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As a child, Namjoon is obsessed with The Little Prince. Every night, he lies down on his bedroom floor and looks up at the skylight and wishes he could see stars, wondering if they are even real. He thinks, maybe there is a little boy on an asteroid, in love with a flower, leaving home to discover the universe.
He reads the book, over and over. And that, along with watching the Disney version of Peter Pan too many times, and reading The Story of Hong Kil Dong almost every night for a year straight, means that Namjoon, a child, never wants to grow up. He doesn’t want to become one of those Adults that the Little Prince meets. Wasting their lives, doing boring Adult things. He looks at his parents and he thinks that they try, they still smile and they still tell him stories and they still play, so maybe it’s not every Adult, and maybe he’ll be okay.
But Namjoon still doesn’t really want it. So he clings to his dreams, and his imagination.
;;
In middle school, Namjoon is obsessed with Korean folk tales. Dragons and green frogs and brothers and myriad of small, contained stories with a very clear moral. They’re tales for kids younger than he is, but he ends up writing essays about them anyway for extra credit whenever he can, and fills his bookshelves with them at home.
He starts writing his own.
;;
Namjoon discovers Jules Verne when he’s a teenager, and decides he wants to become a writer, as a serious career and not just a hobby. He wants to tell stories like these, to captivate and blow people’s imagination wide open, send them to the moon and 20,000 leagues under the sea and everywhere in between. It gives him the chance to keep using his imagination and allow it to flourish instead of squashing it like so many adults do, and turns out, he’s got a bit of a gift with words.
It doesn’t feel too early to know what he wants to do with his life.
;;
When he’s 22 years old, Namjoon meets Kim Taehyung at a house party, and his life is shaken inside out, upside down, every which way. He’s pretty sure he falls in love in the time it takes for them to walk back to Taehyung’s dorm. Taehyung’s walking barefoot on the pavement, jumping into every patch of grass they walk past, his sandals dangling from between his fingers. Taehyung’s an art history student, and Namjoon’s a literature student, and there’s a few years between them that seem to not exist when they’re talking. Namjoon asks Taehyung out that same night, and Taehyung says yes, wiggling his toes on the welcome mat of his building.
He’s only a few weeks older when they kiss for the first time, Taehyung uncharacteristically shy, his fingers curled into the collar of Namjoon’s nice button-down, the one he ironed just for this date.
He’s 23 when they move in together, in a shoebox of an apartment just outside of campus that Taehyung fills with plants and Namjoon fills the remaining spaces with books.
He’s 24 when he gets his very first publishing deal, and Starboy is born.
;;
As a children’s book author, Namjoon’s fame is relative. In children’s literature circles, he is lauded and appreciated for his inclusive, diverse books. Outside of that, no one really cares, which suits Namjoon perfectly. He has a popular series with Starboy, but no one really asks him where he’s got the idea from, and he guesses they always think it must be his way of honoring Saint-Exupéry.
And it is, in a way. But mainly, Starboy comes to life through Taehyung. Starboy is full of stars, his skin a galaxy, his hair a shock of blonde on his head. His form is only vaguely human in the illustrations he gets for the books, fluid and only tenuously gendered, and he has a myriad of friends, throughout the galaxies, to have adventures with. Starboy talks of friendship, and love, and consumerism, and loyalty, and grief, and family, and plenty more.
Starboy is gentle, to all living creatures. He is curious, passionate, and he laughs easily. He loses his temper sometimes, gets into fights, and gets upset. He’s emotional, his feelings close to his skin, but he’s also willing to learn, and he loves fiercely. Starboy, for all intents and purposes, is Taehyung, turned into an intergalactic superhero. For fifty pages at a time, he lives his adventures, saves worlds from global warming, learns about self-acceptance and Namjoon cares so much because he loves Taehyung with every fiber of his being.
It’s very easy to.
;;
Yoongi finds Namjoon out first. As Namjoon’s editor, he spends just as much time with the books as Namjoon does, but in a much more critical way. He dissects, asks too many questions, rearranges, takes out, demands that Namjoon add or subtract.
Namjoon’s on the phone with Yoongi when it comes out. “Why don’t you dedicate your books to Taehyung-ah?”
Namjoon stops in the middle of the street he was walking down, blinking. “I do,” he replies, cautiously.
“No, you acknowledge him, you don’t dedicate to him. Which doesn’t make sense to me. He’s your muse, isn’t he? I mean, I’ve met the kid like, five times, and I can tell he’s pretty much Starboy.”
