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Tony looks at Strange, face grave and utterly serious, and feels his heart clench. The look the wizard is giving him says it all.
One universe out of fourteen million and something others. This can be that universe, if only he is able to be what everyone seems to see him as.
And suddenly he is moving, throwing himself at the Mad Titan who dared to steal away his son, his kid (he remembers Peter confused and scared, apologising as he faded away, he could do nothing but watch and speak beautiful, ugly lies). He clings onto the gauntlet for only a brief moment before being tossed to the side, but it's enough.
This time, when Thanos snaps his fingers, Tony's world does not disintegrate before his very eyes. Peter Parker remains in the heat of battle, firing webs and fending off enemies with his usual zeal, and fondness tugs at his heart. He can see Rhodey, his platypus, and Pepper in Rescue, sleek and purple and breathtaking.
He's no fool. He knew what price they might have to pay, he might have to pay, to win against Thanos. The stones slot themselves into his own gauntlet, though not as gaudy and golden as the other (and, in his correct opinion, much easier in the eyes), and when Thanos pulls the classic villain catchphrase move, he tilts his head up and activates the gauntlet.
And then - pain. Pain, agony, more than he's ever known. His arm is burning, surrounded by glowing energy, and there's something in him, the barest dredges of self-preservation, screaming for him to let go. But Tony is stubborn, and most of all, he's desperate.
For what, he's not entirely sure. For peace, maybe. A chance to rest. Desperate for Morgan to grow up happy and carefree, like a normal child, even though his heart aches to leave her behind. For Pepper to... for Pepper to..
He's lived a life. A messy one, but a life nonetheless. But now, staring death in the face, Tony can't help but wish for more time. A chance to see Morgan off on her first day at school, to frame her perfect report card, to watch her graduate, to walk her down the aisle.
It seemed so easy before - a life for so many more - but he's about to die. Tony wants to watch his baby daughter grow up. He wants to grow old with his wife. He wants to see Peter come into his own as a superhero. He wants all the little moments he won't be there to see, the smiles and the laughs and the hugs.
He wants to live. But all the universe seems to do is take and take and take. He will let it take his life for victory.
"And I..."
It's cheesy and stupid, but his life flashes before his eyes. His parents, warm yet cold, close yet distant. Rhodey, young and bold, always there to support him. Pepper, freckled and fierce, not afraid to confront Tony Goddamn Stark when it came down to it. Happy, doggedly loyal, even to a fault.
"Am..."
Afghanistan. His face being shoved into the water over and over again, Pepper screaming in his head as the car battery in his chest sputters and tugs. Yinsen, quietly contemplative, the one to push him into action.
The Avengers, all gathered to fend off the Chitauri. Steve, the righteous Captain, but Tony can't find the heart to be resentful. Thor, boisterous and wielding a flying hammer, so different to now. Natasha, clever and terrifying, and he mourns the woman who let herself fall. Clint, quick-witted and snarky, sans the mohawk and tattoos. Bruce, his science bro, meek and intelligent until he snapped.
Everything is flying by his eyes, all of his precious memories, big and small. He watches him and Pepper kiss for the first time, watches Rhodey testing his prosthetics, watches Peter hold his internship certificate upside down and misjudge his height, watches Morgan giggle and wrap her tiny hand around his finger.
"Iron Man."
He snaps his fingers and lets the universe do what it does best.
Energy slams through the gauntlet, burns through his body, and is released into the world. There's some sort of gleeful satisfaction as the alien army turns into dust. Their side pauses and watches in awe as dust is collected by the wind. Ashes to ashes.
It feels like fire in his very veins, blazing across his skin. Tony is burning alive, slumped against something unidentifiable, gauntlet heavy in his ravaged hand. He registers Rhodey land in front of him, can see and hear Peter sob and break. All Tony wants to do is reach out and run his hand through his kid's hair one last time and tell him that he loves him, but his fingers twitch and falter.
If he could, he would scream.
Pepper lands and crouches down, hands shaking and tears leaking from the corner of her eyes. His wife, his beautiful, unbreakable wife. Their daughter is far away, waiting at home for her parents to come back, only one of them won't. Tony is never going to see his daughter again.
I love you, he wants to say. I love you so much, I'm scared, please don't leave me, I don't want to die. Tell Morgan I love her, tell Peter I love him, tell Rhodey I love him, tell Happy he's great because he'd get mad at the sentimentality. I'm sorry. He can't say it, but Pepper seems to understand.
"We're gonna be fine, Tony," she murmurs, voice tremulous. His side is still searing, and it hurts even to breathe. There is so much pain.
Well, of course there is. He's dying. There are no backup plans, no failsafes, no miraculous alien cures that could heal him. He is going to die, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
"You can rest now."
It's like a sigh of relief, deep in his soul, as the world fades to black around him. He wants to be a hero, they need him to be a hero, but in the end, Tony Stark is only human. Humans are vulnerable, breakable, so temporary compared to the permanence of space. Humans cannot outrun the inevitable.
He's tired, bone-achingly tired, and he has been for a long time. But Pepper is there, tears slipping down her face, and behind her Rhodey and Peter clutch each other as they cry. Pepper would never lie to him, not like that. He clings to her words, her mercy, as he slips away.
It is his first peaceful sleep in a long time. Tony hopes it lasts forever.