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‘Cold’ Jimin whispers what seems to be like a millionth time in his life. He’s trembling, his body stiff. It’s so cold that his face hurts from the contact with the cold air.
‘I know’ Jungkook whispers back and pulls him even closer, trying to give Jimin at least a bit of his warmth that he thinks he has. The truth is he is just as cold as Jimin but he’s always trying to somehow help Jimin.
‘I can’t feel my hands’ Jimin speaks up again, looking at Jungkook’s face. A cloud of vapour leaving his mouth as he breathes out.
Jungkook takes Jimin’s hands into his own and starts rubbing them slowly, breathing at them from time to time, his breath isn’t hot but still a bit warm. Jimin closes his eyes, as his hands are becoming warmer.
‘Better?’ Jungkook looks at him, still rubbing his hands.
‘Yes’ Jimin says, kissing his friend’s neck. ‘Thank you’ he whisperers and Jungkook smiles at him.
‘It’s colder tonight, tomorrow will be better’ Jungkook says and Jimin just nods, not pointing out that Jungkook promises that every night.
‘Try to fall asleep, I won’t stop rubbing your hands so you won’t feel bad again’
‘You have to sleep to’ Jimin frowns at his friend, shaking his head a bit.
‘I will, when you’ll fall asleep’ Jungkook promises again and leans down, kissing Jimin’s forehead.
‘Okay. I love you’ Jimin whisperers and kisses his friend’s neck again.
‘I love you too’ Jungkook answers, trying to pull him even closer, although he can’t since Jimin is already almost laying on top of him.
The silence starts ringing in Jungkook’s ears, and his head starts aching from the lack of sleep. Every night he’s staying up as long as he can to watch Jimin. He’s scared that his friend will freeze to death. It’s something that terrifies him, the possibility of his friend either dying at night because of the incredibly low temperature or starving to death. His heart is aching, because he can’t do anything, absolutely anything. He tried to get a job so many times, but no one wants to hire him, saying that he doesn’t have any school or experience.
Jungkook is seventeen and Jimin is one year younger than him. They met each other when he was only fourteen and he tried to break into the same convenience store as Jimin. He still remembers vividly how he saw a small, skinny boy, kicking the door as hard as he could. At first Jungkook was just watching him but when the small boy hurt his leg and started crying he approached him quickly. He took him to his apartment. Well, if a small room, two cabinets with a small sink as a kitchen and unbelievably small bathroom can be called an ‘apartment’. Jungkook’s studio flat is at the back of a tenement building and he was pretty sure that once it was a small workshop or something. Jungkook was homeless until he was twelve, then an old man who was living in this studio flat died and Jungkook ‘moved in’, which means he just took the studio flat without asking anyone. He didn’t know how was it possible that no one kicked them out yet.
So he took Jimin with him, a small and vulnerable boy, making a promise to himself that he’ll take care of him. It wasn’t easy, Jungkook was just a fourteen year old boy who was just as poor as Jimin, it’s just that Jimin was at the edge of death. Jungkook knew that even then, giving him his food even though he didn’t have much. He was keeping Jimin alive and before he knew, he realised he loved the boy. All his life he was lonely, but Jimin became his friend, his family .
It wasn't easy for Jungkook to make Jimin trust him, the younger boy had big trust issues and he didn't even let Jungkook touch him at first.
Jungkook didn’t remember his own family or his very early life and every time Jungkook asked Jimin about it, he didn’t want to say anything. He was shutting down for couple hours, eventually crying. Then Jungkook was cuddling him until the younger boy wouldn’t fall asleep. He stopped asking. He didn’t want to know if it was making Jimin feel so bad.
It’s around three in the morning and Jungkook is wondering how can he get something to eat for Jimin. They both haven’t eaten anything for two days and he was worried. Not about himself, because since he met Jimin he never worried about himself. He’s worried about Jimin, his fragile, poor Jimin that he loves so much. It hurts his heart, looking at him, his body still trembling, even while he’s sleeping.
