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It wasn't like Ramuda to have his head in the clouds. Sure he always looked the part, but beneath that facade every step was calculated. Every action thought through.
World domination won't just come to everyone that dreamt of it.
But lately his thoughts of blood, gore and pent up anger have been replaced with green eyes. Green eyes that he can't stop thinking of. Green eyes that try so hard to lie to him but they never succeed.
Well, a correction: rather than completely replacing, they act more like a soft blanket that covered his usual thoughts. And that was way more annoying!
Suddenly you couldn't think of killing everyone anymore without the softness of a gaze so extreme, covering them so Ramuda couldn't reach.
Of course Ramuda has been through this before. Last time he was so hopelessly pining it was for a man he didn't even want to speak the name of.
He used Ramuda's trust and affection.. saw him probably as just an experiment or something sick along the lines.
And of course many, many people were pining for him in return. The one that stood out to him most was someone that he today still sees as a friend. Those mismatched hues that always tried to catch his attention.. and Ramuda was cruel, he could admit.
He played the young boy and probably gave him false hope. Not that he didn't like his friend, but there was no way he could let such a sweet ,now man, be tainted by his dark desires.
Ramuda was certain he'd break him.
Oh he grew soft and he hated it! It seemed the more he tried to keep people away the softer he got. The more he wanted to be surrounded by people. Love and be loved, as if any of it would matter in the end.
Maybe he could stop thinking and indulge in the moment. Tell the writer some cheesy shit like “It's you I think of through the day and thoughts of you keep me awake at night.” Hear him chuckle at it, maybe he'd even tease him and Ramuda would find himself in his arms. Feeling loved..
But that was foolish. Most likely the writer would just look at him funny and pretend he never said anything. Surely he had more important things to worry about. His best friend was dying, his writing wasn't going too well - chasing deadlines after procrastinating the whole time. The violet eyes that stole all his attention..
Right he forgot about that.
Or rather he tried to. But it was hard not to notice the way a gambler could get so much closer to him in the same spawn of time. Maybe it was his honesty that green eyes seemed to be so drawn to. Attracting each other like two opposite poles of a magnet. And you know what happens when two of the same poles try to get closer? They just push each other away.
And Ramuda could see that that was what was happening. But it wasn't like Ramuda could be so honest with Gentaro like Dice was- It wasn't like he didn't try.
But it takes a liar to know a liar and they could never attract the other.