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Here You Come Again

Summary:

Jim thinks he's got himself on track. Ready to take on this new mission without Spock. But he hasn't moved on quite as much as he let's on.

Notes:

I gotta stop writing fics inspired by songs... or do I?

Work Text:

If you had asked him two days ago how he was doing, in his new position, in his day to day life in general, Jim Kirk would say he was doing great. His career was, in a professional sense at it's best, and to anyone who didn't know him, you'd have thought he was doing pretty well. And he would have said the same, but then so much can change in forty-eight short hours.

When they gave the ship back to him, he couldn't say he wasn't surprised but he wasn't about to push his luck. He'd thought that would be the most significant thing to happen to him, he certainly wasn't expecting after reclaiming the Enterprise and re-recruiting Bones to have Spock show up out of the blue.

And he certainly wasn't expecting Spock to step out of that turbo-lift looking like something straight out of one of his daydreams. That's when he knew that as much as he liked to convince himself that he had moved on, was perfectly fine with how things had turned out, it was all a lie. Because Spock just set him back three years, back to the day when they all went their separate ways. Jim Kirk was right back at square one.

Now to say he was disappointed that Spock changed out of his Vulcan get up and into his Starfleet uniform was an understatement. To say he was disappointed that Spock seemed to be acting very cold towards him and the others was another big understatement. So, if Spock thought he could show up, looking like the very definition of alluring then Jim could hit right back. Of course, he really did need to speak to Spock about why he had come back, the fact that he too had changed into something a little more... fitting was neither here nor there. It wasn't like he could tell whether or not it actually had any affect though. When Spock had stepped onto the bridge Jim had all but fainted in a maidenly fashion whilst Spock's eyes held his, he couldn't rightly say Spock had any reaction what so ever to his choice of uniform. Well, nothing out of the ordinary anyway. 

It really wasn't fair for Spock to show up like that, Jim would have been perfectly happy to have completed this mission alone. He may have felt something missing but he would have buried it but now that was unlikely to happen with Spock stationed right behind him, wearing that God awful uniform that somehow he still managed to make look good. Jim would like to have said that he could be just as stand offish and distant, which in his defense he had tried but he figured he try the classic approach, just like when they had first worked together. He didn't push too much, but he looked to Spock often, engaged as often as possible regarding the mission, said his name maybe more than necessary and stood by his station whenever it seemed reasonable.

If Spock thought he could just waltz right back onto the Enterprise and not have to deal with one James Kirk then he was sorely mistaken and Jim thinks he sees how much Spock is regretting coming back with the barely there pained expression whenever Jim stands a little closer than necessary or focuses on him whilst he talks. No, Spock doesn't get to come back just like that, pretend he hasn't spent the last couple of years trying to purge his emotions and that they don't have a history and expect Jim to do the same.

Spock in fact was keenly aware of what it would mean to face Jim again. He had steeled himself on the shuttle, fully confident that he would be able to keep his emotions in check until he found out what he needed. Of course he wasn't prepared to realise just how much he had missed him. Even hearing him speak his name was like a slap to the face, reawakening everything that he had worked so hard to banish. And if he reveled just the tiniest of amounts when Jim's eyes lingered on him, he didn't let it show or even acknowledge it himself at first. Then, of course, he should have expected really, Jim taking his self erected wall between them as a challenge. He thinks the white Captain's shirt is a bit of a stretch though, even for him. Of course, it is an upgrade from that rather ill fitting grey uniform he wore before. But merely because it looks more comfortable, nothing to do with the aesthetic qualities such as how snug it fits across his broad chest, or wraps around his stocky arms. He simply appreciates practical clothing.

When it became obvious Spock wasn't going to be able to avoid Jim or even dissuade him from interacting with him, he resigned himself to it. Jim was stubborn, but then so was he and if they both kept it up they wouldn't get anywhere and they were on a timed mission. Jim seemed to be settling back into their old dynamic, something Spock was sure he should find quite disturbing, if he wasn't practically encouraging it that is. 

By the time they reach V'Ger Spock doesn't even question reaching for Jim to hold him back when he tries to move towards Decker. Doesn't break eye contact when Jim looks to him and he knows now that it was probably useless from the start. He knew it was dangerous territory when he returned to find his answers back on the Enterprise, still it was a valiant attempt. 

Jim didn't even blink when Spock took his hand and it's almost like the tension has been clean cleared away. Spock isn't resisting anymore, their old camaraderie returns as if it never left and Jim doesn't have time to experience the whip lash but he's sure once this is over he'll laugh about it.

And just like that, V'Ger is no longer a threat, the mission is over and he and Spock are standing side by side just like before. Jim wonders how he's coped these past few years without that comforting, sturdy presence next to him. He certainly can feel an emptiness being filled, he doesn't think he ever noticed that before, not until it was replaced with what was missing. Spock's arm brushes his as they stand together, Jim looks at him and smiles and to Jim's delight it is returned in the Vulcan's eyes and it feels like no time has passed at all.