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It was two weeks before El suggested they get together at Neal’s apartment for a meal again, and Neal agreed…he didn’t want to openly alienate Peter and El, he worked with El now. But he didn’t want another heart-to-heart.
He felt guilty because he was avoiding doing what Steel had asked him to do, but - not yet! Still, he wasn’t going to leave himself open for further revelations. If he possibly could manage it, there would be no more dinners with just the three of them.
I’m still hoping for a miracle, aren’t I?
But Peter had gone to Steel…if Steel had just asked him, he would never have thought of prevaricating, but because Peter acted as though he and Moz were guilty of unspeakable crimes, he had lied to Steel, not wanting to see his Lord look at him with distrust.
Steel had surprised him again.
So he got things ready, but phoned Diana and Jones and asked them over.
“It’s sort of pot-luck. I have salads and dessert, Peter and Elizabeth are bringing a couple of dishes. There is no theme, just bring something and come. I’m sure there’ll be plenty!”
Jones and his girlfriend of quite long-standing now, Emily, agreed. Diana said she’d love to come, since Tammy wasn’t available.
By the time Peter and El arrived, Jones had set up a bar-b-que on the terrace and was frying gorgeous inch-thick steaks Emily had been given by her father, who had a small farm in rural New York, and Diana was looking through Neal and Moz’s record collection.
“I can’t believe you kept all these!” she said, delightedly. “I gave mine away, they were so heavy to move, and now all my DVD’s are pretty coasters!”
“Mozzie will tell you, when he gets back here, in excruciating detail that analogue is vastly superior to digital, though the Japanese did develop something that gave almost as rich a sound, but the unit was a hundred-grand, so I’ll never know, now! Mozzie wouldn’t let me give away one LP, he’s got a whole storage unit full, but I was allowed to bring my favourites here. Don’t scratch them, and please, please, don’t mess up the needle, because Mozzie can sulk like no-one else I know!”
At that moment there was a knock at the door and Neal went to let in Peter and El. “Hi, there!” he said, breezily, taking their coats. “Look, Diana and Jones and Emily were free, they’re all here!”
“Isn’t that nice!” Elizabeth smiled.
Emily got Elizabeth a glass of wine and Peter said he’d prefer beer and took it out onto the balcony to go and be macho with Jones over the grill.
The dinner was delightful, however. Peter put himself out to be nice to Emily, who was a little shy of him, and she blossomed, all the food was good, if wonderfully mismatched! They put a dent in Mozzie’s wine gifts, and Neal, Elizabeth, Emily and Jones put on dance records and waltzed and fox-trotted and they taught Diana the basics of the latter.
“It’s one of the awkward things, even now,” Diana said, getting her breath back and helping hand out dessert. “I can sleep with Tammy, I can marry Tammy, I can have a child with Tammy. There are still few places I can dance with her, and it still makes a lot of people uncomfortable.”
“Get her to come here, and you can dance on my terrace, so long as it isn’t the middle of the night!” Neal laughed. “I don’t mind you two being out there while I paint.”
“He’s telling the truth!” Elizabeth told her. “Seriously, you and Tamlin could have crowd-scene rehearsals for Le Mis out there and he wouldn’t notice, he’s so focussed when he works.”
“Where is Tamlin tonight?” Peter asked.
“On night-watch. She prefers me not to be there, says I distract her!” Diana said, and Neal grinned and said, “That’s a nice compliment!”
“What are you doing now?” Jones asked Neal, waving at the covered canvas pushed up against the wall.
“I have been turning out Turners…first the three for Lil, and then a whole lot seemed to turn up…one sent over from France! I am honoured! I rather like that…I like him, and if I get into his head, into his hand, into his soul, I’d rather stay there and do quite a few rather than having to channel Degas and Dali and Picasso and van Gogh and then go back to Turner…it’s like music. Sometimes I get in the mood for Mozart and I can listen to everything I have of his…other times, I want Queen, loud! But I seldom like bouncing between styles. One or the other feels wrong.”
“But I can start with heavy rock and move through lighter rock, perhaps to jazz, ragtime, then on to some Beethoven sonatas…you know?” Diana asked.
“I understand. I just usually don’t have that sort of time.”
“You can put on records while you paint, can’t you?” Elizabeth asked.
“No. Too much stopping and washing and not messing up records and being interrupted. But Mozzie made a whole bunch of twelve inch reels and has a Revox reel-to-reel player he’s working on…so long as I’m sure I want Bach, or Bread or Nat King Cole, I can put that on once he’s done and just let it play, and if I get out of the mood I can just put my hand in a plastic bag and click the ‘Off’’.”
