Archive of Our Own

The air conditioning is beating mercilessly on Donghyuck’s back, the conversations of students around him are loud and relentless in the hazy background behind him as he swallows an intake of air into his lungs, feeling it enter his body much like the times he would resurface from the swimming pool of his private boarding school after hefty minutes of being submerged underwater. He feels an arm wrap around his shoulders, then another from the other side, and his body moves as if on auto-pilot to wrap his own arms around the shoulders of those beside him, Jeno and Jaemin.

“One…” The photographer in front of them say out loud, a tired smile on his face as he’s taken plenty of pictures from the school’s graduation today, and Donghyuck is positive he would simply drop everything at this moment if he was given the opportunity to race back home and into the comforts of his own bed, not be stuck in a secluded area of the mountains at a boarding school full of filthy rich students. “Two!” He says louder this time, and Donghyuck’s mind is pulled back by the pinch of his waist, and Jaemin murmuring a slow, “Smile, you idiot.”. “Three!” Donghyuck smiles then, pearly whites on showcase, and he ensures it reaches his eyes, though not his soul as the camera’s light flashes, and he struggles to not blink at the violent brightness of it.

“Our turn!” Another group of students chorus beside them at the waiting line, and the three friends scramble away to put the props back on the table, handing them to the other students who wish to use them.

Donghyuck simply sashays away from the scene as he didn’t use any props, and he takes his place beside Renjun, who didn’t want to take a picture in front of a sparkly background with overdone props. Renjun is leaning on a marble pillar, watching them with bored eyes. He follows Donghyuck’s movement, but stops and continues to focus on Jaemin and Jeno who are arguing about where to put the pictures on their phones near the photo booth, instead of arguing at a more private space where they don’t become a public nuisance. It wouldn’t be Jaemin’s group of friends if no one annoys someone on a regular day.

“Hey.” Donghyuck says, exhausted from the graduation today and as per usual, he doesn’t bother trying to hide what he’s feeling.

“What’re you doing after this?” Renjun asks, not responding to the greeting. It’s a Renjun thing to do that, and they know it’s only with those he’s close with and doesn’t feel the need to be perfect around.

“Haven’t we had this conversation before about, like, three hundred times before today?” Donghyuck snipes back with no heat, a chuckle leaving his lips.

Renjun takes a sharp intake of breath then, and it stops there as if he wants to say something he isn’t sure if he should. Eventually, he says it anyways, and Donghyuck can practically hear the gears of his brain moving about as he words out his sentence, careful and articulated, caring of Donghyuck’s feelings. “I overheard you talking with your mother in the headmaster’s earlier this year.”

“Oh.” The sound leaves Donghyuck’s lips before he could catch it in his throat, and he swallows thickly around it. “I don’t know. It’s really none of my business where he is right now.”

“You’ve talked about seeing him before, though.” Renjun utters, and Donghyuck vaguely remembers when they all first became friends, people were surprised that they could hold heart-to-heart conversations as easily as this, not looking at each other directly and in a public space. Donghyuck remembers how their dynamic is much looser than other friendships, yet it means so much more, and they hold each other that much more closer.

A beat of silence follows Renjun’s sentence, until Jaemin and Jeno are ushered away by the photographer and they make their way to the other two boys. “That was when I was thirteen. A lot has changed.”

“Donghyuck, don’t forget your toiletries!” His roommate, Daehwi, calls out to him from the bathroom, his voice muffled as it’s obvious it’s full of toothpaste and his toothbrush.

“I won’t, just get out of there first! I don’t want to see you naked, you exhibitionist!” Donghyuck replies to the other as he pulls the handle of his luggage bag to the front door, beside the mountains of other bags currently deposited there while  they get ready to clear up their dorm room and leave the school for good.

He groans as he stretches his body, feeling his back ache in relief and hears a couple of bones pop. He feels like his grandfather, but his grandfather is also someone who’s currently working at the fields back in his hometown, most likely doing more work than Donghyuck could ever imagine as a boy whose been kept in a house full to the brim with maids, butlers, kitchen staff and the likes. Then again, Donghyuck thought, all of that ended once his parents got a divorce, and Donghyuck and his siblings were all sent to different boarding schools in different areas of Korea. Donghyuck gets letters from his siblings once in a while after the whole situation has died down and his parents seem to have split amicably with his mother gaining the full child custody, yet Donghyuck never replied, and he never went back home during the holidays either, opting to spend the Summer and Winter vacations alone at school, or traveling abroad with Jaemin whenever the other didn’t really want to go back home either.

His mind wanders to the conversation he had with his mother in the headmaster’s room, and he remembers the anger in her eyes as she asks him, “Do you want to see him again?”. It was quite a funny memory to Donghyuck, if he had to tell this to anyone and he didn’t want the mood to go too down. His mother was giving him a choice, whether he wants to see his father again or not, yet she sounded so threatening, as if she would have him killed at the spot if he were to say yes. At the end of the day, Donghyuck only said he didn’t want to see her again, and that was the one thing he was sure of.

Until now, Donghyuck isn’t really sure what he felt in his chest. It wasn’t regret, nor was it anything painful or lost at the prospect of not having a family. He’s currently content with how his life had been going during high school. He had been fine with not going back home. He didn’t miss home. He might have missed his younger siblings sometimes, especially when he got their letters but never replied, yet it was never enough to make him long for home, or make him feel like his life wasn’t complete without his family. Everything had been fine for him, and when he said that to his mother, he wasn’t saying it out of any sort of emotion. He only stated a fact. He didn’t really want to see her again, it never did cross his mind that he would until he was suddenly called into the office to converse with his mother, the headmaster out of the office as the two talk privately - or maybe not privately enough, as Renjun had been able to hear it.

He thinks back to when he was thirteen, the little boy who was suddenly sent to a private boarding school up in the mountains. His father was there with him as his mother had a job outside of Korea at the time, and students were required to come with at least one parent to the orientation before being left there. Donghyuck was fine with his father. In fact, he rarely saw the man, yet he remembers always loving it when he did see him. He remembers the baseball games they used to play at the backyard, remembers the puppy he had given him and his twin sister for his fifth birthday, remembers how he was the only one who would make it a point to go to all of his children’s special events at school, like their Sport’s Day. Nonetheless, he didn’t do much other than that. He was too caught up in work, too, and Donghyuck understood that, never tried to engage in his parents unless they engaged with him first.

