Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Beacon Academy has been quiet since the Breach in Vale happened a few weeks ago. Students still arriving from the other Kingdoms, Atlas providing "security" over Vale with his fleet, and the teachers supervising hunter teams with training or small-scale missions, all but two, Teams RWBY & JNPR.

Ruby Rose was searching through YouTube for weapons on her scroll until she saw a playlist titled "Dragon Ball Z Abridged" from "Team Four Stars", filled with 60 episodes, 8 movies, 2 'in a nutshell' videos and 2 special videos.

"Hey guys, I've found this... series? on YouTube and it looks like an action comedy, so do you want to watch it?" Ruby questioned to her teammates.

"I'm game," Ruby's sister, Yang Xiao Long, answered, "as long as I get new jokes material if this is an action comedy."

"Well, we have nothing better to do." Ruby's partner, Weiss Schnee, inquired.

"I don't see why not," the cat Faunas, Blake Belladonna, stated as she was reading from her book, "and besides, we're still recovering her our mission from Mountain Glenn and the Breach incident."

"Oh, I'll go and ask it Jaune's team can watch it with us." the leader speeded off like a bullet.

A few minutes later

"Is everyone ready?" the crimsonette questioned as both teams RWBY & JNPR were sitting either on the floor or on Blake's or Weiss' beds. With Jaune and Pyrrha sitting next to each other on Blake's bed with Blake herself sitting opposite of Pyrrha. While Ren and Nora were on Weiss' bed. And finally Weiss, Ruby and Yang are sitting on the floor with bean bags, courtesy of Yang and Jaune.

"Alright, lets begin!"

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

"Wait, so this isn't owned by these 'Team Four Stars' guys?" Weiss and Blake questioned in unison.

"Apparently not." Yang stated.

(Scene opens up showing mountains followed by showing many wildlife until a Saiyan Space Pod comes crashing down at a distance, startling many ostriches and a farmer.)

FARMER: Oh God, no! My marijuana patch! I mean, er... my carrot patch... yeah! (thinking while driving towards the explosion) I better do what any sensible Middle American would do in this situation: (pulls out a rifle) Get mah gun!

(Space Pod opens up in a shiny light and Raditz emerges)

SPACE POD: Hello, and welcome to Earth... With open bar.

FARMER: Holy crap, it’s Sonic the Hedgeho-- Eh, no, it’s an alien! Holy sh**, it’s an alien!

"W-was that a game character reference?" Jaune asked.

"Indeed it was, vomit boy." Yang joked with a dead old joke.

"Please stop with that name." the blond leader muttered.

RADITZ: Finally on this dead plan-- (notices teeming wildlife) Wait... What the crap? Did Kakarrot screw this up? Oh god dammit, I knew we should’ve sent Turles.

FARMER: Better think of something cool to say to make him stop! (cocks shotgun while Raditz scans him with his scouter) Hey, you! (thinking to himself) Heh, genius farmer, genius!

RADITZ: Aw, look at him. He thinks he’s people. What’s your power level, little human? (checks his power level with scouter) Five, huh?

FARMER: Protect me, gun! (fires a shot at Raditz, who catches the bullet with his hand)

RADITZ: Hey! No! Bad human! (flings the bullet back at the farmer, sending him flying at towards his truck and killing him)

FARMER: (extreme quickly while flying towards his truck) Gah, I voted for Bush!

RADITZ: Bad! Now get back up and tell me you’re sorry! Human? Huuuman? (sighs) So this is why Dad said I couldn’t keep Appule...

"My Oum, he's so evil he's not aloud to have pets!" Ruby shouted

"Thank Oum Zewi isn't hear or he would have ran off crying." Yang stated as Blake's cat ears twitched behind her bow at the mentioning of 'Zewi'.

(opening sequence; scene shifts to a wasteland, where Piccolo is standing on top of a pleateau)

PICCOLO: Good ol’ wasteland! Yep! Sure is some kickass training!... Dammit, I’m lonely. Might as well check MySpace. (opens up his MySpace page) No new comments... No friend requests... Dammit. Well at least I have you, Tom. You’re always there for me.

"That could of been you in the Ruby." Yang laughed because of her little sister's anti-social behaviour.

"Yang! I get it you can stop now!" the scythe-wielder shouted out of annoyance.

RADITZ: Hey! You!

PICCOLO: What the hell?

RADITZ: Are you Kakarrot? Seriously if you are, stay still! I need to talk to you about killing and selling this planet! It’s really important! Oh, wait a second; you’re not Kakarrot. My bad!

"This guy must have really terrible at seduction." Blake chuckled.

PICCOLO: I’ve got green skin, pointy ears and a turban. Oh yeah, I must look like so many other people!

"So what is he then?" Weiss questioned

RADITZ: Oh, a smartass, huh? I don’t appreciate smartasses. Prepare yourself for my signature attack: Double Sun--

(Screen suddenly turns monochrome and the scene pauses)

VEGETA3986: No!

LANIPATOR: Huh?

VEGETA 3986: Give me the mic!

LANIPATOR: What--? No--come on, man!

VEGETA3986: Dude-- Give me the mic!

(A picture of the original DragonBall appears on screen with the words 'We are experiencing technical difficulties' superimposed over the top and bottom.)

LANIPATOR: It’s a real attack na--

VEGETA3986: NO IT ISN’T!

LANIPATOR: Fine! Here, take it. I’ll just go practice my Vegeta. Ass!

(Scene rewinds and starts over)

Ruby, Yang, Nora and Jaune laughed for its mid-video interruption.

RADITZ: (in a different voice) Now prepare yourself for my signature attack: Keep Your Eye on the Bir-- (scouter beeps) Oooh! A higher power level!

(Raditz flies higher in the air and looks around)

PICCOLO: (off-screen) Hey! What the hell! Weren’t you going to kill me?

RADITZ: Ah, there we go. Considering the average set by this one green guy and that farmer, the chances of this being Kakarrot are-- Dah, screw it, I’ll just go and check!

(Raditz flies off)

PICCOLO: Fine! Go ahead! I didn’t want your company anyway! Right Tom?

"Well, that happened." Pyrrha said in confused tone.

(scene changes to Kame House with Bulma's ship arriving and Bulma walking towards the front door)

BULMA: Hey, I’m here!

KRILLIN: BOOBS! I mean, Bulma!.... Hi!

"Is anyone else creeped out by that old mans facials expression?" Ruby said as she slowly cowarded behind here red cape, and everyone agreed to her question in the process.

BULMA: Oooooooookaaaaaaaay, how’s it going?

MASTER ROSHI: I’m drinking OJ! (cup changes to brown) Now it’s apple juice! (cup changes to orange) Now it’s beer! Yay beer! (chugs down beer)

"Wait, how can that happen?" Jaune asked with confusion to which everyone ignored. 

KRILLIN: So where’s Yamcha?

BULMA: I think the bastard’s cheating on me!

KRILLIN: Why do you say that?

(flashback of Bulma walking in on Yamcha)

YAMCHA: (appears as a silhouette) Bulma! It’s not what it looks li-- oh okay, it’s totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? Please? Before this I was living in the desert. Oh, and did you change Puar’s litterbox yet?

"If he lived in a desert for so long, then how is he still alive?" Weiss asked, knowing that Vacuo has some uninhabitable areas and even Menagerie's deserts aren't even explored because of its insane heat.

PUAR: (appears as a silhouette) I made boom-boom!

(back to present)

KRILLIN: Oh, are you serious? Yamcha? Oh, that is so out of char-- so you’re single then?

"Really subtle way to change a subject." Blake said sarcastically.

(Goku jumps off Nimbus walks towards the front door)

GOKU: Hey guys!

(Bulma opens the door with Krillin running up after her)

BULMA: Goku!

KRILLIN: TAIL-- eh, wait, what?

(Goku laughs and holds up his arm)

BULMA: Uh Goku. I can’t help but notice that five-year-old you’re carrying.

KRILLIN: Goku, just because we picked you up in the middle of the woods when you were a kid doesn’t mean you can go around stealing children.

"So he was raised in some woods throw out his childhood." Ren inquistened.

"That's upsetting." Pyrrha said as Jaune tries to comfort her.

GOKU: Erm, okay. (places Gohan on the ground) This is actually my son.

(Krillin, Bulma and Master Roshi are shocked along with the head of M. Night Shyamalan popping up)

M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: What a twist!

BULMA: Oh wow! I guess this means you finally, you know.

GOKU: Know what?

MASTER ROSHI: (appearing right next to Goku) You know, "Bow chicka wow wow."

GOKU: (completely oblivious) What are those noises you’re making?

"Wait, so he doesn't know what sex is?" a very shocked Yang said with wide eyes.

Yaaang~ That's gross!" Ruby gagged.

BULMA, MASTER ROSHI: (thinking simultaneously) Oh my God, he’s a parent!

KRILLIN: So when’s the little guy gonna start training?

(Gohan is seen playing with Turtle)

GOKU: Actually, Chi-Chi is making him study. She wants him to grow up and be... what’s it called?

KRILLIN: A productive and responsible member of society?

GOKU: Yeah-- lame, that’s it! (to Gohan) Hey son, come here! (Gohan runs towards Goku) Stop playing with the turtle! We don’t need people saying things...

"I don't think that people judge little kids wanting to play an animal like a turtle." Nora chuckled.

"You'll be surprised, Nora." Blake responded.

BULMA: Hey, is that a Dragon Ball on his head? Doesn’t that sorta make him a target for villains who might want them?

"That is actually the most dumbest thing. Ever. Of all time." Weiss stated.

GOKU: Aw, come on. I beat Piccolo. I’m strong enough to beat anyone who-- (senses a disturbance) holy black on a Popo, what is that?!

"The hell is a 'Popo'?" Blake asked with confusion.

"I don't know but for some reason I don't want to find out." Jaune answered.

MASTER ROSHI: What’s wrong?

GOKU: I just felt a power level bigger than... than... Krillin’s losing streak!

"How is that a thing!?" Weiss inquistened.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) ...You know, you guys are the reason I go to therapy...

GOKU: (thinks) He’s getting closer!

KRILLIN: Shouldn’t we grab Gohan and put him insi-- (Raditz flies down in front of the group) Oh son of a...

"Language." Yang snapped. 

RADITZ: It took me a while to get here, but I finally found you, Kakarrot.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: That’s right, that’s your name.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: The name you were given before we sent you to this planet!

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: Yooouuu... hit your head as a child, didn’t you?

(flashback of Goku banging his head as a baby)

Everyone winched as they witnessed Baby Goku hitting his head.

GOKU: ...What?

RADITZ: Oh for god’s sakes, listen! (display montage of Goku's Space Pod travelling to Earth and a group of Saiyans) You were sent here as a child to take over the planet. You’re part of a dead race of intergalactic super warriors called the Saiyans. And to top off this expositional onslaught; I... am your brother!

"Well it explains somethings up." Ruby stated with a shocked expression on the 'I'm your brother' bomb-drop.

(Shows the shocked faces of Goku, Bulma, Krillin, and Master Roshi. A crab falls off a tree in total surprise)

KRILLIN: So you’re his brother, huh? (walks up towards Raditz) Wow, that must mean you’ll be involved in lots of future events, right? Right?

(Raditz hits Krillin with his tail, sending him flying straight into Kame House)

(Krillin Owned Count: 1)

"Oh, so that's how it works." Ruby muttered to Weiss.

KRILLIN: What did I say?

GOKU: Hey! Stop hitting Krillin!

RADITZ: Why?

GOKU: Because you’re breaking Kame House!

KRILLIN: (offscreen, weakly) Yeah... Stop breaking Kame House...

"I don't see much purpose for that home." Jaune said without even knowing it has a big purpose in the future.

GOKU: So, what are you here for? The Dragon Balls?

RADITZ: The... the dragon’s what?

GOKU: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want-- like immortality?

OOLONG: Or Bulma’s panties!

"What the heck!? A TALKING PIG!" Ruby shouted as Yang tried to calm her down.

"Out of all that exposition of 'wish-granting orbs', a pig is what catches your attention?" Weiss question with disappointment on her face.  

(cuts to Vegeta and Nappa on an unknown planet)

NAPPA: Vegeta, did you hear that?

VEGETA: Oh yeah, we’re totally going to Earth to get our wish!

NAPPA: Yeah, we’re gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality is what I meant, right Vegeta?

VEGETA: ...Just get in the damn pod!

(cuts back to Kame House. Raditz walks towards Kame House while Bulma picks up Gohan and moves away.)

RADITZ: No... I’m here for you, Kakarrot.

GOKU: So, what are we gonna do? See a ballgame? Catch a movie?

"That sound like fun!" Nora gleed.

RADITZ: We’re going to kill everyone on the planet and then sell it for profit to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed our own planet. (scene shows a planet flashing and then exploding)

"That does not look fun." Jaune gulped. 

GOKU: Oh. Well, uh, I sorta like people here, so with all due respect-- (Raditz knees Goku in the stomach, sending him flying and screaming as he comes crashing down into the ground)

GOHAN: (runs towards Goku) Daddy!

RADITZ: (walks up and grabs Gohan) I’ll be taking this! Yoink! (flies away holding Gohan in his arm)

GOKU: (weakly) Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Dammit, Krillin!

KRILLIN: Hey! I was bitch-slapped through a house! What’s your excuse?!

GOKU: I was kneed in the stomach!

(Krillin gasps and looks into the sky)

PICCOLO: You guys are pathetic! (Goku gasps while everyone looks at the sky and stares at Piccolo) ...What?

"How long has he been there for?" Pyrrha questioned but with no answer.

(Piccolo lands in front of the group)

GOKU: Aw jeez... Hey look, I know you totally wanna kill me and all, but today's kind of a bad day. My brother just showed up, turns out I’m an alien, he stole my kid!

PICCOLO: Oh yeah; I was watching that! That was priceless! (Piccolo starts laughing while Krillin and Master Roshi stare at him in disbelief) ...Sorry for your loss.

"That mood swig is almost on pars with Nora's." Ren muttered to which the ginger hair smiled with a huge grin.

GOKU: Yeah. Anyway, wanna help me get him back?

PICCOLO: Whyyyyy?

GOKU: I’ll friend you on MySpace!

(Piccolo stares blanky at Goku and then the scene suddenly shifts to Goku and Piccolo flying towards Raditz)

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts) Tom, you’ve been replaced!

"Wow, he ditches Tom for, whats his name, Carrot?" Yang questioned.

"He goes by Goku but his real name is spelled like 'Kakarrot'." Blake answered.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

(Master Roshi is seen holding a Crunch bar)

MASTER ROSHI: Now it’s a Nestlé Crunch bar! (Crunch bar turns into a gummi bear) Now it’s a gummi bear! (gummi bear turns into Nappa's head) Now it’s Nappa!

"What the hell!?" everyone shouted in shock.

NAPPA: Wait, what the hell?

"Well, that was the first episode, what are you're guys opinions on it?" Ruby asked with positive optimism.

"It is terrible, the voice acting is off, the animation and art style is very old, and its started off slow." Weiss answer.

"It was a little funny, hardly any action, maybe in the next episode but so far, I liked it." Yang stated with a thumbs up.

"I have to be with Weiss on this one, but I'm willing to see how better it gets." Blake said.

"I liked it!" Nora shouted.

"Me too." Ren said in a calm voice.

"Agreed on that." both Jaune and Pyrrha stated in unison.

"Alright then, to the next episode!"

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene opens up with Goku and Piccolo flying through the air trying to track down Raditz)

GOKU: Hey Piccolo. Mind if I ask you somethin’?

PICCOLO: What is it?

GOKU: You’re not human either, right?

"And he now notices that he's not human." Blake whispered sarcastically. 

PICCOLO: Yeah...

GOKU: And your dad spit you out as an egg, right?

"That sounds gross." Weiss grinned with a disgusted face.

PICCOLO: What about it?

GOKU: Are... Are you a Yoshi?

Everyone nearly died from laughter from Goku's questioning.

(Piccolo gives an annoyed look at Goku)

PICCOLO: (sarcastically) ...Yes, Goku. I’m a green f**king dinosaur!

GOKU: Can... Can I ride you?

They continue to laugh from Goku's questioning.

(Piccolo lets out an annoyed groan)

(opening sequence; scene shifts to a crying Gohan and Raditz)

RADITZ: Shut up. I said, shut up! SHUT UP! Damn it, why isn’t screaming angrily making you cry less?! I’m going to put you in the time-out pod. (puts Gohan in his Space Pod and closes the door) (thinking) Thank sweet merciful God that’s over. (out loud) Now I can just sit back and—(scouter beeps) ...beat the crap out of whoever’s coming. (sighs) ...Great.

"Is this where we finally get to see some action!?" Yang shouted as she raises her fists in front of her face with excitement.

"Most likely, sis." Ruby confirmed.

(Raditz looks into the sky and sees Goku and Piccolo come flying down)

GOKU: Raditz! Give me back my son! (jumps off Nimbus) Wheeeeee!

"You know, I want to have a flying yellow cloud thing." Ruby said with sparkles in her eyes. Yang and Jaune agreed with her.

RADITZ: So, you’re here already. And I see you brought the Namekian as well.

"Wait, so he's an Namekian. What on Remnant is a Namekian?" Weiss demanded only to be calmed down by Pyrrha.

GOKU: A-actually, that hasn’t been explained yet.

RADITZ: Oh. Well, it’s not like anyone cares about him anyway.

"I beg to differ." the ice queen backfired.

(Piccolo removes his cape and grabs his turban)

PICCOLO: Well screw you too!

GOKU: Piccolo, you use weighted training clothes as well?

PICCOLO: (sarcastically) No, Goku. I just love to get naked when I’m around you. (drops his turban)

RADITZ: (thinking) Their power level is rising! (out loud) So, nudity makes you stronger on this planet! (unzips his pants)

"Uh, what?" Ruby asked confusingly.

"Rubies, you don't want to know." Yang quickly said as she raps her little sister in her right arm, very protectively.

GOKU: Uh... no. We’re wearing weighted clothing.

RADITZ: (quickly zips up his pants and crosses his arms) Oh... Of course! Because that would be ridiculous! (laughs nervously)

PICCOLO: ...So that hair does compensate for something.

(Phil Sebben's head pops up)

PHIL SHEBBEN: Ha ha! Dangly parts.

"Gross!" Ruby & Weiss shouted in unison.

RADITZ: SHUT UP! (quickly dashes behind Goku and Piccolo and elbows both of them, knocking them off their feet.)

PICCOLO: Okay, what the hell was that?

GOKU: I don’t know! But let’s try it again... from behind!

(Goku and Piccolo tries to attack Raditz from behind, who counterattacks by kicking at both of them, knocking them away)

PICCOLO: We really shouldn’t be announcing our attack strategy!

GOKU: Rush him! (leaps towards Raditz)

PICCOLO: Damn it, Goku! (also rushes towards Raditz) Will you at least try to dodge this one?!

GOKU: Dodge what? (Raditz fires his Double Sunday attack) OH GEEZ!

(Goku manages to dodges the blast, but Piccolo isn't as lucky as he loses his left arm)

GOKU: Ha! You missed me!

(Raditz appears behind Goku)

RADITZ: My bad. (kicks Goku, knocking him away)

GOKU: (thinks) Note to self: Less talky, more fighty. Everyone agrees to that statement. (Slowly gets up and look towards Piccolo) Hey Piccolo. We may be taking a beating, but at least we managed to dodge that one. (Piccolo gets up with blood dripping from his severed arm) High fi-IIIIIEEEEE!! Uh... handsha—... thumbs u—... G-good job!

RADITZ: Ha ha! Aaaahaha! Aaaahaha! Aw, excuse me, has anyone seen my arm? You can’t miss it, it’s green! Ha ha ha!

PICCOLO: Yeah... Anyway, listen. I’ve got one more attack that should do it. Upside is, I can use it with one arm.

GOKU: And what’s the downside?

PICCOLO: You’ll have to distract him while I charge it...

"I sense that there's a catch." Blake inquistered.

GOKU: That’s not too bad—

PICCOLO: For five minutes. And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one and—ah, never mind, I’m sure you can handle it.

"There it is." the cat Faunas confirmed her catch.

GOKU: Wow. You really have that much faith in me?

PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Why not?

GOKU: Well then, I won’t disappoint you. (dashes towards Raditz) Here goes nothing! Haaaaagggghhh! Ready or not, here I—(gets attacked by Raditz while the screen shifts to Piccolo) aaaaahhh!

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts; singing the tune of “Mahna Mahna” while Goku is getting beaten senselessly by Ratitz)♪Mahna Mahna do doo be-do-do. Mahna Mahna do do-do do. Mahna Mahna do doo de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do de-do-do Ima chargin’ my attack.♪

"I want that for my ring tone for my Scroll." Nora drooled.

(Scene changes Goku getting the upper hand by grabbing Raditz's tail.)

GOKU: Ha! Got your tail!

RADITZ: Please let me go?

GOKU: Well, since you asked nicely...

(Goku lets go of Raditz's tail; who thanks him by kicking him away)"

Goku seems to nice to be a fighter for his own good." Jaune stated to which Pyrrha smiled at Jaune's statement.

PICCOLO: (in his thoughts while Goku recieves another senseless beating from Raditz offscreen) Perhaps on second thought, a whole five-minute startup time for an attack is pretty abysmal in terms of usability in battle.

"Gee, you think!?" Weiss sarcastically shouted.

GOKU: (offscreen) Piccolo help! (scene changes to Goku grabbing Radiz’s tail again) Ha! Got your tail...! Again!

RADITZ: Please let go?

GOKU: I’m not falling for that again!

RADITZ: Pretty please let me go?

GOKU: (once again lets go of Raditz's tail) Well.... (Raditz elbows Goku, knocking him away) Oooh! Ow! Spine! (Raditz stomps on Goku's ribs) Ow! Ribs! Definitely ribs!

"Wow, I don't know who's more guilable, Goku or Jaune." Yang chuckled.

"Hey."

RADITZ: Aha! Attacking an opponent roughly four times your strength in a one-on-one battle. A cunning strategy! No, no, no, not cunning. What’s the opposite of that?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) Retarded?

RADITZ: That’s it, thank you! Now, disregarding the Namekian, I—

GOKU: Uh-uh! A Yoshi!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) I’m not a god damn Yoshi!

GOKU: But you said you were!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) It’s called sarcasm!

GOKU: What’s that taste like?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) Damn it Goku!

(Raditz crushes Goku's ribs)

RADITZ: STOP IGNORING ME!!!

GOKU: Aaah my ribs! I think you broke my...mmmmmm ribs.

"I-is he thinking about food in the middle of a battle?" Pyrrha questioned.

"Well, his it seems that he doesn't have a lot of brain cells, so it won't be surprising." Weiss gestured.

"I got a better question, for someone so stupid how did he get layed?" Blake question which led to everyone stop to think on how that happened.

RADITZ: Uggggh. (stomps on Goku's ribs three more times and prepares to kill him) Stop! Ignoring! Me! AND DIE!!! (scouter beeps) Huh?

GOHAN: Stop beating up my daddy! (breaks out of Raditz's Space Pod)

(Gohan rushes towards Raditz)

"Whow!" Everyone shouted in shock as they witnessed a 5 year old child to burst out of a space pod.

RADITZ: Nooo, my Space Pod—(Gohan headbutts Raditz) Augh! My space armor!

PICCOLO: (offscreen) We get it, you’re from space!

(Gohan lands next to Goku)

GOKU: G-Gohan. (GOHAN: Huh?) What... was that?

GOHAN: (gets up) Daddy!

GOKU: No-no, seriously. What the hell was that? We were getting slaughtered out there, and you could do that—(Gohan looks behind and notices Raditz) Oh, crap.

RADITZ: (approaches a frightened Gohan) Uncle Raditz is PISSED!!! (smacks Gohan, which the screen pauses upon impact)

KAISERNEKO: We here at Team Four Star do not condone child violence. We do, however, find it hilarious.

Nora and Yang laughed at the disclaimer.

(Screen unpauses as Gohan is sent flying by Raditz's attack)

But stopped when they so Gohan been sent flying from a single hit.

GOKU: Wait, hold on!

RADITZ: Oh, what? Mister Shattered Ribs is going to stop me? (begins walking towards Gohan)

GOKU: Listen, you don’t understand! Nothing you could do could ever compare to what Chi-Chi would do to me if she found out he died!

(Raditz begins charging up a Ki blast at Gohan)

RADITZ: Well, sucks to be you!

GOKU: (thinking) I don’t have any choice. I have to use my last technique!

RADITZ: NOW DIE!!! (prepares to kill Gohan)

(Goku grabs Raditz from behind)

GOKU: Full Nelson!

RADITZ: A Full Nelson? That won’t work on me! I’m Raditz! (tries to break free but can't) Hurghhurgh! ...Okay, let go! (continues trying to break free, but no avail) Hurrrggrrrg! Seriously, this is starting to piss me off!

GOKU: Piccolo!

PICCOLO: Ready!

GOKU: Good! Just make sure you give me a signal before you fire that thing! I’m right behind him!

PICCOLO: Oh sure; I’ll give you a signal. It’ll be the last signal you’ll ever get!

(scene shifts to Goku as Piccolo laughs evilly offscreen)

GOKU: Well, okay. As long as we’re clear on that.

PICCOLO: MAKANSA—... MAKAKASAPOP—... MEKKASAPPA—... (groans) Oh, to hell with it. SPECIAL BEAM CANNON! (fires the Special Beam Cannon at Goku and Raditz)

"He can't even get his attack name correctly." Weiss signed.

GOKU: Is that what you’re going to yell out when you— (Special Beam Cannon pierces through both Goku and Raditz) OH GOD!!!

MOUNTAIN CLIMBER: Riiiiiicolaaaa— (blast hits mountain) AAAAAUUUUGH!!!

(both Goku and Raditz hit the ground, fatally wounded)

RADITZ: Damn it! And there was no way I could have gotten out of there!

PICCOLO: You know, you could’ve flown.

RADITZ: Damn you, hindsiiiiight! Bleh. (dies)

"That death seemed anti-climatic." Blake said blandly.

(Piccolo looks up in the sky and notices a ship heading towards the battlefield.)

KRILLIN: (from ship) Goku! After several hours of debating, we decided you might need us— (notices both Goku's and Raditz's damaged bodies) ah, crap!

"Seriously? They arrive after the fight is over! What were they doing?" Norn muttered to Ren.

(scene shifts to Krillin holding Goku's hand while Piccolo and Master Roshi watch)

KRILLIN: Goku! You can’t die! Here, I brought a Senzu Bean!

GOKU: (dying) I don’t think that’s gonna work.

KRILLIN: Why not?

GOKU: (dying) I sort of have a hole in my esophagus.

"Then how are you still breathing?" Jaune questioned.

KRILLIN: Wait, then how are you breathing? (Goku slowly closes his eyes and dies) ...Goku? ...Goku? Holy crap... I’m not the first person to die in this series!

"Wow! Too soon." Yang & Nora shouted.

MASTER ROSHI: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

MASTER ROSHI: Too soon!

BULMA: I can’t believe he’s gone.

PICCOLO: Yeah, pity that. RRRRRRAAAAHHH!!! (regenerates his left arm)

"Holy Oum, that's extremely gross!" Blake gagged like she was about to vomit.

KRILLIN: (runs up to Piccolo) Wait, what the hell? You can regenerate?

PICCOLO: Yeah. And you know what else?

KRILLIN: What?

PICCOLO: (quickly) I’m taking Gohan. Bye! (flies off with Gohan)

KRILLIN: Quick! Somebody stop him! (crickets chirp in silence) Damn it Roshi!

MASTER ROSHI: Shut up, Krillin!

(Krillin Owned Count: 2)

KRILLIN: Aww...

"Does anyone feel kinda bad for Krillin because of his 'Owned Count'?" Jaune asked with Pyrrha answering for him.

"I mean, little bit, but he can still prove himself useful as the series goes on."

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

GOKU: Gohan, do a Headbutt!

(in the style of Pokémon)

GOHAN: Gooooo-HAN!

"Gohan used Headbutt!"

(Gohan headbutts Raditz)

"It was super-effective!"

"A Pokemon reference, that's classic." Jaune laughed, as did Ruby and Yang.

"Just get the next video up you dolt." Weiss insulted. and Ruby did just that.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene opens up with Krillin, Master Roshi, and Bulma lamenting over the loss of Goku.)

MASTER ROSHI: Well, Goku has passed. But his sacrifice has stopped a great evil. (Krillin picks up Gohan's hat) Thanks to him, our lives can return to peace once more.

"I want to agree with you old man, but its too early for that." Ruby said under her breathe to not shock her teammates.

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Raaditz? Raaaaaditz?

(Krillin and Bulma look at Raditz's scouter.)

MASTER ROSHI: What the hell is that?

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Guy-who's-as-strong-as-a-Saibaman says "What?" ...That usually gets to him; I think he's dead, Vegeta.

VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Big shocker! Nobody cares! We're ten times stronger than him anyway! We'll go to Earth, find the Dragon Balls, and kill everyone! And we'll be there within a year or so—depending on filler, of course.

"I guess they don't like Raditz all too much." Ren stated with curiosity as to why they hate him.

NAPPA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Anything else we need to go over, Vegeta?

VEGETA: (speaking through Raditz's scouter) Nnnope, that's about it.

MASTER ROSHI: Well, fu—

"Language." Yang snapped.

(opening sequence)

(Scene shifts to a wasteland where Piccolo is talking to Gohan.)

PICCOLO: Alright, you little human... Saiyan... thing. I saw what you did to that Saiyan back there; that kind of power can be useful.

"Wouldn't he be considered a half-breed?" Ruby asked Weiss.

"I'm surprised that you used the word 'half-breed', but yes, he would."

GOHAN: Wh-what do you mean?

PICCOLO: I'm going to make you my pupil. And then, I'll use YOU for my conquest to take over the world.

"We never got to why Piccolo wants to dominate the world. Hope it explains why." Blake hoped because of the lack of information the series is giving.

GOHAN: But-but where's my daddy?

PICCOLO: Hate to tell you, kid, but your dad's dead! ...Actually I kind of like saying that. Haha! Your dad's dead—(Gohan starts crying) Ah. Damn it. This is why I hang out in wastelands...

"He's not very 'father' material, is he?" Pyrrha question with Weiss answering with.

"At least he's better than my father." Which made everyone eye at her with concern.

"You want to talk about it?" Ruby offered to which Weiss rejects with a silent 'no'.

(Scene changes to the front of the Check-In Station.)

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (through bullhorn) Hello! Welcome to the heavenly Check-In Station! Please no cutting in line! If you are caught cutting in line, you will be sent straight to Hell!

"What, that's the afterlife?" Jaune asked rhetorically with amazement. But saw Ruby looked away from the screen because of remembering her.

(Scene shifts to inside Yemma's office. Kami is seen touching Goku's shoulder while talking in a wheezy voice.)

KAMI: And so, we need Goku here to get to King Kai's for his masterful training, Lord Yemma.

KING YEMMA: Give me one good reason I should allow this.

KAMI: Because, if you don't, (camera cuts the entrance of Yemma's office showing a group of dead souls along with an attendant) that line’s going increase by six billion!

"Six billion? That's like Remnant's population times by three!" Weiss calculated with utter shock.

KING YEMMA: Six billion?! I'm supposed to be intimidated by six billion?! Please, I can judge six billion souls faster than you take a piss, old man!

"That's a burn for the AGES." Yang punned with pride. With her teammates keep telling her to stop but fell on deaf ears.

KAMI: You know, I am the guardian of Earth. Can I please get a little bit more respect here?

"How can an old man be the 'Guardian of Earth', also is he like Piccolo's grandad or something?" Ruby wondered.

KING YEMMA: Big deal! I'm the closest thing to a God in this show—until you get to the Kais—then, I'll be horribly insignificant. I do have a desk though! It's made of mahogany! Ma-ho-gany.

"Wait, so there are different levels of being a god? How does that work?" Blake questioned.

KAMI: Uhhhh anyway, can we please—

KING YEMMA: SILENCE!!!

(both Goku and Kami are surprised and keeps quiet)

KING YEMMA: (whispering) Mahogany.

"Is 'mahogany' even a word?" Nora smiled with a snarky grin.

KAMI: Umm... Sir?

KING YEMMA: Wh-what? Oh-uh sure, whatever. He can go to King Kai's, but he'll have to run on (in an echoing voice) SNAAAAKE WAAAAY!!! (sound clip from "Gustav Holst's Mars: the Bringer of War" plays)

GOKU: Sounds fun!

KING YEMMA: Prepare to be surprised.

GOKU: (nods) Alright, I'm off! (begins to leave but stops) Oh wait. By the way, did you see a guy named Raditz come through here? (King Yemma begins flipping pages from a book) He has spiky hair and a tail?

KING YEMMA: Oh yeah, I remember that guy. I put him in my patented Yammalock!

GOKU: And it worked?

"I don't think so." Weiss stated with her opinion.

KING YEMMA: F**K NO! He kicked me in the balls and ran away! Now I don't know where he is!

