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Alp has no idea what possessed him to do it.
It’s crazy — he’s crazy. No, Joichiro’s crazy. Crazy forgetful! If she hadn’t been forgetful, she would have remembered not to leave her assignment in Alp's bag and resort to texting him about it. Then, Alp would never have been stuck in this predicament to begin with. He wouldn’t have to retrieve Joichiro's paper for her, never would have climbed in through the window of a dorm room of another academy and been in her room alone, and consequently, would never have been hit with how nice Joichiro smelled.
It’s Joichiro’s fault, really. One minute, Alp is standing in Joichiro’s room, the grade-breaking paper printout in his hand, scanning the vicinity for anything else Joichiro might’ve forgotten, and in the next, he’s fighting a strange but strong desire that’s seized him out of nowhere upon laying eyes on a familiar salmon, cotton heap that Joichiro had clearly thrown haphazardly onto her bed.
His breathing, which had already been short due to the run it took to get here, grows thinner at the sight of it. His paws, still clammy from the climb through Joichiro’s window, start sweating even more.
Later, Alp will blame the combination of his friend’s scent and being alone with it for muddling his brain and clouding his judgement. Now, with his heart pounding loud and fast in his ears, he approaches the bed and reaches a hand out for the sleeve of his favorite Joichiro sweater.
It’s something he’s never really been allowed to do. Whether the sweater is on Joichiro or just hanged on her shoulders, it’s out of bounds for Alp. After the time it took for their competitive rapping partnership to evolve into actually being best friends, Alp isn’t about to ruin it anytime soon just because he realized after that dream incident that somewhere down the line, his giddy feelings toward Joichiro somehow became something other than friend-related.
The same giddy feelings surge up again now as Alp pulls the sweater up by the sleeve. After who-knows-how-many years of wear, it’s no longer soft, but coarse and ruffled, just like its owner. With a small smile, Alp bunches it up in his hands, dips his nose into the fabric and breathes in.
The distinct, clean smell of Joichiro fills his senses, enveloping him in a shroud of pure bliss. Her scent travels with Alp’s inhale through his nose and gathers like a ball in his chest, spreading warmth throughout his entire body.
It wouldn’t hurt, would it? If he just…
A scolding voice not too unlike Cu Sith’s rings like an alarm in his head, That’s a crime! Pushing it aside, Alp takes one final glance around at the room, stuffs the sweater into his bag and hurries out the window.
Alp has been a lot of things in his life — a rapper, a breakdancer, a weirdo — but a thief has never been one of them.
Until now.
Joichiro has no idea what the hell happened. Or rather, she has no idea when the hell it happened.
The first week of November had been chilly, but mild, temperate. Consequently, she hadn’t been thinking too hard about wardrobe changes, hadn’t needed to wear extra clothes to keep warm. It’s only when the first snow day of the year springs itself upon them in the middle of the month that Joichiro, sleepy and having just awoken, finally pulls on a pair of running tights and digs through her dresser for her favorite sweater.
Still blinking the sleep out of her eyes, Joichiro yawns as she rummages through her clothes. Perhaps it’s the lethargy that comes with the beginning of winter but her head feels especially cloudy this morning. For a split second, she almost forgets what she’s looking for. It takes her another minute of staring down at the pile of clothes for her to realize why.
“Wha—?”
She shifts through her neatly folded shirts until she reaches the bottom of the drawer. It’s not there.
Huh.
Straightening up, she opens the top drawer and rifles through underwears and socks, checks under the bed, upturns her blankets, takes another round digging through both drawers again — even climbs onto her desk to look over the tops of their dressers but — she comes up short. Her salmon cotton sweater, the one she’s worn for a long time and never lost once, isn’t here.
Joichiro doesn’t understand. She is hardly a neat freak but she also doesn’t own enough stuff to properly lose.
Maybe she had left it in the club room or gym? Or the laundry room? Frowning, she thinks back to when she’d last worn it. Probably after practice sometime when the nights first started getting a little colder. Shirou had always warned her to keep warm after working up a sweat, especially in-between seasons when the weather starts changing. She hadn’t gotten sick, so she hadn’t needed to wear it much after that.
But her salmon sweater is the most comfortable to work out in when the days get cold and she’s had it forever. Where the hell could it be?
A loud buzz on her desk jolts her out of her thoughts. Walking over to it, she picks up her phone and checks the text.
Alp:
Hey hey, don’t think I'd sleep in on you just cuz it snowed!!!
see u out there! loser owes five pandayaki!!
The nuisance of being unable to find her sweater starts to melt away. With a smirk, Joichiro grabs her sports jacket instead and pulls it on, pausing only to make sure she’s got her purse and keys on her as she makes her way out of her room.
better bring some cash then, she types as she exits the building.
She’ll have time to look for the sweater later. She’s sure it’ll turn up eventually.
The sweater does not turn up.
It’s been two weeks; Joichiro has checked the laundry room, the gym, the club room, the lost and found, and has even asked her instructors for any possible clues to her sweater’s whereabouts. Unfortunately, it seems that no matter how widely she searches, the clothing item is nowhere to be found.
“You’ve had that sweater for like, a really long time.”
Alp tells her when he catches Joichiro looking around for it again.
“Maybe it’s time you get a new one?”
“Not that long actually,” Joichiro corrects. “And I don’t want a new one. That one was perfectly fine.”
“You mean you don’t want to go shopping for it.”
Alp laughs. Joichiro looks up from the pile of the entire mess and sees him leaning against the one of the lockers with his arms crossed.
“You could be of more help,” Joichiro snaps.
“Or I could get you a new one for Christmas~”
Alp beams. Something flips in Joichiro’s stomach at the sight of it.
She turns her face away from Alp and stands back up to her feet.
“I just don’t understand where it could’ve gone.”
“Eh,” Alp says, and Joichiro looks back up just in time to see him shrugging and turning away to walk out the door.
“It’ll show up eventually, I’m sure.”
