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In his line of work, spontaneity is inevitable: from working around technical difficulties when it came to sound onstage to responding with perfect timing on interviews or variety shows. It’s a skillset that usually goes unspoken or even undermined. It’s what makes people like Momo and Mitsuki such a refreshing and highly demanded commodity in the industry. And, to his credit, he’s been learning to adapt, slowly trying to incorporate small bits of spontaneity and improvisation into his daily life to ease himself out of the rigidity of his high-bred upbringing and strict moral ethic.
He’s been learning, but it still doesn’t prevent Sougo from meticulously plotting out the perfect day for him and Ryuunosuke—and trying not to let his heart get washed away with the rain as it pours a literal damper onto his plans.
“Huh,” he hears Ryuunosuke say beside him, holding out his hand to feel at the drops, “I don’t remember it saying it was going to rain today.”
“I don’t think it was supposed to,” Sougo says quietly. It definitely wasn’t supposed to. He had checked the weather forecast both on the television and online for the past week to a nervously obsessive degree; both sources agreed on the one-hundred-percent outcome of clear skies and sun. Not even partially cloudy.
Maybe, somehow, it’s his fault. Maybe he hoped for too much—overestimated his own abilities and selfishly became confident that everything was going to go exactly as planned for once.
God, he didn’t even bring an umbrella.
“Sougo-kun?”
No matter how long it’s been since he last had to act as heir apparent, the instincts are still there. Sougo looks up to meet Ryuunosuke’s face, placid smile quickly plastered on like he’s not internally unraveling at a breakneck pace. “I’m fine, Tsunashi-san.”
He needs to be fine. He can’t afford to lose face now, when everything is going so well and the mood is gaining a very good momentum. So, his head tries to spit out contingencies, tries to find some way to get them back on track to Point B despite the fact that Point A is an already burning bridge ready to plummet into the cruel reality that Ryuunosuke will be put off or—even worse—disappointed by the end of all this.
“Sougo-kun,” Ryuunosuke says again, a little more firmly, as he places a gently hand on his shoulder. It’s the voice that gets Sougo to halt all his thoughts completely. The creases of the man’s brow soften into something reassuring, something that makes Sougo realize that Ryuunosuke has seen right through his carefully crafted display of composure. It’s the gesture of a good older brother, he also thinks. Is Ryuunosuke seeing him like that, right this moment? Like another brother? Before he can try to debate with himself about how it isn’t the time to spiral down into that dreadful rabbit hole, Ryuunosuke speaks again. “Want to just go?”
He blinks once. Twice. “Come again?”
“It’s not so bad. Not like a drizzle can hurt us, right?” Ryuunosuke holds his free hand out once more, catching the rain in a warm palm. Perfectly harmless.
“Oh. Right.” Hell, they had even performed out in the rain before—full choreography and everything—without any mishaps. But still, rings the tinny voice in his head like a beacon to all his faults. Sougo makes the executive decision to internally shove it into the backburner. He needs to focus on Ryuunosuke. Ryuunosuke should always get his full attention. “Um, did you have somewhere in mind, Tsunashi-san?”
A bout of silence greets his question, giving way to the steady stream of pirouetting pitter-patters from the raindrops. What follows is nervous laughter, soft as a sheepish smile accompanies it.
“I mean, my place is around here.”
Oh.
“But we don’t have to be in any rush or anything!” Ryuunosuke adds, starting to realize the flirtatious undertones of the suggestion. Not like Sougo would even dare assume that Ryuunosuke has any intentions of the sort. Trigger’s erotic beast and Japan’s Third Most Desired Embrace could do leagues better than a loose-limbed, pale-shadowed guy like him. He steps out from beneath the awning, allowing the rain to seep through his clothes, his hat, his skin. Smiling from beneath the mask, he beckons Sougo to follow. “I just thought, you know, while the rain’s still not too bad or anything, it would be quicker than running to the station or…”
(Tamaki’s voice breaks through the storm inside his head and says, “Sou-chan, if you want it, then just get it.”
If he tries hard enough, he can almost imagine the pouting lips and hands on hips that would pair with such a simple lecture.
“Hurry up already, Sou-chan!”)
The rain picks up a little more—just enough to really be inconvenient. Few people litter the streets, even with umbrellas in hand. Hardly any cars are on the road. Now is as good a time as ever.
