Work Text:
“I’m sorry. There was just someone else more suited for the job.”
Yoongi ends the call without bothering to express his nonexistent thanks. His hands are clammy as he drops his phone to the floor, falling back onto the bed and letting out a groan.
More suited, they had said. Better qualifications. Better personality. Better… everything.
After all, Yoongi is just, well, Yoongi. There’s nothing special about his minimal degree. He was a fool to think he can land a well-paying job in the middle of New York City, where everyone is high and mighty and knows what the fuck they’re doing.
The apartment he landed for himself was small, yet comfortable. He doesn’t think a twenty-eight year old really needs more than this, so he’s fine with it. As a child he dreamed about moving to the big city and getting a fresh start away from his home country. His dream became a reality, but he does have to ask himself: At what cost?
He supposes it would be easier to land a job with actual experience. He’s in his third year out of school and he still hasn’t managed to make a name for himself. It’s depressing at times, but he supposes this is just his fate.
With a sigh, he clicks into his messaging app.
[9:24] Yoongi: didn’t get it
[9:25] Jimin: it’s ok. that’s ok
[9:25] Jimin: there are plenty of other opportunities out there hyung. you’ll find something for yourself soon
[9:25] Yoongi: i don’t want to work an office job, jimin. i want to create music
[9:25] Jimin: and you will get to. it just might take some time
[9:26] Jimin: do you want me to come over?
[9:28] Yoongi: yes
The thing about Jimin is that he’s too… good. In every aspect.
It’s something Yoongi envies a bit. Jimin is kind and caring, with the most perfect aspects of personality swirled together into one single human being. Yoongi just feels lucky that Jimin decided to consider someone like himself best friend material.
“Hey, hyung,” Jimin says as he enters through the front door.
The two of them had met in their first few years of university. The younger had approached Yoongi and spoke a few words of broken English in a heavy Korean accent, which was enough for Yoongi to laugh and shake his head, responding in their native language with ease.
Jimin quickly warmed up to him, as did Yoongi.
Yoongi’s sitting on the floor, his head in his hands and his toes rapping quickly on the carpet. Jimin bends down next to him, reaching his hand out and gently poking his cheek.
“Stop moping around, stupidhead,” he says, and Yoongi doesn’t even have to see him to know he’s rolling his eyes. “We’ve got an entire day ahead of us! Let’s go out and do something fun, yeah?”
“Like what,” Yoongi groans, perfectly content with just sitting around and doing nothing. He looks up at Jimin for the first time, his lips drawn into a pout. Jimin’s staring down at him, giving him the look. Yoongi sighs. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“I’ll look at you however I want to, thank you very much,” Jimin says, grabbing Yoongi’s arms and trying his best to hoist his body up. It does help that Yoongi isn’t that large—just around Jimin’s height.
“Kinky,” Yoongi deadpans.
Jimin swats him. “Shut up.” He drags the elder to the kitchen, pushing him on top of the counter and waiting for Yoongi to make himself comfortable. Yoongi cowers under Jimin’s hard gaze, but ends up complying nevertheless. “Now,” Jimin begins, “what would you like for breakfast?”
“I already ate,” Yoongi tries weakly.
“You and I both know that’s a lie,” Jimin retorts with a snort. Yoongi watches as he rummages around the cupboards, finally finding a lonely box of cereal from two weeks ago. “Delicious,” he says, eyeing the box.
“That’s my least favorite kind of cereal.”
“Well then,” Jimin says, “I suppose you’ll just have to suck it up and swallow it down.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Yes you are.”
“You can’t speak for me.”
“I can do whatever I want.”
“I hate you,” Yoongi sighs, grudgingly accepting the bowl full of cold milk. Jimin dumps in a handful of the cereal and then tosses him a spoon.
“I hate you too,” Jimin says, hoisting himself up onto the counter so he’s sitting next to Yoongi with their thighs pressed together. It’s a comforting gesture, and Yoongi knows it.
“You don’t,” Yoongi says, spooning the breakfast into his mouth and not even bothering to act surprised at the sudden feeling of warmth in his chest. He really does love his best friend, though he’ll never say that out loud.
“You’re right,” Jimin grins, his eyes sparkling as he watches Yoongi scarf down the food. “But, hyung, I’m serious. I think it’ll do you some good to get out of your apartment for a while. I know a few places around the city we still haven’t been to. There’s a really nice cafe that opened a few weeks ago and Tae and I have been dying to check it out!”
“You keep your outings with Taehyung to yourself,” Yoongi tuts.
“Jealous?” Jimin teases, bumping their shoulders together.
“You wish,” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “But sure. Fine, okay. We can do something today.”
“That’s what I thought,” Jimin smirks. “Do you have anything in mind? Should I invite Tae along too, or just the two of us?”
“You can do whatever you want,” Yoongi says. “I don’t really care.”
Jimin eyes him carefully, his gaze raking from the top of Yoongi’s head to the tips of his toes dangling off of the counter.
“Alright,” he agrees easily. “I think Taehyung said he needed to do something today. So, I guess it’ll just be us two. Don’t feel too bad.”
Curse Jimin and his way of being able to see right through him.
Yoongi gets ready fairly quickly, giving Jimin just enough time to gather his things together. Yoongi comes out of the bathroom, fresh from his shower, only to see Jimin lazing on his couch smiling at something on his phone.
“Boyfriend on the other end?” he asks. “Oh, wait,” he smirks, “I forgot. You don’t have one.”
Jimin looks up at him, his eyes narrowing. “You know, Min Yoongi, one day I am going to get a boyfriend. That is the day you will lose.”
“Sure,” Yoongi grins, and the two of them make their way to the front door and head out.
The street Jimin takes him to is lined with bustling shops and restaurants, the epitome of a lively city scene. Yoongi grimaces at the loud honking of passing taxis and cars, shuddering against the cool autumn breeze. He’ll never get used to New England weather. He’s just accepted it as a fact.
“This way,” Jimin says, interlocking their fingers and pulling him along. “I’ll buy you a waffle.”
“A waffle,” Yoongi repeats.
“This waffle stand at the end of the road sells amazing belgian waffles,” Jimin explains, his blonde hair bouncing in excitement. “You’ll love them, hyung!”
“Can’t I just go to Belgium for that,” Yoongi asks.
“Well, you’re in New York City now,” Jimin says. “I guess you’ll just have to make do.”
“That’s sad,” Yoongi says. “I deserve authenticity.”
“We all deserve a lot of things in life, hyung,” Jimin laughs, shaking his head as they approach a crowded food stall. “Like me, for example. I deserve new dance shoes. Do I get them? No. Because I’m a broke grad student.”
“You’re fine,” Yoongi grunts, mentally putting new shoes on his list of possible birthday gifts to buy Jimin.
There’s a sudden tap on his shoulder, and Yoongi turns around to see a taller boy in blue jeans and a navy jacket looking down at him with a calm look. Yoongi’s eyes widen at the sudden proximity between the two, but his heart rate quickly goes back down to normal when the boy begins to speak.
“I’m sorry,” he begins in Korean, “but do you know how to get to the nearest bus stop from here?”
Yoongi presses his lips into a thin line as he tries to recall his surroundings.
“Uh,” Yoongi says, pointing off to the side, “I’m pretty sure there’s one a few blocks down from here. Just keep going straight?” The boy is staring at him, more specifically, he’s staring at Yoongi’s lips. It makes him a bit self-conscious, but everyone has their quirks, he supposes.
“Yeah!” Jimin interrupts, shooting the stranger a wide smile. Now he’s staring at Jimin’s lips. “Just keep going straight that way and turn left once you see a giant red stop sign.”
“Oh,” the boy says with a nod. “So, I, keep going straight and then go left? When I see a…”
Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow in confusion and he shoots Jimin a glance. Jimin, however, seems to be realizing something as he looks upon the taller boy.
“Ohhh,” he breathes, his eyes widening as he shoots the boy an apologetic smile. “Sorry. Let me…”
Yoongi goes completely still when Jimin begins to make movements with his hands quickly, his head jutting over to the street Yoongi had pointed out before.
The boy seems to visibly brighten at Jimin’s gesticulations, making his own in return before nodding and bowing and heading off in the direction of the bus stop. “Thank you!” he calls over his shoulder.
“What,” Yoongi asks once he’s gone, thoroughly confused. He turns to Jimin. “Was that sign language?”
“Yeah,” Jimin nods. “Didn’t you notice? He was trying to read our lips.” He hums. “Actually, he was pretty good at it. He got the majority of what we were trying to say on the first try.”
“Oh,” Yoongi says dumbly.
“His name is Jeongguk,” Jimin supplies.
Yoongi blanches at that. “You talked to him for barely a minute and you already got a name?”
“I was being friendly!” Jimin rebukes. “I told him my name and he told me his. Hey, maybe we’ll run into him again. Who knows.”
