back to the dorm without any problems, toeing off their shoes by the door and putting the penny board back in place. Jinyoung being the mild clutz that he was, kicked the board back to place and it fell over hitting the tile with a loud sound making Jaebeom hit him reaching down to pick it up he leaned around Jinyoung and as he stood up he was suddenly met with how close Jaebeom was to him. He could smell the gummy candy on his breath from when he was eating it on the couch, the smell of the fragrance he wore that had faded throughout the day leaving behind a scent that was so distinctly him.
He wanted to move, he knew he should move but in the small little hallway filled with shoes and coats Jaebeom wasn’t moving either and that was the most confusing thing about this. He usually would be the first one to move away if it held out for this long. A weird feeling spread through his chest, had they ever held eye contact for this long? He felt really hot and his body was almost moving on autopilot and he was just watching it happen as he leaned in and-
All of the lights suddenly came on around them and they threw themselves apart and their manager was suddenly screaming with a baseball bat in his hands making both of them start yelling. It was loud and messy, accusing looks from him asking them where they had gone, what were they doing, who did they go out with.
Jinyoung chalked the entire thing up to running high on emotions of possibly disbanding and losing each other for that moment. He didn’t think about it again after that, at least he tried not to.
**************************
So they were going on their first world tour, weeks and weeks went into practicing, working to make everything look as good as possible. It was busy, incredibly busy all the time with no breaks or rest not even for one full day. After the Seoul shows and Jaebeom’s back injury before them, they had started to be even more cautious with how they took care of themselves. Jaebeom blamed himself for ruining the entire beginning mood of the tour. He could see the vibe had changed from when they were practicing to after their first two shows out of the country. The first time they had a real day off and weren’t doing a vlive or recording something for behind the scenes Jaebeom found himself standing in front of Jinyoung’s hotel room door in Tokyo.
Yugyeom had taken over his room for the day with Bambam and they were probably going to go shopping. Jackson was resting and Mark was playing games with Youngjae for the day but he hadn’t heard from Jinyoung all day. Not even a text or any messages in their group chat. It was mid-afternoon too which usually he would hear something, even if it came from one of the members.
The door opened but he was met with not Jinyoung but one of their backup dancers shirtless and looking like he was very sleepy. Matthew, he knew him; his height, dark hair currently. Well spoken and mannered, English fluent. He wondered if he had the wrong room the second he saw him. “I’m looking for Jinyoung but-”
“He wasn’t feeling well after the show last night. He didn’t want to bother anyone so he bothered me instead.” Matthew said running a hand over his face. “I got him some flu stuff in the gift shop downstairs. It didn’t knock him out for a while so we watched a movie. He’s waking up now I think.” he looked back into the room. “Come in, shit yeah come in.” he moved out of the way.
Jinyoung not feeling well was one thing but Jinyoung not telling anyone but a backup dancer was a whole different story. Jaebeom moved more into the room and saw him sitting up against the headboard his knees pulled up little but his head in his hands. He was fully clothed, unlike Matthew. See, it was a weird thing right now between them. Jaebeom didn’t like to talk about it.
Debuting again put a whole new perspective on what happened in those two years that they were trainees again. Their manager had moved out of the dorm to work with other idols and they had been left alone. Things happened, a lot of things. Those things lead into them debuting again and being in a dorm with 5 other people and they weren’t about to sneak around when everyone could so easily find out. Sure he knew maybe Mark and Jackson suspected something, maybe even Bambam too but nothing they would voice anything on. They were three years into this now and no one would say anything.
Things happened when they traveled abroad, hotel rooms were easy to switch around. He didn’t know if this tour would be different or not. It had been 6 months since they had one really hasty makeout session after getting dinner after practice, it ended in handjobs in an alley at 3am and a walk home with silence. He knew it wasn’t good for them but he at least knew they were both too busy to have time for anyone else, dating bans were serious things that everyone intended to follow until the very last day they existed.
“I’m fine hyung,” Jinyoung said his voice rough with sleep and he looked up almost wincing at the light and Jaebeom realized he didn’t mean that toward him because he didn’t know he would be there. “Oh, Hi.”
