Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been six years ago, but Jimin still remembered very clearly the first time he saw Yoongi.

It was in his first year of college. Jimin was sitting at the back of the classroom with his friend Taehyung. The class was about to start when the most beautiful guy Jimin had ever seen walked through the door.

The freshman couldn't tear his eyes away from him as he walked in and searched for a free seat. It was the first day of classes, so the room was full of people who still wanted to give the subject a chance. The course was also quite difficult, so he’d heard there were many second and even third takers.

In the seats in front of Jimin and Taehyung, a guy raised his arm, beckoning the pretty stranger to sit with him. When he saw him, he grabbed his backpack’s strap as he made his way to whom Jimin supposed was his acquaintance. And for the next two hours, Jimin had the pleasure of having the cute guy's nape right in front of his eyes.

Taehyung had almost squealed the moment he realised the stranger was going to be sitting in front of them, and they spent part of the class gushing over him and giggling as quietly as they could. They weren't as subtle as they thought, though, and Jimin’s heart almost jumped out of his chest when the black-haired guy turned slightly in his seat once to see who was making so much noise.

It was Taehyung who made eye contact with him because Jimin was right behind the other, and his friend’s giggles stopped right away as if he had suddenly sobered up. But just like that, the stranger looked ahead again without saying a word. Jimin and Taehyung exchanged looks before silently squirming in their seats.

“Oh my god, he has such pretty eyes. Just like a cat’s,” Taehyung whispered to him, conscious of not being heard by others or seen by their teacher.

By the end of the class, Jimin had three things in mind:

1) He really hoped the boy hadn't heard any of their embarrassing fanboying.

2) The teacher seemed nice.

3) Jimin felt guilty he couldn't even remember her name by the end of her two-hour lesson.

Oh well, and another thing:

4) Who was that guy?

Fortunately, Taehyung's detective skills weren't anything to sneeze over.

The next day, they talked again about him whenever they were bored during class. It was Jimin’s sulking about not even knowing his name that sparked a mischievous smile from Taehyung, one that Jimin knew all too well and that terrified him at times.

That’s how Jimin found himself in the computer lab with Taehyung as he typed on one of the computers with a manic smile on his lips.

“What are you doing?” Jimin asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

“You’ll see.”

“You’re so scary when you have a goal in mind.”

Taehyung snickered darkly at that, making Jimin roll his eyes at his overdramatic ways.

Five minutes later, Taehyung had entered that subject’s student list, and he had found the guy’s picture amongst the rest of the class.

“Here's our pretty boy!” Taehyung announced, pointing at the screen.

“What the fuck, Tae?” Jimin asked wide-eyed. “How did you do that?!”

“Everyone enrolled in the same class can check this,” Taehyung explained, but at the wary looks he was receiving from Jimin, he huffed indignantly and defended himself. “This is completely legal, geez!”

Jimin narrowed his eyes at him, acting like he didn't believe him before Taehyung punched his arm.

“Ouch, that hurts,” Jimin whined, rubbing the spot.

“Not as much as your distrust towards the guy who just brought you the pretty guy’s name on a silver platter.”

Jimin’s eyes widened at that and turned to look at the computer, bringing his face closer to the screen than was necessary.

“Min Yoongi,” Jimin read aloud. “Wow, even his name is pretty. How is that fair?”

Silently, Taehyung turned to look at Jimin, regarding the boy’s expression as he stared at the screen with a knowing glint in his eyes. Jimin frowned when Tae let out a cackle.

“What?” Jimin asked bewildered, finally looking away from Yoongi’s picture.

Taehyung shrugged, but his eyes were still sparkling with amusement.

“Nothing.”

***

Two weeks of classes passed in which Taehyung and Jimin were swarmed by assignments and presentations. They still saw Yoongi every week during their shared subject, but neither dared to approach him yet. After finding out Yoongi’s name, it was easier to find out a little bit more about the cute guy. Taehyung had a friend in common with him on Facebook, Hoseok, so that’s how they discovered that he was older than them by two years.

Jimin was having so much fun going to class now. Every day was exciting, and he looked forward to seeing Yoongi’s cool outfits, and his sleepy face whenever he arrived at the classroom.

College was harder than Jimin had imagined, and his stress levels had been reaching new heights. That’s why, after a semester that had kept Jimin feeling extremely stressed over adapting to this new place, its people and educational system, Yoongi's appearance had been like a breath of fresh air. An incentive to go to that class.

During one of those lessons, and after Jimin had been absentmindedly staring at his nape from two rows behind, the younger thought that he really wanted to talk to him. Yoongi seemed like an interesting person by what Hoseok had told Taehyung. Also, Jimin's friendly personality was screaming at him to befriend him already.

Yet, there was always something that made the first year change his mind at the last moment. For some strange reason, he felt shy about approaching the guy. Most likely because he didn't want to seem too eager or make a fool out of himself in front of the older guy. Jimin wouldn't admit it, but he spent too much time daydreaming about possible scenarios on how the conversation would go. That’s how badly he wanted to talk to him.

As the semester advanced, half the people enrolled in that class stopped attending little by little. Jimin didn't know if they had given up on the subject or what, but even Taehyung started skipping classes from time to time. Yet, every time Jimin entered the classroom, Yoongi would be sitting in his usual seat, or he would arrive a few minutes later. He seemed to take the subject seriously because he attended it religiously.

It was during one of those classes that Jimin got an emergency call from Taehyung. It wasn't weird for his best friend to get himself in trouble and Jimin having to go to his rescue. However, this time it came at a very bad moment.

They were on a five-minute break before the lecture would continue and next, they were going to go over the instructions of their next assignment. Jimin had thought about leaving during this break so he wouldn't draw too much attention, but if he left, he wouldn't be able to take notes (his and Tae’s, of course). In conclusion, they were screwed if Jimin didn't pay attention.

The boy was biting his lip nervously, pondering over what to do when his eyes found Yoongi going back to his seat after stepping out for a short time. That’s when an idea hit the younger that made him feel nervous and giddy at the same time.

This was the opportunity he had been waiting for. He finally had an excuse to talk to him, and that excited and frightened him at the same time. But it was now or never, so squashing down his nerves, Jimin threw his backpack over his shoulder and approached the unsuspected guy, taking advantage of his momentary courage.

Jimin was going to tap his shoulder, but at the last moment, he thought it better and ended up clearing his throat instead. Yoongi shifted in his seat to look at him.

"Hi," Jimin greeted him enthusiastically with his brightest smile to make a good impression. "I'm Jimin, and I also come to this class."

Yoongi's eyes were piercing him, and Jimin didn't know if the intensity of his gaze was due to his cat-like eyes or if he was annoyed with the boy. It made him want to squirm.

"I know," Yoongi replied with a nod and waited for the other to continue.

“Oh, okay,” Jimin replied, not been able to completely conceal his surprise, although it wasn’t a big deal. “Good, uhm… Thing is, something came up, and I really need to go right now. I was wondering if maybe you could send me the details about this week’s assignment? If it’s not too much to ask,” the younger quickly added, becoming more nervous by the minute, especially when the elder’s gaze didn’t waver at all.

“Okay,” he agreed after a short pause.

“Really? Thank you so much!” Jimin exclaimed, maybe sounding way too happy about it, but he quickly distracted himself by reaching for a pencil in the small pocket of his backpack. “Can I?” He asked, holding it expectantly.

When Yoongi just looked at him confused, Jimin giggled softly before he bent over to write on the elder’s notebook his number and name. He could feel Yoongi’s eyes boring into the side of his face, but he ignored him and drew a small cat too.

Chuckling softly at his own bravery and lack of artistry, Jimin stood straight again. Yoongi was looking at his writing, and the younger would have stayed a little longer, but his phone was vibrating again in his pocket.

“Well, I have to go.” At that, Yoongi raised his head to look at him again. “Thanks again, sunbaenim,” Jimin told him with a bow as he made his way to the door with a smile crinkling the corner of his eyes.

That went very well.

***

The waiting game began, and Jimin thought he would be having a hard time not looking at his phone if it wasn't for his disaster friend Taehyung.

“Could you please explain how you ended up with your fingers stuck in a can of Pringles?” Jimin inquired, exasperated as he tried to puncture the can with a pair of scissors without actually puncturing his friend's hand. Though he kind of wanted to.

“Can't I just stress eat without people judging my decisions?”

“Taehyung, I swear to god—” Jimin grumbled under his breath before giving the can a strong pull that only made Taehyung scream again.

“Yah! I thought we had come to an agreement: no pulling allowed!”

“If you had been in class like you were supposed to, we wouldn't be in this embarrassing situation. So just shut up and bear with it.”

“There's still like two chips left,” Taehyung lamented like that was the true tragedy and not his hand being stuck.

Jimin huffed but decided not to comment on it, too done with his friend to fight him. The point of the scissors was already inside, and the boy was manoeuvring them carefully so he could start cutting. However, that's when Taehyung's words registered in his brain.

It can't be.

“Taehyung,” Jimin called his attention with a flat expression, stopping what he was doing.

“Uhm?” Taehyung replied distractedly, unaware of the other's change in demeanour.

“Are you grabbing the chips inside the can?”

A short pause.

“... does that make a difference?”

“Kim Taehyung, you freaking dork!” Jimin shouted, letting go of the can to smack his friend upside the head.

“Ouch, that hurt !” Taehyung wailed, holding his head as he let out little whimpers.

“That’s what I intended!” Glaring at him, Jimin got away from him and flopped himself onto one of the bean bags in their room, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. “I hate you so much. Why do you have to be like this?”

“To spice up your life a little,” Taehyung answered happily, finally free from the can and turning it upside down over his mouth so the rest of the chips would fall on their own. “Admit it, you love me,” he continued mumbling as he munched on the chips.

“No, I don't. But keep telling yourself that.”

Suddenly, a familiar message ringtone sounded in the room. It was coming from Jimin's backpack. The boy’s heart started hammering in his chest when he remembered who he was waiting to text him. Jumping out of his seat, Jimin went to get it.

it's yoongi

i took a picture of the notes

[download photo]

The texts were simple and straight to the point, but they made Jimin's lips stretch into a big smile. A giddy feeling spread in his chest that had him wanting to giggle and squirm. The boy was so absorbed in his phone that he didn't notice his friend peering over his shoulder to see what was going on.

"Ohhh, looks like someone finally found an excuse to ask for his favourite sunbae’s number,” Taehyung singsonged in a way that had Jimin stopping in his tracks.

He turned to look at his friend, who just wiggled his eyebrows at him with a mischievous grin on his lips.

Jimin's eyes widened. “You did not.”

“Okay, I didn't,” the other boy said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Taehyung!”

“What? I’m just saying what you wanted,” Taehyung protested.

“I can't believe you.”

Taehyung flopped onto the bean bag this time, stretching his long legs with a perennial smile plastered on his face. "A thank you would be nice."

"I won't believe any of your emergencies ever again," Jimin retorted, but there was no real heat to his words. Taking a look at Yoongi's text again, the boy's eyes glinted sadistically. "But I'm dying to see how you are going to write your assignment that, if I remember correctly, is 30% of the final grade without these notes," he finished, waving his phone in Tae's direction, whose face had fallen, his previous cockiness nowhere to be seen.

"I gave you the final push you needed to get that number. It's the least I deserve!"

Jimin just laughed as he ignored Taehyung's pleading. Dodging his advances the best he could in their tiny room, Jimin typed a quick message to Yoongi. They both knew he'd end up helping him but, for the time being, Jimin just enjoyed watching his friend begging for his help.

It's not until a week later when the assignments were already handed in, that Jimin met Yoongi again in class. His sunbae was already sitting in his usual spot by the time the younger arrived. Taking a deep breath before entering the classroom, Jimin gathered his courage for what he was about to do next.

In a few confident strides, the boy stood next to Yoongi, who looked up at him.

"Good morning, sunbaenim!" Jimin greeted him cheerfully. Yoongi looked tired, eyes still kind of droopy and only managing a small nod in the other's direction as a reply. Jimin stopped himself from biting his lip in a clear sign of nerves before he asked. "Is this seat taken?"

Yoongi blinked at him several times as if he was trying to process the other’s words and making the younger wonder if maybe he had overstepped. However, that was not the case.

Averting his gaze, Yoongi grabbed what Jimin supposed was coffee and took a sip after replying. "You can sit."

Ignoring the bubbly sensation in his belly, Jimin smiled and took the seat beside him, shrugging off his backpack and taking out a notebook and a pen for the lecture.

They sat there in silence as people continued entering the classroom. Jimin couldn't help his nerves, his fingers tapping on the top of his thighs. At one point, he started taking small glimpses to his left. Yoongi was sipping his coffee sluggishly, his laptop in front of him, and ready for the class to start.

“Mmh… I wanted to thank you again for the notes,” Jimin finally broke the silence, making Yoongi look at him with his lips on the brim of the foam cup as he took another sip. "It saved my life.”

Lowering the cup, Yoongi swallowed before averting his gaze again. "It wasn't a big deal, really."

“But it was!” Jimin insisted. “Also, they were very good. I could understand them better than when I take them myself,” he ended up mumbling as he looked at his own messy handwriting on the notebook in front of him from trying to write as much as possible before he could forget the teacher's explanation.

“You should bring a laptop, then,” Yoongi replied, his words sounding as sluggish as his movements. “Your wrist will thank you.”

Happy that he was keeping up the conversation despite his fatigue, Jimin just shrugged, unable to stop himself from smiling wide. “I like using paper better, though. I find it troublesome having to carry a heavy laptop everywhere.”

Yoongi grimaced at that as if he couldn't believe what the younger had said. “What monstrosity of a laptop do you have for it to be troublesome to carry around?”

“Well, not everyone can afford the latest and lightest MacBook in the market,” Jimin replied, sending a pointed look at Yoongi's. “Some of us have normal laptops that are heavy and that when they heat up, they sound like a plane ready to take off. Not ideal in a silent classroom.”

The elder almost choked on his coffee at that, and Jimin had the satisfaction to see how Yoongi hid a smile from him by using the cup as a shield. That's why when his sunbae faced him again with an unimpressed look, Jimin couldn't take him seriously. It was too late to mask his previous amusement, and the mirth still dancing in his eyes betrayed Yoongi.

Jimin's heart was soaring.

From that day on, whenever Taehyung skipped classes, Jimin stole the seat beside Yoongi. He no longer asked for permission, though. The boy just happily greeted his sunbae, who was usually too sleepy to articulate a coherent one in return. But that was okay because Jimin was the one in charge of waking him up with his friendly chatter.

The days Taehyung decided to get up early and attend the class, Jimin just waved at Yoongi and sat with his friend. However, he always found a way to sit near Yoongi so they could exchange some words before the class started and during their breaks.

Although Yoongi seemed a little taken aback by Taehyung's exuberance, their sunbae seemed to get the hang of him after a couple of weeks. Jimin often found himself covering his giggles as the other two argued over one of the million things they didn't have in common. It was funny how adamant Tae became when he talked about the benefits of using low ph facial cleansers and moisturizers while Yoongi observed him like the younger had grown two heads because he couldn't care less about his skin. What made it even funnier was that Yoongi kept making funny faces without him even realising it as he kept listening to the other’s ramblings.

His disinterest didn’t sit well with Taehyung, who clicked his tongue, shaking his head in disapproval. "You really don't deserve the nice skin you have. That’s so unfair."

“Life is unfair,” Yoongi pointed out with a shrug.

These debates usually took place during their break and that day was no different. Jimin wasn't sure what they were discussing this time—it must have been a topic Yoongi was passionate about because he was currently completely turned around in his seat so he could look at Taehyung. Jimin had tuned them out to reply to his dad's texts. Apparently, he had come to Seoul for work, and he wanted to eat with him before he had to make it back to Busan on that same day.

"Tae, I can't eat with you today," Jimin said, putting an end to what sounded more like bickering than a proper conversation at that point.

"Why?" He whined. "It's hamburger Wednesday. This is a sacred day in our week."

Jimin sent him an unimpressed look. "You just totally made that up. And I can't because I have to eat lunch with my dad."

Taehyung perked up at that. "Oh, he's here?"

"Seems like it. There was a last-minute order, something about a contemporary furniture exhibition? And he had to bring some more wood samples."

"That's a long way from Busan..." Taehyung thought aloud as he slumped over the table.

Jimin hummed in agreement as he let his father know where they could meet once his classes were over, and he put his phone away. Finally looking up again, he noticed Yoongi's gaze fixed on him as if he was pondering on something. Jimin returned the look and tilted his head in question.

Yoongi shook his head, his long, dark bangs falling over his eyes. "Nothing. It's just that I think my dad used to work there too. I mean, there's only one wood fabric in Busan."

"But I thought you were from Daegu?" Taehyung piped up, voice muffled by his arm, not bothering to straighten up a bit so he could be clearly heard. "That's what Hoseok told me, at least."

"I am," Yoongi confirmed, "but my dad used to work in Busan until they opened a subsidiary in Daegu. He transferred a few years ago," he explained, looking at Jimin, who was just a little wide-eyed by this new piece of information.

"Really?" Jimin inquired a little incredulously because what were the odds? But Yoongi just nodded from his seat in front of them.

"What a coincidence," Tae commented casually as he caught how the other two were staring at each other.

The conversation was left there, but Jimin couldn't stop thinking about it for some reason. That information had stirred a weird feeling inside of him, and by the time his classes finished, he had made up his mind.

Lunch with his dad went well. They went to a place with actual food and not the fast food places Taehyung loved so much. The dishes were delicious, and Jimin didn't have to pay, which was a nice extra. While they were being served the stew they had ordered, Jimin casually let his father know about what he had discovered that morning.

"You know," he started once he had swallowed a spoonful of his food, "a classmate told me his dad worked in the same company as you do."

"Really?" His father asked, interested. "What's his father's name?"

"I don't know," Jimin admitted, taking a sip of his water to try to take a hold of his increasing and unexpected nerves. "He told me he transferred to Daegu some years ago. Oh, and his surname is Min."

"From Daegu?" His dad thought aloud before his eyes shined with recognition. "Oh, Min Hyun Bin? It must be him if he used to work in Busan," his father confirmed before tasting the stew and commenting offhandedly: "We're good friends, actually."

"You are?!" Jimin questioned incredulously, way too loudly and not at all casual like he had been trying so hard to seem. "I mean, you know, are you sure it's him?" He asked to make sure, trying to play it cool.

The man chuckled softly. "Yes, I'm sure. Our company is not that big, and we were both in the same sector. It has to be him," he explained, serving them some more water. "Now that I think about it, he mentioned something about his youngest son being in the same university as you."

"Wait, what?" The boy stopped his father right there, trying to process everything without freaking out. "You talked about me to him?"

The man looked taken aback by that. "I mean, we talk about our families. We've been friends for a long time, and he's always talking about how proud he's of his son going to university after his oldest refused to do so. He seems like a good kid."

This was surreal. Was his father really talking about Yoongi like he knew him? Well, he was doing so because he actually did, or at least he knew of his existence before Jimin had even met him. The boy felt like he had been struck, but also like he was overreacting because so what? That didn't change anything.

Nonetheless, there was a giddy feeling settling in his chest at the prospect of having such a connection to Yoongi without either of them knowing about it.

"What a coincidence," his dad said, repeating Taehyung's words, and Jimin tried very hard not to squeal in the middle of the restaurant.

That's why the moment he arrived at his dorm, Jimin word exploded everything that had happened to a startled Taehyung, who had been slouching on a bean bag with a mouth full of raw ramen. His appearance had been like that of a hurricane, dragging the other bean bag in front of Taehyung, rambling without a warning, and it was proving to be quite difficult to follow everything his friend was telling him.

“Can you believe that?!” Jimin finished gripping the fabric of his friend's hoodie and shaking him in his excitement.

The loud crunch of Taehyung finally biting into the big piece of ramen in his mouth only made Jimin squirm in his seat as he waited for the other to be able to speak again.

“Life is so weird sometimes,” Taehyung mumbled with difficulty as he chewed.

