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“do you think we’ll find our way out?” felix rests his head on changbin’s shoulder. changbin sighs, devoid of energy. the rattle of the bus that takes them nowhere works in correlation with the buzz of the barely lit bulb connected to the ceiling of their transit.
“i’m not sure,” changbin replies and grips felix’s small hand in his palm, “maybe one day we’ll find jeongin again, though.”
the bare rustle of small talk surrounding them by their peers isn’t enough to drown felix’s worries. he averts his gaze from the window to focus on a man in the booth to their left. his choppy brown hair falls over his eyelids as he fiddles with his bus ticket.
felix just resorts to curling back into changbin’s side. he wishes he could sleep forever.
when he wakes up the stars have begun to lace over the horizon. the land surrounding his view is bleak and dusty and smells of iron. changbin moves him ever so slightly to alert him they’re at their stop.
felix watches the man from the seat across them slide off the bus, still playing with the torn ends of his bus ticket.
“we can always talk to him, yeah?” changbin suggests. felix shakes his head no, unwilling to face the idea of losing another person.
they’re assigned a hut to stay in for safety. felix holds in his tears and swallows thickly to push out the burn in his throat over missing their residence back home. replaying memories of the warm glow of candles and chan pulling out monopoly for the eighth time in a month. eventually the air was toxic enough to kill half the population due to low oxygen. the sun barely rose enough to set again. felix gave up on keeping track of time after seungmin passed.
he found solace in changbin when the going got tough. he promised to protect felix as if his life depended on it. felix only giggled.
“you can’t fight the world, silly.”
“why would i want to fight you anyways?”
changbin sees felix examining his surroundings. he became quite well at picking up on felix’s mood changes, “don’t be upset, lix.”
“that’s impossible.”
“not unless i’m here,” changbin wraps his arms instinctively around felix’s waist. he squeezes a bit for reassurance. he’s just as fearful as losing felix as felix is of losing him.
the sun rises for a little bit and felix stretches his limbs in what little warmth he can soak up. the male with the mop of brown hair resides in between two huts and inhales a sharp intake of oxygen. felix frowns in admiration, jealous he can’t do the same. his lungs are weaker than most.
changbin wants to kiss him for hours. felix says sorry when he’s short of breath. he feels bad about it. changbin just caresses his sides and tells him it’s okay.
“maybe the move is good,” felix mumbles while picking at the food in front of him, “or at least i hope so.”
changbin sits diagonal from him resisting the urge to move closer. he raises his glass to finish a quick sip of water before collecting his thoughts.
“i had a good feeling, a small one though,” he replies. felix nods and smiles loosely. changbin feels his blood rush at felix’s cheeks turning a shade of dusty pink from across his share of the makeshift dinner table.
he’s never been more sure he’d give his life for someone.
the cots are uncomfortable and felix finds himself adjusting his position multiple times. changbin’s heart cracks. he scoots closer to felix’s slightly chilled body without letting a word out. he drapes his arm around felix’s waist...
...and squeezes a little tighter to make sure he’s still there.
the sky is painted an icy grey color. angry billows meet to give the overcast view. wind tousles felix’s hair in every direction yet he’s lost the urge to care. the only person worth fighting for on this sick and twisted earth is changbin.
“hey,” a voice calls out. it rings through felix’s ears like a bell. foreign.
he turns around to meet the gaze of the male from the bus, eyes locked on his toes. felix only steps closer.
“i’m sorry,” he begins, “i have no one to talk to, really. i saw you on the bus yesterday.”
felix nods, “i saw you too. you need anything?”
“oh - uh, no thank you. just wanted to make sure everything’s alright.”
he feels a bit saddened by the tone of the male’s voice. he trembles a bit, “i’m felix.”
“minho.”
the conversation spreads like wildfire. felix can’t stop firing syllables. he can tell you minho’s favorite color, where he liked to shop, and why he carries that damn raggedy bus ticket,
“well you see, it’s kind of a long story. after i lost my parents i was by my lonesome until i caught this guy - jisung- trying to rob a corner store,” minho laughs a bit, “and i told him i’d keep it a secret if he’d share some of the snacks. we became really close and i felt as though he gave me purpose not to give up on this catastrophe.”
he toys with the loose strands of his coat pocket that’s slightly mangled, “it’s cliche. i knew i was in love, we did everything. us against the destroyer. one day he got so sick and i watched it all unravel. four days before the big move.”
felix bites his lip to hold back an overdramatic sigh of sympathy. he couldn’t imagine this predicament with changbin. he doesn’t want to.
in all honesty, he feels for minho. he has bright eyes, a kind smile, and a voice that could tell stories for days. the worst always happen to the best of us.
