Chapter Text
“The good news is that it doesn’t seem to be arthritis, Oikawa-san,” the young doctor looks at your mother. She breathes out a sigh of relief, shooting you a look.
“But that was the good news,” the doctor continues. “Your daughter isn’t exactly in the clear, Oikawa-san. Yes, it isn’t juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. But instead, it’s patellofemoral pain syndrome.”
You raise an eyebrow at the fancy name. Pain syndrome? Trying to lighten the atmosphere, you add in your two cents of thought. “Well, it can’t be any worse than arthritis, right?”
The doctor frowns. Your heart drops. Your mom shoots you another look after she registers the doctor’s reaction. Her expression screams ‘I told you so’.
“Well, yes, it isn’t worse than arthritis. PPS is often called ‘runner’s knee’ or ‘jumper’s knee’. You see, Oikawa-san, it normally occurs when there’s overuse of the knee. Given your history in which you said you play volleyball competitively, the repeated movement and force of your knees could have caused this. Ah, you also mentioned you stay back and practice late either by yourself or with your brother when normal afterschool practice is over. And it was a jump serve you were working on? The repeated daily stress on your knees from the landing and building up to the jump would have pushed your knee to its limit, I’m afraid.
“In your case, the overuse of your knee has caused some irritation under the kneecap. But there seems to be some muscles imbalances and weaknesses as well. Normally, when you bend your knees, there’s a groove that it moves up and down in. With the muscle weakness around your knee, the kneecap moves to the side slightly instead of it’s normal up and down. That can cause more pain.
“Matching it with your symptoms of pain when walking and exercise, sitting for a long time, and popping sounds of your knee with some swelling sometimes, it seems to be a perfect match. Although there isn’t a need to worry, PPS can be treated easily. I’d personally recommend at least six weeks of physical therapy to help with the muscle imbalances and to get your knee moving properly again. During physiotherapy, I strongly suggest you focus on stretching your quadriceps since they are the main stabilizers of your kneecap. Once again, the good news is that this is easily treatable and you’ll feel as good as new after it.
“However, this is the bad news…” The doctor pauses from his small monologue of treatment options and diagnosis to gauge you and your mom’s reactions. You can’t see your mom’s face, as you’re sitting on the examination bed and your mom is sitting next to the doctor’s table with her back facing you. Frankly, you’re glad you can’t. You can feel the evil aura radiating from where you’re sitting.
Your reaction isn’t too bad. You’re glad that you don’t have arthritis, as it’d completely hinder your volleyball playing permanently. Although you’re not too happy with PPS, it’s so much better than the former diagnosis. You’re fortunate.
“You won’t be able to play volleyball until your knee is fully healed.”
Alright, maybe you aren’t as fortunate as you think. You freeze. Your heart sinks to your stomach. “What…?”
The doctor shakes his head. “I’m sorry about that, Oikawa-san. With the overuse and stress that your knee is currently under, continuing to play volleyball will only make PPS worse. Although it is rare, if your knee gets worse, there may need to be surgical treatment. If that occurs, you’ll only find yourself being away from volleyball longer. I know it’s going to be hard not playing the sport you love for what seems like an eternity, but it’s the best option for the long run.”
You frown. You’ve worked so hard this past month to perfect your serves, your spikes, for the upcoming Junior High Athletics Meet. You’re currently the third-year ace of your team. How would Kitagawa Daiichi’s girls’ team fair without their ace? Especially at a time like this, with the meet coming in a little over a week? Your frown somehow deepens as you think of yourself breaking the news to your team and coaches while watching their disappointed expressions.
“Low-impact activities won’t do much harm, although I suggest you be extra careful with them. A knee brace would help and support your knee during it. It isn’t completely necessary to purchase one as they can be quite expensive, but it is a good option to consider.”
You nod as you listen to the doctor’s advice. He’s most likely right. Besides, it’s your fault for overworking yourself in the first place. If you had listened to your teammates' concerns and not practiced as hard as you did, you wouldn’t be in such a predicament. The most important thing you can focus on now is to make a full recovery, despite your constant need of being around volleyball.
Your gaze drops to your hands that are wrapped around one another. You’re ashamed. I really want to play this year. I want to defeat Shiratorizawa and see the look on their faces when they realize that they aren’t the ones heading to Nationals this year.
“Thank you for your hard work, doctor.” Your mom says, standing up and bowing at him. You follow and do the same. The doctor smiles and stands himself.
“I wish you the best of luck in volleyball, Oikawa-san.”
“Thank you,” you force a smile out as you and your mom make your way out of the doctor’s office and back into the waiting room of the hospital.
Your mom doesn’t say anything to you, which is worrisome. Normally she’d be the first person to comment on your tendencies to overwork yourself and would constantly fret over you. The silence as the both of your exit the hospital is unbearable.
“You know how I feel about this, right, Y/N?” Your mother says abruptly when you both are seated in her car. She looks over to you in the passenger’s seat with an expression bearing disappointment you don’t think you’ll ever be able to forget. You nod, lips forming a thin line. You await a mini-lecture from her.
“Good. I’m not going to lecture you, because I think you’re probably berating yourself in your own mind, right?” She hits the nail on the head. The entire time the two of you were walking to the car, you were yelling at yourself in your mind, cursing your stupidity. You nod once again, not able to gather the words to form a proper reply.
Your mom sighs, reaching for your hands that are folded in your lap. She squeezes them. “You’ll be fine, Y/N. You’ll be as good as new in six weeks.”