The day has come and Jimin wakes up, squinting his eyes, the morning sun falling on his face. He sits up and immediately looks at Jungkook, smiling. Jungkook always was touched by the way Jimin was smiling at him every single day after waking up. Even though Jungkook couldn’t take a proper care of him, he was always smiling at him.
‘Good morning’ Jungkook whispers, brushing Jimin’s hair back.
‘Hello Kookie’ Jimin smiles again, his smile sweet like honey, he leans down and kisses Jungkook’s cheek, his lips cold. Cold cold cold . Jungkook thinks and sighs deeply.
‘Now that you woke up I have to go’ Jungkook says and touches Jimin’s face. Cold .
‘Do you have to?’ Younger boy pouts.
‘You haven’t eaten anything for two days, I have to’ Jungkook sighs again and gets up. ‘I’ll be back soon’ he says and kisses Jimin’s head. Then he leaves him alone, hoping that he won’t come back with empty hands again.
____
Jungkook is crying. He’s crying so hard that he’s body is trembling. He always tried to be strong but this time he couldn’t, he couldn’t control himself when he came back with nothing and Jimin just looked at him and just smiled like he knew .
‘Kookie please... Don’t cry... Don’t worry... please I’m really okay... I’m not that hungry anyway, it’s okay... Please Jungkook, look at me’ Jimin is hugging him, resting his chin on Jungkook’s shoulder. He can feel his breath on his cheek. Jimin’s voice is so sweet and sad that Jungkook gives up and looks at him. His friend’s eyes were full of tears, but he didn’t let any of them escape. ‘Please Kookie, don’t worry... tomorrow will be better’ Jimin smiles and Jungkook feels sharp pain in his rib cage, because Jungkook knew that was a lie he was telling Jimin every single day.
‘Jimin... I don’t know what to do... I can’t...’ Jungkook sobs quietly. ‘I can’t look at you... dying slowly’ Jungkook says and looks at Jimin again. Jimin looks angry. Not scared. Angry .
‘Stop Jungkook, I’m totally fine, the nights are cold but it’s okay!’ Jimin starts screaming, his eyes full of tears again. ‘I’m completely fine! You don’t have to worry about me! We’ll be fine, tomorrow will be better... yo-you sa-said that your-yourself... tomorrow will b-be be-better’ Jimin is crying too. Jungkook pulls him closer, hugging him. They are both crying, holding each other and trying not to fall apart.
They fall asleep like that, both exhausted from crying and stressing. When they wake up, they’re looking at each other, not saying a word. Jimin reaches for Jungkook’s hand and holds it, smiling softly. It wasn’t the first time they had a crisis like that.
‘Jungkook’ Jimin says and Jungkook frowns, because Jimin is using his full name only when it’s something important. It’s always Kookie or Guk-ah but never Jungkook.
‘Yes?’ Jungkook looks at him, stress building up with every second.
‘Remember that rich man from the third floor?’ Jimin stars carefully and Jungkook immediately freezes. ‘I was thinking-‘
‘Don’t think’ Jungkook cuts his words, squeezing Jimin’s hand.
‘But-‘
‘No!’ Jungkook raises his voice, eyes wide. ‘I cant believe you even thought about it... I told you that I’ll never, never let you do that. And I won’t change my mind!’ Jungkook lets go of Jimin’s hand, trying to get up, but Jimin immediately grabs him arm.
‘But Jungkook, you said-‘ he starts but Jungkook grabs his shoulders and looks at him, his eyes full of anger.
‘I know what I said and nothing I said appeals to what you said’ Jungkook says, maybe a bit too loud and maybe he was squeezing Jimin’s body too hard, but no one could blame him. ‘Jimin, promise me you won’t talk about it again’
‘I won’t’ Jimin says quietly, looking down.
‘Do you promise?’ Jungkook doesn’t let go of him, squeezing Jimin’s shoulders even harder.
‘I promise’ Jimin whispers and Jungkook sighs deeply, pulling the younger boy closer, hugging him and kissing his head.