“The city is pretty big, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi says, “so I really doubt that. But okay. Where did you even learn KSL?”
“I took a two year course during high school. My older cousin is also deaf, so I wanted to be able to communicate with her without her having to read my lips all the time. I thought it would make her more comfortable talking to me.”
“That’s sweet,” Yoongi nods.
“Anyway!” Jimin says, turning back to the waffle stand. “What kind would you like? I personally recommend the strawberry cheesecake. Or the double chocolate palooza. The marshmallow sprinkles one is good too.”
“How about,” Yoongi says, glancing over the menu, “plain.”
Jimin blinks. “Plain?”
“No I’m kidding,” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I want that mint chocolate chip thing,”
“I knew you were going to get that one,” Jimin sighs. “And I here I was thinking you’d be interested in maybe expanding your horizons.”
“Never,” Yoongi says with an amused smile.
-
[00:16] Seokjin: yoongi, drop by the studio tomorrow at around noon
[00:32] Yoongi: why? what’s up?
[00:34] Seokjin: i may have put in a good word for you to my boss
[00:34] Yoongi: shit, hyung
[00:34] Yoongi: you didn’t have to
[00:36] Seokjin: please. i’ve been trying to get him to give you a chance for ages. i played him one of the tracks you produced for me back in college and he finally decided to listen to me
[00:39] Yoongi: thank you. i mean it.
[00:40] Seokjin: i’ll treat you to lunch after.
[00:40] Yoongi: no. it’s on me
[00:41] Seokjin: you can cover it next time, kay? let me do this for you
[00:42] Yoongi: you’ve done a lot already. please?
[00:42] Seokjin: something tells me you’re not going to let up till i agree. okay fine. next time it’s all on me, okay?
[00:47] Yoongi: deal
-
“Took you long enough,” Seokjin grins as Yoongi enters through the front doors of the recording studio.
Yoongi sighs. “Hey, hyung. You said noon.”
“I did,” Seokjin grins. “There are a few new singers joining the company. There’s one that’s especially cool that I’d really like you to meet.”
“Really?” Yoongi asks. He tends to forget how Seokjin values his opinion, even though Yoongi himself is not a part of this record company. Seokjin works in a high position in New York’s branch of an entertainment company originally based in South Korea—here they recruit singers and dancers off the streets and through tough audition routines and pick out the best of the best before training them for a couple months and then sending them off to the larger branch in Asia.
“Sure,” Seokjin nods. “I guarantee that you will be impressed. I know I was.”
“And we all know how hard it is for that to happen.”
Seokjin snorts. “Hey,” he shakes his head. “Shut up.”
He leads him deeper into the heart of the building. “My boss will be here at around one. Until then, I can show you around and then also introduce you to the trainees.”
“You’re acting as if I’ve already gotten the job,” Yoongi says.
“That’s because you pretty much have,” Seokjin replies. “I know it’s hard to believe, but you’re pretty good at what you do!”
“Of course I am,” Yoongi says.
“Hey.”
Yoongi grins. “Anyway. Show me to the trainees, then!”
They end up, quite literally, bumping into one them on their way up to the second floor. Yoongi stumbles to the ground but quickly regains himself, blinking his eyes rapidly as he looks for the other person he had just knocked over.
The person’s back is facing him, and Yoongi quickly gets up and goes over.
“Hey. Hey, you okay? Sorry. I didn’t look where I was going.”
The guy on the floor doesn’t respond, but shakes his head rapidly before hoisting himself back up to his feet, turning around and making eye contact with Yoongi.
Yoongi gasps.
“You!”
The guy blinks back his surprise. “Oh. The person who I got directions from yesterday?”
Yoongi nods slowly. “I… yeah. Yeah, that’s me. Jeongguk, right?”
“Yeah I’m Jeongguk,” Jeongguk nods and bows lightly.
“Wait,” Seokjin says from where he’s standing behind Jeongguk. Yoongi looks over his shoulder and staggers a bit when he notices Jeongguk is still looking at him. He mentally hits himself for almost forgetting a very important key factor in all of this.
Yoongi points behind Jeongguk, making the boy’s eyes widen. He turns around as well so he can comfortably see Seokjin.
“You two already know each other?” Seokjin asks.
There’s a small pause before Jeongguk is speaking again, “I was out yesterday and asked him for directions.”
Jeongguk turns to Yoongi, training his eyes on his lips.
“Yoongi,” Yoongi supplies.
Jeongguk’s eyes narrow. “Yoongi?”
Yoongi nods. “Yes. Yoongi.”
Jeongguk’s cheeks flush. “Oh. Okay, thank you. Are you my hyung?”
“Uh…” Yoongi trials off, but sees Seokjin nodding to the side. “Yes. Yes, I’m your hyung.” Seokjin also holds up four fingers. Four years older?
“Yoongi-yah, this is the special singer I was telling you about,” Seokjin says then. “Jeon Jeongguk. He’s deaf but sings like an absolute angel.”
Yoongi’s eyes slowly widen as he looks upon Jeongguk, and Jeongguk, who seems to be sensing the gist of the situation, grins brightly and waves at him. Yoongi gulps. Truth be told, Jeongguk does seem like the type to be a singer.
He supposes it’s his… aura.
“I see,” he says slowly. “You sing, kid?”
“Lalalala,” Jeongguk says in a sing-song voice.
Yoongi nods. “That was brilliant.”
“Thank you,” Jeongguk laughs. It’s a nice laugh. A laugh that Yoongi can see would belong to someone who sings beautifully.
“I should get going. Bossman will be here in a few, Yoongi. I’ll come and get you when he’s ready for you,” Seokjin calls over his shoulder as he begins to walk away.
“Thanks, hyung!” Yoongi yells after him.
“You know,” Jeongguk starts, his voice faltering a bit. Yoongi glances at him. “I’ve been singing for a really long time. I was just minding my own business walking on the road one day when Seokjin-hyung came up to me and started making really weird faces at me and his lips were moving so quickly.”
Yoongi snorts. “Yes, he does do that when he’s excited.”
“I couldn’t catch a single word he was saying,” Jeongguk shakes his head. “Something about me being… pretty?”
Yoongi involuntarily runs his tongue across his bottom lip.
“Anyways, it didn’t take long for me to realize I was being street casted,” Jeongguk continues. “I told him I… I can’t hear things. But he didn’t really care? It was comforting.”
“Why are you telling me all of this?” Yoongi asks. Jeongguk’s eyes narrow.
“Say it again?”
“I said,” Yoongi says, “why are you telling me all of this? I’m a stranger.”
Jeongguk hums. “I don’t know, to be honest. Is that a good enough answer?”
Yoongi shakes his head.
“You’ll just have to accept it,” Jeongguk says with a shrug.
Yoongi sighs.
-
[16:03] Yoongi: i got the job
[16:03] Jimin: FUCKING HELL HYUNG
[16:04] Jimin: CONGRATAFUCKINGLATIONS
[16:06] Yoongi: you are horrible. but thank you
[16:06] Jimin: WE HAVE TO CELEBRATE
[16:06] Jimin: I NEED TO TAKE YOU OUT FOR DINNER TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
[16:08] Yoongi: no
[16:08] Yoongi: i promised to go out with a few of my coworkers tonight
[16:10] Jimin: “coworkers” you’re already being annoying about this
[16:11] Yoongi: of course. i am now an employed man, park jimin. i must live up to my new title
[16:11] Yoongi: also
[16:12] Yoongi: remember that person we gave directions to? jeongguk? he works in my company as a singer
[16:15] Jimin: are you fucking serious
[16:16] Yoongi: yeah. he seems nice
[16:20] Jimin: $20 you’re gonna fall in love with him
[16:20] Yoongi: that’s really funny
[16:21] Jimin: i’m joking, hyung. it’s just a small world
[16:32] Yoongi: yeah
[16:32] Yoongi: yeah it is
-
Yoongi’s “coworkers” are… much nicer than what Yoongi was expecting, if he’s being completely 100% honest.
There’s Seokjin, of course. He already knows Seokjin.
There’s Kim Namjoon, one of the other producers Yoongi will now be working closely beside. Namjoon seems like a pretty put-together guy, in Yoongi’s opinion. It’s almost as if nothing will break him.
There’s Jung Hoseok, yet another producer who Yoongi will also be working with. Hoseok is a bright individual, but Yoongi can tell from the second he meets him that the man can be serious when he wants to be. He radiates a comforting feeling.
They also invite Jeongguk along, considering he was already close with the others and was now familiar with Yoongi. Jeongguk suggests dinner and noraebang, which is fitting considering what all of them do.
Yoongi agrees to the plan. He doesn’t mind singing for fun.
They order snacking foods to begin with and settle into their private room. Namjoon immediately goes over to the television to make a playlist for the group while Yoongi takes a seat. Jeongguk quickly sits down next to him and Hoseok goes on his other side. Seokjin sits next to Hoseok and passes all of them their respective microphones.
