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Buck knows his heart is beating in his chest rapidly, thumping against his rib cage as he grabs Chimney's phone from the ground. He runs back inside, choosing to focus on the phone instead of his shaky hands and rapid heartbeat.
Thumbprint, a fucking thumbprint, of course, Buck grabs his bag from the dining room where he was still sleeping and pulled on a white shirt, stuffing the phone in his jacket pocket.
"I want to go to the hospital, to see Chim," he tells them, in reality, he wants to look for Maddie, to beat Doug's face in, to find his sister. But he can't- he has no leads, he needs to get away with this.
"Yeah, I'll take you" Bobby offers, and he turns away, and Buck follows, sweaty hands in his pockets, his left latched on to the phone for dear life, hoping that the detective or Athena doesn't notice.
The drive to the hospital makes Buck feel like his skin is on fire like he's getting farther and farther from where he needs to be, with Maddie, helping her and getting his sister back. Instead, he's going to Chimney.
Buck's eyes aren't filled with tears anymore as he enters the hospital and asked for Chimney's room. He ends up getting there quick enough.
Buck starts to press Chim's hand to the bottom of the phone. A nurse rushes in, "Sir you can't be here!" She says, panic rushes through Buck and he leans down, covering the phone and pretending to sob.
"Chimney!" He cries out, he feels the phone vibrate and unlock in his hand, and he pulls off with the nurse, leaving quickly.
He rounds the corner right into Athena, Bobby and Detective Jackass.
"You Know, Detective Marks didn't believe me? Said no one could be that stupid. And I said 'you don't know Buck'". Athena says, Buck cringed, body heating up with embarrassment.
Athena tugs the phone from his hand and drags him down to the hallway, pushing him down on to a bench, shoving the phone in her purse. Buck's chance is gone. And he barely hears what Athena is scolding him for over the racing of his heart.
It's been almost a half hour when he sees Eddie enter the room. Buck feels his chest spark and his stomach feels weird, this always happens when Eddie is here. He wants to get as far away as possible and as close as he can.
Buck so pathetically just wants someone to hug him. He would literally accept a hug from anyone at this point, even some random nurse.
Eddie squats in front of him like he's about to scold a toddler and Buck feels so goddamn stupid, he stole police property and got caught. So fucking dumb.
"That was a bold move," Eddie says simply, and it's true, and it was a stupid move goes unsaid between them, but they both know it's there.
"Yeah." His voice cracks, eyes filling with tears, his sister is missing, Chimney was stabbed and now Eddie is probably angry, so is Athena. "Yeah. I know "what were you thinking Buck?" He sighs, feeling shame run through him, and he doesn't quite know why.
Buck looks at Eddie, daring at his lips and eyes, he knows his own are red-rimmed, but he didn't expect Eddie to look so sadly at him, not with pity, he just looks so sad. Buck wants to reach out, grab his hand, hug him, sob into his shoulder but they don't do that, they've never done that. He wants Eddie to place a hand on his back or his thigh, shoulder, arm hand or anything but it's not gonna happen.
"I'm still not sure how you thought you'd get away with it though," Eddie says, moving his body to fully face Bucks.
It's silent for a moment. "I wasn't worried about that. It's like police have all these rules, you know? Rules that are gonna get Maddie Killed" Buck says finally, his eyes filling with tears at the thought of Maddie dying. He wants her back, safe with him, not out there with Doug. "But I'm a civilian, those rules don't apply to me, right?" Buck asks.
Buck knows what he wants Eddie to say, that he's right, that he should search for Maddie, not listen to the police, that he was right to take the phone. "Then why are you sitting in hospital jail" it hits like a snack in the face.
Buck feels that same way again, wanting to be as far away as possible and wanting to be as close as he can to Eddie.
Wanting to be with his sister or staying here is a no brainer. He wants to be with his sister, he wants to know where she is, he wants to help, he wants to see Doug behind bars. But you can't always get what you want until you do.
Eddie places a hand on top of Buck's shoulder, ready to speak again before Buck finally snaps. He lets out a loud sob, making Athena and Bobby turn. Eddie grabs at him to keep him from doubling over on to the floor.
Eddie cradles Buck head into his shoulder, the other hand wrapped around his waist, Buck is practically in his lap, crying and feeling his body fill with fire.
He sobs and Sobs and Eddie just runs his hands over his back and through his hair. "It's gonna be okay, Buck. Maddie's gonna be okay. I promise" Eddie whispers, they both know it means nothing, the promise but it's still there.
"I'm not gonna leave you" Eddie whispers, digging his own head into Buck's neck, they're wrapped around each other now, Buck's hand clutching Eddie's t-shirt and the other hand around his shoulders.
"Not ever. I can make that promise. I won't ever leave you. Not ever." Eddie promises into Buck's neck, his face is wet with tears he didn't know had come.
"Good. I don't want you anywhere but right beside me" Buck says softly, leaning his head against Eddie's.
Maddie isn't safe, Doug is with her and she could be dead, and Buck isn't there with her, and he has no idea where she is but for right now, here with Eddie's arms holding him together, he knows that this enough for now.