Actions

Work Header

It's funnier than it sounds...

Summary:

Myrcella and Robb meet, sparks fly! Then *tragedy strikes* (said in a French accent per @sansaclarkes, add a cigarette s'il vous plait).

Tommen dies, she becomes the sole guardian of his children, but as the title suggests it is funnier than it sounds. and sweet, hopefully.

once more unto the breach, dear friends...

Chapter 1: Boy meets Girl

Chapter Text

Though it was only March, the sun shone brightly enough that he’d worn shorts and a t shirt on his run with Grey Wind, and was now sitting comfortably outside an outdoor cafe. 

 

It was a beautiful day in the Reach. It always was though. 

 

He hadn’t believed it when Sansa had first told him about it, he figured she was just trying to make him feel better about the move, but it was true. The weather was always beautiful, the air smelled like honeysuckle. 

 

Everyone was happier here, too. As though there was more than just perfume in the air. Perhaps something in the water. It was like he’d been dropped into a village in a Disney movie.

 

He’d moved there a few months prior to open a new headquarters for Stark Industries. He’d be here for the next few years, though he traveled back to the North often on business and to see his family. 

 

He was finishing up his iced coffee when Grey Wind’s ears perked and Robb’s gaze followed his. 

 

Well done, buddy. 

 

His gaze had fallen on a girl walking towards them. She was on the short side and slender, coincidentally his type, wearing a white and dark blue sundress and a pair of brown sandals. She was holding a bouquet of hydrangeas in one hand and a bag from the village wine shop in the other. Her golden hair was up in a ponytail, showing off her elegant neck and she had a large pair of sunglasses on. Even with half of her face covered, she was undeniably pretty.

 

“Myrcella!,” the waitress exclaimed. 

 

The girl who must have been Myrcella’s face broke into a wide, beautiful smile. It stirred something in Robb’s chest and he couldn’t help watching her as she set the flowers and wine down on the table next to his and lifted her sunglasses off her face. 

 

He was an idiot, a fool. To call this girl merely pretty was an insult of the highest order. She was exquisite, stunning… so fucking pretty. All of her features  in perfect sympathy with one another. 

 

“Hi lovey!,” she grinned at the waitress, thankfully completely unaware of the stroke he was having.

 

She gave the waitress a hug, a real one, not one of those simpering ones he saw so many people down here trade. 

 

“What can I get you?,” the waitress asked. 

 

“An iced lavender latte please?,” Myrcella asked in a sweet voice and then rolled her eyes, “And yes one of those pistachio loafs if you have it - please tell me you don’t have it!”

 

The waitress giggled and went back inside and Myrcella looked at him for the first time. It was just a glance but his veins felt like they were on fire anyway. 

 

And then all of a sudden she was very nearly in his lap.

 

“I’m so sorry!,” she exclaimed, her face just inches from his, her hands braced on his shoulders. 

 

He had no idea what could have caused that turn of events but it certainly wasn’t something she should apologise for. She smelled like something clean and sweet, and up close he could see a little path of freckles dusting the bridge of her nose. 

 

“That’s-,” he started and couldn’t help but grin at her, “That’s alright.”

 

Her pupils dilated and she said, “I think I’m caught…”

 

Me too, sweetheart. 

 

Then he looked down and realised what an idiot he was. And how smart his very good boy was who was going to get extra treats this afternoon. 

 

Grey Wind had managed to wrap his leash around her slender ankle. In truth, she was lucky she hadn’t broken it.

 

“I’m so sorry!,” it was his turn to exclaim, though he wasn’t really, because she hadn’t broken her ankle and she really did smell amazing. “He um… usually only does this with my sisters and niece. He’s a sucker for a pretty face.”

 

To his delight Myrcella giggled and bent down. She took Grey Wind’s chin in her hand and cooed, “Well you’re a handsome devil, aren’t you? Yes you are…”

 

Grey Wind’s tale thumped erratically as she scratched behind his ears. Robb took the opportunity to lean down and unwrap the leash. His knuckles brushed against her silky calf unintentionally when he did and her leg was instantly covered in goosebumps. 

 

Her eyes flicked to his and if he wasn’t mistaken her gaze fell to his lips, “Thanks,” she grinned, “I’m Myrcella.”

 

“Robb,” he gulped, because they were still so close to each other. Grey Wind licked her cheek and he grinned, “And this flirt is Grey Wind.”

 

She giggled and held Grey Wind’s head to her chest and pressed a kiss to his head. Someone might think he neglected him with the way his dog burrowed into her like he’d never known such joy. 

 

“Iced Lavender Latte, and…I’m sorry… but a pistachio loaf,” the waitress said and Myrcella stood up. 

 

“Oh thank the gods,” she grinned and took it from her, she reached in her pocket and handed the girl a twenty. 

 

“I’ll be right-,” the waitress started. 

 

“Put it towards tuition,” Myrcella interrupted firmly.

 

“I’m not going to -“

 

“Yes, lovey, you are. Trust me,” Myrcella nodded.

 

The waitress sighed as though she had long been losing a war of wills against Myrcella. She thanked her and went back inside and Myrcella placed the loaf down on the table and took a sip of her latte. 

 

“She should find out Tuesday,” he said stupidly.

