Work Text:
The thing about being in love with an angel was that things were definitely never going to be of the variety of normal that most others could experience. The situation was only added to in gravity when the simple fact of being a demon was factored into the equation.
And not just any demon.
When said demon was known to be the demon of all of the tales of the Garden of Eden, well, that added all kinds of complications into the matter.
Of course, said demon didn't go and develop feelings for just any angel, either. He had to go and fall arse over head for the angel of the Lord who was also at the Garden during the expulsion.
Kili did indeed have issues and he wasn't quite sure how in the everloving Hell he was ever going to deal with or rectify them. After all, he had been trying to deal with them ever since he realized what he was truly feeling. He had thus far managed to keep Fili from realizing the depth of his feelings and care, but he wasn't sure how much longer that would work.
He and Fili were remarkably annoying in that they had learned millennia ago how to read each other. He expected to be found out at any moment. He was equal parts excited and morose about the truth ever coming out to his angel.
Well, not actually his in the way that he wanted him to be.
But very much his in the way that if any other demon ever attempted to harm one feather on Fili in any way Kili would make them wish that they had stayed in hell or had been extinguished completely long before the fall of the one they followed.
[[Kili was very careful not to refer to Satan as The Boss around Fili because it distressed the angel so much.]]
Demons were not supposed to develop any kind of feelings or attachments for Angels. At all. It was one of the things that would be in The Handbook in large blinking letters written all in capital letters.
You know, if there had been a Handbook of things that all demons were supposed to learn while they walked the world.
Come to think of it, Kili wondered why they didn't have Handbooks like that for both sides? After all, they really might be the kind that might say more and give better answers than the book written by half-drunk or half-mad shepherds and half-wits that humans clung to as The Absolute Truth.
Kili closed his eyes and sighed as he leaned back against the headrest in his car. This was not the time to continuously let his mind go off on little tangents. He needed to keep his focus and hold onto his attention span.
Such as it was.
It was time for another one of their annual get-togethers and for the first time, Kili was having second thoughts and regrets that they had been having these for so long. Not because he didn't enjoy spending time with Fili. He did. Very much.
Perhaps too much.
He wanted to do things to the angel that probably didn't bear thinking about. He wanted to see how far he could bend him over and hear what kind of sounds he might make if Kili applied his tongue --
Kili hissed and straightened up, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts.
He could not do this, not tonight.
For the first time, the Angel and the Demon were not meeting at a public diner or outdoor coffee shop as they always had in the past.
No, this time Fili had invited him to one of his actual residences that he kept on Earth when he was there. He told Kili that after everything that had happened with Adam and the not quite Armageddon, he was a bit weary of company outside of his doors.
Kili could relate, but Earth was still better than retreating back to Hell to spend who knew how many years before something called to him and seemed exciting again.
He exited his car and leaned against the side of it as he glanced across the street and then up to the windows that seemed to have just enough light to push the darkness of the night around them to a dark gray. He knew that the angel was upstairs waiting for him. He could feel him, just like always.
Curse it. Maybe he should just retreat to hell for a few hundred years until he no longer felt this incredibly painful and almost consuming hunger to be closer to Fili than he was supposed to be.
Well, he could always do that after the night was over. He may be a bastard demon, but he was a flash bastard and he wasn't going to just suddenly stand up the only real friend he knew he had.
Fili deserved better than that after everything they had seen and spoken about for so many years.
Running his hands through his hair and then down his tight black shirt he made sure he was as impeccably presentable as could be and then headed to the side door that would take him to the flat above the bookstore.
When the door to the flat was opened to reveal Fili, Kili had to swallow and then swallow again. He didn't know what was different, but he could sense that something was. He heard the door shut behind him and after taking a few steps into the flat he turned to peer at the angel. Both were quiet for a long moment as Kili tried to figure out what was different about his friend. When his brain lit upon it, his eyes widened in confusion, and no small bit of concern.
His light. Fili's light was more muted than he had ever seen it. It wasn't enough that any mortal would even be able to tell how bright the angel shown unless he wanted them to know, but to Kili, this was a big difference.
"Fee? What has happened? What's wrong?"
He was surprised to see the angel fidget a little bit as he had never seen Fili fidget.
"There is nothing wrong, my dear," Fili said, shaking his head. "Or, at least I hope that there is not, but only you can answer that question for me."
Now he was really confused. "What are you talking about, Angel?"
Fili gave him a gentle smile. "I don't know what I have done in the time we have known each other to make you so reticent to be around me in recent times, Kili. I fear that somehow I have shown something of my thoughts that have upset you and make my only true friend pull away from me."
