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Back and forth, Elizabeth paced nervously within the confines of the stone room, darker and colder than her ethereal home. Even so, there was a feminine touch here: trinkets on a ornate white vanity, plush bedding, flickering candles and bouquets of lavender. Most feminine of all was the vampire princess, perfecting her already flawless complexion in a body length mirror. Every few seconds, she’d dab powder along the length of her neck, undoing and redoing her braid into a perfectly symmetrical bow. Elizabeth got anxious just watching her: while Gelda had already gone through at least ten ribbons that Elizabeth couldn’t tell apart in color (they were slightly different shades of red, Gelda insisted) the goddess had hardly cared to focus on her appearance of all things.
Elizabeth has remained politely silent as she observed the other girl getting ready. But as minutes slipped into the beginning of hours, she could no longer hold her anxious tongue. “Aren’t you afraid to go to Purgatory.”
Gelda narrows her eyes in the mirror at a particular unruly curl in her hair, restarting the style with ever-moving, delicate fingers. “No,” she responded.
A huff blew passed Elizabeth’s lips. “Aren’t you afraid it’ll be… well… hellish?” she relented, lacking better description.
“Once you’re familiar with the land, it’s not scary. Particularly if you’re an honored guest, as we are. You’re invited to counsel, Elizabeth. Nothing bad will happen to you,” Gelda reassured, kindness layered under her stern tone.
“Well, yes.” Elizabeth further relented, “But, they could be lying-”
“So what if they are? I’m familiar enough with purgatory’s ins and outs to escape if it came to that. Not that I’m expecting to have to.”
“Are you?”
“Of course,” Gelda chided lightly, “I’m betrothed to rule there. You should familiarize yourself with Purgatory as well: one day, you’ll rule the celestial realm. It’s best to know your enemy’s land as much as your own.”
“I don’t want any enemies!” Elizabeth corrected, voice cracking an octave in nervous desperation. The idea of someone seeing her as an enemy had her hairline flushed. She desired to be loved and to love all others in a world of peace and harmony. Even the demons, though her skin shook and prickled at the very term.
“You’ll never make everyone happy,” Gelda sighed, brushing her hands along the bottom of her gown as she finally seemed to finish perfecting herself. Elizabeth blushed at the words: it was as if the other girl was in her head. “It’s best,” Gelda continued, “to be prepared for the worst. If the clans are at peace for all of your reign, that would be lovely for you. But you must assume they won’t be.”
“Is that what your taught here?” Elizabeth notes sadly.
“Of course it is. The vampires are rarely friendly with any clan for an extensive amount of time. Hopefully that’ll change somewhat-- when I take the throne instead of my father-- but who knows.”
“Why wouldn’t they want to be friendly with you!” Elizabeth wistfully pondered, “You’re so kind and smart, you’ll make Edinburgh such a lovely place when you’re queen.”
Gelda’s cheeks dust pink under pale, and she keeps her eyes hyperfixated on the silked bottom of her gown for a few moments before seeming to compose herself. “I’m glad you think so.”
Elizabeth finally halts her nervous pacing, throwing herself backwards onto the large bed, feathery wings twitching beneath her. Her mind continues to wander, however, to Purgatory. A frightening place she’d heard about in scary stories and late night warnings. The celestial realm dared not to speak its name, fearing that doing so would bring misery and bad luck. She listed internally what she knew: monsters, demonic foot soldiers who were large and unintelligent and lusted for blood. How there were horrific curses put on unwanted visitors that slowed down time for millenia per minute. Places so hot they’d melt skin off bones, areas so frigid it froze the blood within veins. Endless agony, persisting madness--
“Your mind is wandering,” Gelda hummed, “We’re invited guests. Only those who are unwanted in the realm suffer its consequences.”
“How do you do that?!” Elizabeth huffed.
“Do what?”
“Read my mind like that!” Elizabeth sat up with a whine in her voice.
