Work Text:
“Bones, I mean, couldn't you-”
“No”
“Bones, please?” Kirk pleaded.
“I said no, Jim”
“But he's driving me crazy,” Jim whined.
“Not just you,” McCoy muttered, his scowl never leaving his face. “Damn hobgoblin”
“Hey, don't call him bad names!”
“What, like hobgoblin? He's a damn hobgoblin Jim, a green blooded one, also”
“Bones!”
“I could always call him elf if you prefer,” McCoy joked, even if, really?, who was in the mood for jokes in the middle of the night?
In the middle of the Enterprise corridors?
In pajamas?
Well, Bones was in his standard pajamas. Jim was only wearing black briefs.
“I don't. Just call him Spock. And help me. Please. Make him stop”
“What do ya want me to do, kid? I cannot remove his vocal chords without a valid reason!”
“Doctor, I beliewe thiz iz a good reazon,” Chekov half said, half yawned, a hand scratching is tired eyes.
McCoy threw a glance in his direction, absently taking a note about how young – younger – the Russian appeared to be in his bright yellow pajamas with old-fashioned cartoon prints.
“Duffy Duck? Really, Chekov?” Kirk grinned.
“Duffy vaz invented in Russia,” the ensign just replied stiffing another yawn, like that explained everything.
The doctor was too tired to replay. Jim just facepalmed himself.
“Ouch!”
“Idiot”
“I'm tired, Bones! Really, isn't this a good enough reason? Pavel's right!”
“Sorry kid, it isn't”
“Uh really? What if, I dunno, we're under attack and I cannot think about a good plan because, oh!, I'm taking a nap in the captain's chair because he kept me up all night?” Jim tried to made him reason.
“We both know he would make the decisions for you. He already does,” Bones simply retorted.
“Yeah, but just 'cause I am damn tired. And I'm tired because of him. I think it's all a big well designed plan to take the command of this ship”
Bones couldn't believe his ears.
“Getting paranoid, uh?”
“No, just tired. More tired”
“Sorry kid, I can't do anything”
“Doctor, couldn't you just, uh, sedate him or something?” Sulu interjected.
Really, when had the corridor become so crowded?
“Well, doctor Sulu, excuse me if I don't want to fucking kill him with unnecessary sedatives. You obviously seem to know much better than me, given your non-existent medical degree”
Sulu blushed.
“Sorry, doctor”
“How about... local anesthesia?” Jim proposed.
McCoy gnashed his teeth.
“Jim, stop it. I'm not gonna give him anything!”
“But he's snoring so fucking loud he's keeping the whole corridor awake!” Jim finally shouted, exasperated.
And really, he was right. Half the crewmembers whose quarters where close to Spock's ones were awake by now.
Uhura was standing there in her soft, purple bathrobe.
Sulu's head was poking out of his room, his body hidden from everybody's view – which made Leonard suspect that was because he wasn't wearing anything at all, and really why had he to think something like that?
Chekov was leaning against the frame of his door in his stupid childish pajamas.
Scotty was standing in the middle of the corridor, unmoving, eyes closed. Bones suspected he had fallen asleep on the spot.
And thinking about it, no noise was coming from Spock's room anymore.
He suddenly became aware of the newfound silence.
A door swished open behind them.
Jim and Bones turned at the same time.
A very severe, very upset Vulcan was staring at them, with a – was that a teddy bear with long fangs the stuffed animal he was holding under his arm?
“May I inquire what is the reason for all this noise?” said Vulcan asked.
And really, how was it possible for a grown up man with a fucking teddy bear to still appear so intimidating?
“Ah, uh...” Jim eloquently explained.
“Ehm...” McCoy helpfully added.
Spock lifted his poshy eyebrow, patiently waiting for them to explain.
“Right. Doctor, Captain, I think I'm gonna retire now. Good night!” Sulu exclaimed hurriedly, hiding in his quarters.
“Yeah, me too”
“I'm alzo tired. спокойной ночи!”
“Ah, g'night”
And in a blink of the eye, a crowded corridor became deserted.
Cowards.
“If there is no reason for such a turmoil, gentlemen, I will go back to sleep, too” Spock said.
“Ah yeah, Mr Spock. Sorry for waking you up. Good night,” Jim awkwardly said.
“Captain. Doctor”
Spock bowed his head, then his door closed and in the corridor remained only Jim and Bones.
McCoy glared in the kid's direction.
“Really, Jim? Good night? After he waked up half the ship because of his Vulcan snoring, all you tell him is sorry for waking you up? Unbelievable. I'm surrounded by a bunch of coward. And this is the spearhead of Starfleet? Tzk. See you tomorrow, Captain” Bones grumbled, half sarcastic and half irritated, retiring in his quarters.
He didn't pay any attention to Jim's babblings and turned off his communicator. He didn't want to be woken up again 'till the next morning. He was sleeping just fine. He was lucky to be a heavy sleeper.
He didn't wake up when, half an hour later, Jim banged on his door.
Spock had begun snoring once again.