That’s why, when Donghyuck’s mother leaves him alone in his headmaster’s office as she spits out, “He’s fucking homeless now. If you want to see your shameful father again, then you better be searching the streets of Seoul. I know how much you adored him, but he’s nothing now, and you should see it for yourself.”, Donghyuck was left feeling confused. It was weird to think of the hardworking businessman as someone who’s homeless, but Donghyuck also realized his mother didn’t know him if she thought he adored his father that much. Then again, maybe she knew him too well to say that, too.

“You’re dozing off again, dumbass.” Daehwi says playfully, shoving Donghyuck to the side as he settles a box on top of his bag.

“At least I don’t doze off during water polo and get hit by someone’s fucking elbow.” Donghyuck retaliates, and Daehwi screeches in offense as Donghyuck laughs and makes a run for his room, locking it behind for safe measure.

It’s a familiar scene to Donghyuck. He’s constantly in a room full of people talking to one another, or people simply minding their own business, and they’re all a soft blur behind him. They’re like the background noise one would hear in a television show or a drama, where the main characters are having a heated argument yet everyone around them barely cares. He’s been to drama sets before, courtesy of Renjun’s older brother, Sicheng being a popular Chinese actor, so he’s familiar to it whether it be professionally or personally.

What he isn’t familiar with is the reason he’s at a Family Mart in the Jeju airport with a plane ticket to Seoul that he’s booked exactly on the day he returned home - or, more specifically, the extra cabin they have near the pool that has been renovated according to Donghyuck’s wishes to have it as his own living space away from the house everyone else resides in. He’s waiting for Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun to arrive to the airport. They said they wanted to see him off before he goes to Seoul alone, and Donghyuck has threatened them that he wouldn’t get on the plane if they tried to get on it with him, so he waits.

His luggage isn’t heavy, but it is big. He plans on staying there for at least a month or two, and he’s aware of his impulsive buyer tendencies whenever he sees a nice hoodie lying around the streets, not caring of the price tag. The weight he’s booked for himself is still 40 kilos, because Donghyuck had been too lazy to care about it as he booked his tickets. At the back of his mind, he hears the little voice of parents during his kindergarten days, the parents who talk of him when he can hear them, thinking he has no idea what they’re saying when, because of the family he grew up, he was forced to know what they’re talking about.

“They don’t care about whatever they’re doing. They just waste their money away, not thinking about how hard it is to earn it.”

Donghyuck could barely care - actually, he couldn’t even bother to care. He’s aware he spends money like it’s nothing sometimes, but that’s the thing. His family has too much of it. What’s the use of keeping it stacked up, especially when they give him an allowance each month and yet he cooks for himself, washes his clothes with his own hands, and basically has no need for money? He’s going to use it carelessly on other things once it piles up, so Donghyuck isn’t sure why others care so much about the way he spends the money in his hands or cards.

Donghyuck sighs as he swirls the ramen noodles around in the broth, picking it up before shoving it in his mouth. He’s tired again. He almost always is tired with everything, and he wishes for his mind to stay quiet sometimes, enjoy what’s in front of him instead of thinking of the useless things of the past that should no longer be of importance to him.

For now, Donghyuck tries to focus on the broth of the ramen. It’s spicy, and it has a tangy kick to it. It’s a little bit sweet, and Donghyuck wishes he could put something in it to reduce the sweetness. Luckily, he had a cup of hot water already on the same table as him that he’s taken prior to eating the noodles. He pours some water into the cup, swirls it around, and looks into the ramen. His stomach doesn’t feel like eating it anymore suddenly.

His phone dings then, and Donghyuck sees the front of his phone light up with a message on kakaotalk in the groupchat from Jaemin.

Dumbass #3:  Hey idiot, where are you?
Dumbass #3:  Oh, nevermind. See you.

“You don’t want that anymore?” Jeno questions Donghyuck, sliding into the seat in front of him as Jaemin drops his hands onto Donghyuck’s shoulders surprisingly, causing the tan boy to jump in his seat and gasp in shock.

“God damn it, Jaemin! Don’t scare me like that!” Donghyuck hisses, not even trying to reply Jeno as the other has already taken his ramen cup noodle and started eating it.

“Scaredy cat.” Jaemin snickers, taking his seat beside Donghyuck, before he’s turning his body around slightly to call out to Renjun, who’s in front of the fridge where they keep the bento sets. “Renjun! Get me the tiramisu pudding!”

Renjun turns around to raise his eyebrows at Jaemin, before he’s flicking his middle finger to the other boy as their way of saying, “Okay.” and Jaemin gives him a smile and a little finger heart. Donghyuck rolls his eyes at his friend’s antics, grabbing his green tea bottle and shaking it around, looking in front of him at Jeno now with the cup noodle right in his face as he chugs down the broth. He winces at the trail of broth and drool that’s slowly dripping down to Jeno’s chin, and he grabs one of the serviettes on the table, throwing it to Jeno though it only collides with the bottom of the ramen cup.

“Eat properly, you barbaric.” Donghyuck says to Jeno when the other sets the cup down, licking his lips much like a cat would.

“You just don’t know how to appreciate good food.” Jeno says back, sticking his tongue out much like a child towards Donghyuck, yet going to get the serviette to dab on his chin and lips nonetheless.

“What are you, twelve?” Renjun snorts when he comes over to their table, hands occupied with his bento box and a plastic full with beverages and, as Donghyuck eyes zones into the pudding cup inside the plastic, Jaemin’s tiramisu pudding.

“On a sc-”

“If you dare use that shit, I will not hesitate to kick you in your sack right now.” Jaemin threatens Jeno, nose scrunching in evident repulse. After all, the boy has made it apparent that he’s sick of hearing the same corny jokes at least fifteen times a day back during their high school days. The students in hallways and classes would use the same thing over and over again, and though they find it funny and utterly creative and ‘savage’, Jaemin found it annoying after the second week of hearing the same thing.

“Violent.” Jeno whispers weakly, though Donghyuck sees the way he hurriedly puts his hands under the table, presumably to protect whatever’s down there that Donghyuck isn’t interested in knowing about.