“Right? Like what are the odds?” Jimin agreed, speaking too quickly in his excitement. “It's like we were meant to meet, or something like that,” he continued with a giddy smile, his eyes glinting, as he finally leaned back into the soft seat.

Taehyung observed his friend silently, finally able to swallow his snack completely. There was a knowing glint in Tae's eyes mixed with a hint of concern.

“Is this your lunch?” Jimin inquired disapprovingly as he took the empty bag of ramen and shook it in front of the other boy.

Taehyung took it with a gasp as if he had been offended. “What? No!” He denied, holding a hand over his heart in an overdramatic manner before he relaxed again against his seat and pointed to the desk. “I also had a coke.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you want to die young,” Jimin chastised him, but he hadn't been able to completely get rid of his previous smile, so there was no bite to his words.

“I’m just testing my limits,” Taehyung said with a flicker of his hand.

Jimin stopped himself from facepalming. Instead, he let out a heavy sigh, leaving it at that. A comfortable silence ensued between the roommates as they sat there, looking at nothing in particular as they went over the events of that day.

After such a rush of excitement, Jimin felt a little drowsy, like those emotions had tired him out in the end. He found himself with his mind blank, just looking in front of himself without really seeing anything. That's why Taehyung's question threw him off so hard.

“Do you like him?” His friend asked him with his eyes fixed on the wall instead of looking at the other boy.

The question startled Jimin, not having anticipated it at all, but he was surprised to notice that it didn't spook him. Yet, it left him at a loss.

Is that what that giddiness was whenever something happened that involved Yoongi? Is that why he wanted to see him every day and text him? Why he wanted the elder to show interest in him and take the initiative when they talked? Why he was so excited about something as stupid as their dads being friends?

The realisation didn't hit him like lightning or left him breathless. Jimin felt calm and at peace like he had finally been able to put a name to all his inner turmoil since he met the other guy.

“Yeah, I guess I do,” he admitted slowly with a hint of amazement in his voice.

Jimin turned to look at his friend slightly wide-eyed, and Taehyung could only chuckle before ruffling his hair affectionately.

“About time you realised it.”

***

It had been so long since Jimin liked someone that he had been seriously wondering if he had lost the ability to feel attracted to other people in that way.

Well, he could confirm now that that wasn't the case.

After that realisation, whenever he stepped into the classroom, and he made eye contact with Yoongi, Jimin wasn't confused by the butterflies in his stomach. Whenever he received a text from Yoongi, he understood why he felt the need to muffle his embarrassing squealing while he rolled around in his bed.

Yet, as time passed, nothing seemed to be enough. Jimin was starting to feel greedy about spending more time with the other and getting to know him outside class. After all, there was so much he could learn about Yoongi via texts or the few hours a week they spent in the classroom where they couldn't even talk that much properly.

Therefore, when Taehyung told him about Hoseok’s birthday party, Jimin felt ecstatic for the opportunity. Yoongi was one of Hoseok’s best friends, so of course, he would be there. It was the perfect chance to see him in a social and more relaxed environment, and Jimin was very excited but also extremely nervous. It was a miracle Taehyung hadn't decked him already so he would finally shut up about it.

Taehyung and he arrived at the bar later than they had planned. By that time, everyone was already quite buzzed or on their way to be, and the music could hardly muffle people's loud talking and shouting. There were people playing games, making bets on who could drink more shots in a row. Some were dancing, and others were sitting and enjoying the night in a less rowdy manner.

It was hard to find Hoseok as he was surrounded by many people, dancing and laughing with everybody. Taehyung was the one who finally located him and took Jimin by the wrist to pull him through the crowd so they could reach him and wish him a happy birthday. Jimin didn't want to seem rude and went along with him, but he couldn't help himself from looking around as discreetly as possible, searching for a certain older guy.

“Happy birthday, hyung!” Taehyung congratulated with a bright smile and resting a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, you guys came!” Hoseok exclaimed too loudly to be heard over all the noise. “Thank you, TaeTae. I’m glad you are here too, Jimin”.

“Thank you for inviting me, and happy birthday,” Jimin told him with a smile.

“Thanks! I was starting to think that you both wouldn’t show up. But I shouldn’t be surprised knowing Taehyung.”

Jimin didn’t know Hoseok very well yet. They had just talked about trivial stuff the couple of times they had met. But they had been enough to confirm that he was a good guy, and the younger had the impression that his best friend had put in a good word for him by how friendly Hoseok seemed towards him. Or maybe he was like that to everybody.

“Where is Yoongi-hyung? He told me he would be here,” Taehyung commented nonchalantly. Jimin wanted to smack him in the head so bad for that.

But Hoseok only smirked in a way that made Jimin narrow his eyes slightly in suspicion. “He went for a drink,” he answered as he turned to stand on his tippy toes and try to locate his friend. “There he is,” he said once he found him, signalling towards the counter.

Taehyung nudged Jimin while Hoseok still wasn’t looking and mouthed a ‘Go with him’.

“It’s okay. I’ll stay,” Jimin shook his head quickly, voice quiet so only Tae would hear him.

“Go,” Taehyung insisted instead, taking him by the shoulders and turning him around with a smirk.

Jimin still hesitated, looking over his shoulder to his friend and wanting to protest. But upon seeing Hoseok’s knowing look and smile, someone who he had only seen a couple of times before, made him feel embarrassed and decided that he’d rather go than stay and hear about the possibility of his crush being too obvious.

Yoongi was by the bar’s counter, most likely waiting for a new drink judging by the empty glass in front of him. His eyes were fixed on the barman who was preparing a drink. That's why Yoongi didn't see him coming, which only made Jimin more nervous.

It won't be weird. We know each other. It's gonna be okay.

It was when Yoongi finally got his drink and turned around that Jimin reached him. His eyes widened when he saw him, and the younger hoped that wasn't a bad sign.

“Hey,” Jimin greeted, trying not to sound awkward and failing miserably. Luckily, Yoongi wasn't much better.

“Hey,” he slurred back. Having forgotten about his drink, Yoongi raised his arm to point at Jimin and spilled a bit of his drink on the floor. He didn't seem to notice, though. “What are you doing here?”

Jimin was a little taken aback by that and the difficulty with which the other was speaking. He was used to the slow slur of his words whenever he spoke, but this was worse than usual. His sunbae was quite drunk.

“I came with Taehyung. He’s good friends with Hoseok,” Jimin clarified slowly as he observed how Yoongi’s cheeks looked redder than usual and the slight sway of his body that he didn't seem aware of. “Do you want to sit down?”

Yoongi shook his head before he took a sip of his drink. “I’m good,” he replied, shaking his glass a little and watching how the liquid moved around, luckily not spilling any this time. “You want some?” He asked, offering the drink.

“Huh?” Jimin muttered very eloquently, taken aback by the offer. “It's okay.”

Yoongi made a noise that Jimin couldn't quite catch over the loud music, but he could’ve sword he had just whined. “We can share,” he insisted, this time taking the other by the wrist and putting the glass in his hand.

“O-Okay,” Jimin took it with a stutter and looked at it nervously.

Does this count as an indirect kiss?

Jimin blushed like crazy at that childish and sudden thought. Glancing in the other’s direction, he found Yoongi’s eyes following his movements with a dazed look, lips slightly open. He wasn't sure how much his sunbae had drunk, but it was clear it had been enough to leave him quite intoxicated. This was definitely a new side of him, but Jimin wasn't sure if he liked it yet.

Jimin wasn't used to drinking yet. He didn't really like it, but maybe that was because he hadn't drunk much since he had turned 20. Also, it wouldn't be fair to judge others negatively for drinking when they were at a party. Everyone was free to do as they pleased as long as they didn’t harm others.

Without thinking much, Jimin took a drink and immediately regretted it. He didn't know much about alcohol, but that drink was very strong by the way it burned as it made its way down his throat. He tried very hard not to cough at that, but he couldn't stop the ugly grimace that marred his face.

Taking a last look at the glass, Jimin quickly passed it back to Yoongi, who took it happily, drinking again. Yoongi looked content, humming to himself as he looked around.

It was strange. Jimin had always seen him in class where he was serious, calm and collected. Yoongi always looked sleep-deprived but also like he had everything under control in a layback way. Jimin always thought he looked a bit intimidating despite having talked to him multiple times in class, but he knew that was all it was: an impression.

However, looking at him now, surrounded by so many people as he sipped his drink and looked around with big and curious eyes, his sunbae looked so small and so… cute.

Jimin felt his cheeks warm up at the thought, but he told himself it was just an aftermath of the alcohol.

It was a new side of Yoongi indeed.

Yoongi continued shoving the drink in the younger’s hands to share it, and Jimin found himself awestruck by this new facet of him and readily complied despite the drink being too much for him. They kept doing that until someone shoved Yoongi on their way to the bar.

“I don't like it here,” Yoongi grumbled softly, his lips resting on the brim of the glass.

“Why?”

“Too noisy,” he said before looking around with a frown as if suddenly everyone was his enemy. “Too many people,” he pouted as he continued, looking around suspiciously as if he was expecting that, at any moment, someone would attack him.

Jimin was endeared, and he tried hard to suppress the sudden urge to hug him.

“Drink,” Yoongi then stated with pursed lips.

It made Jimin falter. He felt a wave of heat starting in his stomach and travelling to his limbs. He tried to convince himself that that was solely due to how much he had drunk already.

These are a lot of indirect kisses , he thought to himself with his gaze fixed on the glass still in the other’s grasp.

“At least eight by now,” Yoongi piped up, and Jimin’s head snapped up as he regarded him with horror.

Did I just say that out loud?!

“You did,” Yoongi answered again nonchalantly as he looked at the long glass in his hand with an eye closed as if it was a telescope or something. It was a miracle he didn't spill what little alcohol was left on himself.

To say that Jimin was panicking would be an understatement. He was so embarrassed that he hoped the earth would open up right then and there, and it would swallow him whole, no questions asked. Jimin could feel his face burning up and the uncomfortable churning of his stomach that, mixed with the alcohol, was making him feel sick.

Those thoughts had been so childish and embarrassing, he couldn’t believe he had voiced them out loud in front of the older guy. Jimin was waiting for the mocking to begin, but when he finally got the courage to steal a glance in the other’s direction, he realised that Yoongi was acting as out of it as he had before.

Just how much had the other drank? The younger didn’t know but right now he thanked the gods for it.

Yoongi was oblivious about his panicked state as he cradled the drink to protect it with a glare as two guys passed him by. The strangers didn't touch Yoongi this time, but one of them bumped against Jimin’s shoulder, making the younger lose his footing a little.

“This place is full of savages, I tell you. I can’t believe they are all Hoseok’s friends,” Yoongi was murmuring to himself as he looked around narrowing his eyes in distrust, waiting for the next possible danger.

Still feeling a little mortified, Jimin couldn’t say a thing yet, but he observed the other’s behaviour once again and couldn’t help but think about how different this side of Yoongi was.

Jimin had been thinking about how cool it could be to get to know the other better in another scenario, and he had been expecting to be able to talk to him about stuff that had nothing to do with their studies. However, there was no way they could even have a decent conversation in his current state without the other getting distracted.

It wasn’t like Yoongi had lost his composure, though. He didn’t look like he was completely out of it, just a bit more open and vulnerable. And a little silly, but Jimin found that very endearing.

(God, he wanted to slap himself in the face).

Instead, it was Jimin who felt like he was the one losing control. Yoongi had answered to every single thing he had said—even the things he didn’t know he had voiced out—in a coherent way, unlike himself. So Jimin guessed he shouldn't be judging the other’s behaviour.

“Do you want another kiss?” Yoongi asked as if it was nothing, rubbing one of his eyes in a way that reminded Jimin of a cat.

“Sunbaenim!” Jimin protested scandalised but mostly mortified, unable to stop himself from hiding his face in his hands. “You should really stop drinking already,” he told him weakly instead, voice muffled.

“But there’s still some left,” Yoongi countered, stirring the last remnants of his drink. “You sure you don’t want it?”

A kiss. Do you want another kiss?

The words kept repeating in Jimin’s head, and he felt like taking the glass and smashing it against his head to make the voices stop. And to punish himself for his stupidity.

“Just drink it and get it over!” Jimin ended up blurting in his embarrassment.

Yoongi sent him a flat look before shrugging and chucking down the last of the drink. “Okay, let’s go for another one,” he said, turning to the bar again, but Jimin stopped him by taking him by the arm.

“Hyung, I think you’ve drunk enough. Let’s rest for a bit, okay?” He tried to convince him, almost pleadingly at this point.

“I’m okay, though,” he responded, tripping over his own feet. “Stop moving around. You’re making me dizzy, Jimin.”

The boy sent him an exhausted look. “I’m not even moving.”

“Yes, you are. Stop that,” he grumbled as he spread his arms by his sides to try to keep his balance.

Jimin hadn’t moved at all.

The younger sighed. “We should find Hoseok-hyung," he uttered mostly to himself as he looked around in case the birthday boy was near.

Being distracted doing that, Jimin didn’t catch the guy passing by, who ended up pushing a very out of balance Yoongi. The curse he let out warned Jimin, who only had time to raise his arms and catch the other before he ended up falling onto his face.

“Woah, you okay?” Jimin asked with his sunbae still in his arms, trying to take a look at his face.

But he couldn’t. Because Yoongi broke the small space between them and sagged against the other boy almost completely like he had given up on life. Grabbing him tightly and gasping at the sudden weight, Jimin's brain stopped working when Yoongi pressed his cheek against his shoulder.

“You smell good,” Yoongi murmured as he nuzzled Jimin, his nose poking the younger’s neck.

Jimin could only choke at that, feeling extremely flustered. Yoongi’s warm breath against his neck sent chills down his spine, and the boy just stood there, not knowing how to react or what to do. He was paralyzed, but a spark of excitement was making his heart beat like crazy in his chest. Jimin just hoped the other couldn’t feel it.

“You called Hoseok hyung,” Yoongi whined, snapping the other out of his daze. Jimin could only hum in question before Yoongi continued. “You don’t call me hyung.”

Jimin went rigid at that, surprised with this turn of events. Was this really happening? Was this entire night just a fever dream? What the heck was going on? Jimin thought that nothing that could happen next could take him by surprise anymore.

He was so wrong, though.

“You should call me hyung too,” Yoongi murmured against his skin before he opened his mouth and bit Jimin's neck.

It was hard to admit, but Jimin didn’t register what was happening until it was embarrassingly late. He just suddenly felt a weird, wet pinch in his neck that left a tingling sensation on his skin before something soft caressed the spot, and it was gone as soon as it came.

Jimin felt Yoongi sigh as he stood straight again in front of him, finally putting some distance between them and relieving Jimin from having to support him. Yoongi’s gaze was intense, and it wasn’t until his eyes flickered down to Jimin’s neck that the younger realised he had raised his hand to touch that spot in confusion.

Right then. That was the exact moment it dawned on him what had just happened.

His eyes widened almost comically, his body tensing up as all his blood rushed to his face—some of it ran down south, though, but he couldn't deal with that at the moment; it was too much. Yoongi’s cat eyes were so intense that Jimin thought they could set him on fire at that moment.

It had felt good.

Very good.

However, despite his developing crush on Yoongi, the pang of arousal that invaded his senses wasn’t enough to cover the wave of fear that crashed him. A cold and uncomfortable sensation in the pit of his stomach made Jimin start to panic in a completely different way than before.

That’s not what he had come to this party for. He wanted to talk to Yoongi, laugh with him and get to know him better. But not in that sense. Not yet. Not like this.

And it made Jimin so anxious that he could only stare in shock at the other as he fretted on the inside while Yoongi returned the look with a tilt of his head as if confused or curious about the other’s silence.

As if Yoongi hadn’t just bitten and kissed his neck.

Oh my gosh, that just actually happened.

He needed to go. He couldn’t face this right now. Jimin didn’t know what he should do in such a situation. He just wanted out.

When the boy thought that he was at the brink of passing out right then and there, Taehyung, his guardian angel, came to his rescue accompanied by Hoseok.

“We finally found you,” Taehyung said oblivious to what had just happened and the silence between Yoongi and Jimin. Planting a hand on Jimin’s shoulder, the boy stumbled in his place at the force, and his best friend sent him a worried look. “Jimin? Are you okay?”

It wasn’t the right moment.

And that was his chance.

Jimin ran away.

Chapter Text

Jimin spent the following days and the whole weekend moping in his room. That had been the most embarrassing night of his life, and he just wanted to forget about it and do as if it never happened, but it was proving to be difficult. Whenever his mind seemed to have finally calmed down, images of it came rushing back and made him cringe and curl up in his bed as he berated himself mentally.

Not only that, but he also owed Taehyung an explanation, and he had to tell his friend everything that had happened. Jimin tried to give him a short version to save himself some of the embarrassment, but his friend hadn't fallen for it, and he had demanded the whole story in detail. It was so humiliating, and Tae had cackled a few times before he tried to contain himself for Jimin’s sanity. Once he was finished, Taehyung comforted him by telling him that it hadn't been so bad and that he was overreacting. But that was to be expected because he was his best friend, and it was his job to calm him down and tell him that everything would be okay, so his words didn't make Jimin feel less ashamed.

After Jimin got his hyung's phone number, it had become a routine to text Yoongi often about assignments or trivial stuff just so his name would pop up on his phone. However, he hadn’t been able to send him a single one in days after that night. Jimin didn’t know what to tell him. It pained him just to think about texting him because of his mortification.

He was aware that he wasn’t the only one who had made a fool out of himself. Yoongi hadn’t exactly been brilliant either, but Jimin liked the guy, so he wasn’t seeing the situation from an objective point of view.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he flopped face down onto his bed dramatically and stopped himself from whining out loud. He had assignments and exams to study for, but Jimin was just unable to focus on anything. His brain just wouldn’t cooperate, and he felt useless and guilty about his procrastination. The only thing that managed to distract him from his misery was the sound of his phone beeping because of a text.

Languidly, he rolled around until he could reach out for the device that was on the floor. With some difficulty, the boy raised his head that was buried on his pillow to look at it.

His heart skipped a beat before it started pounding in his chest at the name displayed on the screen.

Not really knowing what he was doing, he found himself throwing his phone to the other side of the bed as he curled up, his pillow clutched to his chest and eyes like saucers. Jimin was so surprised by it that his first reaction was to put physical distance between the device and him. That had shaken him up more than it should have; more than he was willing to admit.

This was stupid. It was just his phone, just another text. He had to reply at some point. But before he could do that, Jimin had to actually read the message. Turning to lie his back and still hugging his pillow, he bit his lip as he looked at the ceiling.

He needed to get over this. He had to. His embarrassment was justified, but this was becoming pathetic very quickly, and he wasn't okay with that. Jimin wasn't a coward, and if he wanted to move on and start convincing his brain not to remind him of what happened at Hoseok’s birthday every single minute of the day, he had to do something about it. And the opportunity had presented itself, so he would be grateful for it and take it.

That didn't mean it was easy or that he wouldn't rather continue wallowing in his misery because it was easier.

Finally letting go of the pillow, Jimin glanced at his phone before sighing and reaching out to get it.

yoongi: hey, you okay?

The text was short and simple. Very Yoongi, but not the question itself. Jimin didn't think he had ever asked him about his well-being.

Oh god, he remembered what happened, right? Of course he did. Ugh, Jimin hated himself for getting in such an awkward position. Maybe if he acted like nothing was wrong, the other would take the hint and leave it at that...

jimin: i am

yoongi: it’s been some time since the last time we talked

His fast response made the younger’s stomach twist with nerves. Yoongi usually took his time to reply, but it seemed like today he wasn't very busy.

jimin: yeah, you’re right

yoongi: you sure you’re okay?

Jimin wanted to scream. Couldn't he just leave it be? Was it necessary to talk about it?

He was debating over whether he felt annoyed or on the verge of melting because Yoongi was concerned about him. Both feelings were contradictory, but they were his, and they were valid and screw anyone who judged him.

