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“Hey, my parents are out of town for the weekend, an annual business retreat. You wanna come over after school today?”
“Of course, I’m hoping to do something real fun with you tonight,” Donghyuck whispered to Mark, but he made sure that it was loud enough for the rest of Mark’s friends to hear. Donghyuck was perched on top of Mark’s lap at the lunch table, Mark occasionally spoon feeding him applesauce.
“Shit, Mark’s gonna get some tonight!” whooped Johnny, the senior captain of Mark’s football team.
“Ah yes, Mark’s annual sex fest. You’re too lucky Mark, you get all the fun,” said another one of Mark’s teammates, Jaehyun. “Every year you get one weekend of the house to yourself. Remember the business retreat weekend from last year? You told me you banged your girlfriend so hard she-“
“You guys need to shut up,” Mark yelled out, clearly angry. His hand holding Donghyuck’s waist tightened.
“It’s fine babe,” Donghyuck patted Mark’s chest. “After what happens tonight you’ll forget all about every other business retreat.” This lead to the whole table filled with Mark’s teammates to go wild , hollering “way to go Marks”, pounding their fists on the table. Donghyuck flashed a cocky smile.
His friends think I’m cool.
Donghyuck’s self celebration was interrupted by Mark whispering in his ear, looking uncharacteristically concerned.
“Are you sure about this? You’re not just saying that stuff because these guys are here, right?”
“You’re funny,” Donghyuck casually replied. On the inside, Donghyuck was freaking out. He never intended to actually have sex with Mark that night, he only said that because he knew it would get Mark’s friends riled up. Mark would usually brush Donghyuck’s inappropriate jokes and innuendos aside, but today Mark had been serious. Donghyuck had actually never had dated before, let alone had sex with a person. Donghyuck wasn’t a popular person, he wasn't even acceptably “normal” by his school’s standards. Donghyuck was on the science bowl team, wore wide legged jeans with tennis shoes, and maybe last year he started drowning in the shallow end of the pool in PE but he doesn’t like to talk about that. Needless to say, Donghyuck was a virgin loser, and Donghyuck didn’t want to taint Mark’s reputation by having him date a virgin loser. So when Donghyuck started dating Mark, he lied to him about his previous relationships, or lack thereof. In actuality, Donghyuck was scared. He definitely was interested in having sex with Mark at some point, but he wanted it to happen further into their relationship, plus him and Mark had never even talked about things like this yet. But now, Donghyuck had gotten himself into serious shit because he just agreed to have sex with Mark and now-
I’m gonna have to bang Mark Lee tonight.
When the bell rang, Donghyuck kissed Mark square on the mouth. “I’ll see you tonight babe, I’m excited.” Donghyuck winked at Mark before getting up from his lap.
When the evening actually came, Donghyuck was definitely not excited.
Mark turned on the TV and picked a movie before settling next to Donghyuck, one arm slung around Donghyuck’s shoulders, the other over his leg.
“Spider-man 3? You really want to watch that?”
“Well, we’re not actually gonna watch it, right?” Mark rubbed his hand over Donghyuck’s thigh. Donghyuck shifted so he could lay his head on Mark’s shoulder. Donghyuck was glad Mark couldn’t feel his heartbeat, because it was aggressively pounding in his chest.
“I guess not.”
It was really only about ten minutes into absentmindedly watching the movie together before Mark landed a suggestive kiss to the corner of Donghyuck’s mouth. Donghyuck reciprocated immediately, tilting his head to the side so he could let Mark kiss him fully on the mouth. Mark grabbed at his waist and hoisted Donghyuck up onto his lap. A good few moments of pure mouth to mouth action and Donghyuck was enjoying himself.
Maybe tonight won’t be too bad.
It wasn’t until Mark slipped his tongue into Donghyuck’s mouth, that he started to feel uneasy. The warm appendage felt slimy and unfamiliar. Donghyuck jumped from where he was on Mark’s lap and unconsciously pushed him away, breaking the kiss.
“What’s wrong?” asked Mark.
“Uh,” Donghyuck said, looking anywhere but Mark’s eyes.“Can we move somewhere else?” Donghyuck felt uncomfortable, maybe moving to Mark’s bedroom would help him feel safer.
Mark nodded. “Sure, let’s go to my room.” Mark took Donghyuck hand securely in his own and led Donghyuck upstairs into his room. As soon as they walked through the door, Mark turned his lamp on, which was weird because Mark always liked to use lihis ceiling lights since they were brighter. So why would Mark want to have his room dimmer-
Oh shit. It’s mood lighting.
Well, this is it ladies. We about to fuck.
Sitting Donghyuck onto the bed, Mark grabbed Donghyuck’s face and resumed where they left off on the couch. Donghyuck gasped into this kiss, his eyes wide open. Good thing Mark’s eyes were closed, or he would see Donghyuck looking like a deer in front of headlights. Sure, Mark and him had made out before. Hell, they’ve made out more times than Donghyuck could count. But tonight felt different. Mark seemed more aggressive than usual, kissing him more fast than he usually would, and he was more touchy, feeling every inch of Donghyuck he could get his hands on. It brought goosebumps to Donghyuck’s skin, and he hoped Mark was too busy in his hormonal lust to notice. Donghyuck tried to relax. He closed his eyes and attempted to keep up with Mark’s movements, even adding some bites into the mix, which Donghyuck had never done before.
This is weird, Donghyuck thought. I don’t know what I’m doing.
Mark seemed to be enjoying it, and that’s all Donghyuck really cared about. Mark moaned into Donghyuck’s mouth, and pushed him so Donghyuck was laying on Mark’s bed, Mark’s knees straddling Donghyuck’s hips. One last sloppy kiss and Mark came up for air. Staring into Donghyuck’s eyes, Mark smiled above him.