Kili just stared at him, trying not to gape in shock. "Fee?"
"Sit, Kili, if you feel comfortable enough in my presence to at least still do that?"
The sad look in the angel's eyes had Kili frowning, but reaching for his hand to pull him down to sit as well. What foolishness was in Fili's mind that he thought he had done something to cause him to pull away?
"Talk to me, Fili. This isn't like you and I would like to know what is on your mind so I can decide how I am going to react."
"My dear demon," Fili murmured quietly. He reached out a hand like he was going to touch Kili's face and then pulled back at the last moment. "I fear that I have done you a grave disservice and owe you an apology."
Kili couldn't imagine Fili owing anyone an apology, much less him. Frowning, he grabbed Fili's hand and squeezed it. As he did, he had to stare at the angel's face because the hand within his was warm. No, it was more than warm, it was almost as if it was radiating heat. When he looked into his old friend's eyes, he could swear that he saw fire within those depths.
"Talk to me, Fee," Kili requested, even as he let his fingers move along the back of the angel's hand, taking great pleasure in the tremors he felt in the other's hand every time he did such a thing.
"I have been dishonest with you after promising for so many years that I would never do such a thing unless orders made it impossible for me to be honest," the angel said softly.
"What have you been dishonest about, angel?" That was such a lovely little twitch along the tendons right there...
"O-our friendship," Fili stuttered as he tried to figure out exactly what the demon was doing that was causing even more warmth to rise up within him than what he was already feeling. "I have had thoughts... feelings about you that I should not have and in truth have no right to be feeling for one who is truly my friend in this existence we have been in."
At this soft confession, Kili crooked a small smile as he brought the angel's hand up to his mouth. With deliberate slowness, he ran his tongue along the skin between Fili's fingers as he watched the angel's eyes and listened to the hitch of his breath. Oh, his angel liked that.
“Like what kind of thoughts,” Kili purred, his lips vibrating against the angel’s skin.
“N-nothing that is pure or practical, not with -- ah…”
Kili smiled, looking into Fili’s eyes as he pressed his body against him even as he ended the kiss that had caught the angel by surprise.
“Kee,” Fili whispered, his eyes wide but filled with a fire that was nothing that Kili did not desire. He wanted to see what kind of fires his angel had locked within him.
“I don’t know whatever I could have done to make you think that I wanted anything practical or that I ever of things with you in only a pure sense.” He straightened up, but not before his tongue flicked once more against Fili’s lips. “I came here tonight intending to spend one last night with the being I hate being apart from. I intended to tell you that I was going to be gone for a while, possibly returning to hell to sleep for a decade or two.”
"You... you were leaving? But why? There was no Armageddon. No reason that we had to retreat for a while. We can stay and see what happens next and what Adam and his friends are going to make of this world."
"Because, as you know now, I have had the most impure thoughts when it comes to you, my angel. Things and desires that I believed would surely turn your eyes from me and I could not bear to face the cold that losing your friendship would cause me. Rather than risk doing or saying the wrong thing, I was going to return to Hell and try to find a way to lock all of those away until I was able to merely be your friend and companion for another millennium. I did not wish to cause friction between us so I was going to withdraw for a while. I would have returned again one day, like I always have managed to do."
Fili moved closer again, touching his hand to Kili's face. Kili marveled at the fact that the angel's grace did not burn him or cause him any kind of a pain at all. In fact, it was quite pleasant and felt right in ways that nothing had done in a very long time.
"And now, my dear?"
"Now?" Kili's voice hinted at the confusion he was feeling over the question.
"You stated that you were going to leave. Have you now changed your mind?"
Kili was so still and quiet for a long moment that Fili wondered if he was being spoken to in his mind by someone that was very much not invited to this conversation. "It very much depends on whether or not you are thinking of acting on those thoughts and feelings that you said you had been having." He paused, for the first time since they had known each other looking a little unsure. "And if you do not want to, that is all right as well."
Fili laughed softly and then narrowed his eyes and fixed Kili with such a look that he was hard pressed not to squirm. "My dear, dear demon, there are so many things I want and want to do that I don't rightly know where to start first."
Those words had Kili very intrigued. "You've had ideas, angel?"
Fili reached out and tugged at Kili's hair, pulling him ever closer until he could breathe against his ear. "So many ideas, Kili," Fili murmured, letting the tip of his tongue trace his ear. "I guarantee that you will see stars."
Kili started to wonder where his proper angel had gotten ideas and what kind of plans he had. But then there was a lick, and then the nip of teeth on flesh and it was quite some time before Kili remembered to wonder about anything at all.