Maybe if he continued acting oblivious the other would get it and drop the subject.

jimin: why do you ask?

yoongi: hoseok told me you disappeared during his birthday party. i was wondering if something happened

Wait. He didn't know?

jimin: you

jimin: *you don’t remember?

yoongi: i was quite drunk

yoongi: it’s embarrassing but i remember close to nothing

Ouch?

That had hurt.

Why had that hurt?

Jimin suddenly felt blindsided by such a turn of events, his mind blank.

Technically speaking, that was what Jimin had wanted. Leave this behind without having to have an awkward conversation about it. This was great, they could move on like nothing happened.

But something did happen.

Even if Jimin was mortified about it and he had ended up running away because he got scared, in the end, he had kind of liked it. Because he liked Yoongi, and he had shown some kind of attraction towards him at that moment.

But he didn't remember. Yoongi hadn't been aware of his actions because he had been too drunk.

It had just been a drunken mistake.

Jimin got caught up in his thoughts for so long that he ended up not replying for a long time. However, the text was marked as ‘read’, and Yoongi could see that.

yoongi: so something did happen

Swallowing down his bitter disappointment, Jimin rushed to type a response.

jimin: it’s not like that, it’s okay

yoongi: did i do something?

yoongi: something that upset you?

jimin: nonono

jimin: everything’s okay, really

jimin: i’ve just been busy, that’s why i haven’t talked to you much lately haha

yoongi: you sure?

jimin: totally!

Jimin hesitated, but he ended up sending another text because what did he have left to lose at this point? Nothing.

jimin: why? did you miss me, hyung? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

A few minutes passed, but Yoongi didn't respond. With a bitter chuckle, Jimin tried not to get too sad about it.

Of course, he wouldn’t reply to that.

He was suddenly so tired. His body felt heavy, but not as much as his heart did. If he hadn't run away, maybe he wouldn't be in this position. But then again, he was glad he hadn't done something he wasn't ready to do. He always listened to his heart, and he just knew he hadn't been ready. Jimin wouldn't betray his own feelings for another person.

That didn't mean he was feeling any less disappointed. In himself, in Yoongi, in what could’ve happened if the situation had been different.

Timing had failed him and showed him that liking someone could be this bitter.

Maybe he was better off not having feelings for other people. Maybe it wasn't worth the giddiness and happiness that having a crush brought when those nice feelings could be snatched away easily in a single blow.

Their classes together came to an end the following week, Jimin remembered with determination, trying to get rid of his creeping sadness. Then, they would have an exam, and they wouldn't meet each other again. That would make it easier to forget.

beep

With vacant eyes, Jimin looked down at his phone still in his hand when a new notification popped up.

yoongi: kinda

Jimin's heart skipped a beat.

***

It’s funny how easy it is for the heart to forget about the things it wants to erase when it comes to love.

By the time classes started again on Monday, Jimin found himself re-energized and ready to take on his exams and meet Yoongi again thanks to that one tiny text.

He couldn't deny that he had been nervous before entering the classroom, but the moment he saw him and Yoongi sent him a small smile, Jimin forgot about everything else and greeted him in his usual cheerful manner.

They spent the next week sitting together in class and texting often. It was the same as before, but Jimin couldn't help but think that this was better. It no longer felt like the younger was burdening Yoongi with his texts; it felt normal and organic. Like a normal friendship.

This realisation made Jimin extremely happy. That's why he was trying his hardest not to think about how their time together was coming to an end. The boy spent the days left of the semester enjoying himself and making the most of them.

But the passage of time is inexorable, and everything ends up coming to an end no matter how much one hates it.

Soon after they were handing in their exams and sighing in relief. Another year had gone by just like that.

“Good riddance,” Yoongi was muttering under his breath, only for Jimin to hear him as his sunbae got up from his seat.

“We still don’t know if we’ve passed,” Jimin reminded him with a chuckle.

“Pff, as if you would fail any class, Park Jimin,” Yoongi scoffed, shooting the boy a mocking smile and raising an eyebrow. “You’re the biggest nerd I’ve ever met after Namjoon.”

“I’m not a nerd,” Jimin protested with a glare, also getting up. “I’m just responsible and good at organising my time so I can study productively. It's called time management.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen your timetables,” Yoongi nodded to himself as he put his laptop inside his backpack. “You’re a nerd.”

Jimin huffed indignantly. “And you’re a sleep-deprived disaster.”

“Well, lucky you. You won’t have to see my eye bags as often after today.”

Yoongi said those words in a humorous way like it was nothing, but it stopped Jimin from continuing to pack his things. He had been trying very hard not to think about that. It was hard coming to terms with their new reality.

“Can we still text?” Jimin asked out of nowhere, sounding way too soft around the edges, but he couldn't help himself. Not with the sadness that was gnawing at his heart and that made him lower his head, scared of the other's possible response.

Yoongi turned to him upon hearing the change in the younger's voice and stared at Jimin for a moment before averting his gaze and going back to packing his stuff. “Sure,” he let out airily, making Jimin finally raise his head. “I mean, it’d be weird to not be bombarded with your texts and your weird-ass emoticons every day just because we don’t share this class anymore.”

Jimin felt so much relief at those words, but he bit down the big smile that was threatening to curl his lips up. “I’m not that bad!” Jimin decided to say instead, but despite trying to scowl at Yoongi, the way his lips were slightly curving at the corners was giving him away.

“Yeah, you are,” Yoongi snorted as he swung his backpack over his shoulder.

“And my emojis are very cute," Jimin continued sulking.

"No, they're weird and way too expressive. Can't you just use a simple smiley face?" Yoongi kept teasing him, finding the other's reaction highly entertaining.

"Smiley faces are boring and kind of shady. I only use them with people I don't know well or don't feel very comfortable with."

Yoongi stared at him for a second, lifting an eyebrow. "You have very strong opinions about the weirdest things, just like Taehyung."

"If you're gonna be like this, then I won’t text you that much,” Jimin added, pouting as he hugged his folder close to his chest, having finished packing everything else too.

“That's not what I meant.”

Jimin had been joking, but at that, he lifted his eyes to Yoongi, and he found himself unable to look away from the other with a dazed expression on his face. Jimin was so sure he looked stupid, but he couldn't snap out of it. Not until Yoongi smiled at him softly and messed the younger’s hair playfully before heading for the door.

The butterflies were fluttering wildly in Jimin’s stomach, and he was hoping that his blush wasn't too evident.

“See you at the festival?” Yoongi asked when they left the class and before they had to part ways.

The annual festival of their faculty took place as a way of wrapping up the academic year. It served as a goodbye and to de-stress after all the exams and classes were over. Jimin was very eager to see what it was all about and now, at the prospect of meeting Yoongi there, his excitement only increased tenfold.

“Sure!” Jimin replied cheerfully, smiling so big that his eyes turned into little crescents.

***

It was their first festival, and Taehyung and Jimin were in awe at all the stands and food trucks on their campus. The grand patio had been decorated with pretty lights and garlands. There was even a scenario at the other end of the premises where showcases would take place The final touch was the big bonfire where people could throw in small papers to get rid of the negative things that had happened that year. It was a way of cleansing yourself from all the bad things and starting the next year in better spirits. Jimin wasn't sure if that would actually work, but he really liked the idea and thought behind it.

As they walked around the festival, Taehyung was stuffing his mouth with fries while Jimin enjoyed some fish cakes with Jungkook. He was still in high school, but he wanted to take a look at what was awaiting him in the next year, so they had invited him. The youngest seemed quite happy as he munched on his tteokbokki , red sauce smeared on his lips. Jimin quickly passed him some napkins he had grabbed from the food stand, knowing how messy their friends could be.

“This is so good. I don't get why you’re always complaining about college,” Jungkook said as he picked another piece of rice cake.

Taehyung snorted. “You’re just seeing the good parts. Can't wait to hear you bitching about classes next year with us.”

As they bickered and pushed each other around, Jimin just smiled fondly at the pair as they made their way around the festival and enjoyed their treats. It was quite crowded, and they were trying to stick close to each other as they navigated through all the students and visitors.

“Hey, let's sit down and eat some jjajangmyeon ,” Taehyung suggested once they were finished eating.

“Sounds good,” Jimin agreed, wanting to get away from the crowd for a little bit.

Some of the stands had prepared a small area with benches and tables where people could eat, so they chose to do just that and made their way over there.

“Taehyung! Jimin! Over here!”

At hearing their names, the three friends turned around to see who was calling them. Hoseok was standing up and waving his arm over his head so they could spot him. He was at one of those tables with other friends, who were also looking in their direction.

Jimin was quick to notice the mop of black hair of his sunbae among them.

“Hyung! I was starting to think we wouldn’t see you,” Taehyung told him when they got closer. “There are so many people.”

“Must be fate,” Hoseok laughed. “Were you planning to eat something?"

“Yup, we were looking for a table.”

“Well, you’ve found one,” Hoseok offered with a smile before turning to his friends. “Do you guys mind if they join us?”

“Not at all,” replied the blond one with the cute dimples.

“Sit down. The more the merrier,” the handsome guy sitting by his side agreed, scooting over to make some room.

Yoongi just nodded.

“Thank you,” Jimin told them as they made their way to the available seats by the table.

Taehyung and Jungkook sat on the bench next to Hoseok’s friends, leaving Jimin to sit in front of them and next to Yoongi. As he sat down, he sent him a small smile that Yoongi returned softly before going back to his food.

“I don’t think you all know each other so: these are my friends, Seokjin and Namjoon. And you already know Yoongi-hyung over here,” Hoseok introduced them, ruffling the latter's hair and making the guy scowl at him. Hoseok just laughed it off.

“Oh,” Jimin let out at this new piece of information. He finally knew who Namjoon was. He turned to look at Yoongi, who just shrugged and hid a smile in his hand, his elbow resting on the table.

“And these are my cute hoobaes Taehyung and Jimin, and… I don’t think I’ve ever met you before,” Hoseok admitted, looking at the youngest boy with curiosity.

“He’s our friend Jungkook. He’s still in high school, but he wanted to come to see what this was all about,” Taehyung introduced him as he put his arm around the younger’s shoulders with a big smile.

“That’s good. Are you liking college thus far?” Hoseok asked him with a kind smile.

Jungkook nodded. “If the food’s always this good, you’ll see me around campus next year.”

The guys chuckled at Jungkook's cute response as he eyed the others' food hungrily.

“So we finally meet Jimin,” Namjoon piped up, having noticed the boy's previous reaction. “Don’t tell me. He’s also talked to you about me being a nerd, right?” He continued, looking at Jimin and pointing casually to Yoongi with his finger.

Blushing slightly, Jimin let out a nervous giggle. “Well, he’s always saying I’m a nerd too, so…”

“Yeah, he’s also told me about that,” Namjoon admitted, sending his hyung a mocking smile. “He’s just that nice.”

Seokjin laughed at Yoongi’s grumbling. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Jimin.”

He’s talked to his friends about me?

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Jimin managed to articulate, still in a daze at the possibility of Yoongi talking about him when he wasn't around.

It wouldn’t be weird, though. Jimin talked about Yoongi to his friends too. The difference was that Jimin had actual feelings for him. Maybe… could it be that he was interested too?

Shaking his head, Jimin willed the thought away. He didn’t want to fluster himself in front of the others any more than he already had. There would be no hiding it when he was currently surrounded by all of them.

They had a good time just eating, talking and laughing as they got to know each other a little bit. Jimin enjoyed himself a lot. Even Jungkook, who was usually intimidated by new people, especially when they were older than him, also seemed to have a good time. It was a very enjoyable moment, and Jimin finally got to spend time with his hyung outside of the classroom and without a drop of alcohol in their system.

“You’re so quiet when you eat,” Jimin pointed out with a giggle as he watched Yoongi stuff his mouth with ramen.

Yoongi took a napkin to wipe his lips and looked at Jimin as if wanting to say something, but his sunbae refused to speak with a full mouth. Having heard the comment while the others were having another conversation, it was Seokjin who replied to Jimin first.

“That’s because he likes the food. Otherwise, he wouldn’t shut up,” he informed Jimin with a snort when Yoongi narrowed his eyes at him in annoyance, still swallowing his food.

“Stop studying me while I’m eating, hyung," Yoongi grumbled as he took a sip of his soda. "You’re gonna give me indigestion.”

“It wasn’t me who started,” Jin pointed out amused.

Jimin felt a blush rising to his cheeks, feeling like he was being called out. Had his previous comment sounded stalkerish? Had that been weird? It hadn’t been his intention. Did that make Yoongi uncomfortable?

Making a noncommittal noise, Yoongi took his chopsticks again and twirled his noodles. He turned his head to look at Jimin before nodding towards the boy's food.

“They’re gonna get soggy if you don’t hurry up,” Yoongi murmured, looking at the other’s ramen.

Jimin sat up straight at that, the tension clear in his shoulders. But when Yoongi finally raised his gaze again and made eye contact with Jimin, his eyes were clear of any annoyance. They were calm like nothing was wrong, and they encouraged him to calm down.

Humming in agreement, Jimin turned to his food again as he tried to hide a little smile. Taking his chopsticks again, he mimicked Yoongi and twirled his noodles before taking a bite. Covering his mouth with his hand as he chewed, Jimin noticed his sunbae's gaze still glued to him. When the younger returned his gaze, Yoongi passed him a napkin. Jimin accepted it with an embarrassed closed-lip smile, and Yoongi just nodded before quickly going back to continue eating his own food.

As Jimin chewed, he lifted his head and made eye contact with Jin, who had been looking at them. The eldest sent him a knowing smirk before he went back to the other conversation as if nothing had happened.

Jimin wasn’t sure how he managed not to choke on his ramen.

After their bellies were full for the time being, they all decided to look around together. It was hard to walk as a group among so many people, but they managed somehow. At one point, music started playing in the distance, which signalled the start of the showcases, and they decided to go and take a look.

People had started gathering by the stage’s front by the time they got there. That's why they ended up standing a little far from it. It was okay, though, as they could still see fairly well from there. Plus, if they decided to go, it would be easier from where they stood.

When they arrived, there was a group of boys dancing to a hip-hop song on stage, and the audience was cheering for them. It was great and Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin were quickly swept away by their energy. Soon after, they were cheering for them too and moving along to the song.

The next performer was a singer who covered a girl group song, and everyone sang along with him. There was also a group of students who did gags and had everyone roaring with laughter. The concert was full of talented people, and Jimin was having an amazing time singing, dancing and laughing with his friends. However, they hadn't counted on how many people would end up surrounding them as the performances went on.

Excitement ran high and, at times, they found themselves being squeezed as people danced and sang along. Jimin thought that it was becoming a little suffocating as time passed. After another wave of people pushed them, Jimin looked around to see how his friends were doing, and that's when he found Yoongi standing behind him with his hands in his pockets and shrinking into himself a little as if to appear smaller or to stop people from touching him.

Taking him by the forearm, Yoongi looked up quickly only to encounter Jimin’s concerned eyes. “Are you okay?” Jimin asked him, raising his voice to be heard over the music.

Yoongi hesitated before nodding. “Crowds aren’t really my thing,” he admitted, licking his lips and eyeing a couple of guys by his side in case they bumped into him again.

His sunbae had a sweaty fringe, and his cheeks looked slightly flushed. “Maybe we should go,” Jimin suggested after seeing Yoongi’s overwhelmed expression.

But he shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

But it doesn’t look like it.

“You were enjoying yourself. Don’t worry about me and go ahead,” he nodded in the direction of the others, who hadn't caught on to their conversation.

“We can come back later. I’m sure the rest won’t mind,” Jimin assured him, already turning to inform the others.

A tug to his arm stopped him in his tracks and looking back he saw Yoongi gripping his wrist. “Don’t. Everyone is having a good time. It’s not a big deal.”

"But it is!" Jimin retorted a little too harshly before swallowing and calming down. "You aren't okay."

“God, you're so stubborn,” Yoongi groaned to himself, squeezing his eyes shut, but Jimin was so close that he could hear him. “Just…” He stopped himself as he looked around for a solution and a way to stop the younger. “Just stay here with me, okay? Just a few more performances, and then we’ll go.”

Jimin wanted to protest again, but Yoongi’s frown made him reconsider. Yoongi wasn’t a baby. He knew what he wanted and what he could take, so Jimin ended up agreeing although a little reluctantly.

The younger stood beside his sunbae, not being able to focus on the performances anymore. It wasn't long before another wave of people squeezed them, but this time Jimin saw it coming and grabbed onto Yoongi’s waist from behind. He tried his best to leave a small space between Yoongi and the people pushing by making a barrier with his own body. It wasn't very effective even though he flexed his body with all his might to do so, but at least this time Yoongi hadn't been completely squashed against the people in front of them.

When the crowd stopped pushing, Jimin relaxed a bit, letting out a sigh at the exertion. The heat was starting to get to him, and sweating was inevitable. Feeling Yoongi squirming between his arms, Jimin looked up to see that his sunbae had shifted to look at him over his shoulder.

There was a short pause in which they just stood there, staring at each other with blank faces before Jimin reacted and quickly took his hands off the other’s waist. He also would’ve stepped back if there had been some room to do so, but it was nearly impossible at the moment.

“Are you okay, sunbaenim?” Jimin managed to ask, his voice faltering embarrassingly at the end. The younger averted his eyes at that, wincing slightly before peeking at Yoongi again, who was just staring at him with a calm expression.

“Hyung,” he corrected him before he raised a hand to Jimin’s bangs that were sweaty and falling into his eyes. “Stop with the sunbae shit. You call everyone hyung but me,” Yoongi grumbled like that annoyed him, and he combed Jimin's hair away from his eyes. “And I’m fine... Thanks.”

Happiness bloomed in Jimin's chest, and he felt grateful about his face being already flushed due to the heat because he didn't want to be teased about the wave of warmth that crashed his body at those words.

“Okay… hyung,” he said looking at Yoongi tentatively, who simply sent him a small smile before he turned to face the stage again.

Jimin spent the rest of the time trying to distract his hyung from the stifling situation they were in by commenting on the performers and making silly imitations of some of the dancers' moves. Jimin thought that his heart would burst when Yoongi broke into the biggest smile he had seen on his face until that moment. His small cute teeth were on display as well as his pink gums, and the younger thought he could melt right then and there.

After another wave of people pushed them around, Jimin decided that since it would just happen again, there was no point in letting go of his hyung, so he just remained there, holding Yoongi by the waist. Maybe he enjoyed the way they both were the same height and the sight of Yoongi’s milky nape. Maybe, at one point, Jimin rested his chin on the other’s shoulder, but only so they could hear each other over all the noise, of course.

And maybe Yoongi let him do so, no questions asked.

***

Well past the time night had fallen, the group decided that it was time to go, but not before they made one last stop.

Around the bonfire, there were a few stands where you could purchase fortune-telling papers as well as blank ones. While the firsts contained predictions about your future, in the latter, you had to write negative things before throwing the paper into the fire.

“I wanted to try this the most,” Taehyung said excitedly as he started writing on his blank paper.

“That’s cute,” Namjoon commented with a small laugh as he received his fortune-telling paper.

“It’s not cute,” Jungkook denied the other’s statement with a flat expression. “He just likes to burn stuff.”

“Oh,” Namjoon muttered, his laughter quickly dying down as he contemplated Taehyung’s maniac smile with cautiousness as the boy folded his paper. “He reminds me of—”

“Well, it wouldn’t be fun if it wasn’t for the burning part,” Seokjin chirped, returning the pen he had used with a smile to the girl working at the stand, who looked nervous at what she was hearing.

“... him,” Namjoon finished with a sigh. “It’s okay. They won’t do anything dangerous,” he tried to calm down the girl, but it only made her look more uneasy.

“Let’s do this!” Taehyung cheered, passing an arm around Seokjin's shoulders, who happily nodded with a loud laugh.

“Great. We didn't have enough with Seokjin-hyung, and now we have to take care of two idiots,” Namjoon lamented watching them with exhaustion.

