Chapter Text
The door opens to an empty apartment. It smells like her. A needle prickles your heart. You ignore it. Grabbing your shoes, you take them off. Walking around in high heels all day takes a lot out of you. Your blazer, you take it off too. You don't even like them. Preferring sneakers and hoodies.
You make your way to the couch. Plopping down on the comforter, a sigh escapes your lips. Today was a long, long day. Trying to make the merger between the two companies as seamless as possible is not the easiest thing to do. But you're trying. You just hope that those below you actually try too. God damn those incompetent workers.
Shirt unbuttoned, a beer in one hand, and a tv remote on the other. You know you probably look like one of those middle-aged men right now. But you just want to unwind right now. So, you could care less about what you look like right now. You're alone anyway.
Until you're not anymore.
The door beeps, and your ears pick up the sound of footsteps. She's back. From where? You don't know. You didn't ask. Maybe you should have. It would be in your best interest to know if something ever happens to her or if there's an emergency. But you don't ask. You don't think you'll ever ask. You already ruined her life. You don't need to invade her privacy on top of that.
The steps come closer and you look from where you're slouched on the couch. There she is in all her glory. Kim Minjoo. The daughter of Kim Jiseon, the owner of a pharmaceutical company. The Goddess that everyone loves. And your wife.
You hate it. But you don't hate her. You could never hate her. But you hate the title. Most of all, you hate how you both got the title. It was an arranged marriage. Your parents wanted to merge the two Kim companies, and what better way to make it even smoother if the heir marries the second daughter?
You hate that too. Heir. Like that's what you only are. Like that's what you'll only be. There's a Chaewon beneath all of that too. Not just a Kim.
But you don't put it all on her. After all, what did Minjoo do? She's innocent in all of this. She's a victim too. You wish she wasn't though. All you wanted was for her to be happy. And you don't think she'll ever be happy with you. Maybe if you had met with different circumstances. Maybe. But what's done is done. No need to cry over spilled milk. Thinking of what-ifs won't do anyone any good really.
"Hey," you greet her. You try to give her a smile, but only a small one comes out. Emotions aren't your thing, especially showing them. But you try for Minjoo.
("Do you hate me?" Minjoo asked you one day. Out of the blue really. You've just been quietly having dinner together.
"What?" Your eyebrows furrow. Hate her? That's practically impossible. What made her think that?
"It's just—you don't—every time we—" Minjoo sighs and takes a deep breath before continuing. A frown on her face. "You never smile at me. You never say more than 5 words at a time. Whenever we eat together you just stay quiet. You never give me the time of day nor do you even spare a glance my way."
Quite honestly, you're pretty bewildered right now. Who knew the quiet beauty has a fiery side to her? You’ve just found another side to her. There's a burst of joy from that information. But it quickly disappears once you've registered what she said. You frown too. Because no, you don't hate her. You could never hate her.
"I—"
"Why do you hate me?" she interrupts you. "I know our circumstances aren't exactly ideal, but—"
"Minjoo," you softly cut her off. You never liked raising your voice. It's a waste of energy in your opinion. Plus, doing so in this situation would probably make it worse. "I don't hate you."
"Y-You don't?" She looks confused. You sigh inwardly. Thinking back to your actions, you guess you haven't been the most welcoming. You were only respecting her space, but you guess it worked badly in your favor.
You study her for a moment. Her eyebrows furrowed. Her hands clutching on the utensils. Knuckles white. It must've been bothering her more than you thought. You have half a mind to hold her hand. Comfort her. But you know your boundaries. You're not a real couple.
"I never hated you," you try to reassure her. "In fact, I quite like you, you know?"
"If that's true, then why do you look like someone just told you that the company is going bankrupt?" Minjoo blurts out before she could stop herself. When she does realize, she covers her mouth and tries to quickly salvage it.
But you laugh instead. A soft and quiet laugh. You smile at her, albeit a small one.
"Thank god for that."
"W-what?"
"Nothing," you chuckle at her expression. "I like you, Minjoo. More than you think."
"Oh."
You wonder if you're seeing things or if she's actually blushing. The lighting is quite dim. It could be just the trick of the light. Why would she blush from that anyway? But you feel your heart soaring regardless. You don't know what it means. You don't think you want to find out. So, you ignore it. (You ended up finding out later anyway.)
"Then can you please tell me or something? Or give me a sign? Cause I can never tell what you're thinking," she asks you while looking the other way. It's cute how her ears peak out.
