Chapter Text
This....
This is.....
Ridiculous.
Having faced down attempted coups, Lillian's constant disappointments, and multiple failed assassinations, Lena has gone through more than her fair share of high pressured situations, yet none of them, not a single one, have in any way remotely prepared her for THIS.
Unable to prevent the chuckle that bubbles out of her throat as the image of her mother seeing her only daughter like this pops into her head, Lena hears the slightly hysterical note in her voice even as she registers how not her voice it is.
What would Lillian say?
Naturally, she would make some quip about Lena needing to upgrade the safety protocols in L-Corps labs, seeing as the leak wasn't detected until too late and both she and James had been 'infected', but most likely she would smirk at her and say something along the lines of “Well, it looks like I have TWO bald sons now”.
Another burst of laughter escapes at that, in the warm husky drawl that Lena had become accustomed to during her time dating the attractive photographer and, as she stands in front of the mirror, staring at HIS visage while wearing HIS body, Lena finds some small comfort in the knowledge that out of all the men that she could have be unfortunate enough to have been stuck swapping bodies with, it just happened to be the one ex she has managed to maintain a friendship with.
****
“Lena, what the hell are we going to do?”
Does my face really do that scrunchy thing when I look panicked? Staring into her own visage, Lena can't help thinking and my voice gets kind of squeaky instead of answering the question James had just asked.
“Lena!”
Shaking off her musings, the distracted woman tries to focus, which she is finding exceedingly difficult to do when she is basically staring at herself flail in a way she she has never allowed herself to before. “James, the first thing you need to do is calm down”.
“Calm down? How the hell am I meant to calm down while I'm stuck inside your body, Lena?”
Pacing the room in bare feet (Lena had ordered him to take her heels off when she'd noticed he kept tripping over in them on the understanding that she didn't want to get her body back with a sprained ankle) James runs his hand across his head, only to find his fingers getting tangled in her hair.
Finding the display equal parts amusing and exasperating, knowing that her body was going to take a battering during it time under his control, the more together woman cant help quipping. “I seem to remember a time you quite enjoyed being inside my body”.
Jaw dropping in shock, James stares at her with incredulous eyes. “How can you be making jokes at a time like this?”
“Because levity is better than panic, and if we are to reverse the effects of what has been done to us we need clear heads, not ones filled with worry and confusion”.
Meeting his gaze coolly, Lena knows that despite her own internal freakout about the situation she needs to maintain her air of calm rationality for James' sake. Clearly having more trouble coming to terms with the fact that he is now, for all intents a purposes, a woman (he can thank societies pervasive sexism and macho bullshit that teaches children that being a woman is inferior to a guy) than Lena is with being a guy, she knows she will need to give him some time to adjust.
“What exactly HAS been done to us, Lena? What caused this?”
Sighing heavily, Lena rubs her forehead, absently noting the different texture of skin under her fingers, and moves over to the cabinet where she stores a bottle of scotch. Having been able to retreat to her office after their 'switch', the pair have been hiding out for the past half an hour while trying to process just what had happened.
Pouring two generous glasses, Lena hands one to James while taking a large gulp of her own. She then sits down at her desk and starts typing on her computer, bringing up the CCTV from the lab they had been in when everything had occurred. Transferring the footage onto the TV screen once she has found the correct section, the pair watch in silence for a few moments as Lena's employees bustle about busy with their day.
“The lab we were in is working on gender reassignment techniques.” Speaking quietly but assuredly, Lena gives James background information as they continue to stare at the screen. “Specifically, they are trying to find non invasive ways to help trans people get the body they deserve and should have been born with”.
“Lena that's.....That's HUGE”. Though staring at his own face is still hugely disconcerting, James is able to show how touched he is by the work Lena is spearheading.
“It will be when we get it right”. Indicating between them, Lena lifts an eyebrow wryly. “Clearly it's still a work in progress”.
Turning back to the screen they watch the rest of the staff filter out as five o'clock hits, and then Lena hits pause when she spots what she thinks is the cause of their current predicament.
Rewinding the footage slightly, she points out the culprit; a harried looking older man, to James, and they watch in silence as, instead of returning the sample of whatever he was working on to the safe like the rest of the scientists do at the end of his shift, he instead locks it in the drawer of his desk and rushes out.
“Of all the idiotic....” Sighing, knowing that she is going to have to fire the man for such a serious breach of their Health & Safety protocols, Lena feels no joy in the knowledge that he has brought unemployment on himself through his own incompetence.
“What was that blue stuff he put in his desk?”
Looking between the screen and Lena, James sees the hesitant look come over her/his face.
“Lena?”
“It was-” taking a deep breath, knowing the reaction she is likely to get, she grits her teeth as she says it “-blue Kryptonite”
“WHAT?”
Out of his seat at once, Lena watches as James leaps to his feet, anger taking over his features, and ruefully she thinks she can finally understand why her employees scurry away from her so fast when she is in one of her black moods.
