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One year in their relationship and Jimin is still at awe with how beautiful Yoongi is. His pale face illuminated lightly by the sunlight streaming in from the windows, beautiful blonde locks puffed up and ruffled by sleep, and thin pink lips moving ever so slightly with every breath his lover takes. Jimin carefully extends his chubby fingers to push back the elder’s fringe.
One year in and Jimin is still at awe with how much of a light sleeper Yoongi was. He stills in his movements as he hears tiny groans from Yoongi. Jimin fights the urge to coo at his boyfriend scrunching up his nose at the sudden obstruction of his sleep.
“Hey baby. Good morning.”
Being the cuddly person that he is, Jimin squeezes and presses himself even more in the elder’s arms. Yoongi sleepily lifts his arm and wraps them around Jimin’s waist, pulling him even close. The younger smiles as he drapes an arm around Yoongi and buries his face in the elder’s neck. He breathes in the familiar scent of lavender (because Yoongi likes it when their sheets smell like lavender) and jasmine (because Jimin likes to use jasmine scented fabric softener for their clothes) and feels even more safe and at peace.
But as much as Jimin enjoys cuddling his boyfriend, he’s dead set on his mission. He pushes himself out of Yoongi’s clutches and sits up in front of the other, who still had his eyes closed and whines from the loss of contact.
“Baby, get up.”
“It’s too early.”
Yoongi’s eyes were still closed but he manages to lift his hands towards Jimin’s direction. The younger giggles and inches closer to Yoongi.
“It’s 9:30am, Yoongi.”
Even with his eyes closed, Yoongi can sense that Jimin was pouting.
“That’s Yoongi-hyung to you, brat.”
The older boy’s eyes flutter, slowly taking in the amount of sunlight peaking from their curtains. Okay, maybe he does need to get up now. God knows Jimin hates being hungry in the mornings, and God save him if doesn’t make anything that isn’t sickeningly sweet within the next 30 minutes. He wakes his limbs from his slumber with a cat-like stretch and he’s careful not to kick the pillows off the bed or shrug the blanket in his belly.
“Hyung! Get up!”
Before Yoongi’s eyes could adjust to the brightness, his hands had already grabbed his glasses from the bedside table. He lets out a yawn and maybe it sounded more like a whine. His vision finally settles on the pink haired boy sitting across him, smiling so wide his eyes are reduced to nothing but little black crescents. God, he loves this boy.
“Yes, hon?”
Yoongi sits up and leans on the headboard. He opens his arms wide as an invitation to the younger. Jimin complies but instead of lying across Yoongi, he straddles the older and sits on top of him.
“Hyung, I have a question.”
“Is it so important that you had to wake me up?”
Jimin pouts and Yoongi thinks it’s the most adorable expression Jimin makes.
“How many times did you fall in love before me?”
Yoongi wasn’t expecting Jimin to suddenly ask about his exes. They’ve never really sat and talked much about it, except for the off times that they tease each other about it. Jimin’s never really asked before and Yoongi doesn’t particularly care. So having Jimin suddenly ask this was surprising. Yoongi contemplates on his answer.
“Five. I loved five people before you.”
“Who are they?”
“Who, What, Where, When, Why.”
Jimin smiles. “Tell me more about them.”
“Who I loved is a boy one year younger than me. We were in college, enrolled in the same program Music Production. He was, and still is, a genius. We used to write and produce rap music back then. I remember we had to use this illegal downloading site where we got our samples from and one of the faculty found out about it. We almost got suspended.”
Yoongi laughs at the memory. Something that was once his source of anxiousness and worries as a broke undergraduate student was now nothing but a funny memory. Jimin’s eyes sparkled at the flashback but didn’t make a move to interrupt or ask questions.
“Yeah, he was very awkward around people but somehow we sort of clicked together. We moved to the same apartment to lessen the expenses and I swear the amount of mugs he broke in our apartment in one week was more than the amount of things I broke in our entire stay.”
“So that’s why we’re using plastic mugs.”
“Yeah. Anyways, at that time I thought of him as someone perfect for me. We had the same taste in music and our tastes complemented each other’s. Was a real smarty pants too, always kept on and on about philosophy. We made great music.”
“But?”
Yoongi smiles at Jimin. There was no pain in his words.
“But we didn’t work out. I loved him and I’m sure he loved me too. But we were never really written in the stars. He moved to the US mid-year during sophomore.”
“Hmm Hmm” Jimin sing-songs.