Joichiro narrows her eyes. Is it just her imagination, or is Alp’s cheeks tinged slightly red?
“Race you to the Chill Blog!”
Alp calls out before breaking into a sprint down the path toward the cafe.
“Oi!” she calls out as she runs after him. “You had a head start!”
By the time they reach the Chill Blog, the two of them sweaty and out of breath, the smell of freshly brewed tea and coffee reaches her nose and reminds Joichiro of how long she'd taste one of the boba tea, driving the rest of her thoughts out of her mind.
“Ah, it's your favorite today!”
Alp says, breathing in and letting out a contented sigh. “Let’s go.”
Reaching out, he grabs onto Joichiro’s hand and pulls her forward towards the end of the line, maneuvering them wildly through customers walking in the opposite direction from them.
“S-slow down, you’ll hurt someone,” Joichiro scolds after nearly elbowing another boy.
“I’m thirsty!”
Alp exclaims, as though that excuses everything.
Alp’s grip doesn’t let up until they reach the back of the line. Alp isn’t sure if it’s just his imagination, but he swears Joichiro’s fingers linger a bit before dropping back down at her side. Even after the loss of contact, Alp’s hand still buzzes from the heat of her touch.
He’s not sure what to think when they have little moments like this. They’ve been friends and hanging around each other’s presence for long enough for him to be able to parse out the differences. Every once in a while, whether they’re out eating or just walking together whenever they bump into each other, a comfortable quiet will pass over the both of them. Whenever that happens, Joichiro will often meet his gaze and Alp will feel like something inside of him has caught fire.
But in those moments, Alp can never tell whether that charged feeling between them is mutual or just a byproduct of his own hopes and desires. It wouldn’t be the first time Alp’s misread a social situation, except in this case, being wrong would be much, much worse than accidentally offending a friend or stranger. Is it just his imagination, or is there something more beneath the surface? Given how long he and Joichiro have been friends, he’s too afraid to find out.
Although there is space to maneuver, Joichiro stays standing with their arms almost touching, even after letting go of Alp. It’s stupid, she thinks, because it takes no conscious effort for Alp to stand where she does, but after being dragged by him through the crowd of customers, Joichiro can’t help but feel like there's something crackling in the tiny space between them.
“Joichiro!” a voice cries out from somewhere to their right.
At the sound of her name, Joichiro perks up and turns towards the speaker.
“Ah — Cu Sith!” she grins and waves. “Did you try the tea already?”
And just like that, the spell is broken. Alp idles by, feeling a little out of place as Joichiro continues engaging in conversation with her friend. It's not that he's not used to how friendly Cu Sith and Joichiro are everytime they met, it's just the fact that they can get too engaged in their conversation and left him as a third wheel is what bothering Alp the most. It’s encounters like these that remind Alp he’s not Joichiro’s only friend, that Joichiro has enough room in her heart to fill a mansion of people, and he isn’t sure which part or how much of the space that he, Alp, occupies.
Midway during the talk, Cu Sith compliments Joichiro on her kindness for having lent him her book a week ago. In response, Joichiro blushes and laughs awkwardly, waving her hands to indicate it was nothing. Something painful squeezes in Alp’s chest, twisting itself into knots as he looks away in an attempt to steel himself.
Joichiro is also popular — that much Alp does know. There's nothing wrong with Joichiro being much more admirable than him. It's just the fact that her friends are getting more attention from Joichiro actually frustrates Alp.
“... love to stay and talk longer but I have to go back and finish a paper. It’s a really important one and it’s due tomorrow.”
“Oh! Okay. Good luck!” Joichiro beams at him. “See you later, then?”
“Yeah! Enjoy your evening!”
Once he‘s out of sight, Alp flits his eyes back to focus on the back of Joichiro’s head as they continue moving forward in the line, thinking. Because Joichiro is without question the one person he spends the most time with aside from Cu Sith, it’s easy to forget that she has more of a life outside of app battle or school. For Alp, it seems like Joichiro takes up every inch of his life and dreams, which begs the question: what is the nature of the space Alp occupies in Joichiro’s mansion?
As if she can feel the heat of Alp’s gaze on her head, Joichiro suddenly tilts her neck back until their eyes meet.
“You should come, by the way,” she says, before sliding further up in line.
Alp blinks. He must’ve missed something.
“Come where?”
“What — you know..” Joichiro turns around properly so she can elbow Alp in the ribs. “The sleepover. Cu Sith just mentioned it.”
“Oh, that...why would I want to go to a sleepover?”
He asks, raising both eyebrows. The one and only time he went to one, was the Picture Book Workshop, if sleeping in school still counts. He had mostly only gone in the first place out of curiosity for what Joichiro was up to and maybe just to leach a little taste of her dreams. Ok, maybe not little! But still! There is really no need for him to go to another one again.
“I dunno..” Joichiro pouts. “To hang out with me?”
“But I hang out with you everywhere else. Like almost all the time.”
He reasons. “Yeah, but…” Joichiro bites her lip.
C-cute! “What?”
Alp prompts, inwardly holding his breath.
“Gahhh, never mind,” Joichiro huffs, shaking her head. “You’re impossible.”
Alp is about to open his mouth to retort but before he can say anything, they’ve already reached the front of the line. The rhythm breaks, Joichiro changes the subject, and he’s left to wonder what she might have said.
As the weather starts to get colder, there are days Alp feels ridden with guilt.
There’s the one weekend when Joichiro had to take a laundry day instead of hanging out with Alp because after a long week her club meeting, she’d simply ran out of sweaters to prepare the night before, and had forgotten to throw her clothes in the dryer before going to bed. Disappointed in missing out on the time they could have spent together, Alp can’t help feeling the shame that follows, knowing that it’s mostly his fault this had happened.
On other mornings, when they haven’t gone out together, Alp sometimes sees Joichiro stumble into the cafeteria with a disgruntled expression, shivering under her sports jackets from then and now. She has a larger winter coat, Alp knows, but even if Joichiro had been wearing it, the guilty part of him wonders if Joichiro would be a little warmer if she was also wearing her salmon sweater underneath all those layers.