Matthew sat on the bed laying back in front of Jinyoung. “You slept for like 13 straight hours so I would assume you had to feel a little better. Head still hurt?” he asked reaching out to push Jinyoung’s hair from his forehead to check his temperature. Jaebeom’s hand jerked a little at the touch, “Still a little warm. I’ll go downstairs and get food, then you can take another dose if you want?” he suggested with a shrug sitting back up. Jinyoung nodded at him. “You want anything Jaebeom have you already eaten?” he grabbed his shirt from the floor.
“I don’t,” Jaebeom said curtly. He was trying not to say anything, not to cause a scene or make a comment with him in the room. He kept his eyes trained on Jinyoung who was avoiding his gaze entirely.
“Hyung, can you try to find soup dumplings?’ Jinyoung suddenly asked him. He was doe-eyed and tired looking still.
Matthew nodded patting his arm as he grabbed his jacket. “Anything you want Jinyoungie see you in a bit,” he said. “Jaebeom you should stay, we can make a day out of it or something. Make sure he doesn’t die and staff won’t get worried.’ he said giving him a smile that Jaebeom was forced to return as he left. The door clicking behind him.
It was quiet for a minute. “What exactly just happened?” Jaebeom asked calmly.
“I was not going to make you or anyone else get up after how tired we all were to come and help me. I was not going to call the staff and make them get doctors and take me to a hospital for a sore throat and a pounding migraine. I could have just taken it, left it alone but Matthew very kindly noticed as we were leaving that I was having trouble standing up straight as we were waiting for a car. I mentioned it to him beforehand so I thought if I called him he would be more...a more friendly option so I did. The rest is none of your business but you are looking at me like something happened which it didn’t if you need to know that. He was laying in bed with me on top of the covers and I complained that he was too hot sitting next to me so he took off his shirt. It made me laugh at the time in my very fevered state. Nothing happened. You’re insecure.” Jinyoung said closing his eyes as he leaned his head back. “I still have a headache so if you want to yell or get angry save it. I’m not in the mood.”
“You should have called me, you should have told me at the venue or during the show. I need to know these things, not for 'us' as a reason either. For the entire group Jinyoung.” Jaebeom’s blood was boiling. He wasn’t acting like Jaebeom didn’t care about him at all.
“You’re more worried about me in bed with Matthew Hyung than how I feel and I know it,” Jinyoung said moving to get back under the covers.
“That is not true and you know it. I don’t care at all what you do with anyone else, you’re a free person. I have no control over your actions clearly.” Jaebeom said sharply. “You can screw Matthew hyung all you want.”
Jinyoung shook his head and closed his eyes. “The fact that you think I would do that makes my head even worse so thank you.’ he said filled with sadness and spite all rolled into one.
Jaebeom wanted to leave, he wanted to punch something too. He took one long exhale before walking over to him and feeling how hot he was to which Jinyoung slapped his hand off of his skin. He was still warm. He went to touch his arm and Jinyoung pulled away again.
“You had surgery on your back a little over a month ago. You cannot get sick.” Jinyoung said nestling under the covers closer to the center of the bed. “Just leave, I’ll talk to you tomorrow when I can get out of bed. We’ll fix this.’
He was right as usual but Jaebeom wasn’t going to let him win. “At least let me sit with you,” he said softer.
“Wash your hands after, don’t touch your face or eyes. Don’t touch me.” Jinyoung mumbled. “I don’t care what you do.”
“Yes, you do because I care what you do,” Jaebeom said quietly, bittersweet. “You’re mad because you are sick.”
Jinyoung never responded, instead he moved back so his back hit Jaebeom’s leg and side. Jaebeom took that as he was right though, Jinyoung really was the worst when he was sick and he should have realized that before he went off on him. He sighed a little, itching to touch Jinyoung’s hair or maybe hold his hand. He would tell him off and he knew it. Instead, he settled for rubbing his thumb along the knots in his lower back. He didn’t complain.
“Matthew hyung will be back soon,” Jinyoung mumbled.
“I know,” Jaebeom said quietly. ‘I’ll move if I need to, you need to eat anyway.’
