Chapter Text
The first time it happens, Kakeru is trying to confess.
“Haiji-san,” he starts, and his voice is already awkward. He doesn't know why he's doing his now, really, or why at all- Haiji is in front of him, hands on his knees, catching his breath.
“Sorry, give me a bit, Kakeru.”
They've been running all morning, long enough for even Kakeru to feel exhausted - he thinks about the run home (dreading) and opening the door to Aotoke (gently, so it doesn't fall apart again), sitting at the breakfast table with two freshly awoken twins and a grumpy Yuki (predictably chaotic), and eating whatever miracle of a meal Haiji has managed to conjure together (amazing).
His stomach grumbles.
Haiji starts to stretch.
Kakeru stares at Haiji's legs, the lean muscled plane of them, the cut of where his running shorts meet his thigh for at least 20 seconds straight. Kakeru's mouth salivates, enough for him to realise and mentally berate himself for it.
“Yes, Kakeru?” he hears Haiji reply, and then all of a sudden he's up at face level again, doe eyes big and brown and blinking curiously. Kakeru is hit with the reminder that Haiji is ridiculously pretty - there's something about the way that he's looking at him now, with eyes anew with inquisition, an ever present slight smile and bangs swooshing in the wind that makes him immediately want to find wall, press Haiji against it and capture his mouth right there.
Why the fuck are you so good-looking, his lizard brain screeches, urges him to say.
“Uh,” he says eloquently, instead. “Want to go another….” he gestures awkwardly at the pavement in the distance, makes a little circular twirling motion with his finger.
Haiji laughs. “You trying to kill your senpai now, Kakeru?”
More like kiss, lizard Kakeru thinks, taunting him. Kakeru grimaces before he can control his expression.
Haiji doesn't seem to notice though - or maybe he does, but chooses to ignore it. “Alright then, let's go then. the others won't be up until another half an hour, anyway.”
Kakeru starts to panic a bit - he doesn't actually want to go for another round, even if he loves running with all his heart, because he can tell Haiji's pushing his knee too far to try to appease him - but Haiji's already getting ready to run.
“Wait, Haiji, I-”
“Haiji? No -san? Where's the respect, Kakeru?” Why does he look so cute when he's teasing?
“Haiji-san, I--”
“That's better, why not ‘Haiji-sama’ while we're at it?” Haiji says, half through a laugh and half through a nonchalant hum of his voice. When Kakeru stares at him, embarrassed and going red, Haiji just blinks at him and tilts his head like a bird, smiling. “Sorry, had to. What were you going to say?”
This is it, Kakeru thinks, without lizard interference, for once.
He clears his throat.
“Haiji….-san,” he starts, gently, trying not to let his voice go thick with nervousness and emotion. Kakeru looks up to check Haiji can't already hear the infatuation dripping from his words, and calms a little when he sees just sees friendly patience written on his leader's face. “I need to tell you something.”
“Okay,” Haiji replies, and suddenly the mood has shifted - his shoulders are squared and the bird like tilt is gone, replaced with doe eyes that catch his, watching.
Kakeru's throat starts to go mushy and tight with anxiety despite his willing it not to and he kind of wishes Haiji went back to the teasing just so he would stop feeling like he was on the brink of choking.
“I….uh. Well,”
Blink blink blink.
There's an eyelash on Haiji's cheek.
“Well. You see, I…”
The sky behind Haiji's head is going dark and grey, the colour of the buildings on the cover of Kakeru’s sociology 1101 textbook. It might just rain soon.
Blink blink blink.
Kakeru is aware of Haiji's concerned frown, but only vaguely, because he goes to look away.
tell him you dreamed about asking him to marry you last week.
“I-- damn it!” he snaps his hands towards himself, to his face, and now they're there he can feel the rapidly rising temperature of his skin. Kakeru rubs at his eyes, furiously, before Haiji places a hand, gently, on his wrist.
“Kakeru, is everything okay?” his voice is so soft - Kakeru has always liked Haiji's voice, but in the moment it's like his syllables are a syringe directly injecting adrenaline straight into him, his heart threatening to break out of his rib cage and fist fight him into verbal competency. A very small part of Kakeru starts to want to run away, but he doesn't. “Kakeru, you can tell me if something's wrong,” there’s a pause. “I’m here for you, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Kakeru replies without thought, because it's true: and once his mouth is finally open he can't stop, “Yeah you are, and it's one of the reasons I like you, and I-- you're so kind and sometimes you look like a deer, because your eyes are so big and you're so pretty, I keep on wanting to kiss you, I--”
Kakeru initially isn't sure whether he stops talking out of inhibition or the fact he's realising his words make him sound like a creepy admirer who goes rustling through Haiji’s underwear draw while he sleeps.
But then he takes his hands away from his face, and that's when he realises that Haiji has gone bright red, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.
Haiji lets out a little involuntary squeak. It might damned well be the cutest sound to ever be made.
“A deer?” is all Haiji says, his voice squeaky and wavering.
But Haiji is smiling through it, giddy and embarrassed and nervous.
It triggers something within him, he thinks, because suddenly he's answering through a laugh, “Yeah,” and then pulling Haiji toward him by the hip, slotting their mouths together.
Haiji kisses him back, slowly, hesitant, clumsy as if he's googled how to kiss and is re-enacting the steps one-by-one.
His kisses are so chaste, as if he was kissing the hand of royalty, light and almost polite ; Kakeru takes a moment to crack open an eye to watch his expression, just to see --
His eyebrows are furrowed in adorable, slightly nervous concentration.
Kakeru resists the urge to scoop Haiji up and squeeze him breathless - it’s so endearing, especially coming from him - Haiji Kiyose, mysterious, good-at-everything, tongue-in-cheek, confident, unfaltering Haiji. It’s a version of Haiji he’s never seen before.
And Kakeru is already craving for more of it.