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Hinata was breathing hard, so hard it hurt his chest. The air stung his lungs and cheeks, his tears flowing in hot contrast to the ice around him.
He’d run all the way from their apartment, his phone still clutched in his hand from when he’d first answered the call. This couldn’t be happening. He begged every cosmos and god to let it not be so.
But the sirens and warbles of ambulances were undeniable. The lights flashed red and blue against the darkening sky and he couldn’t breathe.
He’d just gotten them, god, why? He couldn’t stop the tears; they clung wet to his shirt, the wet spots growing and growing as his shirt grew heavy around the collar with tears. He didn’t even have his jacket on properly; it hung awkwardly off one shoulder, crooked across his back. He slowed his steps as he got closer. Smoke clogged the air. He cupped a hand over his face as he got closer.
He was walking in a trance. He didn’t even realize he’d walked beyond the barrier the police had put up until someone grabbed his arm and yanked him to a harsh stop. One look at Hinata’s face had the police officer breathing out an apology though.
“Hinata-san?” he asked carefully.
Hinata gulped in a rough breath of icy air and whined out a, “Yes.” He sobbed and sniveled grossly.
“Maybe this isn’t the best place-“ began the officer again.
“I need to see. Please, I need to know-“
Hinata kept walking. He was practically dragging the officer along now. His nails dug into his palms. God, please, whoever was listening...
A car sat wrapped around a traffic light pole, smoke curling up from the engine compartment. The driver had already been cut out of the vehicle. Hinata’s eyes searched frantically over the ambulances gathered around. Two stretches sat out and one was being loaded into the closest ambulance, patient ready to go.
But no one was touching the other two. They sat alone, almost forgotten. Hinata’s feet tripped over themselves as he turned, his body not obeying his mind.
“Sir, you shouldn’t-“ The police officer was talking to Hinata but all he could hear was the drone in his ear of desperation, the buzz of engines and sirens and despair. He walked forward on heavy feet.
Two sheets covered the bodies laying on the stretchers, but like they were waiting for him, hands peeked out from beneath, one left hand and one right. Hinata nearly shook apart.
He caught the hands, and it was worse than he could have ever imagined. Death. It was cold and cruel; it felt lifeless. The hands he took in his own were heart-breakingly familiar. He recognized tattoos and rings; there was no mistaking their shape or how they fit against his own hands. The only difference from this morning was that now those hands were icy, icy, so very cold.
“God, no,” Hinata begged as he tore apart. He pulled the hands to his chest but they gained no warmth. He himself was cold too; he could do absolutely nothing and he felt it so strongly for the very first time in his whole life.
Semi and Ushijima had been alive, so alive just this morning. He’d kissed them both goodbye as they went off to work. Had he told them he loved them or had they all begun to take the words for granted? He couldn’t remember.
“I love you, I love you,” he said now like a mantra, a chant to return them back to life.
But they would never be warm again. They would never live at all.
Hinata had been left alone just when he found his truest happiness.
He turned his head up to the sky and screamed his heart out.
x
“Hinata!”
The voice snapped through the thick mist of his dream and he shocked awake, his head jumping off the pillow. His hands snapped to attention but all he could see now were two pairs of very worried eyes. Eyes he knew so well. Beautiful brown and gorgeous olive. His own eyes were heavy and cake-y and crusted over. His cheeks were scrubbed raw and his pillow was soaking wet below his head. His mouth was still open.
“You were screaming so loud! You terrified us!”
“What happened?”
Hinata shut his eyes; he didn’t want to recall, but images crashed into him and he was crying again. His mind was still stuck in his dream and he couldn’t shake the absolute fear and despair he’d felt. His whole body racked with his violent sobs.
Warms hands turned him to his side and Ushijima curled up against his back, large body spooning him completely. Semi wiggled against his front and the two held him tight as he cried his heart out.
He could still feel their cold hands; he could still feel the pain of the phone call, of the realization that they were both just... gone.
“Whatever you dreamed, it wasn’t real,” Ushijima whispered against his ear. Hinata could hear how seeing the redhead like this tore him apart. The man with a heart as big as the sun; he was hurting for Hinata and he didn’t even know why. In contrast, Semi was deathly silent, angry because he couldn’t fix it.
Hinata reached out blindly, grabbed at mismatched hands, one of each. They were warm, god, they were so warm. With shaking hands, he pulled them up against his chest, his face. He sobbed against warm palms as he pressed them to his cheeks.
They were alive. They were warm. They hadn’t gone anywhere.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Hinata said through hysterical sobs and hiccups. He was trying his very best to calm down but the dream clung to him relentlessly.
They were alive... now. For now...
“I love you, love you both. Eita, Toshi-! I love you so much!”
“Shh, shh,” whispered Ushijima with a strained voice. Semi’s other hand was restless against Hinata’s skin.
“What’s wrong?” he begged to know, his voice close to his own nervous breakdown.
Hinata cracked his eyes open; through watery leakage he looked up at Semi’s face. “I dreamed... something so horrible. I dreamed there’d been an accident-“
Semi’s face went deathly pale; Ushijima clenched Hinata tighter. The redhead sobbed.
“But it’s not real,” said Semi, voice strained. “It wasn’t real. We’re- we’re here, Shouyo.”