“I’m not going to tell him to leave if you are trying to get me to-”
Shaking his head he knew it couldn’t happen like that. “He should stay. I don’t hate him, I just don’t like him...I don’t know. I don’t like him with you.” Jaebeom said quietly. “I like me with you.”
Jinyoung snorted. “Sounds like you’re asking me to date only you hyung,” he said. When it was quiet Jinyoung turned his head to look at Jaebeom’s face and then he started shaking his head. “No no no, you aren’t asking me that like this. No. I’m going to ask you if anything and I will decide when. Not like this, not when I am sick and gross in bed, feeling like death.”
Jaebeom smiled a little. “Okay Jinyoungie, whatever you want,” he said softly.
It was Jinyoung who took his hand suddenly. He didn’t say anything he just did it and that said a lot in itself. He squeezed his hand back as the door started to unlock and then Jinyoung pulled away moving apart from him. “Go wash your hands,” he mumbled under his breath as Matthew walked back in the room. Jaebeom was a little late at moving so the look Matthew gave him was not one so much of confusion but wonder with the way that Jaebeom was sitting on the bed. He didn’t mention it though, he didn’t say anything. Instead talking about all of the food he picked up and how Jinyoung would have to pay him back as Jaebeom went to go wash his hands.
It was Jinyoung that asked him, a week later. After another show and he was much better. As they walked down to their respective hotel rooms, this time Jinyoung was with Jackson. New city, new place. Jinyoung stopped Jaebeom by his room door; he was rooming alone this time. He asked him to promise there was only him in his life from now on, that they were each 'others', dating, together. They didn’t like the word boyfriends, either of them. During the trainee years that they started this in they said that word out loud a couple of times and it made them cringe a little. Not a label but a thing, an item. They were already partners in everything, this was just adding to the list. Jaebeom didn’t hesitate in agreeing.
Jackson interrupted them yelling down the hallway that Jinyoung should take a shower first and he pulled away before they got any closer promising he would try to be back later.
He ended up not being able to due to Jackson holding him hostage with a need to watch a movie and cuddle but Jaebeom was still happy seeing the text that ended with a little heart to it.
********************
He agreed on him moving out for the cat's sake, was it something he wanted to happen? No not even in the slightest but when Jaebeom suggested that he would have his own place and Jinyoung would get a key something made it sound more official than they were used to. Seeing Jaebeom take everything off of his side of the built shelf they had put together made him a little sick. It gave him a sour taste in his mouth knowing he would often be here alone or just with Yugyeom and Mark for however long they decided to stay. Then he would be alone.
As much as Jinyoung loved the idea of having an entire dorm to himself plus a manager he also hated being fully alone. Introverted he was but he wanted contact, he craved contact when he really wanted it. Wonpil seemed to make it a point to come over every day after Jaebeom fully moved out; Jinyoung knew he could tell that everyone was walking on thin ice around him thinking he would just snap. Even the texts from Jackson were softer and shorter, checking in on him constantly.
“You could go see him, you haven’t seen him yet?” Wonpil asked. He was nursing a beer, they were two boxes into spicy fried chicken.
Jinyoung shook his head. “I’m not going to go see him. He said I could come over whenever and gave me a key. That doesn't mean ‘come over a month after I’ve moved in.’ it means if I need to see him I can go and see him.” he said.
“Everyone knows your together you know that right? You know that’s why everyone is being weird. They think you broke up with him.” Wonpil said staring at him like he was waiting for an answer that Jinyoung didn’t have for him. Mark walked into the living room and beelined for the computer. “Mark-hyung! Is that why Jaebeom moved out? Do you know?”
Mark paused walking slowly over toward them but his eyes were trained on Jinyoung. His hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. “I thought we weren’t talking about it or asking him.” he glanced at Wonpil.
“Someone has to ask him by now. He hasn’t gone to see him at all, not once. It’s been a week.” Wonpil said shaking his head.
“The tension is getting so thick that I saw Yugyeom looking at apartments on his phone yesterday. He’s looking at them with Effin-nim.” Mark said looking at Jinyoung. “You’re sulking around here, staring at that bookcase as if someone died.”