”What?” Joichiro asks when she catches Alp staring at her over breakfast one day. “Something on my face?”
Alp opens his mouth, prepared to apologize and come clean, but as usual, something makes him bite back the confession.
“Yeah.”
He says instead. Reaching out, he presses a thumb at the furrow between Joichiro’s eyebrows.
“A giant wrinkle! You look like Grumpy Baby today!”
Joichiro swats his hand away, scowling. “I stayed up late studying. I texted you about it.”
Alp grins, feeling gleeful for getting a rise out of her.
“I know.”
Joichiro continues gazing at Alp curiously, raising an eyebrow.
“You’re acting strange today,” she comments.
“Am I?”
Alp laughs nervously. Is he really being that obvious that he’s hiding something?
Joichiro narrows her eyes, then lets out a huff of exasperation. “Never mind.”
Alp’s eyes linger on her as Joichiro returns to her natto and rice. He imagines for a moment telling Joichiro about the sweater. What would she think? Would he scold him? Would she be disgusted with him? Appalled to the point of distancing herself away from Alp? The scolding would be easy to live with; after all, it’s something they do all the time. The last outcome would be the worst — Alp’s biggest fear. No matter what happened in life, losing Joichiro as a friend would always be the worst possible situation imaginable.
Moreover, how would Alp even go about telling her? Hey, so, I know this probably sounds really weird and maybe even a little creepy but, I kind of sort of borrowed your sweater — indefinitely. I just like sleeping in it. Don’t be mad, okay?
Alp sighs inwardly. This is all ridiculous — and 100% his fault. Taking the sweater had been a spur of the moment decision, but now that it’s happened, it’s a decision he can’t take back. His only option now is to roll with it. And besides, the sweater is still infused with Joichiro’s scent, though it’s more faint now than before, and sleeping in it is one of the best feelings ever. Like falling asleep to having Joichiro around his arms. It’s really, really, really nice.
The guilt doesn’t become too much of a problem until the end of November. Hoping to take off some of the edge of finishing midterms before the usual lull before finals, Alp treats himself one Friday night to one of those sleepovers that Cu Sith has invited him to. Weirdly though, Joichiro doesn’t want to come with him at all this time, so he goes alone and, at some point down the night, loses count of how many movies he’s watched.
Would the sleepover have been ten times better with Joichiro there? No doubt about it. But Alp refuses to let her absence stop him from loosening up from a long week of school. He laughs and plays games with his other friends, bumps shoulders with new ones, and ends the night by lounging on the couch, feeling his head grow steadily fuzzier and fuzzier.
Alp remembers leaving Cu Sith's room late that night, remembers stumbling with a hallmate down the path towards their dorm complex and pausing halfway then suddenly fell into a bush. He remembers feeling a fresh bout of resentment that Joichiro hadn’t come with him as he walked the rest of the way back and is certain that the sentiment had persisted all the way up until he fell asleep, but he isn’t entirely sure when or how he finds his way into his own bed to pass out in between.
It isn’t until he wakes up a few hours later that he realizes something has gone quite wrong.
His room is still dark when he comes to, so the sun hasn’t risen yet. But something about the way the faint moonlight streaming in from the window is cast against the wall feels… off. He can’t quite put his finger on it. Head still throbbing, he turns around in bed to try and hide away from the light reflecting on his face when his nose suddenly bumps up against something warm and solid.
Brows furrowing, Alp blinks his bleary eyes open and frowns. Huh? Squinting into the darkness, it takes him a full minute to realize that the warm and solid thing in front of him is not only breathing, but filling his senses with a very familiar scent…
His insides freeze up at once when the realization hits. Although several details of the night remain blurry, there is nothing, nothing in his memory at all, that can explain why Alp is currently lying in Joichiro’s bed.
As quietly and with as little movement as he can manage, Alp slides an elbow beneath his ear and lifts his head to peer over at the girl. With her usual defenses down, Joichiro looks even more beautiful when she’s asleep. Not that he never seen her sleep before, it's just that the first time he was too busy trying to get into her mind, literally. Although Alp has grown to love the expressive twist of her mouth and the perpetual frown she wears, his heart squeezes at the calm and peaceful surface Joichiro displays now, knowing that underneath all that, an intense, fervent fighting spirit full of boundless energy resided.
Fortunately for Alp, that intense spirit is still very much hidden under all those layers of sleep. Joichiro continues her slow breathing, unaware that Alp is staring down at her from her own bed.
Checking to make sure Joichiro isn’t about to wake any time soon, Alp carefully extracts himself from beneath her blanket and slips out from the foot of her bed. With minimal movement, he pushes down on the door handle, pulls it open, and tiptoes out, closing the door as softly as possible behind him.
He then proceeds to sprint the rest of the way to his campus dorm complex and into his own room.
When he gets in, letting out a sigh of relief, Alp finally climbs into his own bed and plants his face flat on his pillow. Panting heavily. How the hell did he get from Ueno and ended up in Joichiro's dorm room at Shinjuku!?
What a nightmare. And to think what would’ve happened if he’d been caught. Alp is sure Joichiro would have been horrified by this clingy idiot version of himself trying to cuddle with her in the dead of night. It’s totally creepy! Even Alp can admit that to himself. Of course, if Joichiro had been the one who had gotten sleepy and snuck into his bed, Alp wouldn’t have minded, but that’s totally different.
Taking in a deep breath, he lets out a huge sigh and tangles himself in his blankets, his head still throbbing with pain. Alp has a lot of questions for himself. How he even managed to climb in through the window in his sleepy state, for one. But most of all, why did this even happen?