They laughed at when he said 'F**K NO!'.

(Scene cuts away to Raditz with a halo.)

RADITZ: He didn't keep his eye on the birdie!

The hunters still continue to laugh as Raditz appeared with a halo.

(Scene cuts back to Goku.)

GOKU: Huh, okay. Well bye! (leaves Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: See ya next time you die!

(Kami glares at King Yemma)

KING YEMMA: (in a soft voice) ...Mahogany.

"Remind me to search up that word, Nora." Weiss requested and Nora accepted.

(Scene change to Kame House.)

MASTER ROSHI: So Krillin, how did Chi-Chi take the news?

KRILLIN: Um....

(flashback to Krillin's conversation with Chi-Chi and the Ox King)

CHI-CHI: Well Krillin. What did you need to talk about?

KRILLIN: So, Chi-Chi. Hypothetically: what would you do if you were told that your husband was dead; and your son were kidnapped by his worst enemy?

"I feel like I don't want to know the answer to that question as much as Krillin does." Jaune shivered at the thought.

CHI-CHI: I'd castrate the messenger in his sleep with a rusty carving knife!

"Knew it."

KRILLIN: Oh. ...Then it's a good thing I'm not telling you that!

(both Krillin and Chi-Chi laugh)

CHI-CHI: Would you like to spend the night?

"Wait, what?" Jaune questioned like he was in the show itself now.

KRILLIN: Aaagainst my better judgment.

(Scene changes to an outside view of Goku's house at nighttime. Camera cuts to a bedroom with the Ox King is snoring loudly while Krillin tries to sneaks out of the house, but shrieks as he hears a sound of someone sharpening a knife.)

CHI-CHI: ♪Kriiillin, where are yoooouuuu?♪

"Run, for the love of Oum run!" Ruby joined Jaune as they both felt shivers down their spines.

(Scene changes to a roadway, where Krillin quickly drives his car towards the screen while screaming.)

(scene changes back inside Kame House)

KRILLIN: Relatively well.

"That's putting it mildly." Pyrrha corrected.

BULMA: So, are you going to gather the other Z-Warriors and go train with Kami?

KRILLIN: The Who-Warriors?

BULMA: (with a scouter on her face) The Z-Warriors: (text on the bottom reads: Where'd that scouter come from?)You, Goku, Tien, Yamcha, Chiaotzu. That's what we always call you guys!

KRILLIN: That's the stupidest thing I've ever—

CHI-CHI: (offscreen) KRILLIN!!! (camera cuts to Chi-Chi angrily driving towards Kame House) Where the hell are you?!

Everyone chuckled but Ruby & Jaune as they shouted "RUN!"

KRILLIN: (quickly) Well, I'm off to gather the Z-Warriors! Bye!

(Scene changes to another roadway with, where Krillin quickly drives his car away from the screen while screaming.)

(Scene changes to wastelands, where Piccolo is talking to Gohan.)

PICCOLO: Listen up, runt! Today we're going to commence your intense training under me!

GOHAN: But wait, wouldn't that cause horrible muscle degeneration for somebody my age? Crippling me for years to come?

PICCOLO: ...You're a wordy little bastard, aren't you?

GOHAN: My mom wants me to become an ortho—

PICCOLO: NEEEEERD!!!

They laughed at how Piccolo called a 'nerd'.

GOHAN: Wh-what?

PICCOLO: Anyway, I've figured to unleash your hidden potential, I'd have to put you in immense physical danger. So I'm gonna through you at that mountain.

"How would that help?" the four-time champion wondered, as she had a lot of difficult and aggressive trainers throuhout most of her life.

GOHAN: Actually, that looks more like a pla—(Piccolo throws Gohan)TEAAAAAAA—

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) Any second now.

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) Here it comes.

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) And—

GOHAN: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

(a splattering sound is heard with Gohan crying offscreen)

PICCOLO: Uugh.

(Piccolo begins walking towards a crying Gohan.)

PICCOLO: (thinking to himself) This is gonna be a loooooooong training session.

"I think I see his pain there." Yang said as she looked directly at Ruby with cookie in her mouth.

"What?"

(Scene change to the entrance to Snake Way.)

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Alright, Mr. Muscle Man. Here you are at Snake Way. Now you might want to pack a lunch, 'cause it's going to be a long run. Nah, I'm just joking; you're not going to be eating nothing.

GOKU: (noticing how long Snake Way is) Wow! That looks like it's going to take me a while.

"A while, more like a eternity!" Nora shouted

"Pff, I can run though that no problem." Ruby cocking a grinned.

"Wana bet?" Nora gestured but was holsted by Ren & Weiss before it can grow out of control.

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Now be careful running—you don't want to fall off and die. That's just a little bit of dead humor. But seriously, do not fall off or you will go to Hell.

GOKU: Has anyone ever run the whole thing before?

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: Well, there was one man.

GOKU: Well, who was he?

HEAVENLY ATTENDANT: (writing something in a book) I believe his name was—

(Scene change to Kami's lookout.)

KAMI: Mr. Popo!

MR. POPO: Yes, Kami?

KAMI: I just received word that we have a new batch of trainees coming! Make sure you take good care of them!

(Mr. Popo starts laughing evilly while the camera begins to zoom in to his face, with music from a horror film playing by the time the camera focuses on his eyes. The camera begins to slowly fade into black.)

"Why do I feel scared?" Weiss asked but everyone in the room felt fear rush over them.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

KING YEMMA: And not just any mahogany, (shows a planet named Malchior 7) but mahogany from the planet, Malchior 7! (shows a tree, which suddenly breathes fire) Where the trees are three-hundred feet tall and breathe fire!

(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: From these trees, this desk was forged 2,000 years ago! Using ancient blood-rituals of the Malchior people! (shows a group of Malchior people all with the heads of Lanipator grunting)

(scene shifts back to Yemma's office)

KING YEMMA: Not only does this make my desk nigh indestructible, but it can bend the fabric of the universe itself! Also, it's a very fine material—very expensive.

KAMI: Ooookay?

KING YEMMA: (quickly) Mahogany.

"Well, that was weird post-episode clip." Blake said with everyone agreeing with her.

"Alright lets have a quick break until the next episode." Ruby suggested and everyone agreed. Weiss, Nora and Ren left to search the meaning of 'mahogany', Blake went back to reading her book, Jaune, Pyrrha and Ruby stayed where they were and talk about the first three episodes, and Yang left for the bathroom for a short while.

Chapter Text

The members of Teams RWBY & JNPR were finishing up with what they were doing. Weiss and Nora discovered that the word 'mahogany' is a rich reddish-brown colour of wood. Ren made pancakes and cookies for everyone but they disappeared because of Ruby's and Nora's sugar tooth snacking. Blake sat her book down went everyone returned to their siting spots.

"Lets get back into this." Ruby said as she pressed play on her Scroll.

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene opens up with a full view of Snake Way.)

NARRATOR: Last time on Dragon Ball Z Abridged... Goku began his journey down Snake Way. ...Wait is that some kind of innuendo?

"Uh, what? What's an 'innuendo' mean?" Ruby questioned to her big sister but the answer came from Blake instead.

"A allusive or oblique remark or hint, typically a suggestive or disparaging one."

"Oh, neat." Ruby responded without not even knowing what half the words meaning.

(Goku is seen running down Snake Way.)

GOKU: (in his thoughts) This is going to be the longest, toughest journey I’ve ever made! I have to receive King Kai’s training, and battle the biggest threat to the planet we’ve ever faced! I have to run as fast as I can—I have to keep running! For the sake of the Earth, humanity, and my fam—

Just about everyone giggled at the fact that Goku was so willing to saving his friends and family that the scene changes to Goku sleeping on the back of a truck.

(Camera cuts to a sleeping Goku on a moving cleanup truck. The truck bumps into something, causing Goku to fall off Snake Way and down into the clouds.)

GOKU: (hits his head on Snake Way) OW, GAAAAAAAAA...

(Opening sequence with Goku's scream fading out, which resumes at the end of the sequence.)

(Scene changes to a screaming Goku falling straight into the depths of Hell.)

"Did he just fall into Hell?" Pyrrha questioned as Jaune confirmed her suspicion.

GOKU: AAAAAAHHHHH—

(Goku crashes hard onto the floor.)

GOKU: (in pain) Oowwww...

GOZ: Oh who do we have here? A little girly man, yeah?

GOKU: I’m Goku. Who are you?

GOZ: I am Goz.

MEZ: And I am Mez.

GOZ & MEZ: Und we are here to pump (camera cuts to a surprised Goku while a clapping sound is heard) you up!

"Is it me, or do those guys seem kinda... gay?" Nora awkwardly asked.

"Nora!, be careful when saying something like that." Ren snapped to protect Nora from getting into trouble.

"Sorry, Ren." his childhood friend said in a upset tone, only to receive a hug which may her grow a simile.

GOKU: (disturbed) Okay... well I’m sorta—

GOZ: (interrupting) First we are going to do a hundred squats!

MEZ: And then lots of push-ups on the hard ground!

GOZ: And then a bunch of jumping jacks! Ooooooooo!!

GOKU: (even more disturbed) That...sounds like...fun. But I’m sort of in a hurry? How do I get out of here?

MEZ: 'Agh, there's no way out of here; unless you manage to beat us in a test of strength and speed.

GOZ: Yeah, lots of running, 'und wrestling, 'und 'sveat!

MEZ: Grappling each other on 'ze cold ground, yeah.

"Ok, its confirmed, they are both gay and weird." Yang stated which offended Blake.

"Do you have a problem with 'gay' and 'weird' people, Yang?" Blake angrily asked with a defensive tone.

"No, I've had a few friends who were weird, and I'm bisexual, so got nothing against gays."

"Ah, Ok then." the cat Faunas accepted.

GOKU: (desperate to avoid this) Okay, now let’s say we went through all of that, then where would you say the exit is?

GOZ: (points towards the exit) Oh. It's right over 'zere.

MEZ: Ja, but you have to beat us first, and—(sees Goku running off) Ach! He’s running away!

GOKU: (stops running and turns around) Oh, before I go, have you seen my brother Raditz around here? Spikey hair, tail?

MEZ: Agh, yes, he made a horrible mess of 'ze Blood Fountain.

GOKU: (looks at the Blood Fountain) Looks fine to me.

"I don't so the problem with the fountain." Weiss stated.

GOZ: (angrily) IT USED TO BE 'VATER!!!

"Why would there be water in Hell for Oum sake." Jaune cursed, thinking that the concept of 'Hell' should mean 'a living nightmare.'

GOKU: Wow. Well, I’m going now! By the way, thanks for the fruit! (reveals a fruit he took from the tree)

MEZ: (horrified as he watches Goku eat the fruit) Agh! He has a piece of 'ze fruit! Agh, nein! Don't eat 'ze fruit! Don't eat 'ze fruit!

GOKU: (finishes eating the fruit) Bye! (leaves)

GOZ: Oh, now we can't make 'ze fruit salad for King Yemma's barbeque!

MEZ: Yeah, 'und Dabura's going to bring something totally kickass, 'und we will have nothing, 'und WE WILL LOOK LIKE FOOLS!!!

GOZ: Ugh, I am so mad!

MEZ: Yeah, let us go 'vork off our stress by doing squat thrusts 'und stretches.

GOZ: Yeah, 'zen we'll do grappling in our speedos.

MEZ: I'll grab 'ze oil. (they both walk off)

"OK, so are we all going to agree at that didn't happen?" Ruby asked with everyone agreeing, even Nora.

(Scene shift to Earth at nighttime.)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth.... Now that’s got to be some kind of innuendo.

(Camera pans upward on a plateau, with a frightened Gohan looking down from the top as a wolf howls from a distance.)

"How did he get up there, heck how is he going to get down." Jaune questioned until Gohan started talking.

GOHAN: I can’t believe Piccolo left me out here all alone! How am I supposed to get down from here?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) CLIIIIMB DOWWWWWWWN!!!

GOHAN: I can't even get any food or water! What should I do?

PICCOLO: (offscreen) I SAID, CLIIIIMB DOWWWWWWWN!!!

GOHAN: If only I had some sticks or reeds lying around, I could make a makeshift ladder, or a rope...

(Piccolo screams offscreen in frustration.)

The hunters chuckled as Piccolo screamed.

(Scene shift to Kami's Lookout.)

KAMI: You have all come to train on my lookout. But since I am quite old, I shall leave you in the capable hands of Mr. Popo. (begins to walk inside the lookout) Mr. Popo, you know what to do...

MR. POPO: Yes, Kami.

(Camera changes to Mr. Popo looking at Krillin, Tien holding Chiaotzu, Yamcha, and Yajirobe as a sound of a door slamming can be heard.)

MR. POPO: Alright maggots, listen up! Popo's about to teach you the Pecking Order!

(screen goes black)

MR. POPO: It goes: You (show a text "YOU"), the dirt (shows dirt), the worms inside of the dirt (shows a group of worms), Popo’s stool (shows a black censored box, literally not meaning a type of seat), Kami (shows Kami), then Popo (shows Mr. Popo's eyes on top). Any questions?

"Why is 'Popo's stool' in a censored box?" Ruby confusingly wondered.

"Maybe when your older, you'll understand." Yang fired off, continuing to protect her sisters innocence.

KRILLIN: Um, yeah I—(cut to an outside shot of Kami's lookout as a punching sound can be heard, followed by a black dot falling off said lookout)

KRILLIN: (as he falls off the lookout) GGGAAAAAA... (scream fades out)

"What is he?" Weiss muttered if he can do that with one punch.

(Krillin Owned Count: 3)

MR. POPO: Enjoy the climb back up, BITCH! Now, any more questions? (everyone remains silent) Good, then we can begin.

"Thank Oum one doesn't have him as a teacher here." Pyrrha quivered with such a thought, as did everyone else in the room.

(Scene changes to Goku running on Snake Way.)

GOKU: Okay! No more diversions! This is really important! No more sidetr— (notices a house) Oooh a house!

(Goku stops running and looks at the front entrance)

GOKU: (in his thoughts) Is that a snake?

(Snake-house sucks Goku inside its mouth.)

"Well, that was a SCALY situation." Yang snickered while everyone groaned.

GOKU: ...EEEEEEEEEEEEEE—

(Goku falls through an open door from the ceiling and hits his back on the the floor, causing him to scream in pain.)

(Cuts to a black screen, with a sound effect from Metal Gear Solid's intermission playing, and then a screen opens up, which is a reference to a Codec conversation in "Metal Gear Solid".)

"Oh great, another video game reference." Jaune said.

"What game is that from?" Ren questioned.

"It's from the Metal Gear series, used to communicate with other characters throughout the games." Ruby described as Yang whispered "Nerd".

SERVANT: Princess Snake! you have a visitor!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Ah, perfect... Now let me assess the situation from here...

(Princess Snake looks out a window and notices Goku talking to a servant)

PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, he’s quite the hunk of man-meat! But what’s with the hair?

"Yeah, he is." Yang flirted in agreement with the quote 'man-meat'.

(Door opens and shows Princess Snake and two servants walking towards Goku.)

PRINCESS SNAKE: (in her thoughts) I just love this fur coat! Especially since I killed all the animals for it myself!

GOKU: Huh? You don’t look like you be King Kai.

PRINCESS SNAKE: (blushes) What? Did my magnificent breasts tip you off?

Jaune and Ren hided their blushes at what the snake princess just said.

GOKU: (confused) W-what?

PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing. Are you hungry?

GOKU: Yeah! I could eat anything right now!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Me too...

GOKU: What?

PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing! Take a seat!

(Scene shifts to a table filled with steaming food.)

PRINCESS SNAKE: I killed everything here with my bare hands. Including the bear hands—It’s a PUN!

"Leave the pun-making jokes to me you bitch!" Yang muttered under her breathe.

(Goku is seen chowing down on the food.)

"Wow, his metabolism is worse than mine." Ruby awed in shocked as Goku practical hoovered up alot of food. 

GOKU: (with his mouth full) I can’t believe you took all this down yourself!

PRINCESS SNAKE: I wanna take YOU down...

"What?" Everyone asked in unison.

GOKU: What?

PRINCESS SNAKE: Nothing! Get in the hot tub!

(Scene changes to Goku taking a bath in a hot tub filled with red water.)

GOKU: Wow, this water’s really nice!

(A cardboard box slowly moves behind Goku.)

"Aaand the reference continues." Ruby sarcastically states.

PRINCESS SNAKE: (spying at Goku from inside the box) Not as nice as your ass!

(An exclamation mark appears above Goku's head, along with the alert sound effect from "Metal Gear Solid" playing.)

GOKU: Huh?

"How dense is he?" Weiss questioned with how this character even functions.

(Princess Snake quickly moves out of the screen in her cardboard box.)

(Scene changes to Goku entering Princess Snake's castle, fully dressed.)

GOKU: Well, thanks for the food and stuff, but I’ve got to get to King Kai!

PRINCESS SNAKE: (runs behind Goku) No! First you must pass the test of... endurance!

GOKU: What’s that mean?

PRINCESS SNAKE: It means I want you... (blushes and covers part of her face with her fur coat) inside me!

Yang covered Ruby's ears before the words 'inside me' were said, still protecting her innocent young.

GOKU: (completely clueless) What do you mean?

PRINCESS SNAKE: You’ll see...

(Scene changes to Goku flying away from Princess Snake in her snake form, with the "Encounter" music from Metal Gear Solid playing.)

Everyone laughed at how a giant snake was chasing Goku while making grunting noises.

GOKU: Aaaaaahhhh!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Hah! Total supplication! (breathes fires at Goku)

GOKU: Whaaaaa! Stop chasing me!

(Princess Snake tries to bite Goku but Goku flies out of the way)

PRINCESS SNAKE: (makes grunting noises)

GOKU: Stop grunting—it’s creepy!

"Second it." Pyrrha and Yang said together.

PRINCESS SNAKE: (grunts) Wakka wakka wakka—

(Scenes changes to Princess Snake chasing Goku in the style of a Pac-Man game)

"Oh, now it's gone from Metal Gear to Pac-Mac, double references!" Nora shouted. 

PRINCESS SNAKE: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka.

GOKU: (simultaneously as Princess Snake is saying "wakka") Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa—(notices meat) Ooo! (stops moving and eats meat)

PRINCESS SNAKE: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wak—

GOKU: (simultaneously as Princess Snake is saying "wakka") Aaaaaaaaa—

(Scene changes to a wasteland at nighttime. Piccolo is watching Gohan from the sky as he is still stuck on top of a plateau.)

PICCOLO: Oh for god’s sake, now he’s just standing there looking at the moon like a retarded puppy! "Never call puppies retarded you meanie!" Ruby angrily snapped, (camera zooms out and shows Gohan looking at a full moon) I was trying to teach him to fend for himself, but nooo, (Gohan begins his transformation into a Ōzaru) he has to be a WEAK, DEFENSELESS LITTLE—(finally noticing Gohan's transformation) Wait, is he getting bigger?

"How does that work? No seriously, how does that work?" Weiss frustratedly asked. 

(Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru and holds up a barrel, with the theme of "Donkey Kong" playing.)

"And other game reference" Jaune slightly sang to himself, which court Pyrrha's attention.

"Hey, that was pretty good."

"Oh uh, thanks Pyrrha." 

PICCOLO: (surprised) Okay, that’s new! (in his thoughts) Wait a second, that tail! (remembers Goku and Raditz's conversation) His Saiyan blood! Does this mean... (out loud extremely quickly) Everyone of Gohan’s race can become a giant gorilla!

"OK, but how thought?" Weiss demanded to know.

"Weiss, you need to calm down." Ruby said in her innocent 'I've done nothing wrong' tone, which worked like a charm.

(Ōzaru Gohan shoots a mouth beam, destroying some terrain.)

PICCOLO: Damn it, if he destroys everything, what will be left for me?!

(Piccolo stares at the moon while Ōzaru Gohan continues to cause destruction offscreen.)

PICCOLO: (shoots a ki blast at the moon, destroying it) STOP MOCKING ME!!!

(Ōzaru Gohan shrinks, with the "Super Mario" sound effect of going down a pipe playing, and reverts to his human form, naked (which a Dragonball is censoring) "Gross!" Weiss and Ruby said, and falls down unconscious.)

"Wait, so they transform into a giant monkey from the moon? HOW!?" Weiss continuing her quest for answers.

PICCOLO: (lands next to Gohan) Hah! Take that, Moon! Perfect orbit, my ass! And— (looks at Gohan) Huh? Where’d the monkey go? Well, he’s back to normal. (notices Gohan's "male jewels") Oh God, what the hell is that thing? Well, whatever it is, I don’t like looking at it. This either. (pulls off Gohan's tail) "How is he not bleeding from his tail being pulled off?" Jaune questioned, Now... CLOTHES BEAM!!!(fires a beam at Gohan, giving him a new pair of clothes and a sword) That is easily my most metro attack.

"Really, an ability that can materialise clothing from nothing!? Haaaaaa!" Weiss shouted as she was slowly growing to insanity.

"Weiss, seriously, calm down and don't question everything. Ok?" Ruby said, comforting her partner.

(Scene changes to Goku once again running on Snake Way.)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Snake Way...

GOKU: Man, that was close! Sure am glad I got away from that giant snake lady!

(Scene cut to Princess Snake tangled up in a knot.)

PRINCESS SNAKE: (grunts, trying to break free, but no avail) AAAAAAGGHHH!!

(scream echos as the screen fades to black, showing the "Game Over" screen from Metal Gear Solid with its theme also playing)

SERVANT: Princess Snake? Princess Snake? PRINCESS SNAAAKE!!

"I hope that's the last reference of Metal Gear for now." Pyrrha hoped.

(ending sequence)

[STINGER]

(Scene shows Piccolo with an unconscious Gohan.)

PICCOLO: Yep, and once again wanton destruction has solved all of my problems! With absolutely no negative repercussions!

"My guess he's wrong." Nora betted.

(Scene changes to Kame House.)

REPORTER: We’ve got breaking news that the Earth’s moon has been completely destroyed. While the long-term environmental effects can only be guessed at, preliminary speculation puts the short-term death toll from tidal effects alone, at the hundreds of millions. We now go to our resident expert on lunar science, Sailor Moon. Sailor?

SALILOR MOON: (getting shocked) OH DEAR GOD!!

REPORTER: Thanks, Sailor! We now return you to Nick at Nite’s 24-hour Full House Marathon, already in progress.

"Called it, I knew the green guy was wrong."

(Camera turns black. Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen flying through space and passes a few planets.)

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: What?

"Oh Oum, please don't tell me that he's going to say what I think he's going to say?" Jaune feared.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

"OUM DAMMIT!" the blonde leader shouted as painful memories rush through his head.

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: No.

As the episode ended, Jaune ran towards to bathroom an locked himself in, while Ruby continues to comfort Weiss on not to question the physics of this series. Blake went back to reading. Ren, Nora and Yang went to cook something up. As for Pyrrha, she walked over to the bathroom door to see if her partner is OK.

"Jaune? A-are you OK?" Pyrrha stuttered.

"I-I'm fine, j-just need a m-minute." Jaune answered.

"Do you... what to talk about it?"

"After the first season is up." Jaune slowly unlocked the door and walked out to see Pyrrha smiling which cheered Jaune up, until they were interrupted by Ruby.

"Are you guys done over there? Because I'm about to start the next episode." the crimsonette asked when, perfectly on time, Ren, Nora and Yang brought more snacks.

"What are you waiting for? Lets get watching." Yang asked with excitement, to which, Ruby hits play.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene opens up with a full view of Snake Way.)

NARRATOR: After endless running and detours, Goku has finally reached the end of Snake Way. How very convenient.

(Goku looks up and notices a small planet in the sky)

GOKU: Oooooo! Oh wow, that must be King Kai’s place! (jumps towards King Kai's planet) Woohooo... (begins falling towards the planet) ...aaaaaahhhhhh--

The heiress was about to question the laws of gravity but remembered her promise to Ruby about "don't question something that designed for comedic affect," so she didn't bother.

(Goku crashes onto the planet)

KING KAI: (offscreen) Nice job, jackass!

Weiss chuckled at what King Kai said to Goku. But quickly hid it as to not show that she can laugh for her own amusement.

GOKU: (in pain) Ow...

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen flying through space.)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back in the deep reaches of space...

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (annoyed) No.

"Is he still at it?" Jaune rhetorically asked.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (becoming more annoyed) No!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (much more annoyed) NO!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (now very angry) NO!!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (even angrier) NO!!

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: (ready to snap) WHAT?!

"Does anyone suspect that he will kill his partner at some point." Ren questioned and everyone nodded in agreement.

NAPPA: (sees that they are approaching Planet Arlia) Can we stop at that bug planet?

VEGETA: (temper stabilized) Nappa, if it’ll shut you up for five minutes then fine!

"Also, they must of been flying for days without stretching their legs." Jaune inquired with his knowledge of road trips.

(scene shifts to Planet Arlia)

VEGETA: (looking at a floating debris) See? Look how fun this is.

(Two Arlians riding on giant millipede-like steeds appear out of the ground)

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta-- the locals.

VEGETA: Seems they brought a welcome service.

NAPPA: You know, Vegeta, on some planets they really appreciate foreign commune. Really brings in the revenue. (One Arilan unsheathes their sword) They’ll probably treat us like royalty, considering the--

"Treated like royalty, don't make me laugh." Weiss chuckled which court everyone's attention by surprise.

(Arilans handcuff Nappa and locks Vegeta and Nappa in a cell)

VEGETA: Well...

NAPPA: Yeah...

ARLIAN PRINCE: I see. You too have been imprisoned by our horrible fascist king.

(Arilan Prince continues to speaking unintelligibly offscreen while Vegeta and Nappa talk)

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: What is it?

NAPPA: We’re in prison, Vegeta.

VEGETA: I see that, Nappa.

NAPPA: Hey.

VEGETA: What?

NAPPA: Don’t drop the soap.

VEGETA: I swear to God, Nappa, I will shiv you.

"Shiv? What is that, some kind of razor?" Ruby asked.

"It's a knife or a razor used as a weapon." Pyrrha corrected and Ruby awed in the mentioning of weapons.

(Scene changes to King Kai's planet)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on the Kai planet...

"How is it considered a planet, it looks more like an asteroid. With plant life... and has a breathable atmosphere." Blake inquisitied.

GOKU: So, you’re King Kai.

KING KAI: That’s right. I am the most superior martial artist in all of the galaxy--

GOKU: (notices Bubbles) Ooo, a monkey!

KING KAI: Yes, this is my monkey, Bubbles. Say hello, Bubbles.

BUBBLES: (subtitled) You have come far, young warrior. Allow me to--

KING KAI: Alright, that’s enough, Bubbles. Anyway, welcome to my planet.

GOKU: (struggling to stand up) Man, I’m so heavy here!

KING KAI: Well, because of the small size of my planet, the gravity here is much more intense than that on Earth.

"At least that makes sense." Weiss said

GREGORY: (offscreen) That doesn’t make any sense!

"How doesn't it make sens- wait, did that cricket just talk?" Weiss questioned.

"Yes, yes it did." Jaune and Blake signed.

KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory! Alright, fine-- how’s this for a reason: I have an unbelievably powerful space pirate locked within the depths of my planet. That’s why the gravity is so heavy here.

"That makes less sense." Pyrrha inquired.

BOJACK: (inside King Kai's Planet) Yarr! Get me out of here!

KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack! (stomps on the planet three times) Anyway, what are you here for?

GOKU: Oh! Well, King Kai, I need you to train me. (shows Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods flying in space) There’s a terrible threat coming to our planet, and I’m its only hope. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to train me, I’ll withstand any test, I will try as hard as I have to, and I--

KING KAI: Sure.

GOKU: (dumbfounded) What?

"Wow, he had a hole speech and everything." Nora awed.

KING KAI: I’ll train you.

GOKU: S-Seriously? I thought I'd have to do some kind of test.

KING KAI: Are you kidding me? The only company I’ve had for the last 500 years have been a disembodied pirate... (BOJACK: Yarr!) ...a monkey... (Bubbles screeches) ...and a grasshopper!

GREGORY: Actually, I’m a cricket.

KING KAI: Nobody cares!

"Some of us do!" the heiress muttered.

BUBBLES: (clapping his hands; subtitled) I care!

KING KAI: You tell him, Bubbles!

GOKU: Wow, you’re right. I can’t imagine anything more boring than that.

(scene shifts to Planet Namek)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on Namek...

(scene goes inside Guru's house, where there's a long silence and a splashing sound can be heard)

GURU: Naaail. Naaaaail!

(Nail walks inside Guru's house and kneels)

NAIL: What is it, Lord Guru?

GURU: I saw a fish. That is all-- you can go back outside now.

NAIL: (walks outside of Guru's house; thinking) Oh God, this is so horribly dull. I hope something exciting happens around here soon. I don’t care what it is.

GURU: (offscreen) Naaaaail!!

NAIL: (sounding a bit annoyed) What?

GURU: (offscreen) I saw a bird. It was pretty. Kick its ass.

"Birdie NO!"

"Wait an minute, did you say that during the initiation?" Yang asked her little sister with on concern.

"Un, yeah, why?" Ruby wondered what her big sister is up to, only to be put into a headlock.

"Aw, my sister cares for the wildlife."

Yang! Let! Go! Of! Me!" to which she does. 

(Nail groans in annoyance)

(scene shifts to planet Arlia)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...

"There seems to be a lot of going back and forwards between Arlia and King Kai's planet." Blake wondered.

(scene goes to the Arlian prison cell, with the Arlian Prince still talking to Vegeta and Nappa)

ARLIAN PRINCE: As you can see, many questionable people have been locked away in here.

ARLIAN PRISONER: Welcome to Oz, bitch! That’s right, (to Vegeta) you with the spiky hair, you’re going to be my BITCH! I’m going to sell you for a cigarette-- but not before I violate you, because you’re my BI--

(Scene cuts to the Arilan throne room)

ARLIAN KING: I love ruling this planet with an iron fist! Right, my quee-- (throne room shakes as an explosion occurs offscreen) What in the great Arlian moon was that?

NAPPA: Hi!

Nora bursted out laughing at Nappa's response.

ARLIAN KING: Who the f*** are you two?

NAPPA: Hi, I’m Nappa, and that’s Vegeta. He was a prison bitch.

VEGETA: Shut the hell up, Nappa!

NAPPA: 'Kay.

VEGETA: Anyway, we’re here because my partner’s an idiot. Now that we’ve got introductions out of the way, I think I’ll just kill you and--

NAPPA: Hey, Vegeta.

VEGETA: Oh God, what now?

NAPPA: (notices Arlian Queen) I think that’s their queen. I’m curious how they breed.

"That's just gross! I hope he doesn't request them to do that." Weiss gagged in disgust.

VEGETA: Oh, goddammit, Nappa-- that’s disgusting! I say we just--

NAPPA: (To Arlians) Hey, you guys, breed for us!

"Oum dammit!" the heiress groaned.

ARLIAN KING: Why should we listen to you? (Arlians guards begin surrounding Vegeta and Nappa) You’re surrounded by my thirteen elite... (Nappa kills guards with an explosion) ...dead guards. (to his wife) Well, you heard him, honey.

NAPPA: They’re not doing anything, they’re just standing on top of each other and... (a snapping sound is heard while both Arlians start mating) Awww, there we go!

(Nappa takes his cell phone and takes a picture. Vegeta’s cell phone vibrates, and he takes out his cell phone and sees the picture.)

VEGETA: (disgusted from what he saw) Oh, goddammit, Nappa!

"I hope he dies and not come back." Blake said with Weiss agreeing with her.

(scene changes to Earth, on a barren wasteland)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Earth-- Piccolo has finally begun his training with Gohan.

GOHAN: So, Mr. Piccolo, what are you gonna teach me today? A brand new technique? How to sense energy? What about how to fly--

PICCOLO: Dodge! (kicks Gohan)

"Is that considered child abuse or training?" Jaune asked.

"Both." Pyrrha said darkly.

(scene cuts to the barren wasteland at dusk, Gohan is seen injured, has a wart covering his right eye and is sweating)

GOHAN: (thinking) Oh man, this training with Mr. Piccolo is really difficult. But I think I’m finally getting the hang of it--

PICCOLO: DODGE!

GOHAN: What? (gets blasted at point-blank by Piccolo) WAAAAAAAAAAA--

(scene cuts to Piccolo and Gohan in the middle of the wasteland accompanied with a long silence)

"Run, for the love of Oum run!" Jaune shouted.

PICCOLO: (punches Gohan in the face) DOOOOOOODGE!

Ruby felt shivers go down her spine as she remembers her hand-to-hand training sessions with Yang. Even more shivers as she thinks of Ruby in Gohan's position while Yang was in Piccolo's. 

GOHAN: Aaaah!

(scene shifts to the Hall of Justice)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice...

"Did the art style change or is this an different show all together?" Ren questioned.

SUPERMAN: Alright everyone, we have to do something about these Saiyans. They’re approaching Earth quickly, and I don’t think we have the strength to take them on alone. Batman, what are your thoughts?