‘I’m sorry I raised my voice but I can’t even think about you... He’s an old psycho, no one would offer sex for money to a child’ Jungkook shuts his eyes tight, rocking their bodies gently and massaging Jimin’s shoulders where he was squeezing them earlier.
‘I’m sorry too... I didn’t want to make you angry or stressed’ Jimin whispers and kisses Jungkook’s neck twice. Innocent, sweet pecks, showing that he’s really sorry. ‘I love you’
‘I love you too, Tiny’ Jungkook whispers and pulls him closer.
____
‘Jimin!’ Jungkook smiles and looks at Jimin, closing the door behind him. When he realises Jimin is asleep, he tip toes to him, kneeling. He caresses younger boy’s face with his thumb and waits. ‘Wake up, Jimin’ he whispers and Jimin opens his eyes slowly.
‘You... came back’ Jimin says quietly and smiles. Always smiling.
‘I came back. And I have something for you’ Jungkook says and puts two loaves of bread and two chocolate bars in front of Jimin.
‘Oh my god’ Jimin says and sits up quickly, looking at Jungkook with shiny eyes. ‘Ho-how did you get this?’ he asks and touches one of the chocolate bars.
‘It doesn’t matter, what matters is the fact that you’ll eat’ Jungkook shakes his head and goes to the bathroom to wash his hands. When he comes back, he takes one bread and after he slices it, he comes back to Jimin.
‘Eat baby’ Jungkook says and laughs a bit. He’s so happy that Jimin can eat and get the energy, Jungkook knows that he won’t feel so cold at night too. Jimin takes the first bite and smiles at Jungkook, bouncing happily. He always does that while eating.
‘You stole it, right?’ Jimin asks and Jungkook’s smile fades. He doesn’t want Jimin to know how he got the food. Jimin looks at him and his gaze is soft, he doesn’t judge.
‘Yeah, that’s why you have to eat quickly’ Jungkook says in a playful tone and tickles Jimin.
‘Oh no, I hate tickles’ Jimin whines and Jungkook laughs a bit.
‘I know baby’ He says and takes a bite of his bread.
‘You’re in a good mood’ Jimin says, smiling and taking a bite as well.
‘Why do you think so?’ Jungkook asks, looking at him and frowning, trying to look angry.
‘You’re not fooling me, I know when you’re angry’ Jimin laughs, throwing his head back cutely ‘I think you’re in a good mood because you call me baby and you do that when you’re in a really good mood’ The younger boy says and looks at Jungkook’s reaction.
‘Oh really? I... I haven’t noticed’ Jungkook says and smiles a bit.
‘I’m full’ Jimin pats his tummy and rubbs his neck.
‘I’ll put it away for later’ Jungkook says and stands up, picking a plate with bread to put it on the table. Yes, they had a table, a small, old table that was barely standing. ‘You still have a dessert’ he smiles and grabs a chocolate bar, giving it to his friend.
‘You’re not going to eat yours?’ Jimin asks, his eyes big.
‘No, I’ll eat it later’ Jungkook smiles and sits down again. ‘Does your neck hurt?’ he asks, putting the blanket on Jimin’s laps.
‘Just a bit, I think it happened while I was sleeping’ Jimin answers and openes his chocolate.
‘Come here’ Jungkook says and the younger boy places himself on his laps.
‘This chocolate is so good, are you sure you don’t want to try it?’ Jimin asks, looking at him.
‘I’m sure’ he says and starts massaging his friend’s neck, making him sigh a bit. His neck really must hurt.
‘This feels so good, you’re the best friend I’ve had’
‘I’m the only friend you’ve had’ Jungkook laughs loudly.
‘Yeah, the only and the best’ Jimin says, laughing too.
It’s one of those moments when Jungkook is happy. Jimin is relaxed, leaning his back against Jungkook’s chest, he’s eating and they’re not freezing. If only every day could be like this one.