She lets go of your hands and starts the car, pulling out of the parking spot and to the local pharmaceutical place to purchase a knee brace for you.
In six weeks, school will be over. I won’t even be able to play in the final tournament of my junior high volleyball career.
—
When you arrive home, you’re met with your annoying older brother you can’t help but love and the childhood friend you both share.
“Y/N!” The boy exclaims when he sees your enter through the door, your mom following closely behind you. Your mom squeezes your shoulder and pushes you lightly towards your brother and your friend. She greets the duo before walking up the stairs to let the three of you talk.
You look at the kitchen island, where your brother’s currently seated. Beside him is your friend. There are two white plates containing food on it placed in front of the duo. They must’ve arrived home a while ago before you did.
Your brother gestures you over to the island. You follow his gesture and take a seat across from him and your friend.
“So, what did the doctor say?” He asks. You sigh, your grip on the box of your knee brace tightens unconsciously. You’ve completely forgotten that you’re holding it.
You drop the box of the knee brace on the table with a grimace. It lands with a loud thud, skidding over to the boys’ side of the table. Your eyes burn holes through the packaging. “I’m really stupid, Tooru, Hajime.”
You feel two pairs of eyes drill through your head. Your head rests on your hand with your elbow propped on the table. You don’t have the heart to look up and meet the gazes of the duo. You don’t want to see what kind of disappointed expressions currently rest on their faces.
“Y/N…” Tooru starts, then pauses. He seems to be gathering his words.
“I overworked myself,” you say before Tooru has a chance to continue. “I practiced too much and strained my knee. My muscles are weak too, around it. My kneecap doesn’t move up and down correctly and moves slightly to the side. It can be fixed though, with six weeks of physiotherapy and…”
You take a deep breath. You didn’t want to say it out loud. It would be like you’re accepting your defeat.
“And?” Hajime prompts you.
“I can’t play volleyball during that time.”
With the completion of your sentence, it really does feel like you’re accepting your defeat. You saying it out loud is like a slap to the face, or having a bucket of ice cold water dumped on you. You finally will yourself to look up, meeting the eyes of Tooru first before moving to Hajime. They’re unreadable.
“I’m sorry,” Tooru says with a frown on his face.
You let out a dry laugh. “For what?”
“I shouldn’t have shown you that jump serve, or encouraged you to do extra practice with me. It only made you want to work harder. Look where that has gotten you.” Tooru looks at you with guilt in his eyes.
You furrow your brows, “you seriously can’t be blaming yourself for something I did to myself, not you. This is not your fault, Tooru!”
Hajime nods. “Trashykawa, you’ve even mentioned to Y/N that you didn’t want her practicing much after her teammates leave. You always limit her practicing time when she joins us at Aoba Johsai, too.”
“But… she did almost the exact same thing I did. A knee injury because of overworking yourself.” Tooru admits. He head falls down, breaking your eye contact to stare at his dinner in shame.
“Hey,” you say. Tooru looks up. “At we’ll twin now, right?”
There’s a strained look on your face either boys notice but don’t comment on. Tooru appreciates your effort on cheering him up, anyway. He doesn’t let it go in vain.
“That’s right!” Tooru says with an overly cheery tone in his voice. “You’ll be following in my footsteps!”
Hajime whacks Tooru on his head, “I don’t think following in your footsteps in a good thing for Y/N, Trashykawa.”
A contorted look appears on your face. The ‘following in my footsteps’ thing is a joke that the three of you found yourself making often. As a proud member of the Oikawa family, you take pride in saying that you’re a volleyball player. Many people claim that you’re ‘following in your brother’s footsteps’, to which you’d roll your eyes and reply with a sarcastic retort. Besides, you aren’t completely following in Tooru’s footsteps. He’s a setter and you’re a wing spiker. Big difference, even though Tooru’s the one who got you into volleyball in the first place.
With a reminder of the joke, you laugh, spreading a smile of both boys’ faces. They don’t like to see you upset, and with the news of you not being able to play volleyball for a long time truly made you look defeated. As well as you think you’re hiding it, the duo is easily able to see the hurt on your face and how much you blame yourself. It’s a look they never want to see on your face again.
With the tense atmosphere lifting, the three of you chat about your day. The two boys try to make you laugh as much as possible, with the goal of making you temporarily forget about your injury. The accomplish it with ease, with Tooru making a dumb comment almost every other sentence and having Hajime smack him back to his senses, literally.
Soon 7 pm arrives. Hajime announces that it’s time for him to leave. As you as Tooru watch your childhood friend walk back to his home from the entrance of your house, Tooru places his hands on your shoulders and turns you to face him. His stare is intense. You find yourself unintentionally gulping.
“Promise me,” he starts. His voice is firm.
“What?” You ask.
“You won’t overwork yourself anymore. Iwa-chan was right about it not being a good idea that you follow my footsteps. Look at what it’s done to me, and now you.”
“You know I can’t promise that. I love that goddamn sport too much. But I’ll try my best, only if you do too.”
“Okay.”
You smile at Tooru, “good. I will too, then.”
Tooru squeezes your shoulders before letting go. A familiar smirk appears onto his face. “Now now, Y/N-chan. You’ve had enough free time. Go do your homework before you lose all the information you have in there to volleyball.”
Your eyebrow twitches. Tooru’s run off, but you waste no time in chasing after him. “Get back here, Trashykawa!”