“What I loved was a dancer I met during college. God he was amazing. I was always so mesmerized whenever I saw him dance. We became partners for this college showcase where music majors where to pair up with other performing arts majors and well, perform. The pairing was random, but when I saw him dance, I knew it wasn’t a coincidence.”
Losing all feelings in his lower half, Yoongi nudges Jimin instead to curl up next to him, and Jimin does. He lifts himself up and places himself to Yoongi’s side, snuggling for warmth.
“If people’s personality could physically blind others, he would’ve blinded everybody. He was a pure ball of energy, always smiling, always laughing. Whenever we practiced I never felt tired at all. His passion for dancing was no joke too. We’d rehearse for a measly college showcase for hours with no end. His passion drew me in. Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep up. He was the sun and I was the moon, we were too different, I guess.”
“Where I love, ah, is in Daegu. If you ask me which city I love the most, it’s always Daegu.”
Of all his memories of past loves, Yoongi thinks this is the most heartwarming.
“Growing up in Daegu, being an underground rapper, trying to produce music was hard. My family didn’t really support me that much, but they weren’t opposed to it either. Anyways, there’s this boy I met back in high school. He said he listened to my music and he was my number one supporter. And he was. He used to go to all my rap battles and was always there cheering me on. He was a lot younger than me, I think your age? Yeah.”
“He was a wild soul, you know? We’d go out in our school field and just lay there. I’d work on my music and sometimes he’d sleep on my lap. He had weird epiphanies at times and his freedom was so alluring. I loved him in a sense that I wanted to protect him. But he was too wild for me.”
Yoongi laughs and Jimin could feel the vibrations in his soul.
“When I loved? That was so long ago. I was about in middle school and we had this vacation in Seoul. I met the most beautiful man ever. I thought he was a model or an idol trainee. He was my aunt’s neighbor and we used to hang out and play. I think he was my first love? There was just something magical about summer love, you know? But I never saw him again, even when I moved to Seoul. I think he’s a model based in Japan now.”
“Wow, that’s a high standard.” Jimin pushes himself up and sits so that he’s in front of Yoongi.
“Come on baby, don’t be jealous.”
“Why I loved, was this boy from college. Before graduating, I met a freshman. I was already finished with most of my thesis so I wasn’t that busy. I met him when I was closing up the studio I rented for my thesis. It was really late and I thought I had been the only one left. Turns out there’s this freshman stressing over his film class. Long story short, I helped score one of his short films. He kinda adopted me after that.”
“What?”
“Yeah, he adopted me as like his mentor or something. I grew to like him. There was this child like innocence he had that made me want to watch over him and make sure he was doing well. But yeah, he was too young and he looked at me like I hung the stars for him. When I graduated we lost touch. But spending time with him made me realize a lot about life.”
“Like what?”
“Back then I had been a pessimist, I was struggling a lot with my anxiety and he helped get through it.”
“Oh.”
Yoongi’s gaze shifts from the window to the pink-haired boy sitting in front of him. Gone were the sunshine smile and crescent eyes.
“Why’d you ask suddenly baby?”
Jimin shifts uncomfortably and tries to make it less obvious that he was awkward. When he asked the question, he was prepared to handle all these emotions and certainly he wasn’t expecting to get jealous. So instead of answering Yoongi’s question, he just shakes his head and hopes that his boyfriend is too sleepy to notice.
“Do you want to know which one you are?”
Jimin’s head shoots up and his eyes meet Yoongi’s. He was flashing his gummy smile and Jimin thinks the world can melt away and nothing would matter anymore.
“Who am I, hyung?”
The blonde-haired man takes his hands and intertwines them together, bringing it close to his lips to kiss.
“My, Jiminie, you’re all of them. You’re who I love, and although we don’t have the same opinions on everything, you always know how best to make it work. Love isn’t finding the person with the exact same interests, it’s about finding what works for both of us. You’re what I love. Your energy and your passion, and at the same time your softness and with you I never feel tired because you give me energy and more than that, we always find the right pace for each other. You’re where I love, because you’re my home, and I’d always feel at home with you wherever we are. You’re when I love, the thrill of summer love but with you it doesn’t matter if it’s winter or summer. Being with you is always magical and I’d never trade that for anything else. You’re my future, Jiminie. And you’re why I love. You’re the reason why I am the me today. You make look at life with more color, and you helped me realize that I can stand on my own. You’re all that and more. You're the last, my Jiminie.”