_____
‘Are you full?’ Jungkook asks Jimin, worried because they ate all the bread already.
‘Yes, I am’ Jimin smiles, but Jungkook can’t smile back, he’s worried. ‘Hey, what’s going on?’ Jimin puts his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, looking at him, eyes big.
‘We have no food again... oh except-‘ he grabs his chocolate bar from yesterday and hands it to Jimin. ‘Here’
‘No, it’s yours’ Jimin refuses to take it, pouting in the cutest way.
‘I left it for you’ Jungkook tries to smile, but Jimin can clearly see he’s faking.
‘No, eat it, it’s yours’ the younger boy crosses his arms.
‘Jimin, I left it for you, I know you love chocolate and I’m not a chocolate person, just eat the damn chocolate’ Jungkook says, slightly raising his voice. ‘Just eat it, please ’
And Jimin sees how desperate Jungkook is, how stressed and worried he is again because they have no food again. So he takes the chocolate and eats it, making Jungkook smile a bit. Jimin can’t know that Jungkook haven’t eaten his portion of bread today, so Jimin could eat more. Jimin can’t know, because Jungkook would never tell him. Jungkook doesn’t mind, he does that every time they have some food. He lets Jimin eat more than him, because Jimin loses his weight faster than him. He’s also weaker when it comes to health.
Jungkook was always healthy, despite not eating properly and being constantly cold during the autumn and winter. This time something is wrong and he knows it, although he doesn’t tell Jimin. Jungkook feels weaker and weaker every day and he’s scared. He’s terrified. Who’s gonna take care of Jimin if I’ll get sick or die? Who’s gonna feed him ? He doesn’t know if he is going to die, but those are the kind of thoughts he has for some time now.
‘Come here’ Jungkook says and pulls Jimin close, hugging him and kissing his head. ‘I love you Jimin, I want you to know that. You’re the only person I trust and you’re my only family’ Jungkook whispers and closes his eyes.
‘Jungkook... you’re shivering’ Jimin is concerned, Jungkook knows but he’s so scared . ‘Let’s lay down, hm?’ he asks and Jungkook nods, laying down and pulling Jimin close to himself.
He falls asleep and when he wakes up, he sees Jimin looking at him. The younger boy smiles, as always. Jungkook reaches and touches his face, his bony, tiny face. His cold face.
‘I have to go’ Jungkook looks at Jimin, how his smile fades away.
‘Don’t go’ Jungkook closes his eyes and breathes in deeply.
‘I have to’ he says and sits up, rubbing his face.
‘You look exhausted’ Jimin whines, holding his hand.
‘I’m not. I’m fine’ Jungkook lies and tries to get up again.
‘Please, please stay with me, I have a bad feeling today, please stay with me’ Jimin is crying, he’s really crying, tugging at Jungkook’s sleeve, pulling him back to the bed.
‘Okay’ Jungkook whispers, trying to calm Jimin down. ‘I won’t go’ he lays down again, kissing Jimin’s wet cheeks. ‘I’m here baby’ he turns Jimin around and hugs him tight, being a big spoon. When Jungkook wakes up again he’s confused how he managed to fall asleep. He looks at Jimin and realises he’s still sleeping.
He thinks that it’s a good opportunity to leave without stressing him out and maybe he’ll come back before he’ll wake up. He carefully lets go of him and gets up, looking around. He makes sure that Jimin is covered well and he kisses his forehead. He doesn’t know why but he feels weird today as well, kind of a bad feeling.
I have to go back as soon as I can , he thinks and leaves Jimin alone.
_____
His body feels like he got ten thousand stabs, every part of it is aching. He feels like he’s burning alive, not able to breathe properly. He opens the door, takes couple steps and immediately falls on the bed, not being able to sit. He can hear Jimin’s voice, blurry and muffled, like he’s still under the water.