“Fire, fire, fire, fire,” Taehyung and Seokjin started chanting as they made their way to the bonfire.

“He’s older. He is the one who shouldn't encourage Tae-hyung,” Jungkook said nonchalantly, probably too used to his hyung’s antics.

“Well, you know what they say,” Hoseok told them, coming from behind and Wrapping an arm around their shoulders. “If you can't beat them, join them,” he finished with a loud cheer as he dragged them to the other two.

Yoongi and Jimin, who had been the last to write their papers, only watched the scene play out, the first one in resignation, the latter in amusement.

“They're so embarrassing,” Yoongi complained wearily.

“They're idiots,” Jimin agreed, chuckling with glee.

“You ready?” Yoongi asked him, his eyes eyeing Jimin's paper.

Folding it in half, Jimin nodded. “Let's do this!” He exclaimed in a bad imitation of Taehyung.

Yoongi stared at him unamused for a moment before sighing and grabbing him by his sleeve, dragging him towards their friends while Jimin laughed loudly at his hyung’s reaction, slightly bending forwards as he followed him.

Leaving a prudent distance between them and the fire, Jimin contemplated the flames with the utmost awe. Small sparks sizzled upwards where the fire ended before they extinguished, and he found the sight exceptionally pretty. Although not as pretty as the way the bonfire illuminated Yoongi’s face and made his eyes shine.

It had been such an amazing evening, Jimin couldn’t quite believe it. He had gotten closer and got to know more about him. And it wasn’t just him who had a great time. Yoongi had seemingly enjoyed himself too by the number of times he had caught him smiling wide and carefree.

His heart was full, content, and Jimin just didn’t want the night to end. He didn’t want to be separated from his hyung; even less when he wasn’t certain when they would have the chance to see each other again. His heart twisted at the thought, and Jimin swallowed thickly.

He knew what his heart wanted him to do.

Jimin had never been good at lying. He was an open book, even more when it came to the people he loved. The younger sometimes had these urges to tell his friends and family that he loved them because he really did, and he wanted them to know. He was just so full of love and needed to share it with others.

That’s why Jimin had the sudden urge to tell Yoongi that he liked him.

It wasn’t until Yoongi turned to him and raised an eyebrow that Jimin realised he had completely crumpled up his paper while he had been too deep in thought. Opening up his palm quickly, the younger laughed awkwardly.

“It’s nothing,” he assured Yoongi, who was still staring at him. “I’m just nervous.”

Yoongi snorted at that. “We’re just throwing papers into the fire. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Jimin could only let out another uneasy chuckle at that. “You’re right.”

He didn’t think he had been that convincing judging by the way Yoongi was still looking at him, but he seemed to decide to let it go.

“Wanna do this together?” Yoongi asked with fake enthusiasm and a smirk that reminded Jimin of a mischievous cat. His pounding heart seemed to like it way too much. “I’ll even do a countdown.”

Trying not to look as flustered as he felt, Jimin shook his head at Yoongi's antics as he giggled.

“Okay, ready?” Yoongi asked him, preparing himself.

“Yes!”

“1, 2… 3!”

They both threw the papers in, and Jimin laughed to his heart content, having found the countdown way too amusing. Yoongi was also laughing softly at himself as he watched Jimin covering his face, his body shaking with the force of his chuckles.

They got distracted when they heard a little ruckus coming from their left. When they turned their heads, they saw Seokjin and Taehyung raising their arms in the air as if they were venerating the fire. A very ashamed-looking Namjoon was palming his face behind them while Jungkook had taken a few steps away and was acting like he didn’t know any of them. Hoseok, on the other hand, was almost rolling with laughter and holding onto Namjoon’s shoulder so he wouldn’t lose his footing.

“That’s why we can’t let them leave the house,” Yoongi commented flatly before looking away and taking the same stance as Jungkook had, acting like they were strangers.

Jimin couldn’t help but watch their friends with fond eyes. “They’re just having fun.”

“They’re so noisy,” he complained, sounding annoyed, but when the younger looked at him, he saw Yoongi hiding a small smile.

He was just as fond of them.

I really want to hug him right now.

Opening his eyes wide at the sudden voice in his head, Jimin felt like he had butterflies in his stomach.

He really wanted to tell him.

“Well, let’s open this up,” Yoongi cut his train of thought by taking out of his pocket the fortune-telling paper they had been given before.

Still a bit out of it, Jimin just nodded and imitated his hyung, who was already reading his fortune. The younger opened his and had to read it twice for the words to register in his too-slow brain.

The sea will bring you happiness in due time. It will grant you that which your heart yearns for the most.

Tilting his head slightly, Jimin was left confused at the weird prediction. On second thoughts, he shouldn’t have been surprised. He wasn’t one to believe in these things, they were usually written in a very vague way so that everybody could relate in some way. They weren’t usually very accurate, and even if they were, what Jimin wanted the most was just beside him.

They were in front of a huge bonfire, flames illuminating their faces and warming them up. It was a big contrast between his current situation and what the prediction said; kind of ironic, really. The boy had to stop himself from snorting bitterly.

There was someone who didn’t hide their mockery, though. Yoongi did in fact snort before he noticed Jimin’s stare. With a sarcastic smirk, the elder showed him his paper.

“ Home is where your heart is. You’ll do anything to stay in its safe and warm embrace ,” he read in a funny voice, imitating the way fortune-tellers talked.

Throwing his head back, Yoongi let out a bark of laughter, and Jimin was just mesmerized by the sound and the curve of his neck. Yoongi was handsome. He was funny, intelligent and cute. He was also stubborn and could be a bit cynical at times, but he was a kind person.

Jimin bit his lip.

I like him. So much.

There it was again. The words were on the tip of his tongue, and he was going to do it. Jimin was going to confess, and he didn’t care if his feelings would be reciprocated because he was so hung up on his hyung. He just needed him to know. The boy needed to share the affection he felt towards the other before he could explode.

Jimin was ready to do it.

His mouth was opening, and his hyung’s name was on the tip of his tongue...

“It’s funny just how wrong this is, especially because I’m leaving Korea in two weeks,” Yoongi said after recovering from his fit of laughter, still looking at his fortune-telling paper.

What?

“What?”

Yoongi stopped and stared at Jimin before tilting his head. “Didn’t I tell you? I’m going abroad on a scholarship. I’ll be in the US for a semester to study, and it includes a summer program on music composition, so it's starting pretty soon.”

Jimin felt like his brain was lagging, unable to grasp this new and important piece of information. “You’re going to the US?” He asked very intelligently because of course he was, Yoongi had just said that.

His hyung nodded. “There were two options: Japan or the States. And, honestly, my English sucks, but at least it’s better than my Japanese. I can understand what they’re saying the majority of the time even if I have trouble expressing myself sometimes.”

There was a short pause in which Jimin was trying to think of what to say.  “That’s… quite far away.” He let out, sounding a bit breathless. For some reason, the only thing he could focus on was the huge distance that would separate them soon.

“It’s also a lot more expensive,” Yoongi sighed in resignation, “but I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get another chance like this one. And I know it’s gonna be hard, and I almost won’t have money for food, but I’m also excited, you know?” He confessed as he put his hands in his pockets.

It was a gesture to conceal said excitement, but the almost shy look Yoongi sent his way was enough for Jimin to know. Yoongi was trying to seem nonchalant, but his eyes were sparkling with thrill and anticipation. Yoongi was very happy about this.

Letting out a long breath, Jimin relaxed his shoulders, and he couldn’t help but smile at the guy he had almost confessed to, even if it wasn’t as bright as usual. But it was genuine.

“You should be. I’m happy for you, hyung.”

He really was. Even when sadness was pricking at the corners of his eyes and disappointment had killed the butterflies in his stomach.

“Thanks, Jiminie,” Yoongi told him sincerely before chuckling softly and messing his hair. “You look like someone just kicked your puppy.”

Jimin cursed himself for blushing so easily, but it was humiliating how easy it was to read his face all the time, especially when he didn't want to give anything away.

In his embarrassment, he swatted his hyung’s hand away with a grumble. “That’s not true. I’m okay. It just caught me off guard, that’s it.”

“Well, then stop pouting,” Yoongi told him, poking his cheek and laughing at Jimin’s glare, “and text me often, okay? It’s just gonna be a semester, but I’ll be waiting for your messages and your annoying emoticons.”

Jimin’s breath caught in his throat.

Yoongi still wanted to keep in contact even if he was going away. This didn’t mean the end of everything. He still could talk to Yoongi even if it wasn’t face to face. It wouldn’t be the same, but it was something, and it was enough for hope to bloom in Jimin’s chest.

Still feeling shy, the younger boy decided that he was feeling too timid to do anything else but keep up his grumpy act. “Nobody says emoticons anymore, you old man. And they’re not annoying, they’re cute.”

“Oh, right,” Yoongi agreed. “It’s you the one who’s annoying,” he finished with an impish grin.

Jimin huffed in fake annoyance and the bickering ensued. It went on for a few minutes in which Jimin kept on trying to pinch his hyung's arm. It wasn’t until Yoongi’s laughter died down that he spoke again.

“What did yours say?” He asked him, still smiling and nodding in the direction of Jimin’s fortune.

Jimin just shrugged and shoved the crumpled paper in his pocket. “Something stupid too.”

And just like that, it came to his mind what he had known deep down since the urge to confess had appeared.

It wasn’t the right moment.

***

Hope is fragile, life is shitty, and Jimin should have known better.

He had underestimated how hard it would be to stay in touch with Yoongi and how different it was going to be. His hyung’s words from that night and how well they had gotten along had blinded him momentarily, and Jimin had had already a few months to realise how stupid he had been.

Long-distance relationships were hard on couples, but it was even worse in Jimin’s case because they weren’t even dating. They were just friends, or at least, he hoped they still were. If they had been a couple, Jimin would have the perfect excuse to talk to him every day even if it was just to say what he had done that day or that he missed him. But they weren’t, and he couldn’t do that without making it weird.

After the festival, they hadn't gotten a chance to see each other again, but at least they had been texting a few times. Mostly it was Jimin sending silly things or asking how the packing was going. Those two weeks made Jimin think that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, but the moment Yoongi took that plane everything changed.

Sometimes his hyung took hours to respond, and the younger understood. Now, there was a time difference that had been non-existent before. Yoongi was in a new country that he had never been to before. He had to adapt to a new routine, new people and new everything. Moreover, he hadn’t gone there on a vacation. Yoongi was there to study and learn and work hard like the passionate, hard-working person he was.

It wasn’t that Jimin felt greedy or annoyed by that. He completely understood why things were that way. However, little by little, more time passed between texts and replies. Yoongi’s messages often started with 'sorry', and it all just kept on feeding Jimin’s self-consciousness. The last thing he wanted was to be a burden or to seem clingy… which led to one of his most prominent worries lately.

Jimin was very, very scared of his crush showing and Yoongi realising he liked him.

Especially when he remembered Seokjin’s and Hoseok’s stares and smirks from that night as if they knew more than they let on.

He was no longer on his high of the night of the festival, and he was thankful for it. The events of that magical night had kind of muddled his thoughts, and his rationale had said goodbye. It would’ve been so stupid to confess when he didn’t know anything about Yoongi’s feelings. Their friendship would have probably gone to shit, and they wouldn’t be in contact at all.

Closing his book, Jimin rubbed his face as he rested his elbows on the desk. Not that those few texts they still exchanged from time to time were giving him any less of a headache. Jimin just couldn’t stop analysing every single message and the way he worded them or even the emojis he used. He was going a little crazy, and Yoongi wasn’t showing any signs of interest in the younger in the way his hyung used to sometimes. It was making Jimin feel extra down.

Being alone in his feelings was very lonely, and he was starting to feel very pathetic.

Jimin was so, so tired.

Tired of being hung up on someone he couldn’t see or touch and lately, not even talk to properly. He wanted to hold on to his feelings for the other because they made him feel warm and good. But those nice feelings were slowly turning into a cold and sharp sensation that made something uncomfortable twist in his stomach.

His cheerful and positive self was nowhere to be seen lately. Taehyung was giving him space, but he noticed the worried glances. And if continuing to be hung up on Yoongi would make him feel so miserable, maybe he should just give up. Jimin was more important than a guy on the other side of the planet.

beep

Eyeing his phone, Jimin saw the name of his hyung in the illuminated screen. Letting out a heavy sigh, he covered his eyes again with his hands, his shoulders sagging before he took the device.

yoongi: hoseok told me you guys celebrated your birthday last weekend

yoongi: sorry about it but happy belated birthday, jimin

yoongi: hope everything’s going well

Oh, that.

Jimin let out a bitter laugh as he pushed his bangs back. It seemed like if it wasn’t for Hoseok, Yoongi wouldn’t have even remembered his birthday. Yet, he couldn’t blame him because it’s not like they were dating. They were just friends, and they hadn’t been friends for that long before he went away, so it was normal for them not to know each other’s birthdays.

Except that Jimin did know his hyung’s birthday.

What was Jimin doing, really? Waiting on his hyung to come back, and then what? His return wouldn’t guarantee that something would happen between them.

Usually, the younger would take this chance to ask Yoongi about how everything was going. Jimin would try to keep the conversation going for as long as he could until he got self-conscious and decided that he was starting to get too annoying. But the boy was so tired.

Jimin had had many expectations about college. He thought that he would finally get a boyfriend and that he was prepared for that. Then, Yoongi had shown up in his life and deep down he had been sure he would be the one. There were so many signs out there pointing to it like sharing the same subject even though they were two years apart, or their parents knowing each other and being friends. So many coincidences that made his heart and his expectations soar. But, in the end, that's all they were: expectations.

Jimin had fallen too fast and hard, so it wasn’t a surprise that he had ended up crashing.

It was hard to come to terms with all of that, but it was true. Life and love are unpredictable, and you can't force your unrealistic ideas on another person even when it's unconsciously.

Jimin was so frustrated with himself; he felt pathetic. The boy just wanted to stop hurting and, for that, he needed to move on. To put a little extra distance between them.

jimin: thanks hyung

jimin: you too :)

Nothing better than time to move on and heal the wounds of the heart.

Chapter Text

"I can't believe you bought that disgusting thing again. I swear it messes with the good vibes of this house," Taehyung was grumbling while still taking the box of oatmeal and storing it in the cabinet.

Jimin could only chuckle at his friend’s antics. "How can a box of cereal mess with your good vibrations?"

"Oh, please. Don't call those tasteless, wood shavings cereal. That's so disrespectful."

"Really? Disrespectful? To cereal?"

“To me! It's an abomination! An attack against my tastebuds, and I won't stand for it."

"Just leave my oatmeal alone, thank you very much," Jimin retorted in resignation because this conversation took place every single time he bought a new box. "I promise it won't try to nourish you if you don't look at it."

"It better."

After that, a comfortable silence settled between the roommates as they continued organising their shopping bags. However, Jimin was sure Taehyung had something in mind by how he was stealing glances in his direction.

"You know he's back, right?" Taehyung asked carefully, voice soft before he bit his lip, anticipating his reaction.

But Jimin didn't waver as he continued putting things away. "Yes, you told me about it."

"Yeah, like a month ago," Taehyung specified. Jimin knew by his tone that he was trying to be casual about it, but he wasn't fooling him. "Aren't you like… going to meet him?"

Jimin blinked at him. "Why would I?"

"Why?" Taehyung sputtered in disbelief. "Maybe because you had like the biggest crush on him?"

Sighing, Jimin continued putting their groceries in a cabinet. "We haven't talked in months. I got over it."

"Okay?" Taehyung agreed, frowning and clearly dubious. "But don't you wanna see him? You became good friends last year. I thought that maybe—"

"Taehyung-ah," Jimin cut him off, not unkindly. "Leave it be. I have other things to worry about right now. You know that."

Sagging a little, Tae's face fell as he nodded." Yeah, you're right.”

“Have they called while I was out?” Jimin asked, looking at his phone still charging.

“Not yet.”

Luckily, the conversation was dropped just like that, and Jimin didn’t have to think about what to say because he didn’t know how he was feeling about Yoongi’s return. He hadn’t had the time to give it some serious thought, and when he had time, Jimin forced those confusing feelings away.

They had only exchanged a few texts a couple more times after Yoongi wished him a happy birthday. Nothing much, just asking how they were doing, and then nothing. That’s one of the reasons why it had been a little easier to stop texting the other guy.

Life had been busy. College was hard, and Jimin had friends and other important matters to attend to. Yet, he found himself looking at his phone longingly a few times, debating over whether to send a ‘hello’ or not. After resisting the urge a couple of times, it had gotten easier to ignore the itch to do so.

"Aren't you like… going to meet him?"

Taehyung’s question had almost made him snort. Yoongi hadn’t even told him that he was coming back, not even after he had already arrived. He must have known that Jimin was aware of his return due to Hoseok but still, nothing.

That knowledge was convincing him even more that he didn’t want to see Yoongi. Yes, maybe Jimin had had a crush on him, and the distance had been harder to bear for him because of it. And Yoongi wasn’t to blame for that. But they were friends. They had gotten along so well, and Jimin was just sad about how, what he thought had been a beautiful friendship, had turned out to be nothing for the other guy.

That’s why, whenever the topic was brought up, Jimin had an internal battle, his sadness and frustration fighting each other until his petty ass won, and he just huffed and moved onto other matters.

He wasn’t going to take the first step.

But their campus wasn’t exactly huge, which meant that Jimin should have been more mentally prepared for the high possibility of bumping into Yoongi at their faculty. Because that’s exactly what ended up happening.

Literally.

“Ouch,” Jimin groaned, grabbing his shoulder that had bumped abruptly against another person while he was busy looking at his phone. “Sorry, wasn’t looking—”

The boy was cut short by the sight of his hyung in front of him once again after so long.

“Hey,” Yoongi said, grabbing one of the straps of his backpack.

“Hi,” Jimin managed to return the greeting, his voice sounding a little squeaky at the panic that was gripping at his heart from the sudden encounter.

He wasn’t ready for this; not at all. And his fast-beating heart was just a confirmation of that fact.

“You’re back,” Jimin pointed out very eloquently in his haste to get rid of the suffocating silence between them.

Yoongi was just standing there, staring at him with unreadable eyes, and it was making Jimin squirm where he stood.

“I’m back,” he confirmed, sounding just as lame as Jimin had.

After licking his bottom lip, Jimin forced a smile. “Well, was everything okay over there?”

“Yeah, it was productive and… enlightening.”

Jimin nodded absentmindedly, not really processing the other’s words due to his nerves. “That’s good. Mhm, I’ve got a class now, so I better get going,” he informed him, making a herculean effort to make eye contact.

“Wait,” Yoongi stopped him as the boy was already taking a step back. Looking up at him, Jimin wanted to scream. “Would you like to get a coffee or something? After your class, I mean,” he quickly clarified, his blank expression finally disappearing as he looked just as nervous as Jimin did. “It’s just been a while,” he muttered softly, looking almost timid.

Wow, Jimin’s heart was about to jump out of his chest if he didn’t get away from him soon. Yoongi looked so unsure as he waited for an answer, and suddenly, Jimin was forgetting about the silence and the distance, and he just wanted to hug his hyung so badly. But no, that’s not what he was going to do. He couldn’t think like that. He was over this.

Who was he kidding, though?

But Jimin couldn’t do this right now. He was confused, and he needed space to think because Yoongi’s presence was clouding his thoughts. The boy was going to regret this, either way, so he might as well get away and deal with his rushing thoughts and urges in the least embarrassing way he could. Alone.

“Ah, that. Well, I’ve got a full day of classes today, so I can’. But I’d like to!” He was quick to clarify with an awkward laugh, feeling bad about lying. “Just…” Taking a deep sigh, he tried to gather himself and all his feelings. “Maybe another time,” Jimin ended up conceding softly.

Yoongi looked at him for a moment before finally nodding. “Maybe another time.”

But there wasn’t another time.

No new sporadic encounters took place, and neither one of them called the other about that coffee. It was like Yoongi hadn’t returned at all, and that hadn’t been too hard to accept, but it had definitely stung.