A faint hint of the same scent Alp had experienced upon waking up in Joichiro’s bed fills his senses again as he turns in bed and finds his nose right up in said girl’s sweater. Disappointment swells in his chest as he hugs the sweater closer to him. Compared to sleeping right next to Joichiro, this poor, faded imitation of actually doing so quite frankly sucks. Perhaps that’s why he had somehow, without being aware of it, wriggled his way into Joichiro’s bed. Now that it’s been a few weeks of holding onto the sweater, maybe a mixture of guilt and dissatisfaction had been subconsciously weighing on his mind.
Groaning inwardly, Alp wrings his hands in his hair and bites his pillow to stop himself from releasing the loud, frustrated noise he knows he deeply wants to make. What a mess he’s landed himself in. Not for the first time, he contemplates what it would be like to just tell Joichiro the truth about how he feels.
But the friendship! a voice warns in his head.
How many more of these moments does he need to keep secret?
Alp turns back onto his pillow and stares up at the ceiling. Now, in his own bed and with his mind still buzzing with unresolved frustration, it’s a long, long while before he can drift back off to sleep.
It’s the start of December and Joichiro’s sweater still has not shown up. By the time finals week hits, however, she’s forced to throw in the towel. At this point, Joichiro has accepted the unfortunate and likely possibility that it’s officially lost and is resigned to buy herself a new one during Christmas break. There’s already too much on her plate to worry about anyway without the mysterious cloud of missing articles of clothing hanging over her thoughts.
There’s the matter of her grades, which, predictably based on her track record, mildly average. Although sometimes Shirou or Cu Sith lent a bit of a helping hand in whipping her and Alp’s study habits into better shape over the past few months of high school, putting forth more of herself into academics still continues to be a struggle. With three finals looming on the horizon, each one monumental for her grades, Joichiro finds herself rather swamped in their last week of school.
As if her school work isn’t enough to be getting along with, Alp seems to have decided in the two weeks leading up to finals to start acting strangely. Joichiro can’t quite put a finger on what’s different or why, or whether it might even just all be her imagination, but there’s a noticeable shift in the amount of contact they’ve had when they’re hanging out together. Even when they’re just studying or sitting on the benches, Alp seems to always find a way to either lean on her or grab her arm or touch her wrist. For all Joichiro knows, it probably is just her imagination, but she wishes there could be a way to tell him not to do these things if Alp wanted to keep everything between them in their friendship as normal as possible. Too often, the feeling of Alp’s hands on her back or around her waist would haunt her later when all the busyness and noise of the day falls away at night. Lying awake in bed alone, Joichiro’s brain would go into overdrive against her will, replaying the sensation of Alp’s fingertips grazing her skin and the (probably) imagined tingle of sparks that buzzes in the air between them whenever they come into contact.
Doing her best to focus on her studies, Joichiro continues to shove the intrusive thoughts away into the darker corners of her mind whenever they arise. Unfortunately, the whole ordeal seems to cast a cloudy layer of restlessness over her and she even finds it difficult to sleep as soundly as she usually does the week leading up to finals.
Only two days left, she tells herself after finishing her second exam the Wednesday before break.
As her luck would have it, her very last final is scheduled for Friday. By now, most of their dorm complex has been emptied out as students finish midway throughout the week and leave for home for the holidays. Heck, even Salomon is on his own vacation! The empty space in her room only adds to the pressure of working harder and ending the semester well. Although Alp’s final is on Thursday, he had promised to wait for Joichiro’s to be over before they start to hang out together the next day.
“You look terrible by the way.”
Alp says during lunch after they’ve made their plans.
“Pulling a lot of all-nighters this week?”
Joichiro scowls and turns away as Alp leans into her space, clearly trying to inspect her eye bags. “You could say that.”
“I’ll be done by this time tomorrow!”
He gloats, flashing all his white teeth as he beams up at Joichiro. It takes everything in her not to melt at the sight of it.
“Idiot, there’s no need to look so pleased about it!” Joichiro retorts, falling into their usual pattern of stupid, heated arguments. “Just how prepared are you anyway for that exam?”
Alp’s face blanches at once.
“D-don’t remind me.”
Joichiro smirks and returns to her food.
“Aren’t you gonna wish me luck?”
Alp nags, elbowing her in the arm — more unnecessary touching.
“Not if you didn’t work for it.”
Alp lets out a mock-surprised gasp.
“Rude! I studied so hard this past week, even Cu Sith would’ve had nothing to say about it — which means I did awesome! It’s just a lot of material, I swear!”
Joichiro snickers. “Whoever gets the worse grade on their last exam this week owes the other ice cream.”
Alp levels her with a hard, challenging glare.
“You’re on!”
He bumps shoulders with Joichiro when he picks up his tray and gets out of his seat.
“Gotta go study then!”
He announces before making a beeline for the trash cans to clear his plates. Grinning, Joichiro takes one last sip of her juice and follows suit.
Despite a tiring hours of studying with Alp after then, the sleeplessness continues to plague her that night and even carries on over to the next. Having been freed from the clutches of fall semester, Alp goes to Cu Sith's sleepover without her on Thursday after dinner, leaving Joichiro to continue studying on her own.
By midnight, Joichiro decides to call it quits. Her exam is early in the morning and Shirou used to always advise that at a certain point, getting good rest is more important than cramming any more information into one’s head. Setting aside her textbooks and lecture notes, she turns off the lights and gets into bed and does her best to try not to think of Alp.
It doesn’t work. Alp had fallen asleep on her shoulder in the library before lunch when he’d come to find Joichiro studying there after his last final. Although it’s not something that hasn’t happened before, the mounting tension Joichiro feels on her side whenever they have these little moments is starting to reach breaking point. It had been hard enough to focus on her notes knowing that Alp would be finished with his exam before her but feeling his body rise and fall with his slow breaths next to her had been the worst distraction ever.
Telling her own thoughts to kindly fuck off, Joichiro turns around onto her side and buries her face further into her pillow.
