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The ship cruises at warp, everything under control for the moment as it sails through the void of space to its next destination. Captain Pike stands from the command chair, about to migrate to his ready room, where he will work on some reports and do some brooding.
“[Y/L/N], send those readings to my ready room,” he orders before heading to the turbolift.
“Yes, Chris,” you reply, your mind so absorbed in the sensor data in front of you that you’ve absentmindedly called your Captain (and as of recently, your lover) by his first name.
You freeze, suddenly realizing what you’ve said. You feel everyone’s eyes on you, including Captain Pike’s, his body now turned to you, his mouth slightly agape, unsure of how to respond.
You feel your face flushing, the hot rush of pure, unfiltered embarrassment surging through you. “Captain. Yes, Captain,” you utter, correcting yourself, but it’s too late. Everyone has heard you, and everyone is looking at you. Some are hiding amused smirks, others have raised eyebrows, but no one looks particularly shocked. Mostly, their hearts go out to you. It’s an embarrassing situation.
Captain Pike nods to you, keeping his composure as though nothing has happened. “Saru, you have the bridge,” he states, before disappearing onto the turbolift.
You, however, can make no such escape. You have an hour left until your scheduled break, and it will be one of the seemingly longest hours of your life. You man your station, trying to channel your feelings into the data in front of you, your body feeling compelled to run for the corridors, but you keep your feet firmly planted. You have a job to do.
After an hour that feels like an eon, you are relieved from your station to take your meal break. You avoid eye contact with the others on the bridge, all your friends and crewmates, but still. You’re mortified. You know it, they know it. No need to draw more attention to it.
You board the turbolift and as soon as the doors close, you breathe in sweet relief at being out of there. Whew.
*** Shortly ***
You sit alone at the mess hall table, eating your lunch. You have your meal breaks at off-peak times, so there aren’t too many people in the mess hall with you. You’re just happy to be off the bridge, but you know they all must be up there, thinking about you, exchanging looks. You’re pretty sure people already suspected you and the Captain were… Involved. It’s hard to keep secrets on a Starship, especially involving the Captain himself.
In reality, no one minds you being together. In your mind, though, you’re playing out the worst possible scenarios… The Captain gets reprimanded. You get demoted back to Ensign. Or transferred off the ship. What if you can’t be together? You feel like you were just starting something incredible. You haven’t felt this way about someone in ages…
“[Y/N]. May I join you?” Captain Pike appears in your field of vision, snapping you out of your dismal thoughts. When did he come in?
“Ah. Captain. Yes. Well, actually, I was just… I’m done, I have to go. I’m so sorry,” you stumble, not able to face him right now.
The Captain glances down at your half-eaten meal tray, raising his eyebrows, about to try to make you feel better but you’ll have none of it. You take your tray to the mess receptacle and place it inside, glancing apologetically at Christopher as you hurry out, practically knocking someone over as you bumble out the doors.
You feel really bad. You shouldn’t have left him there, running out on him like that. He’s your Captain, what if he was going to say something about the mission? That could be seen as insubordination. But you’re sure he understands. Does he, though?
You walk the corridors until your break is over, your half-eaten lunch not nearly enough to fill the giant pit in your stomach. You return to the bridge, facing again the knowing looks and counting down the seconds until your shift is over…
*** Later ***
Well, that was the longest day ever.
You get ready for bed, crawling partially under the covers and propping yourself up with pillows so you can read on your PADD. Your eyes scan the story you’re reading to try to take your mind off of things, to ease yourself so you can maybe get some sleep.
You hear a beep at the door to your quarters. Your heart sinks, and you don’t move. Is it the Captain? Maybe he’ll go away? Do you want him to, really?
Another beep. Maybe it’s Tilly or Michael coming to check on you. The whole ship probably knows what happened by now…
Another beep. They are persistent. “Come in,” you state, and the doors open to reveal a tall, broad-shouldered figure. It’s Christopher. Captain Christopher. No. Stop it.
You get out of bed, walking over to meet him. “Captain,” you state in greeting.
“We’re off duty [Y/N]. Call me Christopher.”
You feel your face flushing as your earlier embarrassment rushes back, the pit in your stomach returning. You cover your face with your hands; you can’t look him in the eyes. You feel his hands come to yours and pull them away from your face, revealing your beautiful, rosy cheeks and uncertain eyes.
Christopher’s expression is one of amusement, he’s teasing you, but he realizes how upset you are and decides not to push it. His hands let go of yours and come to rest on your hips, and his eyes scan you, admiring you in your silky pajama top and shorts. His thumbs trace over the soft fabric; he can’t believe how beautiful you are. He likes seeing you out of uniform and with your hair down. This is his favorite side of you; the soft, sweet side that’s only his, if you want to be, that is.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day. You can’t hide forever you know.”
You look into his eyes, searching for the words to explain yourself but words fail you right now. You just keep reliving that moment, everyone’s eyes on you. You’ve had embarrassing moments before but this one is really up there…
You bite your lip, your hands coming around his shoulders as you look up at him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to… It just… I don’t want to get you in trouble. Our relationship…,” you mumble to him, trying to explain yourself, Chris’ blue eyes studying you as you do so.
“I mean, not that we’re in a relationship. If that’s not what you… I mean… Um…,” you stammer, not wanting to seem presumptuous. You’ve only been seeing each other for a short time, and you know where you want things to go, but does he? What if he doesn’t want the same thing?
Christopher’s hands come to your cheeks and he cups your face, looking you tenderly in the eyes, cutting you off to save you from yourself. “[Y/N]. Is that what you want? A relationship?” he asks, just waiting on your response to kiss you like he’s wanted to all day.
You look at him in confusion, unsure of what to say. Moments pass.
“It’s a simple question,” he states, a smirk on his lips. Teasing you, as usual. Is it simple, though?
You swallow your fear and decide to be completely honest with him. “Yes. I want… That. With you.” So eloquent. Really.
Christopher’s smile widens and he beams at you, more than pleased with your response. No guessing between the two of you. Things will be easy, straightforward, no games.
“Okay then. I’ll file the relationship notice to Starfleet in the morning,” he states, and before you can comment, he leans in and kisses you, his warm lips meeting your soft, stunned ones, his hands holding you in place. You lean into him, forgetting your earlier ordeal as waves of reassurance wash over you. Everything is going to be just fine.
You kiss passionately, finally pulling apart, Christopher’s hand coming to brush the hair away from your neck and he leans in to kiss the spot he’s learned drives you crazy. You close your eyes in bliss as he kisses your neck, trailing reaffirming kisses up to your earlobe.
“For now, why don’t we make this relationship even more official, hmm?” he whispers in your ear, sending shivers of anticipation throughout your body. Yes, please, Christopher.