BATMAN: Well, I think...

AQUAMAN: (offscreen) I have an idea!

BATMAN: Oh God, it’s Aquaman...

AQUAMAN: (offscreen) Come on, guys, we could use whales! WHAAALES!

SUPERMAN: Someone, get him out of here!

AQUAMAN: (sadly; offscreen) I’ma whaaaaales....

No one felt sorry for him, not even Jaune.

(Scene shifts to planet Arlia)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back on Arlia...

ARLIAN KING: There, I banged my wife, will ya leave us in peace?

VEGETA: Actually, no, I’m still going to kill you.

ARLIAN KING: Summon the Rancor!

"A Star Wars reference, really?" Yang, Ruby and Jaune questioned.

(the Rancor arises from the ground, which is a gigantic Arlian)

NAPPA: Vegeta... It’s... It’s... It’s so cute! Can I keep it? Can I keep it?

VEGETA: Fine, just catch it or something.

"How come he gets a giant monster pet but I don't?" Nora asked Ren as he answers.

"Because his partner cannot put up with him, while I can enjoy your moments." To which everyone awed at the moment. 

NAPPA: Yay! (Rancor tries to attack Nappa, who grabs its hand) Here boy, shake-- (rips off one of the Rancor's fingers) Ahhh, I got your finger. Okay, now boy, catch the ball. Catch the ball! (hurls a blast at the Rancor, completely destroying it) Hagh! Awwww! Aww, I broked-ed it, Vegeta. It must be made of something weak-- like paper maché, or Raditz.

"They must reeeally hate Raditz that bad if they say that." Pyrrha said.

ARLIAN KING: (the audio downgrades in quality) (terrified and begins running up to his throne) Please, I’ll do anything you want! (Vegeta begins hurling debris at the king's throne) We’ll give you riches, womens-- Wait, what are you doing?

VEGETA: I’m about to rock you... like a hurricane.

"REALLY!?" Everyone asked with disappointment.

ARLIAN KING: I love that song! (debris hits the king in the torso, killing him) AAUGHWRR!

VEGETA: Ha, did you see that, Nappa-- that was totally bada-- (looks towards Nappa) What are you doing?

NAPPA: (offscreen) I’m cuddling it, Vegeta.

VEGETA: It’s dead, Nappa.

NAPPA: NOOOOOO!! (cries) Oh, I remember when we first got him, Vegeta.

(flashback of Nappa Killing the Rancor with Barbara Streisand’s “The Way We Were” playing in the background)

NAPPA: (audio returns to normal) Ah, good times.

ARLIAN: You have freed our race! You two are the greatest heroes known to our planet! We shall erect statues of you...

NAPPA: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Vege--

ARLIAN: ...out of our dung.

Everyone in the room bursts out laughing so hard.

(silence)

NAPPA: Well, isn’t that nice of them, Ve--

VEGETA: We’re leaving, Nappa.

NAPPA: 'Kay.

(Vegeta and Nappa fly to their Space Pods and leave Arlia)

NAPPA: Look at us, Vegeta, we saved an entire race from tyranny. We’re heroes, Vegeta-- we are a couple of really great guy--

(Vegeta exits his pod and destroys Arlia)

Everyone was silent as they witnessed their first genocide.

NAPPA: Ha ha! Ahaha! Ahh... tragic.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts to a barren wasteland with Gohan eating berries)

GOHAN: (thinking) Wow, I finally learned how to survive all by myself, live on my own, and surviving off the fat of the land. Mr. Piccolo will be so proud-- (gets blasted) YAAAYYYAYAYAY... (falls down and starts mumbling)

PICCOLO: (offscreen) DOOOOOOOOODGE!!!

Some of the hunters chuckled at Piccolo's "DODGE!" moment until Ruby clicked the next video.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji T.V., and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene changes to a dark room with swinging pendulum in the ceiling as Mr. Popo, Krillin, Yamcha, Tien holding Chiaoutzu, and Yajirobe are seen walking forward)

"Well, that's not creepy at all." Weiss sarcastically snarled.

KRILLIN: Um. Mr. Popo, are you sure this’ll make us strong-

MR. POPO: Pecking order.

KRILLIN: Sorry!

(everyone arrives at the Pendulum Room)

MR. POPO: Damn right you are. Now, stand in this circle here.

(everyone minus Yajirobe are seen standing on the magic circle)

TIEN: You mean, like this?

MR. POPO: Yeah. Bye!

KRILLIN: Wait, what?!

(everyone gets teleported to another dimension)

"D-did that not explain what just happened?" Pyrrha stuttered as she wanted to know where those characters disappeared to.

"I have a feeling that someone is going to say something along those lines in a future episode." Blake states her cat ears twittered behind her bow.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene changes to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: Alright, today we will commence your training.

GOKU: Woohoo! Alright! Now, what’s my first lesson?

KING KAI: First, you must--

GOKU: Catch the monkey! (begins chasing Bubbles)

KING KAI: Actually, I was going to--

GOKU: (continues to chase Bubbles) Whee!

KING KAI: Okay, have fun with that.

(scene changes to the Z Fighters walking in a ruined city)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in... somewhere...

"Wait, so did that... person... thing, transport them to another location?" the four-time champion asked with another question.

"It looks like they have been transported to another dimension of sorts." answering his partners question with answer that sounds like it should be in a comic book.

"That's ridiculous, Jaune," the Schnee heiress retorted, "no one on Remnant has the technology to do such a thing."

"You do realize that this is an anime, right?" Ruby questioned her partner which made her go silent.

YAMCHA: Wow, this place is a wreck.

TIEN: I know-- the desolation, the ruin, the horror.

KRILLIN: Where are we, New Orleans?

Everyone was confused as to the mentioning of 'New Orleans', until Nora decided to be... well, Nora.

"Is that a place or a food, because it sounds yummy!"

"I believe its a place, but there's no mention of it." Ren answered as he quickly searches it on his Scroll.

(record scratch)

TIEN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

TIEN: Too soon!

"But, we don't get it." the crimsonette sheepishly said.

(Chiaotzu looks at a helmet)

CHIAOTZU: Huh?

HELMET: (quickly) You must construct additional pylons.

(Chiaotzu shrieks)

"That must be a reference to something." JNPR's leader asked but could not finger out the reference. Even the Rose-Xioa Long sisters were stomped by it. While everyone else, don't understand it.

TIEN: Chiaotzu, get away from there.

CHIAOTZU: Why?

(helmet disintegrates, revealing the head of a Saiyan)

TIEN: You have no idea where that’s been-- it could give you an infection.

CHIAOTZU: You’re not my dad-- don’t tell me what to--

(Saiyan attacks Chioutzu, causing him to scream as he falls off the city)

TIEN: Chiaotzu, My partner!

YAMCHA: ......Gay.

"How is that consided 'gay'?, he just cares about his partner, that all I can see." the blond bombshell retorted while her teammates smiled at how she is so open-minded, much like her little sister is.

TIEN: Hey, at least I don’t spend all my free time living alone with a cat!

YAMCHA: Hey, at least I get some puss-- Wow, that did not come out right.

The cat Faunas lightly blushes at what Yamcha was about to say.

SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Hey, Bruzzel, look what we got here.

BRUZZEL: (disembodied echo) Yes, we’ve got some tourists, Spraut.

SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Well, then we should give them the tour.

BRUZZEL: (disembodied echo) Yes, the tour straight to hell, because we’ll be killing them, with our own two diabolical hands, which are comprised of many sinister fingers, which we shall use to fiendishly destroy them one by one until--

SPRAUT: (disembodied echo) Oh, for Christ’s sake, yes, they get it-- we’re evil. Shut up!

(Saiyan grabs Krillin's ankle and pulls him underground)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, why?!

(Yamcha and Tien look at the hole as fighting sounds can be heard along with Krillin screaming)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, this can’t possibly get any worse.

MR. POPO: Hi.

Everyone in the room felt chills run throughout their bodies and froze in fear by Mr. Popo's verbal appearance.

(Krillin screaming louder, possibly due to seeing Mr. Popo.)

(Krillin Owned Count: 4)

YAMCHA: It’s up to us! We have to attack together!

TIEN: Right, back to back! Let’s do it for Chiaotzu!

YAMCHA: And Krillin!

(crickets chips in silence)

"OK, what have they got against Krillin of all people." a slightly angry Ruby asked.

YAMCHA: Eh, okay, just Chiaotzu.

(Yamcha and Tien charge up to attack the Saiyans)

(scene shifts to the Pendulum Room with Mr. Popo standing next to the circle)

MR. POPO: Alright, let’s see how they’re doing inside.

(Yamcha and Tien are seen getting hit and screaming in pain as Mr. Popo laughs, loving every moment of it. Eventually, everyone returns to the Pendulum Room, exhausted and terrified.)

MR. POPO: So, how was it?

(Heavy breathing are heard with Krillin muttering something unintelligible about "darkness")

TIEN: It was... horrible.

MR. POPO: Good, you survived the first test.

"I'm terrifying that what the other 'tests' are if there as bad as that." the ice queen said as a small wave of memories of her 'tests' ran through her mind, making her frown in sadness.

KRILLIN: (relieved) Oh, thank God!

MR. POPO: But I have some bad news.

"Uh oh!" Yang said as she knew where this was going.

KRILLIN: What?

MR. POPO: You’re going back.

KRILLIN: (sounding a bit scared) Wh-What?

MR. POPO: Bye!

(Z-Fighters all get teleported back to the ruined city)

KRILLIN: (screaming) No!!!

(short silence with Kami suddenly appearing next to Mr. Popo)

KAMI: Mr. Popo, where did you send them?

MR. POPO: I’ll tell you where they’re not: safe.

"He just loves to torment others, doesn't he?" asked the scythe-wielder as she hid under her hood by Mr. Popo's face.

(scene changes to King Kai's planet, Goku has just caught Bubbles)

GOKU: Woohoo! Alright, I caught the mon-- (notices Gregory) ooh, a cricket! (drops Bubbles who screeches in pain)

GREGORY: Yeah, I’m Gregory--

GOKU: (holding a hammer) I’ma smash him!

GREGORY: (visibly terrified) What? (shift to inside King Kai's house; Gregory is seen blasting by) OHMYDEARGOD!!!

GOKU: (chases Gregory with the hammer) Wee-hee!

"Does anyone feel sorry for the monkey and the cricket right now?" Blake questioned since they are living beings like Faunas in a way.

Everyone did feel so form of sorry towards the monkey and cricket, specially Gregory since it's about to he crushed by Goku who, somehow, pulled out a hammer out of nowhere.

KING KAI: (watering a plant, unconcerned) Shut up, Gregory.

(Gregory screams as Goku hits the ground with a hammer)

BOJACK: Yarr...

KING KAI: (continues watering a plant, unconcerned) Shut up, Bojack.

"King Kai doesn't sound enthusiastic when it comes to telling others to shut up." Weiss observered and everyone nodded in agreement.

(scene changes to Kami’s Lookout)

KAMI: It seems that your training here is complete.

KRILLIN: But we--

KAMI: Mr. Popo, do you have any last comments for them?

MR. POPO: (extremely blunt) You’re all going to die.

"Well, they're all dead if Mr. Popo says something so bluntly. If the Saiyans are stronger then Raditz as they say." Blake stated with some sarcasm and fear mixed in her voice.

KAMI: Thank you, Mr. Popo. Now I believe it is time for you to leave.

KRILLIN: But-but all we did was--

MR. POPO: Pecking order.

(Z-Fighter fly off the lookout with Tien screaming)

KRILLIN: Oh, God, get out of my way!

"I wonder if Goku is afraid of the this 'Pecking Order' Mr. Popo has." Pyrrha wondered.

"Knowing him, he would probable think it would be a menu for a restaurant." Weiss blandly states.

"Huh, good point."

(scene changes to King Kai’s planet)

GOKU: I completed the first two lessons, King Kai.

KING KAI: Yes, congratulations, you’ve managed to catch my pet monkey, Bubbles, and give Gregory a concussion.

GREGORY: (in pain, off-screen) You psychotic bastard!

Nora, Ruby and Yang laughed out at Gregory's outburst.

KING KAI: Now we can start on your real training and I can teach you the--

GOKU: Oh, before you do, could you tell about the Saiyans.

"Huh, more backstory about the Saiyan race." Jaune excitedly cheered as they learnt more about the Saiyans.

KING KAI: Not much to tell you other than they all died 20 years ago.

GOKU: (gasps) Even my dad?

(flashback of Bardock screaming while burning)

(King Kai is seen holding his mouth, trying not to burst out laughing)

KING KAI: (abruptly) Yes.

GOKU: Really? What killed them?

"Hold on, so they were driving to near-extinction, how?" Weiss questioned as Ren answered.

"Guessing it'll tell sooner then you think." 

KING KAI: Let me check. (checks Wikipedia entry) Let’s see here. "Stupid monkeys hit by falling rocks. Hahahahahahaha! P.S. Freeza rules you." That doesn’t seem right--

"OK, so this 'Freeza' character has something to do with a entire race being nearly wiped out, how can someone destroy their own people?" Ruby saddened at the fact.

"What makes you think that this guy, or girl, killed their own race?" Blake asked.

"What do you mean?" the scythe-wielder confusingly wondered.

"Thing about it, what does each Saiyan name represent?"

"Uh, a vegetable?"

"Correct, and Freeza isn't a vegetable, it's a storage box, as well as a cooler box. So what does that tell you?"

Then it finally it Ruby like being hit in the back of the head. "Freeza isn't apart of the Saiyans, but a entirely different species of aliens!"

"It would seem so, as to why he would destroy them is another story altogether." Blake finishing off her case.

GOKU: Bored now. Let’s get back to training, King Kai!

"Wow, Goku has a shorter attention span than Nora." Weiss attempted at joking, which made Nora chuckled a little at Weiss' comment.

KING KAI: (lets out an exasperated sigh)

(scene changes to Master Roshi’s Island)

NARRATOR: And so, one year has passed-- the characters who actually did anything in the last series, but not in this one, have finally found themselves of use and have summoned the Eternal Dragon to wish back their fallen comrade, Goku!

BULMA: I don’t get it. Why are we doing this again?

MASTER ROSHI: Because my sister, Baba, told us to.

"Roshi has a sister!?" Everyone shouted in unison.

(Shenron gets summoned)

The cast was then in awe at the summoning of Shenron as they have never seen a dragon before, but Pyrrha felt a shiver run through her like a ghost walked through her.

SHENRON: You have summoned the eternal dragon. Make your wish and I’ll--(recognizes Master Roshi, Bulma, and Oolong, with disdain) Oh, God, it’s you guys again. Can’t anyone else find these damn things?! Ah, screw it, whatever, what do you want?

"Clearly he has some history with them." Yang slightly smiled.

MASTER ROSHI: There are two horrible Saiyans coming to our planet and we need Goku to be brought back to life in order to defeat them.

SHENRON: Really? You know you could, um, just wish me–a magical dragon–to send them into an asteroid field. One crossed wire and BOOM, right in the sun!

"The dragon is the smartest character, besides Bulma, to ever think of alternate solutions to solving problems." Weiss stated.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" Yang retorted.

MASTER ROSHI: (insistently) No, you see, as long as we have Goku, we’ll be fine.

SHENRON: (puzzled) Right... Yeah, okay, fine, whatever, I’ll grant your wish. Just don’t come crying to me when half your stupid asses get killed! Ah, who am I kidding? You will.

"He can do better jokes that Yang." Blake chuckled, while her partner give her the death stare look.

(Shenron's eyes starts to glow and then the scene changes to King Kai's planet, with Goku's halo disappearing)

GOKU: Hey, King Kai, I’m alive again!

KING KAI: Yes, and you’ve conveniently learned the Kaio-ken and the Spirit Bomb off-screen. Now get the f**k off my planet!

"That's some way to say 'goodbye'." Blake sarcastically stated.

GOKU: Alright, and thank you, King Kai, for all the training. It’ll be a hard fight when I return to Earth, but now, I’m truly confident--

KING KAI: GO HOME!!!

"Oum, and I thought Weiss was bad when we joined Beacon." Yang surprisingly thought out long.

"Well, I've been improving on my behaviour since then." Weiss stated in her calm and collected voice.

GOKU: 'Kay, bye! (flies off King Kai's planet)

(silence as King Kai, Gregory, and Bubbles watch Goku leave)

KING KAI: (sudden realization) Oh, God, what have I done?! I’m all alone again!

"Really smart, dumbass." Nora smirked, nearly on the verge of laughing.

BUBBLES: (subtitled) Well, good sir, you’ve still my modest company. How about I grab us some tea and some quiet music and we---

KING KAI: Shut up, Bubbles!

GREGORY: Well, I’m still here for you, sir.

KING KAI: Shut up, Gregory!

BOJACK: Yarr, You’ve still have--

KING KAI: Shut up, Bojack!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(scene shifts on Earth in a barren wasteland)

PICCOLO: All right, runt, your training is complete. Now you and I will take over the worl--

KAMI: (telepathically) Hello? Hello?

PICCOLO: (telepathically) Ugh. What is it, old man?

KAMI: (telepathically) I just wanted to check in and make sure you were ready for the Saiyans.

PICCOLO: (telepathically) Ready for the what now?

KAMI: (telepathically) Didn’t Mr. Popo tell you? There are two Saiyans headed towards the Earth as we speak. Both several times more powerful than the last one you faced. They should be landing pretty soon-- within a few days, in fact.

PICCOLO: New plan, Gohan, we’re going to kick some Saiyan ass!

"That seems impractical." Pyrrha stated.

"How so?" her leader asked.

"The fact the he is sending in a child into battle against people with planet-busting abilities for starters."

"Oh, uh, yeah I see where your coming from now."

GOHAN: Um, okay?

(silence)

PICCOLO: (telepathically) You’re still there, aren’t you?

KAMI: (telepathically) I’m just so lonely...

PICCOLO: (out loud) Get out of my head!

Everyone chuckled at Piccolo bursting out, but quickly recovered so they can watch the next episode.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(Scene changes to outer space, where Vegeta and Nappa's Space Pods are seen arriving at Earth.)

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (slightly annoyed) No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (more annoyed) No.

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (really annoyed) No!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (now irritated) NO!

NAPPA: Are we there yet?

VEGETA: (relieved) Yes.

"How has neither of them lost their voices throughout their travel?" Jaune asked with concern.

"Beats us!" Nora answered. 

(Space Pods crash through a building and land in the middle of the road, forming two huge craters)

NAPPA: Yaaay!

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene cuts to Vegeta and Nappa landing on the street, in front of a group of shocked citizens)

NAPPA: Hey look, Vegeta, more locals.

(citizens are shown to be completely scared with most of them whimpering)

CITIZEN: ....So, are you guys alien--

(Nappa destroys the entire city, leaving nothing but a gigantic crater)

NAPPA: Ahhh, I hate awkward silences.

VEGETA: Dammit, Nappa, think before you act! What if you’d have blown up one of the Dragon Balls?

NAPPA: The what now, Vegeta?

VEGETA: The Dragon Balls, Nappa. Don’t you remember our wish?

(flashback of Goku talking to Raditz about the DragonBalls)

"Is this a flashback to the first episode?" Weiss questioned with confusion.

"I believe so." Jaune answered with such believe.

GOKU: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them. They grant any wish you want-- like immortality?

OOLONG: Or Bulma’s panties!

(back to present)

NAPPA: Yeah, pandas...

VEGETA: You know what, Nappa? One of these days you’re going to die. Then you’ll be out of my hair forever. (caption appears at the bottom of the screen saying "Epic Foreshadowing") Now let’s just go. (Vegeta and Nappa fly off towards the Z-Fighters)

"Why did it say 'epic foreshadowing', what does that mean?" Ruby wondered.

"I think that Vegeta is going to kill Nappa." Weiss answered.

"B-but they partners." Ruby confusingly stuttered.

"But they weren't trained like how we are to a team." Blake corrected.

(scene changes to a barren wasteland)

PICCOLO: (senses the Saiyans' ki) Gohan, on your guard! They’re coming right towards us.

GOHAN: But, why would they be headed our way?

PICCOLO: They’re probably seeking to eliminate the strongest power level.

GOHAN: (not catching on) But... my dad’s dead.

PICCOLO: (getting irate) I was referring to me!

GOHAN: Oh, well by that logic, I suppose you would have the strongest power level on Earth.

MR. POPO: (appears as a tiny speck on top of a faraway plateau) Hah!

(Krillin arrives at the battlefield)

KRILLIN: Hey, guys, Krillin’s here!

PICCOLO: Oh, I thought I sensed someone else coming. Good, it seems you’ve increased your power since we last met.

KRILLIN: I know! Isn’t it great? I--

PICCOLO: You’re almost as strong as Gohan now.

KRILLIN: I-- Wait, b-but he’s only five...

"HE'S BEEN SENT TO FIGHTER HEARTLESS KILLERS AT THE AGE OF FIVE, IS PICCOLO INSANE!?" Weiss angrily questioned with little restraint.

"Weiss, calm down, deep breathes." Ruby and Yang advised as they cooled Weiss down.

GOHAN: It’s because I’m a Saiyan!

KRILLIN: Well, at least there’s only two of you. So, uh, how bad was the training with Piccolo?

GOHAN: Well, the training wasn’t that bad. Mr. Piccolo’s actually really nice after you get to know him.

(flashback of Gohan training with Piccolo)

PICCOLO: Gohan, I’ve brought you a sparring partner for today.

GOHAN: Really? Who?

(scene cuts to Gohan getting chased by a dinosaur)

Everyone bursts out laughing so hard that Nora fell off the bed, then climbed back on it as she continues to laugh.

(back to present)

GOHAN: So how was your training, Krillin?

(Krillin begins whimpering while Mr. Popo can be heard laughing and his eyes comes up behind Krillin.)

Weiss, Ruby and Yang small back away from the screen as Mr. Popo laughed.

KRILLIN: (breaking down crying) First rule of Popo’s training: Do not talk about Popo’s training!

GOHAN: (puzzled) Krillin, why are you crying?

KRILLIN: (voice starts breaking down) Second rule of Popo’s training...

"It must have been such a terrifying experience to leave such a character with some form of P.T.S.D." Pyrrha stated with Jaune frozen at wondering what the other rules are.

PICCOLO: Aw man, he’s already crying-- and the Saiyans aren’t even here ye--

NAPPA: Yeah we are!

(Vegeta and Nappa has arrived at the battlefield as Mars: The bringer of War by Gustav Holst plays in the background)

NAPPA: Hi.

(Vegeta and Nappa land in front of the group)

PICCOLO: So, you guys are the Saiyans?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: Don’t be rude, Nappa.

KRILLIN: And you’re here for the Dragon Balls?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: ...We are. And I am the prince of all Saiyans!

PICCOLO: You’re a prince?

NAPPA: No.

VEGETA: .....F**k you, Nappa.

"Language." Yang whispered.

PICCOLO: So what do we call you?

NAPPA: I am Nappa, and this is Vegeta. He was a prison...

VEGETA: (interrupting) Shut up, Nappa!

NAPPA: (whispering) ...bitch.

VEGETA: (Through clenched teeth) Dammit, Nappa.

"He so wants to kill him even more." Nora clearly states.

NAPPA: (notices Piccolo) Oh look, Vegeta, it’s a Namekian.

KRILLIN: Hey, I take offense to that.

PICCOLO: He’s referring to me, you idiot. And it’s not an insult; the Namekians are a fine, proud race of--

NAPPA: That means he doesn’t have a penis, right Vegeta.

"Wait WHAT!?," Weiss said with shock, "then how do they reproduce?"

"I think we'll find out eventually, Weiss." Jaune ensured.

(Piccolo stands gaping his mouth in shock as snickering from Krillin can be heard off-screen trying not to laugh)

VEGETA: (Amused) Eunuchs.

GOHAN: So what exactly does that make you, Mr. Piccolo? You survive mostly on water-- Does that make you a slug or a plant?

PICCOLO: (trying to restrain his anger) Gohan, not now!

GOHAN: And do you also conduct photosynthesis or do you---

PICCOLO & NAPPA: NEEEEEERD!!!

"NEEEEEERD!!!" Nora and Yang shouted at the same time.

GOHAN: Wait, what?

(a couple of news helicopters arrive at the battlefield)

MR. KENT: These are them, folks-- the terrible monsters who destroyed West City! Jimmy, hurry up and get a shot of the bald one.

JIMMY: (looks at Nappa, Krillin, and Piccolo) Um, Which one, Mr. Kent?

NAPPA: Look, Vegeta, the Paparazzi. I have to protect my image! (destroys a cargo robot)

JIMMY: Oh, my God, he blew up the cargo robot! And the cargo was people! (the rest of the news helicopters leave)

"Is that a reference to another series or something?" the red-head champion 

NAPPA: Good, now I’m gonna read their power levels, Vegeta.

(Nappa uses his scouter to read Gohan, Piccolo, and Krillin's power levels, which reads 0.8 Raditz for Gohan, 1.1 Raditz for Piccolo, and 0.9 Raditz for Krillin)

VEGETA: (removes his scouter) Nappa, don’t you understand? They can hide their power levels-- those readings are useless.

NAPPA: (also removes his scouter) You mean like YouTube friends?

"I'm guessing that is a 'social media' joke, right?" Ren wanting to confirm and Yang and Vegeta correct him.

VEGETA: Yes, and I have a better way of testing their power levels. Plant the Saibamen.

"Wait planet the wha-" Nora confusingly asked.

NAPPA: (plants a seed at the ground) Yay!

(six Saibamen erupt from the ground)

NAPPA: Ta-da!

"That's both ingenious and horrifying at the same time." the heiress said with a engrossed face on.

PICCOLO: (shocked) Wha-what are those?

VEGETA: They’re cultivated life forms. All with the same power level as Raditz. That’s right; he was so weak, we could actually grow Raditzes!

NAPPA: But, Vegeta, then you have to worry about the Fraggles.

VEGETA: Oh God dammit, Nappa, nobody’s going to get that.

"I mean, we don't." Jaune whispered.

TIEN: (off-screen) As a matter of fact...

(Tien and Chiaotzu arrive at the battlefield)

TIEN: I did.

VEGETA: (sarcastically) Oh, goody, more of them. Who the hell are you?

NAPPA: Vegeta, look, more bald people, (looks at Krillin) the small one, (looks at Piccolo and Tien) the two tall ones, and-- (looks at Chiaotzu) Ah... Ah... Vegeta! Look, a Pokémon.

"Really? A 'Pokemon' joke." Pyrrha groaned.

"Wait a damn minutes, Pyrrha, how do you know about?" the blond bombshell requested to know.

"Are you kidding, its one of the only video games that I mostly hated throughout my childhood."

CHIAOTZU: I’m not a Pokémon! I’m Chiaotzu! Chiaotzu!

NAPPA: Did you hear that, Vegeta? It’s a Chiaotzu. (holds a Poké Ball) I’m gonna catch it!

CHIAOTZU: I told you, I’m not a Poké-- (gets hit by a Poké Ball) OW!

NAPPA: Awwww, it didn't work, Vegeta.

VEGETA: That’s because you have to damage it first.

NAPPA: Alright, let's see if I can get a critical!

(Chiaotzu flinches in response; Yamcha arrives at the battlefield)

YAMCHA: Hey, guys, I’m here now.

KRILLIN: (joyfully) It’s Yamcha!

YAMCHA: That's right-- don't worry, guys, we worked ourselves half to death with our training, so I know as long as we stick together, we'll take on these Saiyans, and WE WILL WI--

(Saibamen latches onto Yamcha and self-destructs. All that's left after the explosion is Yamcha's corpse.)

Yang and Nora laughed at Yamcha's death while everyone else looked at them with concern.

KRILLIN: (off-screen) Yeah...! Woooo...!

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

(Nappa is naming the remaining five Saibamen, with an arrow pointing to the first four from right to left)

NAPPA: And that one’s Snuggles, and that one’s Foofoo, and that one’s Cabbagehead, and that one’s Other-Cabbagehead, (shows a Saibamen struggling to get up) and that one’s Vegeta Jr.

"And of course Nappa had named them individually." Blake sarcastically snarks.

[Vegeta kills Vegeta Jr.]

NAPPA: Vegeta Jr., Nooooo!

"It's about time this season is nearly finished." Weiss commented.

"Why, do you have something better to do?" Blake retorted.

"No, but we need to train for the Vytal Festival Tournament, that goes double for you, JNPR." Weiss pointed out as she aims at Jaune.

"OK we get it, but lets just finish this season first and then we'll join your team for training. Deal?" Jaune offered to Weiss, who agreed to the deal.

"Go, lets get on with the next episode." Yang states as Ruby presses the play button for the next video.

Chapter Text

"Started the episode without me, I'm going for a drink." the heiress said when she got up from her seat next the Ruby.

"OK Weiss." Ruby said as she pressed the play button.

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official  release.

(scene opens up at Kame House with Bulma, Master Roshi, Oolong and Puar watching a telecast of Yamcha's death)

MR. KENT: And there you have it, folks. That man is dead. Very, very dead.

JIMMY: Mr. Kent, if you had to come up with a word for how dead he is, what would it be?

MR. KENT: "Cadaverific!"

"Is that even a word?" Nora jokingly remarked.

BULMA: (breaks down crying in Master Roshi's chest) Yamcha! No! I was saving myself for him!

Pyrrha blushed a bit at Bulma's statues as a 'virgin', saving herself for the right person in her life. But unknowing to her partner sitting next to her, Jaune is that person she was to be with.

"Wait, can't they revive him with the Dragon Balls." Weiss realized as she came back from getting a glass of water.

MASTER ROSHI: (...?) Bulls**t!

Yang laughed at Roshi's retort.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to the battlefield with Krillin being struck with grief over Yamcha's death)

KRILLIN: Yamcha! Yamcha! Yamcha was our friend...and you bastards killed him! Don’t worry, Yamcha, I’ll avenge you!

PICCOLO: Oh right, you're going to avenge him? The five-year-old over here is stronger than you are!

KRILLIN: But I--

PICCOLO: Face it, you’re pretty much here as a meat shield.

"Good way to encourage his allies." Blake sarcastically stated.

"Well, to be fair," Ren retorted, "Piccolo doesn't seem to deal with large crowds often."

(Krillin is extremely angry)

NAPPA: Ha! Look at him, Vegeta. He’s like the Raditz of their group.

KRILLIN: That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! I can only be pushed so far!

(HUD from Final Fantasy VII appears at the bottom of the screen, selecting "Krillin" and "Limit")

(Scatter Shot appears at the top of the screen)

KRILLIN: KRILLIN LIMIT BREEEEEAK!!!!

(Battle music from Final Fantasy VII plays as Krillin uses Scatter Shot to kill three Saibamen; Victory music from Final Fantasy VII plays after Krillin's rampage)

"Wooh!, that was awesome!" Ruby cheered with excitement, nearly knocking her partners drink out of her hands.

KRILLIN: (while catching his breath) That was...for Yamcha.

VEGETA: Congratulations, you've just destroyed the equivalent of three Raditz.

KRILLIN: That’s right! What now, you son of a bi--

VEGETA: Nappa here is worth five Raditz.

KRILLIN: I-- uh... What?

VEGETA: And I am worth fifteen Raditz.

KRILLIN: (disappointed) I... Oh...

NAPPA: Aw, come on, don’t get so down on yourself. At least you’ve proven that your Raditz is still stronger than our Raditz.

(scene shift to Raditz)

RADITZ: I...hate...all of you!

"I wonder who would win a fight between Raditz and Yamcha?" Jaune questioned with Blake, Ren and Nora betting on Raditz while Yang, Ruby Pyrrha and Weiss sided on Yamcha's.

(scene shifts back to the battlefield)

VEGETA: So in short, good for you. Oh, by the way, you missed one.

(one Saibamen pops out from hiding and tries to attack Gohan, only to be grabbed by Piccolo)

PICCOLO: Yeah, no.

(punches the Saibamen in its stomach and throws it in the air before blasting it with a mouth blast)

GOHAN: That was incredible, Mr. Piccolo!

TIEN: Yeah, way to go!

KRILLIN: But, what about--

PICCOLO: Well, you can all learn a thing or two.

KRILLIN: But I just killed three of them--

CHIAOTZU: Nobody cares, Krillin!

KRILLIN: Aww...

"How has he not got depression because of his friends." Blake asked.

"He must optimistic." Yang answered.

VEGETA: Well, Nappa, looks like it’s your turn to teach them a lesson.

NAPPA: Yeah, right out of Saiyan University. (begins walking towards the Z-Fighters)

"I'm sorry, what!?" Pyrrha said in shock.

VEGETA: Hold on, you went to college?

NAPPA: Yup.

VEGETA: What the hell could someone like you possibly major in?!

NAPPA: Child Psychology.

"Then why is he killing innocent beings throughout the universe!?" the crimsonette shouted in confusion, only to find the answer to her question soon.

GOHAN: Wow, That sounds really interes--

NAPPA: With a minor in Pain! (dashes towards Tien and severs his left arm in one punch)

"Oh that's why."

