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A familiar and delectable scent filled her nose, and the warm blanket wrapped around her nearly pulled her back to sleep had her stomach not decide that she needed to eat what she smelled. Sitting up on her bed, she stifled a yawn as a palm rubbed the sand out of her eyes. The smell of vanilla made her lips twitch as she lazily and reluctantly unfurled the sheets from her body. The cold air made her shiver, before she pushed herself off her soft, welcoming bed.
A longing for her warm sheets welled up as she shuffled her way to the kitchen from the bathroom, and a grin melted onto her lips as she spied a rack of cooling cookies resting on the counter. Her fingers went to pinch one, but a hand playfully smacked them aside.
“They’re still hot, give them a few minutes.” A soft chiding voice rang out from behind the counter, and she pouted as he gave her a shake of his head in mock disapproval. “I’ll pack them for your band practice later.” He relented as she continued her relentless assault of pouting. She cheered for a moment before he set a plate of bacon and waffles in front of her, and she thanked him for the meal as he sat himself opposite of her, a similar plate of bacon and pancakes pulled from the oven behind him.
Taking the opportunity to sneak a peek at him, she found herself once again lost in his dark brown eyes that were focused on his cutlery. They moved to the cut from when they had first met that had left a small scar under his eyebrow, something so minute only her enhanced vision could spot, and it had healed significantly over the past few weeks they had known each other. His eyes glanced at her, questioning her staring as she nonchalantly started pouring a cup of coffee for herself.
“You don’t have to do this.” She tried to talk him out of it once again as they ate, trying to cover up the silence and occasional clinking of cutlery. His eyebrow quirked as he continued to eat, chewing on a piece of bacon. “Isn’t inconvenient for you to come over every morning to make me breakfast?”
A huff of amusement left him, making her slightly annoyed at his enjoyment. A glare made his grin flatten, and he realised that she wanted to have a serious conversation.
“I wake up too early every morning, I always have a surplus of ingredients at home, I love cooking and I live across you just two doors down.” He pointed out, and her eyes glanced at the clock hanging on the wall to see that it was only 6 in the morning. “That’s just on my end. You, on the other hand, have a bad habit of going out at ungodly hours, not getting enough sleep, skipping breakfast and to my knowledge only have two meals a day at best, have an understocked kitchen and a spot in a band that has spontaneous and random practices that makes you busy along with a part time job. Coming over to help you make breakfast, and cleaning up afterwards, as well as waking you up because I got too much time on my hands is not that inconvenient. You also agreed to this a few weeks back, hence why I have a key to your apartment.”
An awkward silence descended, as she struggled to think of a way to salvage the conversation. She had not intended for him to make so many valid points, and her plan of slyly asking him out was smashed into bits. Not that she minded, her heart always fluttered whenever she thought of asking him out, the very idea of being closer to him addicting to her. She gave him her key initially to help her with moving her stuff to her new apartment, as he was the only familiar face who she felt comfortable asking for help. She jokingly told him that he could come over whenever he wanted, as an underhanded way to try and ask him out, but her nerves got the best out of her as she continued to explain her lifestyle as an excuse to have someone to come over occasionally.
Little did she know that he would take it seriously and start coming over every morning to prepare breakfast and frequently bake some snacks for her to bring to her band practice.
His thoughtfulness and kindness were some of the qualities she fell for, and his bluntness and honest nature were at times difficult to deal with. Such as the conversation they were currently not having.
He finished his breakfast before her, and his lips were pursed as he brought his empty plate to the sink.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like an ass.” His apology was heard before the faucet started. He would usually wait for her to finish before cleaning up for the both of them, and the sudden change made her heart strings twist in anxious worry. Would he stop coming over just because she wanted to ask him to stay with her in a roundabout manner? Would he start to avoid her?
She could beat down giant lizards multiple feet taller and bulkier than her, hack into some of the most secure systems in New York, leap off buildings with no worry, yet she struggled to deal with her emotions.
Her body decided for her, and she brought her plate to the sink, laying it beside him before she wrapped her arms around his torso. His body froze and seized up into hers, and she could feel his arms moving to push her before he stopped himself.
