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Before TJ knows it, he standing outside of Cyrus’ door, in the pouring rain, and he has no idea what to do next. He should probably knock, he knows that. He also knows that he could call, but there’s no way in hell Cyrus would answer him right now. He knows he messed up, he knows he needs to apologize, but he has no idea how. How is he supposed to tell him what Kira said and how it made him feel without telling Cyrus what he feels? What he is? It’s a literal impossible situation that TJ doesn’t know how to get out of, yet he’s standing right in front of his door and he has no idea why.
TJ knows it’s time when he starts shivering. He can’t stand out here forever, or maybe he could. No. He thought, it’s Cyrus, he’ll understand. Hopefully.
Then TJ’s eyes are wide when the brown haired, doe eyed boy opens the door in quite shock. Did he knock? He knocked? When did he knock? These thoughts were swarming his brain until the inevitable moment when Cyrus interrupts them, “TJ?”
“Hi..”
“What are you doing? Get inside. Do you even know how late it is?”
“No, I kind of came here on impulse,” Cyrus rolled his eyes to that.
Cyrus sighed as he handed TJ a towel from the closet. He definitely did not want to have this conversation now, so he’d probably try his best to ignore it and inevitably fail.
TJ quickly dries off his hair and put the towel on his shoulders, and Cyrus tries to not to think how attractive he looks with his hair messed up like that. He’s supposed to be mad, and he his, but everything in him urged at him to just find out why.
Why TJ ditched him for Kira? Why TJ embarrassed him in front of Kira and in general? Why even bring up the costume idea that meant so much to him, to not do it all? Why was TJ his friend in the first place? Because after last week's events, it seemed to Cyrus that his friend is the opposite of what TJ wants to be.
It hurt TJ to know that this was his fault, he didn’t want to accept it, or believe it, but he knew it. He screwed things up with one of the most important people in his life. And it hurt…
TJ doesn’t even know what he wants to tell Cyrus. If he wants to tell him what he is feeling, or what he is in general. But the truth is, he doesn't know. And the unknown scares him. Not knowing how Cyrus will react scares him.
“Are you here for a reason TJ?” Cyrus was glaring at him now, and it felt like his heart fell into his stomach. Yup, he hates me.
“I don’t know.”
Cyrus scoffed, “You don’t know? You don’t know? You didn’t even come here to apologize?” If anything, Cyrus was more disappointed in TJ, after everything they’ve been through, he was really gonna waste their friendship over this?
“I-..”
“You know what TJ? I am so sick these stupid fights because of what you get yourself into. I just can’t even begin to understand why you wouldn’t even think to text me! Call me? It baffles me so much, I just don’t get you! I don’t get our friendship,” At this point Cyrus was getting closer and closer to TJ, and he was taking every word in. He never wanted to hurt Cyrus, he was just scared. Scared of Kira, scared of what he was feeling. Scared of coming to the realization of what he was feeling.
He knew he had feelings for Cyrus, but every time the thought even nearly grazed his mind, he shoved it away. And now he can’t escape it. The only way in saving their friendship is if he tells Cyrus how he feels, even if he ruins the friendship that way, he’d take his chances.
“I just can’t believe you TJ, I thought you changed. I guess I was wrong.”
Ouch.
“Cy-”
“Are you gonna even speak a full sentence to me, or are you going to keep saying one word and then get a look on your face that makes you seem sad? Which I know you probably aren't..” The last part was barely a whisper and Cyrus looked down. As much as it hurt TJ, it hurt Cyrus. He really thought he was different, and he usually has a good judge of character, “I just don’t know where I went wrong.”
And that was it.
The moment he wanted to prove Cyrus wrong, the moment he wanted to explain himself. Pour absolutely every cheesy, cliche feeling out of him and make Cyrus truly understand why he did what he did. He couldn’t lose him, not again.
So he did it.
This time, he said his name firmly, “Cyrus.”
And he looked up, TJ hearts broke at the sight. He was so sad, and it made him want to go through with it even more.
So, TJ cupped Cyrus’ face and connected their lips. Softly, and made sure he held on loosely so Cyrus knew he had room to pull away. But he didn’t.
One, two, three soft, kisses. It was the absolute best 5 seconds that TJ has ever felt. Even with them being small he put as emotion as he could into, it was cheesy, but it was the first step into telling Cyrus how he felt.
“TJ..” he whispered, but he didn’t even bother looking up. TJ hands lingered on Cyrus’ cheeks, their foreheads mere centimeters apart. They were just two boys, standing in a living room, neither knowing what to do next.
Reality snapped back into Cyrus, “This doesn’t explain anything,” He took a step back and let TJ’s hands fall, but not too far to where they were still at normal distance. The smaller boy staring into the blonde hair boys eyes, waiting for something, anything, to come out of his mouth.
“K-Kira. She blackmailed me, for that..”
“Because you’re what? Gay? Pan? Bi?”
TJ coughed, he wasn’t ashamed, no not at all. It was just weird, weird for out of all people Cyrus was the one to say it.
“I guess so. I don’t really know yet, all I know is im not straight,” He laughed a little and quickly looked up to make eye contact only to be met with a heavy amount of intensity, something that also scared him, so he looked back down at his hands, “she threatened to.. out my, feelings? For you, in a way I guess…”
Cyrus laughed lightly, “You’re not really sure of anything tonight, are you?”
And finally, TJ looked up again, and his eyes stayed up, “Cyrus, I’m sorry. I know, I should’ve called, texted, or literally done anything else. I was just so scared, I didn’t know what to do.”
TJ didn’t want to cry, he didn’t expect to. But then again, he didn’t expect to feel this much for the boy standing in front of him a few months ago either. But he did…
“I’m sorry, Cyrus.”
Cyrus knew he meant, he knew he truly meant it. And he forgave him. A little part of him is still mad, because well you can’t go 100 to 0 that fast but, he understood. And that’s all TJ needed right now.
Someone to understand him.
“This wasn’t the way I thought this would happen but, I’m gay, too,”
TJ genuinely smiled at that, he kind of figured he was after Cyrus didn’t immediately back up in disgust and yell at TJ for kissing him, but it was still nice to hear it. And for him to say it.
And at this point, Cyrus couldn’t resist. He took a fist of TJ’s shirt and pulled him closer and, kissed him. Just one long soft kiss. Then another short one, and he pulled away as TJ sighed.
“You’re so lucky my parents decided to stay overnight for my cousins wedding shower.”
Again, TJ smiled. Which he liked, and he knew the only real time he did was when he was with Cyrus.
“I should probably go now.”
“TJ it’s pouring.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Just take an umbrella or something.”