‘Jungkook, oh my god, Jungkook what happened’ Jungkook feels small, soft hands on his face and the touch is so familiar, so lovely ... ‘Jungkook! Open your eyes! Look at me, please look at me’ Jungkook wants to open his eyes, but he feels so tired. ‘ Look at me, please don’t fall asleep’
He’s crying... I can’t let him cry . He thinks and tries to open his one eye, but he can. He feels so weak that the only thing he’s dreaming of is sleep. He feels Jimin’s soft hands and hears his voice and he thinks That’s a good way to fall asleep . But then he realises that he didn’t tell Jimin he loves him. How he loves him. He has to know. He manages to open his eyes a bit and he sees Jimin, crying so hard that his tiny body is trembling. He wants to tell him that he’s fine , but he can’t. And then Jimin starts doing something that confuses Jungkook, after he took off Jungkook’s thin jacket and his wet hoodie, Jimin starts taking off his sweater and t-shirt as well. Jungkook gets all his energy to say something but then Jimin hugs him. No . He lays on top of Jungkook, his bare chest warm against Jungkook icy skin.
‘Jim-‘ Jungkook tries to touch Jimin’s face but the younger boy cuts his words.
‘Shh’ Jimin starts rubbing his arms slowly, looking him in the eyes. ‘Don’t move, your blood will rush to your heart and you can get a heart attack... I have to warm you up slowly’
They lay like that for some time, Jungkook feels like he’s drifting to another world from time to time, not being sure when he’s asleep and when he’s not. Jimin eventually lays beside him and covers him with every blanket they have, then pulls him closer again, wrapping arms around his waist. They are looking at each other for some time and then Jimin asks:
‘What happened?’ he brushes Jungkook’s wet hair back gently.
‘I fell into the water... it was dark and I was really angry that I didn’t get any food for you and... I suddenly felt sick I don’t even know how but I realised I’m standing on frozen lake, it wasn’t far from the edge and I tried to come back but then... the ice broke under me and I... I don’t remember how I got out of the water and how I got here... I’m sorry for scaring you...’ his body is still trembling, his lips are blue and nose red. Jimin cups Jungkook's face, caressing his cheek with his thumb.
‘Don’t be sorry... it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t worry so much about me. Because you were so stressed you almost-‘ Jimin stops, closing his eyes for a second.
‘How... how did you know what to do?’ Jungkook whispers and this time Jimin smiles.
‘Before I met you I used to sit under the windows, listening to the radio or tv... I heard about helping people with hypothermia and thank god I did. I wasn’t even listening to it too much but I think because of the adrenaline, I could somehow recall it’ Jimin leans in and kisses Jungkook’s cold nose, smiling sweetly.
Suddenly Jungkook remembers that he wanted to tell him something. Tell him that he sees Jimin in a completely different way. In a way that he never thought off, because he always loved him, just not the way he realised he loves him now. He looks at Jimin and his heart is warm even though his body is still icy. He looks at his face with sharp cheekbones, his fragile wrists, his collarbones that aren’t supposed to be seen, at his scrawny shoulders and his sunken sunken stomach. His heart always hurts because he can’t give Jimin what he deserves for.
‘I love you’ he says, looking at Jimin who’s smiling. Always smiling .
‘I love you too Kookie’ Jimin’s eyes are glimmering like stars.
‘No Jimin. I love you. Not... just as a friend’ Jungkook whispers, his eyes big and scared.
‘Oh’ Jimin gasps, his eyes just as big as Jungkook’s.
They are both scared, because no one ever loved them, no one taught them how to love someone else and they are not even sure if they knew what does it mean to love someone, but if loving someone means taking care of that person and constantly worrying that something might happen to that person, then they sure did love each other. Not just as friends. That’s why Jungkook hesitantly leans in, his heart beating against his chest so hard that he thinks it might break through it, and after he looks him in the eyes, he brushes his lips with Jimin’s, closing his eyes and feeling warm somewhere deep inside.
Warm, warm, warm .