(Tien screams in absolute pain)

VEGETA: Looks like he’s been...disarmed!

"That was terrible." Yang criticized as her teammates looked at her with half-lid eyes.

(silence as the wind blows)

NAPPA: (off-screen) I get it!

VEGETA: Shut it, Nappa.

Everyone chuckled at Vegeta's response to his partner.

(Tien leaps in the sky)

NAPPA: Oh, I love this game! Tag! (chases Tien and kicks him towards the ground) No tagbacks.

TIEN: (thinking) Agh, damn, this guy’s strong. Maybe it would be best if I just took Chiaotzu and-- (notices Chiaotzu is gone) Wait, where is he?!

(Chiaotzu is seen latched onto Nappa's back)

NAPPA: Vegeta, the Pokémon’s on my back.

TIEN: Chiaotzu! No!

"What is he doing?" Pyrrha panickedly. 

"I think he's about to sacrifice himself to defeat Nappa." Jaune calmly presumed.

NAPPA: Aww, I can’t get it off, Vegeta! Here, I’ll use Rock Smash.

(smashes his back into a rock, causing Chiaotzu to whimper in pain)

TIEN: Chiaotzu, you get down from there this instant!

CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) No! I have to do this, Tenshinhan! For all the people of Earth, our friends, and especially you!

TIEN: But Chiaotzu...!

CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) Don’t worry, you can just wish me back with the Dragon Balls! Now, goodbye, my friend!

TIEN: That won’t work, Chiaotzu! We already wished you back once with the Dragon Balls; we can’t do it twice!

"Wait, what?"  Everyone questioned in their minds just before Chiaotzu asked that himself.

CHIAOTZU: (telepathically) Wait, wha--? (explodes)

TIEN: N-No! No! Chiaotzu! CHIAOTZUUUU!!!

KRILLIN: Oh, my God... He blew into more pieces than Yamcha!

TIEN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

TIEN: He was my closest friend! I... I loved him.

KRILLIN: As a memorial to Yamcha: gay.

"Really, that joke against." Jaune lazily gestured.

TIEN: (thinking) At least your sacrifice wasn’t in vain, my friend.

(Nappa is revealed to be alive, leaving Chiaotzu's sacrifice to be in vain)

NAPPA: Aww, dang it, Vegeta. He used Self-Destruct. I hate it when they do that.

TIEN: (off-screen) DAMN IT!

Even Nora said the same thing.

NAPPA: (lands next to a grieving Tien) Awwww, I think I made him mad, Vegeta. Should I talk to him about it? The first step to working out your problems is healthy communication. And--

TIEN: HUAAAH! (tries to punch Nappa, but hits a boulder)

NAPPA: Hey, that was very rude! I was talking to VEGETA! (punches Tien, launching him into a boulder) 

GOHAN: Should-- shouldn’t we help him?

PICCOLO: Can’t you see he has to fight this battle on his own? He’s fighting for the honor of his fallen comrade.

(Nappa is seen beating Tien to a pulp)

Some of the cast laughed at Tien's request for assisted.

TIEN: (getting hit with each word) HELP ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP MEEEE!!!

PICCOLO: Like a hero.

And laughed even more when Tien's request fell on deaf ears.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, help him!

PICCOLO: Oh, fine! (to Krillin) Krillin, go!

(Piccolo and Krillin jump into the air to help Tien)

NAPPA: For PONY!!!!!!!! (Piccolo hits him) UWAGH! He hit me! (Krillin knocks Nappa towards the ground) GAH HA! He hit me too!

(Nappa is seen flying towards Gohan)

PICCOLO: Gohan, hurry up and blast him with all your strength! Before he has time to DOOOOODGE!

("dodge" echoes traumatically in Gohan’s head, causing him to scream and run for cover)

PICCOLO: Damn you, Pavlov!

(scene goes static and switches to a news reporter)

NEWS REPORTER: For those of you who don’t know who Pavlov is, allow us to take a brief moment to explain. Back in 1904--

OOLONG: (banging his hand on the TV) Get back to the fight!

"Yeah, back to the fight!" Nora shouted.

NEWS REPORTER: Annnd back to the fight.

"Thank you." the ginger hammer-wielder politely said.

(scene goes static and changes back to the fight, with Nappa recovering from Piccolo and Krillin's surprise attack)

NAPPA: Hey, not gonna lie. Dick move, guys, dick move.

KRILLIN: Piccolo, do you have a plan?

PICCOLO: That depends; can you get him in a Full Nelson?

KRILLIN: Any plans that don’t involve killing me?

PICCOLO: Well, there is the multi-form technique.

"I sense that it's a cloning-like technique, isn't it?" Blake asked to the blonde leader.

"Guess we'll found out soon enough."

KRILLIN: But doesn’t that cut our power levels by--

PICCOLO: Plan A or Plan B, Krillin!

KRILLIN: Plan B! Plan B!

PICCOLO & KRILLIN: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! (three clones of Piccolo and Krillin appear)

NAPPA: Vegeta! I can’t....."believe it".

(Vegeta gives off an annoyed groan off-screen)

(the three Piccolos and Krillins attack Nappa, who dominates them with his superior strength)

PICCOLO: (thinking) Hrgh, he’s dodging every hit! We can’t lay a finger on him! What kind of incredible mental discipline has this guy gone through?

"Actually, what is he thinking?" Weiss wondered, only for the video to answer it for her.

NAPPA: Patty cake, patty cake, baker’s MAN! (punches a Krillin clone) Bake me a cake as fast as you CAN! (punches a Piccolo clone and eventually launches all three clones towards the ground)

"I'm not even surprised anymore." Weiss whispered.

(Krillin slams onto the ground, followed by his two clones, causing him to groan in pain)

(Krillin Owned Count: 5-7)

"Not even his clones can protect him from his 'Owned Count'." Ruby dramatically said to herself.

(Piccolo also hits the ground, followed by his doubles, which knocks him down)

NAPPA: Good effort, but I’m the Patty Cake champion.

PICCOLO: (after a short pause) What?

NAPPA: But, at least you didn’t uselessly self-destruct like that Pokémon.

TIEN: (gets up from Nappa's beatdown earlier) You stupid...ugly...son of a bitch. (begins charging a blast) His name...was CHIAOTZU! KIKŌHŌ! (fires a Spirit Tri-Beam at Nappa)

NAPPA: Yeah, that Chiaotzu-- OH, MY GOOOOOD! (gets hit directly by Tien's attack)

TIEN: (thinking) Right here... Right behind you, Chiaotzu. (falls on the ground, dying from using up all his energy)

Everyone slowly realized that Tien is dead but then realized that they can bring him back with the Dragon Balls.

(Nappa again survives the attack, this time, losing some of his armor)

NAPPA: Aha, pointless.

KRILLIN: (absolutely terrified) We’re gonna die, aren’t we.

NAPPA: Yep! (charges towards the remaining Z-Fighters, who all stand frozen in fear, but suddenly stops in midair and looks at Vegeta)

NAPPA: Vegeta!

VEGETA: (annoyed) What?

NAPPA: I can fly...!

"M-my brain is starting to hurt now." Weiss complained as she left for a paracetamol.

VEGETA: (starts stammering before letting out a sigh) Yes, Nappa, yes you can.

KRILLIN: You know, you’re gonna be in a lot of trouble once Goku gets here!

VEGETA: Who?

KRILLIN: Goku! He’s stronger than all of us combined!

VEGETA: Well then, I guess we better kill you before he gets here.

KRILLIN: W-Wait, I mean...

NAPPA: But Vegeta, I wanna meet the strong guy!

VEGETA: Nappa just kill them first and--

NAPPA: But I want him to see us kill them!

VEGETA: Oh, God, there’s no arguing with you. Fine, I’ll give you three hours tops. After that, I’m killing all of you.

NAPPA: Yay! And now we wait.

Weiss then returned to see what she missed, and Jaune told her that Krillin told Vegeta that Goku's on his way and now their going to what for he. Weiss then sat down next to Ruby and continues to watch the show.

"You OK now, Weiss?" the scythe-wielder asked with concern.

"I'm fine now, thanks." she said with a smile on her face.

(Thirty seconds later...)

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No.

"Oh Oum it's happening again!" Jaune panicked.

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No...!

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: No!

NAPPA: Is he here yet?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: NO!

(long pause)

NAPPA: Is he here ye--?

VEGETA, PICCOLO, GOHAN, & KRILLIN: NO!!!

VEGETA: Goddamn it, Nappa, just go do something! Go have fun-- I don’t care how.

NAPPA: Oh boy! This is gonna be my best...day...ever.

(scene shifts to Nappa destroying both naval and air forces, laughing while doing so, while Peewee's Pocket Circus plays in the background)

"Are we just going to ignore to fact that Nappa just destroyed a fleet without even trying, right?" Weiss shockingly questioned as everyone else agreed to the heiress' statement.

(scene shifts back to the battlefield with the Z-Fighters waiting for Goku until Vegeta's scouter beeps)

VEGETA: Well, time’s up-- time to die. (removes his scouter and throws it at the ground)

PICCOLO: So, where’s your friend--

NAPPA: I'm back! (elbows Piccolo in the head)

Everyone then bursted out laughing when Nappa returned.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

[STINGER]

VEGETA: Nappa, where did your armor go?

NAPPA: I had a hell of a day, Vegeta. I sank their battleship...and their whales.

(scene shifts to the remains of a navy ship floating in a bloody ocean, presumably the blood of the whales Nappa indirectly murdered)

"Oum, that's disturbing." Pyrrha bluntly said to herself.

AQUAMAN: (off-screen) Nooo...

"Huh, well bathroom break, we'll get back to watch the last two episodes later, but for now lets mingle for a bit." Yang stated with the idea of everyone needing to stretching their legs for a bit. They accepted the idea and they talked, get a few small snacks and drinks or when to the backroom.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(scene opens up with Gohan trying to wake up Piccolo, who is unconscious from Nappa's attack last episode)

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, wake up! You have to stop him!

PICCOLO: (incoherent mumbling)

KRILLIN: Don’t worry, Gohan! Goku's never let us down! I’m sure he’ll be here any second!

(scene cuts to Goku eating food at Princess Snake's castle at Other World)

"How can he eat when his friends are endanger of being killed!" Weiss screamed like a mad woman while Ruby and Jaune chuckled at Goku's atticks.

GOKU: (with his mouth full) Thanks for the food again, Princess Snake!

PRINCESS SNAKE: Well, it’s the least I could do for trying to eat you like that. But I thought there was... (GOKU:Hmm, bacon!) something else you had to do? Something about Saiyans...and the Earth?

(Goku gulps down his food and takes a long pause)

(scene cuts to Goku running on Snake Way)

GOKU: Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

Ruby, Yang and Nora laughed their asses off with Jaune, Pyrrha, Ren and Blake chuckled while Weiss scuft at the sense of humour.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts to Gohan still trying to wake up an unconscious Piccolo)

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, get up! Please, get up! Seriously, he’s gonna kill us!

NAPPA: Well, the green guy’s out. Too bad. Guess I’ll have to find someone else to play with!

KRILLIN: (thinking) Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! Please not me! PLEASE NOT ME!!!

NAPPA: Eenie-meenie-minie-(to Gohan) you.

"That seems unfair." the crimsonette sadly groaned to fell sympathy for Gohan.

GOHAN: Wh-What?! (Nappa kicks Gohan) AUGH!

(Gohan gets sent flying into a boulder and lands on the ground)

KRILLIN: (off-screen) WHOOO! Not me! (notices Gohan does not get up) Gohan? (Nappa looks towards Krillin) Uh-oh! Thought that would have lasted longer!

NAPPA: Midget's next! (charges after Krillin) RHAAAA!!!

KRILLIN: (desperately) Wait! My turn! My turn! My turn!

NAPPA: Oh! (suddenly stops dead in his tracks)

"How does that work, how CAN that work?" the Faunus asked with a dumbfort expression on her face.

"He must be THAT stupid if he thinks that works." the lightning absorber smugly said.

"Nora, you're equally as like to fall for the same trick." Ren stated.

"Yeah, yeah I would." Nora whisperly groan for Ren to only hear and simle at to acknowledge her own faults.

VEGETA: What-- Nappa, what are you doing?

NAPPA: It’s his turn, Vegeta. I have to wait for him.

VEGETA: (stammers in complete confusion while his nose starts to bleed)

"Gross!" the blonde leader and heiress groaned in unison.

NAPPA: You okay, Vegeta?

VEGETA: Yes just...just an aneurysm out of sheer stupidity...

NAPPA: Wow, didn’t think you were that stupid, Vegeta.

"That's some comeback, I think I like Nappa in some way." Nora commented as she chuckled at the brute Saiyans stupidity.

(Vegeta screams in frustration)

VEGETA: (struggling to restrain his temper) Nine minutes, eighteen seconds... Nine minutes, eighteen seconds...

NAPPA: What’s that, Vegeta?

VEGETA: Happiest...moment...of...my life.

"Is that a reference or something," Jaune questioned, "because I don't reconisise it." and everyone nodded with a 'no' expression.

KRILLIN: Hey! STOP TREATING ME LIKE A JOKE, DAMMIT! I’ve got a new technique-- (begins charging his Destructo Disc) Which I probably could have used earlier and maybe saved all of our friends’ lives... But, that’s besides the point! Get ready for my DESTRUCTO DISC!

PICCOLO: (barely alive) Laaame...

"I have to disagree on that arguement." Jaune countered as Ruby agreed with awe on her face.

KRILLIN: Now, take THIS! (throws Destructo Disc at Nappa)

NAPPA: Ooo! A frisbee, Vegeta!

VEGETA: Nappa, no! It's a trick!

NAPPA: But Vegeta, Trix are for kids.

"I'm curious," Blake wondered, "will Vegeta kill his partner for his annoyance."

"It won't surprise me if he did." Weiss bluntly stated with her own annoyance of Yang's terrible puns.

VEGETA: ...You know what, Nappa? On second thought, catch it. Catch it with your teeth.

NAPPA: Yay, like a doggy! Bow--(gets cut by the disc, which rebounds towards a small mountain) Ow!

RICOLA GUY: Riiiicolaaaa... (The disc cuts the top of the plateau off, causing it to fall) OH, GODDAMN IT!!!(the top collapses into a pile of rubble)

NAPPA: (seeing the cut on his face) Oh no! My face! My precious modeling career!

"Wait what!?" Weiss questioned as everyone else laughed.

(Remembers having his photo taken for a Vogue magazine)

They laughed even more as the photos reveiled themselves.

NAPPA: You know, I was trying to be a team player. (begins charging a blast) Trying to be a nice guy!

KRILLIN: You killed half our friends!

NAPPA: I said, "trying!" (throws blast at Krillin)

KRILLIN: Well you’re failing-- Oh, God! (gets hit by Nappa's blast)

(Krillin Owned Count: 8)

NAPPA: And so are you!

PICCOLO: I’m back! (shoots Nappa in the back)

NAPPA: AAAAAUGH... Iseewhatyoudidthere.

Most of the female hunters chuckled while Jaune struggled to hold back his laughter.

PICCOLO: Now, it’s you and me, big guy! And I’m gonna kick your a--

(Gohan, also regaining conscious, kicks Nappa into a pile boulder)

GOHAN: Take that, you insufferable f**king simpleton!

PICCOLO: WHOA, Gohan! What the hell?!

GOHAN: (calmed down) Oh? Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Piccolo, I didn't mean to snap like that!

PICCOLO: No, stay snapped! STAY SNAPPED-- (Nappa recovers from the attack) Augggh, goddamn it...

NAPPA: (growls) You-a-making-me-so-mad! (begins charging up a powerful blast while Gohan stands still, completely paralyzed in fear)

NAPPA: Vegeta, look, "Imma firing my--" (face turns into Shoop the Whoop)BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

Jaune and Yang were laughing at the old reference while the rest of their teammates looked confused but still giggled a little.

(Gohan still does not try and dodge the blast and stands still, paralyzed with fear)

PICCOLO: (thinking while running towards Gohan) Alright, it’s time to redeem myself-- through one final act of redemption. (appears in front of Gohan to protect him from Nappa's attack) I’ll save Gohan and-- Wait a second, why didn’t I just grab him? I can probably still do that now, actually! Yeah, that's it, I’ll grab him and throw him out of the way-- (gets hit by Nappa's blast) GAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(a giant explosion occurs, which causes a giant shockwave)

KRILLIN: WAAHAA!!

(smoke clears, revealing that Piccolo is still alive, but mortally wounded)

PICCOLO: Yeah, that’s right, I can take anything you can dish o-- (in his thoughts) oh, God, there go my organs.(falls to the ground)

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!

PICCOLO: (weakly) Unh... Gohan...come closer... There’s...something...I have to tell you...

GOHAN: Is it that you always pictured me as a son, because you can never make your own-- considering you lack the reproductive organs to produce your own legitimate offspring?

PICCOLO: (weakly) Neeeeerrrrrrd.

"Neeeeerrrrrrd." Yang and Nora whispered but got death glares from Ren, Ruby and Weiss.

"It was kinda sweet before you ruined it sis." the scythe-wielder groaned in annoyance from her sisters antics.

GOHAN: Wh-what?

PICCOLO: Just...shut up and...listen.

GOHAN: What is it, Mr. Piccolo?

PICCOLO: (weakly) Why...didn't...you... (at the top of his lungs) DOOOOOOOODGE?! Bleh. (dies)

"I don't know whether to laugh or stay silent." Nora whispered to her partner. To which he said to remain quick for now.

GOHAN: NOOOOOO!! (his scream continues to echo, eventually being heard at Kami's Lookout)

KAMI: Ugh! Well Mr. Popo, it seems my time has come. But don’t worry, my friend, you can go to Namek and wish myself and the others back with their Dragon Balls. It will be a long and arduous journey, but I’m sure you can--

MR. POPO: Bitch, I ain’t going nowhere.

KAMI: But Mr. Popo, the fate of the entire universe is--

MR. POPO: Pecking order!

KAMI: But... I... Well then... goodbye, my friend. (fades away following the death of Piccolo)

"Ohhhhhh, I see, if one of them dies so does the other, making the Dragon Balls inaccessible to anyone. Its ingenious!" Jaune explain only for the Schnee heiress to retort.

"But won't that mean that no one, like the heroes, can use them to restore their friends after the battle." Weiss backfired.

"OK, so not so ingenious, but still amazing to think of, right?" the male leader corrected.

MR. POPO: (zooms in to his eyes) Byyyye.

Everyone felt a shiver run through their own spines at Popo's final words.

(scene shifts back to the battlefield, with Krillin helplessly watching Gohan mourn over Piccolo's death)

NAPPA: Vegeta, did you see me kill the green guy?

VEGETA: (reading a magazine) Yes, Nappa, that was a very good kick.

"Haha, oh he's like the stereotype father that doesn't care." the blonde bombshell joked as everyone, minus Weiss who is kinda sensitive to the topic, laughed out loud.

NAPPA: Daww, Vegeta! You weren't watching! Can you at least watch me kill the toddler?

VEGETA: Ugh, fine! (throws magazing at the ground)

GOHAN: GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I'm gonna eviscerate you and use your gastrointestinal tract as a condom while I fornicate with your skull!

NAPPA: (short pause) What?

GOHAN: I’M GONNA SKULLF*CK YOU! MASENKOOO-HAAAAA! (fires a Masenko at Nappa)

Everyone in the room slightly backed away in their seats from Gohan's quote-angry statement and action.

NAPPA: AAAAAH!

(Nappa deflects Gohan's blast into a plateau)

NAPPA: (while holding his hand, which is numb) Arrrrrgh. Bitch Please!

GOHAN: I’m sorry, Mr. Piccolo. I-I failed you...

KRILLIN: You sure did! I uh... I mean...sorry for your loss.

NAPPA: Well, it’s been fun, kid--I mean, for me, not for you. As for you, everyone important to you is dead.

KRILLIN: Hey, I’m still alive--

NAPPA: Everyone important!

 "Why are they mean to Krillin of all people." the cat Faunus wondered.

KRILLIN: (sadly) Dammit.

NAPPA: (raises his foot) Now, Nappa Smash!

(Gohan and Krillin both close their eyes, preparing for the worst, but Gohan is suddenly moved out of the way before Nappa can crush him with his foot)

NAPPA: Oo-wa-waa? Hey! Where’d he go! Did he disappear, or was he never there to begin with? (dramatic music and screen zooms in on Nappa's face)

"If he lives, I want see more of this." Nora chuckled.

(Gohan is shown to be on top of Flying Nimbus)

NAPPA: Oh wait, there he is.

GOHAN: Huh?

(Goku lands, finally arriving at scene of the battle)

GOKU: Hey, guys! What'd I miss? I--(notices everyone's corpses) Oh, are they all... Tenshinhan... Piccolo...? Yamcha? Oh wow, especially Yamcha... (notices Chiatzu body is nowhere to bee seen) Wait, where’s Chiaotzu?

KRILLIN: Oh, he’s here...and there...and there...and--

GOHAN: Krillin!

KRILLIN: What?

GOHAN: Too soon!

GOKU: I’m sorry I’m late, you guys. But I brought some Senzu Beans for you!

KRILLIN: Woohoo! Thank you, Ex Machina.

GOKU: (to Vegeta and Nappa) Hey! Which one of you did all this?

NAPPA: That was me, totally calling it. (Goku is shaking in rage over the loss of his friends) I killed every single one of them-- except for Chiaotzu. He blew himself up!

(Goku continues to shake in anger and begins to power up)

GOKU: (powering up) HHHHAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!

NAPPA: Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level?

VEGETA: (Takes off his scouter) It's...one thousand and six.

NAPPA: Wha-- really?

"Yeah, that doesn't seem that high," Pyrrha said, "even the training on King Kai's planet seemed to be more extreme than mine was after my second tournament."

"How bad was it?" Ruby questioned, "i-if you don't mind me asking." She sheepishly sunk as she paused the series.

"Well one of the exercises was to combat multiple opponents at one," the Mistral champion went in detail, "and another was to predict when someone was going to attack me, while blind folded."

"That must of been rough." Jaune sympatheticly said as he hugged his teammate. Until Nora inturpted. 

"Boorrrriiinnnng, let's watch so more fighting!" As she hits play on Ruby's Scroll.

VEGETA: Yeah, kick his ass, Nappa! (turns off his scouter)

NAPPA: YAY! (charges into battle with Goku)

(Nappa gets beaten to pulp while Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin watch, completely shocked at Goku's beatdown)

NAPPA: (while getting pummeled by Goku) OOOWWW! Ow ow ow ow! Dah! Doh! Dah! Doh! Doh! Doh! Doh!

Even the hunters were in shock and satisfied with Goku getting revenge on his friends death.

VEGETA: Hm, that doesn't seem right...

NAPPA: (faintly in background) My arm doesn't bend that way! My arm doesn't bend that way! (loud crunching sound is heard) Oh, now it does!

VEGETA: Wait, wait, wait, wait... Nappa!

(Nappa gets knocked over next to Vegeta)

NAPPA: (in pain) WHAAAAAT?!

VEGETA: I had the Scouter upside down. (once again takes off his scouter) It's over nine thousand. (calmly crushes scouter) Rah.

NAPPA: Why do you sound so bored?!

VEGETA: Because, it's still not a threat.

NAPPA: But--

VEGETA: To me. Besides, once we get the Dragon Balls, we’ll just wish for immortality! Then no one will be able to stop us.

"Well, prepare to be soarly disappointed." Blake sarcastically stated with a semi-smiling cat grin on her face.

GOKU: Wait, what? But you killed Piccolo.

VEGETA: And your point is...?

GOKU: Well, if he’s dead, the Dragon Balls don’t work.

VEGETA: Wh... what?

NAPPA: Oh, and I totally killed that guy. Oh well, at least we still had fun getting here, right, Vegeta? (Vegeta growls in anger) Vegeta? Remember the bug planet? (Vegeta continues growling in anger) Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vege-- (scene cuts to Nappa getting killed by Vegeta) AAAAAAAAAGH!!! (gets obliterated in an explosion as Vegeta is last seen staring at the sky and giving an evil smirk)

"Nappa! Nnnnooooo!" Nora cried out.

"Well, I did call it." the Faunus said with little surprise for this situation.

[ENDING SEQUENCE]

"Wait, no 'post episode' scene, that's disappointing." Yang groaned with crossed arms.

"Alright guys, so the last episode is split into three parts, so let's watch them back-to-back!" Ruby enthusiastically shouted as the final episode loads up.

Chapter Text

Part 1

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

VEGETA: (laughs maniacally) He's gone! He's finally gone! I’m so happy right now! I might not even slaughter you all!

"This is probably the most happiest he's been." Weiss commented, "and that scares me." To which everyone agrees.

KRILLIN: Re-Really?

VEGETA: (laughter dies down) Oh no, you’re all thoroughly screwed.

KRILLIN: Awww.

"Sometimes, I feel your pain Krillin." Ren honestly stated with the amount of memories he and Nora had when they were much younger.

GOKU: Gohan, Krillin, I’ll handle Vegeta on my own. I need the both of you to get as far away as-- (Krillin is suddenly gone) Where’d Krillin go?

(scene cuts to Krillin screaming flying away and then back to the battlefield where Goku places his hand on Gohan)

GOKU: Gohan, follow Krillin. Get home to your mother.

GOHAN: Right, Daddy. Is there anything you want me to tell her?

GOKU: Yes, Gohan. Tell her... ("Coming Undone" by Korn plays as the camera slightly zooms in on Goku's face) to put dinner on... ("Coming Undone" plays again with the camera zooming in on Goku's face) because I’m hungry. (plays a third time with the camera once again zooming in on Goku's face)

"Wait, didn't he eat something during the previous episode?" Pyrrha questioned with confusion. Jaune confirmed her suspicion as he remembers.

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene cuts to Goku flying down on the battlefield)

VEGETA: Alright, are you ready for this?

GOKU: You bet I am! But first, why don’t we take this battle somewhere else?

VEGETA: What’s wrong with here?

GOKU: I don’t know. Something about it doesn’t feel right.

VEGETA: Well, it is a little corpsy. (looks at the corpses of Yamcha, Tien, and Piccolo)

"A little? He calls that little?" Blake questioned only for Yang to remind her that he destroyed a planet a couple episodes ago.

(scene shifts to King Kai's planet)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on King Kai’s planet.

KING KAI: (in his thoughts) So, the fight is about to begin. The showdown between the Saiyan elite and the low-class warrior, trained by me. (out loud) Takin’ all bets, guys! Takin’ all bets!

"10 Lien on Goku!" the blonde bombshell shouted. Ruby paused the video to see where this lead too.

"25 Lien on Vegeta living to fight another day." the blonde leader placing he bet.

"40 Lien on Goku." Pyrrha and Weiss placing their bets in unison. Blake complain if it was necessary to do this, but Yang and Nora reassured her it was harmless fun so the cat Faunus joined in, placing her winnings of 20 Lien to Goku finishing Vegeta off with the apposite 'Kaio-Ken' technique.

"Ren & I places OUR bets with 35 Lien on Goku." the lightning absorber, filled with confidence, stated while her partner just shrugged his head confusion.

"Alright then, has everyone placed their bets?" Ruby asked, and everyone nodded their heads. But before she could hit play Nora inturpts her with why Ruby hasn't placed any bets, to which she responses with: "I'm not old enough to gamble yet, also my dad and Yang try extremely well to make sure that I never gamble."

Everyone nodded in understanding while Nora was shouting "Boring!" but they ignored her and continued watching.

BUBBLES: (subtitled) 70,000 zeni on the noble young warrior!

BOJACK: (from inside King Kai's planet) Yargh! I bet 50 gold doubloons on the short one!

GREGORY: Uh, sir, is this really appropriate? If Goku loses, the entire Earth could be destroyed!

(King Kai creates a large hammer)

"Not going to complain this time Weiss-cream?" Yang teasingly asked her white-haired teammate.

"No, I'm just going to come to the conclusion of 'Plot Magic' for these types of situations." she replied.

KING KAI: You were saying?

GREGORY: D’ah, 1,000 zeni on Goku.

NARRATOR: Hey, can I get in on this?

KING KAI: Wait a second. Don’t you already know the outcome of the fight?

NARRATOR: N-Noooo......

"Because that's not a lie at all." Jaune sarcastically said.

(scene cuts back to Earth where Goku guides Vegeta to a wasteland to start their battle)

GOKU: This is it!

VEGETA: Ah, yes. A perfect place to mark your grave.

GOKU: Listen, we don’t have to do this, you know. If you leave now and promise to never come back, I’ll let you go. And we can stop this meaningless bloodshed.

"You know, Goku's innocent side kinda matches with you, Ruby." Pyrrha commented with a smile while Ruby thanked her for the complement.

VEGETA: Such trite! Where’s your Saiyan pride, Kakarot? We are proud warriors! Bred to fight and conquer. This planet has made you soft.

GOKU: Are you sure about this? Because even if you’re a little sorry--

VEGETA: No! I’m not sorry!

GOKU: Are you absolutely sure you--

VEGETA: Yes! I am entirely sure! (Goku begins powering up) I’m going to obliterate you and the rest of this planet myself with my own two--

GOKU: KAIO-KEN! (charges at Vegeta)

VEGETA: Kaio-what--

Blake's cat-ears twitched behind her bow, thinking that the 'Kaio-what' is going to be a running gag for some time.

(Goku punches Vegeta in the face and proceeds to attack him with a barrage of punches before knocking him away. Vegeta however recovers from the attack and kicks Goku in the face)

VEGETA: (breathes heavily) Okay, not bad. But still nothing compared to me. Now witness the power of a Saiyan elite!

GOKU: Elite? What’s that mean?

VEGETA: It means I’m of the upper class. A finer breed! The highest grade of warrior!

(Goku floats there silently, blinking confusedly)

VEGETA: (sighs) Okay, consider yourself beef jerky while I’m filet mignon.

GOKU: Oooh, I like both those things!

VEGETA: (after a short pause) I'm going to start beating you now. I don't know when I'll stop.

"I wouldn't blame him." Ren whispered to himself.

GOKU: Hopefully before dinner, because I told Gohan to tell Chi-Chi to-- (Vegeta headbutts Goku) AH! (Vegeta elbows Goku towards the ground) Unh!

VEGETA: Hah! What’s wrong, Kakarot? Can’t keep up? (throws a fiery ki blast at Goku) I told you, Kakarot. There’s no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You’re fighting a losing battle here. (Goku removes the torn portion of his shirt) You may as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and--

GOKU: Kaio-Ken times three! (once again turns Kaio-Ken and flies at Vegeta)

VEGETA: Times wha--

(Goku punches Vegeta in the face, sending him screaming and flying into a plateau)

"Holy Brothers, and just 'times three'?" Yang shockingly wondered, "why can't anyone else use such an ability?"

"I think we'll find out sooner or later." Weiss answered.

VEGETA: (in pain) This... proves... nothing.

"It kinda does..." Ruby said with a little chuckle behind her words.

GOKU: Are you okay in there?

VEGETA: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm fan-f**king-tastic... nothing but gumdrops and ice-cream in here.

GOKU: (delighted) Oh, really? Can I come in too?

"How dense is he?" the cat Faunus rhetorically wondered.

VEGETA: (short pause) I'm surrounded by idiots.

GOKU: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice-cream.

(Vegeta screams with rage as he destroys the plateau around him)

Everyone laughed at both Goku's response and Vegeta's reaction.

VEGETA: I will not stand for this! I will not be humiliated by a low-class wretch!

GOKU: Aww, sounds like somebody's got an ice-cream headache!

VEGETA: THAT'S IT!!! EVERYONE DIES!!! (launches himself into the air with a purple aura surrounding him and begins charging up energy) Say goodbye to your planet, Kakarot!

GOKU: Well, that's not very nice.

VEGETA: OF COURSE NOT! I'M F**KING EVIL! GALICK GUN!

GOKU: Oooh, did he say Garlic--

VEGETA: (in distance) AAARRRGH!

They continue to laugh at their interactions even more. But they managed to calm down when Goku powered up.

GOKU: (powers up to Kaio-Ken x3) Oh man! (cups his hands behind his back for a Kamehameha wave) KA... ME... HA... ME...

VEGETA: FIRE!!!

GOKU: HA!!!

(both energy waves clash in mid-air)

Everyone was in shock and awe as the energy beams crashed into each other.

VEGETA: This is the end, Kakarot! You don’t stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! (Goku is seen struggling in the clash) Now perish, with the rest of your pathetic world!

GOKU: Hungh... Kaio-Ken...

VEGETA: (stunned pause) No...

"Yeah." Nora replied.

GOKU: Times...

VEGETA: (as if trying to deter Goku) No, no, no...

"Yeah, yeap, yep." she continues.

GOKU: FOUR! (Kamehameha overpowers Galick Gun)

VEGETA: Nononononononono-- (gets carried away by the blast) FUUUUUUUUUUU...

"Yeayayayayayayayay--." the lightning absorber finishes.

"It goes, goes aaaaand it's gone." Yang chuckled.

(scene shifts to Kame House)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the ranch.

