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Bananas, Babies and Prison Breaks

Summary:

The Doctor is arrested for breaking into a banana grove, but that's hardly the most intriguing revelation to come out when an expectant Rose demands to see her imprisoned husband.

Notes:

This is for Kelkat9, who prompted "Shackles." I had intended for the prompt fic to be shorter but this one got away from me a bit! I hope you like it. Unbetaed, so all the mistakes are mine.

Work Text:

You might want to hurry up.  If you’re so inclined.

 

Rose rolled her eyes at the note of disgruntlement in her bondmate’s voice.   Patience.  I’m workin’ on it,  she thought.

 

Patience, my arse.

 

Rose chuckled.  She glanced at the small man behind the desk.  He was bald, with a bushy mustache and large round eyes magnified by thick lenses.  He peeked over the top of his glasses. “Pardon?”

 

Right then, let’s try the direct approach.    “I need to see your prisoner, the Doctor.  M’ his wife, Rose Tyler.”

 

He seemed unimpressed.  “The magistrate will be back for sentencing in the morning.  You can see your husband then.”

 

“No.  That’s not acceptable.  I’m his pregnant wife, and I don’t fancy waiting to see the father of my child.  I want to see the magistrate immediately, too!” She crossed her arms above her gently rounded abdomen, fixing her most intimidating Jackie Tyler stare on him.  The jailer cringed. It didn’t take long for him to make his decision. He lead her back to the holding cell.

 

“As I said before,” he announced, trying to recover his dignity, “the magistrate will see you tomorrow.”

 

A rather pathetic sight greeted her.  Unable to pace back and forth due to the shackles on his feet, the Doctor was relegated to sitting on a wooden bench, and his hair resembled a very alarmed hedgehog.

 

“Hello,” she sighed.  “Can’t decide if ‘m amused or if ‘m angry with you.”

 

He glanced up at her.  “I did this for you,” he muttered.

 

“Oh, really?”  She arched an eyebrow skeptically.  “Ya sure it wasn’t for you?”

 

He stood up and attempted to take a step towards her, forgetting his shackles and nearly falling over.  Recovering his balance, he blurted, “Of course it was for you! You were craving banana bread.”

 

Rose burst out, “I never told you I was hungry! I didn’t even know what you were doin’ until you told me you were arrested!  And how did you know I wanted banana bread? I didn’t even know I wanted banana bread!”

 

“The baby told me!  You’re all a bunch of ingrates here!  I destroyed that weapons plant. I planted this grove!  I should be able to get the best bananas for my wife and child, even after hours!”

 

“You’re not above the law, Doctor!  I shall make sure the magistrate knows of your attitude!” the jailer growled straightening his spine in attempt to look taller.  

 

Their dispute was interrupted by Rose.  “Wait, the baby told you?”

 

“I speak baby.”  the Doctor explained before he turned his attention back to the jailer, ready to debate.

 

In the moment, Rose forgot they were standing in a jail cell, with a disgruntled bureaucrat listening in.  She had urgent questions for her husband. “The baby can speak to you ?  Why didn’t I know that?  Shouldn’t I have a bond with it, just like I have with you?”  

 

The Doctor took her hand.  “You are bonded.  Remember, you knew you were pregnant before you ever took a test. It’s just because you’re human...weeelll, mostly sort of… that the maternal communication piece isn’t quite as developed yet.  But soon you’ll be more in tune with her thoughts than I am.”

 

She was about to take him to task for not telling her that from the beginning, but her train of thought derailed when she realized what he’d just implied.  “Stop! You said her ?”  She had assumed it was much too early to know the gender.

 

The Doctor’s eyes widened in amazement.  “I...Oh! I did! I just found that out! Whoa!  If she can tell me that, then she can… Wait, hold on…”. He appeared to be deep in thought, his tongue touching his front teeth.  Rose felt him in her mind, whispering, giving a little nudge, then she felt the faint stirrings of a tiny consciousness. Her daughter.   “Feel that?  She’s reaching out to you.  Brilliant! She’s a genius already!”  He beamed.

 

Rose’s emotions overwhelmed her and she pulled him into an embrace, snogging him soundly.  When they finally broke apart she declared, “I feel her now! Last night I had a dream of you holding a little girl.  Was that her?”

 

The Doctor beamed, gently stroking his thumb over her cheek to catch her joyful tears.  “See, she is communicating with you!  You just weren’t aware yet!  Oh, Rose Tyler, this is brilliant.”

 

Rose burst into laughter.  “It’s fantastic!” She kissed him again, but the moment was cut short by a strangled sob behind them.

 

They’d forgotten the jailer, who stood just inside the open cell door.  Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks. “That’s the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever witnessed.  I’m contacting the magistrate. I’ll make sure she’s here within the hour. You’ll be released, I’m sure.  I mean, I can’t guarantee, of course. She hates banana theft. But she’s a mum, so surely she’d understand these things happen… I would assume.  At any rate I’m sure she wouldn’t give you the full sentence.”

 

“What’s the full sentence?” Rose asked.

 

“Two hundred seventy-eight solar cycles. Give or take.  I’ll be right back. Are you hungry? Can I get you some bananas?”  

 

“Could I possibly get out of these shackles first?” the Doctor inquired, his eyebrow raised.

 

The jailer shook his head.  “No, sir, we have rules here.”  He locked them both in the cell.  “I’ll be back as soon as I contact the judge.”  With that, he scurried away.

 

Rose couldn’t help but laugh at the look of disappointment on her husband’s face.  He carefully sat back down on the bench. She joined him, taking his hand. The Doctor gave her a small smile as he rested his free hand on her abdomen.   

 

“This baby is gonna be such a daddy’s girl,” Rose murmured.

 

“You think so?” he mused.

 

“How could she not, with a dad like you.  Whaddya say we pop into Tesco’s next time, yeah?  We can endure substandard Earth bananas.”

 

He nodded, sighing.  “We have a more pressing issue at the moment.  I’m not risking all those solar cycles away from the pair of you.  Didn’t happen to nick my sonic out there, did you?”

 

“Nope,” she popped the p. “But I do have mine.”  She slipped it out of the sleeve of her jacket, winking.  

 

“My daughter has a very smart mum,” the Doctor praised, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

 

By the time the jailer returned, the Doctor and Rose had stolen back his sonic and were already back in the TARDIS.

 

Their daughter was a teenaged older sister of five before they attempted a return to Villengard.  (Villengardians were known for their long memories, so their children had to orchestrate their prison break on that trip.)

 

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