“So, who here can sing?” he asks, his eyes glinting mischievously.
“Jeongguk,” all of them chorus at once.
Yoongi glances over to Jeongguk to see him looking at something on his phone. He smiles.
“You can sing too, hyung,” Hoseok says, elbowing Seokjin.
“If I could sing I’d be signed with the company. Not just be the manager,” Seokjin rolls his eyes.
“You can totally sing,” Yoongi refutes. “Shut the fuck up. I’ve heard you before.”
“We all have,” Namjoon laughs. “And I agree. Jin-hyung has a lovely voice. He and Jeongguk both.” He dims the light, taking his own seat as the first song plays. He taps Jeongguk’s shoulder, catching the younger’s attention. Namjoon points over to the screen, and Jeongguk nods. “Jeonggukkie has agreed to go first,” he announces.
Yoongi leans back, getting comfortable.
The little marker on the screen arrives underneath the first word of the song, and Yoongi watches as Jeongguk takes a deep breath and delivers the note.
Yoongi’s breath hitches.
“Holy shit,” he says out loud without thinking, making Seokjin, Hoseok, and Namjoon laugh. Jeongguk’s eyes are firmly on the screen as he concentrates on singing the song. His palm is tapping on his thigh, keeping the beat steady. His foot is tapping in a similar fashion against the floor.
“Yeah,” Hoseok whispers, just loud enough for them to hear without drowning out Jeongguk’s voice. “He’s… amazing. The first time I heard his voice I was in heaven for days.”
“It’s beautiful,” Yoongi agrees, his lips parting. “How does he…?”
“Look at his hands and legs,” Namjoon says, pointing over to the youngest. “He’s keeping the beat. I talked to him about it. He can sense the vibrations of the music and listen to it through that. It’s how he enjoys any type of music.”
“It’s incredible,” Seokjin says. “He’s incredible, our Jeonggukkie. He’s only been in the company for about a month but he’s already made his place.”
When Jeongguk finishes, the others clap for him. Jeongguk looks over to them to see them grinning and clapping wildly, and he laughs and takes a low bow.
“Thank you!” he flushes, his grin bright enough to make the dim lighting of the room completely disappear. “Thank you! Thank you!”
Hoseok decides to go next, and Jeongguk settles back into his seat.
Yoongi takes the opportunity to pat Jeongguk’s back gently, catching his attention and making him smile down at him.
“That was amazing,” Yoongi says quietly.
Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow. “Ah, hyung, do you know how to sign?” he asks. “It’s just… it’s a little dark in here and it’s hard for me to see your lips.”
“Oh,” Yoongi says, startled. He shakes his head, feeling guilt creeping up at the back of his spine. He did learn some sign language as a child, but it’s not enough for him to hold a steady conversation, unfortunately. He feels the sudden urge to take up lessons again. Maybe he’ll ask Jimin to help him out.
“That’s okay,” Jeongguk says, taking out his phone. He presses his screen a few times before he hands it to Yoongi.
Open is an empty contact page, and Yoongi smiles. He enters in his number and passes it to Jeongguk. He watches as he sets his name to yoongi hyung! next to a waffle emoji and a bear emoji.
Yoongi furrows his eyebrows as he gets a text.
[19:45] Unknown:
hi hyung :D
[19:45] Yoongi: what’s with the mic and the bear ?
[19:45] Jeongguk: oh!! waffle bc we met at a waffle stand and bear bc . idk. u remind me of a bear!!
[19:45] Yoongi: a… bear
[19:46] Yoongi:
i’ve gotten a cat and even a mouse before. never a bear
Yoongi glances up to see Jeongguk giving him a look. Jeongguk reaches his hands out and wraps them around Yoongi’s face till he’s holding it in his palms. He squishes up, and Yoongi’s eyes narrow in confusion.
Jeongguk then frees one of his hands and quickly picks up his phone, snapping a picture of Yoongi’s face.
He laughs and shows Yoongi.
“See? Bear.”
Yoongi takes his phone again with an eye roll.
[19:49] Yoongi: that is so stupid
[19:49] Jeongguk: i’m setting it as your contact picture!
[19:50] Yoongi: jeon jeongguk you wouldn’t dare
[19:50] Jeongguk:
hehehe too late ^__^
Yoongi sighs. He opens his camera app and holds it up to Jeongguk’s face.
“Smile,” he mouths, and although he knows Jeongguk didn’t even see him, the younger still pulls his lips up into an easy grin. He holds up a peace sign to his eye and closes them.
Yoongi eyes the picture, nodding in approval before setting it to Jeongguk’s contact.
[19:52] Yoongi: this is unfair
[19:52] Yoongi: the pic i have for you makes you look amazing and the pic you have for me makes me look like a gremlin
[19:53] Jeongguk: aww i think you look cute!!
[19:53] Yoongi: no
[19:53] Yoongi: you and jimin would get along well
[19:54] Jeongguk: oh!! your friend from yesterday? jimin-hyung?
[19:54] Yoongi: you two were literally talking for barely thirty seconds how do you know he’s your hyung too
[19:54] Jeongguk: he told me!
[19:54] Yoongi: impossible. you two are impossible. which is exactly i know for a fact that you’ll get along
[19:54] Jeongguk: u should set us up ;)
[19:54] Jeongguk: not in a weird way
[19:55] Yoongi: i don’t know the wink face make it kind of weird
[19:55] Jeongguk: shut up
-
“My roommate hates the whole texting thing,” Jeongguk says later that night, when he and Yoongi are the only ones left in the group still roaming around the streets. If there is one thing Yoongi loves about the city, it’s that it never sleeps. He could go out at three in the morning and the lights would still be glimmering with people crowding the roads.
“Oh?” Yoongi asks.
“He tells me he’d rather I catch absolutely none of what he’s saying than having to communicate through messaging,” Jeongguk explains. He’s looking straight at Yoongi as they walk, and if anything, Yoongi is just glad they’re not on one of the main roads.
“I mean,” he says, “I guess it… kind of makes sense?”
Jeongguk nods. “Lip reading is of course harder than just texting or passing notes, but I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. I can now comfortably understand up to, like, fifty percent of whatever the person I’m talking to is saying.”
Yoongi pauses. “Fifty percent? But you seem really good.”
“I can pick up the rest from context clues and body language,” Jeongguk supplies. “It’s… honestly like another language. A language in a language. That’s what he says.”
“Who?”
“My roommate. Taehyung. He’s my best friend too.”
Yoongi stops. “Oh… small world.”
Jeongguk quirks an eyebrow. “What?”
“You wouldn’t happen to be talking about Kim Taehyung, would you?”
Jeongguk mouths Kim Taehyung, before his eyes widen and he brightens up immediately. “You know Taehyungie-hyung? How do you know him?”
“Jimin,” Yoongi says. He knows it’s enough.
“Oh my—” Jeongguk begins, “Why didn’t I put the pieces together? You’re right! I knew Jimin’s name sounded familiar.”
Yoongi nods, an easy smile adorning his face. “Are you sleepy?”
“Sleepy?” Jeongguk asks. “No? It’s barely nine. Why?”
“Hungry, then?” Yoongi asks.
“We just ate dinner, hyung.”
“Coffee it is!” Yoongi says, his smile widening as he leads Jeongguk inside the shop they had very abruptly stopped in front of. Jeongguk is giving him one of his confused nose scrunches, but Yoongi ignores it, instead pushing him over to one of the tables.
“Coffee? At night? Will you be able to sleep?”
“I sleep late,” Yoongi responds. “The coffee in my system will help me feel less like death tomorrow morning, if anything.”
“If you’re sure.”
Yoongi watches as Jeongguk retrieves a notebook and two pens from the bag he’s been carrying around the entire night. He sets them down and hands Yoongi one of the pens, opening to an empty page before running the tip of his own pen across the page.
He reveals the drawing after about a minute.
“Bear,” Jeongguk says quietly.
“Do you just…” Yoongi starts, looking directly at him, “randomly keep a drawing pad with you so you can draw people animals that they remind you of?”
“I use the notebook for communicating if I can’t understand someone or if there are, like, unique circumstances or something,” Jeongguk explains. “I’m not weird.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Yoongi says, his head hanging low so he can stare at the drawing.
“What’s that?” Jeongguk asks, bending his neck so that he can kind of see Yoongi’s face.
Yoongi shakes his head, looking up again. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
Jeongguk smiles. “You know, hyung, I’ve only known you for like, a day, but I already know your speaking style. It makes reading your lips easier.”
Yoongi blinks. “What?”
“You don’t open your mouth a lot,” Jeongguk says, and Yoongi frowns. “That’s not a bad thing! Sometimes it’s harder for me if you don’t open it as much but… it hasn’t really been a problem so far. You really articulate everything you say, even if you don’t realize it.”
“What does that even mean,” Yoongi asks, suddenly feeling self conscious.