“What does that have to do with the edit of the third chapter?”
Yoongi makes a little disappointed sound on the other end of the line. Namjoon knows he’s being cagey about this, but it’s not something he can help. He doesn’t really want to talk about it.
“Nothing, Namjoon-ah. Just wondering.”
“I’ll do the edits when I’m home, hyung.”
;;
Taehyung surprises Namjoon, for their anniversary. He stands behind Namjoon and slides a blindfold over his eyes, whispers in his ear, “Do you trust me?” which Namjoon does.
“Of course,” he replies without hesitation, and Taehyung’s hand slips into his own once the blindfold is secured. Namjoon doesn’t open his eyes, his heart beating violently in his throat the whole way to Taehyung’s surprise. There’s a part of Namjoon that wonders if there’s a proposal in his near future, but he tries not to think about that.
When they finally get to their destination, Taehyung undoes the blindfold and lets Namjoon take in the scene: they’re in the planetarium and it reminds Namjoon of the scene in Friends, which he’s sure is no coincidence, because he’s always talking about how romantic it is.
There’s a picnic blanket and a picnic basket and the stars are out over the dome, and Namjoon’s knees shake a little, he’s so overcome. He looks back at Taehyung, who's looking like he's twinkling under the stars, his eyes shining bright, and Namjoon squeezes his hand, at a loss for words.
"You always say you don't see the stars often enough," Taehyung says softly, almost like he's shy about it, and Namjoon's so excruciatingly in love he thinks he needs to propose, sometime soon. He can't bear the idea of not having Taehyung in his life.
"I see the stars every day," he says in answer, reaching up to brush his thumb right under Taehyung's eye. "Right here," he whispers. Taehyung grins, bright and boxy; he's always one to appreciate Namjoon's cheesy brand of romance.
"Anyway. Come feed me grapes and tell me which constellations are where," Taehyung says, leading Namjoon towards the blanket, diffusing the tension in the moment.
;;
Later, Taehyung tells Namjoon that he only got access because he's a very charming man, you see, and he made the right promises to the right people at the museum he works at. Namjoon just showers him with praise, because fuck if Taehyung doesn't deserve it, every day of his life.
They end up having sex right there, on the picnic blanket Taehyung laid out for them, Taehyung riding Namjoon with abandon. He’s the most beautiful man Namjoon’s ever seen, long fingers digging into Namjoon’s chest, head tipped back, slender neck bared, Adam’s Apple working as he swallows around moans.
His skin looks like it's made of stars.
;;
Jimin finds it out next, because he's Taehyung's best friend ('soulmate', they'd say) and he's in education and he's intuitive as hell. There is a pile of Namjoon's latest book in his and Taehyung's living-room, for Jimin to pick up and bring to school, and Namjoon's alone when Jimin shows up for them.
"Can I read it?" he asks, always polite, and, well, it's not like Namjoon's books are that long, and it makes sense that Jimin would want to know what he's getting his students to read. So Namjoon nods and grabs the top one, handing it to Jimin.
"Of course. I'll make you some tea!"
He prefers not to be around when people are reading his books - readings in libraries excluded, of course. So he busies himself in the kitchen, cleans up, makes some tea, and pretends he doesn't know that Jimin's just a few feet away, reading.
Namjoon - he loves his job. He loves what he’s able to do, that he can keep children’s imagination thriving, the way Verne and Saint-Exupéry did for him when he was younger. He loves having this chance to make an impact, something that can stay with them over time, just like it did for him. Namjoon clings to the child inside himself by writing. So he doesn’t mind when he’s reading with kids, who see this world he’s created with wonder and awe and hope and potential. Adults, however, always make Namjoon a little less comfortable, because they question everything. They don’t just allow themselves to be open to wonder.
Namjoon does, and Taehyung does, too. It’s one of Namjoon’s favorite things about him, one of them multiple reasons why he loves him as much as he does.
The hardcover book makes a distinctive noise when it's closed, and Namjoon startles, looking over his shoulder to see Jimin leaning against the kitchen doorway, feet crossed at the ankle. Jimin, at least, has plenty of his childhood innocence left, too, working with kids day in and day out. But he’s also sort of terrifying, in his fierce protectiveness of Taehyung, in the way he can go from puppy-cute to absolutely cutting in the blink of an eye.
"Does anyone know that you write kids' books because you're horny?"
"Excuse me?" Namjoon's expression immediately turns sour at the words. he likes Jimin, but, come on.