(camera cuts in inside Kame House with Bulma, Chi-Chi, Ox-King, Master Roshi, Oolong, and Turtle)

BULMA: Remember when we used to do stuff? You know, be out there with them? And help?

(They all agree. Fortuneteller Baba is seen working her crystal ball.)

OOLONG: And remember the Red Ribbon Army?

"The what what army?" Jaune questioned to which no one answers.

(They all remember)

MASTER ROSHI: And what about King Piccolo?

"How did Piccolo go from 'king' to 'living in a wasteland'?" Blake wondered.

(They all remember, with Bulma saying "Good times. Good times.")

BULMA: Whatever happened to Launch?

(silence)

MASTER ROSHI: Who?

"Who?" everyone else questioned.

(scene cuts to a bar with a hungover Launch and a bartender with "The Singing Sea" from "Cowboy Bebop" playing)

LAUNCH: (sighs)

(scene cuts to the sky)

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the plot...

"That has to be a record." Ruby said to herself.

VEGETA: (still getting carried off by Goku's Kamehameha) ...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! (moves away from the blast and starts breathing heavily) Son of a bitch! This can’t be happening! I’m the prince! I’m supposed to be the best by default! (continues to breathe heavily before smirking) I’ll show that little bastard! I’ll become the mighty Ōzaru and crush him into the-- (tires to look for the moon) Where’s the moon? (in distance) WHERE’S THE DAMN MOON?!

"But it's still day." Yang corrected.

(cuts to a flashback of Piccolo staring at the moon)

PICCOLO: MOOOOOOOOOON!!! (fires a ki blast that destroys the moon)

"BLLLLLLAAAAAAST!!!" the hyperactive ginger yelled.

(cuts back to the present where Vegeta lands in front of Goku.)

GOKU: Huh?

VEGETA: Very clever, Kakarot! I’d taken you for a fool but it seems you’re far more cunning than you let on! But destroying the moon won’t stop me! We’ve learned to create artificial moons that supply the necessary pl--

GOKU: Question.

VEGETA: What?

GOKU: Are they made of cheese?

Everyone snickered at the question while Yang looked at her little sister when she asked that question when she was about 4-5 years old.

VEGETA: (short pause) I’m going to enjoy this far more than I should.

(Vegeta creates an artificial moon and shoots it into the sky)

VEGETA: Now watch, Kakarot, as your life becomes inconsequential, (camera slowly pans up Vegeta's body) as I reveal my giant monkey...

(camera stops in front of Vegeta's crotch; scene cuts to a group of viewers gasping in fear over seeing Vegeta's crotch at a jumbotron)

"Who the hell shot that angle?" the heiress cringed.

"Better question: Who is filling this?" Jaune thinking of the bigger question.

VEGETA: ...form.

(camera moves quickly up to Vegeta's face; crowd watching the jumbotron sigh in relief)

PENIS GUY: Thank God, I thought he meant penis!

"We, gross!" Pyrrha and Ruby both groaned.

(Vegeta begins transforming into an Ōzaru)

GOKU: (thinking) He’s getting huge. That means he’ll only be stronger. That means he won’t be as fast-- (Ōzaru Vegeta punches a plateau Goku is standing on) Oh, God, he’s still as fast! (dodges a punch and lands on the ground) He’s too powerful! I have to come up with a plan! Wait, I know! (out loud) I just have to think like a monkey! (closes his eyes)Hmm... (hears screeching noises) Hey, it’s working!

KING KAI: (telepathically) No, that’s just Bubbles. Get off my back, Bubbles!

(a loud thud is heard off screen with Bubbles groaning in pain)

KING KAI: Goku, listen, the only way that you can beat him is if you use the Spirit Bomb!

GOKU: (raises both hands into the sky) On it!

KING KAI: And whatever you do, make sure you’re very well hidden! It’s going to take a lot of time to gather up all that energy!

"Screw campers!" the blonde leader silently complained from his history of play online video games.

GOKU: (gets hit by Ōzaru Vegeta) Aaaaaaggggghhhh!

(crystal ball goes static)

PHONE OPERATOR: We’re sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again later.

KING KAI: Huh.

Part 2

(scene opens up with Goku getting launched by Ōzaru Vegeta's attack)

ŌZARU VEGETA: What did I tell you, Kakarot? I'm ten times stronger in this form, while you are beaten and weary.

GOKU: (thinking) Man, this is worse than that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and... (out loud) Oh wow, I hit that rock harder than I thought.

"For some reason I'm have a feeling that something like that exists somewhere." Blake said with a shiver sent through her back.

ŌZARU VEGETA: Now, Kakarot, to finish this!

GOKU: (thinking) Oh man, what would Yamcha do?

"Baaaad choice." Pyrrha stated.

(flashback to Yamcha exploding)

GOKU: (thinking) Um... um... What would Tien do?! (out loud) Wait, I know! (jumps in front of Ōzaru Vegeta)

"Better option, but should've gone with Piccolo." Pyrrha continued.

ŌZARU VEGETA: Prepare to die, Kakarot!

GOKU: Solar Flare! (blinds Ōzaru Vegeta and flies away)

ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAAH!!! My eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Frieza in the shower! Wait a minute, Frieza's always naked. AAAAAAGGGGHHH!!!

"Sounds like he's speaking from experience." the blonde leader said since he lives with seven sisters and he understands Vegeta's pain.

What, who's this 'Frieza' character Vegeta speaks of?" the crimsonette asked but no one heard her.

GOKU: Alright, that should buy me some time, now let's see. Planet, give me your energy-- everything you can spare!

ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) Kakarot, when I find you you're going to die! And not any sort of good death! You’re going to die horribly, terribly, I’m going to eat your... (continues to speak in the background)

GOKU: Oceans, forests, people of the planet, and all the animals that live alongside them! (starts glowing)

ŌZARU VEGETA: (in background) I’m going to hammer you... (continues to speak in the background)

GOKU: There, I think I have enough energy-- but, maybe a little more wouldn't hurt...

(scene cuts to a large buck groaning and then collapses)

BABY DEER: Daddy? Daddy?

The hole room went quiet to what they witnessed. Yang hugged Ruby who was nearly on the verge of tears, while Ren did the same with Nora.

(scene cuts back to wastelands)

GOKU: (thinking) Alright, that should do it! All finished.

ŌZARU VEGETA: (regaining his eyesight) Finally, I can see again. Kakarot, I am going to KILL you!

GOKU: Now, take this! Energy from the entire world! (Ōzaru Vegeta fires a mouth blast at Goku) Well, if that don't beat all... (gets hit with the blast, losing the energy for the Spirit Bomb) AAAAAAAAH! (gets knocked into a plateau and onto the ground)

ŌZARU VEGETA: Hey, Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?

GOKU: Huh?

ŌZARU VEGETA: Christopher Reeves! (crushes Goku's legs)

"I call dibs on that joke for future reference!" the blonde bombshell snapped at her friends.

GOKU: (in agony) AAAAAAAOOWWW! That was in terrible taaaaaaste!

ŌZARU VEGETA: Don't care; evil! Now, time to crush you like an Arlian.

GOKU: A... what?

"Yeah, a what?" Blake wondered too.

ŌZARU VEGETA: Exactly, now die!

(Ōzaru Vegeta prepares to squash Goku with his finger, but Goku retaliates by blasting Ōzaru Vegeta's eye)

ŌZARU VEGETA: AAAUGH!! Again with the f***ing eye! God... dammit!

GOKU: Hah! Now to make my cunning escape.

(shows Goku dodging Ōzaru Vegeta's attacks before jumping into the air... which it turns out to be an imagination in Goku's head)

GOKU: Ah, that would be awesome.

" Yeah... it would be..." Nora admired.

"YOU CAN FLY!" Weiss snapped loudly.

ŌZARU VEGETA: I've had enough of this. (grabs Goku) I'm going to crush the life out of you, you insolent little... (squeezes Goku)

GOKU: AAAAAAGGGH!

(scene shifts to Gohan and Krillin flying away)

GOHAN: Krillin, are you sure my dad's going to be okay all on his own?

KRILLIN: Oh, come on, Gohan, you saw how much stronger your dad's become. I'm sure he can take care of--

GOKU: (in distance) AAAAAAAAH!

KRILLIN: Ah, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

"What does that even mean?" Pyrrha questioned but fell on deaf ears.

(scene shifts back to Goku being crushed by Ōzaru Vegeta)

ŌZARU VEGETA: All right, Kakarot, let's hear those bones shatter! (crushes Goku harder, causing him to squeak) ,"What?" everyone asked, What the? (crushes Goku again, causing him to squeak again) My God, that's hilarious! ,"Agreed." Yang evily smirked, (begins to repeatedly crush Goku, who squeaks while doing so) Hahahah! Muhahaha!

"I think that's his lungs making that sound." Jaune said with concern. 

GOHAN: (arrives to help his father) Get your filthy hands off him, you damn dirty ape!

ŌZARU VEGETA: Oh, very creative. And what exactly will you do if I don't?

GOHAN: I'll make you regret it! Law of mass dictates that the mass of an object dramatically increases the force of impact when said object collides with the ground! And with your size, you'll make an extensively large impact upon your inevitable defeat!

(long pause)

GOKU & ŌZARU VEGETA: What?

"Yeah, what?" Ruby asked as well.

GOHAN: The bigger they are, the harder they fall! (gets into a battle pose accompanied with a bwong sound)

GOKU: What?

(Ōzaru Vegeta crushes him again, making him squeak)

Yang laughed hard at Goku's squeak.

GOKU: Argh! Stop that!

ŌZARU VEGETA: Listen, kid, you're real brave and all, but your dad's beaten and broken. And neither of you have the skill or energy...

KRILLIN: Kienzan! (fires a Destructo Disc at Ōzaru Vegeta's tail, who dodges the attack by jumping)

ŌZARU VEGETA: ...to take me on.

KRILLIN: (offscreen) Dammit!

"Maybe he shouldn't shout out attacks." Weiss states while everyone else laugh.

ŌZARU VEGETA: You're finished! All of your planet's greatest fighters—all of them—worthless in the presence of a Saiyan elite! None of you can stop me! None of you! (tail gets cut off by Yajirobe)

"Well... He didn't say anything about cowards stopping him." Blake smirked.

YAJIROBE: Runningrunningrunningrunningrunning! (runs away)

(Ōzaru Vegeta drops Goku)

GOKU: (squeaks as he slams the ground) Ow.

ŌZARU VEGETA: God... God dammiiiiii... (reverts back to his original form)

VEGETA: ...iiiiiit! (starts breathing heavily)

KRILLIN: He's back to normal! Gohan, we can do this! We can beat him! WE HAVE A CHAN-- (gets sent flying into a boulder)

(Krillin Owned Count: 9)

KRILLIN: (in pain) Oh God...

"I still feel sorry for Krillin." Ruby stated with her big sister asking "why?", "Because he's determined to fight even with the odds stacked against him."

VEGETA: (to Gohan, who's whimpering in fear) You know, I thought I'd be angrier, what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail, or maybe I'm just so unbelievably enraged that I have come full circle. (punches Gohan in the stomach and throws him next to Goku) Oh well. Either way, it's time to put an end to this.

GOKU: (telepathically) G-Gohan, is that you?

GOHAN: (telepathically) Hey, daddy... I'm... really sorry.

GOKU: (telepathically) It's okay, Gohan... You tried your best... At least you got home to your mother and told her to--

GOHAN: (telepathically) Um, actually, I never went home... I came back to save you...

GOKU: (telepathically) Oh...

GOHAN: (telepathically) D-Daddy?

GOKU: (telepathically) Everyone makes mistakes, Gohan... (reaches out to Gohan's hand) But we have to be strong now, okay?

GOHAN: (telepathically) Daddy... (reaches out to Goku's hand)

GOKU: (telepathically) Son... (gets kneed in the stomach by Vegeta)

"I was about to feel something there but he ruined it." Blake said with a disappointed face.

(eyecatch animation from DragonBall Z plays)

(Goku is seen spitting out blood as Gohan screams in horror)

VEGETA: What now, Kakarot? (stomps on Goku's stomach) You damaged me! (begins kicking Goku repeatedly) You cut off my tail! You've insulted me beyond belief. But you still haven't taken my pride! (gets kicked by Gohan) Ow, my pride!

(Gohan and Vegeta begin exchanging blows in midair)

GOHAN: I'll teach you to hurt my daddy!

VEGETA: What are you going to do, huh?! You barely have any energy left! (Gohan elbows Vegeta in the eye) UAGH! (thinking while holding his right eye) Gah! My eye! Why is it always the god damn eye?!

GOKU: K-Krillin, come here. I have something to give you. (Krillin limps over to Goku)

KRILLIN: Your last will and testament?

GOKU: No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope.

KRILLIN: And you're giving it to me?

"Its either you or Gohan, so you should feel lucky, Krillin." the four-time champion stated.

GOKU: I'm kinda out of options... (passes the remaining of the Spirit Bomb over to Krillin)

"Yeah, Gohan is kinda busy." the cat-earred Faunus reminded.

KRILLIN: Holy crap! So this is what being important feels like!

"Remember that moment Krillin, it's the only time you gonna feel it." Ruby said confidence.

(Vegeta is seen gaining the upper hand against Gohan, launching him onto the ground)

VEGETA: (while walking towards Gohan) Alright, Kakarot. Say goodbye to your son! (begins running towards Gohan)

KRILLIN: (thinking) Wow! Such power, from every living being on the planet. I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child. This is Planet Earth's very essence! (out loud) BOO-YAH, MOTHERF**KER!!! (throws Spirit Bomb at Vegeta)

"Booyah!" Nora shouted along with Krillin.

VEGETA: (stops running and notices the Spirit Bomb) Wh-what the hell is-?

KRILLIN: ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HELL!!! (Vegeta dodges the Spirit Bomb by jumping) Gyaaaah! God dammit! (continues pouting in background)

"Did he learn nothing from failing to hit with his Distructo Disk technique?!" Yang loudly questioned.

(Spirit Bomb is seen flying at Gohan)

GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan, listen, you have to bounce it back at Vegeta.

GOHAN: (telepathically) But, are you sure? I don't think energy works like that.

GOKU: (telepathically) Don't worry, Gohan, you can do it. You're a good guy.

GOHAN: (telepathically) Oh, okay, if you believe in me then I'll--

GOKU: (telepathically) Or it'll kill you.

GOHAN: (telepathically) What?! (puts his hands out, making a spring sound effect from Sonic the Hedgehog, bouncing the Spirit Bomb back at Vegeta)

VEGETA: There's nothing left now-- your last hope and you missed. You're all defeated and there isn't a damn thing you can-- (thinking) What smells like deer? (notices the Spirit Bomb but gets hit at point-blank) WAAAAAH!!! (gets blasted into the sky with the Spirit Bomb) CURSE MY HUBRIS!!!

KRILLIN: (jumps into the sky) Yahoo! (rushes towards Goku) Goku, we did it! We won! We beat him with the Spirit Bomb!

GOKU: (telepathically) Way to go, you guys. (Gohan starts laughing)

KRILLIN: All right, Goku. Let's get you and Gohan home. It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again. (Vegeta lands next to Goku and Krillin) Alive again. We'll never have to see him alive again, that's what I meant. (approaches Vegeta's motionless body) But at least it's finally over.

"He's jinxed it twice now." Yang whispered.

YAJIROBE: You gonna eat that Saiyan?

KRILLIN: Wha--

YAJIROBE: Dibs!

KRILLIN: Rrright. Anyway, it seems the Spirit Bomb's done the trick. And with that, we can all go home and live in peace and--

VEGETA: (wakes up) HUAAAAAAAH!!

KRILLIN: WAAAAAAHH!!

GOHAN: AAAAAAAHH!!

YAJIROBE: UAAAAAHHH!!

KRILLIN: WAAAAAHH!!

VEGETA: AAAAAAH!!

GOHAN: AAAAAAAH!!

YAJIROBE: UAAAAHHH!!

(everyone continues yelling in the background)

GOKU: What's going on, guys? We won, right?

Everyone else in the room lose their composure and laughed.

Part 3

(scene opens up with Vegeta recovering from the Spirit Bomb)

VEGETA: You know, at a time like this I really only have one thing to say to you... BITCH SLAP!!!

KRILLIN: OH SNAP!!!

(Vegeta slaps Krillin, knocking him down and whining in pain)

(Krillin Owned Count: 10)

VEGETA: (walks up to the remaining Z-Fighters) And as for the rest of you... I’m going to end this, with a Big Bang... kind of attack.

"Hmm... might want to remember that for later use." Weiss wanting to remind herself for any future episode.

(Vegeta begins gathering up energy)

GOKU: Oh, this isn’t going to end well... (closes his eyes)

(Vegeta screams and unleashes an explosive attack, causing Krillin, Goku and Gohan, who gets knocked away, to scream)

VEGETA: (breathes heavily and notices that everyone's still alive) Oh, you have got to be kidding me! They’re still alive?! Oh to hell with it... (begins floating and lands next to Gohan, with an arrow pointing to his tail)

"Wait a damn minutes," Weiss gestured as Ruby paused the episode, "if Gohan regrew his tail, somehow, and Vegeta's moon ball... thing is still in use, then Gohan should be able to take out Vegeta with it."

"What makes you say that?" Jaune unsure on what the heiress is getting at.

"What I mean is that Gohan can transform and smash Vegeta up. Simple really." the white-haired teammate simplifies. When she finished the scythe-wielder presses play.

VEGETA: (thinking) I may not have enough energy to kill you all at once, (begins walking towards Gohan) but I can still kill all of you without any troub--

(Yajirobe comes out of nowhere and slashes Vegeta's armor with his katana)

VEGETA: You... You cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!

"That's some old armour." Jaune comments.

"Coming from the one who's sword is ancient." Yang replied.

YAJIROBE: I’m sorry, I’m sure your father was a great man!

VEGETA: I hated my father!

"Then, why are you wearing it then?" Blake gestured.

YAJIROBE: Well then, I’m sure your father was a total prick.

VEGETA: (punches Yajirobe in the face) How dare you talk about my father like that!

"Make up your mind!" Nora groaned.

(Yajirobe gets sent flying into a pile of rocks)

VEGETA: (while beating up Yajirobe) Finally, I can just sit back and enjoy myself. No cares in the world! (Gohan is seen staring at Vegeta's artificial moon) I can beat these worthless cretins all day long and I-- (stops attacking Yajirobe) I think I’m forgetting something...

(Gohan begins his transformation into an Ōzaru)

VEGETA: Oh dammit, the kid-- that’s right! (in his thoughts) Oh wait, I’ll just become the mighty Ōzaru and... Wait, I don’t have my tail! (out loud to Yajirobe) This fat bastard cut it off!!

YAJIROBE: Haha-- (gets hit) Ungh!

VEGETA: (begins attacking Gohan to stop his transformation) No, no, stop it! Stop it, damn you! Why?! Why won't you people just diiie?! (Gohan fully transforms into an Ōzaru)

"Stubbornness?" the blonde bombshell guessed off the top of her head.

"You sure know a lot about that." Blake remarked only to be silenced by a red eyed death glare.

KRILLIN: (noticing Gohan as an Ōzaru) Yay! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna save us all!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars and smashes rocks)

KRILLIN: (covering his head) Oh no! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna kill us all!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars and grabs a huge rock)

GOKU: (telepathically) Gohan? This is Daddy... I know you’re angry right now, but you have to focus your anger. Re-Remember Icarus?

"Who's 'Icarus'?" Everyone question, but then awed at a baby Dragon only to witness it being blown up.

(shows a flashback of Icarus getting blasted. Ōzaru Gohan is angry)

GOKU: (to Vegeta) He did it!

(Ōzaru Gohan roars in anger)

VEGETA: Oh, that's bulls***! (dodges Ōzaru Gohan's attack) I haven't killed a damn thing since I got to this godforsaken planet! (Looks at camera) Not for a lack of trying, mind you.

"What about Nappa, you killed him, didn't you?" Nora being inquisitive.

(Ōzaru Gohan continues to attack Vegeta)

VEGETA: (to Yajirobe) Hey fatass, wanna take off this one’s tail too?

(cuts to Yajirobe groaning in pain)

VEGETA: FINE! I’ll DO IT MYSELF, THEN! (fires a Destructo Disk at Gohan's tail, cutting it off) Haha! I did it! I’m the best, around! (Ōzaru Gohan begins shrinking in front of Vegeta) No one's ever going to keep me down... (notices Ōzaru Gohan falling right above him) No... (Ōzaru Gohan falls on top of him) NOOOOO!!!

"Yes... YEEESSSSS!" Yang shouted as Vegeta said 'no'.

(Vegeta gets crushes by Ōzaru Gohan, cuts to Vegeta badly injured with Gohan, naked and unconscious, lying on top of him)

VEGETA: (thinking) Crushed and broken beneath an unconscious naked child... (takes out a small remote control device to call his space pod) Yep, I think I’m done here...

(cuts to the ruins of East City where a number of radiation-suited investigators are gathered around Vegeta and Nappa's space pods)

KIRK: So Mr. Spock, what do you make, of this... ship?

SPOCK: Well sir, I would have to find it highly illogical to refer to this as a "ship"; the spherical design incorporates no propulsion system. It looks more like an orbiting vessel, or a satell-- (Vegeta's space pod becomes active and flies away)Aaah!

KIRK: Suck it, Spock!

(cuts back to the battlefield with Vegeta's space pod landing in front of him)

VEGETA: (thinking while flipping himself over) Alright, I’m just gonna get in my ship... (starts crawling to his pod) I’m gonna fly back to Frieza Station... And I’m gonna sleep this off like a baaad hangover...

"So they do have alcohol." Yang whispered to herself owning the Remnant isn't the only planet to have stiff drinks.

KRILLIN: (appears next to Vegeta holding Yajirobe's katana) You’re not going anywhere! You think you can kill all of our friends and threaten our lives and just leave??

VEGETA: Would you be surprised if I said "yes"?

"No." Weiss and Blake said together.

KRILLIN: I’m going to end this, and YOU, RIGHT NOW! NOW DIE!!!

(Krillin prepares to kill Vegeta with Yajirobe's katana, but stops short)

GOKU: Krillin, wait! Vegeta, are you sorry?

"WHY DID HE STOP HIM?" Yang shouted as her eyes turned red, "he could of ended it right there and then."

VEGETA: Wh-What?

GOKU: If you say you’re sorry Vegeta, then you can leave.

VEGETA: You can’t be serious...

"I have to agree with him on this one." Jaune state.

KRILLIN: What are you talking about Goku? He killed all of our friends!

"Actually, that was Nappa, and Vegeta killed him." Pyrrha corrected.

GOKU: But Krillin, if he’s sorry—truly sorry—then there’s nothing we can do.

"You're a horrible hero." Weiss bluntly said without a care.

VEGETA: I’m sorry. Yep, totally sorry. I just feel terrible.

GOKU: Let him go, Krillin.

KRILLIN: But-But Goku...

VEGETA: (now inside his space pod) Yes, I am very, very, very sorry... (space pod closes) That you’re all still alive! (blasts off into space) SUCKERS! (starts laughing from inside his pod) Ah, it hurts to laugh!

"DAMN IT GOKU!!!" Everyone yelled out.

NARRATOR: And so our heroes looked towards the sky, their battle finally over and victory on their side. Many lives were lost, many lessons were learned, and I made out with a cool one hundred thou!

(cuts to King Kai's planet)

KING KAI: You cheating son of a--

NARRATOR: Can’t hear you, don’t care! Now where was I... (cuts back to Earth) how will our heroes bring back their fallen compatriots? What new dangers will present themselves? Has anyone really not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of DragonBall Z Abridged!

(scene cuts to Vegeta's space pod flying through outer space)

"Oh not done yet, my guess is it teases the next season." Ruby wondered with excitement.

VEGETA: (thinking) They’ve broken my body... I failed in my mission to find the Dragon Balls... I even lost my tail... but at least... it can’t get any worse from here...

"He shouldn't have said that~." Yang sang to herself.

"Why is that?" Ren wondered to what she means .

???: Vegeta... Vegeeeeetaaaaa...

VEGETA: Wh-What?

NAPPA: (appears as a ghost) I'm haunting you.

"And then things got worse, for him." Yang smirked.

(Vegeta's space pod is seen flying off into the distance)

VEGETA: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(credits roll with Ghost Nappa's theme song, a parody of the Ghostbusters theme song, playing in the background)

♪Vegegeta-geta gegegegegeta♪

♪Vegegeta-geta GHOST NAPPA! Yeeeah!♪

"Yeah, I'm digging this song." Nora cheered.

♪If there’s something strange, in your neighborhood.♪

♪Guess who it is? GHOST NAPPA!♪

♪Is it something weird? And it don’t look good.♪

♪Guess who it is? GHOST NAPPA!♪

Nora quickly pulled out her Scroll and searched for the song and downloaded it.

♪Yo, Vegeta-geta-geta-geta-getageta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-you know you love me as a ghost-geta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-geta-getageta♪

♪Geta-geta-geta-geta-WHOOOOO!♪

"Well, that was a thing." Yang quoted to break any silence anyone had.

"It was certainly something." Pyrrha backchatted.

"Oh right, so about the bets." Ruby reminding everyone since part 1, "how are we going to spilt up the winnings."

"Well, I betted on Goku finishing Vegeta with the Kaio-Ken, Jaune stated on Vegeta living after the fight, and Yang, Pyrrha, Weiss, Ren and Nora wanted Goku to win, sooo..." Blake working out how to separate 20 Lien between 6 people, so she give the 3 Lien each as payment.

"Alright sis," Yang said, " when's the next season?" wanting to know because she really enjoyed the series so far just like everyone else, even if one or two off them won't admit to it.

"Well~, there's seems to be a special episode title 'Bardock: Father of Goku', four non-canon movies, and Kai video? And that's before the next season can be watched." the crimsonette explained when looking through the Dragon Ball Z Abridged playlist.

"Ohhh no, first we need to rest It's already 7:35 and you promised to train for the tournament that's coming up soon." the heiress reminded her leader, teammates and friends.

"Alright fine, but when everyone's free, we'll watch the next video, OK?" the scythe-wielder asked and everyone agreed as Team JNPR left for their dorm while Team RWBY ready themselves to bed.

Chapter Text

Days passed since the end of Dragon Ball Z Abridged season 1 as Team's RWBY and JNPR were sparing in Beacon Academy's combat arena with Professor Glynda Goodwitch monitoring the 4v4 practice fight in the corner while several students watched the fight between Beacon's two best first-year teams.

Class' were cancelled due to the Vytal Festival just coming up in a few weeks and everyone was excited, especially Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long and Nora Valkyrie, to fight against other hunter-trainees in the tournament. The sparing fight ended in a draw with Pyrrha Nikos and Weiss Schnee being the last ones standing with both Aura levels entering the red zone. The day ended while both teams asked one another to continue watching the abridge series, and they all agreed.

The hunters entered RWBY's dorm with Ruby setting the holo-T.V. and connected her Scroll with the 'Special Episode' visible on the screen.

"Alright, is everyone ready?" The crimsonette questioned to her sister, friends, and Weiss, and they answered with some form of a 'yes' and the scythe-wielder pressed play.

(shows an outside shot of Planet Vegeta with the sound of an infant crying being heard)

NARRATOR: Long ago, on a planet long forgotten by time...a young hero was born. A righteous Saiyan warrior who would bring peace to the galaxy. This...is not his story. This is the story of another Saiyan warrior, who slaughtered millions of innocents and brought terror to those who heard his name. And that name is...

("Bardock: Father of Goku Abridged" appears on the screen)

(Cut to Bardock and his crew in their Ōzaru forms causing a rampage on Planet Kanassa with "Dare" by Stan Bush playing in the background. By morning, all of the Kanassans have been exterminated and shows everyone but Bardock laughing.)

"Well, that's some introduction." Blake sarcastically stated.

"I like song, though I don't think it suits the intro all that well." Nora said with a little excitement in her tone just for watch this series again.

PUMBUKIN: And then I tell the guy, "Don't be angry, I'm just Saiyan!" (everyone but Bardock start laughing)And then I tore out his throat.

(silence)

"Dark." Yang's voice said with everyone else being silent.

TOMA: Hey, Bardock, heard you had another kid. Congrats. Who's the mom?

PUMBUKIN: I bet it's Selypa. I see the way you two look at each other.

BARDOCK: Nah, it'd never work out between us.

TOMA: Why not?

BARDOCK: Are you kidding? She's a raging dyke.

"Well, ain't he quite the charmer?" Pyrrha rhetorically questioned.

SELYPA: I'm right here, you asshole!

BARDOCK: And?

SELYPA: God, this is why I hate men.

Weiss and Blake agreed at the statement based off their interactions with Sun and Neptune.

BARDOCK: Point proven.

PUMBUKIN: So, uh, why did we attack this rock in the first place?

BARDOCK: I dunno. The mission briefing said this planet was full of psychics.

"So they don't question why they attack planet after planet and act like blind loyal soldiers?" Jaune wondered with concern.

"Whoever is leading them must be a psychopathic tyrant." Yang stated, unaware of how very descriptive her assessment on the villain truly is.

TOMA: Wait a second. Doesn't that mean they can see the future? Don't you think they should have seen us coming?

BARDOCK: Just because they're psychic doesn't mean they're smart.

TOMA: But, aren't psychics supposed to have unbelievable mental--

(a surviving Kanassan warrior emerges from the rubble)

KANASSAN: I can see the future!

Nora bursts out laugh at the quote and will remember it forever.

PUMBUKIN: Hey, look! One survived.

KANASSAN: Oh, no! They can see me! I have to stop you from destroying my race...in the future!

BARDOCK: We already did that.

KANASSAN: I knew you'd do that! Now I have to kill you! (rushes at Bardock and hits him in the back of the neck) Now you too can see the future! (gets blasted by Toma) WAHHH! (is now seen on fire) I'm on fire! AHHH! (gets blown up by Bardock)

"I wonder what burning aliens smells like?" JNPR's leader questioned.

"Don't. After all, you wanna keep lunch IN your stomach." The heiress said while slightly gagging on her words.

TOMA: Well, that was...odd.

PUMBUKIN: Hey, Bardock. What do you think he meant about you seeing the future? Bardock? (Bardock collapses on the ground) Bardock? Bardock? Say nothing if you want me to eat the remains of that alien. (is heard making munching noises as the screen goes black)

"There's no accounting for taste with some people..." the cat Faunus said with disgust.

(cut to Freeza)

ZARBON: Lord Freeza, the reports are saying that Kanassa has been seized.

"Wait, so that's Freeza!?" Everyone shouted out as they were expecting something different in their minds.

FREEZA: (sounding like an old hag) Thank you, Zarbon. That's very good to hea-- (starts coughing and then speaks in his normal voice) Ah, sorry about that. I had something in my throat. Continue, Zarbon.

ZARBON: The reports say that it was overtaken by a group of low-level Saiyans led by Bardock.

DODORIA: Yeah, that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.

ZARBON: He conquers planets and doesn't afraid of anything.

FREEZA: Hmm... Doesn't afraid of anything, indeed...

(cut to Bardock inside a healing tank)

BARDOCK: (thinking) What...? What's going on? (sees Planet Vegeta exploding) Is...that my planet? (sees his son as an infant and then as a kid) Wait, who is...? Is that my son? Where is he? Hold on... Is he befriending that alien race? Oh, I get it. He must be earning their trust before he slaughters them all. (screen goes black) Wait...now everything's gone dark. Is...is it over? Am I...? (Mr. Popo's face appears on the screen)

MR. POPO: Hi.

(Bardock lets out a muffled scream as the water in the healing tank drains down)

Even the hunters slightly screamed at Mr. Popo's intervention.

SCIENTIST: Bardock, are you all right? Your heart rate skyrocketed.

BARDOCK: *gasps* I'm okay! I'm okay. It's just...eyes. Where am I, anyway?

SCIENTIST: Well, you're on Freeza Planet 692.

BARDOCK: Man, you'd think with all his free time he'd come up with better names for his planets.

(cut to Freeza inside his ship)

ZARBON: So Lord Freeza. Now that we have Kanassa under our command, what shall we--

FREEZA: 419!

ZARBON: Right, right...

(cut back to Bardock)

BARDOCK: Anyway, where's my team? Are they already on a new mission?

SCIENTIST: Yes, well, it seems that Freeza passed down a new mission just two hours ago. By the way, while your here, would you like to see your son, Kakarrot?

BARDOCK: Kaka-wha? Oh right, his name. Nah. Think I'll pass. Didn't pay attention to Raditz when he was growing up.

SCIENTIST: Oh, yes, and we both know how he turned out...

Everyone slightly chuckled the Scientist's sass at Bardock.

(Bardock pauses for a brief moment and then cuts to him standing in front of a nursery with Kakarrot crying inside.)