She’s not sure when she drifts off to sleep, or whether or not she’s even fully managed to do so. Her mind slips in and out between consciousness and unconsciousness so often that when Joichiro finds herself lying awake in the middle of the night, she’s not sure if she’s just woken up or still hasn’t slept yet. Feeling frustrated, she turns onto her back again—
Only for her shoulder to collide up against something solid and warm.
Joichiro’s eyes snap open at once. Heart beating fast, she twists her head slowly and squints into the darkness.
A soft fur rests at the spot right under her neck. Bewildered, Joichiro shifts a little more until her shoulder is no longer blocking the transparent beam of moonlight streaming in from the window.
She feels as though all the air in her lungs is sucked out of her when she looks down at the face before her. There — quiet, calm, and fast asleep — lies none other than Alp himself, breathing next to her.
Wha — How the hell did he—? Joichiro glances over at the window and sees that it’s mostly shut, but not quite properly so. Turning back to Alp, she mentally claps a hand to her face.
Trash panda.
A million thoughts flood her mind as she stares down at Alp's sleeping figure. Questions like, how is she supposed to sleep now? or why did Alp end up in my bed? swirl around in her brain. Did Alp mean for this to happen? Or was he just so lazy he couldn’t be bothered to walk all the way to Ueno because Joichiro’s room is easier to access? What was going on in his head when he crawled into Joichiro’s bed? Was anything going on in there at all? What did this mean? What did this mean? What did this mean?!
Before she can spiral any further, Joichiro seizes control of herself and takes a few deep breaths. Until Alp wakes up, she can’t answer any of these questions. But that still leaves the one pressing one that she actually needs to resolve right now.
What the hell is she supposed to do about Alp in her bed?
Even as the thought comes, Joichiro knows what she ought to do. To ensure that there’d be no mistake at all that she hadn’t tried to take advantage of the situation in any way, she has to leave the bed, no question about it. Sleep on the floor, or something. Anything else but this. It would feel wrong and one-sided if, after waking up to this, she stays in bed without Alp’s confirmed knowledge of it. It’s not Alp’s fault she had woken up, but the fact of the matter is that she had. Even if Alp had been oblivious enough to be unaware of what he’d done, Joichiro would never want to take advantage of that.
And if by some crazy miracle, Alp did feel the same way as her and wanted to cuddle (or more), she’d much prefer engaging in those activities with the Alp in her dreams. At least, for starters.
Careful not to wake him, Joichiro quietly extracts herself from underneath the covers and slips out of bed. She pulls the blanket up over Alp, making sure it’ll fit more snugly around him, then slides the pillow beneath the panda’s head. After ensuring Alp will be warm and comfortable, Joichiro allows herself a few moments of staring down at his sleeping form.
She can’t help the smile that tugs at her lips as she admires Alp’s peaceful face. All that energy, all that fire, still radiating from beneath the calm, still surface of sleep. How they all manage to be present simultaneously in one compact body never ceases to enthrall her.
With a sigh, Joichiro turns and walks towards the other side of the room. As eager as she is to know what’s going on in Alp’s mind, she needs as much rest as she can get. Perhaps when they wake up in the morning, they can talk through everything. The prospect of their friendship possibly shifting makes her stomach squirm with both excitement and fear. It feels as though they are on the edge of a precipice, ready to tip into something either really bad or really good. Judging by the fact that Alp has just ended up in her bed, Joichiro is privately hoping that it’ll be something really good.
Feeling much calmer for the time being and hoping her sleep doesn't get affected as she's going to use the bean bag for one night, Joichiro lies on the bean bag and waits for sleep to claim her.
The first thing Joichiro registers when she comes to in the morning is the loud, incessant beeping of her morning alarm. With a loud groan, she shoots out a hand to grab for her phone but meets only empty space and the soft fabric of a sheet. Lifting her head, she cracks open her eyes and stares down for a long moment.
This… this isn’t her bed.
Shutting her eyes, Joichiro takes a deep breath while all the memories from last night come rushing back to her.
Once she remembers, she opens her eyes and looks over at her own bed, heart pounding fast in her ears. Over on the other side of the room, the blankets are pulled back and crumpled, with nothing left behind but the lasting impression of the large body that had slept there last night.
Alp is gone.
Joichiro frowns as the alarm continues to beep loudly in the room.
Alp is gone. But why? Dread fills her stomach as the reality of the panda's absence settles in. She can’t help the nagging worry that maybe Alp wanted to flee the situation, and by extension, wanted to flee her .
Stumbling out of the bean bag, she swings over to grab her phone. After finally silencing the unremitting alarm, she checks the time.
7:28 A.M.
So much for a good night’s rest. Her final is in approximately thirty minutes and she’s just found out that Alp has disappeared without any explanation.
A mix of anger and confusion licks at the insides of her stomach. What the hell is Alp thinking? What is he playing at? Why the hell would he do this? Joichiro is just trying to do the right thing, trying to keep in mind whatever feels best for their friendship, and this is the predicament Alp leaves her in. Given how little sleep she’s had, she doesn’t have the time or energy for any of this. It’s too freaking early.
Early. Right. Maybe Alp needs time to think. Maybe he’ll text me later.
Maybe.
Joichiro looks down at the time again. 7:30. Frustrated or not, she can’t dawdle like this any longer.
Resolving to think about it later, she shoves the feelings down her throat, hurriedly gets changed, then goes to the bathroom to brush her teeth and do all the usual stuff before heading out with her school bag to get to class on time.
Although Joichiro is sure she’s done her best on the exam, thoughts of Alp continue to plague her throughout the rest of the day, hitting her even harder the moment she sets down her pen and finishes her final. Once she’s out of the classroom, she pulls out her phone and starts typing out a text to Alp.
officially done. meet at the usual spot?
Her thumb hovers over the send button. Maybe things are weird. Maybe that’s why Alp escaped while he still could. She supposes at this point, maybe things aren’t so normal between them anymore.