Gelda giggles, an action Elizabeth has never seen her do outside of these private moments. Gelda never bared emotion in public: it showed a lack of composure, she’d been told. But here, in the private of her room, she broke for Elizabeth. Elizabeth lips tug upwards at the thought. “Well,” Gelda hummed once again, “you’re quite obvious in your thoughts. All your expressions cross your face as you feel them.” She seemed to ponder the observation a bit longer, “you’d make quite a terrible liar, if you ever tried.” Gelda concluded, a tease in her voice.
Elizabeth agreed with that conclusion: she was not a liar. Such an idea rarely crossed her: the celestial realm didn’t have patience for sin, dishonesty being high on the list. Her mother didn’t have patience for sin. Through her childhood, she’d been bombarded with the ideals of moral superiority over the other races. Particularly the demons: everything her mother stated they were (dishonest, cruel, lustful, bloodthirsty), was everything Elizabeth was trained not to be.
“How will we get to the demon realm, anyways?” Elizabeth wondered out loud.
“Portals.” Gelda stated simply, “We have one in the throne room. Most of the clans that the demons are…” she hesitated, “allied with do.”
Elizabeth leaned forward, putting her chin in her hands. “I’m still so… nervous,” she confessed, “I’ve been told such horrors--”
“Such false horrors.” Gelda corrected.
“Either way. This is the one place I’ve been raised to… well… despise.”
“Elizabeth,” Gelda approached her, tenderness in her voice, gently tucking a strand of the Goddess’s silver hair behind her ear, “What were you first raised to think about me?”
Elizabeth instantly cringed. She understood the other girl’s point but, well… her childhood stories of the vampires, while lesser than the demons, were just as unpleasant. She recalled the tales from her mother and her tutors: that they were monstrous, blood-sucking leeches who shifted form in the night to become terrible, demonic creatures. While some of Gelda’s clan made Elizabeth wary, they were hardly all the terrifying beings from her childhood nightmares.
“Even so,” Elizabeth persisted, “What if Purgatory does have some terrifying, giant monsters?”
“Then we kill them.” Gelda stated, monotone and deadpan.
Elizabeth sharply inhaled at the very idea. Of course, she knew defending herself would lead to such a thing. But the idea of that act, done by her, stated so bluntly out loud.
“Or, rather,” Gelda quickly backtracked, eyebrows furrowing as she watched the other girl, “I will, and you will protect yourself.”
What a tempting offer. Yet, Elizabeth feels an ache of something in her chest, that makes her wish she could be more of use. More confident in her ability to be… powerful. But she had long accepted that she didn’t thrive in battle as others did. She was a healer, a supporter. If it came to killing or showing mercy, she’d never stop doing the latter.
“Don’t be afraid,” Gelda whispered, breaking the girl from her thoughts, “It’s time to go.”
-~-~-
The portal is dark and foreboding, leaving Elizabeth immediately with cool claminess on her skin, coating her palms, alongside an accelerating heart. Gelda’s hand is in her, reassuringly patient and yet persistent in pulling her forward. It’s what Elizabeth needed: the support combined with the push to go on.
The darkness of the portal swallowing her being feels as if she’s jumping into frigid water. Elizabeth swears ice shoots through her veins, her claminess turing to shivering goosebumps that freeze over and oh no she’s dying, the rumors were true, the cold is this intense.
Then she’s panting on the ground, on her knees in the darkest soil she’s seen, indigo and black and violet hued. It’s night, she noted, disoriented.
Gelda’s voice broke through her trance: “Easy enough, right?”
Elizabeth minds her surroundings. Its real, and I’m here within it. Breaking her situation down to the bare essentials felt best. If she took a breath, let the air (not frigid now, thank goodness) expand her lungs and the ground feel solid beneath her, she can focus. And if she can think in this moment, a non terrorizing moment, clearly, then she could take one step at a time and get through this evening. Yes! She cheered herself on internally, I’m okay. This is okay. Everything’s okay, and if it isn’t, Gelda is here. She repeats the simple phrases over and over until they become unwaveringly confident within her mind, spreading warmth in her body, allowing her tight muscle to unlock.
Gelda offered her a hand, gentle and welcoming, a soft smile tugging at her lips. How grateful Elizabeth is for her presence! She couldn’t have come alone, and yet she doesn’t have many friends in the other clans. Slowly, she attempted to meet the leaders of the fairies, the giants, even the human kingdoms. But Gelda is her first true friend outside of the celestial realm, and she’s overwhelmed in the moment by how grateful she is for her presence not only now, but in her life overall.
