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When Steve entered the communal living room at seven in the morning dressed for his morning jog, he wasn't expecting to see Tony seated on the couch, back to him, various baby items spread around him. It wasn't new to Steve, or any of the Avengers, that Tony had a baby now, but they rarely saw him and rarely saw the baby that had been named Peter. If Tony knew he was there, he made no signs of it, Steve cautiously making his way over to the tense billionaire.
He peered over the couch, his heart warming when he saw the little bundle in Tony's arms, asleep, though his small face was covered in tears. Tony was awake, staring down at his son with glistening eyes, worry immediately running through Steve's veins when he saw the look on Tony's face. He looked terrified of the small human coddled up in his arms, Steve picking up the small flinch that went through his teammate's body when the baby shifted in his arms. The child made small snuffling sounds around the pacifier that was in his mouth as he did so, his little fists clenching, Steve smiling slightly at the adorable sight.
"Tony?" Steve asked, slowly rounding the couch to sit next to his friend. Tony hadn't been on the communal floor since Peter was born, mostly keeping residence in the penthouse suite of the tower. Steve had seen Peter before, he looked exactly like Tony, but he hadn't gotten to hold him yet. No one had. Tony seemed dead set on looking after his baby by himself, Steve knowing that it was going to end badly. Without the mother in the picture, without him being together with Pepper anymore, Tony was basically taking this on with no one to support him. "Are you okay?"
"He finally stopped." Tony whispered, his thumb running over the side of Peter's small face. Peter was almost a month old, and was a tiny baby. He was premature, but healthy, and Steve could see how much this little human meant to Tony already. "I couldn't get him to stop crying for hours, Steve. Hours. I'm terrible at this. I'm ruining him already. Babies aren't supposed to cry for that long."
"You're not ruining him, Tony." Steve replied instantly, sitting down beside his friend. "You're far from ruining him."
"I'm just like Howard was." Tony whispered, completely ignoring everything Steve had said. He seeing the tears clinging to Tony's eyelashes as he looked down at Peter, though the amount of love that was displayed in his expression was obvious. "I can't do this, Steve. He's too fragile, too breakable. I don't want to do what Howard did."
"You're nothing like Howard." Steve replied, though he was still struggling to adapt the image of Howard Stark he had before the ice, and the one that had been described to him by Natasha. "I didn't know the man when he was married, but I know you're nothing like what I've been told he turned into."
"Howard was a drunk. He hit me." Tony mumbled, Steve trying not to explode with anger at the thought of someone who had once been a good friend to him hurting their own son like this. "I don't want that to happen to Peter. I'll ruin him like Howard ruined me. Look at him, Steve! He's so tiny, beautiful, I don't deserve to have him. He should be with his mother, not me. My life is so dangerous, I don't want to let that get to him too."
"You're not a drunk." Steve snapped, resting his hand on Tony's shoulder when they began to shake. Steve almost couldn't believe what he was seeing, though kicked himself for not realising how Tony was feeling until now. He knew the man wasn't coping well with the new addition to his life, but he had no idea that it would be this bad. Some friend he was, not realising that Tony, a new parent, was on the brink of a breakdown. "By what I'm seeing now, you're already doing so much more than Howard would have done. You love Peter. You deserve to have him."
"Of course I love him, Steve." Tony snapped, though there wasn't any of it's usual bite to it. "I was never supposed to be a Dad, not like this. He wasn't supposed to come from an accident."
"Doesn't matter if he was an accident or not. He's changed your life for the better, hasn't he?"
"Yes." Tony's eyes hadn't left Peter since Steve had arrived. "He shouldn't grow up with me as his Dad."
"You're not Howard, Tony." Steve felt like he was repeating himself, his eyes flickering down to the small face of Tony's child. "You're going to be an amazing father. Of course there's going to be hard times, but that comes with parenting, doesn't it? You'll be okay. You have me, you know. You have all of us. We're all willing to help you when you need it."
Steve immediately felt bad when he saw a singular tear leak down Tony's cheek, fearing that he had said something terribly wrong and was going to make things worse. But when Tony looked at him, a watery and lop-sided smile on his face, Steve couldn't resist showing his own smile.