"Ah, please. Taetae tells me everything. This is obviously inspired by him, and I know your sex life is all sorts of... active. So. Does anyone know?"
"It has nothing to do with our sex life, actually," Namjoon replies. He wants to say more, because there is more to say, but he's starting to feel like he's being trolled, here, and you know what they say? Don't feed the trolls.
Jimin hums noncommittally, but there's a smile on his lips. Namjoon rolls his eyes. "You're an asshole, Park Jimin. Don't - don't tell him," he adds finally, unsure Jimin will actually go for it.
"Why not?"
Namjoon shrugs. "I have a plan, but for it to work I need Taehyung to stay oblivious for a while longer."
Jimin seems to consider, and then he nods. "Okay. But I want to know about this plan of yours."
"Don't worry, you'll know before too long."
;;
"Look," Taehyung says softly, peeling a tiny piece of dead bark from the tree trunk he and Namjoon are sitting by. "It's already starting to heal underneath," he adds with wonder, and Namjoon cranes his neck to have a look, pushing his glasses up over his nose.
"Oh, yeah. Like humans, right? Skin being repaired under scabs."
Taehyung sighs wistfully, a smile on his lips. He kisses the curve of Namjoon's shoulder, before leaning his head on it. "Nature is amazing."
;;
Namjoon's next book is about Starboy being minimized to enter one of his human friends' bodies and help his immune system fight an infection. It leans heavily on the ideas of loyalty and friendship, but also requires for Namjoon to do tons of research on human anatomy, because he's not going to send Yoongi an inaccurate book, okay. There are some things you just don't do.
;;
“Does it ever bother you?”
It’s the dead of night, when Taehyung asks. They’ve just come back from a museum event, showing off some of the latest restorations Taehyung worked on. Namjoon’s still awake now, even as they lie in bed together, because he’s still beaming with pride.
He turns to look at Taehyung, his eyes huge in the dimness. “Does what bother me?”
Taehyung reaches out, fingers walking along Namjoon’s collarbone.
“That I don’t read your books.”
Namjoon hums, gently, taking Taehyung’s hand in his own, and bringing it to his mouth. He kisses Taehyung’s palm, and then each of his fingertips.
“I don’t care. You know more about them, anyway, than most other people. You’re the one I work out plots with. You’re the one that weathers my storms when I’m in a slump. I know I can get pretty shitty when that happens, but you’re always here to support me,” looking up, Namjoon meets Taehyung’s eyes with a smile. “It doesn’t matter if you read them or not. You’re here.”
Taehyung’s face breaks into a grin, and he shuffles closer, their hands tangled up together between their bodies. “I feel like I know Starboy already anyway, with how you talk about him.”
Namjoon bites his lip, a lot of words almost spilling out, about how true that is, and how Taehyung is completely, sweetly oblivious to it. But he swallows them down, nodding instead. Taehyung’s smile turns gentle, and his eyes get smaller, eyelids heavy.
“Go to sleep, Taehyung-ah. Starboy will look over both of us.”
;;
Hoseok and Jungkook find out together, because Namjoon tells them. They're out for drinks - Hoseok one of Namjoon's old college friends, and Jungkook his brilliant, good-at-everything boyfriend. Because their relationship feels so settled to Namjoon, even though he's been with Taehyung for going on 6 years, he's always asking them for advice.
Plus, they're always up for drinks when Taehyung is busy reaffirming his bond with Jimin.
"There's this thing I want to do, but I need your help," he starts, a hand wrapped around a pint of beer. Jungkook's eyes go all wide and focused, and he nods without hesitation.
"Of course, hyung."
"Okay, so - have you guys ever read my books?"
Hoseok smiles, tilts his head to the side like he can't believe the question. "Yeah, of course. Because we're good, supportive friends."
Namjoon rolls his eyes. "Yes, of course you are. Not the point anyway. You know who's the inspiration behind Starboy?"
Jungkook blinks once, twice, and then looks over at Hoseok, leaning close and stage whispering. "Is this a trick question?"
Namjoon's judging look just becomes more piercing. "No, it's not a trick question."
Hoseok pats Jungkook's shoulder, then speaks for the two of them. "Well, obviously, it's Taehyung, right? Who else would it be?"