“Lena, you KNOW how dangerous Kryptonite is! To Superman, to Supergirl. Why would you make it, again?”
“I do know how dangerous it is, which is why I made sure the version I created does nothing to Kryptonians”. Lifting her chin defiantly, Lena meets her own fiery green eyes calmly.
“How can you be sure?” Still agitated, James paces up and down her office, though the restriction of the skirt he is wearing forces him to take shorter strides than he would like. “The different ways various types of Kryptonite can affects Kryptonians is not always apparent at first, like with red K, and can have more of a slow build effect”.
“Which is why I spoke to Supergirl about it before using it in any of my trials, and spent six months studying an infected sample of her blood under a microscope to see if it had any type of long term effect on her”.
“You what?” Caught out by that unexpected piece of information, James halts in his pacing and turns to looks at her.
“Supergirl and I are in a good place again, I wasn't about to screw that up”.
Feeling uneasy now that they are on a subject closer to home, a subject involving her feelings, Lena wishes she was in her own body as she knows how to control her own reactions behind the walls there. Instead, she tries to ignore the way her mouth goes dry at the memory of how soft the smile had been on Supergirl's lips when she'd realized that Lena had been asking for her permission to do something involving Kryptonite before doing it, or the way she'd clasped Lena's hand between both of her own when she'd said that she trusted her with her life.
“Alex brought me a vial of Supergirl's blood, I didn't ask how she got it but I assume during one of the times she was injured fighting one of the many big bads our fair city seems to attract, and I exposed it to the blue Kryptonite”.
“What happened?” Intrigued despite his own reservations, James can't help asking.
“Nothing”. Shrugging her shoulder, Lena finishes her drink. “I studied that sample every single day for six months, and the Kryptonite remained inert. It didn't bond or react with her blood in any way, and at the end of the six months when I sent in my nanobots to remove them, there was absolutely no trace after that they had ever been there”.
“Wow”. Slightly stunned by Lena's thoroughness, James feels a bit shamefaced for his earlier reaction and sits back down in his seat sheepishly. “But if it did nothing, then how was it going to help with gender reassignment?”
“Ah!” Lighting up now that she has been asked something scientific, Lena clicks some buttons on the tablet next to her and brings up the research for the project. “See, I made sure it was inert for Kryptonians, but for humans it's very much active!”
The screen is filled with a host of calculations and scientific equations, all of which looks like babble to James, and the only thing he can read is the projects title.
It's called Project Butterfly?”
Flushing slightly, Lena rubs the back of her neck self-consciously. “I thought it was appropriate. Trans people often see themselves as in the wrong body, so to me they are the caterpillar. With my work here I want to give them the chance to turn into the beautiful person, the butterfly, they already are on the inside; without having to undergo all the painful and expensive medical procedures that normally form part of that process”.
“How is it meant to work?”
Taking the tablet back, Lena clicks a couple of buttons and the screen morphs into a simulation. As they watch, Lena describes what is happening. “So, essentially the blue Kryptonite is a kind of Yin and Yang element. What was light it turns dark, dark to light, male to female, that type of thing. We've managed to change the DNA of several animal species with it so far, all successfully, and had no reported side effects”.
As they watch, the image on the screen morphs from a male rat to a female, and then flicks through a montage of different animals; rabbit, cat, dog, and monkey.
“What about human trials?”
Gritting her teeth as the image of all the deaths her Harun'el trials caused flashes into mind, Lena feels her throat close up, and she has to swallow heavily before she can answer. “No. It's far too soon for that. I want to be a hundred per cent sure it's safe before trials start”.
“Well, I think that horse just bolted”.
Hearing the dry chuckle come from her own throat, Lena glances across to see James looking at her with an expression of wry amusement on his face.
Glad that he managed to pull her out of he her maudlin thoughts, Lena gives him a small rueful laugh in return. “Yeah, I guess that's true. But now I'm wondering if all our experiments were successful in gender reassignment or just body swapping”.
“Do you think that's what caused us to do....this?” Flapping his hands up and down his body, James indicates his 'Lena' outsides.
“I have a theory about that”. Pressing fast forward on the TV screen, she moves the footage on to where the pair of them enter the lab. Pressing play when they arrive, a little after nine pm, they watch themselves converse, heatedly, as Lena narrates. “So, by this time the sample of blue Kryptonite in the drawer has had about four hours to permeate the air, which means we were contaminated the second we walked in the room”.
Despite the situation, Lena had still had the presence of mind to make James and herself go through the decontamination procedure upon leaving the lab, and had sent in her nanobots to scrub the entire area clean.
Watching the screen now, remembering that James had only followed her down to the lab as he'd wanted to continue their argument, Lena sighs. “I'm sorry you got caught up in yet another L-corp experiment gone wrong, James, but I did ask you to leave before we got to the lab”.
“Trust me, no one's more sorry than I am right now”. Looking contrite, James offers her a small smile. “No hard feelings?”