With a sigh, she selects the entire message and deletes it. There’s no way she can fathom what’s going on in Alp’s brain. As much as she — especially the not-so-well-rested part of her — wants to grab Alp by the shoulders and shake him for answers, she’ll have to wait for him to text first. Until he does, Joichiro heads towards the cafeteria to eat an early lunch by herself.
Still, it doesn’t stop her from wondering what the hell last night was all about. Throughout the rest of the day, there are a lot of things she thinks of texting Alp, but Joichiro can never bring herself to hit send.
what’re you doing right now
are you still sleeping
what’s the plan for tomorrow
want to go off-campus for dinner
did you get your scores yet
are you in your room
what’re you doing right now
Each time she types them out, she ends up deleting it again. She can’t tell what the hell Alp needs. Time and space to think? A direct confrontation? What is he doing and thinking right now?!
During the afternoon, Joichiro goes on a walk to take her mind off things, drops by the mostly empty room for lack of something better to do, and ends up taking a bus out into the city and loses herself in the crowd of Christmas shoppers. When dusk falls, she stops at one of her and Alp’s usual hangout spots for a meal then tries to text him again.
can i come over
With a sigh, she erases the message once more and stuffs the rest of her pandayaki into her mouth. It feels like cardboard between her teeth. As stupid as it sounds, the triumph she should be experiencing from eating five pieces of her favorite snack for a celebratory dinner doesn’t quite taste as good without Alp by her side, but her best friend still hasn’t texted her yet. Even by the time Joichiro gets back to her room, takes a shower, and lets midnight roll around, Alp doesn’t say a single peep, not even about their plans for tomorrow. They’ve already bought tickets for a movie though, so if by morning Alp still remains quiet, Joichiro figures she can just show up and meet him there.
She spends the entire evening reading a book in silence before finally deciding to go to bed and try and fall asleep.
Now, however, with her head on her pillow, lying awake in bed only prompts the questions to start haunting her again. Why did Alp do it? What was he thinking? Why hasn’t he reached out to her about anything? What was he doing now? Are they still friends? What the hell is going on? Why hasn’t he said anything? What the hell is going on?
The anger that had arisen earlier that morning suddenly flares up in her again. Flipping around in bed, she turns to face the wall, skin prickling with rage. After an entire freaking day, it’s still been radio silence from Alp. She wants to punch something. Hard. Preferably a giant sandbag with Alp’s face on it. Joichiro just doesn’t understand. They’ve been friends for so long now — best friends, even. Why would he just leave her in the dark like this when it’s something so goddamn important? If he had thought it’d been weird and wanted to cut Joichiro off, then he might as well just burn that bridge now rather than later. Anything is better than keeping her in this frustrating limbo of freaking uncertainty. All this obscurity is driving her crazy.
Joichiro turns onto her back and glares up at the ceiling.
Stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID—
Annoyed and fed up, she kicks the covers off and sits up in bed, feeling fired up. Her phone lies next to her, as still and as blank-screened as ever. As she stares down at it, Joichiro fights the urge to shout endless profanities into the night. She can’t keep checking her phone and waiting around forever. She’s been plenty patient enough. It’s time Alp owes her answers.
Without sparing another thought to her decision, Joichiro hops out of bed, pulls some sweatpants on, grabs her keys, and wrenches her door open.
Thankfully, at half-past one during the tail end of finals week, the hallway is empty and devoid of any noise or human bodies. Joichiro marches straight down towards the entrance gate and to the road leads to Ueno. Yeah, I'm gonna walk this bitchin' road in the midnight and you goddamn better be waiting at Ueno or so help me! By the time she finally reaches her destination, she climbs up to Alp's floor and fist at the ready. The second she reaches the door, she bangs on it three times, prepared to shout. It takes everything in her to not yell directly in the halls. Especially when she's in the another campus' territory.
For what feels like an eternity in her impatient state, she hears nothing on the other side of the door. Her stomach goes cold with the idea that maybe Alp had gone out without her. It’s a possibility she’s unwilling to accept right now but even as she thinks it, surely there’s no way Alp would purchase another ticket so last minute and just lose out on the money he paid for on the original one — unless he really wanted to avoid Joichiro that badly.
Right?
A sense of urgency rises in her chest and she raises her fist again, ready to knock. Before she can do so, the door handle finally starts to wobble and turn. Lowering her arm, Joichiro leans back as the door creaks open to reveal a sleepy Alp rubbing one of his eyes and squinting beneath the brightness of the hall.
“J-Joichiro?” he asks, his body still partially hidden in the darkness of his room.
Despite the rage that had flared up in her right before knocking on Alp’s door, a huge wave of relief washes over Joichiro at the sight of Alp and the sound of his voice, sleep-filled and a little higher-pitched than usual.
He’s still here. It’s more than enough to calm her a bit.
“We need to talk,” she says, charging straight into the conversation at once. “I don’t know what the hell is going on or what happened with you last night but ever since this morning, you’ve been absent and gone all day. It’s obvious you’ve been avoiding me and don’t even try to deny it! Whatever the reason, if it’s got something to do with what you—”
Joichiro cuts off and stares down at Alp as the half-asleep panda leans against the door frame. It’s clear he’s still not fully awake and possibly hasn’t registered a single word of what she’s just said, but that’s not the hang-up that distracts Joichiro from her speech.
She blinks once. Then twice. Then once again for good measure.
“Wait a minute — is that my sweater?”
As though hit with a bolt of lightning, Alp’s eyes snap open at once and he goes ramrod straight. The longer Joichiro stares at him, the more unmistakable the vision gets. Salmon, wrinkled, and trailing all the way down past Alp’s belly, her favorite super expandable, overly large sweater fits perfectly over the larger panda’s frame. It’s… incredibly adorable. But—
“How did you—”
“Goodnight, Joichiro!”
Alp shouts automatically before stepping back inside his room and slamming the door in her face.
Joichiro blinks again. So not only has Alp slipped into her bed last night, but he’s also had her sweater this entire time and has been sleeping in it?
What.
The.
Hell.
For all intents and purposes, Alp is dead.