Jeongguk shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just something I’ve noticed.”
Jeongguk notices a lot of things, Yoongi realizes. He was pretty quiet when they were with the bigger group, but he’s quite talkative if you speak with him one on one. He’s kind of, well, he’s kind of like Yoongi himself. Quiet, but loud at the same time.
They talk for a bit. Yoongi learns that Jeongguk’s favorite drink is banana milk, but only the store bought kind. Jeongguk’s favorite color is red. Jeongguk’s likes to play video games till late at night and sometimes for so long that he finds that it’s already morning when he’s done. Jeongguk went to high school in South Korea but moved to America for university. Jeongguk was a dance major in college with a vocal minor. Jeongguk has an older brother who is around Jimin’s age.
What makes it work is that Yoongi is a listener. He doesn’t mind Jeongguk talking for almost a hour straight, telling him stories about his childhood and his time in university. Sometimes he does speak and contribute to the conversation, and when he does Jeongguk welcomes it with open arms. There are a few instances when Jeongguk has to ask Yoongi to repeat something, but they make it work.
Yoongi gets back to his apartment at around one o’clock in the morning, and for the first time in months, he goes to sleep the second his head hits the pillow.
-
“This is our studio, hyung,” Hoseok says, opening a glass door and following Yoongi inside.
Yoongi’s eyes widen in amazement. “This entire room is for us?” he asks, marveling at all the top-class equipment lining the walls and tables.
“The three of us, actually!” a new voice pipes up. Yoongi turns on his heel to see Namjoon at one of the booths, headphones over his ears.
“Wow,” Yoongi says, letting out a low whistle.
Hoseok laughs. “I’ll take that as a good sign,” he says.
“Better than good,” Yoongi says with a gulp. “Better than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. This is perfect.”
“Well,” Namjoon says, getting up and putting the headphones away. “I should get going. I have an appointment with one of the trainees.” He smiles. “She said she wants to try out recording a little something. The trainees are never that bold.” The trainees, if ever, usually just write out a lot of lyrics and pass them to the staff to see if they are any good.
“That’s true,” Hoseok nods. “Anyways, I told Jin-hyung I’d get lunch with him.” He looks at Yoongi, “Just shoot a text if you need anything, hyung!”
Yoongi rolls his eyes. “Have fun with Seokjin.” As an afterthought, he adds, “But not too much fun!”
It makes Hoseok laugh. “Don’t be silly.”
The two of them leave in a swift manner after that, leaving Yoongi alone in the room. He immediately takes a seat at the one desk that’s empty, just a little away from the other two. One of them is very obviously Hoseok’s desk, and the other is Namjoon’s.
Yoongi runs his hands over the computer monitor and keyboard in awe. It’s absolutely perfect. The sight of the new equipment sends a shiver of excitement running through Yoongi’s body. He stares at it all, gulping back his nerves.
This is what he has wanted to do since he entered high school. This is where he wants to take his life.
There’s a knock, and Yoongi looks up to see Jeongguk peering inside through the clear glass. Yoongi nods at him, signaling that it’s okay for him to come inside.
“Hey, hyung,” Jeongguk says, waltzing inside and shutting the door behind him. “You’re finally in the studio!”
“Yeah,” Yoongi nods. “Yeah, I am.”
“Are you liking it?” Jeongguk asks, taking a seat right next to Yoongi and leaning back. He’s holding a bag of chips in his hand. He opens it, offering it to Yoongi who politely declines. Jeongguk shrugs, popping a few of the chips into his mouth and crunching in an obnoxiously loud manner.
“Of course I am,” Yoongi says, turning back to the computer screen. “It’s… a lot, at once. You know? But it’s fine.” It is more than fine. It’s such a big deal Yoongi doesn’t even feel completely comfortable verbalizing just how big this is for him.
Jeongguk hums, but doesn’t respond. Yoongi briefly wonders if he even knew what he had said.
“Do you… do you maybe wanna get coffee with me again?” Jeongguk asks, looking up at Yoongi. “Like, same as yesterday. After work? Only if you’re free and you actually want to, of course!”
And Yoongi, well, Yoongi wasn’t expecting that. He really thought the entire thing was just a one time deal, but clearly, Jeongguk had other plans.
“You want to?” he asks curiously.
Jeongguk nods. “I had fun! I think coffee makes me sleepy. It’ll be easier for me to get to sleep once I get home if I have some of it. The thing you ordered for me yesterday was really good. What was it?”
“I don’t remember,” Yoongi admits. “I think I had just picked the first thing on the menu that seemed like something you would enjoy drinking. A latte, perhaps?”
“It was good,” Jeongguk says. “I’d like to get it with you again, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah,” Yoongi nods. “Yeah, it’s okay.”
Jeongguk grins, getting up to his feet and shooting Yoongi another one of his peace signs.
“See you after work, then, hyung!”
Yoongi waves, not trusting his voice. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway, considering Jeongguk is already halfway out the door.
-
It becomes a regular thing.
In all honesty, Yoongi isn’t expecting it. He’s not expecting to go out every single night with one Jeon Jeongguk and get coffee with him after work. He’s not expecting getting home every night after his outing and heading straight to bed instead of daddling around and procrastinating on getting to sleep.
But it becomes his natural routine after a while. It’s like a life before the new job and Jeongguk just never existed in the first place.
“I’m going to try… the cappucino today,” Jeongguk says, his eyes raking over the coffee section on the menu. Yoongi nods in approval, tapping at Jeongguk’s wrist to get his attention.
“An excellent choice,” he says, shooting the younger a thumbs up.
Jeongguk giggles adorably at that. “Thank you, I try.”
They place their coffee orders, before settling back into a comfortable silence. It isn’t one of the ones where Yoongi is desperately looking for something—anything to say, but rather one where he can just appreciate the fact that he doesn’t have to be actively talking at all times.
Jeongguk makes him comfortable. It’s a fact he’s already established in his mind somewhere.
“I heard Jimin-hyung and Taehyungie-hyung made it official last week,” Jeongguk says as their drinks arrive.
Yoongi promptly chokes on his first sip of the hot coffee he had ordered.
“What the fuck?!”
Jeongguk lets out a loud, sudden laugh at the outburst. His head is tilted back and he’s laughing to his heart’s content. Yoongi catches his breath, pressing his lips together into a tight, thin line as he observes the younger boy.
“Sorry,” Jeongguk says once he’s gathered himself again. “Sorry, that was just… sorry. Your face, hyung. It just surprised me.”
Yoongi shakes his head, waving it off. “You’re not pulling my leg, are you?”
“No,” Jeongguk admits. “Tae told me. Plus, have you seen them? They’ve probably been secretly dating for months by now. The only people who didn’t know were themselves.”
“That is honestly so true,” Yoongi nods. “They’re head over heels for each other.”
Jeongguk smiles wistfully. “Have you ever been in love, hyung?”
“Love? Me?” Yoongi asks, his face scrunching up delicately as Jeongguk’s eyes are, as always, trailed on the movement of his mouth. “No. No, I haven’t been in love before.” The last part comes out a bit choked up, and Yoongi is kind of glad Jeongguk doesn’t pick up on it like he usually does.
Or, maybe, he does.
He’d just rather not know for sure.
“Have you?” Yoongi asks before he has any weird thoughts.
“No,” Jeongguk says. “I’m still… I don’t know. I’m still figuring everything out.”
“That’s valid,” Yoongi assures. “You don’t have to be sure of anything till you’re ready.”
Jeongguk yawns, eyes glancing over to the clock on the wall. It’s almost two in the morning, so they should probably think of packing things up.
“Ugh,” Jeongguk groans, “I don’t know how I’m going to survive tonight.”
Yoongi quirks an eyebrow. “What happened?”
“Taehyung has Jimin over for the night,” Jeongguk says with a sigh. “And you’d think, like, because I can’t hear anything, it’ll be fine for me.” He shudders. “But it’s not. They’re into weirdass wall-banging or whatever.”
“I’m sure if you tell them it bothers you…?” Yoongi tries.
Jeongguk shakes his head. “I am not going to be that person.”
“You can stay with me for the night?”
It comes out before Yoongi is able to think about it properly. In theory, it should be fine. Yoongi lives alone and his apartment is more than big enough to support another person for the night. It’s not like he’s never had another person stay over. In fact, Jimin sleeps over plenty of times whenever he feels like it.
This should be no different. It’s just another sleepover, after all.
“What was that?” Jeongguk asks.
Of course he wasn’t paying attention that one time.
“You’re… welcome to stay over at my place for the night,” Yoongi says slowly. “You know. Only if you’re comfortable.”
Jeongguk gasps. “You’d be okay with that?”
Yoongi shrugs, but frankly, it’s the most painful shrug he’s ever done.
“Of course, Jeongguk,” he says. “You’re my friend. We’ve been going out for coffee every single day for the past two months. If you’re comfortable with sleeping over, I definitely don’t mind it. It’ll be fun.”