“It's my fault.” Her heart was pounding in her chest, each palpitation shaking her core as words struggled to escape her. “I wanted to ask you to… to come and stay over. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” Her cheeks warmed as she spoke, and the sound of pouring water silenced as he turned the faucet off.
His breathing was the only thing she could hear, and his fingertips touched her hands.
“What are we?” A sudden surge of courage pushed through into her, encouraged by his lack of negative reactions. “Are we… friends?”
His chest rose, holding in air for a moment before he exhaled.
“Friends don’t have keys to each others apartments.” His gentle voice mirrored the hands that pried her arms off. “I thought we were close, never really thought much about it.” He turned to face her, and she could see the confusion on his face as his brows furrowed. “Where are you going with this?”
Her lungs expanded with a shaky confidence, before she spoke.
“I want to be in a relationship with you.”
His dark brown eyes blinked. His brows furrowed more before his lips went into an O. His cheeks darkened as his eyes averted from her as seconds ticked past them.
“I… um… don’t know what to say.” He fumbled with his words, and the absurd reaction just made her giggle. “I’ve never been in this position before.” He confessed as his hand went to hold onto his elbow, making his large frame seem meek and shy as he hung his head to avoid her gaze.
“A yes would be perfect.” A teasing grin formed upon her lips as she stepped towards him, and his insistent avoidance of looking at her couldn’t be indulged further as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She could feel the breath from his lips just barely reaching her face, and his entire face craned to look down at her after a few seconds.
“Then, yes.” He muttered. He turned his head to the side shyly immediately after, which provided the perfect opportunity for her.
She pressed her lips into his cheek, before releasing herself from him. A je ne sais quoi of his embarrassed look made her laugh, as she went to grab her bag. Almost in sync, her phone went off.
“We’ll talk more about this tonight, I promise.” She assured him, before answering the call and leaving her apartment with her heart pounding non-stop as she skipped down the hallway. The little snarl in the back of her mind reminded her of reality, and the decision she had in front of her.
Her feet skidded across the floor to a halt, before trudging along.
Her eyes darted about in her dark apartment. A surprising offer that her father had found, a cheaper alternative than paying rent with one of her bandmates in an apartment a few times more expensive than this one. The low price was due to a recent murder in the apartment, something to do with an affair if she recalled correctly from her father’s messages.
Pulling off her mask, she scanned the apartment one more time to make sure no one was in it before she gingerly made her way to her room. The nightlife of New York outside buzzed as she tiptoed across her apartment. The living room had a plate of cookies sitting on the small table in the center, and a smile fought its way up her lips as she went to grab one.
“Back already?” The soft voice made her jump, and she glanced back to see him lying on her sofa, his silhouette barely visible in the dim lighting.
Shit.
He got up, and yawned slightly, arm moving to rub sleep out of his eyes.
“Um I’ll go shower first we’ll have that talk later ok bye!” She gushed while rushing to her room, hoping he didn’t see her costume in the dark lighting.
Her door locked behind her, and she leaned against it as her fears rolled in her mind. If he knew, it would mean that he might see her in a different light. The man who helped her in one of her darkest moments after returning from the multiverse fiasco might walk away after finding out about her identity as Spider Woman, a title that had the blemishes of murder and vigilantism smeared across it. The thought of the person who constantly helped her from the beginning of her downward spiral leaving her cracked her heart, yet a whisper in the tidal waves managed to reach her.
‘If he wanted to leave, he would have done so a long time ago.’
A singular crutch of confidence amongst the endless barrage of doubt stood out, and she clasped onto it with desperation as she hastily washed herself.
The smells of warm cinnamon and chocolate made her stomach grumble in need as she left the bathroom, and she peeked her head out to check right before tossing her suit into her rooms laundry basket. Faking a cough to cover the clattering, her heart hammered as she walked to the kitchen. His eyes shifted from the cookies to her, reigniting the fears within her.
“You ok?” Her jaw quivered from his question, and her hands held him at bay as he tried to approach her. The blood pounding her head would be from the many punches she took, and the bruises that were slowly forming, but she knew that the pain was not physical and was only manifesting as such. Adrenaline still fresh in her veins, she took a leap.