BARDOCK: Hey there, Kakarrot. It's your daddy! (thinking) Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... (scouter starts beeping) All right... Whoa...! 10,000! That's my boy! (sees name plaque) Wait...Broly? (shifts over to Kakarrot's plaque) Ah, here we go. (scans Kakarrot with his scouter) Kakarro-- (starts groaning in dismay) Two? Crap! (out loud) There is no possible way this day could get any more disappointing... (runs off)

"And he just jinxed himself." The blonde brawler said with sarcasm in her voice.

(cut to another planet with Toteppo getting killed)

TOMA: Bardock's going to be so disappointed.

DODORIA: I think Bardock is the least of your concerns.

TOMA: Why? I don't understand. We've served Freeza loyally. (Dodoria picks him up)

DODORIA: Seems Freeza wants you dirty Saiyans out of the picture... And I'm just willing enough to oblige him.

TOMA: Don't you get it? Chances are someday he's just going to kill you, too.

DODORIA: Yeah, well, see... I'm more of a "in-the-now" kinda guy. Like, what am I gonna eat now? What am I gonna kill now? And in this regard, you're probably gonna be both.

TOMA: You... You won't get away with this.

DODORIA: Oh, yeah? Well tell me something... What looks like crap, feels like crap, and probably ain't gonna wake up in the morning?

TOMA: Is... Is it me?

DODORIA: And that's the punchline.

"Well that was darker then that terrible joke after the intro." The Mistral champion stated with wide eyes while everyone silently agreed with her.

(Dodoria throws Toma in the air and punches him in the jaw before cutting to Bardock arriving at the planet)

BARDOCK: (sees multiple corpses of the planet's inhabitants) Whoa, looks like I'm late to the party. Where's the gang-- (sees the corpses of his crew) Oh... Oh. Oh, God! Guys... Tell me you're just resting in the blood of your enemies! Selypa... Totepo... Pumbukin? Toma?

TOMA: (weakly and coughs a few times) P-present...

BARDOCK: Toma! Oh, thank God Toma, you're okay. I'll be honest, you're the only one I really cared about. Everyone else was kinda bland. 'Cept for Selypa, she was the only one here with a decent pair of t--

TOMA: Bardock...listen. Freeza's...turned on us. He's afraid of the Saiyans. He sent someone to...to take us out.

BARDOCK: (terrified) Oh, God! He sent the Ginyu Force?

They questioned who in their minds.

TOMA: No...

BARDOCK: (less terrified) Zarbon?

"I going to assume that's the green-skinned alien with that Freeza guy." Nora asked with some confusion as Ren confirmed her assumption.

TOMA: No...

BARDOCK: (disappointed) Dodoria?

TOMA: Sorry...

BARDOCK: Listen, it won't end like this! We're not too far from a healing planet. We're gonna get you fixed up. We'll get you better, we'll warn everyone else, and then we'll-- (Toma closes his eyes and dies) (thinking)My best friend just died in my arms, didn't he? Yep... Yeeep... (removes Toma's handkerchief and cleans the blood off his fallen comrade's face) All right, Plan B. Don't worry, my friends. You shall all be avenged! (clutches Toma's handkerchief, which starts turning red with blood) If Freeza's afraid of us, I'm gonna give him something to be afraid of. (starts tying the bloody handkerchief on his forehead) Then I'll know why I'm still alive... And I'm gonna rain hot vengeance down upon every single one of those sons of bi--

"Language!" WBY shouted out loud while Yang was covering her baby sisters ears.

(Eachpe fires a bunch of ki blasts at Bardock)

EACHPE: All right guys, let's hit the show-- (scouter beeps as Bardock appears above him) Tell my brother, Appule, I love him! (Bardock hits him hard on the skull) Aaah... (starts falling to the ground)

MANGO: Eachpe, no! (he and his comrades fire a ki blast at Bardock, who vanishes before all three blasts connects) Where the hell is he?

LEMI: Keep sharp! These Saiyans can pull off all kinds of tricks! You have to be very careful--

MANGO: Got him! (fires a ki blast through the smoke, accidentally shooting down his teammate) Pierre, no! You dirty monkey!

LEMI: You're the one who killed him, you ass!

MANGO: Oh, gee Lemi, I never thought of it like tha-- Shut the f**k up! (both of them start charging at Bardock)

Half of the room was chuckling at the Freeza Forces banter.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Man, I can't believe they lost to these guys! What a bunch of-- (starts having another vision) Oh, sweet crap, not again!

KAKARROT (GOKU): (through vision) Kaio-ken!

BARDOCK: Kaio-wha-- (gets kneed in the face) Ugh!

"The 'Kaio-what' joke, that's going to be here for awhile." Nora chuckled.

(Lemi grabs Bardock from behind as Mango proceeds to punch him in the stomach. Bardock starts having another vision.)

BARDOCK: (through vision) For years, you've kept us under your foot...

BARDOCK: (thinking as he's getting pummeled in reality) What? Is that me? That's it!

MANGO: NOW, DIE!

(Bardock manages to flip over, causing Lemi to get in the way of the attack)

LEMI: What the f-- (gets punched in the back by Mango, coughing up blood) Guah! (Badrock breaks free and fires a ki blast) Goddamn it, Mango, you team-killing f**ktard! (both he and Mango scream as they get disintegrated by the blast)

"Huh, why does that quote sound oddly familiar." Ruby thought as she suddenly remembered it came from a series named "Red vs Blue" if she was correct. But her thoughts were cut short as the episode continues.

BARDOCK: (thinking) I understand what I have to do now. I'm going to raise an army. We're going to rebel against Freeza. And nothing is going to stop me. (scouter starts beeping) What the--? (turns to see Dodoria charging up a mouth-beam) (out loud) USELESS-ASS PSYCHIC POWERS! (screams as he gets engulfed by the blast)

They laughed at Bardock's chant.

DODORIA: (singing "Another One Bites the Dust" by Queen)
♪Do-do-do, another one bites the dust♪
♪Dodo-do-do-do, another one bites the dust♪
♪And another one gone, and another one gone♪ (flies off)
♪Another one bites the dust♪
♪Hey, I'm gonna get you too♪
♪Another one bites the dust...♪

The hunters calmed their laughter down when Dodoria left.

BARDOCK: (muffled while under his teammates' bodies) Oh, God! It's true! You really do soil yourself when you die! Ah, it's everywhere! It's in my Dodoria wounds! (frees himself from under the pile and starts coughing) Oh, well, uh, later guys. Off to raise that army. Vengeance... Yada, yada...

(cut to Kakarrot inside a space pod)

OPERATOR 1: All right, little guy. Time to send you to planet "Ee-arth."

OPERATOR 2: I think it's pronounced "Earth."

OPERATOR 1: That sounds stupid.

OPERATOR 2: You're stupid!

"I don't understand how it sounds stupid." The Valkyrie said.

"Don't worry Nora, you're not the only one." Her partner reassured.

(cut to Freeza's ship)

FREEZA: So... how did the mission go?

DODORIA: Complete Annihilation.

ZARBON: Where are your men?

DODORIA: Complete Annihilation.

FREEZA: So, you're absolutely sure you killed every single living thing on that planet?

DODORIA: Complete...Annihilation.

(Bardock's space pod is seen flying by Freeza's ship)

"His face says it all." Yang giggled to herself at Dodoria's reaction.

ZARBON: So, "Complete Annihilation," huh?

DODORIA: (stammers a few times before speaking) I'm sorry, Lord Freeza. I'll go take care of it right away.

FREEZA: Oh, forget about it. He's already on a direct course for Planet S.O.L.

ZARBON: Planet what?

FREEZA: (groans) Planet...

(cut to Bardock)

"Hahahahaha, S.O.L. almost stands for 'Shit Outta Luck'." The brawler continues to laugh and everyone ensues.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Vegeta! I've gotta warn King Vegeta.

(cut to a bar with many Saiyans socializing as George Thorgood's "Bad to the Bone" plays in a radio)

"Was that Raditz in the background?" Blake observed.

"I don't think so, probably someone that has the same hair style as him." Weiss stated.

BARDOCK: (enters inside from a door) You guys! Freeza's going to... (hit a table) Augh! (falls to the ground)Who put that table there?

SAIYAN 1: Dude, Bardock, are you wasted?

BARDOCK: Nooo. But my crew is...

SAIYAN 2: You smell like poo!

"Gross!" Ruby gagged.

BARDOCK: Listen to me! We don't have much time. Freeza's on his way here and he plans to kill us all! We have to raise an army and--

SAIYAN 3: You're mom's an army! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing)

BARDOCK: What are you, stupid?! Do you--

SAIYAN 4: You face is stupid! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing again)

BARDOCK: Augh! Do you idiots even get it? Freeza's about to commit genocide on our entire race!

(short pause)

SAIYAN 5: Cool story, bro! (Saiyan crowd starts laughing once more)

"So childish," the white-haired teammate said, "Ruby is more disciplined then those rapcalliens."

BARDOCK: You know what? F**k it! I'm done! I hope you all die and go to hell! (runs off)

SAIYAN 6: Wow, that guy's a douche.

"Speak for yourself." Jaune backfired.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Screw them! I don't need an army. I took on those elites, I can take on this tyrant! Freeza must be stopped...no matter the cost!

("You Got The Touch" by Stan Bush starts playing as Bardock flies off towards Freeza's ship)

ZARBON: Lord Freeza, Bardock is approaching from the planet--

FREEZA: Waves of Freeza-soldiers...

(multiple Freeza soldiers start flying down from the ship)

DODORIA: It's raining men!

ZARBON: Hallelujah!

BARDOCK: FREEZA!

(soldiers simultaneously fire a ki blast at Bardock)

SOLDIER 1: Yeah, take that-- (Bardock rushes forward and elbows him in the face)

BARDOCK: FREEZA!

(Bardock flies through the multiple soldiers, killing a few of them in the process)

BARDOCK: FREEZA! (gets dogpiled by multiple soldiers) FREEZA!

SOLDIER 2: Ah, yo, Bardock, I'm really happy for you and I'ma let you finish, but--

(Bardock launches a blast to free himself and continues flying forward, ramming through multiple soldiers. It then shows the onslaught through a monitor at Freeza's ship.)

ZARBON: Sir, I think he wishes to have words.

FREEZA: Oh, whatever gave you that impression?

ZARBON: Well, he does keep on shouting your name.

BARDOCK: (over the speaker) FREEZA!

FREEZA: Just get my freaking bubble car.

"His what-now?" Weiss questioned.

ZARBON: Too bad. That Bardock was such a dashing rogue...

DODORIA: What?

"What?" Pyrrha asked.

(Freeza emerges from inside his ship on his bubble car, which makes a Jetsons mobile sound effect)

BARDOCK: There you are, Freeza! I've been looking for you.

FREEZA: Well, I'm not exactly hard to find!

BARDOCK: We've had enough of this! We're done working for you, Freeza!

SOLDIER 3: (off-screen) Uh, just so you know, that man does not speak for us!

BARDOCK: We're here to kill you, and take our planet for our own!

SOLDIER 3: (off-screen) Seriously, we're not with him!

BARDOCK: For years, you've kept us under your foot... (continues speaking inaudibly under Freeza's thoughts)

FREEZA: (thinking) Oh, lord, these heroic types with their speeches. "Blah, blah, blah, injustices. Blah, blah, blah, tyranny. Blah, blah, blah, Freeza, stop killing me!" God, does he have any idea how hard it is to run an empire? I've got other things to do today, you know... Like decide what wine will I have for dinner tonight. White wine, red wine, or dare I say...rosé? Oh, perhaps I should give Cooler a call; his birthday's coming up. Nah, he's a prick. Wait a second, where was I? Oh right, mass genocide. (starts charging a Supernova)

Everyone was laughing at Freeza's thoughts and thinking that mass genocide this just the norm for him.

BARDOCK: ...end your miserable life, once and for all! (starts charging up a ki blast) Now... Take this, Freeza! The power of the Saiyan race! (hurls his blast at Freeza) Hyah!

(Bardock's blast is seen flying towards Freeza and his growing Supernova and gets swallowed by the tyrant's blast. Freeza starts laughing madly and fires his now massive Supernova directly at Planet Vegeta.)

"And that's how Freeza FINGERED almost the entire Saiyan Race." Yang joked with her puns but no one laughed.

BARDOCK: (thinking) Well, I'd say I should have seen this coming, but that would be ironic...

(Bardock gets engulfed by Freeza's Supernova, with many pieces of his armor falling off)

BARDOCK: (thinking) I see it... My son. He... He's facing Freeza! He's gonna do it! He's going to avenge our people! But, wait... Wait, there's more... He fights...a giant green bug...man. And then a...giant...pink...man-child. Oh, no. It's dark again! Where...? What is...?

PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara...

PARAPARA BROS.: Bonpappa!

PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara!

PARAPARA BROTHER 2: I'm gonna lay this one down thick like whole milk!

PARAPARA BROTHER 3: Raise the cane, ra-ra, ra-ra-raise!

PARAPARA BROTHER 1: Bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara, bonparapara!

"What the hell?" Everyone asked all at once at what they just witnessed.

BARDOCK: (thinking) And I now welcome the sweet embrace of death... (Supernova falls and collides with Planet Vegeta)

(cut to Cooler in his spaceship)

SAUZA: Monsieur Cooler! It seems that your brother is destroying ze Planet Vegeta!

COOLER: Very impressive, killing off a bunch of monkeys. Any liquored-up hillbilly with a shotgun could have done that at the zoo...

SAUZA: Wait, sir! It seems he has missed one ship. We are within range to intercept--

COOLER: No, let it go.

SAUZA: But, why?

COOLER: Because, I'm a prick.

(cut to Planet Vegeta getting destroyed)

NARRATOR: And so, Planet Vegeta was destroyed, along with all its inhabitants. Save a lone Saiyan child...and his brother...and a space pirate...and a renegade monster and his father...and, of course, Prince...

(cut to kid Vegeta and Nappa)

NAPPA: Vegeta!

Nora cheered in happiness to see Nappa again. And then realised, "Holy crap, Nappa wasn't always bald. He looks even more awesome."

VEGETA: What is it, Nappa?

NAPPA: Well, I've got good news...and bad news. The bad news is...reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by a gigantic meteorite along with all its inhabitants.

VEGETA: Aah... But, what about--

NAPPA: Aaand your father.

VEGETA: My whole family...! My race!

NAPPA: But the good news is, we're going to Dairy Queen!

Nora laughed at Nappa's 'good-news'.

VEGETA: My entire race is go--

NAPPA: DAIRY QUEEN!

The hammer-wielder laughed harder.

VEGETA: Just take me to the damn queen, Nappa.

NAPPA: Yaaaay! This seems the beginning of a beauuuutiful friendship...

"How about of an annoying nightmare." Blake bluntly stated.

(cut to planet Earth with Kakarrot being heard crying...again)

GRANDPA GOHAN: Oh look, someone threw out a perfectly good baby. Aren't you just adorable? I think I'm gonna call you...Clark. Heeeey, Claaarrrk. (thinking) Nah, that sounds stupid. (speaking again) Oh! How about...Goku? (Goku starts laughing) Yes, Goku! You like that, huh? Yes, you do! Whee! Wheee! Wheeeee! Whoops! (Goku is seen landing hard on his head) Uh, oh.

"And that's why Goku became an idiot hero." Yang jokenly said while Ruby giggled a little.

(credits roll)

There was brief silence as they didn't know what to think about this episode. Weiss, Blake, Ren, Jaune and Pyrrha had mixed feelings for the episode but mildly enjoyed it non-the-less, while Ruby, Yang and Nora enjoyed it a lot more because of its action and the characters interactions.

"So, who's ready for the first movie?" The scyther-wielder questioned her teammates as they said 'yes' and Ruby pressed the next video to play.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Piccolo in a rocky area)

PICCOLO: RAAAAAGH! (blows up giant rock formations with his scream) (thinking) Perfect. Now I have a place to put my castle once I rule the world. "In the middle of a wasteland...?" Weiss questions, And it'll have all the things a castle requires. "Then again, it IS fiting for him." Blake resured, Like walls...and subjects. (out loud)Maybe even a tribu-- Huh? (notices a shadowy figure heading towards him) (thinking) Wait, are they running on air? "They're Oum" Ruby sreamed, (looks behind and sees another shadowy figure behind him) That's ridiculous, they're flying! Why would they ever even need to-- (a third shadowy figure uppercuts him from below) OH, GOD!

NIKKI: F**k him up! (the three shadowy figures attack Piccolo) From the front!

SANSHO: To the back!

PICCOLO: Oh, you better just KILL me! (sees four shadowy figure preparing to attack) ...Shit.

"Be careful what you wish for~" Nora sang to herself.

(The three shadowy figures simultaneously fires a blast at Piccolo, who screams as all three blasts connect. Cut to Kami inside his Lookout.)

KAMI: OH!

MR. POPO: (from outside) You okay in there, Kami?

KAMI: Mr. Popo, I believe...that Piccolo may have been slain!

"Then how are you still..." Weiss was about to question again but was silensed by Yang.

MR. POPO: (from outside) I think you'd know if he were! ...You still there?

"Yeah, that..." the heiress corrected herself, thanking her blonde teammate in her head. 

KAMI: Yes.

MR. POPO: (from outside) Then he ain't dead, is he, Drama Queen?

KAMI: But you don't understand!

MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queen!

Some of the hunters were starting to giggle under the breathes.

KAMI: I think Garlic Junior may have--

MR. POPO: (from outside) Drama Queeeeeeeeeen... (is heard walking away)

When they lightly laughed at the genie's sense of humour.

KAMI: Mmm... Garlic Jr.'s back.

"What about his back?" Yang joked on as she, along with everyone else, was recovering from Mr. Popo's moment

("DragonBall Z Abridged" logo first appears on the screen and then disappears to show the text "Dead Zone")

(cut to Gohan in the forest)

GOHAN: (reading "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn") "Miss Watson, she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome. By and by, they fetched the nig--" "Wow!" everyone shouted in unison while Yang covered Ruby's ears, Huh, that's not a word I've ever heard before. "Your mother would not approve." Blake snapped, Oh, well. "They fetched the nig--"

"NOPENOPENOPE." the bombshell blonde chanted to herself while continuing to cover her sister's ears.

CHI-CHI: (from inside the house) Gohan, lunch is ready! Come help me set the table!

"Thank Oum!" Jaune gasped in reliefe.

"Saved by the Chi-Chi." Pyrrha thanked to herself.

GOHAN: Oh, yay! And Dad's gone fishing! Which means I'll get seconds!

(Gohan closes his book and then cuts to Goku underwater who seems to hear this and immediately jumps out of the water, naked and holding the tail fin of a fish. Cut back to Gohan walking toward his house.)

"Imagine if he'd been that fast when the Saiyans showed up." the crimsonette joked to her friends as they imagined Goku running at that speed without any cared.

GOHAN: Huh?

OX-KING: Hey! Gohan!

GOHAN: Grandpa Ox!

CHI-CHI: (walks out the front door) Oh, Daddy! What are you doing here?

OX-KING: I wanted to drop by and see my grandson! Also, money for you guys to live!

"Guess he's Ox-fam." The pun escaping Yang's lips.

"Laaaaaaame" everyone else groaned.

CHI-CHI: Thank you, Daddy!

OX-KING: I also brought you a gift, Gohan!

GOHAN: *gasps* A puppy!

OX-KING: BOOKS!

GOHAN: (eyes narrowed, in an uninterested tone) Yay...

"Can't he at least get a GameBoy?" the blonde leader questioned with simpathy.

CHI-CHI: Oh, I'm sure he'll love them. Won't you, Goha-- (a book falls on Gohan's head) Daddy?

GOHAN: Grandpa? Grandpa? (the Ox-King collapses and almost falls on Gohan) Mom.. Mom! MOM! (runs to Chi-Chi) Mommy! Grandpa's having a stroke!

CHI-CHI: Huh? (notices a cloaked hooded figure)

GINGER: Hi.

CHI-CHI: Gohan, go inside immediately!

NIKKI: (is waiting inside the house) Oh, yeah! Come on in! (eats a bunch of pears)

"That was gross," Blake complained with Weiss agreeing, "It's like watching Ruby doing that the other week at lunch."

"I was busy with something and lunch was ending!" the scythe-wielder protested.

CHI-CHI: (thinking) Son of a bitch just ate my pears. "You in fo' an ass kicking." Nora cheered, (out loud) You know we don't have a car, right?! That's like a ten mile Nimbus ride to the nearest city! For pears! You have ten seconds to tell me what you want before I strangle you with that cowl!

GINGER: I want the DragonBall! Give me the kid!

CHI-CHI: What? You can't have my son. You just want the DragonBall, right?

GINGER: Don't question my f**king methods! F**k it! I'm taking your dad! (lifts up the Ox-King a bit then drops him)He's a f**king fatass! Forget it! I'm gonna take your kid!

"Tha fu..." everyone thought all at once.

SANSHO: (off-screen) Yo, Ginger...

GINGER: Oh, right! Dragon Ball, too! Please! ...If you wouldn't mind.

CHI-CHI: I do.

GINGER: Too f**king bad!

CHI-CHI: Enough of this! (charges at GInger only to get knocked down easily)

GOHAN: Mommy!

GINGER: Ha-ha! F**king what?

(cut to Goku running while carrying the fish and arriveing on the scene to find Chi-Chi on the ground)

GOKU: Chi-Chi! I heard lunch! What happened?!

"He gets back from 'fishing' and his first concorn is what happened to his lunch!?" Weiss summed up what Goku has running through his mind, propably.

CHI-CHI: Goku, they took--

GOKU: Our lunch?

CHI-CHI: No. They took...our so--

GOKU: Oh, hey. Your dad's here. Hi, Ox-King!

CHI-CHI: Focus! They took...Gohan!

"They took your rice?" Ren question, "am I hearing this right?"

"No, you heard corrently, Ren." the white-haired heiress corrected.

GOKU: Aw, man! I can't have him miss lunch! It's the fourth most important meal of the day! Right after brunch...but right before linner. ...Love me some linner, though. So I'ma go get Gohan back. We'll be back in time for linner. Chicken and waffles? Chicken and waffles. (the Ox-King coughs) Oh, and some for your dad.

Ruby was chuckling so hard inside herself at Goku's random waffling.

(cut to inside garlic Jr's castle)

GARLIC JR.: So let me get this straight. "Weird ass castle" Jaune commented, I sent you shipdits off to find me a Dragon Ball, and you bring back a toddler?

SANSHO: Well, we did bring back the DragonBall!

GARLIC JR.: And a toddler! Did you try, I don't know, taking off the hat?

NIKKI: Well, we thought about it on the way back, but it really brings the whole Chinese Prince look together.

"Was that racist or something?" the cat Faunus asked out of confusion.

"Yeah, Nora and I saw something like that during our younger years in Mistral's lower-levels." the quiettest member mentioned.

GINGER: And he's your size. You can ROCK that shit!

GARLIC JR.: ...Fair enough.

GOHAN: My daddy's not gonna let you get away with this!

GINGER: Big f**kin' whoop! We beat Piccolo, and that guy's strong as shit!

GOHAN: Yeah? So did my dad!

GINGER: By himself?!

GOHAN: Yeah!

GARLIC JR.: (realizes there's only one man strong enough to defeat Piccolo) Oh God, your father's Goku. OH MY GOD, YOU MORONS STOLE GOKU'S KID?! HOW?! HOW DID YOU STEAL GOKU'S KID?!

"They didn't think that Goku would have the 4-STAR DRAGON BALL?!" the Schnee furisoly yelled while Ruby tried to calm her down before she gets out of hand.

NIKKI: Well, first we beat up his wife...

GARLIC JR.: Oh, my shit... Okay, look. New plan: get the last two DragonBalls. NOW!

NIKKI: Oh, yeah! We'll just go off, scour the globe, and be back before linner! *laughs* You know, it's not like they make a radar for this shit...

(cut to inside Kame House with Goku and the gang looking at the Dragon Radar)

GOKU: Oh, yeah. Someone is collecting the DragonBalls.

BULMA: Why'd they take Gohan?

GOKU: I don't know. Maybe they just want a good ol'-fashioned Goku fanny-whoopin'!

BULMA: "Fanny"?

GOKU: Chi-Chi doesn't like us to swear.

BULMA: "Butt" isn't a swear!

GOKU: ...The HFIL you talkin' about?

(cut to Nikki chasing Gohan around the castle)

NIKKI: COME BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIPLIN!!!!

GOHAN: No! You smell like hairspray and shea butter!

NIKKI: Swear to God, I don't know how I got put in charge of babysitting. I need something to take the edge off. (grabs and bites an apple, then gets smacked from behind by Gohan)

"That might explain some things." Jaune whispered to himself.

GOHAN: You're it! (takes off)

NIKKI: I will slap FIRE FROM YOU! I swear to God... (walks upstairs and finds Gohan) Oh, good. There you are. Now, be a good little crotch spawn and let's go back to your room!

GOHAN: I'm hungry!

NIKKI: Ah, well, maybe I can make you a peanut butter, jelly, and ether sandwich, and-- (Gohan pulls out an apple from his robe) Where did you get that apple?

GOHAN: In the tree.

NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!

GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple.

NIKKI: Don't eat that apple!

GOHAN: I'ma eat the apple!

NIKKI: DO...NOT...EAT...THAT A-- (Gohan eats the hole apple) Oh, balls... "Same thing happened to me last time I babysat." the knight said while everyone looked at him sustuslly, Well, I hope you packed your bags, kid. Because you're about to go on a TRIP...

"I'm not allowed near kids anymore because of that one time." Jaune also commented to ess the edge off the conversation.

(Gohan goes on a trip that would make Alice's trip in Wonderland jealous before cutting to him spacing out)

"What did we just witnessed?" Ruby now terrfidy for her life, as well as everyone else in the room, as she glinded to her bigger sister for protection.

"I don't know," Blake answering her leaders question, "but I thing we'll have nightmares for weeks because of it."

"I believe we just saw a murder, more than one I think..." the Mistral champion said with eyes wide and terrified expression on her face.

(cut to Ginger and Sansho returning to the castle)

GINGER: Got the last motherf**kin' balls!

(cut to all seven DragonBalls together and glowing)

GARLIC JR.: Got to say, I'm sort of impressed. How did you find them so fast?

GINGER: Prize in a high stakes poker game!

GARLIC JR.: Wow. Never thought you had a poker face.

GINGER: Never said I played!

GARLIC JR.: Once again, fair enough.

(they summon Shenron, the eternal dragon)

SHENRON: I am the eternal dragon. Make your wish, and I shall--

GARLIC JR.: MAKE ME IMMORTAL!

SHENRON: OH! R-really? Wow! I can't remember the last time someone actually nutted up and asked for that! "Too bad he didn't meet Vegeta till after he lost interest." Yang said, Congrats! Can't wait to hear how you f**k this up.

GARLIC JR.: Wait, the hell's that mean?

SHENRON: It means YOUR WISH HAS BEEN GRANTED! (makes Garlic Junior immortal and disappears)

GARLIC JR.: Yes! YES! I can feel it! With this eternal body, I shall enslave the world and rule it with great prejudice and terror! Hail Garlic Jr.! HAIL ME! (starts walking inside his castle)

MINIONS: HAIL GARLIC JR.! HAIL GARLIC JR.!

GOKU: HEY, GARLIC JR.!

MINIONS: HEY, GARLIC JR.! Huh? (they all turn around to look at Goku)

GOKU: I am Son Goku! And your name sounds yummy!

"I mean, he's not wrong." Ruby whispered to herself.

GARLIC JR.: I have been told.

GOKU: So, uh... Did you guys steal my kid?

GINGER: Yup! F**kin' Amber Alert up in here!

NIKKI: Oh, don't worry about him, he's just high in the throne room.

GOKU: Joke's on you! I can fly!

GINGER: ...I think he's f**kin' dumb.

"And I'm glad that they knowtested that." Blake said with a smile on her face.

KAMI: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (drops in from the sky)

"Did Mr. Popo kick Kami off the Lookout or did he just jumped and fall from orbit?" Ren questioned with, as well as everyone else, in such disbelieve.

"I bet it was Mr. Popo reminding him about the pecking order." Nora said with excitement in her tone.

GARLIC JR.: And then there's THIS asshole!

KAMI: Oh, hello, Goku. What are you doing here?

GOKU: They stole my kid.

KAMI: Mm.

GARLIC JR.: I'm quite surprised you're still alive, Kami! I believe the last time we talked was... Oh, when was that? Oh, right. When you BANISHED my father to another DIMENSION!

KAMI: Oh, Garlic Jr.. How awful to see you again. You're looking grotesque as always.

GARLIC JR.: Oh, hi there, kettle, name's pot! Have we met?

Everyone giggled at Kami's and Garlic Jr's interactions with each other.

KAMI: Listen, Goku. Just go after your son. I'll handle Garlic Jr..

GOKU: Thank God!

KAMI: You're welcome. (Goku dashes past Garlic Jr. and heads inside the castle)

"You're no Oum!" Everyone internelly screamed.

GINGER: Catch that bitch! (takes off after Goku)

NIKKI: Slow your roll, champ! (also takes off after Goku)

SANSHO: Hey, yo, wait for me! I'm bigger than y'all! (follows his comrades and takes off after Goku)

(Garlic Jr. and Kami stare at each other before cutting to Goku inside the castle)

GOKU: Man, left in such a hurry, I accidentally skipped lunch! Maybe this place has a cafeteria. No, it's a castle. (stops in the middle of the hall) A meatery? (begins running up the stairs only for Garlic Junior's minions to block his path)

GINGER: You want some food? We can hook you up! How 'bout some motherf**kin' ginger?!

NIKKI: Or maybe some cinnamon?!

SANSHO: I got some pepper for you. You like pepper?

"Are they seriously talking about their names." the Heiress groaned with little fusteration.

GOKU: Hey, those aren't foods! Those are things you put ON foods!

GINGER: Like GINGERBREAD?!

NIKKI: Or CINNABUNS?!

SANSHO: I-I got nothin', um... "Pepperoni?" Jaune stated.(pause) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGS!

"Not really contradicting him there..." the blonde leaders partner said.

(all three minions bulk up)

GOKU: Okay, now you're just making me hungry! And you wouldn't like me when I'm-- (gets attacked by the minions) Wait! Ahh! (hits a pillar and then gets back up on his feet) ...Hungry!

"Wasn't that some to relate to another franchise or something?" the crimsonette asked with confusion.

"Yeah, what was it though, MAR-VELL or something like that." Ruby's sister stated with some form of an answer.

(cut back to Garlic Junior and Kami)

GARLIC JR.: So, Kami, you mad that I tried to have you killed?

KAMI: More confused why you target Piccolo instead of me. Not that it matters; I'm going to put you down for good, not unlike I did your FATHER, you miserable little--

GARLIC JR.: And I will enjoy watching you fail! Because you see, before you arrived, I used the DragonBalls to grant myself immortality! (starts laughing)

KAMI: Wait, so you tried to have me killed, then used the DragonBalls?

GARLIC JR.: (stops laughing) What? Yeah, why? Oh, shit... Wow, I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank God my minions are so incompetent!

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that one." said JNPR's resident ninja and everyone did forget about that but failed to bring it up.

(cut back to inside the hall with Goku knocking all three minions to the ground)

GOKU: Now tell me where the meatery is! ...And then the throne room! ...Please tell me the meatery is IN the throne room! (Nikki an Sansho fire a blast at Goku, but their blasts gets redirected by two blasts) Huh?

KRILLIN: HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! Hey, Goku! Looks like you could use some help!

GOKU: Not really, no. Hey, Krillin! Is that a second power beam?

PICCOLO: 'Sup?

(Krillin screams and jumps back)

GOKU: Oh, hey, Piccolo!

GINGER: You alive?!

GOKU: Well, of course he's alive! Kami's alive! I mean, you guys have used the DragonBalls, right?

GINGER: ...Oh, wow! Yeah! Thank God we incompetent!

"Employee of the Year, everyone." the blonde bombshell joked on.

PICCOLO: Not even gonna lie, this is EXACTLY what I'm looking for in a castle. Walls, ceiling, meatery...

GOKU: WHERE?!

"Way to establish prorities, Goku." the cat Faunus bluntly said.

PICCOLO: (eyes the minions) ..Could do without the spice rack, though.

(Krillin is freaking out, when he feels liquid on top of his head, and he looks up to find that Gohan has wandered out and is now peeing on his head)

KRILLIN: WHY--- (begins to gurgle as his mouth fills up with urine)

"WHY DID YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH!?" the white haired member shouted in confusion and fusturation.

The other blantly said "Gross." while Ruby calmed Weiss down.

(Cut back to Kami and Garlic Jr. who have begun their battle. Kami tries firing eye beams at Garlic Jr, but he evades them and headbutts Kami to a pillar.)

GARLIC JR.: (punctuates each word with a blow) WHERE...IS...YOUR...GOD...NOW?! (the last punch sends Kami through the pillar, who manages to hold onto an edge to avoid falling) So, Kami, why don't you pray for your life? And then, like every person who's ever prayed to you, I'll ignore it! (Kami begins to glow) What the-- (Kami uses an Explosive Wave to send Garlic Junior crashing into a wall and landing on his face) (muffled) In case you know... This means war!