That had been such a short and awkward interaction, but it managed to stir a flood of emotions that Jimin had been trying very hard to suppress. His feelings for the other might have been lying dormant in his heart, but they had quickly awoken the moment he had stood before his hyung again.

If you asked him what part of their short exchange had made him realise so, he wouldn’t be able to pinpoint what it was exactly. There was just this invisible pull when he looked at Yoongi in the eyes that he couldn’t quite describe. It just made him want to bury his face in the other’s neck, hold him close and never let go.

But of course, he couldn’t do so.

Thus, life just went on with Taehyung occasionally asking about it but not meddling with his decision. Jimin sometimes saw Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok on their campus, and he would often stop to greet them and make small talk. He used to hang out with them often, but since Yoongi’s return, he hadn’t had the guts to accept their invitations in case he was there too.

Running away from Yoongi wasn’t really what he wanted to do, but he feared getting caught up in his one-sided love again and getting hurt once more.

And of course, he had caught quick glimpses of Yoongi around their faculty from time to time. It was inevitable, but Jimin always acted obliviously or just sent him a smile before rushing in the other direction. At one point, Jimin realised Yoongi must have caught on to his reluctance to approach him.

The boy confirmed this suspicion one morning as he was making his way to one of his classes with Jungkook by his side. Jimin was laughing and talking to his dongsaeng to try to wake him up as Jungkook dragged his feet to an early class when they came face to face with Yoongi.

Jungkook’s eyes were too closed to notice it, but Jimin did, and so did Yoongi.

Yet, neither one of them said anything. They just passed by each other, staring into the other's eyes, being aware of the other’s presence, making it obvious they noticed, and that was it. No attempt at greeting each other, no smiles, nothing. They just continued with their day as if they were strangers.

There was the familiar sensation of Jimin’s throat closing up, tears forming in his eyes. The boy was so disappointed, and he hated how everything had turned out with Yoongi; hated that they had reached this point. But, forcing himself to swallow past the knot in his throat, Jimin shook his head and bit his lip hard.

There was no point. He could’ve changed this outcome by accepting Yoongi’s offer, by taking the first step again, but he was so tired of doing so. He missed his friendship with him, but Jimin had come to a point of no return. His feelings were too heavy in his chest, and there was no way he could be friends with the other once again without getting hurt in the process.

Because Jimin liked him too much already.

Jimin’s developing feelings had fucked up everything. So, in the end, it had been his fault.

The boy felt like shit, and exhaustion was making him question all his life choices. Yet, life kept slapping him in the face, not only regarding his non-existent love life.

He had been trying to prepare himself for it. His parents had warned him for months that they would get the notice any day now. Dread pierced his heart every time his phone rang, and he was just praying for a miracle so it wouldn’t come to that. He didn’t want to deal with it, Jimin already had so many things that made him anxious lately. That would just be the last straw.

However, life can be ruthless, and it doesn’t wait for anyone or anything.

“Was it them?” Taehyung asked, worry evident in his eyes as he watched his friend hung up.

Jimin turned to face him, eyes vacant as if it still hadn’t dawned on him what his parents had finally told him. The day had come, and it felt like a part of him was dying.

After a few seconds, Jimin nodded before his breath caught in his throat and a sudden sob made his body tremble. Taehyung didn’t hesitate in wrapping his friend in a hug, his big frame engulfing Jimin’s smaller one. Even though Jimin was unable to articulate any words at the moment due to the tears and hiccups, he felt extremely grateful for his friend’s presence; the only thing keeping him in one piece at the moment. There was nothing he could’ve done to prepare himself for how his heart was breaking in half.

“Now... she’s—she’s completely gone, Tae,” Jimin managed to mumble between sobs, his shoulders shaking, and his face buried in Tae’s chest. “I have nothing left of her.”

“Don’t say that,” Taehyung told him softly, soothingly rubbing his back to try to calm him down. “That’s not true, Jiminie.”

“It feels like it,” Jimin confessed, his voice breaking and closing his eyes hard to stop the tears, but it only served to shed more of them.

“I know, I know,” Taehyung said, resting his cheek atop Jimin’s head as he swayed the boy gently.

It was hard, but little by little his crying slowed down until he was left with red eyes and a headache. He once again gave thanks for having Tae with him when his parents called. Putting a little distance between them, Jimin looked up at his friend.

“I’m gonna go back,” the boy announced, his voice sounding rough.

“Jimin…” Taehyung shook his head, empathy swirling in his eyes at his friend’s state but hesitating at his plan. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I want to be there. I need to be there,” Jimin justified himself with a hint of desperation in his voice. “She—I want to say goodbye.”

Taehyung felt a knot forming in his throat at Jimin sounding so broken, but he took a deep breath and tried to regain his composure. It wasn’t the time for that; it wasn’t him who needed consolation. He needed to be strong for his best friend.

“Then, I’ll go with you,” he declared firmly.

Putting his hands on Tae’s chest, Jimin shook his head. “No, I’ll go alone.”

“Jimin, you shouldn’t do this alone. I know how important this is for you, and it’s gonna hurt,” Taehyung explained with all the patience in the world and trying to save his friend from an even bigger heartbreak. “I think it would be better if I went with you as moral support.”

Staring into his friend’s eyes for a moment, a weak smile curled Jimin’s lips. “Thank you, TaeTae,” he told him sincerely. “But I want to do this by myself,” Jimin admitted, drying his cheeks with the hem of his sleeve. “I feel like I need to.”

“God, you’re so stubborn,” Taehyung grumbled. Rubbing his forehead, he let out a long sigh that made his shoulders sag before pressing Jimin against his chest once again. Taehyung left a kiss on his friend’s hair before murmuring against it. “If something happens, call me. I’ll take a train, and I’ll be there in a few hours. And either way, text me to see how you’re doing, okay?”

Jimin nodded, his face buried in Tae’s shirt as he gripped the garment. “Okay.”

***

He had spent the whole ride trying to prepare himself mentally as much as possible, but it hadn’t been enough. It was only when it was announced that there were just five minutes left until he had to get off the train that Jimin decided to take a look at his phone. He had it on silent mode, so he was surprised to find a few missed calls and texts.

The calls had been from both his mother and father. He didn’t want to talk to them right now, so he just sent them both texts telling them that he was okay and omitting where he was headed to. There were a couple of texts from Taehyung as well that he answered quickly to reassure his friend that he was still in one piece. And then, he saw the other text.

yoongi: can we talk?

It couldn’t have been worse timing. Jimin couldn’t do this right now. He had too many things on his mind, and the last thing he needed was to dwell on his ruined relationship with Yoongi. His heart hurt enough already without adding him into the equation.

An incoming call made him jump on his seat, and his eyes widened when he saw Yoongi’s name on the screen.

Why was he calling him? Jimin panicked and switched off his phone without realising what he was doing until it was done. The black screen showed his reflection, and he could see his wild eyes and parted lips. With his heart still racing, he shoved the device into his pocket and willed himself to forget about him. There were more pressing matters that needed his attention right now.

It had been a week already since the demolition started, and his parents had informed him that today would be the last day. By the time he arrived at his grandma’s, the house no longer had a roof, and there was an excavator inside, only its arm was visible from the outside.

He had known that it would be hard to watch the last thing that had belonged to his grandma disappear. After his grandma had passed away that summer, he had spent the rest of his vacation visiting the place, taking care of all her precious plants and the stray calico cat that used to come to visit every afternoon. It had been very strange being in a place that screamed ‘her’ when she was no longer there.

Jimin was holding back tears, staring at the brown door and its two windows on each side, and he wondered why the passage of time had to hurt this much.

Suddenly, he could hear voices approaching, and before he knew it, he was hiding in a nearby alley. It wasn’t until he peered at them that Jimin realised it was his family. Both his parents and his younger brother had come too to see the last of the demolition. However, Jimin didn’t join them. He wanted to be alone right now, didn’t want to deal with their questions about his well-being or encouraging smiles.

Jimin wanted to grieve and feel sad and heartbroken without anyone telling him to cheer up.

The movement of the excavator’s arm caught his attention once again and, leaning on the concrete wall of the abandoned house where he was hiding, Jimin heard how the left wall was torn down. It felt like a punch to his gut, and the tears came back overflowing.

Wall after wall the house was demolished in a matter of minutes, and by the time the arm stood over the last wall, the entrance, Jimin was a sobbing mess. Yet, he forced himself to look and not miss anything.

Just like that the brown door disappeared, and the windows got destroyed so easily that it scared Jimin. Just like that, the house where he had played as a child, where he had grown up, the small patio that was full of pots and plants and flowers that he took care of with her, all his precious memories; everything was gone.

His family didn’t catch him, and they went back home, his dad with his arms over his mother and brother’s shoulders. And Jimin just stood there, god knows for how long, feeling like a part of himself had died right there. Like he was saying goodbye not only to his grandmother, her house and his beautiful memories but also to his childhood. Everything was changing little by little: his life and the people around him.

Jimin was learning that life was a lot about changes, and he didn’t like it.

Everyone seemed to be moving on without any problems, but he wasn’t. He felt like he was stuck and, deep down, he knew it was because he wasn’t prepared to change, to grow up. He didn’t want to say goodbye to the happiest years of his life.

But life was telling him that it was time.

Jimin hated changes.

***

The train back to Seoul was also almost three hours long that Jimin spent sleeping. He was exhausted after all the crying, and he was grateful for being able to shut off the world for a few hours. By the time he arrived at the capital, it was nighttime, and it was raining heavily.

The finishing touch to an amazing day , Jimin thought sarcastically before letting out a heavy sigh and grabbing his jacket as he got up from his seat.

His body felt cramped from the weird position in which he had been sleeping for so long in those narrow seats. He let the passengers get off before him, not wanting to deal with the rain yet, but it didn’t seem like it was going to stop any time soon. Putting his jacket over his head, he finally got off and ran towards the roofed part of the station.

“Jimin!”

Stopping abruptly in his tracks, Jimin stood under the rain in shock at the owner of that voice.

Yoongi was standing in front of one of the benches under the roofed area, an umbrella hanging from his wrist as he stared at him.

What?

“What are you doing here?” Jimin finally managed to say after a few seconds.

Yoongi waved him over with his free hand. “Come here, you’re gonna get drenched.”

Willing his feet to walk to him, Jimin did as told, his head full of questions that he didn’t have the answers to. “What are you doing here?” He repeated the question that his hyung had ignored before because what the heck?

Yoongi hesitated, seemingly not knowing what to say either to justify himself. “It was late and raining, and you weren't answering your phone, and I just… I was worried,” he admitted, his eyes flickering to his umbrella to avoid making eye contact.

Oh, his phone. He had completely forgotten about that. “Why? How did you know I was here?” Jimin inquired, still feeling completely lost by his unexpected presence.

Yoongi's lips were pressed into a thin line, and he was fidgeting on the spot. "Can we sit for a moment?" He asked instead, and at Jimin's hesitation, he continued. "It's pouring, so we should wait it out a bit. Please."

When Yoongi finally made eye contact with him, Jimin tried hard not to squirm under his intense gaze. Unable to refuse, the younger nodded, and both of them took a seat on the metal bench. The surface was cold, and Jimin would have appreciated the warmth of his jacket, but it was drenched, so it would just make it worse.

"Well?" Jimin prompted not unkindly as he bit his lip, nervous about where this conversation would be going.

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi's hands gripped the umbrella's handle. "I had lunch with my dad today," he started, making Jimin frown because that's not what he was expecting to hear at all. "We were talking about school and his job, and he mentioned something about a demolition and how one of his friends and coworkers was sad about it because it was his mother's house,” he continued softly.

“He also told him about how worried he was about one of his kids who hadn't taken the news very well…" Yooongi continued explaining, side-eyeing Jimin and noticing how his eyes glinted with recognition before he averted his gaze. Yoongi sighed, his shoulders sagging. "At that, I just had a hunch, and you know how our fathers are friends and all that. So, I asked who that friend was, and he told me about your dad and… about your grandma passing away over the summer…" he said slowly, careful to not hurt the younger with his words and waiting to see how he would react.

Jimin was looking ahead towards the train tracks, face blank. He would have appeared indifferent if it wasn't for how careful he was trying to maintain that façade.

Biting his lip and looking guilty, Yoongi decided to continue because Jimin didn't seem like he was gonna break the silence any time soon. "I was worried, so I called you, but you didn't answer. And then you turned off your phone, and I got even more worried. That's why I talked to Taehyung, and he told me where you were." Jimin could tell Yoongi was searching for his gaze, but he couldn't return it at the moment. Hearing Yoongi sigh, Jimin prepared himself for whatever was coming next. “I’m very sorry, Jimin. I didn’t know about any of it.”

Finally dropping his mask of indifference, Jimin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You don't have to apologize. It's not your fault, and there's nothing you could've done about it.” Wringing his hands nervously, Jimin added: “That's just life."

"Maybe," Yoongi conceded carefully, still wary of how the other was taking everything in. "But we can still try to make things better."

Jimin wanted to snort, but he had never been a very cynical person, so instead, he just asked him the question that was on his mind. He tried not to sound bitter, but there was so much he could do considering how much time he had been hurting over Yoongi. “Would you have done something differently if you had known?”

“Yes, I would have," Yoongi replied without hesitation. "At the very least, I would’ve called you or asked how you were holding up.”

Glancing in his hyung's direction, Jimin was trying to bite his tongue, not wanting to sound spiteful. But he had been in pain for so long over so many things that he couldn't help himself. Even when it meant taking it out on Yoongi.

"You could've done so even if you didn't know about that. Even if nothing bad had happened. You could've been there like the friend I thought you were."

Jimin immediately pressed his lips together after the words were out in the open, frowning and regretting his outburst. He felt guilty because he knew it wasn't entirely Yoongi's fault. Yes, he hadn’t been very easy to reach while he was abroad, but Jimin had also been putting up a wall between them because of his self-consciousness.

Having been caught off guard by the sudden—although not unexpected—boy's accusations, Yoongi took his time to think about his next words. The wait made Jimin anxious, but he found himself unable to retract his words.

"I'm sorry I neglected you—" At the way Jimin snapped his head to him upon hearing those words, glaring at him, and Yoongi closed his mouth immediately. Clearly, he had chosen the wrong words to start.

"Don't say it like that," Jimin told him in an accusatory tone, frowning. "You make it sound like we were—" It was Jimin's turn to cut himself off before he shook his head, not wanting to finish that sentence. "Just don't… We're friends, it's not like you owed me anything. We weren't that close."

After a short silence, Yoongi's gaze seemed to shine with understanding, and Jimin wanted to crawl into a hole.

Please, don't do this to me. I'm embarrassed enough as it is , he thought to himself, starting to get worked up and wringing his hands nervously once again.

"Well, being as it may," Yoongi continued softly, his voice clear of any bad intentions, "I'm sorry I made you feel bad. People aren't my expertise if I'm honest with you. But also…" he let the words hang in the open as he sent the younger a look that told him Yoongi was being careful as to not piss off Jimin. "I mean, it's true I was busy and kind of isolated myself without realising it, but… Sometimes it also felt like you didn't really want to talk to me." Yoongi's wary confession made Jimin tense. "Maybe I was wrong, and I shouldn't have assumed things," he amended quickly at the younger’s reaction, "but when we finally saw each other again and you avoided me like that I just… I don't know. I thought that maybe I hadn't been wrong in my assumptions."

At that, Jimin couldn't help but squeeze his eyes shut, grimacing as he took in Yoongi's perspective. It was just like he had thought, Yoongi had noticed the wall Jimin had built. God, why did things have to be this hard? What was he supposed to say now?

Hey, I was stupid and lovesick, and I didn't know how to act because I missed you a lot, but I couldn't say anything about it because it would've ruined everything. But hey, look at us. I ruined our friendship, anyway!

There was no way Jimin could admit that without wanting to perish right after. That's why he decided to do the one thing he had been doing and that had somewhat good results: avoid it.

After a short pause, Jimin took a deep breath with his head buried in his hands before he looked ahead again. “It doesn’t really matter now.”

“Jimin," Yoongi protested, frowning and seeing right through his act.

“I’m not holding anything against you. I’m just saying. Shit happens, and we can’t change the past, so we should just… try to move on.”

“And you ignoring me is moving on?” Yoongi accused before scoffing and shaking his head, incredulous.

“You did so too,” Jimin murmured because he wasn’t going to take all the blame for that.

Pressing his lips together, Yoongi shifted in his seat to face the younger properly. “Jimin, let’s just talk about this already. We can’t keep acting like we don’t know each other. I don’t want to," he confessed, waiting for the other’s answer. But Jimin just kept on avoiding his eyes, silently looking ahead with his arms crossed, and Yoongi was getting so frustrated. Burying his face in his hands, Yoongi sighed in exasperation before mumbling: “God, you’re being so immature right now.”

Flinching like he had been burned, Jimin finally turned to him with fire in his eyes.

“That’s because I am,” Jimin finally spoke up, making Yoongi lift his head to look warily at his stern tone. “I’m immature. If there’s something that all of this has taught me is that I still have a lot of growing up to do," he admitted, like the words hurt because they actually did. "I’m the only one in my family getting worked up over a stupid empty house being destroyed. I’m the only one crying my eyes out because I can’t cope with death being part of life, or growing up and changing and becoming an adult whose soul is crushed by society,” Jimin huffed a laugh before continuing. “God, I can’t even get over a stupid crush and act like you not liking me is the end of the wor—”

Wincing at that last confession, Jimin took a peek at Yoongi, who was staring at him with slightly wide eyes but still too calmly for the younger's liking. Jimin let himself flop back against the bench, feeling defeated and not quite believing himself.

I'm such a dumbass.

"You are not a dumbass," Yoongi retorted softly with endeared eyes and a small lopsided smile.

When was Jimin gonna stop doing that ?

"Come here," Yoongi told him, scooting closer to him and putting his arm around the back of the bench.

"No…" Jimin whimpered, biting his cheek in embarrassment and refusing to look at his hyung.

Snorting, Yoongi grabbed his shoulder and pulled the boy closer. "Stop being so stubborn."

Blinking in astonishment, Jimin tried very hard not to move a muscle as his body was pressed to the other guy's side. "It’s okay, I swear. Everything’s cool, just… stop running away, okay?”

“Why are you so cool about this?” Jimin inquired, frustrated with himself, frustrated with Yoongi and frustrated with his life.

He felt more than saw Yoongi shifting a little in his seat as he thought about how to reply. “I mean, I don’t want to embarrass you anymore… but I kind of already knew...”

Snapping his head to Yoongi, Jimin blanched at the confirmation of his worst fear. “You knew?” He repeated, his voice higher in pitch than usual.

Yoongi nodded apologetically. “You are… very honest.”

That was Yoongi polite way of saying he was too obvious.

“Oh my god,” Jimin groaned, hiding his face in his hands in mortification. The arm around his shoulders burned him. “Since when?”

“I had my suspicions after the night of the festival,” Yoongi admitted carefully, not wanting to upset him even more. “Thinking about it while I was in America and after our reunion... I just kind of put the pieces together.”

“I hate you,” Jimin mumbled, voice muffled by his hands, still avoiding the other and saying the only thing that could serve as a defence at the moment.

“No, you don’t,” Yoongi snorted before bending forwards slightly with a groan at the impact of Jimin’s elbow to his stomach. “Ouch, okay, okay. I deserved that.”

“You did,” Jimin grumbled.

Straightening up again, Yoongi glanced at Jimin before looking ahead. “But I don’t hate you either, so it’s okay.”

Jimin hesitated at that, his breath catching in his throat but not quite grasping what Yoongi could’ve meant by that. Or not letting himself believe it. "What… do you mean?"

"What do you think?" Yoongi asked in return instead with mirth dancing in his eyes before he sighed.

Jimin felt Yoongi’s hand squeezing his shoulder, and his heart started beating like crazy.

“This is so embarrassing,” Jimin muttered in mortification.