Renjun blinks unimpressed at the two as he takes his place beside Jeno, handing Jaemin the plastic bag to rummage through as he pops off the plastic top of the bento, chopsticks and spoons in a plastic beside him being torn open by Jeno to aid Renjun. Donghyuck takes the plastic top from Renjun when he hands it to him, placing it in the plastic bag Donghyuck had earlier as their little makeshift garbage bag.

“When’s your flight?” Renjun questions, lifting a piece of the crispy pork covered in spicy sauce on top of the rice.

“2:15 P.M., if i’m not mistaken.” Donghyuck answers, turning the cap of his green tea milk open to drink from.

“And it’s, what? 11:30 A.M. right now?” Jaemin chirps, and Donghyuck sees him scooping up the cocoa powder off of the surface of the tiramisu pudding out of habit to lick off of the spoon first.

“Actually, it’s almost 12:10 P.M..” Donghyuck corrects, and Jeno chokes on his spit as he almost drops the garbage bag he was holding to put in the ramen cup into.

“You haven’t even checked in your luggage? What the fuck, Donghyuck?” Jeno reprimands, standing up as he grabs onto the handle of Donghyuck’s large luggage bag while Donghyuck whines at him, letting out a frustrated huff of air. “I don’t care if you’re lazy to move. We’re going to check in your luggage. You two can eat first here and meet us there later since we have to get his bag all wrapped up, too.” Jeno gestures to Renjun and Jaemin, who nod their heads in obedience towards his orders.

Donghyuck merely lets out a sigh as he holds onto his green tea milk bottle, standing up and following beside Jeno who’s already walking out of the mart, Donghyuck’s bag’s wheels screeching almost painfully on the ground as Donghyuck eyes it with slight embarrassment. He really needs to get a new bag before he ends up being the center of everyone’s attention with how loud his wheels can be as they roll through the surface of the smooth floor of the airport.

“What do you plan to do when you’re there?” Jeno starts once Donghyuck is walking beside him and not behind him, absentmindedly twisting the bottle in his hands.

“Well, I already have an Airbnb there that I booked for two months a couple of stations away from Ewha University. I heard they have some cute clothes being sold at the streets near there, and that the university’s really pretty, so I might as well go there first.” Donghyuck says nonchalantly, as if his main reason for going to Seoul is for traveling in the city he used to go to once every week before he went to the boarding school.

“You aren’t going to… look around?” Jeno pensively asks, subtly eyeing Donghyuck to gauge his change in facial expressions - only there wasn’t any expression to gauge.

“I already said I’m going around to the university, isn’t that looking around?” Donghyuck says lightheartedly, rolling his eyes in good nature as he then eyes Jeno with a look that says, “Really, Jeno?”.

Jeno knows him well enough to be aware that he’s simply ignoring the fat white elephant in the room, and he puts down the topic for Donghyuck as he starts talking about the high prices of the in-app purchases of the game he’s been indulging in since the end of high school. Donghyuck smiles at the act, grateful to have friends like his own.

Donghyuck drops off at Hongik University station, rolling his luggage with him as he exits the train, trying his best to avoid shoving people with his luggage, not that others minded him as the went inside the train, shoulders bumping into his. He isn’t new to this sort of fast pace city life of the people who live here, considering he’s been one of those people for a short while before, despite having only been a child at the time, so he pays it no heed as he goes over to the lift meant for the elderly or those with luggage bags.

He awaits for a second with other elderly women dressed either in working clothes from the wet markets and another person with a luggage bag who wasn’t in his coach at the train. He looks at the other person, a boy, wearing a white t-shirt underneath a blue denim jacket, denim jeans and a pair of white shoes. He’s wearing golden-framed glasses and his forehead is hidden with his blonde hair as he looks down at his phone on one hand scrolling through, and another hand resting on the handle of his luggage bag. The lift arrives at their floor, and when he looks up, he’s met with eyes that recognize Donghyuck’s own, eyes which Donghyuck recognizes, too.

“Donghyuck-ah.” Mark says in pleasant surprise, nudging his head to the lift, pulling Donghyuck out of his daze.

“Mark hyung.” Donghyuck acknowledges, tugging his luggage to get inside the lift, occupying the empty space the elderly women have left for the two boys at the other side with Mark following suit.

“You’ve graduated, I assume? Here for holiday before you find your university?” Mark pries, eyeing Donghyuck yet ready to move at any moment since the lift ride is only up for one floor.

“Something like that.” Donghyuck replies vaguely with a shrug of his shoulders, and once the lift has reached their floor, they let the women out first, Mark holding the door open for them.

“That’s nice! I’m here for holiday, too, and kinda meeting someone. I’m staying at an Airbnb near here.” Mark tells him, moving back to press himself against the wall, motioning for Donghyuck to leave the lift first.

“Oh, really?” Donghyuck piques, his curious heightening as he makes an exit from the lift, staying near the lift to ensure he doesn’t bother others walking in front of the lift as he awaits for Mark. “Which Airbnb?”

“Takustay. I stay there every time I come around this area.” Mark reels his luggage with him, and Donghyuck widens his eyes in surprise.

“I’m staying there too, actually.” Donghyuck says to the other, his eyebrows lifting as his eyes get bigger.

Mark blinks, most likely in shock, before his facial expression mirrors Donghyuck’s. “Well, that’s a whole big of a coincidence for us.”

At the back of Donghyuck’s mind, he hears Jaemin’s little mocking voice of, “Coincidences aren’t real, this is fate you’re talking about.” but he pushes it to the back of his mind, shrugging his shoulders once more with a pout on his lips as he takes his T-Money card out of his pocket.

Donghyuck isn’t really someone who believes in fate, much less after Jaemin and Renjun’s little escapade on the internet for everything related to fate and soulmates. He doesn’t think it’s not real for others, but he just finds the concept funny, and the way his friends make such a big deal out of it and talk about all the conspiracies surrounding it, Donghyuck just finds it to become more and more fake as the days go by. He won’t deny it though, if anyone asks how it felt like to suddenly meet Mark, his ex-senior student body president, straight-A student and ace of the school’s badminton team who is now in Seoul National University studying law, that it feels a little like the universe is giving him a little gift, seeing as Donghyuck has always admired the older and respected him plenty.

They tap their T-Money cards on the machine, rolling their bags with them and taking the escalator as opposed to the stairs. Donghyuck is known throughout their school for always taking the stairs, even going up and down the stairs during their free time as a means of exercise and leg toning since he rarely moves his body otherwise, yet he won’t ever take the stairs when he has luggage at the subway stations in Korea. They have too many staircases and his luggage isn’t exactly a backpack that’s easy to carry up and down the stairs.

