Work Text:
“Good morning, it's 8am, the weather is cloudy with scattered showers, the New York traffic is moderate and there are seventeen new pictures from last night circulating the web,” Jarvis informed Tony in his morning report. Tony groaned into the pillow.
He was stumbling into the bathroom a few minutes later. “What pictures?” he asked with a frown once his bladder was comfortably empty.
“There are a number of pictures of Miss Potts and yourself from your date last night,” Jarvis clarified.
“Good or bad?” Tony asked as he started to shave.
“While the aesthetics of the pictures escape me, sir, the publicity surrounding them appears to be good on the whole.”
“Hmm. I'll check them out.”
“Miss Potts would also like me to inform you that she will have breakfast ready in five minutes.”
Ten minutes later, Tony ducked into the kitchen, holding one of his glass tablets, flicking through photos and articles. “hey, Pep, have you seen this?”
Pepper peered over his shoulder briefly. “Seen what.. oh.” She frowned slightly. Pepper had never been fully comfortable with the attention she and Tony received wherever they went.
Tony caught her expression but he grinned anyway. “Naw, this is brilliant Pep. Look, we've got fans!” he said excitedly, waving the tablet displaying a blogging page in her direction.
Pepper arched an eyebrow. “You've always had fans, Tony, mostly of the type who want to get into your pants.”
Tony made a face. “Yeah, yeah, but these ones want you to get into my pants!” he declared proudly.
“Excuse me?”
“They're fans, Pep. Of us. Like Brangelina, except they're calling us Pepperony. I mean come on, how much cooler is that? They named us after pizza!”
Pepper's lips were twitching but she shook her head at him. “And that's flattering?”
Tony gazed up at her for a moment. “Pizza, Pep. Pizza.”
Pepper rolled her eyes fondly, and kissed the top of his head as she stood up. “I'm going to work.” Tony snagged an arm around her waist and gave her a proper kiss before he let her go.
Tony spent the rest of the morning in the lab, alternating between reading all the posts that popped up about him and Pepper and actually working. He found the whole Pepperony fanbase hilarious, especially as they somehow seemed to find him and Pepper adorable and cute. Tony was very proud of their fanbase.
Then he saw that post. It was just a photo, but the caption read: they both look rlly hot! Pepper looks amazing! U think she's pregnant?
Tony felt his heart rate climbing as his eyes widened. “Jarvis, are we pregnant?” Tony asked in an awestruck, terrified voice.
“That would be a bit difficult sir.” There was an audible smirk in Jarvis' voice.
Tony glared. “Jarvis. Is Pepper pregnant?”
“If she is sir, she has not confided in me.”
“No, but like...” Tony waved his hands around wildly, “there've been no pregnancy tests or... or cravings, or vomiting that I don't know about?”
“Unless you count your craving for peanut butter smoothies last week, then no.”
Tony shook his head, his heart still racing. “Do you think Pepper could be pregnant?”
“Anything is possible, sir, with the amount you two--”
“Jarvis!” Tony ran a hand down his face. “Not helping.”
“I apologize. How can I be of assistance, sir?” Jarvis asked caustically.
“Better.” Tony nodded. “We need to find out if Pepper's pregnant.”
“Might I suggest asking Miss Potts, sir?”
“I can't... I can't just ask her something like that. What if she isn't? Then she'll think I want kids. I don't know if I want kids. I mean, I do, but do I want kids now? And what if she is? She'll think I've been spying on her.”
“You have been spying on her,” Jarvis put in helpfully.
Tony growled. “Not the point J. Come on. Help me with this.” Stupid fans. They weren't allowed to work these things out before him.
He spent the next hour looking up signs of pregnancy.
()
That evening, Pepper found You scrabbling through the trash. She made an exclamation of surprise, and You looked up, arm rotating wildly for a moment as he let out a panicked sound before rolling away quickly.
When Pepper got home from work the next day, one of the cupboards had miraculously filled with pickles. She frowned at it in confusion – neither her nor Tony normally ate the things, especially not twenty jars of the stuff. Shaking her head, she closed the cupboard again, resolving to ask Tony about it later.
Tony just shrugged and said it was an experiment. Pepper didn't want to know what kind of experiment might include 20 jars of pickles.
She woke up one morning to find Tony staring avidly at her calendar, which he promptly shoved away when he saw she'd noticed, making a break for the bathroom. Given that Tony's behaviour was quite often strange and suspicious, Pepper didn't even bother asking this time.
Pepper had noticed that whenever Tony and she were in a room together, Tony never stopped watching her. She was used to his eyes following her around, but it was starting to get a bit much. Particularly as he would jump and looked away if she ever caught his gaze.
The final straw was Dummy hanging out in the master bathroom. Pepper walked in and saw the bot, took a deep breath, and walked back out again. “Jarvis, where's Tony?” she asked in a definite Tony-is-in-trouble voice.
“Mr Stark is in the lab.”
Pepper nodded and headed down, eyes narrowed. “Tony, what are you doing?” she asked in a strained voice as she entered the room.
Tony looked up at her in confusion, recognising that tone of voice and unable to think what he was doing wrong. “Uh... working?” he suggested warily, waving a prototype at her.
Pepper sighed. “Why is Dummy in the bathroom?”
“Ohh.” Tony looked terribly caught out. “Um. Collecting data?” he offered.
Pepper looked at him. “Does this have anything to do with the 'pickle experiment' and You's sudden habit of rummaging through the trash?”
“It, uh, might do...” Tony answered evasively.
“Tony.”
Tony sighed and looked up. “Are you pregnant?”
“What?!” Pepper stared at him, unable to work out where that had come from.
“Pregnant. Y'know, baby.”
Pepper just looked bewildered. “Why would you think--?”
Tony shrugged, tilting his head to the side. “Are you?”
“I, no...” She paused, checked herself. “I don't think so, at least.” She frowned. “It's possible.”
Tony blinked at her. “Oh. Okay.”
“Why did you suddenly decide I was pregnant?” Pepper asked, more gently this time. Tony flipped a hologram of the blogging website towards her. She read it, eyebrows raised. “You saw a post on the internet.”
Tony shrugged, grinning slightly sheepishly. “Yeeaah.”
Pepper shook her head. “All right. Come on.” She took his hand and tugged him out of the lab.
“Where are we going?” Tony asked, following her.
“To find out if I'm pregnant.”
()
As it turned out, she was.
Tony made a very flashy announcement on the fanbase website, much to the fans' excitement.