“He needed to move,” Jinyoung said shrugging. “It’s better for the cats, better for him. It’s what he wanted. He didn’t consult me, I’m not his keeper.”
“You’ve been dating for like 4 years-” Mark said rolling his eyes.
Jinyoung glared at him. “We did not date during debut,” he said firmly. They were smarter than that, they didn’t do anything not even touch each other in any sexual way until their 3rd year. Their 3rd anniversary.
“You’re basically married,” Wonpil said shaking his head. ‘If you break up what happens to the group-”
“Nothing happens because we’re both professionals and more dedicated to the group than anything else,” Jinyoung said leaning back and crossing his arms. “We’re not broken up just at a weird place. I’m not mad at him, he didn’t do anything. I’m just-”
“Sad he’s gone,” Mark said softly. “That’s normal you know. I wasn’t exactly happy when Jacks started moving his focus to his solo activities but I realized it made him happier and he needed it as a release. Maybe this is Jaebeom’s release, he’s closer to his studio so he’ll write more. He’s closer to his parents who he wanted to spend more time with. He’s just-”
“Farther away from me. Thanks for the reminder Mark hyung.” Jinyoung said with a bitter smile grabbing another beer. “Both of you are unhelpful.”
“He basically asked you to come see him hyung.” Yugyeom’s voice from the doorway. He looked like he just woke up. It was 7pm and he just woke up. “You could go see him, tell him how you feel.”
Jinyoung hated how this looks like it turned into an intervention. He didn’t need this kind of help, they were fine weren't they? Preparing for their second world tour soon since they had just finished their comeback. He didn’t need to think about this as they were just going to start getting busy again.
“I’ll text him ask him to come over.” Mark suddenly said pulling out his phone.
“You will not!” Jinyoung said sitting straight up. “He doesn’t want to be here in the first place why would anyone ask him to come here?” He didn’t mean it the way it sounded, maybe he did. Maybe he was upset about the whole thing. He tried to ignore his feelings about it anyway. “Leave him alone.”
Mark rolled his eyes and went back to the computer. Yugyeom mumbled something about going out and started stealing the food Jinyoung and Wonpil had left. Wonpil didn’t say anything else about it changing the subject to where they were excited to go on tour. It was still stuck in his head the whole Jaebeom thing for the rest of the night. He went to bed early seeing as they had practice the next day and maybe he was feeling the three beers a little or Mark, Yugyeom and Wonpil got to him a little but he texted Jaebeom.
Three times he wrote really lewd and risky things and the fourth time he found a way to say it as kindly as he could.
Jaebeommie, I miss the taste of kissing you after dinner. Please make sure to eat well.
He added the heart, they always did that now. In texts and Jaebeom had started doing it on Instagram as well. It was a sweet thing between the two of them he supposed. He turned off his phone, knowing their manager would get them up in the morning and he didn’t want to know what Jaebeom’s reply was. He wanted to see him instead.
***************
Morning came too fast but he was out of bed and first in the shower before anyone else was even out of bed. Manager-noona promised them food when they got there so Jinyoung was in the car faster than everyone else as well. It was just the three of them anyway it shouldn’t have taken as long as it did. Jinyoung in the far back pulling out a book when Mark was getting in the car to move and sit next to him.
There were many more seats he didn’t have to sit as close as he did.
“So...I don’t think you were entirely sober last night,” Mark said slowly.
“Mm, why?” Jinyoung asked.
Mark pulled out his phone flinching a little as he went to kakotalk and clicked on their group chat sliding the phone over to him and he realized then what he had done. Jaebeom was ‘Beommie’ in his phone making him ahead of everyone else and he clicked on their group chat with their manager in it instead of the one with just him. The replies were from Jackson, Yugyeom, Bambam and Youngjae. All of them laughing and saying that this probably wasn’t meant for this chat and screenshotting it for later abuse. Yugyeom was getting into the car and giving Jinyoung the biggest smile.
“Gyeom-ah don’t,” Mark said softly.
That took the smile right off his face.