Literally, he’s died and ascended into the afterlife and has gone to meet his maker. He is more than dead. Isn’t that what happens when someone’s soul leaves one’s body?
It’s official. Here lies Alp, Panda B-Boy, a promising young talent that would’ve surely gone on to play for the future world stage — if it weren’t for the fact that Joichiro Kujo has just murdered him on the spot.
Back against the door, his heart pounds a million miles a minute. On the other side of it, Joichiro looms near, now in the know.
This isn’t happening this isn’t happening this isn’t happening this isn’t happening—
It totally has just happened.
Joichiro has seen him. In the sweater. In her sweater. Alp could evaporate on the spot.
“Alp!” Joichiro shouts, followed by three loud bangs at his door. “Open up! I just want to talk!”
No. No no no no no no no. Talking is the very last thing Alp wants to do right now. He did not spend his entire day wandering around the city by himself to try and stave off the potential awkwardness of facing Joichiro head-on while the events of last night were still fresh only for something like this to happen in the end. He had been hoping that after all that space apart, he could simply meet back with Joichiro at the cinema for the movie and feel like everything has reverted back to normal.
Holy crap, he is so screwed.
The banging on his door starts up again, and this time, Joichiro doesn’t stop at three.
“Seriously, Alp. I’m not mad! Whatever you think I might be, it’s not that!”
The pounding finally stops again. Alp feels a soft thud on the other side of the door that presumably means that Joichiro has also just slumped up against it.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking.”
Joichiro’s voice feels nearer this time, more subdued and a little — dare he say it — pleading. It comes out like a deep, muffled sound traveling through the crack in the door by his ear, warming his heart as he stands still in the dark.
Sinking down to the floor, Alp clamps his mouth shut and buries his face in his knees. Judging by the sliding noise on the other side, Joichiro’s just done the same thing.
They sit there for a long moment, neither saying a word to each other. Alp has no idea what to do or say. His heart pounds loudly in his chest and for the first time in years, he feels too afraid to open the door and run smack dab into Joichiro’s scary presence. They’ve come a long way since that meeting during his performance and Joichiro's first time seeing it, but although Joichiro has long since stopped being scary to him, Alp still can’t stop the anxiety that rises in his stomach at the idea of facing her now.
After a few minutes, Joichiro finally speaks up again.
“Alp, please. I’m not leaving until we talk. I’ll sleep here if you don’t open up.”
That’s fine, Alp thinks. Then he can just stay stuck in his room forever until he dies. It’s a perfect plan. Good thinking, Joichiro.
“Seriously, what do I have to say to get you to open the door?”
Alp keeps his mouth shut. Even if he wanted to speak, he has no idea how to answer that. Their friendship as they know it is over and there’s no way around that. Even if Joichiro isn’t mad and does want to remain friends, Alp now knows it can never be the same again. Not after everything Joichiro’s seen.
He hears a heavy sigh from the other side.
“Okay, fine,” Joichiro huffs. “I was mad earlier, you know. Not really anymore, but I was. I was so angry I wanted to hit you. Obviously, I don’t actually want to, but you were infuriating! You can’t just not talk to me for a whole day after… you know, and not expect me to be mad.”
You know. Alp’s stomach turns to ice. It’s a whole different matter hearing Joichiro acknowledge it. Alp had spent the day off-campus in the hopes that Joichiro would just put it behind them and never talk about it. In fact, he’d been counting on it. Joichiro just sees him as a friend, right? Surely she’d just shrug it off as Alp having some sort of weird crazy night and never feel the need to speak of it again, wouldn’t she?
“I just don’t know what you need,” Joichiro continues. “I thought maybe you wanted space or something, so I gave that to you. Time isn’t an issue. I’ve already waited so long, I can wait some more. I just want to know what you’re thinking.”
Wait, what?! She says she’s “waited” ? For what? What does that mean ??
Joichiro lets out another deep sigh. “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, but at least give me something to help me understand what’s going on. Not being able to talk to you all day has been the worst.”
Not being able to talk to me is the worst?
In spite of himself, Alp finds himself smiling a little. Damn it, he really likes Joichiro. He really likes her a lot.
“Just tell me what you’re thinking. I don’t care if you’d rather not talk about it, but just tell me. ”
What Alp’s thinking? What is he thinking anyway?
“Do you at least still want to be my friend? Honestly, at this point, I think I’ll take anything.”
Yes, of course, Alp still wants to be friends! But does Joichiro want to be more?
“Alp?”
Alp hugs his knees to his chest and props his chin on them, thinking. Joichiro has basically just laid out her heart before him so Alp knows he has to say something, but he doesn’t know what he could possibly say to top what Joichiro’s just done to him. He feels strangely stripped and bare, emotionally.
“Still nothing?” Joichiro asks. There’s a thump somewhere right over Alp’s head that suggests Joichiro’s leaned her own back against the door in defeat.
Come on, Alp, say something, he urges himself, but his throat feels clogged and backed up, his mind wiped blank. Although it means more than the world to him to be able to hear all the words Joichiro’s just spoken, Alp still doesn’t know how Joichiro really feels about him. And no matter how you look at it, Alp is the one who’s constantly been found in compromising situations this past week and it’s been highly embarrassing. Especially at this moment, all of that just makes him feel ten times less inclined to come out and face her.
Joichiro sighs again. The next thing she says comes out so quietly and more mumbled than the rest of her speech, that Alp almost misses it.
“You look cute in my sweater.”
Alp’s eyes snap open. Blood rushes to his cheeks as his heart swells in his chest, pounding faster and faster until it’s about to burst.
You look cute in my sweater.
You look cute in my sweater.
You look cute in my sweater?!?!
Before he can properly think about what he’s doing, Alp is up on his feet with his paw on the door knob. Pushing the handle down, he pulls it open and hears a loud yelp as Joichiro falls onto her back with a thud.
Scrambling up to her feet, Joichiro rubs the back of her head in pain and glares up at Alp.