Jungkook puts one of his hands on Jimin’s face and the other on his waist, pulling him closer and kissing him again, this time their lips fully pressing. Jimin was so soft under his palms, almost like he was about to melt and disappear. When Jungkook opens his eyes again and looks at Jimin, the younger one looks at him too, his eyes even bigger, like he can’t believe that this is happening. He’s only sixteen and he’s not ready for any of this, but Jungkook isn’t much older, it was life that forced them to grow up faster then the other kids.
‘Is it okay?’ Jungkook whispers, so quiet that he can hear Jimin’s shaky breath.
‘Y-yes’ the younger boy whispers even quieter.
‘Are you sure? We can forget about it an-‘
‘No’ Jimin cuts his words, grabbing his hand. ‘Can we... can we do it again? Can you kiss me again? Feels good... I... I feel safe’ Jimin’s cheeks get a little pink as he speaks and Jungkook feels embarrassed too. They are just two poor kids, finding love when they most needed it. So Jungkook just nods and kisses Jimin again, squeezing his hand.
‘Thank you’ Jimin says, their foreheads touching.
‘What are you thanking me for, baby?’ Jungkook asks softly.
‘For saving my life... If you haven’t helped help me then, I’d be dead within two weeks’ The younger boy answers, nuzzling Jungkook’s neck.
‘Hey, you saved my life tonight too, so now we’re even’ Jungkook smiles and Jimin giggles, cute and sweet like honey. ‘I’m the one who has to say thank you... I’m older, I’m supposed to take care of you-‘
‘Kookie, don’t’ Jimin pouts and Jungkook pecks his lips quickly.
‘Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s try to sleep, hm? It’s really late and I bet you’re tired’ he says and Jimin agrees to do it only after Jungkook kisses him again. ‘Now sleep, you’re tired’
Always you, you, you . Since Jungkook met Jimin he almost never thought about himself, so Jimin had to remind him to wash, to eat, to drink water and sleep, otherwise Jungkook would hurt himself, trying to take care of Jimin without taking care of himself.
‘Baby, time to wake up’ a soft touch wakes Jungkook up in the sweetest way possible. He opens his eyes and looks at Jimin, at his cute cheeks that he wants to kiss all the time, at his cute chubby hands and his soft tummy. ‘Breakfast is ready’ he hears so he sits up and rubs his eyes.
‘What time do you start classes today?’ Jungkook asks and takes a bite of pancakes that Jimin made for him. His favourite.
‘I don’t have anything until one’ Jimin takes a bite as well and smiles.
‘Are you kidding? Then what are you doing?’ Jungkook pulls Jimin closer and wraps his arms around his waist, making his lay down.
‘Babyyy’ Jimin whines and they are laughing, laying in the warm bad. ‘Wait, I have to turn the heating on, it gets cold in the apartment again’ The younger boy says so Jungkook lets go of him, kissing him first.
‘I love you’ Jungkook says, closing his eyes. He’s waiting for Jimin to say it back as always but then suddenly he feels heavy, like he’s falling.
He opens his eyes and the room is dark, his t-shirt is sticky, hair damp. He puts his hand on his chest, trying to calm down and stop his heart from racing. His body is shaking and he feels sick to his stomach. He reaches his hand, looking for Jimin, but the other side of the bed is empty.
Jimin .
Jungkook wants to shout Jimin’s name, thinking that he went to the bathroom, but then he loses consciousness.
Everything is falling apart, walls, windows, the bed he’s laying on, the plates with food. Everything is blurry and Jungkook is shouting Jimin’s name as loud as he can, his throat already sore. He finally notices Jimin. He’s looking at him worried and sad, almost crying. He’s whispering something, but Jungkook can’t figure out what it is. Jimin starts disappearing too. He’s fading with every second and Jungkook tries to grab his hand, but he can’t. Jimin is gone. And then he realises what Jimin was saying.
I’m sorry .
‘No!’ Jungkook wakes up, his body sore, his hair seems to be more wet and his t-shirt more sticky. He looks around, panicked, until he realises that he was dreaming. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry . He shakes his head, those three words still stuck in his head.
