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Where's The Bombastic Sauce

Summary:

Biggie Cheeese opens up a restaurant. He serves a lot of customers - a purple annoying man and a strawberry-munching dragon being a few of them. However, Biggie Cheese isn't good at preparing food as he is at rapping, and all his customers are disappointed by their gross food. But his last customer won't take it.

Notes:

Hey guys. I was bored so I wrote this. It's supposed to be weird and a bit of a crack fic but it has an intelligible plot? Smh enjoy :D Surprisingly I wrote this at midday - school holidays where I live yeet so maybe you could expect more weird crack fics from me in the future because I got plenty of time on my hands :D

Work Text:

"I love my new restaurant!" Biggie Cheese said as he opened the restaurant up.

The first customer walked in. It was a purple man with an annoying laugh.
"Wahaha! Give me a Taco Mountain or I will Wah-p your face!" Waluigi said.
"Okay dude." Biggie Cheese said, as he summoned up a mountain of tacos.
Waluigi bit into the taco.
"There's not enough lamb sauce on my tacos. Wah, disappointing." Waluigi said, as he walked out of the restaurant.

The next customer walked in before Biggie Cheese could get disappointed. It was a huge dragon with dark scales.
"Hi dragon, what do you want?" Biggie Cheese asked.
"Give me strawberries!" Darkstalker responded.
Biggie Cheese gave Darkstalker a huge bowl of raspberries.
"THESE AREN'T STRAWBERRIES! And I'm not using my Animus magic to change them, because I don't want to turn evil..." Darkstalker said, disappointed as he walked out of the restaurant.

"Nooo!" Biggie Cheese cried. "Everyone hates my food!"

Another customer walked in. It was a yellow figure with a long nose... they looked lemony.
"Mmm... may I have your finest pureed lemon?" The lemon asked.
"Sure thing!" Biggie Cheese said, as he pureed some limes into puree. Why would a lemon ask for lemon puree? Strange.
The lemon ate some lime puree.
"This isn't lemon... this puree is UNACCEPTABLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" The lemon screamed, almost shattering all the windows of Biggie Cheese's restaurant.
Biggie Cheese suddenly recognised the lemon as Lemongrab.
"YOUUUUUUU are UNACCEPTABLE!!!! UNACCEPTABLE SANDWIIIIIIIIIICH!!!" Lemongrab screamed as he walked out of the restaurant, glaring at Biggie Cheese.

The fourth customer walked in. He looked like a very happy skeleton.
"HEY BRO! YOUR FINEST SPAGHETTI, PLEASE!" The skeleton said happily. "NYEHEHEHHEHHEHE, I LOVE SPAGHETTI!"
Biggie Cheese served up a platter of instant ramen with ketchup on it.
Papyrus ate it.
"THIS IS NOT SPAGHETTI! THIS IS CHEAP RAMEN AND KETCHUP! SANS WOULD LIKE THIS BUT NOT ME!" Papyrus said, as he grabbed the plate and ran out of the restaurant.
"SANS! SANS! SANS!" Papyrus called out as he ran off.

The fifth customer was no other than Gordon Ramsay himself. But Biggie Cheese didn't know that.
"Hello, may I get the "Bombastic Cheesie Pizza"? That sounds interesting." Ramsay said.
Biggie Cheese immediately served up the pizza. Gordon Ramsay took a bite of it.
"More like the Bombastic Queasy Pizza, because I feel sick now."
Gordon shoved the pizza away. "Can't eat any more of that. HEY YOU, COME HERE."
Biggie Cheese came over.
"So, all the customers have told me that this food is disgusting. KETCHUP on INSTANT RAMEN. LIME PUREE. Ghastly..." Gordon said. "And you clearly don't know HOW TO HELL to run this place! YOU FREAKING DONKEY! GET OUTTTT!"

Then Gordon Ramsay turned into Ultra Instinct Gordon and turned Biggie Cheese into a donkey. :D