Chapter Text
How had things turned out this way? Xiao Xingchen’s restless, fragmented spirit could only replay the events over and over in his mind. Song Lan… A-Qing… He couldn’t protect either of them in the end. All the countless people who had died, who he had killed with his own sword unknowingly, all those lives ruined… they all had one common thread. Xue Yang.
If he had one wish, he would go back. Back before Song Lan lost his eyes. Back before anyone had to die. He would hunt Xue Yang down and take him out before he had a chance to commit any atrocities. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to save everyone, but as long as Song Lan and A-Qing were spared, he could rest in peace.
It was pointless to dream, but even in death, his mind kept swirling with possibilities. If only. If only…
...If only.
Xiao Xingchen’s eyes shot open and he was flooded with colors, shapes and light. Suddenly dizzy, he had to shut them again quickly. How long had it been since he had seen anything?? What was going on? He was supposed to be dead. He hadn’t wanted to live anymore, even as a spirit.
He cautiously opened his eyes again and squinted. It looked like he wasn’t a spirit - what he could see of his body looked solid. His stomach dropped - had Xue Yang found a way to revive him as a fierce corpse? But his skin looked healthy - not like a corpse at all. He cautiously looked around - it seemed he had woken up by the side of a road. He was dressed in his normal white garb.
Climbing to his feet, he tried to figure out what was going on. Just moments ago, he had been dead. He knew that much, and he knew he hadn’t been dreaming. The despair he had felt in his final moments alive was still too raw to be fake. And he remembered that he was still able to think as a spirit, despite how fractured his soul was. All he could remember was wishing to kill Xue Yang before he could harm his friends.
...Was that what had happened? It seemed like a long-shot, but Xiao Xingchen felt that the reason he had been revived all of a sudden had to do with his final wish. So was this the past? There was no one around him on the road, but there was a city in the distance. If he was right and he had been brought back to fulfill his wish, then it was likely Xue Yang was in that city.
His fingers twitched and he reached for his sword by his side. Normally he didn’t take pleasure in killing anyone, but after what Xue Yang had done, he would be glad to finally bring about his demise. He truly deserved it. Xiao Xingchen began quickly walking towards the city, looking forward to putting an end to this once and for all
Xiao Xingchen wasn’t sure what city this was. He didn’t immediately recognize it, but it was bustling. He also wasn’t sure where to begin his search, but Xue Yang caused trouble wherever he was.
“Excuse me.” He decided to stop and ask someone, just in case Xue Yang had already become infamous. “Do you know anyone by the name of Xue Yang?” He described him as well.
The man he stopped looked annoyed to have been bothered. “No. Should I?”
“No, I’m just looking for him and I believe he’s in this city, so I’m asking around.”
“Well I don’t know anyone like that. It’s a big city. Good luck finding him.” The man said and went on his way.
Xiao Xingchen asked around a bit more. He asked in inns and in restaurants. He knew Xue Yang liked candy and sweets, so he tried a local candy shop. No one had ever heard of him and after several hours Xiao Xingchen was starting to get frustrated. It was a big city and he had been granted a second chance to make his wish come true - he knew he shouldn’t be ungrateful even if it was difficult, but finding a specific person was going to be almost impossible.
He was also worried that if he took too long, Xue Yang would have the chance to hurt someone. Or maybe he already had? Xiao Xingchen wasn’t sure how far in the past he had gone, after all. He had grown up in the mountains far away from society, so he didn’t have any point of reference to when this might be.
‘I’m not going to let the same mistakes happen this time.’ He thought to himself. ‘I’m not going to let you harm anyone again. I can’t believe I ever let you live under the same roof as me, or laughed at your jokes, or…’ He trailed off. This line of thinking was getting him nowhere fast.
The sun was starting to get low in the sky - it hadn’t completely set yet, but it was getting close. Xiao Xingchen figured he would need to find an inn to stay at soon (he had checked earlier, and it seemed he had a little bit of money on him.) But just as he was looking for a place to stay, there was some commotion going on in the streets and onlookers had gathered to see what was going on.
Curious, he went to take a look as well. He was just in time to see a child be whipped to the ground by a familiar looking man riding in a cart. Was that... Chang CiAn? The man holding the whip urged the driver to keep going, but the child’s hand was in front of the wheel’s path. At this rate, it would be crushed.
“Stop! Hold on for a moment!” Xiao Xingchen urged, trying to push through the crowd to grab the child. But the driver didn’t halt and Xiao Xingchen could not reach the child fast enough. The child’s hand was crushed with a disgusting crunch and the boy’s shrieks and pained cries filled the air, drowning out everything else. Xiao Xingchen felt his stomach drop and his heart clenched. He felt sick - not only because of the horrible sight before him, but because he realized now, as he saw the detached finger on the ground, who that child was.
His search was over. He had finally found Xue Yang.