“Okay,” Jeongguk says, blinking rapidly. “I… I don’t mean to intrude. But okay. Thank you, hyung.” It sounds so sincere, Yoongi only wishes the younger could also hear himself now.
They wander into Yoongi’s apartment quietly for absolutely no reason at all. No one else is inside, so there’s really no need to be tiptoeing around. However, with one glance back at Jeongguk who is trying oh so hard to not make a single peep, Yoongi decides to just let it be.
“You okay?” he asks as Jeongguk is putting his shoes inside the closet. He bites his bottom lip when he realizes Jeongguk isn’t looking at him and instead heads over to the couch.
“What are you doing?” Jeongguk asks as Yoongi is pulling out a blanket from one of the closets in the living room.
“Setting up my bed for the night,” he responds.
“No, you’re not,” Jeongguk says. “There’s no way I’m going to let you sleep on the couch when you’re the one who invited me over. I’ll take the couch.”
“Is this going to be one of those cliché scenes where we end up sharing the bed and fall dramatically in love with one another?” Yoongi deadpans.
Jeongguk smirks. “Well, then, we might as well just get on with it then. Sharing the bed it is!”
Yoongi’s jaw drops.
“Jeongguk I was just...”
“You were joking, I know,” Jeongguk grins cheekily. “But I’m not joking. Please, hyung? We’ll both be more comfortable this way.”
“I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Yoongi says quietly.
“Mumbling doesn’t have an effect on me, hyung,” Jeongguk laughs. “Remember?”
Yoongi sighs. “Right, of course.” Curse Jeon Jeongguk and his perfect lip reading capabilities.
And so, they end up sharing the bed. Yoongi on the left side and Jeongguk on the right. It’s a small bed, so it’s not surprising that Yoongi can feel Jeongguk’s thigh pressed against the side of his leg. If anything, it just makes him nervous. Not uncomfortable, per se, just… nervous.
They lay there for about fifteen minutes, Jeongguk with his eyes closed and Yoongi’s with his open and staring at the ceiling. He’s usually not bad with being able to fall asleep nowadays, but for some reason, sleep simply isn’t coming to him now. It just coincidentally happens to be the one time Yoongi so desperately wants to escape into the land of dreams.
“Hyung?” Jeongguk’s voice comes from next to him. Yoongi hums, before mentally slapping himself. He moves his hand so it’s resting on Jeongguk’s arm, a signal to the younger that yes, he’s awake. “Can I ask you a question?”
Yoongi turns so that he’s laying on his side, only to find Jeongguk already staring at him. It’s a bit hard to see him in the minimal light, but Yoongi can make out the general outline of his face.
He nods, and Jeongguk stills.
There are a few moments of silence before Yoongi hears him speaking again.
“What does my voice sound like?”
Yoongi’s breath hitches as he goes completely erect. The question is ringing through his ears as he stares at Jeongguk, who is giving him a pure, vulnerable look.
Something inside Yoongi breaks in that moment.
Everything is coming out fast without him thinking now.
“Oh baby,” he whispers, knowing Jeongguk can’t see him well enough to be able to decipher him, “come here, baby.” He reaches his arms out, enveloping Jeongguk into his embrace, the younger’s face pressing against his chest. It’s then when Yoongi realizes Jeongguk is shaking.
“Hyung, hyung,” Jeongguk is saying into his chest, “hyung, please.”
“Your voice is wonderful. The most beautiful, prettiest voice I’ve ever heard,” Yoongi is saying into Jeongguk’s hair as he strokes it gently. He knows Jeongguk doesn’t know what he’s saying, but for some reason, he can’t stop himself. “Do you know? The second I hear your voice I light up. It’s so bright and bold and so undeniably you, Jeongguk-ah. It’s my favorite sound in the world.”
Jeongguk breaks his head away from Yoongi, but doesn’t let go of their embrace. He’s looking up at Yoongi with pleading eyes.
Yoongi can only repeat one thing, however.
“It’s my favorite sound,” he mouths.
Jeongguk’s breath audibly hitches as he goes back to burying his face in Yoongi’s arms. The elder presses a kiss to the top of his head as he listens to the sound of Jeongguk’s breathing slowly evening out.
Needless to say, Yoongi doesn’t get a wink of sleep that night.
That night is also the night when he realizes that he is, undeniably, completely head over heels in love with Jeon Jeongguk.
-
[5:13] Yoongi: you started dating kim taehyung and never told me. i see how it is
[8:03] Jimin: literally why were you awake that early
[8:14] Yoongi: i couldn’t sleep
[8:14] Yoongi: don’t ignore me. answer the question
[8:20] Jimin: i was going to tell you, hyung!!! i promise.
[8:20] Jimin: you were just incredibly busy with your new song and i didn’t want to disturb you or break your train of thought or anything :< i’m sorry
[8:22] Yoongi: it’s alright
[8:23] Jimin: did you manage to get some sleep?
[8:23] Yoongi: no, but i’ll be fine
[8:23] Yoongi: i don’t have work today so i’ll just laze at home
[8:25] Jimin: want me to come over? we can spend the day together being lazy and eating food!
[8:27] Yoongi: actually, jeongguk’s staying over today
[8:28] Yoongi: so unless you wanna spend the day with the both of us?
[8:32] Jimin: on second thought, i have a date with tae today. sorry! don’t miss me too much
[8:32] Yoongi: i won’t, don’t worry
-
“Do you want something to drink?” Yoongi asks over the kitchen counter. Jeongguk is sitting on the living room couch, curled into a tiny ball. He sighs when Jeongguk doesn’t notice him, grabbing an almond lying on the counter and chucking it at him.
Jeongguk jerks up, rubbing the spot where the nut hit him.
“First of all, ouch,” he says, narrowing his eyes at Yoongi.
“Drink?” Yoongi asks, making a drinking motion with his hands.
Jeongguk shakes his head. “No thanks. Not thirsty.”
Which is basically code for water, please. Yoongi pours a glass of it from the filter tap and pads over to where Jeongguk is, handing him the cup.
Jeongguk narrows his gaze on the elder. “I said I’m not thirsty.”
“Whoops,” Yoongi says. “Guess I didn’t hear you.”
Jeongguk ends up drinking every last drop of the water, not to Yoongi’s surprise, of course.
“Do you wanna do anything today?” he asks, but when he says it and glances up, he notices Jeongguk heavily engrossed in something on his phone. Yoongi can’t help but smile, picking up the pad of sticky notes from the table near him and scribbling his message onto the top one. He passes it over to Jeongguk, who takes it with a confused expression adorning his features.
Do you wanna do anything special today? We have the day off.
“Pass the pen,” Jeongguk mutters, and Yoongi quickly complies, tossing it over to him and watching him as he writes something down underneath Yoongi’s words.
I don’t really wanna go anywhere, hyung. Can we just stay indoors? I could go home if you wanna hang out alone or with Jimin today.
Yoongi sighs. Classic Jeongguk.
Don’t worry about it, Jeongguk-ah. Jimin and Taehyung have already made other plans so I think we’re fine. We can definitely stay here if you’d like that. Do you have any preferences on takeout for lunch?
Not really. I’ll pretty much eat anything. Do you have a TV?
No, but we can watch something on my laptop. I charged it last night so it should bring us through the entire day. Anything in particular you’d like to watch?
No. You can pick. I don’t care as long as it doesn’t make me fall asleep.
Point taken. We can look through the selections the program I’m subscribed to has.
Jeongguk reads over Yoongi’s last note and visibly gulps. His hands shake as he writes something down. Yoongi furrows his eyebrows as he takes it once Jeongguk is done.
I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Yoongi releases a breath. So that’s why Jeongguk has been so uneasy this entire morning.
Don’t worry about it. If anything, I’m just glad you trust me enough for you to be able to ask me something like that. I can tell it’s a bit of a sensitive topic. You don’t have to feel pressured into doing or telling me anything, alright? But, if you want someone to listen, I’m here.
When Jeongguk reads the note, he nods, crumpling it in his hand before getting up and off of his end of the couch. He stops right in front of Yoongi, making the older boy pause in his tracks.
“Everything okay?” he asks. Jeongguk nods, but sits himself down right next to Yoongi so that their sides are pressed together. Yoongi can practically feel the warmth Jeongguk is emitting from his unfairly large body. It’s… strangely comforting to him, especially considering he’s not one who is usually into a lot of physical affection.
Except hand holding. Yoongi can definitely get behind some good old hand holding.
When he realizes Jeongguk isn’t going to say anything, Yoongi gets out his laptop and goes to the website where he usually watches his movies. Jeongguk looks over his shoulders, reading all the titles as the two of them sift through all their options, before finally settling on a romcom that looked mediocrely decent and entertaining enough. Yoongi turns on the subtitles without a word, and the two of them settle in.
