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What the hell did John mean by you were like Sammy but not like Sammy? What did demon blood have to do with any of this? What was going on? You wished he was here so he could explain better but he wasn’t.
He was gone.
You had to keep reminding yourself that because you were having a hard time with his death. Out of the three of you, you were the one who openly cried about him. Just like now, at his funeral, you were wrapped in Dean’s arms, watching John’s body burn as you cried.
You lost another parent and now you didn’t know what to do. Yeah, Bobby wasn’t a bad guy but what he did really hurt you. You knew you would have to talk to him some time and maybe that time will come but right now, you needed to be there for Dean and Sam.
Sam was trying really hard not to cry and Dean was just staring at the fire, his face hard and cold. You wished he would open up to you about all of this but Sam was here and he only truly opened up to you when you were alone.
“Before he… before, did he say anything to you? About anything?” Sam asked after a long moment of silence. You didn’t know if you should tell him what John told you but Dean beat you to it.
“No, nothing.” Dean said in a cold, hard voice. He was suffering and you didn’t want him to be alone. You had nowhere to go or nothing to do at this point. Bobby offered that you three stay at his place and that is what you did.
You’ve been staying there for a week already. When Dean saw the state his car was in, he almost broke down. Almost. He just figured he would spend all his time fixing her up. He wouldn’t let Sam help and he wouldn’t let you out of his sight. Good thing you knew how to work on cars. You needed to busy yourself and you figured that is what Dean has been doing for the past week.
You were under the car with Dean, helping him get the frame back in place and fix the pipes underneath the car. You didn’t mind getting dirty. You just needed to be there for Dean and doing this with him, was a good way to go.
You’ve been staying with Bobby for a while and you needed to talk to him about you and him and what went wrong. You tried not to think about the conversation you had.
“Okay, you want to talk, so talk.” You said, walking up to Bobby who was at his desk, reading some lore book.
“What?” He asked, not fully understand what you were asking of him.
“Explain. Why did you leave me and my mom? Why didn’t you just come forward and say you were my dad instead of letting me think you were just Uncle Bobby?” You crossed your arms, looking at him.
“Look, Y/N, I don’t know what your mother told you, but…”
“No, she didn’t get to tell me anything. Whenever I asked, she brushed it off because it was too painful for her.” You glared.
“Would you sit down and let me talk?” He scolded you. You frowned but did as you were told.
“Your mother I met through Mary. I grew up with her, hunting at an early age along with Mary. Then she met John and all four of us, together, we tried to have a normal life. You see, John and your mom didn’t know about the Supernatural. Mary and I did. As we grew older, one thing led to another and your mother and I happened.
“She didn’t like it since I was so much older than her but the damage had already been done. She found out she was pregnant and I knew I had to leave. The hunting life is and was never meant for children. I couldn’t possibly raise you in all of this. That is why I left.
“I made sure to stay with Mary and she knew that your mother couldn’t know where I was. I was a danger to her and to you, yet, you hadn’t been born yet. John knew only that I had to get away. Mary didn’t want John in the hunting life. Then Mary was pregnant and, well, you might know the rest. But, sweetheart, it killed me to leave you and your mother.
“I loved her and I loved you. The only way I could keep you safe is if I was only known as John’s friend, your Uncle. Then your mom died and that nearly killed me. I wanted to tell you but you were so sad. I didn’t want to make things worse. You don’t know how sorry I am.” Bobby finished with a sigh.
You felt bad for him, because in a way, you understood. But things wouldn’t just be okay between you two. You would have to start from the beginning if he wanted your trust.
“If my mom wasn’t in the life, how did she know I was involved in something dark? That’s what she said in her letter.”
“I wish I had an answer. All I know is what she knew. I know John knew more but he would never tell me but that doesn’t mean I won’t help you look for answers.”
“I guess I can kind of understand where you’re coming from but this doesn’t make things okay between us. I need time and if you want my trust, you would give it to me.” You stood up.
“Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.” You nodded and turned away, going to join Dean. You needed to be there for him and he needed you right now.
“Dean, you know I love you, right?” You looked over at his hard and concentrated face.
“Yep.” He said, not looking away from what he was doing.
“Okay, just making sure you knew that.” You said, going back to tightening bolts and making sure this damn pipe would stay on straight. You slid out from under the car and wiped your hands, going to get new bolts.
“How is the car coming along?” You heard the younger Winchester say as he approached.
“Slow.” Dean answered, sliding out from underneath the car when he figured he would need a few more parts. You looked at Sam and gave him a small smile in which he returned.
“Need any extra help?’ Sam asked, trying to get his brother to talk to him. Sam, under a hood? Yeah, right.
