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I never did understand that fear of showing your flaws. They are a part of you, aren’t they? So then why do people try so hard to pretend? Ah, how strange humans are.
And no one is more puzzling to me than you, Kurusu Syo.
“Ai? You okay? You’ve been quiet for a while.”
Syo glanced over at his companion as he buttoned his shirt while carefully keeping himself positioned at a certain angle to hide his chest. It was strange. He knew for a fact that they were both male, and even more than that, they had been dating for a few weeks now, yet there was always an unusual sense of distance between them at times like these.
Why is that? I’m curious to know.
“Hey, Syo?”
Upon hearing his name, Syo turned around to face him properly after he had finished getting dressed. “What’s up?”
“Why do you keep hiding your chest like that? I’m fairly certain we’re both male.”
Based on the look of absolute horror on his face, Ai could imagine that Syo would immediately do a spit take if it were possible to do so at the moment.
“What? No I’m not hiding anything! What are you even saying, Ai? You’re just imagining things!”
Hoping to change the subject, Syo tried to bring up the topic of the shoot they had just finished a while ago only for Ai to continue looking at him with his usual scrutinizing gaze. He knew very well that communication was important for relationships to work and that Ai wasn’t the type to feel repulsed by any new information he learns about him, yet he just couldn’t bring himself to say it. The things that filled those around him with pity.
Without any warning, Ai approached him to place his cold hand upon his chest. And from beneath his fingertips, he could feel it—Syo’s heart beating nervously as their gazes locked in place. Ai’s voice was gentle as he asked him, “Does it have something to do with this?”
There was a brief moment of silence before Syo placed his hand over Ai’s to move it away from him and laugh quietly.
There truly is no fooling you, is there?
he thought with a soft smile. “Ai, you really lack in tact, don’t you?”
Syo sighed quietly. “Let’s head back first. Natsuki should be with Otoya and the others for a little while.”
As they made their way back to the dorms, Syo could feel his mind start to wander as he thought about what was to come. It was a topic he never liked to bring up himself. Natsuki and Kaoru knew this very well. But Ai always wanted to know more, he wanted to understand people better. And more than that, Syo was fully aware that Ai wanted to learn about him the most.
A person who speaks honestly and a person who didn’t want to burden the people he loves with things that only hurt them.
Ai didn’t care about appearances. Lies and the like were merely superficial things meant to hide a person’s true self. None of those things mattered to him at all. Syo should’ve known this by now but he couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy about it.
It was decided.
Ai was determined to listen and learn more about the person he chose to understand love with and Syo had resolved to take a step forward in being honest for the same reason.
Upon reaching his room and making sure they were truly alone, Syo slowly unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a very clear scar that marred the surface of his skin. And in the same way he did before, Ai carefully ran his fingertips against the ridges formed by the stitches as he murmured something Syo didn’t expect to hear. It’s beautiful.
Without pulling away from him, Ai kept commenting on how beautiful the mark was and why humans would ever think that such a thing could ever be considered ugly. It certainly wasn’t that far from how Syo had imagined this would go, but at the same time, he wasn’t used to hearing such honest words without any trace of pity or concern. It was comforting.
“My heart had never been that strong ever since I was young, so I had to go through several surgeries and the like growing up. Scars...don’t look very idol-like do they?”
Syo forced a laugh to rid himself of his own unease only to be cut off by the sight of Ai drawing close to place a kiss upon the scar. “I would be lying to say that it is, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less beautiful. It’s a part of you, is it not?”
Syo laughed again, but this time, it was a genuine one. “You really never change do you? Always so honest.”
Ai nodded as if to reconfirm his words from earlier. “You’re very brave, Syo. I find it quite admirable.”
Ai pulled him into an awkward hug which allowed Syo to bury his face in Ai’s shoulder to hide his expression. Happiness and relief bubbled within him, threatening to overflow, as Syo mumbled a small word of thanks.
It’s okay. I’m only looking at you. Not at the fragile you but the one standing before me.
“Thank you, Ai. I love you.”
“I love you too, Syo.”