“I can imagine Mozzie sulking if you messed up some of these records!” Emily told him. “These are in pristine condition! And this one by June Ellington is rare!”
“One of my favourites, but I’d rather hear her sing in person! And yes, I can hear him quoting all sorts of obscure lines from unrecognisable sources!” Neal smiled.
“And Neal shouldn’t be talking about sulking!” Peter grinned. “Remember him in the van?”
Neal glanced across. He suddenly wondered if Peter had some hidden secrets – nothing career-destroying, just very embarrassing.
Must talk to Moz! Neal thought. But it’s going to be hard. He wasn’t self conscious about the suits or the tie, or the moustache! Perhaps he’s un-embarrassable!
“I wonder what happened to that horrible thing!” Jones exclaimed. “You know, I know people died, I know it was all terrible, we ended up as slaves…thankfully to a super Keeper, at least the second one…but there were a lot of good things that came out of the invasion. That van being gone is one of them! I liked White Collar, I liked the more technical aspects, but I feel more part of the community now, helping at a more local level, everything from homicide to vagrancy. And I am not sorry the van Is No More.”
“No homicides,” Peter noted. “Interesting, that.”
“More community spirit. People working together, feeling human…or as we would say, Earthling, together!” Diana suggested. “Long may it last!”
Neal offered round more coffee, and Diana said she’d make it. Peter stood up and said, “We should go, El has an early start tomorrow. It was lovely to see you all again! Thank you, Neal! Thanks everyone for the food and everything!”
They left, Elizabeth hugging and kissing everyone and Peter shaking everyone’s hand, but hugging Neal. Neal hugged back, but it wasn’t his warm, loving hug. He was holding part of himself back, now, protective, mindful of what Steel had said about Mozzie. He smiled with his mouth and hugged with his arms.
Clinton and Emily left next, and Emily hugged Diana and Neal, and so did Clinton. Neal smiled at them and they all said they must do this again, soon.
“Should I go?” Diana asked.
“No, don’t be silly! We have a fresh pot of coffee and some little petit fours we can eat out on the balcony.”
“Getting cold out there! There’s a wind tonight!”
“Nah. We’ll take some afghans and curl up on the loungers. And after Steel Keep on an average winter night, nothing short of Minneapolis, Winnipeg or Montreal mid-winter-blizzard should seem cool to us!”
They were soon ensconced, wrapped up against the wind, sipping very hot coffee and popping little dainties into their mouths now and then, gazing out over the lights that always seemed crisper in the cold.
“Still don’t know how you stay slim!” Diana protested.
“Rapid metabolism. Probably vital for criminals!”
“Did you do the caves?”
“Oh, Peter sent you!”
“No, no…! But I just became interested because it should be impossible!”
“Moz and I did the caves. I will deny ever having told you, however.”
“Is that to keep your card active?”
“What?”
“Your criminal card. Like a visa or a work permit or an acting union card – like Equity? or a press card…you know.”
“I do. I was not aware of such formality in the lawless classes, and I think the database would have to be encrypted with tens of thousands encryption! But it is nice to keep one’s hand in, so to speak. So long as my friends don’t feel the need to arrest me. Do you?”
She snuggled up to him. “Not in the least.”
“Peter does.”
“Peter is sometimes an idiot.”
“Yes. He is. He is sometimes brilliant, and sometimes an idiot. Why do you say so?”
“Must be a man-thing,” Diana said, and Neal rolled his eyes. “Do you know he went and spoke to Steel?”
“I know. It came as a shock to me, and caused me quite a lot of ...alarm. Steel was unamused.”
“That you were faking caves?”
“It got complicated.”
“Mmm…I can’t understand Peter. He can’t seem to see that you were having fun, and that it’s none of his business.”
“Elizabeth says he’s bored with the petty criminals.”
Diana snuggled a bit more. “This is nice. I used to be mean to you…Christie told me I was being. I used to get all het up because you’d…react, because we were stuck together in a teeny tiny space. She explained men and their reactions to me. Much more just physical than ours. She told me I should have taken it as a compliment.”
“You should. You’re a very beautiful and sparklingly bright woman, Diana. If you weren’t gay, and there was no Tammy…I wish, sometimes, that you had been my handler. Even right at the beginning when you just put me down at every turn…remember?”