"Yeah, okay."
"Okay?"
To be honest, she didn't think it would be that easy. Nor did she expect the conversation to go this way. Minjoo didn't want to be dramatic, but she was expecting more screaming and curses. At the very least, some barely veiled threats coming her way. But here we are.
"Okay.")
"Hey," she greets back to you. Her coat dangling from her arm. A tired look on her face. Your chest is immediately filled with worry. She nods to the can of beer in your hand. "Tough day?"
You should be the one asking that. You nod anyway. Minjoo hums before walking away to the kitchen. She sets down her coat on the counter. You watch her as she moves around the kitchen. Concern still on the forefront of your mind.
You stand up as she starts making some tea for herself. Leaving the beer can on the coffee table. You turn off the tv too. It was a welcomed distraction earlier. Not so much right now. You roll up your sleeve before leaning against the island counter. A pensive look on your face. What has her so worn out?
Minjoo jumps when she finally notices you standing behind her. She takes a hand to her chest and complains to you about startling her. You just give her a small smile and a soft sorry.
"So?" she asks you while holding on her mug. Blowing on the hot tea.
"What?"
"I'm pretty sure you didn't come here to just stare at me," she jokes. "So, what is it?"
"Why can't I?" you ask her back.
"Why can't you what?" She tilts her head a bit and it wakes up the butterflies.
"Why can't I stand here and just stare at you?" You're genuinely confused. People stand around to look at art. People also stand around to see models run down the walkway—well, technically, they're sitting down but that doesn't matter right now. Both of those things are allowed. So, why can't you do that right now?
"Well—you—um," Minjoo stutters with her response. From the past year of living with you, she had picked up on your signals. Learned all your habits and ticks. She knows that you're genuinely confused, and she doesn't know how to answer you.
"Well, anyway," you say—saving her from her misery. You want to know why she's so worn out. "What happened today?"
"Today?" This was unusual. You never ask her anything about her day.
You nod and wait for her to continue.
"Oh, well..." Minjoo sips on her tea. If she's being honest, she's stalling. How much should she tell you? She knows how you react when it comes to him. She decides to not say anything about him, lest she wants you to worry. "I met with my friends today."
"Ah, the tall kid and the hamster looking one?"
"Yujin and Yuri," she corrects you with a laugh. "We went to lunch together."
You hum in acknowledgment.
"So, why are you so worn out?"
"Huh?" She tenses up. You knew it. something did happen today. You stare straight at her eyes.
"What happened." It wasn't a question. And she knows that. You could always see through her. She thought it was worth the shot anyway. Minjoo sighs and confesses.
"I saw Jinyoung today."
You tense up at that. Kim Jinyoung is your cousin, and you hate his guts. A womanizer and dickhead. A freeloader who does nothing for this family. A sexist bastard who thinks it's his life goal to stick his dick into every hole he sees. And worst of all, he likes Minjoo.
You would rather die than let Jinyoung put his sticky hands on your wife. You might not be a real couple, but Minjoo is still your wife. Pushing yourself off the counter, you quickly walk over to Minjoo. You take her tea and put it aside.
"Hey, I'm still drinking that!" she whines but quickly shuts up from the look you give her.
You search and study her body. Looking for anything that might be out of place. A bruise or a blemish or anything. If you find even the tiniest one, you will fucking kill Jinyoung. That bitch can say good-bye to all his credit cards and bank accounts at that. Maybe you'll even hire a freaking private eye to get some blackmail on him.
"Please don't kill Jinyoung. I don't want you in jail." Minjoo grabs your hands and holds them tightly. Apparently, you were muttering to yourself, and she heard. You feel a bit embarrassed that your thoughts got out. She smiles at you. "And please don't hire a PI either. Maybe limit his credit cards though. God knows he has too many shoes already."
"Why not?" you scowl. "If he hurts you—"
"Hey, relax." She rubs her thumb against the back of your hand. "He didn't hurt me."
You don't believe her because you don't trust Jinyoung. At all. But she tries to convince you that she is in fact fine. You keep scrutinizing her anyway. It's then that you see the bruise on her wrist. Cleverly covered with the long sleeve of her sweater.
"Chaewon, I'm really—" She stops in the middle of her sentence. She sees your gaze. More importantly, she knows that you know now.
"I-It's not as bad as it looks," she carefully says.
