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She wasn’t expecting anyone else to be there. It was late, the sun long past gone. Frankly, she had no reason herself to drive out in the middle of the night to what had now become home base. And yet…
Home, her actual home, if you could call it that, was beginning to feel too claustrophobic and Frankie needed to move. To go somewhere, anywhere . And so she was here. In a place she was determined to loathe but was slowly growing too comfortable in. The idea that not too long ago she was fine with never seeing these people again made her laugh. You're getting too soft Frankie . The thought danced around her head before dying out.
Her fingertips balanced on the door handle before deciding to open it and go inside. She had no idea why she was here, but it felt right. A dull light reflecting off the bar counter involuntarily drew her gaze towards it, eyes landing on unexpected company.
Will.
“You're here late,” Frankie noted as she walked up beside him. She didn't make a move to sit.
“I could say the same about you,” Will countered. She ignored the comment, choosing instead to shake her head slightly. Not tonight.
Will was rested on one of the many bar stools, crouched over the island with a beer bottle held tightly in his grasp, and a thoughtful look twinkling in his eyes. There was something comforting about the way the golden light danced off his face and bathed him in warm hues. A smile quickly slipped onto Frankie's face. She brushed it off just as fast.
The corner of Will's mouth turned up, as he turned to face her, “Want to take a seat?”
Tilting her head to the side, she smirked, “Only because you asked so nicely,”
As she took a seat beside him, he passed an unopened beer over to her and Frankie took it gratefully. It was still cold, almost like he was expecting to find her here. Silence settled serenely in the air, hiding snuggly in the spaces between them.
A corner of her mouth tugged up, “Hey,” she leaned over and nudged Will’s arm, “What are you thinking about?”
“Huh?”
“Come on, it’s two in the morning. There must be a reason you’re here of all places,”
Will shrugged. A ghost of a smile played on his lips as he fiddled with the bottle in his hands. He took a sip. Frankie waited. When she didn’t make a move, he laughed.
“Oh, you’re really asking me?”
“Yes I’m really asking you!” she countered, with a laugh of her own.
“I was just..thinking.” He paused, words stuck on the tip of his tongue. Then, “I love my life,”
Frankie nodded, not sure where this was going, “Okay,”
“I’m serious Frankie. Sometimes things don’t go as planned, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my home. I even love that hideous christmas sweater Susan bought me our first year at quantico. But, I don’t know. Just a few hours ago I was home, but something felt..off..empty. And all I could think about was how much I needed to get out of there.”
For a moment neither said anything. Frankie frowned, “I know the feeling,” Another beat of silence, then, “So you came here?”
“Hey,” Will defended, flashing that classic blinding grin, “So did you,”
“Fair enough,”
Sitting there. In this place. With him-Sitting there, everything that had ever weighed her down felt far and out of reach. The two of them felt like they were enclosed in their own little bubble. Safe, secure, and warm, like nothing could reach them. A strange longing pulled at the back of Frankie’s mind. She couldn’t quite put into words the feeling. Thinking about this place, these people, as home, twisted her stomach into knots. She wanted it, but she would never know what to do if she ever got it.
“Do you regret it?” her words were a hushed whisper.
Will’s brows furrowed together, “Regret what?”
“This,” She waved her hands in the air, gesturing to some unseen nothing, “ This. This job. Do you regret the fact that you’re never going to have a normal life?”
“Well screw normal right?”
She gave him a silent look in reply.
“I mean it!” He reaffirmed, “Of course I would love to settle down, maybe start a family,” He nudged her shoulder, “ Not have to worry about dying every week,” Frankie smiled despite herself. “But,” Will continued, “at the end of the day there’s nothing I’d rather do than save lives with you.” He paused, “and Jai, and Susan, and Standish of course.”
“Of course, and don't forget Ray,”
Will made a face. Then they both laughed in between swigs of beer. Frankie hated how easy this was. To slip into this normalcy. To pretend things were normal and they were just two people in the same place at the same time. She hated that this almost felt like home.
Frankie’s eyes caught on the pristine watch on Will’s wrist. A reminder.
“Did you have a good time?” Her voice stalled, “With Emma I mean. You guys seem really…” she searched for the word, “happy.”
She wasn’t lying. They truly did seem happy. It was childish to think about a ‘what if’ that never happened. That was never going to happen. Too many emotions were rushing through her veins and she had no idea how to rein them in. So many years had been spent learning to be numb, so many years forgetting she could feel, and now a single thought easily sent her mind spiraling out of control.
Will was oblivious to war waging inside her head. At least he seemed to be, staring at his hands with a flush of red reaching his cheeks.
“Yeah, uh, we did have a good time actually,” the words fell out of his mouth, like he couldn't quite believe what he was saying, “I didn’t,” He laughed awkwardly, “I didn’t think that it would be this easy, but I really enjoy her company. I’m happy. She makes me so happy.”
“Good,”
If it wasn't so wrong, if this was a different story and they had different lives, Frankie might have been tempted to kiss him. To drag him close in the warm glow of the lights and let him know exactly what she was feeling. She closed her eyes, picturing what it would be like to truly take the time to explore each and every inch of his lips. What it would be like to fill his heart with the same longing that engulfed her own. Perhaps if things were different, perhaps if she wasn't the bigger person, she would give into her desires for the night. Perhaps if things were different she would have found a home within his eyes.
“Frankie?”
The sound of Will's voice snapped her to attention. She forced a smile, “Sorry, all of a sudden the lack of sleep caught up to me,”
Slightly confused at her half baked apology Will smiled back, “Of course, happens to the best of us. I won't be offended if you want to leave.”
Frankie nodded, “Right." She agreed, making a move to get up, "I really need to go home,” as she stood to leave she stopped, the tips of her fingers lingering on the seat of the stool, "Thanks,"
The word hung hollow in her ears. There was so much to thank him for, as annoying and frustering as he could be. But she would never admit it out loud. Thanks for being here, "thanks for the beer”
"Anytime,"