"Thanks, Cap." Tony whispered, before looking back down at his son. "Even though it's probably not true, you have no idea how much I needed to hear it."
Steve frowned. "It's true, Tony. Why would you think that?"
"I've never really been apart of the team. You know that." Tony sighed, slowly easing one hand from under his son before wiping his eyes. "God, this parenting thing has turned me into a fucking emotional wreck."
"You've always been apart of the team. It's okay to show emotion, Tony. You have a baby, now, of course it's going to take it's toll on you."
"I need to be stronger for him, though."
"You already have been."
It fell silent between them for a few moments, Tony's hand having moved up to rest on Steve's, which still lay on his shoulder. Tony was shaking his head, as if he couldn't believe it, continuing to look down at his son as if he were the entire world. Peter meant, from what Steve could see, the literal world to Tony even if he had been there for only a month. It was beautiful to watch, and Steve couldn't help but wonder what would have happened to Tony if he didn't have this child.
He had spiralled after New York, everyone knew that. Pepper left him because of it, and in a result, Tony slept around and ended up knocking someone up. No one knew who the woman was and no one had ever seen her. The most Steve knew, was that the woman was out of the picture and wouldn't be in it for a long time.
He wished he knew. He might have been able to help.
"I can't believe I helped make him." Tony mumbled after a few moments, pulling Steve's hand to hold it in what he would have assumed as a more comfortable position. Steve kept his face blank as Tony spoke, waiting for the opportunity to speak. "I didn't know I could make something so beautiful."
"You've always created beautiful things." Steve replied, seeing the ghost of a smile on Tony's lips. "Will you let us help you?"
"I just thought that maybe, if I did this on my own, it would prepare me better. If I get help, it feels like I'm passing him on to someone else like my parents did to me." Tony was mumbling so low that Steve could hardly hear him, save for the super soldier serum running through his veins. "I don't want Peter to ever feel like that."
"He won't." Steve said, squeezing Tony's hand. "You've already done an amazing job, everyone can see that. You've already done so much more."
"I hate hearing him cry." Steve hated the way Tony's voice shook and wavered, finally looking back up at Steve. "It hurts, Steve. It stresses me out because I have no idea what to do or how to help."
"Babies cry." Steve stated, rather bluntly, though Tony didn't seem to take it the wrong way. "You'll get the hang of it, Tony, I know you will."
Tony let out a heavy sigh, before nodding his head a few times. "Thanks, Cap."
It fell silent a second time, the three of them sitting there in a comfortable silence, before Tony broke it yet again.
"You should go on your jog, Capsicle. I think you've heard enough of my shit show of a life."
"It's not a shit show." Steve replied, squeezing Tony's hand. "I'm always willing to listen if you're struggling. I don't care when. Just don't suffer alone."
"I'm not alone. I have him." Tony looked back down at Peter, another smile ghosting his lips.
"And us." Steve repeated himself, wondering if he was getting to Tony at all. "You're a good man."
"Gonna take me a while to believe that."
Steve didn't end up going on his morning jog.
Instead, he stayed with Tony, chatting peacefully and while Peter slept through it all, right up until Clint entered the room. The man's excitement of finally seeing Tony's son startled everyone, but Steve could see how at ease Tony was becoming. He was no longer tense or on the brink of tears. He was smiling.
Sure, this was only the beginning, but Steve knew it would get better for him.
Sixteen years later, when Peter was a teen, Steve knew he had been proven right. There was nothing that Tony wouldn't do for his son. Peter, at fourteen, had gotten bitten by a radioactive spider on a school trip. Now, at sixteen, he was Spider-Man, Steve seeing the boy following in the footsteps of his father. Watching Peter, along with Tony, grow up was something Steve would cherish forever.
He never expected for the two to end up in space, and for only Tony to return after Thanos' decimation.
And like that, in the same spot on the couch when Steve had found Tony sixteen years ago, Steve held Tony while he mourned the loss of his baby.
He hoped, from here, that it would get better.
It had to.