You feel anger quickly rising in your chest. You don't care what Minjoo says. You are going to do all of the above and maybe more—no, definitely more—to the bastard. He fucking touched her. How dare he.
"What did he do?" you calmly ask her. She knows it's just a mask. She knows how angry you are right now.
"Chaewon, it's fine. I didn't—"
"What did he fucking do, Minjoo!" you didn't want to raise your voice. You really didn't want to. Especially not at her. Red fills your eyes and all you want to do is just kill the fucking bastard. You need to know what he did to her.
"I—"
But then you see the scared look on her face. The unshed tears on the corner of her eyes. You immediately deflate. Colors start to come back from the previously red world. You only feel guilty for making her scared. God, you hate yourself sometimes.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," you quickly step back from her. You keep stepping back from her. A voice in your mind keeps telling you that she's scared of you. That you need to get away from her. That she doesn't want you near her. You can't ignore it. You listen.
You listen and you run away.
Walking away from the kitchen, you quickly make your way to your bedroom. You lean against the door and let out a sigh. Instead of comforting her, you made her scared instead. Great fucking job Kim Chaewon. Best wife of the year award goes to you.
A few more minutes of wallowing and you look around the room. A few papers scattered around here and there. Everything is either green, black, white, or some variation of it. It's your bedroom alright. Your bedroom. Not ours. She has a separate room. You've never slept in the same room as hers. The only exception would be on your wedding night. And even then, you slept on the couch. Not wanting to make her uncomfortable.
You suppose this is how it'll always be between you two. Always in the same house, but not in the same room. Always together, but never really together. You shouldn't be asking for more. You don't have the right. It's fine. You're content as long as she's happy.
Making your way to the window, you take out your phone. Dialing a familiar number. You look out to the scenery. Seoul is beautiful from up here. You can't see the stars. But the lights from the city makes up for it. The sight calms you down. It makes you feel small. Like you don't mean anything. And in the grand scheme of things, you don't.
There's a morbid sense of comfort in knowing that you don't matter. After all, if nothing you do matters, then you should be doing things that matter to you. Because life is short and you certainly don't want to waste your time in this tiny rock of a planet. Right now, what matters to you is Minjoo, and she got hurt. You're going to do everything in your power that she won't get hurt again.
The ringing stops and a voice reaches to her ear.
"Ma'am? It's unusual for you to be calling me this late," a man answers you.
"Baekho, do you know anything about Jinyoung's schedule today?" you quickly cut to the chase.
"Your cousin?" He sounds confused. You don't blame him. Normally, you wouldn't want to do anything to do with him. "Let me check for a moment, Ma'am."
You wait patiently. Still gazing out into the city. People look like ants from up here. So tiny and insignificant. You find another sense of comfort knowing that you're one of them.
You keep gazing out until your eyes spot a dark alley near your building. And you think of nightmares and monsters. Your mind wanders back to her. You wonder whether she's still in the kitchen. Maybe finishing her tea. Or maybe she's already in her room. Preparing to get a good night’s sleep. You hope she gets good dreams tonight. A reprieve from the horrors of the world. You'll do anything to keep the monsters at bay.
"Hello, Ma'am? Are you still there?" His voice snaps you out of your thoughts.
"I'm here." You should focus on the conversation. "So?"
"He was going around the city earlier today. It seems like he bought several Nike shoes with his credit cards. A few stops at his friends place before going out to lunch. And it looks like your cousin met with your wife today." He pauses for a second. "Is that why you're concerned with this matter?"
"Continue." You ignore his question. He already knows the answer to that anyway.
"Your cousin met her coincidentally at a restaurant for lunch. Your wife had been eating with her friends prior before. I believe their names are Ahn Yujin and Jo Yuri. It was at the end of their lunch when sir Jinyoung approached them."
"Do you have footage from the restaurant?"
"Yes, we've received their CCTV footage. Do you wish to see it, Ma'am?"
"No," you tell him before whispering the next part to yourself. "I don't want to break anything in my room."
"Ma'am?"
"No, it's nothing," you sigh. "What did he do with my wife?"
"Um," you wait for his response. You know he's quickly checking the video for you. "for the first few minutes, they seem to be just talking."
"Did my wife seem uncomfortable?" You already feel the anger rising up again.
"I apologize, but I do not have the qualifications to accurately tell," he says politely. But then he continues with slight hesitation. "However, in my personal opinion, Ma'am, she seems to be very uncomfortable."