‘Oh my god, you woke up’ he hears, immediately getting goosebumps. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry . He tries to push away the voice in his head, looking at Jimin. He kneels in front of the bed and brushes Jungkook’s wet hair off his face. ‘I heard you screaming, did you have a nightmare?’ He asks and ... I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry . He suddenly remembers that in his nightmare Jimin was fading away, saying he’s sorry all the time.
‘Jimin’ he whispers, his eyes big and scared.
‘I’m here. Can you take this for me, please?’ The younger boy asks, putting two small pills on Jungkook’s palm. He swallows it, takes a sip of water and looks at Jimin again. He looks older and tired. Exhausted even .
‘Wait’ Jungkook sits up again, something feels off. ‘Jimin... what was it?’ he asks, squinting his eyes.
‘Medicine’ Jimin looks down, at his knees, his shoulders shaking slightly.
‘Where... where did you get it?’ Jungkook asks again and suddenly it’s hard for him to breathe. ‘Jimin, where did you get the money to buy it?’ Jimin starts crying and Jungkook is looking at him, his eyes full of tears. ‘Jimin. Where. Did. You. Get. The. Money .’ Jungkook says through gritted teeth, clenching his fists. But Jimin doesn’t say anything, nor he’s looking at him. He’s just crying and so does Jungkook.
He feels like someone stabbed his heart, he feels sick and he thinks he’s going to throw up but then everything pass and he feels hurt . He wants to die, thinking about Jimin letting a stranger touch him, just so he could get money to buy a medicine for Jungkook. He doesn’t want to believe it. He can’t. He reaches for Jimin’s hand and pulls him closer. They sit next to each other and cry . They cry like they never cried before, holding hands and looking at the floor, not being able to look in each other’s eyes.
Both of them hurt in a different way, both because of the same reason.
‘I’m sorry’ Jimin suddenly chokes out and the words are ringing on Jungkook’s ears for a moment. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Jungkook thinks that the second dream was a vision of his heart falling apart after he found out what Jimin did to save him.
‘Jimin’ Jungkook says, finally looking at him. ‘Don-don’t even try to apologise... I-I’m the one who should apologise.... I-I’m old-older and I’m the one who should take care of you’ he still sobs. ‘I told you not to do that... why didn’t you listen Jimin?’ he asks. He doesn’t sound like he’s angry, more like he’s unbelievably hurt because Jimin did that. He fully turns to him, still holding his hand.
‘You got worse... I-I woke up and you had a fever, your body was so hot... You-you were sweating and saying things tha-that didn’t make any sense... I wa-was terrified and I di-didn’t know what to do... I was scared that you’d d-die’ he chokes out and starts crying even harder. ‘I couldn’t let you... you’re everything I have... I love you too much’ he says and covers his face with his tiny hands. Jungkook can’t stop himself from crying while he pulls Jimin onto his laps and wraps his arms around his waist, rocking them both and kissing Jimin’s head, neck and shoulder blades. ‘I can’t go back in time, so please don’t stop taking this medicine now... so I know it was worth it’
Jungkook wants to protest and tell him that it wasn’t worth it, that nothing would be worth such sacrifice from a young and innocent boy, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to make him feel even worse, he has to calm him down.
And then Jungkook notices it. Jimin’s t-shirt is torn and through the hole Jungkook can see a big bruise. He touches it with his fingertips and Jimin hisses. Jungkook grabs the hem of the t-shirt and pulls it up, until Jimin shakes his head.
‘Don’t, please’ he whispers but it’s too late, Jungkook won’t let go now. He glances at Jimin, making him give up and put his hands up. Jungkook takes his shirt off and gasps, seeing Jimin’s body covered in purple bruises.
He stops looking after seeing Jimin’s collarbones covered in smaller bruises. Hickeys . But they aren’t those sweet love bites, that you enjoy having, being proud of the one who made them. They look painful and Jimin isn't happy about them at all. He hates every and each one of them.
