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Two-Bit shook off his nerves about reading this letter. He might hate Paul, but clearly he was part of Darry's story. At least part of the Darry he wanted to know. And he really wanted to know this side of the brunet, and so far, this was the only way he was going to get to know him.
"Dear Paul,
I have no idea why you're into me. I-"
Two-Bit slammed the notebook closed, swallowing. He hated this. He hated the fact that Paul was into Darry, and Darry seemed to be into him too. He hated everything about it. Paul didn't deserve Darry, Darry was kind and loyal and- and... And Two-Bit was acting like a jealous middle school girl. Darry and him weren't dating, he had no right to act like this.
This was part of Darry, and even though he'd never admit it to himself, he loved him. And he really just wanted Darry to be happy, if that could happen he could rest easy. Darry deserved to have someone who would make him happy, and he deserved to be happy in general.
He took another deep breath and opened the notebook once again. He started to scan the page before realizing the name on the page wasn't Paul's. It was a name that he had already seen. He flipped the page to see if he didn't go far enough, but he was surprised when he realized he was too far ahead in the notebook.
"Dear David,"
He was tempted to read the letter, but managed to tell himself that he needed to read the letters in order. He flipped back a few pages before finding Paul's letter again, picking up where he left off.
"I wish I could understand what you see in me. I just hope you can understand that I'm hesitant. The last time I dated someone, and really loved them, they died. Just understand if I have trouble being open with this whole thing, my past relationships haven't really been the best. I just hope you understand that. I hope you don't end in flames like the others did.
I really like you Paul. I want this to work, you have no idea how much I want us to work out. I hope maybe you can help me open up again, I hope you'll be patient with me. I know I'm not exactly the most open person in the world, I have trust issues. I don't think you'll cheat, but there'll always be this little voice in the back of my head that tells me that you'll leave me for someone else. I just want to be happy. Good god do I want to be happy.
It's weird, you know. Thinking about what it was like to be happy, I mean, I can still be happy. Like on happy occasions or moments, but there's always just this weight in my chest that won't let me be fully happy. And the panic attacks (yeah, I found a word for it) have been terrible. I dunno. I feel like I can't tell anyone, I mean, what do I have to complain about? My life's pretty good."
Two-Bit sighed, Darry had plenty to complain about. He just wanted to crawl through time and tell him it's okay to be depressed. He can't control his brain, hell, no one can. He shook his head, the blue eyed man went through way too much. He put up with too much, he deserved a break.
Two-Bit looked down at the notebook again, wanting to finish the letter.
"But, whatever. I'm just complaining. The whole point of this letter was to tell you about how I was glad to be with you. I really don't know how I ended up ranting aboutmy shitty mental health. Sorry about that, Paul. I know you wouldn't want to read about this. I mean, who would?
-Darry"
Two-Bit hit his head against the page. He wanted to read about it! And he wanted to hear about it from Darry. He wanted to help him. He just wanted to help Darry get better, and be happy again. He didn't know where all these feelings came from, but if he was being honest, they were a lot older than he wanted to admit.
He looked to the next page, wanting to read on. But he groaned and thumped his head against the book once again when he saw the name on the page. Him again? Really?
"Dear Paul"