“I’m surprised you took the escalator.” Mark says, amused as he turns behind to look at Donghyuck.

“I don’t exactly have plans to die so soon with my luggage in Seoul, hyung.” Donghyuck jokes, and Mark laughs, the same laugh Donghyuck always takes pride in making it come out of Mark, the same laugh that still brings that feeling in Donghyuck’s chest to life.

Donghyuck is aware of the feelings he feels inside of him, and he allows himself to feel it. It’s normal around Mark for him, has been since he first interacted with the older back in his freshman year and the other was the one who helped him find his way around the school, even asking Jaemin and Jeno to take care of him when he dropped off the younger at his class. Donghyuck never entertained it, though. He never thought about what it could mean and all of those things he deems useless. After all, Mark is just another boy, and so is Donghyuck. Donghyuck never really cared to think of his sexuality, and he isn’t about to care about it now when he’s in Seoul in search of his father, so he lets himself feel warm and happy with Mark. For once, he finds familiarity in someone he isn’t all that close with in a city he’s decided is more foreign than any other place ever since he was thirteen.

“Is it possible if we just have rooms that are joined together by a door?” Mark asks the host, a family friend of his it turns out, who only smiles at him sadly.

“We have no rooms like that, Mark, and all the other rooms are already occupied. Besides, it’ll cost more money for you to change rooms at the last minute, y’know?” The host answers, and Mark sighs as he nods his head in understanding.

Mark had asked Donghyuck on the way to the Airbnb whether they should share a room, hoping to save costs, and Donghyuck is ever so pliant to whatever Mark requests. Hell, Donghyuck has even turned down the offer from his swimming coach to practice the day before his tournament since Mark had asked Donghyuck to study with him and help him review things from the younger’s books due to the senior’s exams being a compilation of their past year studies, too. Sharing a room with Mark? Doesn’t really sound like something Donghyuck could say no to, even if he wanted to, which Donghyuck doesn’t think about the possibility of.

“I guess we can’t share a room.” Mark frowns, carrying his bag up a few steps of stairs with Donghyuck to follow the host up to the living area of the guesthouse.

“Plus, it’ll cost more.” Donghyuck points out in addition.

“Yeah, it’ll cost more.” Mark agrees, but it sounds like the thought wasn’t really his top priority, even though his main reason to share rooms with Donghyuck is to save on their traveling cost.

“Well, Mark, I reserved your usual room for you. Donghyuck, right?” The host asks, gesturing to Donghyuck, his hand already on the handle of a door as Donghyuck replies with a simple hum. “Yours is right here, beside Mark’s. I’m sorry you can’t get a connected room, but at least it’s side by side.” The host apologizes, and Donghyuck shakes his head.

“No, it’s alright! Besides, all the other rooms are full and such. We wouldn’t want to inconvenience you since we’re already staying here.” Donghyuck smiles, holding his hands up to solidify his statement and reassuring the host.

“He’s right, it’s fine. Thank you so much, though.” Mark says, and the host now smiles in relief. “Well, do you still need me to show you around the area? Mark is accustomed to it, and since he’s your friend, I think you’ll be more comfortable with him than a stranger if you have any questions. All the other patrons are out for now, too, since it’s the day.”

Donghyuck looks at Mark in silent question, who gives him a look much like an excited child, so Donghyuck says, “I think Mark can show me around. Thank you for being so considerate of me.”

“It’s no problem at all. I’ll be downstairs if you two need anything.” The host says with a final tone, waving to the two as he disappears down the staircase.

Donghyuck and Mark stand outside of their rooms, both facing their doors. Donghyuck isn’t really sure why, but when he looks at Mark through his peripheral vision, he can see the body language of someone who wants to say something to him, someone who has something to say, so Donghyuck waits until Mark is ready to say it, unless Mark decides not to. It’s quiet safe for the sound of things moving at the lower floor, and Donghyuck’s mind is in a peaceful, quiet state for once as he hums a song mindlessly.

“Do you want to go out after you settle in, or do you want to sleep?” Mark asks Donghyuck, a little bit nervously as he chews on his bottom lip. He doesn’t even dare to look at Donghyuck’s direction, apparently deciding that the white door is much more beautiful than Donghyuck’s own face. Donghyuck feels more than just a little bit offended and amused at the same time.

“Well, Seoul is just another city, so there’s really no need to sleep. I was thinking about going to Ewha University and the areas around it.” Donghyuck replies, and Mark’s shoulders goes a little bit slack, less tense than before.

“Remember when I said I’m here to meet someone?” Mark starts the question off, and he stops, waiting for a reply.

“I do.” Donghyuck says as a smile makes its way to his face.

“If you don’t have much to do, well, you wanna go meet them with me? I’m sure they’ll love another person to see with me.” Mark is now looking at Donghyuck, and there’s hope glinting in his eyes, and something akin to adoration, Donghyuck would know because Jaemin has taken pictures of him looking at Mark like that so many times before.

“Of course, Mark.”

“Come here.” Mark whispers, his voice low for only Donghyuck to hear as he grips Donghyuck’s elbow gently, maneuvering him along the throngs of people.

“There’s so many people here, God damn it.” Donghyuck curses to himself, hunching his shoulders in hopes to not end up bumping into so many people again.

“Yeah, that’s how Seoul is. It’s not as easy as Jeju, definitely even less easier than the school. You’ll get used to moving around here.” Mark reassures, helping Donghyuck to stand in front of him, before both his hands are light on Donghyuck’s body, guiding him.

“Where are we going right now?” Donghyuck calls out to Mark behind him, letting Mark carry him about as if he were a puppy.

“We’re gonna go take away some food if that’s okay with you. We’ll eat with the person I’m meeting with.” The reply comes as Mark then grips on Donghyuck’s shoulder, roughly moving him away from a bicycle oncoming.

Donghyuck stumbles slightly, hands moving up to hold onto Mark’s wrist, the older having an apology on the tip of his tongue, though Donghyuck beats him to it. “My hero.” He says in a mocking dreamy tone, and Mark bursts out in chuckles, shaking his head and continues to move Donghyuck about in between the streets.