 

“Hmm?,” Myrcella asked, the straw between her lips, her eyes wide as though she’d forgotten he was here. 

 

He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the little droplet of her latte that was resting on her bottom lip. He wanted to lick it off of her. 

 

“From um, universities…,” he clarified. 

 

She quirked an eyebrow and asked, “Are you on an admissions board or something? Because if so you really have to talk to her. She’s so bright… and she’s on the debate team and -“

 

He shook his head, “I’m sure she is but no…my little brother is a senior too and my mom said that all the letters will be posted online on Tuesday.”

 

She gave him a sheepish smile and nodded, “Oh well I hope your brother -“

 

“Myrcella Penelope Baratheon,” a stern voice cut in. 

 

The beauty’s cheeks turned pink immediately and her eyes got wide.

 

“Barristan!,” she cooed.

 

“Don’t you Barristan me, young lady,” an old man reprimanded her. “I want a date.”

 

Robb was about to stand up and tell him that for one thing he was far too old for her and for another he shouldn’t speak to women like that and for another that was his future wife he was speaking to so he could just mind his manners, thank you very much. But then a beautiful older woman joined him and smacked the back of his head. 

 

“We already picked a date, she’s coming on Thursday,” the woman told him. Then turned to Myrcella, “I swear he never listens to anything I say.”

 

“Too busy admiring you,” Myrcella suggested as she stepped forward to place a kiss to the woman’s cheek and then one to Barristan’s. 

 

Is she the mayor? Or did I actually get dropped into a Disney movie? 

 

In the North, everyone from White Harbor to Greenwood Motte seemed to know each other, but that was just the way it was. Here though, even though it was a small town he never got the sense that it was quite as interconnected.

 

“I’m making that sole that you like,” the woman told her.

 

“Bless you,” Myrcella grinned, “What can I bring?”

 

“Nothing,” the man and woman said in tandem. 

 

She fixed them with a stern look and Barristan sighed, “Well, if you happen to find some blackberries and peaches to make that tea cake…”

 

“Done, easy,” Myrcella nodded, “What else?”

 

“Him,” the older woman said and to Robb’s surprise she was looking right at him. 

 

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, Robb,” Myrcella said, “I didn’t realise that you knew Barristan and Ashara.”

 

“I uh don’t,” he shook his head, standing up. He held out his hand to Barristan first, “I’m Robb Stark.”

 

Barristan looked at him warily and then held his hand out as well, “Barristan Selmy,” and shook it firmly. 

 

“Forgive him,” Ashara smiled, “He’s a dottering old fool for this one. I’m Ashara.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” he said. 

 

She had the most peculiar lavender eyes he’d ever seen and though she was clearly seventy or older she was a beauty still. He wondered if she and Myrcella were related. They didn’t look alike but there was clearly a tremendous amount of love between them and there was something in the way they carried themselves.

 

“I’m confused,” Myrcella admitted. “You all don’t know each other?”

 

“Well now we do,” Ashara winked at him and pulled Myrcella to her side, holding her waist, “But he didn’t stop looking at you the entire time we were talking so…”

 

“Ashara!,” Myrcella blushed, hiding her face adorably in the older woman’s neck. “Don’t embarrass him.”

 

“She’s not wrong,” he admitted, “And I don’t embarrass easily. Certainly not for looking at a beautiful girl.”

 

“Well said!,” Ashara commended him, “Dinner is on Thursday at 8 o’clock. She’ll give you the address. Dress is casual, but we’ll eat outside and she always gets cold so bring her a sweater.”

 

Myrcella was beat red as Ashara pressed a kiss to her cheek and dragged Barristan away. 

 

“She likes to meddle,” Myrcella explained, “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m…not,” he told her. 

 

She grinned and picked up her belongings and said, “Their address is 147 Plum Avenue. She likes lilies.”

 

“And what do you like?,” he wondered as she turned to walk away.

 

She glanced back at him, “Promptness. Don’t be late.” Then she turned on her heel and started walking away, “Bye handsome!”

 

“Bye!,” he called. 

 

She didn’t turn around but he heard her giggle before she called back, “I was talking to Grey Wind!”

 

He grinned at her, though she couldn’t see it. He watched her walk down the block, a bounce in her step. He wasn’t sure if it was from their interaction or if it was just who she was, but it didn’t matter. 

 

He didn’t look away until she turned the corner and then he looked down and saw Grey Wind staring right along with him, his leash in his mouth. 

 

“I know buddy,” he nodded, rubbing his head, “Don’t worry. We’ll see her again.” Grey Wind let out a little whine and Robb grabbed his leash, “But for now let’s go get you some treats! Such a genius move with that leash buddy.”

 

Grey Wind looked at him and all but smiled, as though it was very well planned and he too was proud of himself. 

 

They walked down the street and stopped at the high end pet boutique that he never went to. He almost got Grey Wind some $14 treats but left and got him a hamburger instead. They ran a few more errands and when he got back to his townhouse he wrote 147 Plum Avenue, 8 PM Thursday, lilies and an extra sweater on a piece of paper and slipped it under a magnet on his fridge. 

 

He turned on the Direwolves hockey game and Grey Wind hopped up on the couch with him and for the first time since he’d arrived, the Reach felt like home.