“Yeah. Sorry.
“You know, this place could use a proper fire. And I can also see…kind of objectively, but also with a lot of affection and – yes, love, just not lust! – that you are a beautiful man.
“You know, I like going to the Keep and cuddling with Tammy in front of the fire when it’s cold outside.”
“Me, too. Love that! I have a gas-thing but it’s just not the same.
“But even though you were horribly mean, at first, you never muddled up what was right with what was wrong.”
“Whereas Peter looked the other way when something legally iffy worked, but then he’d preach at you, even in front of us. You were pretty patient sometimes. I thought you didn’t have a temper…till I saw you go after Fowler. Whew!
“He’s still doing it now and then.”
“Yes, he is.”
“You know, Jones and I had a bet…seriously, we did…as to whether you and Peter would…um…you and he seemed to often bicker and argue and fix each other’s ties and all that as though you were an old married couple!”
“You and Jones thought that Peter and I would end up as a couple? What about Elizabeth?”
“Oh, don’t get me started! She’d come in and if Peter wasn’t there she’d kiss you and tease you…don’t tell me you didn’t see that!”
“Yeah. And if it hadn’t been for their fantastic marriage and the fact that Peter has a poker stuck up his ass, I might have become involved, and I wouldn’t even have known why!”
“What do you mean?”
“After four years of prison, with no wanted physical contact, it’s like an ache. Not sex. Nothing to do with sex, although obviously that can be the outcome. But it’s like now. I can feel your warmth, your humanity. I love you, Diana, you know? Not sexually. I cuddled Tammy, she told you. It was very special. Partially because it wasn’t sexual, and couldn’t be. Partly because she was yours. You saved me several times in the old days. I’ll never forget.”
“You saved us, too, taught us. It was great. I miss the beginnings of that. When Peter seemed light-hearted, still.”
“Anyway, I like hugging people I love. I need…I think we all do…physical contact, physical love, as opposed to just sex. I was talking to our Lord about it. Nothing wrong with sex, don’t get me wrong! – but this is what I might have fallen for with Peter. Because he used to touch me, put his hand on my shoulder. I responded. After all that loneliness and alone-ness it felt like love.”
“It might have been control.”
“Di, it might have been both!”
There was a comfortable silence. Then Neal asked, “You and Jones had a bet about whether I’d end up in a relationship with the Burkes? Seriously?”
“Listen! There are those weeks when there’s nothing but mortgage fraud, Caffrey…!”
“I am very, very glad it didn’t happen!”
“I think…I think he’s overcompensating!”
“It didn’t need to be that way! You don’t know all the things that went down, before the war…”
“I’ve guessed some things. I think you went above and beyond – things you probably want to tell me one day in front of Steel-Keep fire, where I am sure they are inadmissible - and if you hadn’t, Peter Burke would be the one with a criminal record!”
“Not justly, but yes. It may have done him some good to find out what prison was like. Not just a cell and poor food and limited travel opportunities!”
“I wouldn’t wish that on anybody! I was just an ordinary girl, you know– ”
“Now I seriously don’t believe that!”
“Well, I wasn’t typical across the demographic, but I was like most blessed people, thinking that people were in prison because they were bad, dangerous, and that it was a just and fair system. Working with the FBI, and especially you, showed me that I was wrong. Look at some of the bastards supposedly on our side!”
“That’s the trouble. Most people have this concept of government, of the judicial system, whatever, and they won’t listen to the other side of the argument…and if they suddenly find themselves caught up in the juggernaut, then they’re on the other side, and can’t tell those people who haven’t experienced it.”
“But you enjoyed - and enjoy - being a criminal.”
“Yeah. I’m a facultative criminal now, there is no reason I have to do bad things. But I still enjoy it! And only mildly bad things...I wonder how different I would be if my father had been like Steel: loving, kind, generous, funny.
“I don’t know what else is as fun as running a successful con. Having some stuffed shirt curator hanging my Matisse on his wall and telling everyone about how he acquired it.”
“You are still just a mischievous little boy at heart, aren’t you? It’s all just a lark to you, seeing what you can get away with? The money is to your life what counters or chips are in other games.”
“Mmm…I’ve been very responsible and hard-working and oh, how I loved teasing Peter about those caves!”
“There must be ways of using your brilliance and your quirky way of thinking in some legal way!” Diana said, frowning a little.