“You saw, didn’t you?” His silence didn’t tell her anything, neither did his fidgeting eyes. She needed to know, she couldn’t lie to him, she didn’t want him to be near her-
“Yeah.” The panic rolled into a dense ball of fear, and sank to her abdomen.
“How long?” Her whisper didn’t seem to reach him, and her arms shook as he held on to them.
“Why does it matter?”
“How long!?"
Her scream did not dissuade him, encouraging him to tighten his grasp on her.
“You always leave when something on the T.V pops up. When a disaster breaks out in Brooklyn, when Long Island had that infestation of lizard monsters, when that supervillain broke out of prison last week.” Her blurred vision cleared ever so slightly when tears fell, and the strength in her arms evaporated when he started rubbing circles on her forearm.
“Back in school, you disappeared for four weeks with no trace, before you came back with a totally new haircut. Your father said that you were away on a vacation, but no one even knew of your plans.”
She didn’t even register him approaching her as his arms wrapped around her, and his quiet whispers of soothing encouragement only made her cries harder. Her shaking body was cushioned by his own, and her arms clutched at him tightly as she sobbed into his shoulder.
“It must have been hard on you.” Fingers repeatedly ran through her hair as she gradually calmed down. She could only nod and take deep breaths to calm herself as he held her.
“Do you want to talk now? Or do you need-” His comforting voice was cut off by the shake of her head. Her lungs shuddered uncontrollably as she opened her mouth.
“I- I want to talk now.” She hated feeling vulnerable, yet he didn’t seem to mind, and hummed an assurance to her that he would listen.
“I… I didn’t want you to know. I thought I was keeping you safe if you didn’t know. Thought that you wouldn’t want to be with a killer.” Her voice quivered, and the memories of Peter’s last words made her seize up. Guilt and panic shot through her, and her body stiffened up as tears threatened to break through again.
“Shh, shh, you’re alright, you’re here with me now, no one else but you and I.” His attempts at soothing her didn’t relax her, but it certainly helped to ground her to reality.
It was painful to have him so close when she knew that he would be leaving her soon.
“I killed Peter Parker.”
Those words made the hand that was rubbing her back freeze, and she winced in anticipation of the rejection.
A moment passed.
The hand continued.
“And?” The voice still remained calm, and she couldn’t find a hint of malice within that singular word.
“You don’t hate me? Aren’t you afraid of what I can do?” Her incredulous tone only seemed to make him amused as he laughed, and she could feel the booming sound from his chest.
“You’ve had every opportunity to kill me for the past few months, and that’s after I met you back in school. Why would I be afraid of my friend who can’t even plan her meals properly?” The teasing nature of his voice reminded her of the dynamic between them, and a part of her felt embarrassed for even forgetting about it.
“If you would, please tell me everything.”
His gentle voice lost the mischievous tone, and her arms held him tighter. She would never find someone else like him. She could not lose him.
Her covers were warmer than usual, and felt more comfortable. She snuggled deeper into them. She didn’t want to wake up.
“Gwen.” The quiet whisper seemed to come from above her, and a gentle breeze tickled her hair. “Get up.”
Her incoherent mumbling only made the voice sigh, before a finger poked her cheek. She blinked, eyes still adjusting to the light, and her covers tightened ever so slightly.
“I need to go to work, Gwen.” The air then gained a certain warm stench to it, and she cringed at the putrid smell before the sight of Allen’s face only inches away from her own made her jump.
He chuckled at her, before pushing himself off the sofa. Her long string of apologies only made him laugh harder as she retreated to the bathroom. Her disheveled appearance glaring back at her made her groan into her hands, but the muffled voice that told her to have some of the cookies before the door shut made her smile.
He accepted her, and listened to her when she need it. He made her feel heard, and gave her a safe space to vent and cry and be vulnerable when it felt like the world was against her. She only had her father prior, and even then it took him aiming a gun at her for him to listen to her side of the story. His choice to retire was meant for her to keep her secrets to herself, so she could not tell him all of her struggles.
Her father’s radio from her room sparked to life just as she left the bathroom feeling refreshed.
“-armed robbery on Linden Boulevard-”
A surge of energy raced through her as she changed into her suit, and a small smile grew on her lips as she glanced at her mask on the window sill, held down by a single chocolate chip cookie.