He doesn’t say anything. He gets up and grabs his old hoodie, giving it to Jimin. He changes his shirt to another one while the younger boy puts the hoodie on quickly, looking at Jungkook carefully.
‘You should take a nap’ Jungkook says and after he sees Jimin’s scared expression, he fakes a smile. ‘You have to be tired after... taking care of me, I’ll lay down with you’ he promises and Jimin nods, covering himself with a thick blanket.
Jungkook is waiting for about half an hour for Jimin to fall asleep and after he makes sure he won’t wake him up, he gets up and walks over to the cabinets. He grabs one of the two knifes he has and tip toes to the door.
‘He took advantage of an innocent boy...’ he whispers, looking at Jimin, sleeping curled up in ball. ‘He has to take the consequences, because I won't let him live after he hurt you’ He says, tears falling down, slowly opening the door.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,
_________
Jungkook runs to Jimin, shaking his shoulder and looking at the door. His hands are still covered in blood, he didn’t have time to clean them. Jimin opens his eyes slowly and Jungkook shakes his body again.
‘Jimin! You have to get up, move!’ he says as quiet as he can, his hands trembling and breath uneven.
‘What’s happening?’ Jimin asks, sitting up and scanning Jungkook’s body. When he sees Jungkook’s shirt and hands covered in blood his eyes widen. ‘Jungkook, what did you-‘
‘We have to run. We’ll hide in the forest like we did last year, remember?’ Jungkook looks at him, his eyes wide and scared.
‘But why?’ Jimin asks, confused, slowly getting scared as well.
And then Jungkook’s blood freezes in his veins. Sirens. He looks at Jimin his eyes full of fear and panic.
‘Jimin, you’ll go alone’
‘No! Ju-‘ Jimin tries to protest.
‘We don’t have time, take this’ Jungkook cuts his words and shows a big stack of cash into Jimin's hands and picks him up from the bed. ‘Take this and go hide by the river, stay there for some time’ he looks at the door again and then back at Jimin, his eyes big. He knows that Jimin won’t go into the forest alone. He looks around, grabs his own jacket and puts it on Jimin, looking at the door every five seconds.
‘Jungkook, I’m not going anywhere without you’ Jimin says, shaking his head.
‘Jimin, please baby, they’ll be here in a minute, we don’t have time, just go’ He says, pushing him towards the door. The sirens are getting louder with every second.
‘Jungkook! No! I love you, please don’t force me to go’ Jimin starts crying, holding Jungkook’s hand as tightly as he could.
‘Jimin, you have to go, just hide and wait for me, I will-‘ Jungkook looks at the door when the sound of the sirens stops. ‘Oh my god’ he pulls Jimin to the window that was opposite to the door and openes it.
‘Jungkook, please. Don’t leave me, don’t leave me’ Jimin wraps his arms around his neck but Jungkook pushes him away, grabbing his waist.
‘Go to the river and wait for me. I’ll come after one hour’ He says, glancing at the door again.
‘You promise?’ Jimin looks at him with hope and Jungkook has to look away, to hide his tears.
‘I promise, now go’ Jungkook lifts him up and helps him jump through the window and when Jimin is on the other side he cupps his face, kissing him one last time ‘I love you’ He looks at Jimin, his cheeks wet and heart aching.
‘I lo-‘ he doesn’t finish because the door opens, falling to the floor.
‘Run! Now! Jimin run! Go!’
Jungkook pushes him hard and Jimin runs. He’s running as fast as he can and Jungkook looks at him getting further and further away. He knows that he won’t see him again that’s why when a man shouts ‘Don’t move!’ he just turns around and closes his eyes, the image of Jimin’s sad face when he pushed him away stuck in his head, screaming at him to go.
I’m sorry.
use the sleeves of my sweater, let's have an adventure.
head in the clouds but my gravity's centered
touch my neck and Í'll touch yours
one love, two mouths
one love, one house
cause it's too cold for you here and now
so let me hold both your hands
in the holes of my sweater