They spend basically their entire morning, bleeding into mid-afternoon, watching shitty movies and ordering three rounds of takeout from a local restaurant. It’s not Yoongi’s ideal Sunday, but he feels so content and warm that he can’t find it in himself to care.
Somewhere in the middle of their fourth movie, Jeongguk starts talking, adding little commentary to everything the characters do and telling stories he thinks of on the spot as they go. Yoongi laughs every time a piece of Jeongguk’s food spills onto his lap, making the younger frown in annoyance at the look of pure joy that originated from Jeongguk’s suffering.
Again, Yoongi can’t find it in himself to care. He’s just having too much fun with Jeongguk and wouldn’t trade it in for any other feeling in the world.
“Thank you,” Jeongguk says, looking up from where he’s settled into the crook of Yoongi’s neck.
Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “For what?”
“For a lot of things,” Jeongguk says. “But, you know. Mostly for being my friend. And not treating me any different even though I can’t hear anything you say.” He takes a breath. “For actually giving me a chance. You turned on the subtitles for the movies without even having to ask me. It was like you know I need them.” Jeongguk smiles. “That made me feel really good, hyung. Thank you for understanding.”
Yoongi just smiles, shakes his head, and leans in to give Jeongguk a peck on his temple.
“Thank you,” he whispers when he pulls away.
Jeongguk looks at him in confusion for a moment, but ultimately seems to decide against questioning Yoongi about what had just happened.
If anything, Yoongi is grateful for it.
-
[17:37] Yoongi: i like him
[17:37] Yoongi: maybe i love him
[17:37] Yoongi: he makes me feel special and good about myself and i’ve never experienced anything like that and he always goes out of his way to make sure i’m comfortable and happy when it’s supposed to be the other way around and he never says anything when i accidentally slip up and speak really fast and he never does anything wrong and he’s such a perfect human being how can someone like him exist
[17:38] Yoongi: he genuinely seems to enjoy my company and i’ve never felt like this with any of my lovers before he’s just so amazing i don’t even know what i’m doing anymore i just want to give him the world i want to do anything for him i will do anything for him and it hurts because he’ll never know
[17:40] Jimin: what the fuck
-
“Hyung, I want to record something,” Jeongguk says as he enters the studio one day. Yoongi looks up from where he’s working on one of the trainees’ tracks and smiles.
“Jeongguk-ah,” he greets. “What do you want to record?”
“I wrote something,” Jeongguk says, showing Yoongi a bundle of papers he’s carrying. “I just want to see if it sounds good.”
Yoongi nods, opening a new file on his computer and gesturing to the booth. “The mic is yours.”
Jeongguk enters the booth, closing the door behind him and grabbing the set of headphones. He places them over his head and puts the music sheets on the stand behind the microphone.
“I emailed you a rough idea of the track for it about five minutes before I got here,” he says, and Yoongi nods, immediately clicking over to his inbox. He sees a new message, the subject being Euphoria, and clicks into the audio file attached.
“Alright,” he says, shooting Jeongguk a thumbs up. “Three… two… one…”
Jeongguk closes his eyes, and Yoongi watches as he taps the index finger of his right hand on the music stand and moves with the beat of the song. It’s very upbeat, a bit unlike the last song he had approached Yoongi with. Yoongi smiles as he watches Jeongguk singing it, listening closely for the lyrics.
When he’s done, Yoongi stands up and claps for him, making Jeongguk smile when he sees it. He bows dramatically and takes the headphones off, exiting the room in a hurried fashion and running right up to Yoongi.
“What did you think, hyung?”
“That was incredible,” Yoongi says earnestly. He knows by the look on Jeongguk’s face that he understands how much he means it. “It’s a very you song, Jeongguk-ah. The lyrics, the melody, everything is so you.”
Jeongguk stares at him for a moment. “You really think so?”
“I’m proud of you,” Yoongi says instead of responding to his question, because he knows Jeongguk already is certain of the answer.
There are times when Yoongi considers just telling Jeongguk about his feelings outright. It’s definitely the easier approach to his situation, but at the same time, it’s just so fucking scary.
The thought of Yoongi asking Jeongguk out and Jeongguk agreeing fills him with utter joy and a warm feeling he can’t quite place. It’s a feeling Yoongi so desperately wants to feel but simply can’t. It’s stupid. It’s so, so stupid, but he can’t do anything about it.
Plus, Yoongi isn’t even sure of himself. (This is a lie—Yoongi has never been more sure about anything else in his life before).
Jeongguk turns around, heading over to the other side of the room where the computers are so he can review his work.
“I’m in love with you,” Yoongi says once Jeongguk’s back is turned to him. “Fuck. I’m so in love with you.”
He watches as Jeongguk presses play on one of the keypads, looking at the line of his recorded voice on the screen and quickly jotting down any notes for improvement in pitch he notices.
“I’m in love with you, Jeon Jeongguk,” Yoongi says again, louder this time. “I’m in love with you and it scares the living crap out of me. I’m in love with you and I want to tell you when your front is facing me but I can’t because I’m a fucking coward who can’t handle the thought of rejection.” Yoongi lowers his head. “Please accept my feelings.”
Jeongguk turns around to see Yoongi still standing in the middle of the room with his hands clasped together in front of his waist.
“What are you doing there, hyung?” he asks, shaking his head with a small laugh. “Come and take a look! Tell me if you hear anything weird and then we can go for round two.”
Yoongi barely even notices the tears pricking at the back of his eyes as he approaches Jeongguk. The only thing swirling in his mind is the image of Jeongguk’s smiling face as he takes Yoongi’s hand and guides him through the maze that is his feelings.
-
“You okay?” Jimin asks as he enters the apartment. Yoongi’s sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.
“I don’t know what I am anymore,” he responds, his voice a bit constricted due to his hands being in the way. He hears Jimin sigh loudly, but then a new voice speaks up.
“Hyung.”
Yoongi finally looks up, expecting to see only Jimin standing in front of him. Instead, he sees Jimin and Taehyung, both giving him looks of concern.
“Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi says with a gulp, moving over on the couch so that Taehyung can sit down next to him. “What are you doing here?”
“I tagged along with Jiminnie,” Taehyung explains. “Sorry for intruding.”
“It’s okay,” Yoongi shakes his head. Taehyung takes the seat next to Yoongi in the middle of the couch, and Jimin sits down on the opposite end of it, his hand slung around Taehyung’s waist.
“Is everything okay, hyung?” Taehyung asks, his brows pinched together in worry. “Jiminnie’s told me a little about what’s going on but the only person who knows the full story is you.”
“I don’t know,” Yoongi admits. “I think I’m okay. I’m just… confused.”
“What are you confused about?” Taehyung asks.
“A lot of things,” Yoongi says. “Mostly about Jeongguk.”
He hasn’t known for Taehyung too long—just for the past year or so. Ever since he and Jimin started hanging out, Yoongi’s caught a glimpse of the younger here and there. He does know that Taehyung is absolutely wonderful, though. He’s a friend. A good friend that he can trust.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I don’t know,” Yoongi says again. “I think I do. It’s just that… Jeongguk is someone I really need in my life. He makes me feel happy. It’s been long since another person has made me genuinely happy.”
“Are you in love with him?” Taehyung asks, and Yoongi’s head darts up to meet his eyes. Taehyung is giving him a look that screams You can tell me, hyung, and Yoongi? Yoongi doesn’t mind.
He’s mulled over this for a few weeks now. He can now be confident in his answer.
“Yes,” he says in a low voice. “Yes, I am in love with him. I’m in love with him and it’s scary and I don’t know what to do or say to him without just like… wanting to burst and tell him how I feel.”
“Why don’t you?” Taehyung asks, lowering his eyebrows.
“Because he doesn’t love me back,” Yoongi says.
“How can you be sure? Have you ever asked him?”
“How would I ask him,” Yoongi grimaces. “I can barely even talk to him without wanting to cry.”
Taehyung bites his lip. “You are in love with him.”
“We have established this, yes.”
“I just wanted to make sure,” Taehyung nods. His eyes narrow in thought. “Hyung, when I fell in love with Jiminnie I was in a similar boat. But I only knew for certain after I told him about what I was feeling. Until then everything was just a big if.”
“My entire life is just a big if, Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi says. “I don’t know anymore. I’m just tired.”
“It’s okay to be tired,” Taehyung says, patting Yoongi’s back comfortingly. “It’s okay to not know what to do. I think you should just… go with the flow. You know? Don’t overthink it, okay?”
“I’m trying,” Yoongi says, his voice cracking slightly.
“And that’s good,” Taehyung nods. “It’s going to work out in the end, hyung. Plus… I know Jeongguk.” He sighs. “Maybe telling him about your feelings won’t be the worst idea?”
“Thank you,” Yoongi says. He chooses not to comment on the last part.
“Of course.”
-
They’re at their regular coffee outing when Jeongguk says something that makes Yoongi’s entire world stop.