"Why do you say so, Baekho?" Your words are laced with venom. He feels a shiver go down his spine. He knows that your anger isn't directed at him, but it doesn't stop him from being scared.
"M-Madam Minjoo has her body turned away from him, and sir Jinyoung is trying to close the distance between the two of them."
"I see." You tighten your fist. The world slowly turning back to red. "And what else?"
"When the Madam is trying to leave with her friends, sir Jinyoung pulls her back by the wrist. Your wife is trying to resist but it does not work. Her friends are helping, but sir Jinyoung's friends are in the way. They have now resorted to screaming."
"Do you know what they're saying?" Your knuckles are white at this point and your hand hurts. But you pay no attention to that. All you see is bloody red. You will kill the bastard.
"Forgive me, but they do not have an audio recording of it."
"It's fine. Do you know where he is right now?" You grit your teeth. You know you won't be satisfied until you break one of his teeth yourself. But then you hear a soft knock on your door, and it opens to Minjoo with a concerned look on her face. All the fire disappears with one look at her. She hovers uncertainly at the door. You motion for her to come inside. You notice that she's wearing her pajamas now. A fluffy white hoodie and black leggings. You wonder sometimes if she's actually just a little kid sometimes. But it's cute on her. So, you don't mind.
"Are you planning on visiting him, Ma'am?" Baekho asks you.
"No, I'm not." You watch her as she moves across the room to stand near you. "Inform both Father and Mother about this matter. Preferably to my Aunt and Uncle too. They should be able to handle this matter."
"Understood, Ma'am. Would that be all for tonight?"
"Yes, that should be all." You walk away from the window to your bed. "Thank you, Baekho."
"It was a pleasure, Ma'am."
With that, you hang up on him and set your phone down on the bedside table. You look back to Minjoo standing in the middle of your room. Fidgeting. Come to think of it, this might be the first time she's come inside your room. You haven't been in hers either.
"What is it?" you keep your distance from her. You don't want to scare her again.
"Is it fine? To leave it to your parents?" she asks you instead.
"It'll be fine." You sit down on your bed. A sigh escapes your lips. While it would've been better if you beat him up yourself. You know your parents wouldn't take so kindly about that. Minjoo also wouldn't like it. You don't want to do anything that upsets her. "If there's anything that my parents love more besides profit, it would be our family image. Imagine what would happen if it gets out to the public that my own cousin assaults my wife."
"Right." She looks to the left and scratches her cheek. You think you see a glimpse of red on them. But you dismiss it. You really need to stop getting your hopes up. You subtly shake your head and ask her.
"Anyway, did you need anything?"
"Oh, uh, nothing," she shyly says. Fidgeting again in her spot. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
"Why wouldn't I be okay?"
She doesn't answer that. Or more accurately, she doesn't know how to answer that. Because you looked really sad earlier after you yelled at me? Because she knows that you don't like Jinyoung? Or is it because she saw the fear in your eyes behind the veil of sadness?
You just wait for her to answer. The silence is suffocating for both you and her. But you don't know how to break it. You don't know how to ease her worries if you don't know what it is that worries her in the first place. You get that it's about you. But what about you? Is it because you yelled at her earlier? Oh, God, that's it isn't it?
Is she worried if you're going to do that again? Definitely not. You quickly stand up and walk to her. Still conscious of keeping the distance, however.
"If—if you're worried about me yelling again, I promise I won't do it again." You hate how you stuttered at the beginning. "I know I made you feel scared earlier and I'm sorry for that. I just didn't know what came over me. Actually, I do—but that doesn't excuse what I did. I was just so, so angry at what Jinyoung did and I hate it when you get hurt—cause god knows you hurt yourself a lot already with how clumsy you are—but that's not the point. The point is that I'm—"
"Chaewon! That's not—I'm not worried about that," she tells you softly. She wonders how much you beat yourself over it. Because this is the first time she's heard you talk this much, and honestly, it's a bit worrying.
"—sorry that I yelled at you and—you're not?"
"No—well, yes," Seeing you tense up, she quickly finishes her sentence. "but not what you're thinking."
"What?" You furrow your eyebrow in confusion.
"I mean, I was scared when you did yell at me. But I knew you were just concerned for me." She takes a step closer to you. "I'm more concerned with what happened afterward."
"Afterward?" You take a step back.
"When you ran away. Chaewon, we've been living together for a year now. Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" she takes another step forward.
"What do you mean?" You take another step back.
