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English
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Published:
2019-04-02
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930
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1/1
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Give Your Heart and Soul to Charity

Summary:

“When I was young-”

“And when was that,” says Noctis sarcastically, “like a thousand years ago?” Ardyn is struck with a sudden coughing fit, for seemingly no reason, and Noct looks at him flail about for a few seconds.

Notes:

shout out to neo :o)

Work Text:

Again, Noctis can’t sleep. He knows he should- they’ve got a long day ahead and these sleepless nights have been catching up to him. Next to him, Prompto is fast asleep, tufts of hair sticking out from his head at odd angles. Unlike Noctis, he looks peaceful.

The truth is, running around and slicing up demons all day and night, he’s been able to keep it mostly at bay, but everything that’s happening… it’s just a lot. His father’s death, the lies he told... nothing about his life can ever just be simple, can it? What’s going to happen to him? Does he even have a choice?

Briefly, Noct considers waking Prompto. But that would be selfish. He looks so calm, and this is the kind of worry, so raw and close, you can’t tell a friend. It’s something you tell a blank page, or an empty room- or, he thinks, glancing at the silhouette outside the camper, a stranger.

He checks his watch- 3 am. He’s not falling asleep anytime soon; might as well get some fresh air. Everyone else is asleep, and Ardyn’s weird, but he seems okay. At the very least, he’s helping them get to the Archean, and that’s got to count for something, right?

Gingerly, Noctis gets up and makes his way to the door, trying to open it as silently as possible. Out in the parking lot, Ardyn is sitting on his car, facing away from him. At first it seems like he hasn’t noticed him, until Noct finally steps out and closes the door, and Ardyn taps the hood next to him by way of invitation.

Well, okay. He’s kind of hesitant- you don’t just sit on a guy’s car- but Ardyn gestures again and Noctis finally hops up beside him.

“Why if it isn’t the young prince… or, ah, it would be king now, wouldn’t it? My apologies.” He doesn’t look very sorry. Noctis kind of hates him then, a little bit. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Noct shakes his head. “How about you?”

“I don’t really…” he gestures vaguely, “sleep.”

Noct stares at him for a minute. “Wait. So why the fuck did you make us stop?”

Ardyn nods back towards the camper. “Well, you and your companions looked like you needed it,” he says, and Noct has to admit they haven’t been getting much rest lately, but still. “Also, I wanted some fries.” Ardyn licks his fingers. “So what’s keeping you awake, your Majesty? Care to share your worries?”

Maybe it’s how tired he is or maybe it’s the feeling in his chest, aching for a life he’ll never have, but it comes out in a rush, more honest than he meant to be. “I don’t- I don’t want to die.”

“We all die,” says Ardyn, and there's a hardness in his voice, suddenly, that wasn’t there before. “But in the meantime, you might as well have some fun.”

Noctis shakes his head. “It’s not that easy. I’m king now, Cor told me, I need to fulfill my role. It’s the will of the Astrals. Otherwise…” Sickness. Death. Eternal night. “I can’t even just go home.”

“Yes, yes, we’ve all heard about that business.” Ardyn lies back, his head hitting the hood of the car with a thunk. “Well, listen. When I was young-”

“And when was that,” says Noctis sarcastically, “like a thousand years ago?” Ardyn is struck with a sudden coughing fit, for seemingly no reason, and Noct looks at him flail about for a few seconds.

Eventually, he recovers enough to continue. “There used to be more stars in the sky. Did you know that?”

“Yeah. It's the light pollution, right? Even back in Insomnia, they're way less visible than they are here.” Noctis squints up at the night sky. So far from the city, it's almost dizzying. You can see every constellation. “I’ve never seen them look so bright.”

“Imagine it, then,” Ardyn says, “as it was- as it must have been, at the dawn of times. Too many stars to count, against an inky black sky. Like… diamonds on velvet.” He pauses. “Eternal night… Tell me, would it be so bad?”

It's not something Noctis has ever really stopped and thought about. “It must be, if they want me to stop it.”

“There is beauty in this world the gods would have us lock away and forget, Noctis. For fear that we might find meaning beyond that which they bestow upon us.”

He’s probably full of shit. But it’s a nice thought.

“It's not fair,” Noctis says, and Ardyn snorts. “Oh? Don't you trust in the will of the Astrals, they of infinite wisdom? Isn't that what your father taught you?”

“I don't know.” And then, petulant, because it's true and because no one's around to hear him say it, “I don't care what they want.”

The man barks out a laugh, not at all unkind but with a hyena-like quality that’s a little bit startling. “Somehow, you’re not at all what I expected.”

Noctis raises an eyebrow. “What does that mean?” He’s aware, in a distant, abstract way, that there is a public perception of him, and of course people from all over are attending the wedding, but somehow Ardyn hasn't struck him as one of those big royal fans.

“It's just… Mm...” Ardyn hums, thoughtful. “At first glance you remind me of someone. And yet…” He pauses. “Decidedly not, at the same time.”

“In a bad way?” Noct blurts out, before he can help it.

Ardyn stares at him for a long time before speaking. “No.”