Work Text:
It’s a little too late when Tony realises that this was a mistake.
See, in his mind inviting the sarcastic and outspoken little shit that was Harley Keener to the Compound for the summer holidays seemed like a great idea. And why wouldn’t it be?
He would get to catch up with the kid that saved his ass all those years ago, that kept him from just giving up completely, the kid that he continues to talk to, no matter how many times he says he can’t stand his annoying voice or how offended he pretends to be. And he could do it in the comfort of his own home, the home he carved himself out at the Compound in upstate New York, even after most of the people he considered his family left. He would get to spend time with Harley and his best friends, the friends who stayed with him through thick and thin. He would get to show him just what real friends are supposed to look like because lord knows Harley is lacking in the ‘good friends’ department. He would get to work on all kinds of different projects with this kid, because he knows that the kid is smart enough to keep up with him and he loves working with him, even though his suggestions for the Iron Man suit keep getting more and more ridiculous each time they talk.
And, if that wasn’t all, he would get to introduce Harley to the other kid, his kid, Peter. Peter, who was just as smart as Harley, if not more, who stole not only his heart but somehow managed to warm even Happy’s cold heart. He was sure they would get along great, because even though Peter is a lot shyer than Harley ever was, he knew that they would become fast friends.
Friends being the key word here.
Because no amount of planning or overthinking and worrying could’ve prepared him for this.
Harley basically clinging to Peter in the lab while they were working on something and constantly whispering in his ear.
Peter trying to be subtle by sitting as close to Harley as humanly possible on family game night.
Harley constantly making Peter blush with his honestly disturbing pick-up lines.
Peter occasionally calling Harley ‘Princess’ when the other somehow lost his ability to speak (seriously, what’s up with that? Harley never shuts up!) after seeing Peter work out.
Harley constantly winking at Peter.
Peter making Harley stutter when he lights up while ranting about new ways to improve their projects, making him blush when he walks around with his curly hair untamed.
The worst part? His friends think it’s hilarious.
Once they all figured out what was going on and saw how exasperated and overwhelmed Tony was with this entire situation, they decided to do what they did best: make it worse.
Rhodey suggesting that Peter should show Harley around New York City because ‘there is just no way Tony was able to show Harley all of it’ and ‘Peter knows New York City, especially Queens, better than anyone and can probably show Harley some of the best hidden treasures in the city’.
Pepper telling both teens that they should work on some projects together, just the two of them, because ‘you’re both incredibly smart and it would be good PR if we could tell the public that two genius kids work for SI and get to create new and interesting products’.
Happy refusing to drive the kids around because ‘didn’t Harley get his license already?’ and suggesting new restaurants and different types of food they could try at least twice a week.
Vision asking them if they could help him volunteer at the animal shelter, knowing how Peter gets around dogs and knowing how Harley gets around ‘soft Peter’.
Natasha making sure that that Peter is forced to basically sit in Harley’s lap on movie night and suggesting that Peter show Harley how to fight because ‘New York City is dangerous Harley’.
So yes, this was a bad idea. Terrible, really.