Who else, that's true. It could be - it could be Saint-Exupéry, it could be Verne, two of Namjoon's biggest literary influences. But it's not either of them, because, of course, it's Taehyung. Taehyung, ethereal, beautiful Taehyung, that refuses for either of them to kill bugs when they crawl into the apartment, that cries at emotional commercials, that cherishes his family and his friends and his job and his life. Taehyung, that wants to get a dog, and gets upset sometimes when work gets too hard or Namjoon loses himself in writing for a little while and doesn’t pay enough attention to him.
;;
So, Taehyung doesn't read Namjoon's books. It's not that he's not interested, or that he isn't supportive, because he is. Namjoon talks to Taehyung throughout the writing period, using him as a soundboard more often than not, because Taehyung is creative, and his brain is a beautiful place. Sometimes he even draws plant life for Namjoon to describe.
But he doesn't read the books. Namjoon almost prefers it that way, too. For something that Namjoon shares with the world, he feels a little private about Starboy. He doesn't like seeing people read it, doesn't really like answering questions about it. It's these stories in his head, this imagination he never wanted to let go of when he was a child. He's his own kind of Peter Pan, his own kind of Little Prince.
And then Taehyung's his Little Prince, too. In moments like right now. Namjoon's enjoying a coffee, sitting at their tiny dinner table in the one spot that gets the most sunshine in the morning, going over his latest draft and Yoongi's edits. Taehyung waltzes in from their balcony, his private haven that he uses as a garden, wearing what looks like overalls, no shirt or shoes. He's tracking mud through the apartment, but Namjoon doesn't care as he waits, watching Taehyung walk over to him.
He leans over when he's close enough, fingers brown with dirt and leaving streaks on the white formica, and puts a tiny cherry tomato to Namjoon's lips, who opens them without hesitation and takes the offered food. He pulls it into his mouth and bites. It tastes of dirt first, but then the tomato explodes in juicy, sweet goodness, and Namjoon smiles, eyes disappearing as he tilts his head towards Taehyung.
"Are they your latest crop?"
"Mmhmm. Good?"
"Very. I still don't know how you do it."
Taehyung grins, then slips around the table to sit on Namjoon's lap, fingers pressing against the back of Namjoon's head. "Magic," he says, before leaning down to kiss Namjoon, deep and heavy, like he's trying to steal the taste of the tomato from Namjoon's tongue.
...Yeah. Magic, Namjoon can believe.
;;
Seokjin is pouting.
"Really, hyung?"
"I thought, as your best hyung, that you'd ask for my help first. And also that you'd tell me from the beginning."
"In a way, it's your own fault for not realizing that Taehyung's totally the inspiration for Starboy."
"I thought it was Singularity!"
Namjoon rolls his eyes. This is why talking to Seokjin is easy, these days. It used to be hard, it used to be the two of them clashing a little, Seokjin always on the defensive when it came to his own feelings, Namjoon always wanting to explore his own. But they found a solid middle ground, now, full of bickering and terrible puns. "My point exactly. Your own fault."
Seokjin lets out one of his patented displeased cries, complaining about disrespect, before he settles, accepting the glass of wine that Namjoon pours him. "It's not surprising though, I'll grant you that. And you're sure he doesn't know?"
Shaking his head, Namjoon smiles. "No. I don't really know why, but from the moment I started writing, he's never asked to read my stuff, and I've never offered. He always buys a couple of copies when they come out, though. Keeps one, donates one to the local library."
"He's a good one. You've got a good one," Seokjin says, very gently, and Namjoon smiles.
"So do you."
"Yoongi is a small goblin, but I guess he does have his qualities."
Namjoon rolls his eyes again, but it's fond, this time. Seokjin and Yoongi are stupid in love, in this married, utterly comfortable, bickering way. Taehyung keeps on wanting to ban them from board game nights, but they're too much fun, even if they always keep Taehyung from cheating and winning as much as he wants.
"Will you help me, hyung?"
Seokjin smiles, all big and beautiful. "Of course I'll help, Namjoon-ah."
;;
With everyone's help, Namjoon puts his plan together. Hoseok gets him the location - his dance studio. Jungkook helps with decoration, because he's a fantastic illustrator, and he and Namjoon work together to create the decor for the room. Seokjin brings food, Yoongi brings the small, extremely special edition book Namjoon asked for, the one that contains the story he’s written especially for this moment And Jimin? Jimin brings the most important piece of all: Taehyung himself.
Taehyung, who looks a little lost for words as he steps into the room, instinctively reaching back for Jimin, who’s slipping out with a little salute towards Namjoon, followed by a soft smile. Namjoon is… well, he’s nervous, in a way, but he’s not as nervous as he thought he would be, because. Because it’s Taehyung. It’s them, and they make sense; they’ve been making sense for years.