“I wish I could think of one. You see, I don’t just do forgeries, or run cons, or steal stuff or whatever…it’s varied. It’s what comes along! Mozzie will come and tell me that some awful criminal has holed up with ten million dollars and a bunch of jewels in a cabin in the woods somewhere, and he used to beat his wife and abandoned their child and can we get the money and leave him stranded and give half to his family…and then it’s all the reconnoitring and planning and the execution…such a rush! Or Mozzie saying he’s found some caves, the land is for sale, how can we use them? You know?”
“I see. Most legal stuff just doesn’t have that. That variety, that excitement.”
“Keep thinking about it! Perhaps if you think of something, it’ll be a backup for all of us! I just can’t see myself plodding away copying forever, or becoming a security expert, or an authenticator. They’re all boring! At least after a month or two.”
“It would be fun to work together…perhaps do something across the worlds, use Tamlin, and our sensitivities – I will try and think of something! You, too! Perhaps I will become your handler, or your boss!”
“If it’s quirky enough, Diana, I’ll probably become yours!”
“That I’d like to see! Perhaps Jones and June and Mozzie could all be a part of it! Actually, that makes it sound like a circus!”
They sat quiet for a bit, enjoying the night air.
“It’s lovely of June to have made this place over to you.”
“June is one,” Neal gave her a hug, “of the nice ladies in my life. There should be a plaque on her wall saying something like, “Caught the Dutchman, the Ghost, the Copy-cat Caffrey, the - ”
“Why?” Diana asked.
“ ’Cause I wouldn’t have stayed even a day or two if I hadn’t found her!
“Yeah. Let’s be honest, there are dangers and evils in the prisons, but I never saw bugs and filth in there like that motel! Promise, Diana, if I’d had to live there, I’d have run. I could have just cut the anklet at the last legal station north, and run south, using Moz’s special emergency code.
“Dear, sweet, lovely June, and the clothes…you know, they gave me $700 per month for rent – so it went straight to June…and nothing else!”
‘But how were you supposed to eat, dress, whatever?”
“You tell me.”
“I suppose, since you were a successful criminal…”
“Yeah, but here’s the thing, they expected me to have outside sources and use those ill-gotten gains. I might not have. Actually, I was pretty close to retiring when Kate left and I started getting stupid. I had enough money. But accessing it was another thing. Thankfully Mozzie helped, and of course June helped. But Peter’s not stupid. How did he expect me to live? Did he want me to come into work with a wool coat, a T-shirt, horrid slacks and misfitting shoes and an anklet day after day? Just to show me what a criminal deserves?”
“I can’t imagine you conning all those criminals you caught for us being Mr Well-Dressed, Suave and Gorgeous in that get-up.”
“I think Diana Berrigan just complimented me!”
“We-ell, I complimented Byron Ellington’s taste and his tailors!”
They grinned.
“Yep. Poor June. I think she thought she’d give me a continental breakfast, and that would be it. If she considered feeding me at all! And when you realised, you and Jones tried to share lunches with me now and then.”
“Later, Peter did, too.”
“Yes. That’s when I thought he was beginning to like me.”
“Oh, don’t fool yourself, Peter liked you. Peter respected you. Peter was very glad you were helping his closing rate!
“I think that Peter loved you, but he just couldn’t let himself relax around you, because you are such a smart criminal and he was afraid you’d con him. He had an inferiority complex when it came to you. You can still talk rings around him…even when you weren’t, he thought you were running a con. And be honest, Neal, you did!”
“Sweetie, I think I wouldn’t have, I’d have stopped after Kate – I had to try and find Kate, she was in danger. I had to keep my investigations secret, Peter would have tossed me back in prison, he told me so. But after that, if he’s trusted me more and more, and showed that he liked me…but…”
“And it might be because of you keeping him in the dark about Kate that he never really did after that.”
“Yes, that probably explains a lot. But he’d have done the same for Elizabeth.”
“Yes, he would have. But remember, he didn’t like Kate.”
“I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything! I loved her, Diana. Whatever she was, in the end, I was trying to find her because I loved her, I’d let her down and she was in danger.”
“I know, Neal. I sort of wish I’d been comfortable in White Collar then, perhaps I would have seen what was going on and stepped in and mediated between you…but I went to DC, and I don’t think Cruz…”
“No, Cruz was no Diana Berrigan, and Jones didn’t have your insight.”
Diana said, thoughtfully, “That first day, I asked Peter if he wanted coffee and you asked for some…and I said to get your own. You actually couldn’t, could you? God, how awful!”