“Hyung, do you know something?” Jeongguk asks, swirling his spoon around his hot drink.
“I know a lot of things,” Yoongi says in response, which makes Jeongguk laugh.
“My heart… my heart does this thing,” Jeongguk starts with a gulp, “and it only happens when I’m around you? It’s weird.”
Yoongi pauses. He stares at him, the way his tongue runs across his bottom lip nervously. Jeongguk is looking down, so even if Yoongi wanted to say anything in response Jeongguk wouldn’t see. (Yoongi can’t decide if this is a blessing or a curse).
“It’s like,” Jeongguk continues, refusing to make eye contact with the elder, “you know in those cheesy anime where you can hear the character’s heartbeat? I can’t hear it, but there are so many over the top pink graphics that fill the screen.” He pauses. “It’s kind of like that. I feel it beating really hard, but it only happens when I’m around you. It’s so weird.”
Yoongi releases a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. He reaches out to tap Jeongguk’s hand, finally managing to get his attention.
“That is weird,” he agrees. “The same thing happens to me.”
Jeongguk’s eyes go wide. “Seriously? So it’s not just a me problem?”
“No,” Yoongi says, shaking his head with a laugh. “I don’t think it’s a you problem. Maybe it’s just… an us problem.”
“An us problem?” Jeongguk repeats.
“Yes. An us problem.”
Jeongguk hums under his breath, looking away. “Do you want to stay over with me tonight? Taehyungie-hyung is going over to Jimin-hyung’s place and I’m... I don’t know. I feel alone sometimes at night when Taehyungie-hyung isn’t just in the room next to mine.” He smiles. “Plus, you’ve never been to my apartment before, and we’ve been friends for almost five months now!”
Yoongi blinks. “You want me to come over and spend the night? With you? At your place?”
Everything in Yoongi is screaming at him to say no. No, he can’t spend the night with Jeongguk. No, he can’t go over to his apartment because he doesn’t know if he can trust himself to not do anything stupid. Every cog in his brain is churning, desperately telling him to back down—to reject Jeongguk’s offer.
“Okay,” he says out loud instead of everything he was planning on saying. He mentally punches himself for being such an idiot.
It’s too late now, though. Jeongguk looks so excited all of a sudden that Yoongi doesn’t have the heart to change his mind.
“Yay!” Jeongguk says, shooting Yoongi two thumbs up. “It’s a sleepover!”
Yoongi laughs weakly, trying his best to not let his true emotions bleed to the front of his face.
And so, they end up going back to Jeongguk’s apartment, the one he shares with Taehyung. It’s quite cozy, just a little bigger than Yoongi’s own place. But that much makes sense, considering Yoongi lives alone and Jeongguk has a roommate.
“Are we going to have the whole Who Takes The Couch argument again? Or…” Jeongguk starts, looking to Yoongi with a strange glint of something Yoongi can’t quite place in his eyes.
Yoongi sighs. “We both know it’s a lost cause.”
“I don’t really know what you just said, but I’m going to assume it was a no,” Jeongguk says, grinning cheekily in that… stupid little way of his.
Jeongguk retreats to the bathroom, and Yoongi takes the opportunity to properly look around. There’s a wall full of framed pictures, and with a smile, he walks up to them and takes the nearest one in his hands. It’s a picture of Taehyung and Jeongguk when they were much younger, probably just in high school by the looks of it. The next one is the two of them at their high school graduation. There’s one of Taehyung and Jimin, and also one of Jeongguk standing next to another man that holds a striking similarity to him. It’s probably his brother, Yoongi thinks.
If there’s one thing Yoongi wants to say to Jeongguk, it’s that he admires him.
Jeongguk has never let his disability come in the way of him living his life to the fullest. Jeongguk has built himself up to being able to hold a perfectly normal conversation with anyone, and Yoongi is almost sure it pains him greatly at the same time.
Yoongi only wishes he could be a fraction of how strong Jeongguk is.
“Ah, hyung? Are you okay?” a voice calls from behind him. Yoongi whips around to see Jeongguk standing there, wearing his pajamas and running a small towel through his soaking charcoal locks. Yoongi blinks himself out of whatever trance he was in, offering the younger a friendly smile.
“You finished?” he asks, walking over to the door to Jeongguk’s bedroom.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk says. “I’m tired. Do you wanna just turn in now or do you wanna do something?”
“I’m tired too,” Yoongi says. “Let’s just… get ready for bed.”
“Okay,” Jeongguk nods.
They head inside, and Jeongguk closes the door behind him and turns on the dim orange lights of the bedroom. Jeongguk puts his towel away and tosses his hair around a bit, letting out a deep sigh. Yoongi watches as he groans in frustration, obviously not happy with how wet his hair still was.
He catches Jeongguk’s eye.
“Do you not have a hairdryer?”
“I broke it last week,” Jeongguk admits sheepishly. “Tae and I keep meaning to go and buy a new one, but we just haven’t found the time yet.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes, taking a seat on the bed with his feet hanging off. “Come here with the towel,” he says, gesturing the younger over. Jeongguk looks confused, but follows the instructions anyways. He approaches Yoongi with the towel in his hand and looks down at him with his head tilted partially to the right. He’s pouting, and Yoongi kind of wants to kiss his nose.
Yoongi takes the towel from Jeongguk’s hands and sets it aside. He makes Jeongguk turn around and sit down on the floor so he fits right into the space between Yoongi’s legs. Yoongi then takes the towel again and begins to run it through Jeongguk’s hair with both hands.
A voice in the back of his mind is yelling at him to stop—what the fuck is he doing. Drying Jeongguk’s hair for him? It’s so stupid, but for some reason, a part of Yoongi tells himself to not care.
“Hyung…” Jeongguk whispers, just loud enough for Yoongi to hear him.
Yoongi ignores him, threading his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair slowly with the towel. He fluffs up his hair as Jeongguk stays incredibly still underneath him.
Jeongguk then turns around halfway and grabs Yoongi’s knee, making the elder pause. Yoongi peers down at him with furrowed eyebrows, and Jeongguk looks up at him with parted lips and wide eyes.
Jeongguk is standing up then, now facing Yoongi head on. He loops his arms around Yoongi’s neck and leans forward with his right knee, using it to keep himself upright and staring down at Yoongi. Yoongi’s hands, which were once hanging loosely at his sides, now feel awkward with the change in position. He visibly gulps before attaching his hands to Jeongguk’s hips for additional support.
Jeongguk bends down, his eyes narrowing as he peers into Yoongi’s own orbs. Yoongi can’t do anything but stare as Jeongguk’s tight lips break out into a soft smile, one where Yoongi can quite literally feel a sudden rush of warmth coursing through his body, all the way down to the very tips of his toes.
“You’re very beautiful, hyung,” Jeongguk says in a voice that’s so sincere Yoongi almost feels like crying. “I know your voice is beautiful too. I wish I could hear what it sounds like.”
It’s when Jeongguk says things like this that Yoongi wants to just wrap him in his arms and give him the tightest hug. It also makes him want to have a breakdown. Just a bit.
“Baby,” Yoongi murmurs, this time looking right at Jeongguk. Jeongguk gasps at the pet name, his eyes becoming impossibly large. It’s… endearing. “My baby.”
“Hyung?”
“My voice isn’t that cool,” Yoongi says, stroking a bit of Jeongguk’s curls behind his ear. “Your voice is a thousand times better than mine.”
“Don’t say that, hyung,” Jeongguk says. “I don’t even know what my own voice sounds like.”
There’s silence for a few moments, which Yoongi spends drowning in the sea of Jeongguk’s eyes.
“I think,” Yoongi says, “you would fall in love with your voice.”
Jeongguk smiles. “I think,” he says, “that if I could, I would fall in love with your voice.”
And Yoongi? Yoongi doesn’t really know what to say to that.
“I’ve fallen in love with your voice,” Yoongi says then, his grip on Jeongguk tightening, almost like he’s afraid of the response he’ll get. He is afraid. “I fall in love with things that comfort me. Music comforts me. My dog back home comforts me. My family comforts me. Your voice is also something that comforts me.”
“I think I’m falling too, hyung,” Jeongguk says, his eyes fluttering close. He pushes Yoongi back till they’re lying on the mattress with Jeongguk on top of Yoongi’s chest. “I’m falling really fast. Really, really fast. Is that bad?”
Yoongi shakes his head with enough force so that Jeongguk can understand.
“Oh,” Jeongguk whispers. “Oh, okay. I was kind of scared. Haha.”
“I’m scared too,” Yoongi says, but by the time the words make it past his lips, Jeongguk is already fast asleep.
-
[7:27] Jeongguk: i want to talk to you about something important
[7:30] Yoongi: is everything okay?
[7:32] Jeongguk: no
[7:32] Jeongguk: i want to talk to you about something. and it’s important
[7:35] Yoongi: okay. okay jeongguk okay
[7:35] Yoongi: when do you want to talk about it? where?
