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I remember the first day I saw you. Sitting by yourself doing nothing in particular and you had a smile on your face for no other reason but just to smile. It annoyed me.
There was no reason and I didn't bother looking for one. I hated seeing you smile when you didn't need to. Hated how you would even smile when others would treat you like trash.
Why? Why do you smile so much? What is there to smile about?
I remember the first time we met. It was after school during a nice crisp day and I just couldn't wait to get home. I stopped in my tracks when I heard voices followed by laughter coming from behind the school building.
I let the noises lead me to the source despite better judgement, it would just be a bother, but something in me told me I had to.
There, I heard your wipers and saw you laying on the ground. You no longer had that smile that I disliked so much. Instead in its place was bloody and bruised lips followed by dirty tear stained cheeks. I hated this look more. You didn't look you. So bright and full life.
The two bigger boys kept kicking you over and over never easing up. But still you refused to scream. You tried your hardest to hold it in but I could see you were in so much pain. I felt your pain.
And before I knew it, my body just moved on it's own. Next thing after that the two boys who had you on the ground started running away crying for their mommies. Typical. Always ready to play big bad wolf until someone knocks you down.
I faced towards them for what felt like hours to make sure they didn't come back and when I felt confident they wouldn't I turned towards you. “So small.” I thought as you just stayed on the ground curled up in a ball.
I laid my hand on your shoulder gently as possible so I don't seem like a threat. Feeling you flinch by my touch ran through my entire body,
I remember telling you my name so I would not seem as a threat. Saying softly as I could without the anger and frustration pouring in my voice for those who made you seem so fragile.
“I am Damian Wayne, and you are?”
“Jon Kent.” you said back to me as you steadied you head up. We sat in silence after offering our names to one another as I stayed with you until your parents came. When they did and took you home I felt a tightness in my chest along with a fear that I knew not of then that I would never see your smile again.
I remember the first time your smile finally did return.
You returned to highschool like nothing happened, like everything was okay. But I knew that it wasn't. You weren't smiling. Well not like you use to.
I pushed it to the back of my mind. I didn't want it to be more trouble than I could handle, but it was killing me. So when I saw you alone standing by your locker ready to cry I subconsciously grabbed your hand and began to run. My body moved again because of you and I did not know where it was taking me, where it was taking us, nonetheless I let it lead.
And you never let go.
When we eventually stopped I turned to look at you expecting to see the look of confusion or anger on your face, instead I was greeted with leaves that looked like a crown in messy tousled hair, a twinkle in your eyes that would make any sea jewel shake with jealousy, and a smile much bigger and brighter than before. A smile that was just for me.
I remember that was also the day I fell so deeply in love with you Jonathan Kent.
“Wayne! Hurry up the captain wants a word with you.” Damian hears the roaring holler another soldier threw his way. He gets up from the chair he made himself comfortable in and walks passed the soldier in silence to head towards his captain's quarters.
He comes in and stats his presence not a moment to soon. “Sit down Wayne let us have a little talk. I have a job that only you can do. Only question is, what are you willing to do for this war son?”
“I am willing to do whatever means necessary sir.” Damian responds.
“Excellent decision.” the captain says with a blood curling smile on his face.
Damian remembers the day he signed up to join the military. Thought he could do some good for his country and his home. Jon didn't want him to go. It would be to dangerous he said. It would be fulfilling was Damian's only answer.
If he knew then what he knows now Damian would take it all back.
Damian strongly believed that he could handle the effects of war and come out of it alive. He is alive but the cost so more than he could carry. The people he had to kill, the ones he couldn't save and the ones he chose not to all for the benefit of this never ending war.
He watched each of his team members take bullets to the head and lay dead in the mud with the light in theirs eyes going out leaving nothing but a hollow stare that will haunt Damian for as long as his heart was beating.
It was never ending. Even when he was in a safe space of his, whether it be in his sleeping quarters or away from the battle field and tactics, the sonance of war never left his ears.
The only true peace he ever got was the memories of his beloved back home waiting for him. His smile that Damian could never forget even if he wanted to.
He longed to hold Jon in his arms. To never leave his side again. In spite of that, he knows that Jon deserves more than a broken man.
So without hesitation, Damian accepted the mission given to him by his superior, only the thought of Jon in his mind. Damian joined the military to serve his country, now he only does it for the person he cared for most and that raided his thoughts everyday.
It was all for him.
Jon, do you remember when we told our parents about us and how you were scared of how they would react. After you announced our relationship nothing but silence was hanging in the air. Then, laughter and cheers erupted the room.
Our parents made a bet behind our backs to see which one of us would say anything. My father won of course. I told you before we said anything to them that it didn't matter what they think and I wouldn't care if they disapproved, but in truth I was overwhelmed with nerves. I didn't want to lose you. And yet even feeling all that I still stood by you to become the rock you needed at that moment.
I guess there was no need to worry. Your parents welcomed me with open arms and my father did not second guess to call you family.
I remember all the firsts we had. I recall every one in my darkest times because you are the lighthouse that helps me through it. Always there to guide me when I cannot see what path I am on.
If you are receiving this letter Jon then you know I won't be coming home. I am truly sorry I couldn't keep the promise I gave you and I wish I could hold you in my arms once more. To see that smile I use to hate but fell in love with.
Please never lose that precious smile Jon. Even through tears and hardships, please keeping smiling.
I will always remember our yesterdays. Hold them close to me like a shared secret. Because they were our firsts. Belonging only to us.
I love you Jonathan Samuel Kent Wayne.
Sincerely, Damian Kent Wayne.
“Jon, it's time.” Mr. Kent walks in the room to see his son reading a letter with tears in his eyes. Jon didn't want to believe this was happening. None of this is real. Try as Jon might he cannot will away reality. His husband was not returning home. Was not returning to him.
Officially, Damian was a hero who ended the war. Unofficially, in order to end the war both sides needed a sacrifice. Damian was the best choice in their minds. A good soldier like no other.
When Jon was told of Damian's death he felt like the world stopped. His world stopped. After receiving Damian's letter it took everything in Jon to open it. When he did, he reread the letter over and over to the point he had it memorized.
Even though it felt like he was dying and how he just wanted to be with Damian he kept his promise to keep living. To smile through the tears.
Because he'll always remember yesterday. The yesterday he lived and loved with his darling.