“Don’t worry about it. No, if it cost a quarter, I couldn’t get myself some coffee! It was a long time ago, Diana. I was just flirting with you.”
“Huh! How’d that work out for you?”
“You’re here in my arms, aren’t you!”
“Haha, Caffrey, always living dangerously!
“So you brought us tonight as –um – solvent?”
“Solvent?” Neal asked.
“Yeah, to dilute Peter and Elizabeth?”
“Oh…I just don’t want to cause trouble, I work with Elizabeth for heaven’s sake, but I don’t want to spend another evening being interrogated or preached-at! And I thought it would be fun, and it was!”
“That bad?”
“No, definitely no, it’s not always and certainly not continuous, but I am wanting to punch him every time he does it at the moment. And I keep sort of forgetting…I wanted to play with him about the caves! I brought it on myself. Well…you and Jones started it, now I think about it…but I could have just left it at, ‘No, it’s impossible’!”
“Still, punching him - assaulting a LEO, Neal. Not smart.”
“Only if he catches me!”
“Don’t do this just to give yourself an excuse to go on the run and avoid easels full of Turners and whatever else!”
“Aw, shucks, why?”
“Well, I’d miss you, for one. But you need to pace yourself…you look tired, and you never did before.”
“Thanks, Diana. But he couldn’t follow me, I can now go anywhere in the world, I have no record, I have money, sometimes it’s very tempting! And almost any country the aliens visited would have me and pay me to forge…sorry, got to change that! …copy their damaged artwork.”
“Other dangers…you always wanted training! - I’m going to tell you the single most important thing in martial arts generally.”
“And what’s that, Di?”
“Never hit anything hard with anything soft…if you’re going for Burke’s head area generally, use a bat, a brick, a pipe!”
“Good to know! Learn that at the Academy?”
“Learnt it in Standard Three…when I was in the UK with my Dad, ten-years-old…don’t aim for the head. Further south, much better!”
“I’m so glad I never tangled with you!” He laughed down at her.
“The Academy taught me a great many things. I knew how to fight dirty before!”
Neal chuckled. “I never learnt the physical arts of fighting to win.”
“Oh, but you are so superior in the verbal arts of fighting to win!”
“Not really. I’m not very good at fierce and serious competition. Unless I really dislike someone, it’s all a game. I like to win the game. I don’t like to take people out. I don’t have the emotional make-up.
“When does Tammy get off duty, our time?”
“No clue. I can’t keep track of their time/our time. She may just go to my place, and then come here. No-one here doesn’t know about us jumping.”
“Might have given Emily a shock! And Mozzie has this clock in his head…well, he always did. You can ask him what time it is in Adelaide, Australia, and he’ll tell you – correcting for daylight savings and what-not. He can do the same with Steel Keep.”
“Useful talent. Oh, Neal…I should go.”
They unwound themselves from the blankets and rugs, chuckling. “Looks like a cheap re-make of one of the Mummy movies,” commented Neal, and flinched as Diana reacted. “What?”
She stood very still, eyes downcast, and Caffrey longed to paint her. She looked like some spiritual entity, brooding power and control personified. Then she looked at him. “You don’t know?”
“Know? …Oh…?”
“Yeah. Tammy and I are having a baby. But – but we only just found out ourselves!”
Neal grabbed her and hugged her breathless. “Diana, how wonderful! So you’re – you’re - ?”
“Yep. But don’t tell anyone! I don’t know how it will change my active status.”
“Of course I won’t unless you say. Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t think either of us care!”
“I wonder if it will have five fingers or four on each hand?” Neal joshed.
“I hope five,” Diana grinned back. “You are joking, but there are no clinics doing this anymore on Earth, well, anywhere I could find. So we asked Lira.”
“So you mean it really is yours and Tammy’s?” Neal had to stand and process that. “That surely means it has to be a girl? Doesn’t it? Or – or are Tammy’s people’s sexuality controlled by different genes - ?”
Diana laughed. “I don’t care. Lira’s already told us it’s healthy at this stage, and so am I.”
“This child is going to be the most blessed, fortunate, lucky little tyke in the history of two worlds! Two lovely mothers, Steel as a grandfather – or something – Moz and I as uncles – Brak and Ophera, June and Jones and Peter and El…he or she will learn to swim in a lake of love, Sweetie.”
“He or she will certainly get an extensive, interesting and all-rounded education!”
“That’s true!”
Diana kissed him goodnight and left him happy for her, and just a little lonely for himself.
The End