“It’s okay," Yoongi retorted. "We can be embarrassed together.”

Jimin smacked Yoongi on the chest, not hurting the other this time. Jimin left his hand there, though, resting it on his hyung’s chest, and unconsciously getting cosier next to him. “You’re the worst."

Yoongi just chuckled at that before sighing, also feeling a bit embarrassed. "I take back what I said earlier. We're both dumbasses."

However, it wasn't enough for Jimin. He had been harbouring feelings for the other for so long, fighting against what he was feeling, and now, as simple as that, Yoongi implied that his feelings were reciprocated? Jimin's insecurities wouldn't let him live until he was given a less vague answer.

"Hyung, what did you mean?" The boy asked again, trying to remain calm and rational, but his fidgeting and eagerness were quite evident.

"You know what I meant," Yoongi muttered looking away from Jimin, most likely trying to hide his also rosy cheeks.

Jimin nudged him to prompt a proper answer.

Glaring with no heat in his direction, Yoongi pressed his lips together. "Are you really gonna make me say it with all the words?"

“You knew about my feelings, and that’s so embarrassing and so not fair,” Jimin argued.

“Jimin.”

"Please."

Yoongi sighed in resignation, but he was mostly exaggerating, and Jimin could tell. "Do you think you're the only one embarrassed here? This isn't easy for me either."

"Sorry," Jimin apologised quickly, but he didn't sound or look apologetic at all, just eager to hear the words.

Yoongi could only snort at that. "Yeah, I'm sure you are," he said sarcastically, giving Jimin the stink eye before his features softened. "I like you, too. There, I said it. You happy?" Yoongi inquired, feigning defiance, at which Jimin grinned in disbelief.

"Very happy," he responded, gripping Yoongi's jacket in his left hand.

Smirking, Yoongi put their faces closer before muttering softly. "You're such a brat."

Jimin giggled at that, nodding a few times with their faces still too close. There was still a small curl to Jimin’s lips as they gazed into each other's eyes. When the younger caught the way Yoongi's eyes drifted down to his lips, Jimin couldn't help but nip at them unconsciously, knowing what would come next and wanting it with all his heart.

When they made eye contact once again, both of them closed their eyes as well as the distance that separated them, their lips aligning before they pressed them together. It was a slow and gentle kiss, both of their lips caressing softly, getting to know each other.

It was Yoongi the first to retreat, not before he pressed another soft and quick peck to the younger’s lips. Putting a little bit of distance between their faces, Yoongi regarded Jimin as he remained with his eyes closed for a bit more as he licked his lips. Once Jimin finally looked at his hyung, he found flushed cheeks and a cheeky smile that made his pounding heart skip a beat.

"That was… nice." Jimin was the first to cut the silence.

Smirking, Yoongi agreed. "It was very nice."

But even though Jimin felt like he was on cloud nine, there was an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach that was dampening the moment for him. Averting his gaze from the other to clear his head, Jimin tried to understand what was wrong. This is what he had wanted for so long, so why wasn't he just basking in the moment?

His body and mind were trying to send him a message, and he kind of knew what it was about. Why did things have to be so complicated? Or was he the one making everything extra difficult? Jimin didn't know the answer to those questions, but he knew that he had to be honest with himself like he had always been.

"Jimin?" Yoongi called him to get him out of his daze, or existential crisis, whatever you wanted to call it.

Jimin didn't want to do this. He was mad at himself for this, but it was what he had to do. It was the right thing to do.

“Hyung, I really, really like you,” Jimin suddenly confessed with such vehemence that it made Yoongi’s eyes widened, taken aback by his honesty. “But I just… I don’t think I’m ready to be in a relationship yet,” he continued, gripping Yoongi’s jacket tighter and biting his lip.

Jimin was so mad at himself for not being prepared yet again. But this wasn’t just about him and what he wanted. The boy thought that being in a relationship with someone meant caring and taking into account the other person’s well-being. And right now, he felt way too lost in life to be able to take care and pay enough attention to someone else in the way they deserved; in the way Yoongi deserved.

"Well, I wasn't thinking so far ahead when we just kissed," Yoongi admitted, still a bit in shock and making Jimin feel like a fool because of course. That's not how relationships worked. However, Yoongi noticed how the younger was shrinking a little into himself, feeling ridiculous, and he tried to downplay it. "But it's reasonable, we’re friends. Just… don't worry about it, okay? I just… I kinda imagined you’d say something like that,” Yoongi told him with a rueful smile and made Jimin look at him in surprise. “You know, you’re not the only person that’s had those kinds of thoughts. I feel like we all go through that phase one way or another, sooner or later.”

“Even you?” Jimin asked timidly, still feeling awkward and sad about the whole situation.

Yoongi nodded, bringing the younger closer to his side. “I did a couple of years ago too. Everyone does. You just need time to get to know yourself better and what you want to do.”

"You make it sound easy," Jimin said, pouting unconsciously.

"It ain't, but everyone's different. What are you feeling?"

“I feel like I’m gonna lose myself,” Jimin answered after a few seconds, still pressed to Yoongi's side, seeking his warmth as the rain continued falling. "Like everything is changing and I'm gonna have to change too, and there's gonna come a time when I'm not gonna be able to recognize myself."

Yoongi hummed in understanding as he caressed Jimin's wrist with his thumb. "What prompted all these thoughts?"

"It's been brewing for a while," Jimin admitted as he observed Yoongi's motions on his skin. "I guess it was several things. The stress of college, losing my grandma… you…" Jimin finished, glancing at the other hesitantly.

"Should I apologise?" Yoongi asked sarcastically with a soft laugh to try and alleviate the heavy conversation.

"Don’t you dare," Jimin retorted with a huff and a small smile that lacked its usual spark.

"Whatever you want," Yoongi conceded, looking a bit worried for the other, all traces of humour gone again. "It's hard losing people that have been around you all your life."

"It is," Jimin agreed, nodding his head and, therefore, rubbing his cheek against Yoongi’s shoulder. "It makes you question why we're here. And it doesn't really hit you until some time passes. I spent summer at her home," he confessed, peeking at Yoongi to see if he was interested in what he was saying or if he was oversharing.

Yet, Yoongi encouraged him to continue, bringing him closer and gazing into his eyes intently. Jimin had to avert his eyes to be able to continue, though.

"Going to my grandma’s place after she passed away was so strange no matter how many times I went. Seeing all the newspapers, magazines and calendars from June… It’s weird, sad and surreal. It’s like time stopped in that house the moment she left,” Jimin rambled as he thought of how he spent his summer. Taking a short moment to collect himself, he met Yoongi’s eyes. “I haven’t talked about this with anyone.”

“I’m glad you’re letting me in, then." Yoongi's thumb travelled down Jimin's wrist until he found the other's fingers. Without needing to use any force, Yoongi coaxed the younger to lessen the grip on his jacket and started playing with his shorter fingers. "It's good to open up about these things. For some, it can be cathartic.”

The sudden itchiness in his eyes took Jimin by surprise, but it shouldn't have. There he was, in a train station, cuddling up against Yoongi after having kissed him. Jimin was talking to him again like nothing had happened, and his hyung was trying to console and understand what he was going through.

Everything that Jimin had imagined but thought that it would never happen was becoming a reality. It made him immensely happy, but a part of him was telling him that this was a bad idea. It wasn't the right moment. He wasn’t in a good state of mind for a relationship or a fling with another person. It just wouldn't work out.

“It’s okay, Jimin-ah,” Yoongi tried to console him, carding his fingers through the younger’s hair.

Jimin sniffled. “No, it’s not. I’m a mess.”

“You’re not a mess. You’re just confused and growing up.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured sadly.

Yoongi sighed. “You don’t have to be.”

“But I do!” Jimin complained, looking up at the other with tears in his eyes and frustrated at how understanding Yoongi was being, which didn’t make sense. But Jimin had had a long and hard day, so his emotions were all over the place, and who could blame him? “I like you, and you like me, but I can’t be with you because I’m a mess.”

“Stop saying that, Park Jimin,” Yoongi finally chastised him, frowning at the younger.

“But…” Feeling his bottom lip tremble, Jimin bit it before burying his face in Yoongi’s chest. “I’m sad, and I want to be with you.”

“I also want to be with you, and I’m sad too. But sometimes things just don’t go our way.” Yoongi pressed the younger closer by wrapping his arms around Jimin’s waist, his lips leaving a kiss to the top of his head. “It doesn’t mean they won’t someday, though.”

Sniffling, the younger dried his cheeks a bit before staring into Yoongi’s eyes. “You really think so?” Jimin asked, sounding way too hopeful.

Yoongi tucked a lock of Jimin’s hair behind his ear, gazing at him with such fondness that it prompted a warm and tingly sensation to settle in the younger’s stomach. “I mean, life’s a rollercoaster. You never know,” he told him with a shrug.

Although Yoongi had tried to sound nonchalant, his words sounded like a promise, and Jimin’s lip was trembling again. He tried hard to stop himself by pressing his lips together into a pout, but he ended up shedding a few tears before his face crumpled, and he lowered his head. At his clear attempt at trying to contain himself, Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh forlornly before he cupped Jimin's face in his hands so he would look at him.

“Don’t cry anymore,” Yoongi whined as he caught the new tears rolling down Jimin’s cheeks with his thumbs. He said so with a funny voice that Jimin had heard other times when his hyung complained, and Yoongi managed to make him let out a couple of wet chuckles. Happy about hearing the other’s laughter, Yoongi pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Maybe next time,” he told him, staring into his eyes with a small grin.

Jimin nodded, grabbing him by the wrists and preventing Yoongi from letting go of him just yet. “Maybe next time.”

Once the pouring rain turned into a light shower and the younger had calmed down a little, the two young men got up and started making their way back to Jimin’s dorm. They talked a lot, about things they had missed out on during the past months, and trivial stuff as they walked under the protection of Yoongi's umbrella. Just light stuff that could cheer them up on such a cold night.

At one point, Yoongi reached out for Jimin's hand, and although it made it harder to walk and the younger's shoulder ended up quite wet from not being entirely covered, Jimin wouldn't have changed anything for the world. At that moment and just for a little while, everything was perfect.

"And that's how I ended up with a bag full of almost expired deluxe sauce that I still own and it’s half full.”

"Wow, so inspiring," Jimin said with fake admiration, mocking him and laughing at his American adventures.

Yoongi gave him the stink eye, but he wasn’t able to say anything mean to the other boy even if it was in good fun. Not when the rims of Jimin’s eyes were still red. “Don’t sound so jealous, and I’ll give you a few.”

“No, thanks. That’s your precious sauce. I’m not deserving of it,” Jimin replied, not trying to fight off the grin adorning his lips.

"Don't make fun of your elders, that's so rude. Especially when they offer you free sauce packages," Yoongi chastised him, but he was unable to hide his amusement either, and Jimin just pressed his cheek against the other’s shoulder as he giggled some more.

“ Expired sauce packages,” Jimin pointed out with a cheeky smile.

“A mere trifle,” Yoongi dismissed.

By the time they reached the building, Jimin hadn't been prepared at all. No matter how much time he was given, it wouldn't have made this any less painful. Staring into Yoongi’s eyes, silence enveloped them, knowing what was coming.

"I've missed you," Jimin finally admitted, voice choked with emotion.

Staring into Jimin’s eyes, Yoongi's face fell, his bangs covering his eyebrows and the top of his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Jimin shook his head." It's not all your fault. Remember?" When Yoongi raised one of his eyebrows in question, Jimin chuckled wetly. "We're both dumbasses."

"We really are," Yoongi agreed, chuckling along, although it was a rather bitter sound.

Taking in a shaky breath, Jimin let go of Yoongi's hand slowly, like it pained him, their fingers lingering before they finally stopped touching. The younger boy was preparing himself and his heart for another farewell.

"I'm going to miss you," he choked out, fighting tears and feeling his hand getting colder by the second, missing the other’s warmth.

Yoongi was biting his lip, and at seeing Jimin's state, he couldn't help himself. Taking a step towards Jimin, he quickly engulfed the younger in a hug, letting go of the umbrella without a care in the world, gifting Jimin with one last memory that he would treasure for a very long time. Showing him how much this parting affected him too even though he had been trying to be understanding and strong.

"Me too," Yoongi whispered, his lips pressed to his temple.

It was one of the hardest things Jimin had ever done, but he knew it was right. If it was meant to be, life would put them back together once again, and if it wasn't… Well, Yoongi would always remain one of his fondest memories.

His first love.

Chapter Text

Going back to his life after that had been like a personal hell designed just for Jimin.

He was sure he had made the right choice, he could feel it in the lack of dark clouds looming over his head. He had peace of mind. However, his heart was having a harder time accepting his decision.

Knowing that Yoongi returned his feelings had only made things ten times harder for him. It was tough not dwelling on what could have happened if he had just gone with it. He liked Yoongi so much. He yearned for his smiles, his snarky comments, his warmth.

Yet, Jimin was aware that his kisses and embraces weren't going to magically solve all his problems.

Yoongi could help, Jimin was sure of it. But something was telling him that he needed to do this by and for himself. There was nothing wrong with relying on other people, but he had always had a hard time doing so. And Jimin was hurting enough already, he didn't want to hurt others in the process.

Also, his lack of dating experience frightened him when faced with the possibility of messing up what Yoongi and he could have. Jimin just wasn't ready to face such a commitment when he was feeling so lost about himself. First, he wanted to get a grasp on who he was and who he wanted to become, what his priorities and values were.

"You could also do that in a relationship," Taehyung had commented one night as they lay on Jimin's bed during one of their many conversations on the topic. "Yoongi could help you with that."

"I have thought about it too," Jimin admitted with his eyes fixed on the ceiling, one hand resting lifelessly on his stomach, the other kneading his forehead. "But what if one day I wake up and feel like running away because this isn't what I really want, because I don't really know what I want?" He said, getting worked up as the words came out in a rush before pausing and heaving a sigh. "It just doesn't seem fair to the other person. I don't want that to happen."

"But who says you'll do that? Maybe you won't."

"Maybe, but I don't know that for certain."

"Nobody knows anything for certain in this world, Jiminie," his best friend told him with a heavy heart.

Silence permeated the room for a few minutes until Jimin let his arm slide from his head until it rested by his side on the mattress.

"But I want to know," Jimin confessed, voice small and shaky. Turning his head to look at his friend, Jimin sent him a forlorn smile. "That's exactly why I can't be with him or anyone else right now."

Taehyung was biting his lip as he contemplated Jimin's face with conflicted eyes.

"Come on. Say whatever is on your mind," Jimin prompted him with a knowing look.

His friend hesitated before sighing. "I didn't want to tell you this, but as your friend, I think I should," Taehyung told him, shifting so he was laying on his side, looking at his friend with uncharacteristically serious eyes. "What if there's no other time? What if whatever this is you have with Yoongi never comes back? He'll be graduating soon, what if you won't get to see him again?"

It hurt Jimin a lot to think about it. It was one of his worst fears right now, but it was a very real and plausible possibility; one that he had pondered on before.

"Then it means that we weren't meant to be after all, and I'll have to accept it," Jimin replied, looking so distressed that Taehyung couldn't help but engulf him in a bear hug.

Jimin was terrified, but he was praying that his worst fear wouldn't become a reality.

That Yoongi wouldn’t become his biggest regret.

***

It was impossible to avoid Yoongi completely. In fact, Jimin wasn't actively trying to do so this time, but that didn't mean he sought him out either.

He couldn't count all the times he had caught a glimpse of his hyung around campus. There were sporadic encounters in which they both would make eye contact and inevitably send each other small smiles, but neither approached the other. They just continued walking, going on with their lives, giving each other space.

There were other times where Jimin could feel an intense gaze on his nape or see a familiar head of messy black hair on his peripheral, but he would just swallow thickly and try extra hard to focus on his conversation with Taehyung and Hoseok or whatever else he was doing.

In other instances, it was the other way around. Jimin was the one in a daze when he caught sight of Yoongi. His eyes would glue to him without realising it as his hyung walked with Namjoon and Seokjin, laughing and talking.

It was always a bittersweet moment. He really liked seeing Yoongi around; it made his heart skip a beat and his cheeks warm up. But then he would remember that he couldn't talk to him like before or approach him casually like he wanted to. Thus, he would just brace himself and go on his way.

Despite Jimin’s resolve, sometimes life had other things planned for you, and there's no avoiding it.

"Jimin-ah!"

Stopping abruptly in his tracks, Jimin's eyes widened as he gripped the strap of his backpack and turned around.

"Yoongi-hyung," Jimin let out in a breath, surprised as he watched Yoongi walking fast to him.

"Hey," Yoongi greeted, sounding slightly breathless once he stopped in front of him. They stood there, making eye contact, not quite believing they were once again talking face to face. Coming out of his daze, Yoongi sobered up and suddenly seemed to remember why he had approached the younger. "You dropped this," he informed him, showing him a pair of keys that were, in fact, Jimin's.

Gasping, Jimin reached out to take them. "I didn't even notice!" He said feeling truly grateful and relieved he hadn't lost them. "Thanks."

After the initial shock of their encounter, Jimin noticed a strange calm as he stood before his hyung, staring straight into his eyes again. He had missed him.

“Hoseok-hyung told me you’re graduating next month. Congratulations,” Jimin brought up with a genuine smile because if life had decided to make their paths cross this one time, he would take this chance to be cordial with the guy he had feelings for.

“Well, that’s what I’m hoping for. I’m still waiting for a few grades before it’s official, but it looks like it,” Yoongi explained, rubbing his nape, the tiredness of being a senior showing clearly in the bags under his eyes. “How is it going?” He ended up asking carefully as if afraid of intruding.

But Jimin was just happy to make some small talk and know how Yoongi had been doing too. “It’s going. Finishing my second year has been harder than I thought it would be.”

“Yeah, the second year is a little like a punch in the face. I still remember that like it was yesterday,” Yoongi agreed, looking back on his memories with fake wisdom and making Jimin giggle.

His hyung was observing him with a small smile and fond eyes that made warmth travel through Jimin’s body. Feeling his cheeks flushing, the boy thought that he had missed this sensation.

“If you need anything, you can tell me, you know?” Yoongi added casually, patting his backpack that was only hanging from one of his shoulders. “I’ve got plenty of notes and stuff that I won’t need soon.”

“I heard Seokjin saying he was gonna burn all his notes. He said it’s like a ritual after graduating.”

“So I’ve heard, but that’s not good for the environment...” Yoongi went silent for a few seconds, staring at Jimin, who tilted his head in question. “Or should I burn them at the bonfire?” He asked him nonchalantly, but his eyes were shining with mirth.

Jimin knew his cheeks were on fire at that point. “I’ll… I’ll take some of them, thanks,” the boy murmured, ducking his head in embarrassment as he remembered their last bonfire.

Upon hearing Yoongi’s laughter, Jimin glanced up at him. Yoongi’s teeth were on display along with his gums, and the younger thought that he could melt right then and there. His hyung was trying hard to alleviate the tension between them, and Jimin admired and felt thankful for it despite his bashfulness. Yoongi had the cutest smile at that moment, and Jimin found himself trying to capture the sight so he wouldn’t forget it.

“Well, see you around, Jimin-ah?” Yoongi asked, taking a few steps back.

Jimin nodded and smiled, feeling how his eyes turned into small crescents. “See you around, hyung.”

Yoongi sent him a lopsided smile before finally turning around completely and walking in the faculty’s direction.

Jimin was happy they had been able to have a normal conversation despite their awkward situation. It was a clear sign of maturity on both parts. Nonetheless, Jimin was still sad to see him go. The sight of his retreating back waking up an urge to run to him, to envelop him in a hug and not let go. But it wasn’t the right moment. He could feel it; his heart was telling him so.

Not yet.

However, this time was different. This time there wasn’t a gaping hole in his chest at the distance that separated them. This time he could breathe through his longing, and he could swallow past the bittersweet lump in his throat.

He was doing the right thing.

***

Yoongi kept his promise of giving Jimin some of his notes.