“You ready, babe?”
With no words, Donghyuck simply nodded, and hesitantly looped his arms around Mark’s neck. Mark looked too happy for Donghyuck to say no.
It’s fine. It’s just Mark and I trust him. I can do this. I can do this.
Donghyuck repeated the mantra in his head as they resumed their makeout session. Everything was going according to plan until Mark started snaking his hands under his shirt, and feeling his stomach. Feeling the smooth skin, Mark began to run his hand down closer to Donghyuck’s-
No sir, abort mission. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.
Mark broke from the kiss, noticing Donghyuck’s mouth movements had started to become disjointed as he went on, and moved back from Donghyuck’s face to take a good look at him.
Donghyuck was shaking, and Mark might have been deceived into thinking it was from pleasure if it weren’t for the emotion conveyed in Donghyuck’s eyes. In contrast to Donhyuck’s trembling form, his eyes were unfocused, pointed towards Mark’s face but looking right through his being. Putting Mark on edge, he slowly retracted his hand from underneath Donghyuck’s shirt and settled it reassuringly on his shoulder.
“Baby? We can stop if you want,” said Mark.
Mark’s talking snapped Donghyuck back to the surface.
“What did you say?” Donghyuck’s voice was feather light.
Mark sighed. Donghyuck looked so unlike himself. His usual confident aura and snarky attitude had been replaced with energy exuding timidness and uncertainty in the mere minutes they were in Mark’s bedroom.
“Yep, we’re definitely stopping.”
“Don’t!” Donghyuck cried out, starting to panic. “I’m sorry, don’t stop. We can keep going-” Donghyuck tried to unbutton Mark’s shirt, but to no avail, as his hands were shaking too much for any kind of coordination. “We can- we can keep going.” His voice had started to tremble as hard as his hands by now.
“Babe,” Mark started, his hand moving to where Donghyuck’s was on his chest, padding his thumb around it in soothing circles. “I think you and me both know we’re not gonna keep going. You’re literally shaking.”
Donghyuck whimpered, looking like a kicked puppy. Mark frowned at this.
“Sunshine, it’s fine. You’re okay, just calm down. You’re shaking a lot right now.”
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make us stop. I’m just scared,” whispered Donghyuck.
Mark tilted one eyebrow.
“You’re scared of me?”
“Not you! It’s just-“ Donghyuck let out a broken sigh. Mark urged him to go on with a kiss to the hand he held. “This is my first time.” Donghyuck’s voice got quieter with each word he spoke.
Mark looked confused for a second, before his eyes opened wide in realization.
“You’ve never had sex before?” Mark asked. Donghyuck shyly nodded.
“Baby, what’s going on? You’ve dated tons of people in the past. You told me about how you and the guy you dated last year would-“
“I lied.” Donghyuck interrupted, his throat starting to close up. “I’ve never had sex. Fuck, I’ve never even dated anyone before you. I just said all that stuff because I thought you wouldn’t be interested in dating someone inexperienced.” Donghyuck allowed a couple years to spill out his eyes. Mark watched him with wide eyes, silent. “It’s just- It’s just that I know you’re popular, and a year older, and you hang out with all the older kids. I’ve heard about your girlfriends you’ve had before we dated so I know that you’re experienced and you’re just so cool at school and-” Donghyuk shuttered out a deep breathe. “I guess I kinda thought you wouldn’t want to be seen with a loser baby boyfriend like me.”
It took awhile for Mark to process Donghyuck’s confession into his head. When it did, he took in the situation he was in, still on top of Donghyuck, his legs straddling both sides of his body. Mark lowered himself into a laying position, and took Donghyuck’s shoulder to have him face Mark, never letting go of Donghyuck’s hand.
“You’re not a loser baby boyfriend,” said Mark gently. “You’re my sweet, caring boyfriend. My boyfriend who I fell in love with because he took a look at my landscape assignment in art class and said, “not bad for a dumb jock”, who immediately chose me as his partner for our portrait assignment because he wanted to showcase the pretty eyes behind my glasses when I got a black eye during practice and couldn’t wear contacts, the boy who replied with “I guess” when I asked him out after class.” Donghyuck broke into a watery smile at Mark’s recollection on how they got together. Donghyuck was sassy, but that was the main reason why Mark loved him, for his personality. “I’m not dating you for the sex, because I love you just the same after you told me you’ve never done it before. And don’t you think of trying to do something like that with me just because you think I want it. We don’t have to go fast just because I’ve done more, we can go as comfortable of a pace you want.”
Donghyuck buries his face into Mark’s neck and cries, his emotional dam broken.
“Thank you,” Donghyuck chokes out, his voice sounding wet. “I really tried. I wanted to be able to do it.”
“We don’t have to do everything all at once. You can take as long as you want. Whenever you think you’re ready, come talk to me and we’ll try again. How does that sound?” Mark ends his question with a kiss to the side of Donghyuck’s head. Donghyuck replies with simultaneous sobs and head nodding.
After a few minutes, Donghyuck’s cries eventually turned into shallow breaths, an he stifled a yawn. Mark looked at the clock on his bedside table, 9:15. It wasn’t late at all, especially for a Friday night, but Donghyuck seemed to be exhausted.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” asked Mark, and tried to crane his neck in order to look at Donghyuck’s face laying on his shoulder. Donghyuck’s eyes were closed, but still answered a quiet “yes” into Mark’s shoulder. Mark suppressed a coo in adoration, and kissed the tear tracks off Donghyuck’s soft cheeks. Leaving the lamp on, Mark encircled one arm around Donghyuck’s waist, entangling their feet together.
“Goodnight, babe. I love you.”
Donghyuck curled his body closer to Mark’s.
“I love you too.“