“he told me to make it out alive, be a part of the cure, save the world for christ’s sake. anyways, shortening the story. this was our first bus ticket together,” he holds the item up for reference, “i keep it with me to know he’s always there.”
felix tells him to come over for dinner. he relays the story to changbin. minho feels a little less alone in this tragedy.
by the time the stars dip into play, the three of them are content. felix told minho about his fairytale love story with changbin. minho jokes they should get married.
changbin smiles for the first time in forever.
the sun rises a little longer today and minho feels the awe of realization. realization that although he’s been royally fucked by life the comfort of friendship is still there. he feels warm inside knowing he has people he can (somewhat) depend on.
felix catches up with him on a run to the bus to grab an ear of corn. the win rustles past his eardrums and the clay-like dirt collects on his shoes. the laces of his converse are all muddy and the soles are crumbling away at the weight of his feet. changbin promised he’d have a new pair once this conundrum was at bay.
minho hears felix’s steps and whips his neck to face the young male.
“hi!” felix smiles warmly.
minho responds with the upturned corners of his mouth, “do you need any help?”
“that’d be great.”
weeks have passed and felix feels his chest growing weak. he doesn’t have the heart to let changbin know. his forehead is warm to the touch, muscles drag like wet noodles. his lung capacity is enough to suffice.
changbin cradles him as if he’s a newborn.
“bin,” felix begins, shaky and hesitant.
“i know, lix. there’s soup in the cabinet. i already asked minho to heat the stove over in woojin’s tent. i’ll run around and ask if anyone’s got a supply of oxygen if you need it.”
felix’s eyes well up with hot tears. he buries his head into changbin’s collarbone, “i love you.”
“always and forever.”
this moment is extraordinary, a once in a lifetime moment nowadays. the sky is a beautiful juicy orange and cotton candy pink. felix inhales short breaths of oxygen, as much as he can until his chest hurts from heaving. changbin knows he’s slipping away more each day but he keeps his calm. his exterior has always been strong and unfazed, however his interior is built with weak walls that were once sturdy.
he takes this chance before he may not be able to take it.
“lix,” he shakes, “i need to ask you something.”
the sunset shines on the ridge of felix’s cheek and changbin nearly feels like he’ll pass out. he pulls felix up to stand and the pair share an interlocked gaze.
changbin bends down to one knee and pulls out a velvet blue box with the brightest diamond ring sitting pretty in the center.
before he can even finish his sentence, felix is already a sobbing mess.
“yes.”
by sunday the toxicity in the air is worse.
“i want two kids one day,” felix beams at the idea.
changbin feels the weight of felix’s head on his chest and he decides comforting isn’t a good enough word to describe it. he feels like there’s purpose in felix. he knows they can’t live forever and the most they have are weeks but he plays along anyways.
“me too,” changbin replies, “a boy and a girl.”
“we’ll name the boy seungmin,” felix painfully smiles, “it’ll be in remembrance.”
come wednesday evening and felix can barely inhale enough to look alive. changbin spared him an oxygen tank. he wants this to be special.
it’s time.
the wind whips furiously outside of their hut. minho stands between the two, a candle burning on the table that resides behind him. woojin sits aside as the only guest proudly in his best attire.
felix cries and cries until his eyes are devoid of water. changbin looks at him like he’s the only - and most angelic - boy in the world.
“changbin,” minho cringes at the crack of wood from how hard the wind shakes, “do you take felix to be your lawfully wedded husband,” branches around the area fall, “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, f-for richer, for poorer,” he stutters, “sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?”
the sky glows a blinding yellow.
“i do,” changbin bites his cheek and allows himself to sob.
“felix,” minho recites the prior verse.
“i-i do.”
“you may now kiss the groom,” minho wipes his shedding tears and grips his bus ticket. felix and changbin feel closer than they have ever been.
woojin stands to clap and relocates to minho. he hugs him feverishly.
when they kiss the ground shakes. they embrace each other as everything crumbles. the steel beams that support the hut snap leaving them exposed. the sky burns and burns like fire.
changbin pulls back enough and settles wirh gripping felix tightly.
“i’ll protect you, i’ll love you. forever and always.”