They saw each other a couple more times, surrounded by their group of friends, and Jimin even went to their graduation ceremony.

After that, Yoongi graduated, and Jimin became a third-year student.

They wouldn't see each other again until almost two years later.

Chapter Text

The sun was setting by the time Jimin arrived with his family at the hotel where they would be spending the night. A soft and cooling breeze caressed his skin, the salty smell of the ocean inviting him to take a deep breath. Being born and raised in Busan, Jimin felt very attached to the ocean, so he was very happy about his father's company celebrating its anniversary there.

When his dad told them about it, Jimin hadn't felt very enthusiastic about attending. It would just be a bunch of adults he didn't know, but it was its 30th anniversary, and his father was very excited about the entire family going together, so how could he refuse?

Before the celebration started, they left their light luggage in their respective rooms: one for his parents and another for his brother and him. Taking out his outfit for the night, Jimin saw his younger brother flopping onto his bed with a dramatic groan. Grinning to himself, Jimin started getting changed into a pair of slacks, a white shirt and a black jacket.

"Your phone is ringing," Jimin heard his brother call him from the room while he had been fixing his hair in the bathroom.

"Thanks," he told him as he walked quickly to the bedside table where he had left the device. "Hoseok-hyung?" He asked when he took the call. 

" Hey, Minnie," he heard his hyung's cheerful voice. " Are you in Busan already? "

"Yeah, we're at the hotel," Jimin replied, sitting at the foot of his bed as he watched his brother put on a buttoned-up shirt. "Did something happen?"

“ Nothing bad, but Eunwoo-hyung wanted to know if you could teach the younger kids on Tuesday. Something came up, and he knows you like teaching them, so he asked me to tell you if you could take his shift. ”

Eunwoo was a dance teacher at the dance academy where Jimin had managed to get an internship. It had been in part thanks to Hoseok, who also worked there; he was the one who recommended him for the position. Jimin was very happy there, and he had learned a lot in those few months. Although it was hard balancing it with his schoolwork, it had turned out to be such an enriching experience that he didn’t mind the exhaustion that hit him by the end of the day.

Jimin took a moment to remember his own schedule before he nodded. “Yes, I can do it. The afternoon shift, right?”

“ That one,” Hoseok confirmed. “ I’ll let him know you’ll take it, okay? ”

“Okay.”

“ Well, then, have fun tonight, Jiminie. ”

“I’ll try,” he replied with a sigh as he played with a loose thread on his sleeve distractedly.

Hoseok snorted at his lack of enthusiasm. “ Come on, I’m sure it won’t be that bad .”

“Hyung, this is full of adults that I don’t know. If it wasn’t for my dad, I wouldn’t even be here.”

“Preach,” Jimin heard his brother agree with him as he tried to get into—or fight, he wasn’t sure—his pants.

“ There’s gonna be free food, and you’re staying in a four-star hotel. If I could, I’d swap places with you right now. Don’t be ungrateful,” he scolded him with no heat to his words.

“The beach is nice,” Jimin murmured begrudgingly, trying to say something positive about this whole situation because he was not ungrateful, thank you very much.

“ There you go! ” Hoseok snickered at him. “ Now stop pouting and go. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even have fun .”

Jimin snorted. “We’ll see,” he replied, not wanting to give in.

“ Yeah, we’ll see,” Hoseok singsonged.

The last thing he heard before his hyung hung up was the sound of his laughter.

Jimin sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging. He was about to put his phone back on the table when he noticed a text notification. Swiping down to see who it was from his notification drawer, Jimin felt his heart in his throat when he read the simple message without opening the conversation.

yoongi: hey

Jimin’s mind went blank instantly, his brain struggling to catch up with who it was and unable to react in any way.

What? How? Why?

That had definitely been unexpected. It had been almost two years since the last time they had seen each other. Until very recently, Jimin had hardly ever thought about Yoongi. It had been very hard at first, but with time and his hectic schedule, little by little, he had been able to stop thinking about him daily.

His hyung had become a memory that would cross his mind briefly from time to time. He always remembered him fondly and with a pang of regret, but Jimin would get rid of that thought quickly because there was no point in dwelling on the past.

However, lately, those fleeting thoughts had been coming back more frequently, and they were awakening old hopes and feelings that Jimin was scared of. He just couldn't stop thinking about who else worked in that same company, but Jimin didn't want to predispose himself for disappointment and heartbreak. Yet, the small flame lighting his heart kept burning stubbornly, fighting the shadows away.

It was like a small part of him knew that something was coming, like a sixth sense warning him and making his insides tingle. And here it was, in the form of a text.

"Hyung, dad's coming for us. It's time for dinner," Jihyun snapped him back to reality with a startle. Staring at him in surprise at that reaction, the younger boy got closer to Jimin. "Are you okay?" He asked him with a frown that reflected his concern as he studied his hyung's face. "You look pale."

Forcing a smile, Jimin shook his head. "Nothing's wrong. I'm okay."

Jihyun was frowning as he studied his expression. "If you say so..." His brother conceded, not believing him, and with good reason.

With a knot in his stomach and shoving his phone into his back pocket, Jimin got up from the bed and took his brother by the shoulders, giving him a quick, reassuring squeeze before they exited their room together.

Jimin didn’t open the text.

***

Before they sat down to eat dinner, they were served some hors d’oeuvres while the other guests arrived. Jimin’s father didn’t stop shaking hands and greeting his coworkers as well as introducing his family to others. It wasn’t exactly enjoyable, but it wasn't that bad either. The food was good, the hotel was very nice, and the view was amazing. But Jimin was tense and felt unable to look around freely. 

He had a feeling. A feeling that something was going to happen, and he feared having high hopes only to end up having to face reality again. That feeling had been there for a few weeks now, since the first time his father talked to them about the party. It was a very plausible possibility. One he feared and yearned for.

Jimin felt like a mess, like his 20-year-old self again. But he knew it wasn’t true, he had grown and matured. That’s why he was so frustrated with himself, and the only thing he dared to do was focus on the drink in his hand as he sipped it. It was also why the inevitable ended up happening, and he had to excuse himself to go to the restroom.

He was washing his hands when he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He looked a bit pale and overwhelmed because he was getting worked up over what seemed to be nothing. Jimin needed to calm down because he knew what was happening, he was well acquainted with this sensation; he was fighting his own expectations.

Suddenly, Jimin became aware of his phone's weight, still shoved inside his back pocket. Shaking his head as he clenched his eyes shut, Jimin splashed his face with some very much needed cold water. He just needed a second to pull himself together and cool down. Everything would be okay.

After taking a few deep breaths and patting his face dry with some paper towels, Jimin decided that it was enough. There was nothing to worry about, everything would turn out the way it had to because that's just how life was. And he wasn't going to fight it because he knew it was a lost battle.

The thing was that Jimin had forgotten how life enjoyed slapping him in the face from time to time, and the door to the restroom hadn't closed behind him yet when Jimin's eyes landed on him.

To his left, leaning his back against the wall with his head lowered and hands shoved in his pockets, Yoongi was waiting for him. Jimin knew he had been waiting because the moment the door closed with a click, Yoongi raised his head and stared into Jimin's eyes, not an ounce of surprise in them.

"I saw you entering, so I was waiting.” His soothing drawl sounded just as enticing as Jimin remembered, and he could only stare at him in mild shock as the other approached him. "Hi, Jimin."

Not having realised he was holding his breath, Jimin finally exhaled through his teeth. "Y-Yoongi-hyung," he stammered, clearly flustered. "It's been... a while."

Yoongi chuckled softly at that. "We seem to say that every time we meet."

Jimin could only giggle a little manically at that. The younger couldn't believe that his gut feeling had been right all along and that he was standing in front of the other. They were both at the same place at the same time. His brain short-circuited. His emotions were strangling him and making it extra difficult to cope with meeting his hyung once again.

"Actually, I sent you a text today," Yoongi continued without letting the silence stale and saving Jimin from further embarrassment.

Jimin blinked at that and took a little too much time to respond. "Oh, I didn't see it. Sorry," he lied quickly, cursing himself afterwards. The younger couldn't help it when one of his hands went to his back pocket as if the unopened text made his phone weigh more. In reality, it was just his conscience that felt heavier. "Did you... know I was going to be here?" Jimin asked, his voice too soft, too weak.

He shook his head. "I didn't. I just felt like sending you a message for some reason," letting out an awkward laugh, Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. "My father asked me to come, and this was in Busan, so it reminded me of yo— I mean, you know how our parents are friends and work for the same company. I just thought maybe your family had dragged you here too," Yoongi finished saying with an awkward cough.

His hyung's eyes had been wandering around as he gave him that explanation, and he looked as flustered as Jimin had a minute ago. Jimin wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for his inability to take his eyes off of Yoongi at the moment, but he saw how the other's shoulders sagged with the deep breath he took. It was then that Yoongi finally made eye contact with him again, and they gazed at each other in silence.

"I see," Jimin conceded after a while, his words simple yet full of meaning.

Yoongi was opening his mouth to say something else, but their moment was abruptly interrupted by a voice Jimin knew too well.

"Jimin, there you are!" His father sounded excited, and both guys turned to him. Jaeho wasn't only with his mom and brother, though. "Oh, I see you both have already met."

"Oh, it's true. Yoongi went to the same university as your kid, right?" Another man that Jimin had never seen told his father. Although he didn't know him, it was easy to guess; especially when, by his side, there was a woman that was the spitting image of his hyung, and another young but older man that resembled him greatly too.

Yoongi and Jimin glanced at each other briefly. Their conversation had been cut short, and it would have to be postponed for now. It made Jimin nervous.

In a few years, people could change a lot, and he didn't know if Yoongi was a whole new person by now. However, with his gaze fixed on his hyung's back as they walked to their families, Jimin remembered Yoongi's words and nervous gestures from before. Maybe it was because Jimin had grown a bit more observant and intuitive in recent years, but it made the younger rest a little more assured.

Yoongi was a bad liar too.

***

"It's great that we could finally meet each other’s families," Jimin's dad was saying as the waiters served them. "We've always talked about it, but it just seemed almost impossible."

After a brief talk, they had all decided to sit at one of the round tables to have dinner together. Jimin ended up sitting between his younger brother and Yoongi's hyung. Meanwhile, Yoongi had taken the seat beside his older brother. At that, Jimin felt grateful, otherwise, he thought he could have combusted if he had had to sit so close to Yoongi after so long.

Jimin still felt dizzy after his reunion with him, and he was too overwhelmed to look at him. Still, he stole a few glances in his direction, just to make sure that this was real; that this was actually happening. It still felt surreal to be surrounded by Yoongi's family, and Jimin was starting to get scared of choking on his food or making a mess just from his nerves alone. He just couldn't seem to relax, his shoulders tense as he eyed the food.

"Until today, I thought that this wouldn't happen," Yoongi's dad confessed, taking a sip of wine. "I'm still surprised our Yoongi made it tonight."

"What does that mean?" Yoongi inquired, looking up from his steak with a frown.

"Come on, you know exactly what he meant," Yoongi's hyung replied instead, snorting. "It's very difficult to get a hold of you, and it's rare when you don't call to cancel at the last minute."

Yoongi's frown deepened, his mouth twisting. "I'm not that bad," he mumbled.

Jimin thought he looked a bit embarrassed, or guilty, or maybe both. It was his mom who went to his rescue, though.

"Leave him alone," she chastised them. "He's just busy with work. Also," she added, shooting her husband a pointed look, "at least he calls often when he's not home."

Everyone broke out into soft chuckles when Yoongi's dad cleared his throat at the accusation, clearly feeling called out. It was amusing to see another family's dynamics and realising that they weren't that different from theirs.

"Ah, I truly understand you, Hyunbin," Jaeho intervened with a smile before sending Jimin a look and making the boy tense in his seat. “Jimin is always so busy with his studies and work that I was doubting he'd come with us."

Feeling his cheeks warming up at being put in the spotlight like that, Jimin's brows furrowed. "Dad," he protested weakly, not wanting to make a scene.

"It's okay, love," his mom intervened this time, extending an arm in his direction to placate him with a warm smile. "It's your last year of college, we understand."

"You're graduating this year?" Yoongi's hyung by his side asked him before taking a sip of wine.

Jimin nodded and quickly averted his gaze as he ate some of his food. Looking in his direction meant seeing Yoongi just beside him, and his nerves couldn't take it. Jimin was trying to look calm and collected, and he was hoping that the tension in his shoulders wasn't too noticeable.

"What are your plans for the future?" Hyunbin asked him, looking interested.

But Jimin could only look at the man like a deer caught in the headlights as he chewed his food slowly. He didn't want to be rude and speak with his mouth full, so it was his dad who answered.

"He's got an internship at a dance academy, and once he graduates, he'll work there full-time."

Jimin swallowed hard. "That's still not set in stone, dad," he murmured in his embarrassment.

But his father continued like he hadn't heard him. "He's talked before about opening his own dance academy, so this is a great start to gain more experience."

"Dad, please," Jimin tried not to sound whiny, but it was difficult when his father was talking about him like that in front of Yoongi and his family.

Sensing Jimin’s discomfort, Yoongi’s dad spoke. "Being ambitious is a good thing. Your father is just proud of you. That's good," Hyunbin nodded with a smile.

"I am," his father confirmed with a firm nod as he cut his steak.

Through his embarrassment, Jimin couldn't help but appreciate the warm feeling that was settling in his chest at knowing that he was making his parents proud. That had been something that had worried him a lot, especially after having felt so lost for so long; it hadn't been easy to come this far. That’s why Jimin couldn't help how his gaze softened up as he regarded his dad fondly.

"What about you, Yoongi?” Jimin's mom asked this time. “Jaeho told me that you're a music producer, right?"

Yoongi seemed a bit startled by the attention, but he composed himself quickly. "Yes, I've been working for a music company and learning from other producers. I've worked as a freelancer a couple of times, too."

"He's always flying and being all over the place. Lately, he's been coming back and forth from the United States. He also works so many hours, I don't know when he sleeps," his mother commented worriedly as she caressed his son's cheek to Yoongi's embarrassment, but his eyes remained gentle at the gesture and didn't reject it.

"I'll tell you when," his hyung intervened. "He doesn't."

Yoongi scowled at him through his guilt. "Hyung, stop that. I can take care of myself, and you're worrying her more."

"You should at least eat well," she continued with a frown, clearly concerned. "I feel like the food over there isn't the healthiest."

"I can cook," Yoongi reminded her with a sigh.

His hyung snorted. "But do you?"

Yoongi deadpanned, tired of the conversation, which seemed to take place quite often by his expression before he turned to address Jimin's parents. "My hyung over here has opened up a restaurant very recently."

It got the reaction he seemed to be looking for: redirecting everybody's attention. Jimin's parents hurried to express their curiosity and admiration as they asked questions regarding his brother's job. Yoongi let out a sigh as he slumped subtly against the back of his chair and let the attention go to another person. It was then when Yoongi turned to look in Jimin's direction and caught the younger looking at him.

Jimin knew he was staring and that he had been caught in the act, but he didn't tear his eyes away from the other. There was a feeling in his chest that he couldn't quite place as Yoongi held his gaze. Their eyes remained glued to each other for a bit before Jimin finally averted his eyes, pressing his lips together and taking his glass of wine.

The conversation didn't die down as they had dinner, and Jimin's eyes didn't go back to Yoongi again. That didn't mean that he couldn't feel it: the intensity of Yoongi's eyes on him from time to time, burning him, unnecessarily reminding him of his presence at the table.

As if Jimin could forget.

There was a lot on Jimin's mind as he mostly listened to the conversations taking place rather than actively participating in them. He had learned a lot about Yoongi's whereabouts in a short amount of time. Things he had wondered about from time to time, and that suddenly he had an answer to.

Yoongi had his own life now. He travelled the world, had an amazing job and worked with famous foreigners.

Jimin also had his own life, although his life hadn't changed that much yet. Not until he finally graduated, at least. But he had grown a lot, he knew he was more mature now, understood himself better and had become stronger.

Yet, they seemed to be worlds apart.

His hyung was all over the place, becoming a successful person at such a young age. His roots had extended to places Jimin didn't think he would ever be able to even visit. Meanwhile, Jimin's roots stood firmly in Korean soil, and he didn't have any plans on changing that any time soon. It was like they were both living in very different worlds.

They had grown up on their own terms.

And they had grown apart.

***

After dinner, they all decided to go to the bar to get some drinks, but Jimin wasn't feeling it at all. He felt bad about leaving them, but he needed a minute to breathe. That's why he used the only and stupidest excuse he could come up with and smiled while promising he would return shortly after.

The night's events were taking a toll on him. Jimin was tired and overwhelmed, his skin was prickling, and he felt uncomfortable in his elegant clothes. Luckily, the moment the salty air assaulted his senses and he took a deep breath, the tension in his shoulders eased a little.

It was a relief that the hotel was so near the beach, and Jimin didn't think twice, taking off his shoes the moment he got there. The cool sensation of the sand against his feet felt so nice as he wriggled his toes, burying them in it.

He took a stroll along the beach, getting closer to the sea but not daring to get too near. He didn't want the small waves to touch his feet; he hadn't brought a towel, and wearing his shoes afterwards would be messy and uncomfortable. Thus, he resigned himself to standing on the sand, with his back to the hotel and all its lights in favour of watching and listening to the sound of the ocean breaking gently on the shore. It was one of Jimin's favourite sounds in the world, and it helped in calming down his rising anxiety.

The salty breeze was messing his hair, and he found himself sitting down and closing his eyes as he took a deep breath, taking in the familiar and welcome scent. He knew that he would have to head back sooner than later; his phone was digging into his leg as a reminder that it could ring at any moment. But Jimin tried to avoid those thoughts in favour of enjoying the bliss that washed over him like the small waves lapping onshore. Calmly, softly, like a sweet caress to his restless heart.

Relying mostly on his sense of hearing at that moment, it was easy for him to notice the sound of the sand being stepped on as someone approached him from behind. Jimin was tempted to open his eyes and turn around, the presence of another person making him feel a bit nervous in case he didn’t know who they were, but he supposed they would just go on their way.

They didn’t, though. Instead, they stopped walking, and Jimin could feel their presence near.

“This place is very pretty,” came the familiar voice.

Goosebumps rose on his arms as a reaction to that deep voice. Luckily, he could blame the cool breeze for the shiver that ran down his spine.

Jimin hummed, still not turning around but finally opening his eyes. “You like the beach?”

“As long as the sun isn’t burning me alive, it’s pretty good.”

The very characteristic answer made the corners of Jimin’s lips curl up softly.

A comfortable silence settled between them, which was only interrupted by Yoongi when he sat down beside Jimin on the sand. This short break had served to calm Jimin down, and he no longer felt so jumpy around Yoongi like before. The familiar setting was doing wonders for his nervousness, and Jimin was glad he finally felt like he could talk to the other without combusting in the process.

"Are you okay?"

Jimin hummed, still looking at the ocean. "I just needed a moment away from all the noise."

He could feel Yoongi's eyes fixed on his profile and, at any other moment, Jimin wouldn't have met his gaze, too nervous to do so. But the ocean had managed to make him feel relaxed and content; it gave him enough serenity to face his hyung after all this time. Thus, Jimin rested his cheek on his knees, hugging his legs close to his chest, and finally stared into the eyes of the guy he had been avoiding all night.

"Should I call you Min PD-nim, now?" Jimin asked, voice soft and a small grin lifting the corner of his lips.

Yoongi snorted, never averting his eye as he sat with his legs stretched in front of himself, leaning back on his arms. "Wannabe Min PD-nim, to be more exact."

"Like the Spice Girls," Jimin teased with a giggle.

Yoongi deadpanned. "That was lame even for you. Glad to see that your sense of humour is as disastrous as it ever was," Yoongi pointed out, shaking his head as if he was disappointed, but it only made Jimin chuckle some more. "What about you? Dance teacher Park."

