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The first time Jamie has a nightmare she doesn’t know that’s what it is. She wakes with a start in her bed with the sensation of falling, it takes a moment for her body to realise that she isn’t falling at all but safe in her bed aboard the Thousand Sunny with Tsukiko and Robin sleeping soundly not five feet away and the comforting sound of Nami’s feet tracing the deck above. She doesn’t sleep though, her mind still reeling from whatever had happened in the dream.
The first one to notice the next day is Sanji, he notices everything when it comes to the women aboard the ship and instantly asks questions about her supposed lack of sleep,
“I just woke up randomly and couldn’t get back to sleep” Jamie says waving a hand dismissively, “I’m fine really”
Sanji it seemed didn’t take much convincing, either that or the intervention of Roronoa Zoro complaining about the food on his plate was too much of a distraction. Jamie was very glad for his intervention even if she wasn’t entirely aware of the rest of her feelings for the green haired swordsman.
The next few times Jamie had nightmares she knew exactly what they were and she went to great lengths to disguise her tiredness in the mornings so as to avoid more awkward questions.
She was glad to be able to take on night duties, to occupy her mind with something else and keep those dark thoughts at bay. Of course that could only work for so long as well before the nightmares came unbidden even in her waking hours. Visions of her father on a navy execution block, the crowd booing and jeering him for helping pirates, the swing of the axe, blood, the crowd cheers. She gasps for air each time it happens and pretends everything is fine. She prays no one notices.
Of course living in such small quarters someone was bound to notice. The dark circles under her eyes, the way she looked so tired but refused to sleep but what could anyone do? If Jamie didn’t want to tell them what was wrong they couldn’t very well confront her about it or indeed help. It wasn’t until after a declaration of love and one very confused swordsman that anyone got to the bottom of what was happening.
Jamie had taken to roaming the decks of Sunny at night instead of sleeping. She would sit in the aquarium and watch the fish or go up onto the deck and be alone hoping that the night air would clear her thoughts and she’d be free of the terrible thoughts, it hadn’t worked so far but maybe it would. One day.
“You’ll catch cold up here on your own” Zoro’s voice came from behind where Jamie was standing near the prow, she didn’t turn around but she heard his footsteps across the deck and a pair of warm arms wrapped around her,
“I couldn’t sleep” she said simply, “came up here so I wouldn’t disturb anyone” Jamie leant back into Zoro’s solid mass and found him much more comforting than the dark ocean and cold moon,
“You haven’t been sleeping for a while” he says more as a statement of fact that a question, “why?”
Jamie doesn’t answer, she doesn’t want anyone to know. Doesn’t want them to think her weak or scared or anything else,
“I’m fine really”
“You aren’t” Zoro turns Jamie in his arms so they’re facing one and other, “tell me what’s wrong”
He brushes a thumb across her cheek and waists for a response. Jamie can’t face him, she buries her face into his chest and breathes in the scent of him,
“I … I’ve been having nightmares” she finally admits, “it’s stupid I know but they won’t go away”
“So you’ve chosen not to sleep then?” he asks softly, “doesn’t seem like a good idea to me”
“Then what else can I do?” she asks, the strain of not sleeping finally catching up to her as Zoro sees the woman in his arms come apart. She doesn’t cry but again it seems she’s forcing herself not to.
Zoro huffs and instead of an answer picks Jamie up and carries her back to the girls room over his shoulder, depositing her back on her bed. Before she can ask what he means by all this he climbs into the bed next to and wraps a steady arm around her waist.
Zoro is warm and solid in the bed next to her and his other hand touches her wrist to feel her pulse,
“Feel yourself breathing. Be aware of it” he tells her softly, careful not to wake the other women sleeping nearby, “breathe in and be aware of your lungs Jamie raises an eyebrow but does so, “now breathe out and feel your lungs compress again”
Jamie follows Zoro’s instructions taking deep breaths and feeling her chest expand and contract with each breath. Zoro stays the entire time and guides Jamie through her breathing. She can feel her heartbeat slow and the images that had been flashing behind her eyes seem to dull and vanish with every intake of breath. Finally he seems content with her heart rate and takes his hand from her wrist,
“Breathing? How did that even work?” she whispers,
“It centres the mind and focuses it on something else, can you sleep?”
Jamie was about to protest but the yawn that threatened to rip her entire face in two answered for her. Zoro grunted something as he adjusted them in her bed to make it more comfortable and before she could even count to ten Jamie was asleep and without nightmares.
The next morning while the girls were getting ready for the day Tsukiko mentioned how odd it was to wake up to see Zoro in the room but that he must have been there for a reason,
“Is everything alright Jamie?” she asked tying her obi, “you’ve been having trouble sleeping recently haven’t you?”
“I have” Jamie answers, “but I think i’ll be ok”
“It was nice of Zoro-kun to come and help you sleep. I know when I can’t sleep and I’ve got awful nightmares I’d love for someone to come and sleep next to me and tell me everything’s going to be ok”
“It would be nice to have someone like that” Robin agrees, “someone who cares for you enough to make sure the nightmares stay away”
“After Bell-mere died Nojiko and I used to share a bed and we’d tell stories to help each other sleep and keep the nightmares away” Nami says, “sometimes it really does help having someone with you”
Jamie doesn’t say anything but in that moment she’s so glad of her friends and of Zoro and she promises herself never to keep anything from them again. No matter what it is.