“What, you under a hood? I’ll pass.” Dean shook his head, grabbing a wrench and a rag to clean it with.
“Need anything else, then?” Sam tried once more.
“Stop it, Sam.” Dean sighed heavily.
“Stop what?”
“Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I’m okay. I’m okay. Really. I promise.” You looked at Dean and you knew it was a lie. You could always tell when he was lying just like he could tell you that you were lying.
“Alright, Dean, it’s just… We’ve been at Bobby’s for over a week now and you haven’t brought up Dad once.”
“You know what? You’re right. Come here. I’m gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance.” Dean said sarcastically.
“Don’t patronize me, Dean, Dad is dead. The Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all of this, and you’re acting like nothing happened.” Sam said, crossing his arms.
“What do you want me to say?” Dean asked, looking at his brother.
“Say something, alright? Hell, say anything! Aren’t you angry? Don’t you want revenge? All you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car.” Sam said, getting worked up.
“Sam, we don’t know where the demon is or the Colt.” You said softly. You didn’t want to anger the men even more.
“Yeah, she’s right. You got any leads on where the demon is? Because I sure ain’t. But you know, if we do finally find it - oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt’s gone. But I’m sure you’ve figured out another way to kill it. We’ve got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So, you know the only thing I can do? Is I can work on the car.” Dean said, picking up a few more pieces of scrap metal, looking at it, inspecting it.
“Sam, let me talk to him.” You said quietly.
“Yeah, good luck.” Sam scoffed, turning and walking away.
“Dean, here, take a break.” You handed him a beer and with one look at you, he sighed and nodded, taking it. You led him to another beat up junk car and sat on the hood, looking at him.
“I’ll tell you if you tell me.” You said, sipping your own beer.
“What does that mean?” He asked.
“I’ll tell you what John told me if you tell me what John told you.” You looked at him to see him clenching his jaw tightly. You needed him to open up to you. You didn’t wait for an answer from him. He needed to hear this.
“He told me that I was special like Sam but I wasn’t supposed to be special. That’s why the demon wanted to kill me. He said I would ruin his plan for Sam and for kids like him. John knew what that meant. He said that he tried to get it out of my system but the demon blood worked through me too fast.
“Demon blood. Man, how crazy is that? What does that even mean? He said demon blood is the reason I can do what I do. Like move things or how I can tell when something is supernatural. Maybe like how I can tell whenever you lie. He said I drew from a powerful source but he didn’t know what it was.
“There is so much I don’t know about myself and so much that I don’t know about anything but I do know one thing. I love you and try as you might, I am not leaving you no matter how hard you push me away. So, you better get comfortable because you’re stuck with me.” You looked at Dean when you finished to see him with tears down his cheek.
You frowned and scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close. He put his head on your shoulder and sniffled, tears falling onto your shirt.
“He said that I had to take care of Sammy. He said that I would have to save him because if I didn’t, I would have to kill him. What the hell does that even mean?” Dean said, holding onto you tighter. He didn’t know why he only opened up to you. He didn’t know why he didn’t tell Sam this but he felt like you were meant to be with him and that you were meant to take what he had. Well, this is what he had so far.
“Dean, I don’t know why John said what he said. I don’t know why this had to happen to us. But just know that you’re not alone. You have me. You always have me. I wasn’t ready to give up on you at the hospital and I’m not ready to give up on you now. You’re the only family I have left and family means that nobody is left behind.”
“Are you quoting Disney?” He let out a confused laugh. He pulled away and wiped his eyes, looking down at you.
“You bet your ass I am. But I meant what I said.” You said, staring into his glistening green eyes. He didn’t say anything else but leaned down and kissed you softly. The kiss wasn’t rushed and the kiss was just meant to show that he loved you. But you already knew that.
“Guys, I think I got something,” Sam said, walking back to the car. You pulled away from Dean and held his hand tightly.
“You don’t have to tell Sam but know that you can always tell me.” You smiled and got off the car, grabbing your beer. You walked with Dean back over to the Impala where Sam was waiting.
“What is it, Sam?” You asked, putting your beer down.
“This is one of dad’s old phones. Took me a while, but I cracked his voicemail code. Listen to this.” He handed the phone to Dean and he put it on speakerphone so that you could hear.
“John, it’s Ellen. Again. Look, don’t be stubborn, you know I can help you. Call me.”
“That message is four months old.” Sam added.
“Dad saved that chick’s message for four months?” Dean asked, looking confused.
“Who’s Ellen? Any mention of her in John’s journal?” You asked, looking at Sam.
“No. But I ran a trace on her phone number and I got an address.”
“Ask Bobby if we can use one of his cars.” Dean said, grimacing. With you and Dean working on Baby, she would get fixed in no time. But you would still need another car to drive in.