[7:36] Jeongguk: soon. i don’t care
[7:40] Yoongi: i’ll come over today
-
Yoongi has known Jeongguk for a grand total of six months when Jeongguk sits him down on the top of his dining table.
“Jeongguk—Jeongguk what are you doing—” he tries as Jeongguk settles him down and stands right in front of him. He looks nervous, uncharacteristically nervous. It’s just making Yoongi nervous, and Yoongi doesn’t do nervous.
That’s a lie.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk begins, quieting down the rampage that is Yoongi’s internal thoughts, “I want to tell you something. And it’s really, really important, so please listen to me.”
“I kind of got that from your texts,” Yoongi says pointedly, but Jeongguk just shakes his head.
“I…”
Yoongi waits patiently.
“I…”
“Take your time.”
“Shut up.”
Yoongi grins, watching as Jeongguk makes a series of varied facial expressions that hint on just how pained he is feeling. Yoongi sighs, wondering what the boy is up to now.
“I…” Jeongguk tries again, but ends up trailing off before getting anything of real significance out.
Yoongi looks at him. “Everything okay?”
“Yes—no—yes?” Jeongguk says, stumbling at his own words. He groans. “Oh fuck it.”
In one swift movement, Jeongguk is grabbing the collar of Yoongi’s shirt and pulling him roughly toward him. Yoongi yelps in surprise but his voice is muffled by the sudden contact of Jeongguk’s lips on his own.
Yoongi’s heart stops.
Screw Jeon Jeongguk and the way he makes Yoongi’s heart flutter uncontrollably. Screw Jeon Jeongguk and his way of talking so gently. Screw Jeon Jeongguk and the way he manages to make everything better. Screw Jeon Jeongguk and the way he made Yoongi fall so deeply in love. Screw Jeon Jeongguk and his ever so sweet lips.
Yoongi thinks he’ll never forgive Jeongguk for doing this to him, but slowly, he’s making his way there. He’s getting to the point of return. He’s feeling things he should be feeling, but never regretting everything he never meant to feel at all.
Yoongi’s hands snake around Jeongguk’s hips and rest there as he closes his eyes and returns the kiss. Jeongguk giggles outwardly when he feels it and pulls Yoongi even closer to him—impossibly closer. Closer, closer, closer. The contact is sending shivers down Yoongi’s spine and making his brain malfunction (just a little).
When they part, they keep their closeness. Jeongguk is breathing heavily and Yoongi rests his forehead against Jeongguk’s. It’s unfortunate that the way they’re placed is making Yoongi even shorter than he usually is, but for once he doesn’t really care about anything other than the boy staring back at him with heavy eyes and flushed cherry red cheeks.
“That’s…” Jeongguk starts, “not really how I wanted to do this, but okay.”
Yoongi tips his head back and laughs.
-
[20:19] Yoongi: i kissed him
[20:19] Yoongi: well . i guess technically he kissed me?
[20:19] Yoongi: ugh it doesn’t matter
[20:19] Taehyung: WHAT THE FUCK??? HYUNG??????
[20:19] Jimin: HOLY FUCKING SHIT MIN YOONGI
[20:20] Yoongi: wow i hate you both
[20:20] Taehyung: YOU KISSED HIM?? HE KISSED YOU?? OH GOD IT DOESN’T MATTER UR RIGHT WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK U AND JEONGGUKKIE KISSED U AND JEONGGUKKIE KISSED U SMOOCHED RIGHT ON THE LIPPIES OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE WHEN JEONGGUK COMES HOME IM GOING TO CRY IM GOING TO TEASE HIM TO THE ENDS OF THE FUCKING WORLD OH MY FUCKING GOD I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING
[20:21] Jimin: I CANT BELIEVE YOU, THE LITERAL KING OF NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO IN SITUATIONS WHERE IT IS MOST IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO KNOW WHAT TO DO, ACTUALLY KISSED THE GUY YOUVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH FOR THE PAST LIKE THREE MONTHS LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK HYUNG I CANT BELIEVE THIS????? I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS????????????
[20:21] Yoongi: yes i couldn’t believe it either when you two started dating and never told me
[20:21] Taehyung: that is a thing of the past
[20:21] Jimin: no SHUT UP we’re getting off topic YOONGI AND JEONGGUK KISSED !!!!!!!
[20:22] Yoongi: i’m never telling you guys anything ever again
[20:22] Taehyung: yes you are
[20:22] Jimin: yes you are
[20:23] Yoongi: goodnight forever
-
[23:03] Yoongi: hey uh
[23:03] Yoongi: what you did today… you meant it, right?
[23:05] Jeongguk: what
[23:05] Jeongguk: of course i did what kind of question is that
[23:05] Yoongi: oh good
[23:05] Yoongi: i don’t know. my mind’s been a mess all day and i don’t know half the stuff i’ve said today
[23:05] Jeongguk: you’re so cute, hyung
[23:05] Yoongi: please kindly shut the fuck up
[23:05] Jeongguk: i like you a lot
[23:06] Yoongi: yeah i kinda got that from us kissing for like two hours straight today but okay thanks for the confirmation
[23:06] Jeongguk: you’re welcome!!!
[23:06] Jeongguk: i think
[23:06] Jeongguk: either way i wanted to let you know again. i like you a lot and i’m like. lowkey falling in love with you
[23:06] Jeongguk: actually not lowkey. very very highkey
[23:06] Yoongi: i fell in love with you a long time ago
[23:06] Jeongguk: do you really mean that?
[23:07] Yoongi: i don’t lie, jeon jeongguk
[23:07] Jeongguk: i know i know i’m just… still figuring a lot of stuff out, i guess? is that okay?
[23:07] Yoongi: of course it’s okay. you should take all the time you need and as long as you’re comfortable i’ll be happy i promise you
[23:07] Jeongguk: but um
[23:07] Jeongguk: if i wanted to, like, theoretically call you my boyfriend
[23:07] Jeongguk: could i?
[23:08] Yoongi: did you just seriously ask me to be your boyfriend over text. theoretically
[23:08] Jeongguk: sorry!!! i promise i’ll be way more romantic tomorrow!!! theoretically
[23:08] Yoongi: promise? not theoretically
[23:09] Jeongguk: promise! not theoretically
[23:10] Yoongi: then yes. deal. you can totally not theoretically call me your boyfriend. and i can call you mine
[23:10] Jeongguk: :D
-
On Yoongi’s birthday the following year, he opens the wrapped package from Jeongguk to see a pair of soundproof headphones.
Yoongi looks up with wide eyes. “Jeongguk?”
Jeongguk, who’s sitting across from him on the other end of the couch, laughs beautifully at Yoongi’s reaction to the gift.
“I know you’ve been wanting a pair,” Jeongguk says. “And I also got them because I wanted to play a bit of a game with you.”
Yoongi blinks. “Game?”
Jeongguk nods, quickly reaching over and taking the headphones out of his boyfriend’s hands. He places them over Yoongi’s ears and shoots him a thumbs up.
He signs, you can’t hear me now, can you?
Yoongi’s been diligently working on his sign language for many months now, so he has no trouble in nodding and signing back a no, I can’t hear you.
Try to read my lips and figure out what I’m saying, Jeongguk signs, and realization dawns upon Yoongi. He nods, blinking a few times and sitting up just a tad bit straighter.
Jeongguk mouths something, and Yoongi knows what he’s saying immediately.
“Fried chicken,” he says, taking the headphones off. Jeongguk nods.
“Good job! Okay, next.”
“Calculator?”
“Yes.”
“Phone charger!”
“Haha, yes,” Jeongguk says with a laugh. “Okay. This one might be a little hard. Try your best, okay?”
Yoongi nods, licking his lips and putting the headphones back on over his ears. He watches as Jeongguk grins at him before mouthing something.
I love you.
Yoongi smiles and takes them off again.
“I love you too.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “I did not say that.”
Yoongi sighs. “You said I love you. I love you too.”
“Of course you do,” Jeongguk grins, crawling over to Yoongi and sitting down right in his lap. “Have you met me? I’m just so lovable!”
“Don’t push it,” Yoongi says in a warning tone.
“But you love me.” Jeongguk pouts.
“Yes I do,” Yoongi shakes his head with a laugh. “I love you forever.”
“Forever and ever?” Jeongguk asks, raising his pinky finger to Yoongi’s face.
“Forever and ever and ever,” Yoongi nods, interlocking their pinkies and leaning in to kiss Jeongguk straight on his lips.
It’s a promise.
-
[12:13] Jimin: by the way, i won the bet
[12:13] Yoongi: what bet
[12:14] Jimin: $20 on you falling in love with jeongguk, remember? :DD
[12:14] Yoongi: i hate you
[12:15] Jimin: keep jeonggukkie at yours tonight! tae and i have some plans at his place ;)
[12:15] Yoongi: i take it back
[12:15] Yoongi: i fucking despise you