It wasn’t that he was worried about their manager knowing, it was that their manager didn’t say anything when she came to wake them up. Their other manager either, the one that lived with them. Which means they knew or found out in some other way. He laid his head back wondering if Jaebeom had texted him, he didn’t care to check. He would have rather now gone back home and gone back to bed but that wasn’t an option.
The car ride was so much quieter, no one said anything as they reached the practice building. Mark leaned into Jinyoung a little halfway through the journey trying to comfort him. Mark who usually spent time on his phone put it away and paid more attention to him than anyone else.
Two other cars were already there meaning everyone else was already inside. They shuffled out of the car and Jinyoung held back walking in place with their main manager noona who was texting while listing something off under her breath. ‘It’s not what you think Noona.” Jinyoung said to her. Mark was waiting back listening in. “The kakaotalk-”
“Jaebeom texted both of us last night. You’re fine. He explained in length and then called us this morning.” She said. “We suspected for a while, you’re not on a ban. You are an adult, he is an adult. We can’t let the public find out for now but you don’t have to worry as long as nothing interferes with the group which Jaebeom told us that it wouldn’t in every single sentence maybe 100 times. In length for over an hour, in text AND on the phone again I might add. You’re fine.” She patted his shoulder. “Be happy. We’re looking into auditions for you after the tour ends as well if you want them which you should and you will.’ she gave him a slightly serious look then. “Much more important things to do than worry about you finally dating Jaebeom which I’m pretty sure half of the company has been rooting for since you debuted in 2012.”
His jaw dropped a little, rooting for them? Be happy? You’re fine? Jaebeom talked to them? In length? Of course, he would take the leader role for this. Also acting? Auditions in a couple of months? He didn’t think that would happen so fast when he mentioned at the beginning of the year. Mark was suddenly grabbing his arm and pulling him inside. Jinyoung was still in a daze. He kept looking at their manager who was on the phone now as they walked into the practice room.
Without even hesitating Jinyoung’s eyes searched and found Jaebeom across the room in the middle of stretches with Jackson and Youngjae. Tables were being set up still. Bambam was with Yugyeom already sitting on the floor showing him something on his phone. Mark let go of him and when he didn’t move he grabbed him again and pulled him more in the room saying hello and good morning to everyone. Jackson was giving him this kind of wicked happy smile when he saw him and Youngjae too had a look like he was trying not to laugh all of the sudden which made Jaebeom look around finally meeting his eyes.
“Jaebeommie.” Jackson teased in the sweetest voice and Jaebeom hit his arm making Jackson instantly feign that he was wounded beyond repair making Youngjae’s loud laughter filled the room with an echo. Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile a little at them.
“Tease all you want. I have so many pictures of you in compromising positions over the years I can end you all at any time. One text equals nothing.” Jinyoung said setting his bag in the corner on the floor. He put his mask in his bag since they were not filming anything today, he would need his glasses later too; now he could feel Jaebeom’s eyes burning a hole into his every movement as he took off his jacket pushing his sleeves up a little too. He was watching him.
Jaebeom was at his side after a minute of Mark walking over and kneeling next to Jackson and Youngjae whispering about something. “‘Can I talk to you? In the hallway?” He asked. Jinyoung just nodded walking back in the direction he came in following him out of the room. He could feel the pairs of eyes on them and it made Jinyoung change his body language to not get too close to Jaebeom until they were outside of the room filled with people and into the empty hallway with stairs.
“Are you okay? What exactly was happening last night?” Jaebeom asked as Jinyoung leaned his side against the wall. “‘Yugyeom texted me that Wonpil stayed until about 9pm and then I got that text like 45 minutes later and I called you eleven times-“
“‘I shut my phone off,” Jinyoung said with a nod. “‘I didn’t want to be woken up.”
“‘I was going to come over because I was worried something was wrong but then Noona and Manager Hyung were going to see that so I texted them and in the morning I called and we discussed-“
“‘Yes you discussed our relationship with our managers and told them what? That we were together?’” Jinyoung asked his eyes dead on him. “You moved out. Is that proof we are still together?”