They reach an area where there are more restaurants than clothes or merchandises, and more importantly, lesser people as the time is still too early for dinner but too late for lunch. Mark takes the lead and walks in front of Donghyuck, who follows behind him, shoving his hands into the front sockets of his hoodie and fiddles with his fingers. Donghyuck now only realizes how so out of element he is as he sees Mark taking steps he seems to have taken too many times to even bother looking at his surroundings to check where he’s at. Donghyuck, however, requires to look at Mark as his guide. He isn’t really used to this. He’s used to being a member and not a leader of something, of course because he can’t always be the leader in a group or club, especially in his younger years, but he isn’t used to being so docile with someone. Donghyuck almost scolds himself for it, until he reminds himself that he’s at a city he isn’t used to, and this is someone he is used to. In fact, it’s someone who genuinely wants to be with Donghyuck, and doesn’t find Donghyuck to be a bother. Instead of thinking too much about it, Donghyuck decides to allow himself to let things go as they should. He has two months here, after all. He’s going to need as much of Mark as possible before he gets used to the surroundings and can walk out and about by himself after Mark is tired of having to care for Donghyuck.

“Up here.” Mark says, going inside an opening of a building which leads to a staircase, and Donghyuck belatedly thinks about how there are so many staircases in Seoul.

Donghyuck trails behind Mark as if he were a duckling and Mark was his mother duck, following close behind him, even looking down to match their steps since Donghyuck is half-bored with just walking about the city and not really doing much. They arrive to the top of the staircase which is covered by glass walls and two sets of doors leading to two separate restaurants.

“Do you feel like having some grilled seafood or dakgalbi?” Mark asks Donghyuck, turning his head to see Donghyuck behind him.

“I’d really like some chicken right now.” Donghyuck replies, and his stomach growls, as if confirming his thoughts.

A blush rises to Donghyuck’s face through his chest, especially when Mark laughs at him so merrily, his face scrunching so adorably and his mouth open so widely. “Okay, Donghyuck’s tummy, let’s get you some chicken.”

There’s a tingle of a bell when Mark turns away from Donghyuck to open the door, and Donghyuck sees not a bell, but a wind chime by the door, hanging prettily with its glass and crystal balls knocking against one another. At the back of Donghyuck’s mind, he remembers how he used to collect wind chimes from different countries, placing them near his windows with his father’s aid since his small stature found it impossible to reach the height of the window and his father was worried he would fall and break a foot or the sort. His lips tug upwards almost automatically, and Donghyuck reaches up to cover it with the back of his hand, pretending as if he’s wiping remnants of drool from his lips.

“Ah, Mark! I was waiting for you to come around today!” Someone says boisterously from the back of the restaurant, and Donghyuck notices it to be the kitchen.

“Yes, ahjussi! I’m here today, and I brought someone along.” Mark replies to the voice, before he’s looking at Donghyuck, nudging his head for Donghyuck to step forward.

“Oh, is it finally a girl? You never bring anyone along.” Donghyuck feels a little awkward at the statement because he, painfully obviously, is not a girl, but Donghyuck simply chuckles as he shakes his head and bows a polite degree.

“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not a girl. Though I’ll take it that I am special to Mark hyung if he’s never brought anyone along.” Donghyuck says easily, and he sees the ahjussi by the kitchen’s entrance, smile and eyes shining as he sees Donghyuck.

“I think you’re better than a girl! Mark needs to bring some of his friends here more often. He looks less like a haggard with you here.” The ahjussi says to Donghyuck, walking about to an empty table, gesturing for the two boys to sit there.

“Please don’t say anything like that.” Mark whines to the ahjussi, moving in sync with Donghyuck to sit at the table. Mark takes off his jacket, placing it at the back of the chair as the ahjussi waits by the table for an order, but Mark eyes Donghyuck first. “I usually take two sets of the regular dakgalbi, and one set of the spicy dakgalbi. Which one do you want?”

“I think I’d want the spicy dakgalbi. Spicy food is always better.” Donghyuck answers Mark, resting his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbows on the table.

“Well, I’ll take it your regular order with an extra spicy dakgalbi?” The ahjussi asks the two, and Mark nods his head in confirmation.

“Also, add another diet coke.” Mark says, and the ahjussi laughs as he pats Mark on the back, before leaving the two alone at the table. “Mild tasting food is better.” Mark says suddenly, leaning back on the chair, shoulders slumped and he looks so much younger and free this way.

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at Mark’s proclamation. “You obviously have bad taste.”

“I wouldn’t say I have bad taste in friends, seeing as I’m here with you.” Mark replies in a heartbeat, and Donghyuck splutters, knocking the back of his hand against his mouth to stop spit from getting everywhere.

“Where did Mark Lee learn to be this smooth?” Donghyuck giggles, and Mark shrugs his shoulders easily.

“University’s a wild place. Y’know how it’s always easier there than in school.” Mark says, and Donghyuck hums.

“I’ve heard about it. It’s the norm, anyhow. I can’t wait until I’m living that kind of life, too. No more pressure on my shoulders to get straight As, no more doing extra-curricular activities for certificates and instead doing it because I like it.” Donghyuck says with a longing tone, stretching his arms up to release some tension from his body.

“You didn’t swim because you liked it? You always looked the best swimming.” Mark asks in surprise, eyebrows rising.

“I liked swimming, don’t get me wrong.” Donghyuck mumbles, a pout marring his facial expression. “But I would’ve liked it more if I joined something like the orchestra or the music club for singing, or even the theater.”

“Why didn’t you?” Mark questions in interest, and this is where Donghyuck decides to draw the line for his personal questions.

“Who’re we meeting with? Are you sure they’ll be okay when they see me? I’m someone new to them, y’know. I don’t think they’d let some random stranger into their house.” At Donghyuck’s words, Mark tenses slightly, biting on his lower lip almost anxiously in guilt.

“About that…” Mark begins, interlacing his fingers together into a joined fist on the table. “I didn’t want to tell you this because I kind of… really wanted you along, but uh, we’re meeting with a homeless person.”

Donghyuck’s brain blacked out at the statement. What are the odds of Donghyuck searching for his homeless father, only for Mark Lee, his friend, to want to introduce Donghyuck to someone homeless? The universe seems to have really had things planned out for the two, and Donghyuck curses it silently.