“As long as you don't accuse me of attempting to hit on your sister again, no”.
“You really didn't?”
There is still a hint of disbelief in his tone, and Lena knows that despite everything his insecurities about her bisexuality still plague him.
“Lets get back to the matter at hand, hmm?” Choosing to ignore him rather get into the same circling argument that has played a part in their eventual breakup, Lena turns back to the tablet. “My intent with the Kryptonite was to flip a persons DNA, change it from male to female or vice versa, in order to allow trans people to access the body they want. The tests we did showed this to be successful, but we were testing on animals. We had no way to know if we were actually switching consciousnesses instead”.
“So all your experiments might just have been mind swaps?”
“Possibly, yes”. Feeling incredibly disheartened at the thought that the breakthrough she'd thought she was nearing might actually be a complete falsehood, Lena longs for another drink. “I'd need to comb through every piece of data to be sure, find out whether the tests were conducted on individuals or batches, and if different genders were kept near enough to each other for any mix ups to be written off ass them being placed in the wrong cage”.
“So how do we get back into our bodies? Do we just go back down and inhale that stuff again?” Hopeful expression on his face, James looks ready to leap out of his seat and run down the thirty odd floors to reach the lab.
“Unfortunately it won't be that easy, at least not tonight”. Grimacing at the crestfallen look her words produce, Lena can't help feeling disappointed too. “I set my nanobots to work the moment we left the lab, which means its probably already scrubbed clear of any trace of blue Kryptonite and therefore will do no good at turning us back to ourselves”.
“DAMMIT LENA!!”
Jumping to his feet once more, James bellows in frustration as he stomps his way across the room.
More than used to temperamental men throwing hissy fits, it is however the first time Lena has been able to witness herself have one. She finds that she doesn't care for the way her face goes slightly splotchy as her blood races, but seeing her eyes glow a dark iridescent green is a most captivating sight.
“The thought of remaining like this for longer than absolutely necessary is not exactly thrilling me right now either, James, but at the time we had no idea what caused this, so my priority was the safety of everyone in this building, and the city. I couldn't afford for whatever it was to leak out and contaminate anyone else, so the only recourse was for me to scrub the room”.
Standing up, Lena walks over to her purse and retrieves her phone, then sighs when it asks her to unlock it with her thumb print. Muttering under her breath about stupid biometric security protocols, she holds the device out to James.
“Thumb please”.
Still disgruntled, James nonetheless does as asked and places his thumb on the pad, unlocking the phone for her. “How soon can you switch us back?”
“That's what I'm about to find out”. Hitting dial on one of the preset numbers, it connects swiftly. “Brainy, it's L..yes, yes it James”. Shaking her head at the inquisitive look James is giving her out of the corner of her eye, she tries to concentrate on the phone call. “Lena's fine, she's with me now, but we actually need your help on something rather important, that's the reason I'm calling. How quickly can you get to L-corp? Okay, great. See you then”.
****
“No!”
Staring at Lena as if she's just sprouted a second head, James looks aghast at her suggestion.
“It's one day”.
“Lena, what you're asking is...is...impossible!” Shaking his head adamantly, James refuses to entertain the idea as it is too preposterous to even consider.
“Come on, you run Catco without breaking a sweat, this is just the same”. Attempting a little flattery, knowing how he likes to have his ego stroked, Lena tries to sway him. “I'll even get Jess to clear my schedule of anything but the most unavoidable of tasks”.
“Lena, how am I supposed to spend the entire day running your company, and get everyone to believe I'm you, when I can't even walk in god-damn high heels without falling on my face!” Feeling himself start to freak out a little, James once again curses the restrictiveness of Lena's clothes. “Can't you just call in sick for the day?”
“Unfortunately C.E.O's don't get the luxury of days off, even on the days they get kidnapped or have attempts made on their life, so I'll be damned if a little body swap is going to keep me away from doing my job”. Snapping at him slightly, sharing in his frustration that they will have to wait 24 hours in order for Brainy to get enough time away from the DEO in order to recreate the conditions with the blue Kryptonite, she can't help snarking. “Just be glad you didn't jump into my body last week, or you'd be craving cookie dough ice cream and really bad rom coms right now”.
Watching as the connection is made, she can't help finding the amount of panic that flashes across his eyes at the thought of dealing with female monthly issues on top of female societal problems like high heels, incredibly amusing.
“You can wear my biker boots, they're wide heels so you won't trip over, as long as you promise you won't screw up my meeting with the Japanese. I've been working too long to bring it to fruition to see it all go down the toilet now”.
Still looking reluctant, but relieved that he won't have to contend with towering death-traps on every step, James eventually nods. “I'll agree, on one condition”.
Looking wary, Lena narrows her eyes cautiously. “What would that be?”
“You have to do my make up in the morning”.
“Of course”. Relieved, Lena nods. “I wouldn't want 'me' going to work looking like a streetwalker now would I!”