“I knew you were going to be upset even if you wouldn’t say it!” Jaebeom said pointing at him. “I knew you would be angry. You never said anything I should have known.” Jinyoung didn't say anything he was just quiet looking at him. “Wait did you say we are not together anymore?” Realizing what he had said, deflating entirely.
“I asked if we were still together. I didn’t say we weren’t yet.” Jinyoung said crossing his arms. “You moved out. You left your choice. You can finally be with the cats and be closer to your studio so I’m trying to understand and I want you to be happy-”
Jaebeom was smiling at him now and it made him trail off. “I gave you a key so you could come over. You know you’re one of the smartest people I know and you didn’t get it, I figured you of all people would get it,” he said. Jinyoung shook his head not understanding still. “I moved out so you could come over so we wouldn’t have to wait until tour or a concert or something out of the country to be together. I’m sick of being interrupted when we want to do something. I’m not asking you to move in, I’m asking you to share a space with me when you want to.”
Oh. Well, that changed things, he wanted to have sex on a regular basis then like a normal couple. He was trying to make things more normal for them when it could be. He supposed they should do that eventually what even was the next step? moving in together? Marriage? They were 4 years past dating. In normal dating terms, he was pretty sure they were way past dating and should have been married by now but nothing was normal for them. “I’ll use it then,” Jinyoung said nodding. “I didn’t know that I’m sorry hyung.”
“Are we okay then? You don’t hate me for moving out?” Jaebeom asked.
Jinyoung nodded. “We’re fine, I’m fine. Surprisingly the managers aren't mad because of whatever you said so I guess everything just goes back to normal,” he said.
“I told them nothing would happen to the group which it won’t,” Jaebeom said nodding. “I also may have told them I love you.” the last part came out of his mouth really fast and he was getting red in the face. “I figured if-well usually? Usually from friends I’ve heard if it’s serious and you love them managers take it better? The company takes it better. Not because- I mean I did ask but I didn’t tell anyone else so I just asked how it worked for them and it’s honest because I do love you?’
It was Jinyoung’s turn to smile now. “You’ve told me you love me in your sleep before and in front of fans, telling me that isn’t new,” he said pleased at seeing him so flustered. “I love you too.”
“Okay then,” Jaebeom said.
They both burst out into laughter. Jaebeom clutching onto his arm. It was so dumb, the way they were acting was so dumb. Whenever it came to relationship stuff they were sometimes better at showing than actually talking because one of them always read too deep into things. Jaebeom tended to blame it on the fact they were ‘deep’ people.
When the laughing died down Jinyoung leaned in and kissed him tugging him closer by his hand that had been on his arm. Their noses bumping into each other, Jaebeom was the one that grabbed him by his upper arm trying to take control and pull him closer. Jinyoung pulled away before it got too heated biting on his lip.
“You can come over every day. I know you want your space too, I also have an extra room so you can use that when you get annoyed with me.” Jaebeom said not letting him move away. “You can’t leave though, I’ll put locks on the windows and doors.”
“Possessiveness always looks good on you hyung,” Jinyoung said in a cocky tone. He knew the praise turned him on. It was when they heard loud ‘OOOH’s’ from behind Jinyoung and the door suddenly snap shut. Jinyoung moved and opened the door seeing them all scatter running across the room yelling and screaming. Bambam slipping and landing on his ass only made things funnier. Everyone was laughing, the staff was snickering.
“Try not to kill them. They’re actually pretty funny sometimes.” Jaebeom said to him grabbing his wrist he ran his thumb on the inside of it behind their backs. “They tease us because they care I figure.”
“Mmm doesn’t mean I can’t kill them,” Jinyoung said seeing Bambam making kissing faces and Yugyeom burst out into laughter. Jaebeom’s hand was soft in his though, it was distracting. He wanted to kiss him but it wasn't appropriate now so instead, he settled on letting go of his hand and lifting it to the hair at the back of his head running his fingers through the soft strands. “We should get ready to practice.”
“Yeah, we should.” Jaebeom nodded giving him a smile he didn’t move. His fingers brushed Jinyoung’s pant leg instead.
They could stand there for a couple more seconds, not hiding or being interrupted for once.