"I know it’s bothering you and you’re beating yourself over it." She steps forward again, and you step back again. She frowns at you. "Why do you keep moving back? I'm trying to comfort you here."
"I—What?" you ask her bewilderedly.
Minjoo is trying to do what now? Isn't she the one who needs comforting instead of her? She's the one who has bruises for god's sake. Why would she comfort you? She doesn't let you wonder for long, because she quickly strides right up to you. You try to keep your distance, but you only end up bumping against your bed. Which subsequently results in you sitting down on it. She now stands right in front of you with her eyebrows creased. She grabs a hold of your shoulders and nods to herself.
"Now, you can't move away," she huffs.
If you're being honest, you could probably just push her away. The girl isn't very strong. You've seen her try to lift a box full of files only to immediately set it down after ten seconds. She's weak. But you stay put. You like being near her. There's still a voice in your head that keeps telling you to move away. That you're no good for her. That you have to stay away. But you can't really hear it. Not with Minjoo so near to you.
"Why were you doing that anyway?" She’s confused. Earlier, you weren't like that at all.
"I didn't want to scare you," you answer her truthfully. And she gives you a look.
"I was the one approaching you! How could I be scared?"
"I didn't want to do anything that scares you again. There, better?" Crossing your arms, you pointedly look away from her. This is getting into dangerous territory. You feel like your only a few more questions away from confessing everything.
"Chaewon..."
Thankfully, she doesn’t ask you any more questions. Instead, you feel her thumb making circles on your shoulder. Tension leaves your body as moments pass, and your shoulders slump. You've never been intimate with her. Never something like this. Always keeping your distance. It's nice though. Her comforting you like this.
"You don't scare me, Chaewon," she gently tells you. "And do you know why?"
"...Why?"
"Because I trust you." You look up to her. Her eyes are filled with affection. And really, you don't know what to do with that information. But you do feel like crying right now, and you don't even know why.
"Why would you do that?" you breathe out.
"Why wouldn't I?" Minjoo smiles softly at you. "You've been nothing but sweet to me ever since our marriage started. You may be a little cold and I did think you hated me at first. But ever since that conversation months ago, I started to notice the little things, you know?"
"What little things?"
"I know you buy bread only from the bakery down the street cause I said I liked it. I know you make tea every morning for me because I hate coffee. You always know when I'm upset, and you always make sure that I'm okay." You look away again. This time for a different reason. You try to cover your face with one hand, but you know your ears gave it away. Even though you can't see it, you just know she's smiling. "And most importantly, I know that you hate watching Pride and Prejudice, but you still watch it with me."
"I—How did you know that?" You look back at her. You were sure you were acting just fine when you were watching it with her. Wait, is that why she never asks you to watch with her again?
"Your cousin told me." You frown at that. "I mean the other one."
"Hyewon." You click your tongue. And she promised she wouldn't tell.
"Anyway, point is that I have no reason what so ever to be scared of you." Minjoo cups your face and the butterflies become more rampant. You want to lean in, but you don’t. "You're only human, Chaewon. You're bound to make some mistakes. It's okay. Today, you just happened to accidentally scare your wife."
A tear escapes your eye, and it sends Minjoo to a panic. You don't mind her though. You're way too deep into your thoughts. It's been so long. so, so long since you've felt like this. It's light and airy and honestly, you feel like you could just fly right now. Your shoulders feel so much lighter. You've never even realized how heavy they were in the first place.
When you were little, the only thing you wanted to be was perfect. If you weren't perfect, then it's a slap to the hands. If you weren't perfect, then you weren't a Kim. Now that you're older, you've learned to not put those expectations on yourself. After all, it's impossible to be perfect. No one could be perfect. You thought you had rid yourself of that. You thought that you had accepted the fact that you're not perfect. You thought.
Apparently, you haven't gotten rid of the ball and chain on your leg. You've just been ignoring it. No one's ever really told you that it was okay. That mistakes are fine. How lucky are you to have Minjoo as a wife? Not to mention that your marriage is a political one. she has every right to hate you. If she was kind, then maybe ignore you. But no, you got an angel as a wife. And you're just so thankful that you have Minjoo.
"Hey, hey, it's okay." You hear her softly say to you. You don't know when it happened. But you're hugging her tightly now. Practically clutching on to her like she's the only thing keeping you alive. That's probably true at this point. You're crying into her hoodie, and she pats your head. A hand rubbing circles on your back. The only other noise in the room beside her comforting words is your occasional gasps for air.