“A homeless person?” Is all that comes out of Donghyuck’s lips, and Mark begins panicking, so Donghyuck quickly controls his expression and body language. “I don’t mean it in a bad way, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well, yeah. A homeless person. I kind of met them around last year? They were sleeping at the Hongik University subway station. It’s normal to see homeless people in subways, but I just… somehow ended up sitting with him and talking with him, eating with him and all. He was just… for some reason, really charismatic? You’ll love him. You know my family isn’t exactly as well off as the other students in our school. We’re actually the most average family compared to the others, we might even be considered poor-”

“You’re not. Nobody cared about your family status. We loved you.” Donghyuck cuts him off, knowing full well that Mark, back in their school days, used to cry to Yukhei, his closest and best friend, about his lack of wealth compared to the others.

Mark gives him a shy smile, eyes flicking up with a glint of gratefulness in them. “Thanks, Donghyuck. Yeah, so, I couldn’t exactly get him a house and all, so I bought him a tent, and a sleeping bag, and now he’s living under a bridge with other homeless people.”

Donghyuck is in awe after Mark ends his story. He always knew Mark had a big heart. It was one of the qualities of him that attracted Donghyuck to be so enamored by him, but Donghyuck is also aware it was one of those that got Mark stuck in a sticky situation. He would know, because he’s seen the older as the middle person of an argument between Doyoung and Ten, their older seniors, because Mark couldn’t say no to any of their requests despite it possibly jeopardizing his status as class president at the time. However, Mark looks so happy to be talking about this man, as if he were his idol, and Donghyuck softens at the prospect of meeting someone so valuable to Mark.

“What’s his name?” Donghyuck asks, smiling now.

“Lee Youngho.”

Funny, Donghyuck thinks. That’s his father’s name.

They’re walking down the difficult steps that connects the under part of the bridge to the city of Seoul up there. Donghyuck’s palms are sweaty and he can feel his hands shaking slightly. He had managed to act cool in front of Mark in the restaurant, even asking questions about what Mark and his father had been doing without mentioning the fact that Lee Youngho is his father. Mark had been extremely happy to talk about him, his eyes glowing with a light that has Donghyuck almost recoiling in envy. He wishes he could be talking about his father as if he were his idol again, too, yet Donghyuck has been incapable of feeling any sort of positive or negative emotion towards his blood-related family for a while now. Instead, he nods his head when he needs to, laughing at Mark’s stories, and telling him how excited he is to meet the man.

He really isn’t. It’s too soon for Donghyuck to meet his father. He had wanted to prolong the meeting of his father until the end of his trip. He had wanted to look for his father but not actually go up to him, only seeing him when he had to go back to Jeju. He knew it was cowardly, but he didn’t really have the guts to face him. He didn’t know how to, and yet now he’s being forced to see his father with Mark because he’s an idiot and he wants to see Mark happy some more. It’s almost a selfish desire, but Donghyuck thinks Mark happy lights a little flicker in his soul, and he wishes to feel it a little bit more.

“Youngho Ahjae!” Donghyuck blinks at the word Mark uses to call his father, and he thinks it’s adorable how they seem to have a close relationship.

“Mark-ah!” Youngho replies, waving to him with a book in his hands, another male sitting beside him smiling almost a literally toothless grin.

“It’s been a while!” The male beside him says, and Mark nods his head.

“Mhm, university has been hectic lately.” Mark says, as he takes a seat in front of the two men on the ground, patting the empty space beside him for Donghyuck. “I want to introduce you to someone! This is my friend back at my old school, his name is-”

“Haechan.” Donghyuck says steadily, smiling as he sits down beside Mark bowing his head.

Mark raises his eyebrows at Donghyuck, aware that Haechan was the name Donghyuck would often go by whenever he’s trying to sneak out of the school premises and into the town near them, not wanting himself to get caught by the residents and be returned to school. He says nothing though, as he turns back to Youngho and the other man.

“Haechan, huh?” Youngho asks, and he looks at Donghyuck with a gleam that says he seems to recognize him, but Donghyuck holds his gaze steadily, strongly, almost challenging him, and Youngho’s gleam falters.

“That’s a name. We used to only have boring names back in the day. I’m Kyungjae.” The other man beside Youngho says.

“Well, it’s just a nickname, really.” Donghyuck says, as Youngho breathes in.

“I’m Youngho. You look like my son, y’know?” Youngho says, and Donghyuck is positive that his father isn’t sure it’s him anymore. He knows his father even after six years. His father wouldn’t be saying that to him if he thinks he’s his son.

“Oh, really? What’s his name?” Mark asks, curious, as he places a hand on Donghyuck’s thigh, and it feels almost like a warning.

“His name is Donghyuck, and maybe I’m biased, but to me he’s the brightest boy there ever was.” Youngho laughs, his voice sounding distant as he sighs, and Mark’s hand then squeezes Donghyuck’s thigh, but he realizes it isn’t a warning, but a gesture to ensure Donghyuck is okay.

“Yeah, you bet. Youngho can’t shut up about his children, especially the Donghyuck boy. I thought parents weren’t suppose to have a favorite child.” Kyungjae jokes, bumping shoulders with Youngho.

“I don’t have a favorite child, it’s just Donghyuck was closest to me.” Youngho says in retaliation, almost defensively as he bumps back to Kyungjae.

“I’m sure he was. He sounds amazing.” Mark says, and his tone seems to end the conversation there. “What have you been doing lately?”

“Oh! Well, I went to Han River a week ago, and I somehow managed to have the-”

Donghyuck zones out from the conversation then. He sees the people around him laughing, and so does he. He catches enough of the conversation to know his father went kayaking at Han River last week for free, and he knows his father’s been doing okay but the frostbite during the snows were the worst for him. Donghyuck remembers how his father had never been okay with the cold, often sleeping in Donghyuck and his brother’s bedroom on the floor with his pillows and blankets since Donghyuck’s mother would always refuse to turn off the air conditioning while Donghyuck and his brother only sleeps with the ceiling fan on.