(cut back to inside the castle)

GOKU: Gohan! (runs for the stairs, but his path is once again blocked by the minions) Krillin, I take back what I said! Get my son!

KRILLIN: Woo-hoo, I'm helping! (starts running up the stairs, but runs into Sansho)

"At least more heplful than Yamcha." the hammer-wielder quietly joked to herself.

SANSHO: I'ma break your butt! (charges at Krillin, but Piccolo sends a blast through the floor, which causes him to fall)

KRILLIN: Oh, thank God he's on our side! (runs after Gohan)

PICCOLO: I was aiming for the short, bald one, but...you'll do.

SANSHO: You mean! (gets blasted him through a wall)

PICCOLO: Not so tough without your two back up dancers, are you, ugly?

SANSHO: Now, why you gotta be throwin' out mean words like that?!

PICCOLO: You know, that's fair. How about I grab a couple of friends and try to murder you instead?

SANSHO: Well personally, I think that would be uncalled for! (Piccolo hits him again, sending him stuck onto a wall)

PICCOLO: You're right. Because unlike you.. (finishes off Sansho with a blast) ..I don't need help. (starts walking outside)

"That is both awesome and dark at the same time." the blonde knight stated with awe across his face, and everyone agreeing on what he said.

(deeper inside the castle, Goku is still fighting against Ginger and Nikki, who arm themselves with swords)

GOKU: Oh, come on, you guys! That's not fair! I can't pull swords out of my body!

NIKKI: STAND STILL AND YOU WILL! (he and Ginger gang up and attacks Goku)

GOKU: (while dodging each of their attacks) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! (they cut some of his hair) NO! MY 'DO! (hits block both Nikki and Ginger's attacks with his power pole) STRANGER DANGER! (extends the power pole to send Nikki crashing to the ground)

Ruby had stars in her eyes as she saw the Power Pole extends.

GINGER: That shit gets LONGER?!

NIKKI: (muffled, in pain) OH, YEAH, IT DOES!

GOKU: GOKU KICK! (kicks Ginger in Nikki's direction) Kamehame...

GINGER: You ain't got shit! (fires a blast of his own)

GOKU: HA! (fires the Kamehameha wave, which swallows Ginger's blasts and sends him flying in Nikki's direction)

NIKKI: (thinking) Friggin' hell... Last time I take on a guy with a pole that big...

GINGER: INCOMING!!!

NIKKI: OH, MY GOD! (they both get caught in the blast)

GINGER: (muffled from underneath the rubble) What a...a douchebag... (groans with his hand becoming limp)

"That was the lamess death ever, of all time." Nora said with disappointment on her face.

(cut Kami and Garlic Jr. now inside the castle, and Kami's not doing any better than he was before)

GARLIC JR.: What's wrong, Kami? Fallen and can't get up? Do I need to push that big, red button for you? (Kami stumbles forward and lands on Garlic Jr.'s shoulder) ...Okay, you're making this weird, Kami.

KAMI: We'll see how that immortality works out for you when I've blown us both into bits! (locks his arms around Garlic Jr. and begins charging his attack)

"Does he not understand the concept of 'Immortality'?" the four-time champion wondered.

GARLIC JR.: Oh, really? You want to stress-test this? Sure, go ahead! And while my men are scraping little green chunks off the wall, I'll be partying in my throne room with a harem of sexy demon skanks! Seriously, what part of IMMORTALITY don't you understand?

PICCOLO: Actually, I'm with him. I'm gonna have to ask you not to blow yourself up right now.

GARLIC JR.: Well, well... It seems you've eluded my men!

PICCOLO: Yeah, sure. Let's go with that.

GARLIC JR.: Oh God, they're all dead, aren't they?

"That's surprising?" Blake also wondered.

GOKU: Yup! Thank goodness they were so incontinent!

GARLIC JR.: Looks like if you want someone killed right...you kill them yourself!

PICCOLO: Ooh, I might use that!

"And he doesn't." Yang braking the sense of seriousness.

(Garlic Junior bulks up, being ten times his original size)

GOKU: Huh... For a second, there, I swore he was gonna yell out "spaghetti" or something... (Garlic Jr. attacks him and Piccolo and fires a blast, with both of them getting out of the way. Goku grabs Kami to and drops him at a safe distance.) Kami! Stay here and don't move! (takes off)

KAMI: I swear if I didn't know you, I'd call you a smartass.

"More of a DUMBASS." the blonde brawler joked on but met with no laughter.

(Piccolo throws a punch at Garlic Jr., which does absolutely nothing)

GARLIC JR.: (speaking in a more deeper voice) Been bulking since I installed the meatery!

GOKU: ( jumps in front of Piccolo and attacks Garlic Junior) Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?

GARLIC JR.: I'm sure you can find one in hell! (fires a blast at Goku and Piccolo simultaneously, which causes the castle to start falling apart)

(cut to Krillin running to avoide the falling rocks while carrying Gohan)

KRILLIN: (repeatedly says, "Crap!" to the Tetris theme) ♪Crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap-crap, crap, crap, crap.♪ (gets hit by a massive beam on the head, causing him to fall unconscious and drop Gohan, who gets buried under debris)

"How did they survive?" Weiss quetsioned.

"You do realise it's an anime, right?" Jaune reminding his 'ex-crush'.

(cut to Goku hiding from Garlic Junior)

GARLIC JR.: TOOT TOOT! (grabs Goku by the head)

GOKU: Aahh!

Team's RWBY and JNPR laughed at Garlic Jr's train inpression.

PICCOLO: (thinking) Ugh, my WRIST.. It doesn't hurt a LOT, but it's DEFINITELY uncomfortable.. Maybe I should get a wrist brace or some--

GARLIC JR.: PAIN TRAIN'S COMING! (grabs Piccolo's head as well)

GOKU: Hey, Piccolo!

They contiune to laugh even more with the greeting from Goku.

(Garlic Jr. takes both of them outside of the castle by bursting through a wall)

GARLIC JR.: Next stop: ROCK BOTTOM! (crushes them both into the ground)

GOKU: (muffled) I get it! (he and Piccolo get away) That's it! Takin' off my clothes! (takes off his shirt)

PICCOLO: Wait a minute, why would you even bring your weighted gi?

GOKU: Why would you? (Piccolo takes off his cape and turban)

PICCOLO: Because I don't have a house to leave them in!

GOKU: Why don't you just buy a house with the Ox-King's money?

PICCOLO: What world do you live in?

GOKU: One with a house...and a wife...and a son!

PICCOLO: ...I really don't care for you right now. (both he and Goku charge at Garlic Jr.)

"Well, he DID kill your dad." RWBY's cat ninja recollected.

GARLIC JR.: Give me your best sho--

(Goku and Piccolo blast him simutaneously, sending him flying away)

GOKU: And that's the way the garlic crumbles!

KAMI: You DO realize he's immortal.

PICCOLO: Pretty sure you chop garlic.

KAMI: Seriously, he wished for immortality before you showed up!

GOKU: Either way, I call this another win for Goku!

PICCOLO: 'Scuse me? That was my kill!

"Are they doing this right now?" Yang questioned with her little sister responding with a "yep".

KAMI: He's going to get up at any moment! He's got this technique, too, and it's--

GOKU: Piccolo, it's not a competition! I already won!

KAMI: You can still sense him! He's not--

PICCOLO: I am going to wear your entrails as sweatbands!

KAMI: I can literally see the debris SHAKING!

(Goku and Piccolo ignore Kami and attack each other, and Garlic Junior gets back up)

GARLIC JR.: I AM ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT DONE!

(summons the a dark abyss known as the Dead Zone, which begins sucking up everything, although Goku and Piccolo don't notice until it causes the floor below them crumbples, which causes them to fall)

GARLIC JR.: This is the Dead Zone! The SAME dimension you banished my dear father to, Kami!

KAMI: So is that how your father receives conjugal visits?!

GARLIC JR.: EAT A DICK, YOU WRINKLED GREEN DUSTBIN!!

Some of the hunters chuckled at Kami's remark on Garlic Jr's father.

(the dead zone is starting to suck everything into it, including the castle)

PICCOLO: NO! My castle! (starts flying towards the Dead Zone, but Goku manages to grab him by the foot)

GOKU: Hey, Piccolo! He's not dead!

PICCOLO: YEAH, how 'bout that?!

KAMI: YEAH, HOW 'BOUT THAT?!

PICCOLO: Well, then...this victory is MINE! (fires a blast at Garlic Jr., but it just bounces off)

GOKU: ...You want, I should take a turn?

PICCOLO: Shove it, Goku!

They continue to chuckle.

(meanwhile, Krillin regains consciousness as he is being sucked toward the Dead Zone)

KRILLIN: OH GOD, NO!

GARLIC JR.: EVERYONE IS GETTING SUCKED TODAY! Demons, humans, and Gods alike! It's even sucking up your children!

GOHAN: LEAVE MY DADDY ALONE!! (crashes through the debris he was buried under)

GARLIC JR.: Huh?

GOKU: Gohan?! Krillin, you had one job!

GARLIC JR.: Oh, how cute! And what is the four-year-old going to do to stop me? (Gohan sends a blast at him which hits him head on) Ah. (flies inside the Dead Zone, which shatters)

"That felt..." Weiss trying to find the right word to describe the villains end.

"Anticlimaxtic?" Blake finding the correct word her white-haired teammate.

(cut to Gohan sleeping in Goku's arms)

GOHAN: (wakes up and see Goku) Daddy!

GOKU: Hey, son!

GOHAN: What happened?

GOKU: I don't know! I think I won.

GOHAN: You're the best, daddy!

GOKU: Uh-huh! Now, let's go han, Go-home! It's almost time for dikfast! (picks up his power pole and walks away with Krillin and Kami)

PICCOLO: (watching from above) ...I'm gonna steal that kid.

"At least he did something right in the series." the scythe-wielder stated based off watching the first season.

(shows Goku and Gohan heading home on the Flying Nimbus)

NARRATOR: And so, the brave Son Goku and his son defeated the evil Garlic Jr.! With the help of Piccolo, Kami, and the greatest ally known to man-kind...

KRILLIN: ...The sex master and kung-fu legend-- (cut to Kame House) KRILLIN!

Nappa: (on the phone) Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna have to stop you right there. First question: WHY would he summon the Dead Zone--the only thing that could defeat him?

"Wait a damn minute, is that NAPPA!? the hammer-wielding ginger shouted with excitement on seeing her favourite character back from the dead.

"Yes Nora, yes it is." her partner confirms for her.

KRILLIN: Okay, you know, I wrote myself into a corner with that whole immortality thing. Pretty much regretted it immediately after.

Nappa: Second question, I mean no offense: Why exactly were you there?

KRILLIN: I do bring a certain humanistic edge to the setting...

Nappa: And WHY did you write yourself getting peed on?

"Good bloody question" Pyrrha said with curosity.

KRILLIN: The better question is: how much will you PAY ME to get peed on?

"I thought you paid THEM for a golden shower?" the blonde brawler wondered.

Nappa: ...You're gonna go far in this business.

KRILLIN: Woo-hoo!

[The film, Skygina, was eventually produced.

It grossed 7 billion Zeni in its first week.

Due to Krillin's lack of foresight, however, as well as a convoluted contract, he received no money from the film and was stricken from the credits.

He now lives, broke as the day he was born, at Kame House.]

Aww, Nappa lied to him." Nora complained.

This is Vegeta all over again." Weiss also complained.

"The Prince, the planet or the king?" Blaked questioned.

"Yes?" the heiress said with uncurtonty.

("Twlight Zone" by Golden Earring starts playing as the credits roll. Garlic Jr. is shown pounding his fist as he is trapped in the Dead Zone.)

"Alright, who needs a bathroom break? Ruby questioned before the next movie poped onto the screen and paused it. Everyone sorted themselves out with going to the toilets and getting a snack from the caffaterina.

They all returned to their seats and the leader of team RWBY pressed play to begin the second movie.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut over to the icy mountains with a gigantic pillar of light being shown, which causes snow to tumble down as it reveals that the blast came from Piccolo)

PICCOLO: (shivering due to being out in the cold) G-good. Progress on my...ice castle is underway. I'll have to...install central heating. "In an ICE castle?" Weiss questions, Body is n-ninety percent water... "And by simple biology, he should be already dead." the heiress contines ranting, And this CLOAK DOES NOTHING!!

"If only there was a way to create clothes out of air." Yang sarcasticly stated, already knowing from the first season about the 'clothes beam' technique.

"Whatever happened to the castle in the wasteland?" Blake started to wonder since the previous movie.

OOLONG: Well, maybe you should have have packed more.

(cut over to Oolong and Gohan somewhere else in the icy mountains)

GOHAN: Y-you never said we were going to the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains... Literally the coldest place on Earth... You just told me, "Hey, Gohan! I stole--"

OOLONG: "Found."

GOHAN: "--found the Dragon Radar. Wanna go make a wish?"

"Chi-Chi ain't gonna like this." Ruby said like she saw someone getting in trouble by the teacher.

OOLONG: How about a little less whining and a little more climbing? They just found the sixth ball! (shows six DragonBalls beeping on the radar)

GOHAN: It kind of seems wrong that we're planning on stealing a wish... Which reminds me. What are you planning to wish for?

OOLONG: (envisions himself leading a Nazi-like pig group) Justice.

"WHAT THE HELL, OOLONG?!?!" Everyone shouted at the vision inside the pigs head.

"Revenge is not the answer." Ren said with little caution in his tone.

GOHAN: What?

OOLONG: Panties. Gonna wish for panties.

GOHAN: Oh, Oolong, you're incorrigible!

"Stop him before it's too late!" the crimsonette yelled out.

OOLONG: Yeah, yeah, just get the lead out before they find the seventh-- (the Dragon Radar alerts him that the seventh ball has been collected) Oh, oink me in the alps.

Some of the hunters laughed at the statement because in their heads it's "F*ck me in the ass."

(shows all seven DragonBalls on the snow and glowing)

KOCHIN: Rise, Eternal Dragon! Did I do it right? "Honestly, no one is really sure." Jaune honestly said, I hope I did it right. (there is a burst of energy and all seven DrgonBalls fall off of the cliff) Aw, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh shit! Is that bad? Can they break?!

(there's another burst of energy and Shenron appears)

SHENRON: *sighs* Okay, what do you assholes want this ti-- (sees Kochin) Oh. OH! "Now, don't freak out, just like you practice." Nora jokingly stated, Hmm... I am the Eternal Dragon. State your wish and I shall grant it.

KOCHIN: I have scoured the planet for you for the last fifty years. "Didn't happen to catch him the quadrillion times he was used, huh?" Ruby said bluntly, With you lies my only hope... Eternal Dragon, I beseech you, with your bountiful, mystic power... Could you please melt the ice off my front door?

"Dumbest. Wish. Ever." Pyrrha's thoughts were said out loud, "Of all time."

"You mean besides panties?" Weiss compared.

SHENRON: E-excuse me?

KOCHIN: Look, I left to get groceries fifty years ago. Bit of a trek to civilization. Came back, the entire lair was iced over. Went back, got some salt. Pretty evidential real quick that that wasn't going to work. Tried fire, melted it. That just made more ice--try and figure that out. Then I tried, uh... I'm sorry, is this a little unorthodox?

SHENRON: Just a little, yes.

KOCHIN: I'm sorry, I'm not really used to the whole 'magical dragon' thing. I'm an engineer by trade.

"Couldn't you make something then?" the cat Faunus asked with confusion.

SHENRON: Hey, look, it's fine. But, how 'bout--just throwing it out there--I give YOU the power to melt the ice!

KOCHIN: But that's what I have YOU for...

SHENRON: Yes, I know, but I'm trying to--

KOCHIN: Don't you go pawning this off on me!

SHENRON: I'm not, but if it happens AGAIN, then... You know, fine. Whatever. (eyes glow red and then proceeds to melt the ice)

"And the ice shatters making the global warming worse." the heiress playing scentist mockingly noticing.

KOCHIN: Oh, wow! That was fast!

SHENRON: Yeah, well, I just put a massive hole in your ozone layer. What, took you fifty years to find me? Good luck figuring out how long it takes THAT to fix! Shenron, out.

"Peace." the scythe and hammer wielders said in unison while swinging a peace symbol from their fingers.

(Shenron disappears and the seven DragonBalls fly up in the sky and scatters)

OOLONG: No! My Schwein-Staffel!

KOCHIN: Finally! Now, to reunite with my master, and... Oh, crap. Did I leave my keys at Slump's?

"What were you doing in Penguin Village?" Blake asked while everyone else looked at her in confusion, "What?"

"You know of Penguin Faunus' having their own village?" the silver-eyed girl wanting to reconfirm what her black haired member was talking about.

"Yeah, there's a village up in Atlas full with Penguin Faunus, there was one in the White Fang called Slump too."

"Cool."

"Although I think he left shortly before I did because of his family were in their 70's."

(shows a silhouetted figure of Goku preparing to use the Spirit Bomb by lifting both hands in the sky as it shows a brain in the background as well as the text that reads 'The World's Strongest')

(cut to Gohan and Oolong investigating the newly-uncovered lab)

OOLONG: All right, what the hell is this and why did my wish get wasted on it?

"Thank Oum." the white haired teammate whispered.

GOHAN: It looks like an...evil lair!

OOLONG: Oh, no... Nope, uh-uh, no way! I know how this goes! (leaps off Gohan and tries to run off) You can't make me-- (gets stopped in his tracks by a blue warrior) Damn it all!

GOHAN: Don't worry, Oolong! I'll save you--

(three more blue warriors appear and proceed to ambush Gohan)

"What a hero." Weiss sarcastically said.

"He's 5, I think, give him a break." Pyrrha defended.

OOLONG: Get 'em, Gohan!

(Gohan continues to be beaten up until Piccolo grabs one of the blue warrior's hands)

"Piccolo, help." the lightning absorber cheered like a young child.

PICCOLO: (is blue-skinned from head to toe) Hey, Gohan. C-c-c-cold enough for ya?

GOHAN: Mr....Piccolo?

PICCOLO: Did we miss some Saibamen?

BIOMAN: We are Biomen.

"Bullshit." Everyone thought.

PICCOLO: I feel like we missed some Saibamen.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo...

PICCOLO: J-just watch out for the explodey ones. Don't wanna pull a--

YAMCHA: Hey, guys! I was in the middle of training, and I saw what went down-- (a Bioman grabs him and starts glowing) WHY?! (Bioman explodes off-screen)

"Yamcha being Yamcha getting Yamcha-ed?" the blonde leader questioned if what he said made any sense.

PICCOLO: That. Don't wanna pull a that. (shows Yamcha on the ground groaning in pain...and defeat)So...wanna help me build my ice castl-- (begins to scream as he's blasted from underground)

"Good Oum, the lungs on that guy." Yang worried.

GOHAN: Mr.... (Piccolo continues screaming) Piccolo... (passes out as he and Oolong fall through the ice) (later regains consciousness inside a cave) Mr. Piccolo? Oolong! I think Mr. Piccolo's in trouble!

"Oh, what tipped ya off?" Jaune joked on.

OOLONG: Oh, no. I'm fine, Gohan. Thanks for asking.

GOHAN: Yeah, well, sorry, but he was screaming pretty loud, and--

OOLONG: When's the last time you saw a fight where someone didn't scream? "A very fair point." JNPR's ninja ashored. "In an anime? That exists?" Yang questioned, Now. We are going to go home, and you are not going to tell your mother about this little outing.

GOHAN: But I--

OOLONG: DO NOT TELL YOUR MOTHER ABOUT THIS!

GOHAN: Okay! Fine. Why do I feel like I'm going to hear that for the rest of my life?

"YoU cAn SeE tHe FuTuRe!!" Everyone, minus Weiss and Ren, shouting a reference from the first special they seen.

OOLONG: Because you are.

(cut to Goku's house)

CHI-CHI: You're seriously not going to talk to him?

GOKU: Why? He came back safe and sound.

(inside, Goku is doing push-ups with his thumb and Chi-Chi is cooking)

CHI-CHI: He was gone for three days, and refuses to tell us where he went or what he did.

GOKU: Oh, come on, Chi-Chi. I lived in the woods for eight years all by myself.

CHI-CHI: That's why you're not his role model.

"And Piccolo is better?" the blonde brawler questions.

GOKU: 'Course not. Piccolo is.

(shift to inside Gohan's room, who's doing his homework)

CHI-CHI: And THAT is a conversation we desperately need to have.

"Why? Have you MET Piccolo recently? He'd honestly make a better father AND, possibly, husband." the ninja Faunus said with some truth behind her words.

"Though there is the issue of him teaching Gohan how to use 'Demon Energy'." JNPR's ninja countered.

"But there'e pros and cons with any relationship." Ruby reashores.

GOHAN: (sighs and sits back on his chair and remembers seeing Piccolo back at the Tsurumai-Tsuburi Mountains along with an explosion with Yamcha screaming) I sure hope Mr. Piccolo's doing alright.

(shifts to a wierd dream with Gohan walking on a planet with Piccolo on the peak of a mountain)

PICCOLO: Gohan! Gohan! I'm trying to reach you telepathically! (shows Gohan flying with two animals and a book with Chi-Chi creeping in the background) God, Gohan, they've captured me! (shows a brief shot of Piccolo and then shifts back to Gohan walking on a red planet behind Piccolo, who's also walking) Gohan! They're torturing me! They're forcing things into my brain, Gohan! Gohan! My veins! (shows Gohan alone in a sunset area) GOHAN!!!

CHI-CHI: Gohan!

PICCOLO: MY VEINS!!!!!!!

"What in the actual hell???" Everyone mentally questioned themselves at what they witnessed.

"Whats that better or worse than the previous one." Yang whating to hear the others opinion. Everyone agreed that the one from the first movie was more terrfying.

CHI-CHI: Gohan! (back to reality where Gohan wakes up) Gohan, what is going on with you?

GOHAN: I... I was dreaming.

CHI-CHI: Well, have you finished your homework?

GOHAN: Oh, Mom! I'm never finished.

CHI-CHI: That is the correct answer. (begins to leave the room but stops) Gohan, you're not on drugs, right?

GOHAN: It was just the one apple, Mom.

"WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER ABOUT THAT?!" Nora loudly questioned.

"Better qustion: Does is mean that the movies are connected to one another?" JNPR's leader thinking bigger.

(cut over at Kame House)

OOLONG: This is some old bullshit! Just because I stole the Dragon Radar means I have to do all the prep work? "That ain't luttuce he's working with people." Yang using her puns again, Where does he even grow this stuff, anyway? He doesn't have a basement... (shrieks as Bulma appears beside him)

BULMA: Best not to ask too many questions. Also, have you checked the oven?

OOLONG: Oh, hell.. (opens the oven, which emits black smoke causing him to cough repeatedly before opening his eyes, which is now red) Great, now my entire evening is gonna be spent trying to find something to watch on Netflix!

MASTER ROSHI:  (from upstairs)  Those better not be my brownies, pig!  (coughs and someone knocks on the front door)   Oh, geez. Turtle, can you get that? I can not find my feet...

"He's higher than the non-existing moon." Nora giggled.

(Turtle goes outside to see who it is)

TURTLE: What up? You got the money?

(shows the face of a Bioman)

BIOMAN: We want the Roshi!

TURTLE: And WE want the money.

BIOMAN: Bring us the Roshi, or be destroyed!

TURTLE: How about you get the hell off our island?

BIOMAN: There are six of Biomen and one of Turtle!

TURTLE: I am nine hundred and ninety-nine years old. I don't give a f**k!

The room started to giggle at the turtle's carelessness.

(Master Roshi comes out the door coughing)

MASTER ROSHI: Are you the buyer? 'Cause there's gonna be a bit of a delay. (coughs a few more times) Turns out pigs can't cook brownies.

BIOMAN: You have been forcefully in-vited to the laboratory of Dr. Wheelo!

MASTER ROSHI: I only need one doctor, and that's "Feelgood". Also, my GP to check my prostate every few years; it's important at my age.

BULMA: (walks out the front door) Roshi, what the heck is going on-- (sees the Biomen) Wait, are those Saibamen?

BIOMAN: We are Biomen. And if you do not comply, we will make you!

MASTER ROSHI: Ooooh, it is a bad time for this...

BIOMAN: Prepare for combat!

(the Biomen attack and are easily defeated by Master Roshi, with one of them landing next to Turtle)

MASTER ROSHI: I do not hold back when I'm toasted.

KOCHIN: (starts clapping) Excellent. Exactly to be expected from the world's strongest fighter.

"What tournament did you see?" the heiress questioned.

MASTER ROSHI: Eh, I'm not one to brag. *sniffs*

KOCHIN: Dr. Wheelo will be humbled to have you as his honored guest. Whether you like it or not.

MASTER ROSHI: (referring to the Biomen he has defeated) Are the bodies not a clear indicator of how this is gonna go down?

KOCHIN: Well, you see, strength is only relative when a little leverage is applied. (points to the front porch to reveal two Saiba--I mean Biomen holding Bulma by both arms, who starts panicking) Now, comply, lest I have my Saiba--

BIOMAN: We are BIOMEN!

KOCHIN: Yes, whatever! Nobody cares! My creations rip her limb from limb.

MASTER ROSHI: Damn it. And those are some fine-ass limbs, too. All right, I'll go. Turtle, you're in charge!

TURTLE: All right, but if the buyer shows up, I'm taking ten percent.

MASTER ROSHI: Triflin'-ass turtle.

(cut to Oolong at Goku's house speaking to Goku who bathing in a barrel)

OOLONG: Old man Roshi might have been kidnapped.

GOKU: Oh, don't sweat it. Roshi can handle that.

OOLONG: Yeah... They might have also been strong enough to take Piccolo, too. Uh, they said they were looking for the world's strongest fighter.

GOKU: But I'm... Why didn't they...? "Jealousy? He can FEEL that?" Yang sarcastically gasped, (cut to him fully dressed on the Flying Nimbus speaking to Chi-Chi and Gohan) There's been a terrible mistake, I gotta fix this! (takes off)

"Like your marriage." Yang shot out.

(cut to inside a laboratory with Master Roshi being shown on a monitor)

KOCHIN: There he is... Your new body!

DR. WHEELO: Why is he old?

KOCHIN: He's the world's strongest man!

DR. WHEELO: And the world's oldest. (monitor shows Bulma sitting on a chair alongside Master Roshi) Again, Kochin, why not just give me the woman?

KOCHIN: I told you, you can't have a WOMAN'S body! They're not nearly strong enough!

"Sad thing is, he's right." Nora admitted.

DR. WHEELO: Sexism aside... I'm really not that picky.

KOCHIN: Also, she doesn't have a penis.

DR. WHEELO: ...So you want to give me the old man?

"The old pervert, yes." the four-time champion simplfied.

KOCHIN: Yes.

DR. WHEELO: With the old man's penis?

"... and sicknesses." the red head continues.

KOCHIN: Listen, you just need a demonstration.

DR. WHEELO: Oh, please no.

(shift over to Bulma, who screams as she gets pulled down into the darkness)

MASTER ROSHI: Oh, come on! This ain't your first kidnappin'!

(the lights come on)

KOCHIN: Feast your eyes on our Bio-Warriors!

DR. WHEELO: Kochin... (monitor changes to show the Bio-Warriors as innocent creatures) What did you do to my creations?! Zap-Zap, Blub-Blub, Burr?!

KOCHIN: I made a few alterations this morning. Introducing Electrocutioner! Bouncy Butcher! And Freezer!

"Say what now?" Ruby noticed and everyone else slowly catching on.

FREEZER: Bah!

KOCHIN: Fighting someone on the trademark for that last name, though.

DR. WHEELO: They're terrifying!

KOCHIN: Terrifyingly effective!

DR. WHEELO: They were supposed to be cute and cuddly and aid the elderly!

KOCHIN: Now they're cruel and vicious and fight the elderly! Speaking of which, commence the demonstration!

MASTER ROSHI: Oh man, and I'm comin' down... (begins to fight the Bio-Warriors)

BULMA: Beat their asses!

DR. WHEELO: Woah, where'd she come from? (shows Bulma with shackles on both her hands and feet) And why is she chained up?

MASTER ROSHI: Ka... Me.. Ha... Me... HAAA!

(Master Roshi fires the blast at Bouncy Butcher, who absorbs the blast and deflects it back at him. Master Roshi nearly dodges his own blast and gets punched by Freezer. Electrocutioner proceeds to shock Master Roshi with electric whips, who falls down to the ground, sizzling in defeat)

KOCHIN: Fiddlesticks. I could have sworn he was the strongest fighter in the world.

BULMA: Oh, right. The three hundred year-old man.

DR. WHEELO: Seriously, why is she chained up?

BULMA: Roshi's not even in the top five anymore. As in, I've got at least five friends, all stronger than he is!

"Not the time to brag, Bulma." Blake complained.

KOCHIN: Is that so?

DR. WHEELO: Oh, do not indulge him.

BULMA: Okay, who else keeps talking?

(Dr. Wheelo reveals himself, who is a brain embedded in a wall)

DR. WHEELO: Hello.

BULMA: Um... Hi?

DR. WHEELO: My name is Dr. Wheelo. Good to meet you.

"Finally, we got a name." Weiss groaned in antisapation. (A/N: I know their names are reveiled but the cast don't know that.)

BULMA: Wait, Dr. Jonathan Wheelo? The famous biologist and cancer researcher? Your breakthroughs changed the entire landscape of the field!

DR. WHEELO: Oh, thank you. Thank you. Can I have your body?

"At least take her to dinner first." RWBY's brawler joked on.

BULMA: What? No!

DR. WHEELO: Oh, I'm so sorry, not sexually. I-I mean your actual, physical body. To put my brain in.

BULMA: Still NO!

DR. WHEELO: Oh, come on, it's been fifty years! I suddenly got sick one day--lung cancer, ironically--and that one decides to put me in stasis. (Kochin frowns and glares at Dr. Wheelo) Next thing I know, he's gone to get groceries for fifty years. Which is just my father all over again.

"Sounds like he and Gohan have a lot in common." Jaune noticed.

BULMA: Okay, well, I'm sorry and all, but there's no way I'd agree to that. Not that you'd fit, anyway.

DR. WHEELO: Whhyyyy?

KOCHIN: Oh, your gray matter seems to have absorbed a little bit of the embalming fluid that you're stored in!

DR. WHEELO: What?! How big am I?!

BULMA: I'd say...a golden retriever.

DR. WHEELO: But a golden retriever's brain is small!

BULMA: No, like, the size of a golden retriever.

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, what the hell, man?!

KOCHIN: Oh, calm down, sir...

DR. WHEELO: I can't fit in a body like THIS!

KOCHIN: Don't worry about it. Sometimes brain surgery is a little more 'art' than science.

DR. WHEELO: You're thinking of baking!

KOCHIN: I might be thinking of baking...

BULMA: Well, Pinky. You picked the wrong guy, anyway. You want Son Goku.

"Actually, you'd want his son, Son Gohan." Nora reginmened.

DR. WHEELO: Can I fit in him?

BULMA: To be fair, there's probably a vacancy. But you have to get him here first. And good luck kidnapping--

(a warning alarm goes off)

DR. WHEELO: What is that?

(Goku is shown on the screen)

GOKU: Hello. My name is Son Goku. Is anyone home?

KOCHIN: Oh, and the stars align.

GOKU: Someone made a mistake! If you're looking for the world's strongest fighter, I'm here!

KOCHIN: Yes, yes! Son Goku! Please, if you would, join us!

GOKU: A'ight! (jumps off the Flying Nimbus and lands near the front entrance) Sure hope it's warmer inside... (shifts to him running inside shivering his tits off) It's actually colder! How is it colder?! (enters a room filled with a bunch of giant, floating balls) Oh, cool! He's got a ball pit! (spikes emerges from all the floating balls) Oh, no, he's got a ball pit.. (jumps to avoid getting hit by an incoming ball)

DR. WHEELO: Kochin?

KOCHIN: Yes?

DR. WHEELO: WHAT?!

KOCHIN: Oh, the Death Spheres! Quite ingenious, no?

DR. WHEELO: No! Why do we have them?!

KOCHIN: Well, if the Red Ribbon Army hadn't suddenly up and disappeared, they'd have made us a mint. "You're clearly not in touch with current events, are you?" Jaune bluntly questioned, (Goku destroys all of the Death Spheres with multiple blasts) Annd there goes fifty billion Zeni.

DR. WHEELO: HOW MUCH?!

Even the hunters questioned about the price.

GOKU: That was easily the second-worst ball pit I've ever been in. (Bouncy Butcher comes out of nowhere and punches him in the face, who rebounds and tries to kick him, but gets enveloped in Bouncy Butcher's squishy body) Oh, no. Oh, God. Ew, ew, ew, it's moist. Why is it moist? (gets away) Okay, get it together. Just gotta go in there...and do it. Just like with Chi-Chi. (Bouncy Butcher starts inflating) Just like with Chi Chi... "The hell does that mean??" everyone thought, (charges at Bouncy Butcher again, pulling his torso with him as he goes higher) Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EWWWW!! (uses Kaio-ken to rip a hole through Bouncy Butcher's torso and flies up to the next floor as Bouncy Butcher is shown deflating like a balloon)

"And R.I.P. Blub-Blub." the brawler stated.