“Tsunashi-san.”
“Um, yes?”
Sougo takes a deep breath before looking up to him with as much resolve as he can muster and boldly taking his hand. “Let’s go!”
He sets off first, all but dragging a stumbling Ryuunosuke down the crosswalk before the light changes. It doesn’t take long for his companion to catch up with a few long strides and lead him to their destination with a relieved laugh.
Is this what it’s like to just release one’s inhibitions? (Wasn’t there a song that went like that? With rain involved? It feels like there was.) The way the shallow puddles sounded at the rhythm of his footsteps, the grime of stress being washed away as wet splatters beat against his face, the breathlessness of just running to get to Point B rather than worrying about what to do when he arrives there—is this what he’d been missing out on his entire life? Maybe it’s just the adrenaline making his imagination run too wild, but Sougo can’t deny the thrill thrumming beneath his soaked skin.
There’s hardly a living creature in sight by the time they crossed into the streets of Ryuunosuke’s downtown home. It’s a few minutes shy of being a downpour, if the clouds overhead had been any indication. Still, they look at each other as they finally reach the door, their hands separating to rest on their knees as they catch their breaths.
“Just in time,” Ryuunosuke says, eyes crinkling into happy half-moons. It’s a face that Sougo has the honor of seeing, knowing that it’s reserved for the people close to him. Those shining eyes, pulling the corners of his lips into a gentle smile, the dripping ends of his hair like he had been borne of the sea he cherishes so dearly. “Hang tight, Sougo-kun, let me just get my keys…”
“Um, Tsunashi-san…”
“Hm?”
Sougo wants to keep the momentum going, let the rush carry him through with the image in his head not unlike a movie: where he reaches out to twine their fingers together before pulling Ryuunosuke down enough to kiss him. He wants to keep continue with this practice in spontaneity with the inner Tamaki of his mind all but egging him on to DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!
Propriety wins out. His hand falters and his lips politely return the smile as the door is unlocked. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”
(“Dammit, Sou-chan.”
Yes, he knows. Next time, he promises, definitely next time.
“You better. Or else.”)
Once they cross the threshold into Ryuunosuke’s home, it’s back to clockwork. The lesson abruptly ends. Sougo is all the more conscious about what’s going to happen now that they’re beyond Point B—fretting with a professional finesse honed from years of reading the atmosphere from various interviews and talk shows about how he’ll proceed with this outing to make it as enjoyable for Ryuunosuke as possible.
Next time, Sougo tells himself. If the opportunity presents itself again, then he will most definitely jump at the chance. There will definitely be time to steel himself until then.
…Except there isn’t: Ryuunosuke texts him a few days later asking to try again when the weather is supposed to be better and ‘next time’ turns out to be ‘next week.’
To his credit, Sougo is a very quick study. He doesn’t extensively plan for this venture. He doesn’t worry about Points A, B, C, whatever bullet points he should hit. He doesn’t even bat an eyelash when, yet again, the clouds roll in and set the drizzles loose. He only laughs with Ryuunosuke under the awning of another restaurant at the déjà vu of the situation.
“Sougo-kun, my place is nearby if you want to run for it.”
He swallows the hesitation before it has a chance to creep up and says, “Yes, let’s go!”
Maybe it’s because he’s already done this a week prior, but Sougo takes their mad dash in stride despite the people still milling about on the streets who start to open their umbrellas expectantly. Somewhere along the way, his and Ryuunosuke’s hands find each other.
They reach the familiar door in just a few minutes. Unlike before, their hands are still connected with no signs of separation as Ryuunosuke goes to get his home keys from his pocket. Drizzle turns into rain.
Ah, Sougo thinks, this might be it.
“Tsunashi-san?”
“Hm?”
In his line of work, spontaneity is inevitable. As a human being, spontaneity is inevitable—and a character that, if properly executed, can yield incredible results.
(And, well, the Inner Tamaki is also being very persistent about upholding promises because Hey, you said next time for real. So, fuck it. Go time.
“Whoa, Sou-chan swore!”
He did. He doesn’t really care, not when he has Ryuunosuke’s lips against his own and a strong pair of arms wrapping around his waist to take Sougo even deeper.)