Donghyuck sees how his father has grown older, too much older. It has been six years, yet the damage of it all is showing evidently on his face, though it seems like he hasn’t given up on everything just yet. It seems like he still has something to look forward to tomorrow. Mark had been right when he says his father is charismatic. He pulls people in with the way he talks, but it’s also the way he brings himself. Donghyuck realizes he never lost the dominant touch to him even when he’s homeless. He never lost his pride and the way he talks with his chin up, not ashamed of who he is today. He never had been ashamed of anything, and Donghyuck is taken  back to the times when he would tell Donghyuck to scream and cry, thrash about if he needed to if that would make Donghyuck feel better about something that made him angry when he was seven. He remembers when his father had been the reason his confidence was high and he stood tall, he remembers why he’s so adamant in constantly challenging people, provoking them because Donghyuck always believes in himself, thanks to his father.

Even after all this while, Donghyuck realizes he will always look up to his father, no matter what his mother says about him.

They’re walking back home after they’ve had dinner with Youngho and Kyungjae at a nearby seafood place, with Donghyuck treating them all with the black card his mother gave him earlier this year once he reached nineteen years old. They all parted ways after they ate, with Youngho and Kyungjae returning back to the bridge and Donghyuck and Mark having to walk to a nearby bus station since it’s too late and both boys are tired to walk the numerous blocks back home.

It’s quiet with Mark, and Donghyuck is sure Mark has questions floating about in his head. However, Mark isn’t asking them - yet, he assumes. Donghyuck is grateful towards the older, humming a song as he slides his arm over to Mark, looping it around Mark’s elbow. It’s something Donghyuck used to do often back when they were in school and they stayed back together to study. Mark lets Donghyuck hold onto him whenever he’s sleepy or simply clingy in general, and Donghyuck has taken advantage of Mark’s invitation more often than not.

“Today was great.” Donghyuck speaks, and Mark hums in agreement.

“It was. Youngho Ahjae looked really happy to see you.” Mark says to Donghyuck.

“I guess. He did say I look like his son.”

“I would’ve thought you were his son, especially with how similar you two are in terms of personality.”

Donghyuck swallows silently at Mark’s statement. This is a Mark thing. Mark lures people in to tell them something he’s dying to know like this, has them wanting to talk about something, feeling like Mark is allowing them to with open arms, and Mark always has been allowing Donghyuck in with open arms. Mark has always allowed Donghyuck to whine to him, even if they just passed by each other in the hallways and Donghyuck decides to stick to Mark then to talk about his day. Donghyuck knows Mark will never mean harm to him, and he’s just curious, but Donghyuck doesn’t feel like bothering him.

“Weird, huh.” Donghyuck mumbles as they reach the bus stop, sitting down on the seats beside one another with Donghyuck’s head on Mark’s shoulder.

“Yeah.” Mark replies, and Donghyuck’s eyes flutter shut, the exhaustion from today finally kicking in after all of the nervousness he felt with seeing Mark and his father again.

Donghyuck yawns slightly, hiding his mouth on Mark’s shoulder, as he smack his lips together, tired. He now only takes note of how he didn’t really feel too tired today as he walked about with Mark, doing the things that would usually have him tired just thinking about it. He felt happy today. Even with his father with him, Donghyuck felt like things were slowly coming back to place, a routine that he hadn’t done in so long yet his body would never forget the feeling. He feels so in place together with his father again, and Mark was an added bonus with him. Donghyuck makes a mental note to call his mother soon.

Mark is in Donghyuck’s room, scrolling through his phone, a hand on Donghyuck’s thigh as Donghyuck cuddles closer to him, eyeing Mark’s phone. He’s scrolling through the comments of the video he’s watching, of a lyric video by a singer named John Mayer. It’s the second week that they’ve been in the guesthouse together, and they often stay in each other’s rooms with nothing much to do. Mark says he only sees Youngho every three weeks when he’s free, just because it’s their routine and he’d rather not break it. Donghyuck also knows it’s because Mark is someone who can’t keep being interested in something if he sees it everyday, so Donghyuck is more than just a little surprise that they haven’t went by a day without each other yet.

They’ve stayed in the guesthouse a lot, only going out to buy food and eat in restaurants, then rest at the guesthouse again. Donghyuck feels fingers coiling around his, and he knows it’s Mark’s because he’s the only other person here, but also because it’s Mark’s habit to do so with Donghyuck. Donghyuck thinks he can find a little bit of home in Mark as he sniffs Mark’s neck, smelling the familiar scent of Mark’s body wash and aftershave.

“You’re like a dog.” Mark says then, and Donghyuck nudges his hips forward in an attempt to push Mark off the bed, yet Mark stays put.

“I hate you.”

“Sure.”

Donghyuck knows Mark isn’t the only one who doesn’t believe that.

They’re grocery shopping today, with Donghyuck saying he’ll be the one cooking and Mark missing Donghyuck’s cooking. Donghyuck used to cook a lot back at their school, especially during the holidays. Whenever Mark comes back to school early before school reopens and the kitchen staff returns, Donghyuck would be the one feeding him, much like an owner feeding a pet. Although, now they’ve been at the cereal aisle for twenty minutes, and Donghyuck knows it’s his fault.

“Special K or Frosties?” Donghyuck asks, looking up from his crouched up position to Mark standing behind him with an exasperated look as he holds onto the trolley.

“You’ve asked me that five times already, Donghyuck.” Mark sighs, head lolling to the side as his neck aches.

“Yeah well, you’ve only answered me three times.” Donghyuck says, sounding offending and Mark lets out a disbelieving chuckle.

“Frosties.” Mark answers, and Donghyuck pouts.

“What if I get fat from the sugar, though?” Donghyuck asks him with genuine concern, worried about his body weight.

“Trust me. You’d still look as pretty as you are now.” Mark answers him without missing a beat, and Donghyuck grabs the Frosties and a box of Lucky Charms at his reply.

“I know you love me.” Donghyuck says, wide grin as he gives Mark’s cheek a small peck.

“Whatever lets you sleep at night.” Mark says with a grin of his own, rolling his eyes playfully.

“You can ask.” Donghyuck says to Mark, his toes knocking against Mark’s calf.

“Ask what?” Mark asks, confused at the others sudden statement.

“About my father.”

“Oh.” Mark stops there, tilting his head as his head starts thinking. “I was curious before, but now I just don’t wanna pry with you.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes at this. Typical Mark. “I’m literally giving you the green light to ask me, Mark hyung.”

“Are you sure?” Mark is careful, knowing full well that Donghyuck rarely talks about his family with anyone.

“Yes.” Donghyuck says as he eyes Mark with that same confidence radiating off of him in waves. He isn’t ashamed, he isn’t scared to say anything to Mark right now. Mark isn’t sure whether it’s just a show he’s putting on, or he actually does have some trust in Mark now.