“Seriously?” she scowls. “ That’s what gets you to—”
“Say that again.”
Alp commands, stepping forward and staring right down into Joichiro’s face.
“W-what?” Joichiro flusters, holding a hand up to cover her face. Alp feels a stroke of courage at the visible embarrassment Joichiro displays. “Say — say what again?”
Alp almost wants to laugh but he doesn’t. Instead, he keeps his expression serious and full of challenge.
“Say that again,”
He repeats in a quiet, daring voice.
“What? No — you heard what I said, I don’t need to—”
“Say it.”
Joichiro scowls again, raising herself up, and Alp can sense that familiar rising at his challenge bubbling up to the surface.
“You are the last person that gets to make that sort of demand from me right now,” Joichiro retorts.
Feeling an immense satisfaction at his victory, Alp grips the door handle and makes to close it again.
“Okay, okay!” Joichiro yells, slamming a palm out against the door to stop Alp from closing it completely. “God, you are such trash!”
Alp raises an eyebrow, expectant.
Joichiro glowers up at him for a moment, then groans and looks away. Alp can see dark red blotches staining her cheeks.
“Ugh,” she grunts, dropping her hand back down to her side. “It was easier to say when I couldn’t see you.”
“C’ mon, Joichiro.”
Alp goads, a smile twitching at his lips.
“You said you wanted to talk.”
“I cannot believe you’re doing this to me right now,” Joichiro mutters, glaring back at him.
“Well?”
Alp says, leaning against his door frame.
With a sigh of defeat, Joichiro clenches her fists and looks at him straight in the eye.
“You look cute in my sweater. Happy?”
Alp can feel his grin growing wider and wider.
“Yeah?”
He says, taking a step closer to her.
“Anything else you wanted to talk about?”
“How about the fact that you’re a trash ?”
But even with all the insults, Alp can’t stop smiling. It feels like they’re officially back to normal. Reaching out, he grabs Joichiro by the wrists and pulls her into his room. Completely caught off guard by this, Joichiro stumbles in with a surprised look on her face right before Alp shuts the door, plunging them into darkness.
“Wha—?”
Alp walks over to his desk and switches on the lamp on his shelf.
“You were saying lots of nice things before.”
Alp says as he turns back to Joichiro.
“You should keep going~”
“What — You stole my sweater!” Joichiro throws her hands up. She gestures to all of Alp. “And you’re sleeping in it! It’s your turn to talk!”
“Never mind the minor details~”
Alp says waving a hand away. He crawls into his bed and pats at the space next to him. With a visible swallow, Joichiro follows suit.
“You like me?”
Alp questions, grinning as he watches Joichiro’s face get dark again.
“I like you, too, Joichiro-chan.”
This seems to shock Joichiro momentarily out of embarrassment.
“Y-you do?” she asks, her expression filled with wonder.
“Isn’t it obvious by now?”
Alp tilts his head with a frown.
Joichiro shrugs. “I don’t know, I didn’t want to assume.”
“Well, I do.”
Alp beams.
“A lot. Have for a while now.”
“Oh.”
Joichiro is looking down at her hands in her lap. Alp’s heart aches at the sight of it. No matter how great of an app player Joichiro is, it endears Alp to know she’ll always be a little shy and awkward about these things.
Reaching out, Alp takes one of her hands in his and interlaces their fingers. Joichiro looks up at him, barely breathing.
“You wanna know why I stole your sweater, Joichiro?”
He asks.
Joichiro narrows her eyes. “Is this a trick question?”
Alp laughs.
“No trick! But if you wanted to know, it’s because I just…
"...I didn’t think I’d ever be able to actually cuddle with you.”
Joichiro looks away, cheeks burning again.
“S-stupid,” she mutters. “You could’ve just asked.”
Alp shakes his head.
“Well, now I know. But before, I didn’t want to risk it. If we ever stopped being friends for whatever reason, that would’ve been the worst.”
Joichiro strokes Alp’s paw with a thumb, mulling his words over.
“Well I guess it doesn’t matter now,” she mumbles, looking down at their intertwined hands.
“Nope, I guess it doesn’t.”
Alp grins. He falls back onto his pillow, pulling Joichiro down next to him. Joichiro is warm and small around him as she drapes an arm over Alp’s shoulder. Wriggling closer, Alp plants his nose in Joichiro’s chest and lets out a contented sigh.
If Alp had thought sleeping in Joichiro’s super expandable sweater had been amazing before, it’s nothing now compared to this. With his thick arms wrapped around Joichiro’s torso, legs tangled in between hers, and face buried in her warm chest, through which Alp can hear Joichiro’s nervous heart beating fast, the act of merely sleeping in her clothes is pretty awesome but doesn’t even begin to come close to how amazing this feels.
“I’m sorry I avoided you all day.”
Alp finally says into her shirt.
“And for stealing your clothes.”
Joichiro snorts but brings a hand up to run her fingers through Alp’s hair.
“You’re trash, what else is new?”
“Mean, Joichiro!”
Alp says, lifting his head up from her chest to stick his tongue out at her.
“I’m apologizing, dummy.”
Joichiro smiles. From the dim glow of the lamp behind them, Alp can see the steady darkening of her eyes.
“You can keep the sweater, you baby.”
She murmurs before leaning in and kissing him on the corner of his lips.
Alp blinks up at her, eyes wide with surprise. His skin buzzes with the ghostly impression of Joichiro’s mouth brushing against his and he can no longer rest until he feels more.
He had been wrong. Sleeping in Joichiro’s sweater, cuddling — they both fall away as he grabs Joichiro’s back and pulls her in for a deeper kiss. This is it. This is the most amazing feeling in the world. But if stealing her sweater is what it had taken to get here, then — well.
Being a thief just this one time? Totally worth every bit of it.
"I-I like you, Joichiro! I'd like to be with you forever! Therefore, I want to spend more time with you in this dream--no...whether it's in the reality or a dream, hopefully, we will always be together!"