She reached for the hand, the color of faded moonlight in the darkness.
As she attempted to stand, a tremor shook the dark ground beneath her. An earthquake? Were these the natural disasters, plentiful as she was told they’d be?
The tremor passed and began again. No, it’s not an earthquake: there’s a rhythm to it. Both the women immediately turned to face the source.
Elizabeth wasn’t prepared. In fact, neither was Gelda.
There in front of them, shattering the earth of purgatory, breaking open Hell itself, trembling the unsteady ground beneath them was…. A pig. A large pig. A very large, very green pig.
This was it. These were the monstrous demons she’d been told about, the ones that haunted her nightmares. She swore she could hear Gelda calling her name, but it sounded so far away. The world was spinning, and all she could focus on was the giant pig in front of her.
And yet… she felt no fear. Her body was frozen to its spot, dizzy and disoriented, her senses failing her. But no, she was not afraid. She felt… She felt the need to approach the pig. Not to do it-- her-- harm but something… more.
The world around her was darkness, and this pig was a blinding light. She walked forward subconsciously, forgetting her purpose in being here. All she knew is in this moment, she wanted to be more like this pig. And in the moment she wished for that outlandish dream, her dainty fingers caressed her face and found it to be a reality. For on her face’s center was no longer her small, delicate nose: no, she had the snout her heart had so suddenly longed for. But while her body shifted to become her desired form, her heart still yearned. It pushed her forward, forward. The light was no longer blinding, but warm and inviting.
The giant pig and she met eyes, exchanging a glance that could’ve lasted an eternity. She felt them connect on a level no one had reached within her before. Slowly, the ginormous mammal opened its large mouth. Oh, Elizabeth thought to herself, in complete acceptance, she’s surely going to eat me now. And yet, she was at peace.
This pig… was all she needed in life. She let the desire envelope her completely, until all that surrounded her was light, love, and the feel of her own snout beneath her hands.
-~-~-
The ground is solid beneath Elizabeth once again. She woke with a start to the newly familiar land: purple hues, dark sands. This was purgatory, surely. She’d made it here. But the pig…
“You’re awake,” Gelda stated. Elizabeth met her eyes, seeing the girl cross legged beside her.
Elizabeth gives herself a moment to blink the wariness from her eyes. “What-”
“I let you rest for a bit, since we had some time to spare. You passed out nearly as soon as you saw the giant pig.”
“I… I what?!” Elizabeth shouted, now very awake, high pitched and shrill. She sat up, blood rushing to her head and causing dark dots to coat her vision.
“I suppose you were afraid, it is a rather… large monster.” Gelda shrugged, unbothered.
“Where did it go?!” Elizabeth nails bit into the inside of her palms, head waving from side to side as even from the ground she prepared for another beast’s approach.
“I used my Inferno to scare it off… or perhaps just bother it. I truly don’t know how powerful it was, but the sight of the explosion made it leave for now.”
Elizabeth let out a sigh of relief, before finally remembering the more terrifying aspects of her dream. “My… my nose?!”
“Your… nose?”
“It’s back to normal!” Elizabeth shed tears in her relief.
Gelda, meanwhile, observed her as if she’d gained two more heads. “It… has always been normal? Has it not?”
Elizabeth, though, was too thrilled at the turn of events. In moments her wings had her upright, fluttering in joy as she launched herself into the vampire’s arms, burying herself in happy relief. Gelda took seconds to react, shock and warmth rushing in her veins. Slowly, her arms came reassuringly around the Goddess, trying to give comfort with slow strokes of her back. Though Elizabeth was too buried in her jubilation to note, Gelda smiled.
Meanwhile, in the distance echoed a low, far-off “Pugoh”. A squeal so ominous and foreboding, it resonated through Elizabeth’s soul and laid claim to it. An impact so profound one almost knows that somewhere beyond Purgatory, far away in time and space, a young lesbian (El)izabeth of the future may find it… oddly sexy.