KOCHIN: Good, good! He's already dispatched of one of the Bio-Warriors!

DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub... He was made for hugs...

KOCHIN: And combat!

DR. WHEELO: No...

GOKU: I swear, I'ma deck the heck out of the next guy I see!

FREEZER: (appears in front of Goku) Bah! (Goku decks him in the schnoz) AH! (muffled) OW! F**k! Shit!

GOKU: Oh! Oh, gosh, I'm sorry!

FREEZER: What the f**k, man?!

GOKU: D-do you need some ice?

FREEZER: Oh, you think you're funny?! Zapps, get in here. I-I need a sec.

ELECTROCUTIONER: I'm the Electrocutioner now!

FREEZER: Then electrocutionate him! I don't give a f**k!

GOKU: Who's your buddy? (screams as he gets zapped by Electrocutioner and gets blasted backwards, hitting the stairs as he falls down)

DR. WHEELO: ...Wait, can they all talk?

KOCHIN: Of course they can! They're completely sentient.

(cut to Bouncy Butcher face-down on the ground, with a hole in his torso)

BOUNCY BUTCHER: I need a hug...

"Botamo inspiration?" Weiss suggests.

KOCHIN: With all their own wants and needs, and a crippling fear of death!

BOUNCY BUTCHER: So dark... And cold... (begins sobbing uncontrollably, forming a pool of tears as Bulma watches in stunned shock)

"Oh, man. Poor Blub-Blub. He was too good for this world." the lightning absorber narely on the verge of tears.

"Wow, that was dark." Blake said with worry on what she saw.

DR. WHEELO: Blub-Blub, no...

KOCHIN: Now, Freezer! Preserve the goods! (Freezer fires an icy blast at Goku which begins to envelop him)

GOKU: Wait, Freezer? Why does that sound familiar...? (the ice is shown reaching his...family 'DragonBalls') OH, GOD, IT'S LIKE THE WORST PART OF GETTING INTO A POOL TIMES A THOUSAND!!!!!!!!

"At lease he's not in Atlas." the heiress mentions.

KOCHIN: Lay the finishing blow!

(a caped figure appears)

GOKU: Thank goodness! Piccolo's here-- (the caped figure is Gohan) Oh. Hey, son.

GOHAN: Hold tight, Dad! We've got you!

GOKU: We?

(Krillin appears and lands beside Gohan)

KRILLIN: And the Krill-dog's in the houuuuu-- (gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH!!

GOHAN: (also gets electrocuted) AAAAAHHHH!! (both he and Krillin get completely frozen solid by Freezer)

"Aaand we're putting you on ice!" Yang continues with more jokes.

GOKU: (lets out a deep sigh, eyes narrowed) Kaio-ken. (breaks free of the ice with Kaio-ken and punches Freezer hard in the face and then kicks Electrocutioner before breaking his back and finally lands on the ground while holding Electrocutioner and takes a deep breath)

"Was anyone expecting a 'Kaio-what' joke." the blonde leader wanting to know and everyone else said yes.

KOCHIN: Man, your new body is gonna be wicked! Completely destroyed the Bio-Warriors.

DR. WHEELO: I just thought of something. Kochin...why didn't you give me one of THEIR bodies?

KOCHIN: Uh, hmm... I guess you're right. See, this is why you're the brains! (snickers) ...What, too cheesy?

DR. WHEELO: More insensitive.

KOCHIN: Oh, grow some thicker skin.

(Wheelo groans in frustration)

BULMA: I thought it was clever.

"Do not incourage him." Ren groaned.

(cut to Goku, Gohan, and Krillin running through a dark hall)

GOKU: Hurry, guys! We're almost there!

GOHAN: So cold... Still wet!

KRILLIN: Frostbite... So much frostbite!

GOKU: Don't worry, Krillin! The cold never killed anyone!

KRILLIN: Hypothermia would beg to differ!

(back in the main lab, where everything's dark)

DR. WHEELO: Why did you turn out the lights?

KOCHIN: To give us an air of menace!

DR. WHEELO: Why do we need menace?

KOCHIN: Shh, shh! Here he comes!

(Goku, Gohan, and Krillin arrive)

GOKU: Wow... This place sure is menacing.

BULMA: Goku!

GOKU: Bulma! Don't worry, Bulma! I'll get you out of-- (gets shocked by a force field around Bulma and gets thrown backwards)

GOHAN: Daddy!

GOKU: Ugh.. I'm gonna have nerve damage after today! (Goku, Gohan, and Krillin are shown behind the monitor) Hey, why didn't you warn me?

BULMA: I didn't know it would happen! I haven't tried to break out!

GOKU: Well, why not?

BULMA: I'm chained here!

GOKU: Well, that's sexy.

"I think we've found Goku's kink." Yang smirked at what she said while everyone else looked at her in disguist, especially her little sister.

DR. WHEELO: You mean, sexist?

KOCHIN: Well, it's a little sexy.

GOHAN: *gasps* Oh, my goodness! Is that a brain? ...Why is it the size of a Greyhound?

DR. WHEELO: The BUS?!

KOCHIN: This is the magnificent Dr. Wheelo! And we'd like to welcome you to our evil lair!

DR. WHEELO: This is neither a lair, nor is it evil! This is a laboratory! For science!

KOCHIN: Yes...evil science!

DR. WHEELO: No! Neutral science, at worst!

GOKU: I don't care what kind of science you're cooking up! I'm here for two things: to rescue my friends, and correct a mistake! "And I am all out of mistakes." Jaune referenced, I am Son Goku! And I am the world's strongest!

KOCHIN: Okay, we believe you.

GOKU: Good. Then, if you don't mind, I'ma just grab my friends, and be on my wa-- (begins screaming as he's blasted a mysterious red beam)

GOHAN: Pride cometh before the fall, eh Dad?

"Sounds like the story of Vegeta's life." Nora mentions.

KRILLIN: Come on, Gohan! It's two against-- (Piccolo appears in front of him) Huh! Three! Three against one! Ha-ha!

"Piccolo been to Kame House, eh." the Mistral champion attmepting to using a joke.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!

DR. WHEELO: Wait, how long have we had him?

KOCHIN: About a week?

DR. WHEELO: Just give me his body!

KOCHIN: Can't. No penis.

DR. WHEELO: Why do you KNOW that?! (Kochin smiles)

"Oh, Kochin. You're incorrigible!" the hammer-wielder sarcastically giggled.

GOKU: Yo, I broke out of the thingy. Oh, hey, Piccolo! Wow, your eyes are red... You been hanging around Master Roshi?

GOHAN: (runs up to Piccolo) Mr. Piccolo! (Piccolo punches him in the face)

"He really needs to learn how to dodge, doesn't he?" Pyrrha comments.

"Need I remind you he's five years old at least." Jaune counters.

GOKU: Don't you dare hit my son! ...Unless you're training right now. In which case, Gohan, get back up.

"Father of the year right here." Blake groaned.

GOHAN: Dad, I think Dr. Wheelo's controlling him!

DR. WHEELO: But I am a brain in a jar!

GOKU: So you admit it!

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please explain...

KOCHIN: KILL THEM ALL!

DR. WHEELO: WHY?!

(Piccolo comes at them, causing Krillin to immediately screams and dive out of the way. Piccolo screams for a bit and then proceeds to engage Goku in battle.)

"Just like old times, eh?" Nora comments, thinking like she knows them.

GOHAN: Stop this! You are men of science! How could you commit such atrocities?!

KOCHIN: Excuse you, mustard gas would like a word...

GOHAN: Uh, excuse YOU, solar energy has something to say!

KOCHIN: Excuse YOU, anthrax has an opinion on that!

GOHAN:Excuse YOU, penicillin would like to chime in!

KOCHIN: ...The atom bomb.

(Gohan screams and lets out a shockwave that destroys part of the laoratory)

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, stop antagonizing him!

KOCHIN: You're right. He's incredibly strong! In fact...

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, he is a child!

KOCHIN: With a penis!

"Jesus Oum." Weiss groaned at Kochin's mentioning.

DR. WHEELO: Kochin, please!

KOCHIN: You're right... I should CHECK! "REALLY!?" the white haired girl continues to groan, (fires a blast from his cane at Gohan, who deflects by screaming out another shockwave that cretes a crater around him, which causes him to slip and fall on his back) Insolent boy... He's in for such a caning... (reaches for his cane, but Krillin kicks it away)

KRILLIN: Not so tough without your cane, huh old man? (Kochin smiles and holds out his hand) Um... (the hand transforms into a gatling gun) Ah! (Kochin opens fire...with the bullets harmlessly bouncing off Krillin) Whatever happened to Launch?

"Say who now?" Everyone wondering who 'Launch' is.

(Master Roshi appears and takes out Kochin)

MASTER ROSHI: And that's for ruinin' my Sunday.

(the mind controlling device on Piccolo's head shatters, turning him back to normal)

PICCOLO: Huh?

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo!

PICCOLO: DODGE! (punches Gohan in the face)

GOHAN: (thinking; sighs) Back to normal.

DR. WHEELO: Fifty years I was alone... And when I'm finally saved from that loneliness, all I find is horror. In this form, I am powerless; doomed to witness these atrocities. "How do you see?" Ren wonders, I need a body...I WILL have a body! (breaks free from the wall with Bulma screaming in fear as his brain is revealed to be inside a mechanical body) HOW LONG HAVE I HAD THIS?!

KOCHIN: Wait, you seriously never noticed the exo-body I left for you? Did you think I'd literally just leave you in a jar? What kind of monster do you think I am? "Ya done goofed, Kochin." Nora bluntly mentioned, (Dr. Wheelo stomps the floor, sending Kochin falling down into the abyss) Fair enoooooooough!

GOKU: See? Now you got a body.

DR. WHEELO: This is not a body! This can't taste, or smell, or touch! I am a brain trapped in an exoskeleton!

PICCOLO: Well, when you think about it, aren't we all just-- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him)

"Mind-in-exoskeleton blown!" the blonde brawler commented.

"Reaaly?" Weiss dissappointed in her teammates chose of words.

DR. WHEELO: NO!

MASTER ROSHI: A Kame and a Hame and a Send-him-home-to-mommy!

GOKU, MASTER ROSHI, and KRILLIN: KA... ME... HA... ME... HA!

(all three of them fire a combined Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, which fails to scathe him)

MASTER ROSHI: Krillin, you better not have held back! (gets hit by Dr. Wheelo)

KRILLIN: Oh, come on! We both know it was Goku! (also gets hit by Dr. Wheelo) WAH!

GOKU: Yeah, it might have been me.

"Dammit Goku!" the crimsonette groaned.

BULMA: (head pops out from the table beside Krillin) Can you take me home?

GOKU: All right, everyone. Stand back. I'ma Kaio-kening. (Gohan attempts to attack with the Power Pole and gets whacked by Dr. Wheelo's tail) That means you too, Gohan.

GOHAN: (as he hits the ground off-screen) Ow...

GOKU: Kaio-ken times three! (transforms and starts charging toward Dr. Wheelo)

DR. WHEELO: Kaio-what? (Goku attacks and removes his right arm) Aah!

"Aaand there it is." the blonde leader laughed, as did everyone else.

GOKU: Ka... Me... Ha... Me.. HA! (fires a Kaio-Ken powered Kamehameha wave at Dr. Wheelo, who counters by firing a mouth blast, resulting in a beam struggle with Dr. Wheelo having an advantage) (thinking) Kaio-ken...times three... (out loud) AND A HALF! (Kamehameha wave complete engulfs Dr. Wheelo)

DR. WHEELO: AA-- (cut to an outside shot of the laboratory, with the roof blowing off) --AAAAAH! (the laboratory is shown to be completely destroyed)

GOKU: (starts catching his breath) And point...proven!

KRILLIN: Wow, that was...quicker than expected.

GOKU: Naw, he's alive up there. Plotting like the evil scientist he is.

(cut to Dr. Wheelo in outer space)

DR. WHEELO: Look at this planet. So beautiful. I'll never see it with my own eyes again... (begins sobbing in complete sadness)

"Does anyone feel bad for him?" Yang questions and they agree with her.

(cut back to the destroyed lab)

GOKU: Someone needs to kill him. And by someone...I mean the Earth! (raises both arms up)

GOHAN: Wait, this doesn't seem right...

KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Goku!

GOHAN: I'll be right back. (flies off)

KRILLIN: Yeah! Kill him, Gohan!

(back in outer space, Dr. Wheelo continues crying when Gohan appears)

GOHAN: Hey, Dr. Wheelo, I... Wait, are you crying?

DR. WHEELO: I physically can't, but I'm just so sad...

"Now I feel even more bad for him." the scythe-wielder comments.

GOHAN: You're...not really evil at all, are you?

"Gee, what made you realise that!?" Weiss aggressively, yet sarcastically, yelled.

DR. WHEELO: No... I just want a body. Fifty years alone and trapped... (continues crying)

GOHAN: Can you wait one more?

KRILLIN: It's KRILLER TI-- (Dr. Wheelo slaps him)

"It's never gonna be a thing."  the lightning absorber said.

DR. WHEELO: I mean, I guess...

GOKU: (from down on Earth) All right! Ready to kill him!

GOHAN: Dad, no, we worked it out! He's not evil!

GOKU: Oh. (is seen holding the Spirit Bomb) Well, I can't just turn this off. Maybe if I just set it down... (an exploding sound is heard and then shows Goku lying among the falling rubble) Good work, team...

(one year later, everyone has gathered around at Capsule Corp. and Shenron is summoned from the seven DragonBalls)

SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your... (sees the Z-Fighters and sighs) Okay, who died?

GOHAN: Actually, nobody. In fact, we want you to create a whole new body.

SHENRON: ...I'm listening.

GOHAN: We want you to make a human body, and put that brain inside of it.

SHENRON: Huh. Well, at least it's better than that last wish. Who summons the Eternal Dragon to melt some ice?

DR. WHEELO: Hmm...

SHENRON: Your wish is granted.

(eyes glows red and gives Dr. Wheelo a human body)

DR. WHEELO: Thank you, everyone. (shows everyone (minus Goku) giving a horrified look as it shows the crown of is head being humongous in order to fit his already large brain, which is making loud hartbeat sounds)Now I can live a normal life again.

"Good luck trying to be normal with your brain the size of your own body." Jaune said with shock across his face, like everyone elses.

("Kochin and the Brain", a parody of the Pinky & The Brain theme song by Team Four Star, plays as the ending credits roll)

♪They're Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Yes, Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Each is a genius♪
♪But one is insane♪
♪Their lair is girt by ice♪
♪Their ambitions, not nice♪
♪They're Kochin♪
♪They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Brain♪

♪They're making plans to steal♪
♪The world's strongest guy♪
♪By the ending of this spiel♪
♪One of them may just die♪
♪They're Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Yes, Kochin and the Brain♪
♪Their science seems arcane♪
♪And their practice inhumane♪
♪Attain new body lies♪
♪In Son Goku's demise♪
♪They're Kochin♪
♪They're Kochin and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain♪
♪Narf♪

(the peak of the iceberg reveals Pinky and The Brain, with The Brain inside the same exoskeleton Dr. Wheelo was in frm the movie)

"That was a..." Ruby said worry and confusion on her face, "enjoyable? Is that the right word for this?"

"More buzzar than anything else" Weiss corrected.

"So, what's the next movie called?" Pyrrha wanting to know.

"Uh, oh the 'Christmas Tree of Might', it's a Christmas special!" the crimsonette cheered on with excitement.

"But it's nowhere near December." Ren mentioned only to be ignored.

"I don't care, I'm sure that they'll have a christmas special later on down the line." Ruby comments as she prepares the next movie.

Chapter Text

[DISCLAIMER]

KAISERNEKO: The following is a non-profit fan-based parody. DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release.

(cut to Gohan, Krillin, Bulma and Oolong camping in the woods)

NARRATOR: 'Twas the week before Christmas, and upon the Earth, Krillin and Gohan were searching for a tree of great worth. They longed for a tree both tall and rare, and for some other reason, Oolong was there. And with eyes full of wonder and faces all grins, this, my dear viewers, is where our story begins.

KRILLIN: Alright guys, sleep well. We have an early morning tomorrow to search for our perfect Christmas tree!

"Why were they camping?" Weiss asked with uter confusion.

"Maybe to have a different christmas tradition." Ruby suggested.

BULMA: Hey, did anyone take care of that fire?

KRILLIN: Oolong, you got that?

OOLONG: I’m watching it.

(shows the forest being burned down as the animals flee the area)

KRILLIN: I thought you said you were watching the fire!

"Our Heroes." Blake sarcastically stated.

OOLONG: I was! It was beautiful.

"Please just make pork chops ou of him." Jaune groaned in desperation.

GOHAN: Poor animals, their Christmas is ruined now...

KRILLIN: Yeah, and now we don’t have our tree.

"Wow Krillin," Ren said in some shock, "way to priorities."

GOHAN: I wish there was something we could do for them.

KRILLIN: (a ding sound is heard) Wish? I got it! We could use the DragonBalls!

(shows a quick montage of Gohan and Krillin collecting all seven DragonBalls)

KRILLIN: We got the DragonBalls!

GOHAN: Amazing how much easier this became with time.

(Shenron gets summoned

SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your... (sees Krillin, Bulma, and Oolong) No... No way. No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!

OOLONG: It's been one year, two months, and fifteen...

SHENRON: SHUT THE HELL UP!

KRILLIN: Almighty Shenron, we called you forth to help us in this dire time! As you can see, this beautiful land full of trees and life has been burned to the ground.

SHENRON: So you want me to restore life to this desolated forest?

KRILLIN: Hell no! I want a Christmas tree!

SHENRON: ...You want...a tree.

KRILLIN: Not just any tree... The PERFECT Christmas tree!

SHENRON: ...Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'll give your tree. I'll give you THE BEST DAMN TREE YOU'VE EVER SEEN! (starts laughing sinisterly as he grants Krillin's wish)

"I can see Shenron being a villain in any future movie or season." Pyrrha stating her honest opinion.

"I mean, given the sercomstances." the Heiress adding to the Mistral champions quota.

KRILLIN: Thank you!

SHENRON: Oh, don't thank me. 'Tis the season of giving. (vanishes as the DragonBalls scatter away)

(cut to a spaceship approaching Earth)

SLAY: Turles, sir, our navigation system just changed course. We're on route to a new planet, Earth.

TURLES: Does it contain a sufficient amount of joy?

SLAY: According to our sensors, yes.

TURLES: Well then... Merry Christmas.

"Please tell me that he did not look like Goku." JNPR's leader wondering and his teammates agreed with him, even Weiss. 

("Christmas Tree of Might" appears on the screen as "Jingle Bell Rock" plays before switching to "Rock The Dragon")

(cut to Goku's house)

CHI-CHI: You are not allowed to go camping again, young man.

GOKU: (in background) We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas... On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way...

GOHAN: But Mom, Oolong's the one who burned down the forest, not me!

"Just say you are in anexpedition" Yang voice her suggestion.

CHI-CHI: I don't care whose fault it is, you need to be responsible. "Was that for Gohan or Goku?" Pyrrha questions, Remember, if you don't act like a good little boy, Santa won't bring you any presents this year. "Please, he IS the nice one in the family." Ruby said, Goku, stop that or I will deck you in the halls!

GOKU: Okay!

GOHAN: He's just gonna bring me books again...

CHI-CHI: He brings you what you like, and what do you like!?

GOHAN: I like books!

CHI-CHI: See, he brings you what you like.

"No, what he wants is you dead." the hammer-wielder voicing Gohan's inthoughts while everyone looked at her with concern.

GOKU: Well, what am I getting for Christmas?

"If it's what you like, probably food." the brawler commented.

CHI-CHI: The same thing as last year, Goku.

GOKU: Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth--?

CHI-CHI: Not in front of Gohan!

"What was he talking about Yang?" the scythe-wielder questioned her big sister.

"I'll tell you when your older."

(cut to Yamcha and Puar flying inside a car)

PUAR: Yamcha, why did you spend all your baseball money on this car instead of buying Christmas gifts for your friends?

"Cause he wants to believe that he's worth something." Weiss bluntly said with little care.

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that Yamcha has an actual career in baseball." Jaune voiced while Pyyrha and Ruby actual put some thought onto the matter.

YAMCHA: Puar, the only gift they need is the gift of Yamcha.

PUAR: ...That's a non-refundable gift, isn't it?

"Wow, you're own cat doesn't like you." Blake giggled.

YAMCHA: Just like this car.

(there's an explosion from inside the forests that sends the car flying, causing Yamcha and Puar to scream before the car explodes)

SLAY: It is time. Plant the tree. (short pause) Of might. (another short pause) The Christmas Tree of Might.

(Diaz throws the seed into an abyss)

JINGA & BERU: Oh...

JINGA: Title drop.

SLAY: Now....let the Yuletide celebrations begin.

("Deck the Halls Metal Style!" plays as the Christmas Tree of Might starts growing and destroying the city)

BOY: Mommy? (gets crushed by a car, in which a man is seen getting out and runs off)

"JESUS OUM!!!" everyone yelled as they witnessed another murder.

"Why do the movies have to be so dark like that?" Ruby gagged as she wanted to tear up from the murder.

(cut to Goku's House)

YAMCHA: So yeah, um, I'm gonna have to crash with you guys for a while.

GOKU: Ha, ha! "Crash" like your car.

YAMCHA: Yes, Goku... Like my car.

MASTER ROSHI: I can't believe the wreckage landed on your house.

YAMCHA: Neither can I. And since I put all my money into the car, I'm pretty much destituted.

GOHAN: You know, studies say that depression hits worst during the holiday season. That's why the suicide rates are so high.

YAMCHA: ...

"Ain't karma a bitch?" Nora gesjered.

"Nora, watch your language." Ren scouled.

(everyone except Yamcha and Bulma start laughing)

GOKU: Like your car.

KING KAI: (telepathically) Hey, are we laughing at Yamcha, cause I'm always up for that.

GOKU: King Kai, is that you?

KING KAI: (telepathically) I just want to call you up and wish you a Merry Christmas.

GOKU: (telepathically to King Kai on his planet) Aw shucks, King Kai. You too.

KING KAI: Yeah, also thought I'd tell you about the evil space pirates who are killing your planet.

"Bojack here?" Yang quickly wondered.

GOKU: Space in the what now?

KING KAI: You see, a group of space pirates have sought out your planet. And with it, are growing an evil, evil tree.

GOKU: How evil?

KING KAI: It's literally sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire planet.

GOKU: *gasp* That's Disney evil!

KING KAI: (telepathically) Well, that’s all from here. I'm gonna go spike the eggnog and watch Gregory get smashed. Merry Christmas!

GOKU: Alright guys, group meeting. So, it turns out someone just planted a gigantic tree...

KRILLIN: Hurray! My tree!

GOKU: ...that is sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire world!

KRILLIN: I mean, oh, no! Who would be so dastardly?

"Yes~, who would do such a thing?" Weiss rhorically questioned.

GOKU: So, my plan is we get the DragonBalls and wish it away!

"That... is a surprisingly good idea from Goku..." Pyrrha commented on how thought out this is.

KRILLIN: Uuuummmm...

GOKU: I'm kiddin'. We're gonna go blow it up!

"...Nevermind." the champion retracked.

(cut to Goku, Krillin, Yamcha, Tenshinhan, and Chiaotzu blasting the tree, which has no effect)

GOKU: Didn't work.

"Of course." the cat Faunus said.

TIEN: Damn. If we don't act soon, Christmas is going to be ruined forever.

KRILLIN: Wait a minute. Tien, Chiaotzu, what are you two doing here? Aren't you Jewish?

TIEN: (now wearing a yarmulke as Jewish music plays) Hey, I'm just trying to be culturally sensitive...you Buddhist ass!

KRILLIN: Well, happy holidays to you too.

GOKU: I think the only course of action left...is to reason with it.

"...he's getting worse, guys." Ruby noticed.

YAMCHA: Uh, Goku?

GOKU: Big tree! If you don’t leave right now, I'm gonna have to beat you up!

YAMCHA: Goku, trees can't tal--

SLAY: (off-screen) Why don't you come up here and try it?

YAMCHA: Know what? F**k it, I don't care anymore.

"Wouldn't blame him." the blonde leader comments.

(everyone flies up on the tree and confronts the villains responsible, who are chuckling evilly)

KRILLIN: Who the hell are these guys?

SLAY: We are from the planet of Misfit Minions.

REESE: Where all banished servants of Santa Claus are sent.

BERU: We were all lost, hope forsaken.

JINGA: But now Turles has given us a new chance at life.

JINGA & BERU: And at revenge!

KRILLIN: But why were you banished in the first place?

SLAY: Some of us did things...terrible things.

"Can't be worse than Vegeta." Yang scuffed.

REESE: Things that some of us regret, and some of us don't.

SLAY: Take me for example. I was but a humble mall Santa trying to bring children joy.

TIEN: So what happened?

SLAY: Well, a young child asked me for a fire truck.

GOKU: Awww!

SLAY: So I dropped one on his house.

GOKU: Awww.

JINGA: Then there was my brother and I.

BERU: We were once elves working at Santa's workshop.

"THAT'S what elves look like?" the crimsonette questioned with shock.

JINGA: Until a robot we made to aid production went out on a murderous rampage.

S.N.O.W.: Fa la la la la, la la, la DIE.

KRILLIN: Yikes. (to Reese) Wait a minute, that doesn't cover you. What'd you do?

REESE: Something so evil, I am forever on Santa’s naughty list.

YAMCHA: Geez, compared to these guys, what could you have possibly--

REESE: I raped Rudolph. (sounds of Reese laughing along with a reindeer's pained cries are heard)

"Mother of the Brothers, that's dark as hell." Nora stated as everyone agreed with her.

"Oh poor Rudolph." Ruby sounding sympathetic.

TIEN: Dibs on not fighting that guy.

"Good call." Jaune mentioned.

GOKU: We have to save Christmas, guys! Let's go!

(everyone except Goku charges at the Misfit Minions with Jinga and Beru knocking Tien and Chiaotzu out of the air)

JINGA: Jinga!

BERU: Beru!

JINGA & BERU: The great Jinga Beru Brothers!

TIEN: You mean Jingle Bell, right?

JINGA: No, Jinga...

BERU: ...and Beru!

TIEN: (slightly annoyed) Noooo... Jingle... Bell.

JINGA: Jinga!

BERU: Beru!

TIEN: (pissed) F**KING WEEABOOS!!! (uses Solar Flare to blind Jinga and Beru)

"Why was that upstting you?" Ren question Tien's thinking methods.

(cut to Krillin and Slay)

SLAY: You know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once. 'Course, he was the cancer patient; asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.

KRILLIN: Oh god, this is going exactly where I think this is, isn't it?

SLAY: So I blew him up! No more cancer!

KRILLIN: God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever! Right behind those ones that molest kids.

SLAY: ...So I'm the worst mall Santa.

KRILLIN: Oh, come on!

(cut to Yamcha using his Spirit Ball technique)

S.N.O.W.: Singing "Yamcha the Scar-Faced Bandit" (said song starts playing)

YAMCHA: Go to hell! (throws Spirit Ball at S.N.O.W., which misses) Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You. (now having trouble redirecting the Spirit Ball)

S.N.O.W.: Do you require assistance?

YAMCHA: Shut. Up. You. Cowardly. God. (Spirit Ball finally hits) YES!!! Take that, motherfu-- "Wait did Yamcha just win a proper bat-" Yang almost sounding impressed but instantly disappeared, (S.N.O.W. charges at him and rams him to the ground)

♪And if you saw this guy fight♪
♪You would even say he blows♪

S.N.O.W.: Agreed.

Some of the hunters laughed at S.N.O.W.'s agreement with his own song.

(cut to Chiaotzu flying away from Jinga)

JINGA: I'll make you pay, like the rest of them! (fires a blast at Chiaotzu)

CHIAOTZU: Aaaah! I told you, I'm not an elf, I'm just really short!

"I thought he was a Pokemon?" Jaune questioned with a reference from the first season.

JINGA: Shut up, Claus lover! (fires a barrage of blast)

CHIAOTZU: I don’t even celebrate Christmas-- Oh, my God! (gets hit)

(shows Gohan charging at Jinga)

JINGA: What the fuuuuuuuuu... (gets headbutted by Gohan)

"The power of the headbutt." the blonde bombshell joked on.

GOHAN: Did I just smash the Krampus? Oh well, where are the others? If I don't find them soon, it's gonna be too late to go caroling! (bumps into Turles) Hey Dad, what's with the getup? It's not Halloween, it's Christmas!

TURLES: Christmas? I HATE Christmas!

"And I already hate him with all of fibber of my being." the crimsonette angerly mentions.

GOHAN: You're not my dad! (Turles grabs him by the scarf)

TURLES: I hate gingerbread houses. I hate presents and toys. I hate reindeer and all of the good girls and boys. I hate the Whos down in Whoville and all of their songs. I hate their whumpets and blumpets and goobag-for-brawns. I hate carols and sleigh rides and falalalalas. But above all things else...I hate Santa Claus!

"BEAT HIS ASS GOHAN!" Ruby shouted like a madwoman.

GOHAN: Don't talk sh*t about Santa! (Turles blocks his punch)

TURLES: You're Saiyan, aren’t you? How lucky you were...to never suffer my injustice! (starts crushing Gohan's fist, causing him to scream) However, after my tree is done with this planet, you'll be left with Noël to speak of! "ITS A PUN!" Yang cheered, (chuckles until his scouter beeps) What? Who's there? (Piccolo arrives)

PICCOLO: Bitch, you look like Goku.

"Gohan's dad to the rescue! Wait..." Nora realising what she said.

TURLES: And you look like a Yoshi.

PICCOLO: I get that. Now hand over the kid.

TURLES: Oh, you want this kid?

PICCOLO: I want him.

TURLES: You want this kid?

PICCOLO: I want him.

TURLES: You want this kid?

PICCOLO: I want him!

TURLES: You want, you want?

PICCOLO: I WANT THAT KID!!! (charges at Turles, who tosses Gohan at him)

GOHAN: Hi, Mr. Piccolo!

PICCOLO: Merry Christmas. (gets blasted by Turles)

"What exactly do the Namekians celebrate?" Weiss asked curosuly.

GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo... (gets pinned to the ground by Turles' foot)

TURLES: Yeah, you're gonna stay right there. Now how 'bout I show you a little trick I learned? If I put pressure down on this part of your back... (puts more force on Gohan's back, causing him to sprout his tail) ...your tail grows back!

GOHAN: And...?

TURLES: Look! (throws a fake moon in the sky and kicks Gohan before grabbing him by the eyes, forcing him to look at the fake moon) It's the Star of Bethlehem. You know what means?

GOHAN: Jesus is born?

TURLES: Yeah, only instead of Jesus...it's a giant monkey.

GOHAN: I don't see the para-- (transforms into an Oozaru)

GOKU: Gohan! (dodges an attack by Oozaru Gohan) Aw man... If Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.

"Now this is a man with his priorities straight... I think." Jaune thought to himself.

"Hah, he really wants to get blown." Yang using her puns again.

TURLES: Now, what will you do? Son against father; father against son! In a battle to the death! (Goku cuts off Oozaru Gohan's tail, returning him back to normal and catches him) ...Well played.

"Pity the friggin' toupee stand ain't there to take lessons on Kienzan use..." the heiress mentions.

"Also, Goku stealing techniques again." the cat Faunus comments.

(cut to Goku inside a cave holding Gohan)

GOKU: It's okay, Gohan. You're safe. Now go to sleep, and in the morning, Santa will have brought all of your presents. And by presents, I mean books.

GOHAN: D-dang it. (passes out)

TURLES: Savor this moment, Kakarrot. It will be the last one you ever have with your son!

GOKU: Guh! He knows my Saiyan name... So you... must be Vegeta!

"How does that make sense?" Pyrrha questions with confusion.

TURLES: Wait, you think I'm--

GOKU: Silly Vegeta, it's not Halloween; it's Christmas! Take that costume off!

"Oh so there's another celebration similar to ours." Ren notices.

TURLES: I'm not Vegeta. I'm just another Saiyan who escaped the destruction of our planet.

GOKU: Ohhhhh. (thinking) Man, that means he's like...an evil me! Only he doesn't have a goatee. I'm gonna imagine one! (a goatee appears on Turles' face) So evil!

The hunters chuckled at Goku's wild imagination.

(Turles groans in annoyance and then cuts to him and Goku now outside on the Christmas Tree of Might)

GOKU: Now it's just down to you and me.

TURLES: Yes, me and you. Oh, and my five Misfit Minions.

GOKU: But...what about my friends?

SLAY: We all had eggnog and Christmas fudge.

GOKU: Really?

REESE: Nope! Wasted them like figgy pudding.

GOKU: YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING!!! (attacks the Misfit Minion, knocking all of them out)