You don't let her go for a while. You never want to let her go. But you do once you've calmed down, albeit reluctantly. Wiping your tears with your hands, you keep your head down.
"I'm sorry," you quietly say.
"For what?" You can practically hear the frown in her voice.
"Ruining your night, I guess." You shrug your shoulders. "And for seeing me like that."
"Chaewon, I just had one of the shitiest days of my life. If anything, you made it better." She cups your face again. This time with both hands. she pulls your face up to look at her. So, you do. And you feel like you want to cry again from the amount of affection in her eyes. You feel like it had doubled from earlier. "Also, you keep saying it, but apparently forgot what it means. I am your wife. And as your wife, it would behoove me to comfort you when your upset."
"So, you're saying that you're only doing this cause it's your duty."
"Yes, that is exact—wait, what? No, of course not!" Minjoo squishes your face with a huff. "I'm doing this because I care."
"Okay, I get it. So, can you stop squishing my face now?" you say muffled by her hands. she giggles softly but releases your face from her hold. You frown a bit. You said stop squishing, and not stop holding your face. You like it there. You like being close to her.
"Do you feel better now?" she asks you after a beat.
You hum as a response. You certainly do feel much better. In fact, you've never felt better. The ball and chain are gone from your feet. You now know that she cares more for you that you previously thought. And judging from her eyes, she likes you a lot more than you thought too. Which by the way, does that mean that you can touch her more now? She's really close right now, and she did let you hug her earlier. That means she's okay with being close, right? She's been touching you. So, you can do the same, right?
"Does this mean I can touch you?" you know you won't get an answer no matter how much you mull over it. So, you resort to directly asking her. What you didn't expect was to see her immediately blush once the question leaves your mouth. And this time, it's definitely not the trick of the light, you're too close for it to be a trick.
You feel a prick of hope in your heart. While you've seen affection in her eyes, that doesn't mean anything. Because you can still have affection for someone platonically. Friendships do exist. This gives you more hope than that. And for the first time, you don't feel like you have to squash it down.
"W-What do you mean by touch me?"
"Well," you don't really know how to explain it. Isn't it already self-explanatory? But she asked, so now you have to give her an answer. "it would probably be easier to show you."
"W-wait what?!"
You pay no attention to her panicking and circle your arms around her waist. You pull her in close until she's flush with you. Resting your head on her stomach, you look up at her. Minjoo's warm. You vaguely realize this earlier, but now you're much more aware of it. It's so comfortable to be with her and you think you can just fall asleep like this. Instantly, all the day's weight dawns on you. You feel really sleepy and all you want is to sleep now. Preferably with Minjoo in your arms.
"Oh," she softly lets out above you. She finally understands what you mean. She giggles softly to herself. "Yeah, okay. You can touch me more often now."
"I can?" A small smile makes its way to your lips. You feel her hugging you back.
"Mhmm." She nods.
You're starting to think that you might have a chance with her. Feeling a bit confident, you want to ask her to go to sleep with you. It's late. When you looked at your phone earlier, it was already past eleven. You know it's probably past midnight at this point. But you worry if you're pushing your boundaries too much. You had just gotten much closer today. You didn't want to ruin it. But, whatever, you decided to take the leap anyway. You are way too drowsy to care about consequences right now.
"Stay here for the night," you simply say before breathing out. "with me."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
You didn't expect her to agree so quickly. At least another question from her. You thought you needed to convince her to stay. Apparently, she doesn't need any convincing. A wave of warmth blooms in your chest. You like to think that maybe she wants to be near you too.
She takes your face into her hands. Just like the other times before. Unlike the other times before, you lean into it. You're allowed to now.
"Okay."
Later on, as you lie in bed with her in your arms, you'll feel content. The smell of jasmine filling every fiber of your being. You're on the clouds above. Swaying gently in the breeze as you fall asleep. Her hands clutching your clothes and you hold on to her tighter. You don't want her to be carried away by the wind. You want her here with you. You're starting to think that maybe she wants to be here too. And maybe, just maybe, you think you could make her happy.
You're on the clouds above, and you can see the city from up there. You don't look down though. You look up because you can see the stars. You may not matter in the grand scheme of things. You're just one of the ants after all. But the girl in your arms matters to you. And you'll be damned if you don't try to make her the happiest one alive.
//
The world may mean nothing and we were only the ants. But the world is full of joy and we're the ones that decide what's important to us, Chaewon. And you mean the world to me.