“What was he like back then?” Mark asks instead.

“Hardworking.” Donghyuck says immediately, and suddenly his mouth won’t stop talking. “He used to be the best father ever, and I think he still is. Mother usually says he isn’t the best husband, but she never denied it whenever I counter and say he’s the best father. I guess adults have it differently. He used to work day and night, though. He only takes breaks whenever it’s a special occasion. Like a birthday or a special school day. We don’t see him around often at home, but we see him on television and magazines a lot. He does interviews often. He always has this regal air about him, y’know? He’s like a noble. Contrary to what a lot of people think, he wasn’t born from a wealthy family. I was, but not him. He actually started his company with only like, what, 50 USD? He worked his ass off for it. He never let it down. I don’t really know how he met up with my mother, they don’t talk about it often but he told us she caught his heart the second he saw her. He said it was a love at first sight kind of thing, even though I think that’s fake, but he really loved her. I don’t know what went wrong with them, really - or him. They were fine, and one day I was being sent to the school and they were announced divorce. Y’know what’s even shittier? I found out when I was eating dinner alone at the school’s dining area. The television is always on, and there they were, divorced with full child custody being given to my mother.”

“Can I be honest?” Mark asks gently, fingers fleeting on Donghyuck’s toes.

“Yeah.” Donghyuck answers, his toes twitching at Mark’s touches.

“You sound like you don’t know much that happens with your family.”

Donghyuck gives him a smile, one that reaches his eyes and soul, but one that screams sadness. “We were never allowed to. Our parents had walls so high up, even higher in front of their children. We had to be perfect.”

“ He called me. He told me you met up with him, but you said you’re Haechan and not Donghyuck. ” Donghyuck’s mother says through the phone, and Donghyuck sighs as he looks at the Sun just rising from the horizon, and then looks at Mark, sleeping on his bed soundly.

“Yeah.” Donghyuck says, not knowing what else to say.

“ Why? ”

“I guess it came from not knowing anything and freaking out. It’s not like you guys ever tell me anything.” It comes out bitter, the sadness from his conversation with Mark from a week before resurfacing.

“ Do you know why he’s homeless now? ”

“No.”

“ He gave up all his money to make a trust fund for you four. I called him an idiot and we had a huge argument about it. We could’ve made the trust fund together, yet he gave it all up for you four. I love all four of you, don’t get me wrong, but you have to admit it was unbelievably stupid of your father to do that. He gave away everything in the blink of an eye. We were okay after we divorced, but that whole trust fund thing really screwed up my view of him. ” She sounds genuinely disappointed in her husband, and Donghyuck lets out a sigh.

“What view of him did you have?”

“ Someone I can trust. I trusted him not only with myself for a long while, but I also trusted his brains. I knew he wouldn’t do anything rash, but that was just- Besides, people thinks it’s something dumb to get riled over, but it’s just- I loved him. And to see the man I loved crumble down and give up everything- It was just utterly disappointing and shameful for me. I wanted to be there, but he looked like he didn’t want me there anymore, like everything had ended. Not even a fragment of friendship stayed. ”

“Sounds tough.”

“ It had always been. Talk to him yourself. I don’t know him anymore. ”

Donghyuck realizes that his parents had always known each other, but Donghyuck has never known them. For his mother to say that, Donghyuck thinks maybe his father had changed. Maybe it was just that Donghyuck never knew him before to realize that. His heart pangs with guilt, and he stands up from his seat near the window.

“Father.” Donghyuck greets, opening the tent of his father, where the man is already awake, eating leftovers from yesterday when Donghyuck and Mark came to visit.

“Little donkey.” Youngho says, smiling as he looks up to his son, patting the space inside the tent.

Donghyuck enters the tent and closes it from inside, sitting beside his father. It’s awkward, to say the least. Donghyuck isn’t sure what to say or do.

“I guess she called you. I told her not to.” Donghyuck’s father laughs joyfully, yet softly, shaking his head. “She never listens to me, especially if it concerns her eldest son.”

“She never listens to anyone.” Donghyuck shrugs, and Youngho nods, not even bothering to disagree.

“A hard headed woman, she is.”

“So, I wonder why a hard headed woman sounded so broken and disappointed talking about you.” The words come out more spiteful than ever, and Youngho flinches, wincing.

“I never told her, but well. My parents died a year ago, before I decided to open up the trust fund.” Youngho begins, and he holds up a hand before Donghyuck can say anything. “I wasn’t in a good state. I think you could understand that, at least. My head was chaotic. I always lived for my own family, but I lived for my parents too. You know how much I did for them, and how much they did for me to grow up to be who I am now. That’s why I can still stand proud, because I never want to be ashamed for the foundation they’ve given to me. When they died, it scared me too much. I thought about the day you would lose your mother and I, how you would have nothing. They left me nothing, too, in terms of wealth, but they left me so much love. I’m aware I couldn’t give love to all of you anymore, so the least I wanted to do was a trust fund. I’m not broke. I have enough assets to let the trust fund exist until you need it and even until I die, but I’m just not touching it for you.”

“Is it bad if I tell you that I don’t feel any remorse right now?” Donghyuck says, and it isn’t to mock or be disrespectful, just his genuine feelings.

“No, it’s not. It isn’t meant for any of that. I just wanted to explain myself to you.” Youngho smiles then, a smile that’s so free and wild, so bright and radiant. “It feels better now to be able to say it out loud.”

“Thanks for the trust fund and thank you for telling me.” Donghyuck says to his father, and he pats Donghyuck’s back.

“Of course.”

“I don’t understand why you did it, y’know? It still doesn’t sound… sane, or right to me. It just sounds dumb.” Donghyuck says then, and his father purses his lips.

“You’ll understand it when you grow older, maybe. You’re only nineteen after all.”

“How much more growing do I have to do?” Donghyuck sounds exasperated, and it’s because he is.

“Donghyuck, I got fucking scared! Where were you?” Mark asks, as soon as Donghyuck comes back to the guest house, and Donghyuck collides himself onto Mark, causing them both to tumble on the bed.

“Thank you, Mark.” Donghyuck says, leaning up to peck Mark’s nose.

“For what?” Mark says, puzzled at the younger boy suddenly.

“Everything.”