Work Text:
The pain Alya felt was unlike anything she felt before. It was a mixture of torn muscles, broken ribs and exhaustion that was settled deep inside of her body and mind. The Dragonborn couldn’t even remember the last time she slept throughout the whole night peacefully. Water dripped from her raven dark hair, sliding down the dragon bone knight armor alongside fresh blood that oozed through the makeshift bandages.
With heavy breathing, the woman finally made her way to the imperial camp, limping like a kicked dog. The guards frantically opened the gates as they saw her, shouting for their leader and his friends. The only name that stood out to her was her lover’s.
„Rigmor,“ Alya whispered, her voice weak after using Thu’um too much during the fight. The world was blurry, yet only she was clear as a moon in the midnight sky.
She must’ve heard her, because the younger girl started sprinting towards her, eyes full of questions. Rigmor practically jumped at the Dragonborn, arms wrapping around her in a bone crushing hug. The pain forced tears into Alya’s healthy eye, but she managed to softly return it.
„You really are something, you know. If you were someone else…“
They separated, Alya looking down at Rigmor, smiling kindly.
She didn’t return the happiness.
„Wait, aren’t you happy to see me?“ the Dragonborn asked, suddenly feeling as if her world was spinning.
From then on, the conversation went to shit.
They argued again, but this time the black haired woman felt as if she wasn’t… really there. It was as if her body and soul seperated and she was now staring at her body, which was without any sort of boundaries.
„This… this isn’t over!“ Rigmor yelled, turned around and ran off, leaving the Dragonborn and their friends dumbfounded.
Burning rage that was bottled deep inside of Alya started break free. Her vision turned red and the only thing that was running though her mind was: „You know nothing.“
Alya suspected something was wrong with her. Ever since Morag… kissed her, if you can call it like that, she felt weak, sluggish, her old wounds started to hurt again. During the fight between Boethia and Molag Bal, the Dragonborn recieved way more hits than she would’ve liked, which almost made her struck the wrong Deadra. The young Nord didn’t realize it at the time, but not only physical scars started to bleed again, alas, nightmares and horrors from her past clouded her judgement. That is why Alya found herself now screaming at the top of her lungs at the one girl she held closest to her heart.
„I just can’t sometimes believe you!“ the Dragonborn paced around the tent. She breathed heavily and little beads of sweat formed on her forhead under the helmet. „After everything we’ve been through! After everything I’ve done for you, for US!“
At first, Rigmor was stunned. She didn’t expect Alya to follow her, especially when Blackwell is waiting. But, here they were, arguing again, not even two minutes later after the first one. Unlike the Dragonborn, who was pacing around, sounding as if she was about to collapse, the younger warrior sat down on her bed, arms crossed and thoughts racing.
„Look, I’m sorry-“
She din’t get to finish.
„NAHLOT!“ Alya roared in dovahzul. The ground shook, the lonely table and chair fell down. Rigmor could’ve sworn that for a second, fire danced in Alya’s remaining silver eye.
„No matter what I do, you just don’t seem to trust me!“ with her right hand, the Dragonborn grabbed one of the horns on her helmet and put it away, revealing the fresh tear trace. „Your sorry is starting to mean nothing!“
There was desperation in her words that hurt the countesses heart more than any blade would. At the same time, she felt her own spark coming to life. Unfortunately, Alya was usually the calm one.
„Hey, what do you mean by that?“
„I mean that we’ve been through this before. You speak before you think! Do you seriously think I would do anything with that blood-sucking monster?“
Rigmor jumped up, arms open, sarcastic chuckle escaping her lips. „Well, it’s not me who just went missing for the past four years! Only Gods know what you were doing!“
Something snapped in Alya. The pent up frustration and rage she kept in check since she arrived was fighting it’s way to the surface.
The woman threw her helmet to the side and made her way towards Rigmor, screaming, „BUT THAT’S THE THING! I actually WENT missing!“ She was now in the girl’s face, forcing her to step back. „They took me and made sure I wouldn’t get away!“
„W-who?“
„The Order! Who else?!“ Alya yelled, voice breaking in the end. Tears were freely falling down. It all felt like in slow-motion. Words escaped out of the Dragonborn’s mouth withtout any restrain, not giving Rigmor chance to speak.
„They got me shortly after you left. Som-some remaining fuckers decided gang up and take me down. Around thirty? One paralyze spell was all it took…“ the end was more quieter, painful.
„Alya…“ Rigmor reached out and grabbed her left hand. No response.
„They decided that keeping me imprisoned was the best idea. Silver collar kept me silent and from changing.“ Silence fell over them, but the burning fire inside the half-beast was far from being extinquished.
„You acuse me of not loving you, of forgetting you. You were safe in your keep while they tortured me with everything under the sun,“ Alya shook off Rigmor’s hand, „demanding to know where you went! They stabbed me! Poisoned me! Burnt me, froze me, shocked me, drowned me!“ the shouting was back.
„FOr three years! THREE-FUCKING-YEARS! They mocked me, took away my dignity. I LOST MY EYE. LEFT SIDE OF MY BODY WENT NUMB!“
The Dragonborn staggered back, almost losing her balance. The whole world was spinning, at the same time, everything felt distant, hazy. Rigmor tried to get closer to her lover, but she pushed her away, rather harshly.
„ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! I went literally to Oblivion and back for you. I faced an invasion for you. I was brought to the brink of death and back every day for three years for you!“
Alya’s vision started to darken. Everything went quiet. The Dragonborn felt her legs give up from underneath her. No pain from the impact came. Somehow, Rigmor caught her just in time. But before Alya went away, she managed to whisper a quiet: „And I’d do it again, only for you.“