“Hey,” he says after a moment, because Taehyung hasn’t said anything, his eyes glued to the mirrored wall of the studio. It’s covered in multiple things - selfies of the two of them and assorted pictures, the illustrations Jungkook made, and notes, all over. Post-it notes, of all colors, with Namjoon’s familiar handwriting on them. They cover a lot of the mirror, but give some space for them to be able to see themselves through the gaps anyway.
Taehyung finally turns to look at Namjoon, and the confusion on his face is so goddamned cute Namjoon has to resist swearing under his breath. “What’s all this, hyung?”
Namjoon gets up and stands behind Taehyung, hooking his chin over his shoulder, and turning them back towards the mirror. “It’s us,” he says softly, hands coming to rest on Taehyung’s hips, to guide him at the beginning of the timeline. A bunch of pictures of them when they started dating, college years, Namjoon getting started on his writing, Taehyung a year or so behind fully growing into his gorgeous face. Next to the pictures, there’s Jungkook’s drawing, and it’s Starboy and his friend RM, who’s long and drawn as a flower, taking off into the skies to go meet the stars. The beginning of an endless adventure, the post-it note reads.
“It’s our story,” Namjoon continues as they walk along the timeline, the drawings, the story he’s written over so many rainbow colored post-its. “The boy full of stars, and the flower that loves him and blooms under his attention.”
Taehyung reads, watches, his lips parted in surprise, his fingers sometimes reaching out to trace the edges of a drawing. They continue moving, very slowly. “They’ve had their ups and downs. RM the flower wilts when it can’t use its words, and Starboy sometimes gets overwhelmed under the weight of his own emotions, but they make it through. Every time, they make it through. Together.”
Namjoon keeps his voice soft, speaks close to Taehyung’s ear. They’re at a drawing of Starboy and RM making themselves a home on a tiny asteroid, now, Little Prince style. They keep on going, the story unfolding; Starboy lights up the world around them, and RM grows and grows into a more vibrant, better flower, and starts sharing its words with other little asteroids around.
They’re getting towards the end of the timeline. Taehyung has been mostly silent through it, absorbing it all, processing it. One of his hands drop to grab onto Namjoon’s when they’re at the end, the pictures here all of the last few months; Taehyung is his garden on the balcony, Namjoon and Yoongi laughing, Namjoon and Taehyung in the park, making V signs at the camera, a flock of ducks taking flight behind them.
Taehyung brings Namjoon’s hand up to his heart, laying his palm flat against his patterned button-down. His heart is beating wildly fast.
“Have I always been Starboy to you?” He asks, fingers pressed in the dips in between Namjoon’s own.
Namjoon nods, moving a little to push his nose against the back of Taehyung’s shoulder, pressing a kiss through his clothes. “Always. You inspire every moment of his life. Every moment of mine.”
“Namjoon -” Taehyung starts, turning his head towards Namjoon, but Namjoon cuts him off, before his own heart beats out of his chest with adrenaline.
“Marry me, Tae,” he asks softly. He doesn’t get on his knees, doesn’t make a big fuss of it - outside of the fuss he’s already made with the whole setup. He just pulls back enough to be looking at Taehyung, and he says the words.
Taehyung’s heart skips a beat under his fingers. Or maybe he’s imagining it, because at the same time as he feels it, Taehyung is moving, turning around to face Namjoon, arms coming up to loop around his neck as he grins, still looking a little shocked. “Yes. Yes, okay, yeah, I’ll marry you,” he replies without hesitation, leaning in and saying half of the words right against Namjoon’s lips.
And Namjoon kisses back with enthusiasm and devotion, chuckling a little into it as he feels his heart explode in his chest, in every right way. When he pulls back, he allows himself a moment to look at Taehyung, be mesmerized, not only by how beautiful he is, but how beautiful his mind is, too.
“Do you mind, that you’re the inspiration for Starboy?”
Taehyung shakes his head immediately. Faded pink strands of hair frame his eyes. “No. It’s awesome, to think I’ve inspired you, and along with that, countless kids. They really look up to Starboy, don’t they? And thanks to him they know they can be anything they want to be. It’s amazing.”
Namjoon grins, and kisses Taehyung again, all relief and love. When they pull apart, Taehyung laughs. “I’m going to have to read your books now, you realize?”
Namjoon grins, all dimples. “Counting on it.”
;;