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The Castle That Never Was loomed above us, the omnipresent void making it cast no shadow. Were it not for the glow of the metal beneath our feet, light itself would be absent. The King acted as our front guard, while I brought up the rear. While Sora had griped about being a protected party, the King’s experience and my own stubbornness had landed him with the others. The purpose of my position was twofold: to protect them, of course, and to think. One would hope that I’d had enough time over the year of Sora’s slumber to make peace with my mind, but recent events had inexorably thrown my thoughts into limbo.
Why?
Why did they take me back? As if it were a given, a natural impulse. As if I hadn’t committed atrocities, hadn’t betrayed them and the worlds and the light itself.
As if I was still the boy they knew, what seemed so long ago.
In my naivety I hadn’t noticed the approaching footsteps until he poked me hard in the ribs. Before even thinking I was in battle position, blade drawn, only to see a cheeky grin shot my way.
“Sora, what is it?”
He gave me a stern look.
“I saw you thinking too much so I decided to snap you out of it. That’s a bad habit, you know?”
I rolled my eyes almost instinctively.
“Well, you would know a lot about bad habits.”
Sora gave me no answer but a pout.
He was still so easy to tease, even after all this time. After all he’d seen and done, after I…
“Hey! What did I tell you?”
I startled back into the present. There was that look again, concern and reprimand all in one. At this point I was doing nothing but bringing down the mood. Kairi glanced back at us at the exclamation but left us to our devices. I almost hoped she’d say something, just to distract Sora. The duty fell to me, as usual.
“You know if you keep pulling that face it’ll stay that way.”, I replied, not looking his way.
“Well maybe if it you keep pulling that face it’ll stay that way too!”, he retorted.
“What face?”
He frowned and furrowed his brow slightly.
“This one, the ‘I’m spending too much time on stupid things’ face”
I cocked an eyebrow.
“That’s just my face.”
“Well stop it, it looks really weird on Ansem.”
The statement was enough to sober me once again.
“Not much I can do about it.”, I muttered
He turned to me, arms crossed behind his head.
“Then I guess we’ll have to get your pretty face back, huh?”
My mind slowed to a halt.
P.
Pretty?
In that moment, and then alone, I was glad to be in Ansem’s form. His dark complexion suitably covered for the blood rushing to my face. I was no longer used to Sora’s thoughtless compliments, and the words swirled pleasantly in my stomach.
“Pretty huh?” I jibed, Ansem’s voice thankfully not cracking.
His eyes widened for a moment before he cocked his head in a patented Puppy Look.
“Well yeah, of course. It’s my best friend’s face.”
Ah. Oblivious as usual. The thought made me crack a small, bitter smile. This was the way it had always been, careless actions and words that gave me hope, only for them to be dashed against the rocks of reality. Sora, of course, just beamed back at me.
“Anyways,” he continued “ I finally found you, so it doesn’t really matter.”
My heart stuttered.
Why was he like this?
Why was I like this?
I brushed him off as much as I could without coming off as dismissive. Hopefully. My social skills weren’t exactly normal after so long without much friendly human interaction. It could also be argued that they never had been, but that was for another day.
I looked over at Sora again, who was eagerly striding forward with hands behind his head and dopey grin on his face. He’d even gone so far as to unsummon his keyblade. Was he really so stupid as to think that we wouldn’t run into more enemies? Or perhaps he was confident in our abilities to protect him. My ability to protect him.
It was probably the former. This was Sora, after all. But still, part of me liked to think that he trusted me somehow.
Suddenly the party came to a halt. Ahead knelt DiZ- no, Ansem the Wise, holding together his machine even as it shuddered and sparked. I rushed forward, Sora close behind. Yet as we approached a shimmering barrier surged from the ground, surrounding him in a bubble that spanned across the walkway. From across it appeared Xemnas, who simply looked at us disinterestedly as we readied our weapons.
“Now now,” he intoned, “you wouldn’t want to distract him would you? After all…” he tapped a finger against the shield, “It’s taking everything he has to keep this up.”
The words were offered without emotion, as Xemnas did, yet they still served to make my blood boil. Ansem may not have been my favorite person in the worlds, but he was trying to atone for his actions. We both were, I in my way and he in his. This may be his final act, and I would let no one deny it to him.
Yet it wasn’t I who spoke first.
“Xemnas!”
Sora.
He charged toward the bubble, jumping and performing an aerial strike with his keyblade before executing a series of stabs and slashes. I jolted in shock. I had never seen him… angry before. Not like this. Again he stabbed into the barrier, weapon repelled with such force that I heard him grunt in pain. Magic now, a ball of fire, ice. Lightning crackling around us and causing Donald to screech a curse.
The shield held.
Finally I decided that enough was enough.
“Sora! Sora stop!”
Sora’s head whipped around and his eyes were yellow. Streams of darkness ribboned from his open mouth. I placed a hand on his shoulder, comfort and warning in one. If you won’t stop I will make you stop . I meant it. No matter his motivations, he wasn’t in his right mind and I wouldn’t let him do anything he’d regret.
We stared at each other for a long moment before his posture slumped, keyblade vanishing from his hands. I looked back at the others to find the King had ushered everyone behind him, arms outstretched. It was funny, for a moment I had forgotten they were there, that they were privy to this moment as much as I. It felt shameful in a way, for them to see him like this. Private. After this was over, after everything was over, this would be discussed. But for now…
Xemnas had disappeared, apparently satisfied with what he’d witnessed. Sora glared at the spot where he’d stood, shaking. The only sounds were of the machine still clutched tightly in Ansem’s arms and Sora’s panting breaths.
“Well that sucked.”
The spell was broken. I turned to where Kairi had shoved her way in front of the King, digging through her pockets in search of something. She walked to Sora and extended her find, an Elixir, in front of his line of sight. A few exaggerated waves brought him out if his stupor and he took it, gulping the drink down. Within a moment he was smiling again, back in commission.
“Thanks Kairi, I really needed that!”
It was just another reminder, really. I could stop him, yes, but she could make him happy again. The gaping void between us seemed to widen.
In that moment the barrier shattered. By the next I had pushed them behind me. And then.
Light.