Fat tears slid down his cheeks; it was so rare for Semi to cry. It tore Hinata apart. “Baby, we’re here. We’re not... leaving you, we’re not going anywhere.”
Ushijima nodded against Hinata’s hair, kissed his neck with a quiet desperation to assure Hinata.
“We’ll always be right here, Shouyo,” Ushijima hummed deeply against his skin.
“You cannot imagine-“ Hinata sobbed. “I was so petrified. It felt so real. I was suddenly alone; you were ripped from me so suddenly.”
His body shook violently. “I couldn’t even remember if I’d told you both that I love you!”
Ushijima was hugging Hinata, warm hands that were unconditionally kind and loving rubbed at his chest and arms. And Semi, who was reckless and a bit like a wrecking ball in the best of situations, grabbed Hinata’s jaw and pulled him up into a rough kiss. Tears mixed together and Hinata couldn’t breathe, but this time it was a pleasant pain, a pain he wanted to chase after. He grabbed at Ushijima’s arms and wrapped his hands around them, hugging the man tight as Semi kissed him to bits.
“Love you, love you, we love you so much.”
Hinata’s hands grabbed over warm skin, a neck covered in small, pale scars, round little markers that reaffirmed that they were absolutely his, and he was absolutely theirs.
“What do you need, baby? Sweetness. My love. Tell me what I need to do?” Semi was kissing Hinata’s face, begging to know how to make it better for his lover.
Hinata could finally breathe again. As the warmth of the other two seeped into him, the cold of the dream pulled its claws from him. He shuddered as the dream slipped away from him and all he could recall was the warmth of the two he loved against his body.
“Just this, this is fine,” he assured Semi and Ushijima in a quiet whisper. He curled up and pulled them tighter. Semi’s hands rubbed over his skin, lifting his shirt.
“I love you,” he reminded the both of them with a heated shiver. “Please, please, don’t leave me yet.”
“No,” husked Ushijima.
“We’re not leaving,” said Semi sternly.
Hinata pulled them closer still, until the air they breathed was just the heat of their bodies and air passed between them, recycled over and over. He didn’t think he could fall asleep again tonight. He quietly told them so.
“It’s okay,” whispered Semi. “We’ll stay up.” He reached blindly behind himself and grabbed at his tortoise shell glasses. He pushed them up his nose and Hinata gripped his face to kiss him deep and long. His precious boyfriends.
He let Semi go to fetch whatever he was planning. Ushijima turned Hinata around in his arms.
“Are you okay?”
Hinata nodded at him. “Sorry I woke you both.”
“You were screaming our names. We thought you were in pain-“
“Sorry,” husked Hinata as fresh tears came, hating the pain in Ushijima’s face. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was just a dream. Not your fault,” reminded Ushijima as he patted Hinata’s hair and pulled him closer. He kissed him sweetly, slowly.
“I’m sorry I woke you both up.”
“Don’t say that anymore,” Ushijima said sternly with another kiss. “You needed us.”
More tears. “I always need you.” Hands clenched into Ushijima’s night shirt, an old high school team shirt. Hinata wore one in a different color, his favorite thing to wear; Ushijima’s and Semi clothes were softer and more comfortable than anything else. Ushijima pulled him close again for another kiss. He licked away Hinata’s tears. Hinata fingered at little white circles forever marring Ushijima’s neck.
“You’ll always be with us, and we’ll always be with you,” Ushijima whispered as he covered Hinata’s hand with his own.
There was a sound at the door, Semi standing there with crooked glasses and just his boxer briefs, carrying a tray with mugs on it. Ushijima pulled Hinata up to sitting, cuddled the smaller male into his lap as Semi came around and set the tray on Ushijima’s bedside table. He leaned forward and kissed Hinata before pressing a warm mug into his cool hands.
“Feeling better?”
Hinata nodded meekly. “Sorry,” he whispered to his boyfriend.
Semi pulled a face and rasped, “Don’t ever fucking apologize again for something like this. It’s our job to take care of you.”
Hinata wanted to cry again. He didn’t know how he deserved such two good, pure beings as his own. “I love you both so much,” he said shakily into his mug of hot cocoa. His lips trembled up into a big smile at the sight of a mountain of whipped cream, marshmallows and chocolate drizzle. Semi kissed his nose, his cheek, Ushijima nuzzling into his neck as he hugged Hinata close.
“Drink it,” Semi ordered, pressing a little at the mug. Hinata brought it to his lips and tipped it until warm liquid rushed over his tongue. It was sweet, yummy. He could taste the rich flavor of added creamer. Semi had gone all out.
“Thank you, Eita.”
“Baby,” hushed Semi as he leaned in close. “Absolutely anything for you, my heart, my world.”
“I love you,” whispered Ushijima against a red cheek.
“Adore you,” husked Semi against warmed lips covered now in dairy. His tongue licked out and Hinata pushed his chin up into a kiss. He grabbed into Semi’s hair and kissed him, glasses going a little askew again, a little bit in the way, but Hinata loved this. They were imperfect, but that was what made them so lovable. It was why they each adored the other two to pieces. Because there were things about each other that no one else but these two ever got to see. Hinata reached back and mussed Ushijima’s sleepy hair, pulled him close as he turned to kiss him too.
This was happiness.
He prayed it would last a long, long time.
He’d make sure it did.