Jimin flushed a little but smiled nonetheless. "It's just an internship. There's nothing confirmed yet no matter how much my dad says otherwise."

"Pretty sure it'll happen," he said, gazing at the ocean in front of them. "Hoseok only has nice things to say about you."

"Hoseok?" The younger asked brows furrowed slightly in confusion. "He told you?"

"Yeah. I mean, we talk often," Yoongi offered like it was natural that he knew as much.

Yes, but you talked about me, Jimin thought to himself, his heart fluttering before a pang of guilt assaulted him. He hadn't thought about asking about how Yoongi had been doing to his friends.

Well, that's not true. He had thought about it, he just hadn't been brave enough to ask. But, on the other hand, Hoseok and the others hadn't brought up the topic either. Remembering his phone call from earlier, Jimin huffed in disbelief.

Hoseok could be so cunning.

"Did he tell you I was gonna be here?" Jimin asked because it made sense. "Is that why you texted me?"

Yoongi shook his head, glancing at him. "I told you before, I didn't know you'd be here. Hoseok didn't tell me," he clarified, turning his face and looking ahead once more. A short silence followed as if he was debating over saying what was on his mind or not. "But I was hoping you would be."

“Oh,” Jimin uttered, sounding breathless as he stared at Yoongi's profile.

At his own words, Yoongi laughed awkwardly to shake off the embarrassment he must have been feeling; how he was rubbing his nape nervously giving him away. “I'm just glad we got to meet again.”

Jimin nodded. Although there wasn't enough light to see them, the younger rested his chin on his knees so he could hide his flushed cheeks. "Me too," he admitted sheepishly.

It was a bit weird talking like this after everything that had happened between them those years ago. They both knew they once had feelings for each other. But still, Jimin thought that he should’ve felt more awkward in such a situation. Yet, that wasn’t the case.

Yes, it was a bit strange because there were things he no longer knew about Yoongi. There was a gap right there, between them, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, Jimin just felt curious and eager to know and fill the blank spaces.

Jimin could feel Yoongi's gaze on him again, but this time he didn't dare to look back. Instead, he focused on the feeling of the cool sand between his toes, almost instantly calming down his heart again.

Hearing his hyung's sudden soft laughter, Jimin finally looked at him, tilting his head and frowning in question. "What is it?"

Yoongi shook his head, still grinning to himself. "I just remembered something." But when he saw Jimin’s confused expression, he cleared his throat and lowered his head before he started playing with the sand under his fingers absentmindedly. “Do you remember the night at the train station?”

Jimin almost choked on air at the sudden topic, his eyes growing wide, and seeing how Yoongi was biting his lip, he was no doubt feeling embarrassed too.

“O-of course I do,” Jimin stammered, averting his eyes once again even though Yoongi wasn’t looking at him either. “Why are you bringing that up now?” He asked, his voice taking a bit of a higher pitch at the end.

Yoongi took a little bit to reply, his hands buried in the sand. “There’s something I didn’t tell you, and I just… I missed the opportunity to tell you that night at the station, and it’s been… I just need to tell you, okay? To get over it already.”

“What?” Jimin uttered, his voice muffled when he hid his face between his arms on his knees.

“Remember Hoseok’s birthday party during your freshman year?”

Jimin gulped. Of course he did. It had been a while, but he remembered quite clearly that night, especially because of all the times he had recalled it over time. If he concentrated, he could still feel Yoongi’s lips on his neck. “Y–Yeah.”

“Well, I… might have… lied about it.”

Tentatively lifting his face, Jimin blinked at the older man. “What do you mean?” He asked genuinely clueless.

“I remember… what happened.”

There was a brief silence in which Yoongi finally glanced at Jimin, and both of them remained there, staring at each other while Jimin’s brain tried to grasp the meaning behind the other’s words. It didn’t take a long time, and it was clear Jimin knew what Yoongi was talking about by the rising heat in his cheeks and how his eyes widened.

“Are you telling me you remembered what happened… when you… when I…” Jimin stammered in disbelief and embarrassment, but who could blame him??? What was going on?! Why was this suddenly happening???

“I did,” Yoongi confirmed, nodding once as he waited with careful eyes for Jimin’s reaction. “And I do.”

“Oh my god, Yoongi!” The younger punched him in the arm, making his hyung cradle his arm in pain. Jimin almost felt bad. But then he remembered that Yoongi knew exactly what happened that night; that he lied to Jimin when Yoongi texted him that he didn’t, and he no longer felt guilty about it. “Why did you lie?! How could you lie about that?!”

“What did you want me to do?!” Yoongi replied, getting worked up too at the younger’s agitation. “You wouldn’t talk to me after what I did!”

“Of course I didn’t! I was embarrassed!”

“Well, I was embarrassed too!”

Jimin paused at that, panting slightly. “You? Why would you be embarrassed about that? I was the one that ran away!”

“I was drunk and uninhibited, and I almost gave you a hickey! I was ready to risk it all, and then you ran away! Of course I was mortified!” Yoongi confessed hurriedly as he flailed his arms and a blush crept up his cheeks.

At this point, they were both blushing messes, and their breathing had become a little ragged. Taking a second to come down from their agitation, Jimin bit his lip as he looked down at his lap while Yoongi rubbed his nape and averted his eyes to the side.

The younger heard his hyung sighing heavily as if resigned about how the conversation he had initiated had turned out. “What I wanted to say with all of this is that I’ve always wanted to apologise about that,” he admitted a little gruffly in his mortification.

Jimin felt stupid, but the only thing that he managed to say was: “What?”

“I just… felt bad whenever I thought about having scared you like that and making you ran away,” Yoongi explained, gripping the fabric of his trousers as he fixed his eyes on them.

“You didn’t—”

But Yoongi didn’t let him continue, cutting him off with how he snapped his head in his direction. “I still remember your face, Jimin. You were spooked,” he recalled before gazing at the ocean again, pursing his lips. “It was a very natural reaction; I came on too strong.”

“But why did you do that?” Jimin asked, staring at him as he bit his lips because he thought he knew why. But a part of him really wanted his hyung to say the words, to confirm his suspicions, or deny them completely.

Yoongi snorted. “Why do you think?” He was met with silence, and Jimin looked like he knew why, but he didn’t dare to think about it, even less say it in front of the other. “I wanted to kiss you so bad that night.”

Jimin choked at his sincerity. “You—”

“You looked good, and I didn’t like you like that back then, but I found you attractive,” Yoongi confessed, suddenly sounding more confident than he had minutes prior. “I wasn’t thinking straight, to be honest,” he continued with vacant eyes and a rueful smile as he recalled what had happened. “And when you didn’t contact me in a few days, I knew I had fucked up big time.”

“I just… I was just taken aback,” Jimin murmured, his heart racing as he processed this new development.

“I know, and I’m sorry about that,” Yoongi continued honestly and with fond eyes before he sighed. Resting his weight on his arms behind himself again, he continued after a short pause. “But now that I think about it, I didn’t actually lie, lie.”

Jimin pursed his lips at that. “Yes, you did,” he murmured half-heartedly, complaining.

Yoongi shook his head. “I said I remembered close to nothing… The part where I was with you just made the cut.”

“Lying by omission is also lying,” he pointed out, hugging his knees closer to himself. He knew he was being a little petty by not letting it go, but he couldn’t help himself. Jimin missed their bickering.

“I was just kind of testing the waters, you know. Giving you a way out; a chance to forget about it. I was being a little selfish, too,” he admitted in resignation. “I didn’t want you to stop talking to me or texting me… who else would’ve sent me all those stupid emojis?” Yoongi finished with a smirk but soft eyes, still feeling bad about it all.

“They aren’t stupid, they’re cute. And I still use them,” Jimin informed him, still sulking a little, but his lips were hiding a shy smile.

Because he couldn’t be mad at Yoongi after such a confession. How could he when he felt giddy as if those years apart meant nothing?

“Ugh, you’re still so lame.” Yoongi lolled his head back dramatically in false exasperation. But Jimin knew he was just teasing him, especially when he added honestly: “Please send me some someday.”

Jimin bit back the big grin threatening to stretch his lips. But the moment Yoongi glanced at him, a lopsided smile adorning his face, there was no holding Jimin’s joy back, and he returned the smile. 

But then he remembered the text.

The younger nibbled on his bottom lip nervously, contemplating how to say it. “If we’re being honest with each other… I did see your message from before. I just didn’t answer,” he confessed, glancing at Yoongi after as he waited for his reaction this time.

He just raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that so?”

Jimin nodded. “I was just… overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to say.”

“It’s understandable,” Yoongi hummed before he shrugged his shoulders. “However, that’s nothing compared to my secret, so I win.”

“You were always saying that I was too honest, but you’ve been feeling guilty and dying to tell me this for years,” Jimin accused lamely, hiding his mouth on his knees as he tried to tease him to fight his own embarrassment. “We both win.”

Yoongi huffed a laugh before his expression turned more serious once again. “It’s just always been at the back of my mind, and I needed to tell you. It just felt… wrong,” Yoongi explained with a sigh, hunching his shoulders before shifting to sit with his legs crossed. “Are you mad?” He asked him tentatively as if fearing for an affirmative response.

Jimin rested his cheek on his knee again to be able to look at the other. There was a brief silence as he gazed at him before replying. "I'm relieved," he told him, and it wasn't until he said the words out loud that he realised how true that statement was.

"Relieved?" Yoongi repeated to prompt him to elaborate.

Jimin nodded, his cheek rubbing against the fabric of his slacks. "You're still the same. I mean…" The younger quickly cut himself off to explain himself better. "You have a job and are more adult-like, but you are still… you."

"Well, thank you, I guess?" Yoongi replied after a short pause, letting out a quiet and confused laugh. "I mean, I feel like I've grown, but I'm still me. It's not like the moment you become an adult with responsibilities your whole self changes."

Jimin smiled forlornly. "Yes, I'm starting to learn that now."

There's a short silence after that, only the waves filling it with their murmur. As Yoongi studied Jimin, his lips curled up before he spoke again. "I could say the same about you, though. You haven't changed, but you have changed too. It's nice to see. You seem more grown, more mature… Less sad."

"I feel like that too. I'm happy it's not just me who gets that impression,” he finished with an airy laugh.

“I’m happy for you, Jimin. Truly.”

Yoongi’s eyes were glinting with something akin to pride, and the younger could see a hint of his gums in his smile, a sight so characteristic, so Yoongi, that it made Jimin ache.

A shiver went down his spine without him being able to hide it. “Thank you, hyung.”

Having caught onto that, Yoongi frowned before making a move to get up. “You’re getting cold. We should go back.”

“No,” Jimin replied immediately, grabbing onto the other’s wrist on instinct.

Jimin’s skin was warmer than Yoongi’s, which his hyung noticed too. He regarded him with a raised eyebrow, and Jimin knew that his hyung was aware of his shudders not being due to the cool breeze. Jimin only ducked his head as he bit his lip at the other’s attention.

“I’m not cold, so let’s stay a bit more,” Jimin mumbled, not being able to look at Yoongi but still not letting go.

Yoongi remained standing there, his gaze fixed on what he could see of Jimin’s face. “We should go back even if that’s not the case,” Yoongi said, but his actions didn’t reflect his words. Instead, he sat beside Jimin again, but this time closer than before, their shoulders almost touching. “They’ll begin looking for us if we don’t show up again soon.”

Jimin’s thumb was making small circles on his hyung’s wrist, and when the other didn’t make any attempt at pulling away, the younger let his heart hope once again. “Not yet, please.”

“Okay,” Yoongi conceded softly.

They stayed side by side, their shoulders finally touching as the ocean sang them its lullaby under the stars. Jimin’s heart hadn’t felt such comfort in so long that he was surprised. Surprised and, just like he had told Yoongi a few minutes prior, relieved. For some reason, talking with Yoongi again, and noticing how the person he used to know was still the person in front of him now, made him feel an immense comfort. One of his biggest fears hadn’t ended up coming true, and it made Jimin’s heart swell with a warm emotion that almost made his eyes water.

He almost let them fall when a new and slow movement made him look down at their hands that were now clasped together.

Jimin’s breath hitched in his throat.

“Is this okay?” Yoongi asked after hearing Jimin’s reaction.

Feeling how Yoongi loosened his grasp, Jimin shook his head quickly, grabbing the other’s hand tighter. Jimin felt Yoongi’s shoulders slump in relief, and the younger tried hard to bite down the words threatening to spill from his lips. A flood of warmth and affection was coursing through his body, and the words were on the tip of his tongue. And he couldn’t stop them. Because Jimin felt too much, and he couldn’t keep good feelings for himself only. He needed to share them, or he would suffocate.

“I missed you,” Jimin blurted out, immediately wincing and closing his eyes hard once the words were out.

But, surprisingly, no feeling of regret assaulted him after his confession this time. Jimin wasn’t having second thoughts. On the contrary, he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he could breathe properly once again. Jimin opened his eyes to see the little waves curl over and dissolve into foam.

Taking a shaky deep breath, another shudder travelled down his spine before he turned to look at his hyung. Yoongi’s eyes were staring right back at him, his lips parted, and he looked so soft that Jimin thought he would melt right then and there. The corners of Yoongi’s lips curled up slightly.

“I missed you, too,” he whispered back as to not break the moment, and Jimin’s heart started thumping in his chest.

Their words were simple, but they were loaded with old feelings and new ones, and they both knew that.

Jimin felt his chest filling up with warmth and giddiness so quickly that it wouldn’t have been possible for him to contain the grin that adorned his face. Feeling a bit shy, Jimin lowered his gaze again, but this time he couldn’t help but rest his head on the other’s shoulder. Right after, he felt Yoongi resting his temple against the younger’s head, and no more words were exchanged for a while because they weren’t necessary.

It was undeniable that their hearts still beat for each other. And, although there were still many things left unsaid, Jimin felt content at that moment. Unlike all the other times he had been this close to Yoongi, there were no doubts in his head. He was comfortable, he felt safe, and his heart was telling him that this was right.

And just for a moment, they sat there, pressed together as the cool breeze caressed their cheeks. They just basked in the sweetness of their reunion, in their shared warmth, in their reblooming feelings, in the comfort they still felt in each other’s presence.

But Jimin was also used to the bittersweet taste of their relationship, and it came sooner than later.

The ring of Yoongi’s phone broke the moment in a very anticlimactic way, forcing them to separate so Yoongi could get up and take his phone out of his trousers’ pocket. As Yoongi answered and reassured their families that they had met at the lobby and that they would get back to them in a minute, Jimin also got up, brushing the sand off his butt and putting his shoes back on.

When Yoongi hung up, he sent the younger an apologetic look that Jimin just shrugged off and returned with a small smile. “I guess we have sneaked out for too long.”

Yoongi sighed, looking a bit bummed out. “I guess so.”

Catching up to Yoongi, Jimin started heading back to the hotel, walking with some difficulty on the sand while using shoes. His eyes were fixed on where he was stepping, so that’s why he didn’t see Yoongi sneaking up on him until his arms were circling his waist, and Jimin found himself being pressed against his hyung’s front in a hug.

Jimin could feel his cheeks warm up pleasantly. “Yoongi?” He questioned, sounding a bit winded.

“I don’t want to let go yet.”

Yoongi was so close that Jimin could feel his breath on his nape, sending chills down his back.

“You were the one that said we should head back first,” Jimin pointed out but didn’t make any effort to get away. On the contrary, he rested his hands on top of Yoongi’s on his stomach.

“I’m aware,” he answered gruffly.

Jimin snorted at his response, but a thought immediately popped into his head.

Their time together had come to an end. They would reunite with their families, and the next morning they would all go on their merry ways. Jimin would go back to Seoul to study, and Yoongi had a job that would most likely send him to another continent very soon. He knew they could still call each other and text; he felt more confident this time that it could turn out better than last time. But being reunited after so long just to be separated again for god knows how long had Jimin wanting to punch life in its inexistent face.

“You’re gonna go again after this, right?” Jimin whispered, not wanting his voice to falter as his heart twisted uncomfortably in his chest. “We won’t be able to be together for some time after tonight, right?”

Like it always happens, Jimin thought but didn’t say.

Yoongi’s grasp tightened around the younger. “Yeah,” he confirmed regretfully.

Trying to keep his composure, Jimin patted Yoongi’s hands before he was disentangling them so he could turn around to look at Yoongi. Even then, the younger took the other’s hands between his own to not seem as dejected as he felt.

“Maybe next time,” Jimin said with a sad curl of his lips and droopy eyes that accentuated his woe.

But Yoongi was shaking his head, his eyes determined.

“What do you mean no?” The younger questioned, sniffling softly because the chilly air was starting to get to him.

“I mean that there won’t be a next time,” the other clarified firmly.

Jimin’s face fell as the implication of the other’s words started to register in his brain, making him feel sick to his stomach. “Oh,” Jimin let out almost imperceptibly.

“This is the last 'maybe next time'. Because I’m coming back for good.”

Jimin looked up at Yoongi so quickly that he wondered how he didn’t give himself whiplash, but he didn’t care. His eyes had widened, and his lips had fallen slack at that last sentence as he became a blubbering mess.

“Wh—Coming ba—But Yoongi… I mean, your job is— You have to—"

Pulling Jimin closer to him by their laced hands, Yoongi tried to calm him down, letting go of one of his hands to cup his cheek, his thumb caressing his by now cold skin.

“I haven’t told anybody yet, so you’re gonna be the first one,” Yoongi told him, sounding more excited than Jimin remembered ever hearing him, but still a bit subdued because that was just how his demeanour was.

“What is it?” Jimin asked, still in a daze and trying his hardest to calm his heart.

“Do you remember Namjoon?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well, we’ve been talking for years about how it was our dream to make music and work in the industry, but that’s quite hard to accomplish. It’s even harder when you have such specific ideas like we both have, and we don’t want to work on something we don’t believe in," he explained quickly, almost tripping over his own words a few times in his excitement. "I know we sound a bit like fantasists, but we really want to try, and we’ve found this place in Seoul, and everything is more or less ready so… we’re gonna start our own label."

“What?” Jimin inquired, sounding breathless as he watched his hyung in awe at what he had just told him.

Yoongi nodded, confirming his own words as he bit his lip to contain his smile, but not really succeeding. “It’s gonna be hard, and we’re gonna have to work a lot, and it’s gonna be so stressful, and we could fail spectacularly. But we want to do this. It’s our dream, and we’re going to try our best so it doesn’t remain just that. We want it to become a reality.”

His hyung was so excited that he ended up rubbing off on Jimin, who held Yoongi’s hand tighter as he tried to come up with something to say. “That’s… amazing, Yoongi-hyung,” Jimin replied in wonderment, feeling breathless. “That’s… wow.”

“It is, right? I was very excited about this before,” Yoongi said before pressing their foreheads together and confessing quietly: “But now… I’m ecstatic.”

Excitement was running through Jimin’s veins, making him feel pleasantly itchy all over as the biggest smile stretched his lips. He could feel his eyes getting teary at the happiness that flooded him.

Yoongi wasn’t going away.

He was staying near him; in Seoul no less.

They could give this a try.

For real this time.

Not wanting to damp the moment with silly tears even if they were from happiness, Jimin buried his face in Yoongi’s neck as he latched onto him, hugging him with all his might. His hyung chuckled at his enthusiasm and returned the hug just as tightly, basking in the euphoria of the moment.

“I don’t mean to cut this moment short," Yoongi mumbled after a while, his lips attached to Jimin’s temple as the younger nuzzled him, "but we might want to go back already before they actually come for us." 

“Right now, I couldn’t care less about that.”

“Yeah, me too... Until they end up shouting our names when they realise we aren’t actually at the lobby.”

With a sigh, Jimin finally let go slowly, pouting at his hyung. It was just for show though; he didn’t think anything could dampen his mood any time soon.

Yoongi snorted at that. “We can sneak out later,” he suggested with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows cheekily.

“When?” Jimin asked, still fake sulking.

“The night is young.”

And so they did.

After everybody went to sleep, they sneaked out of their rooms and met each other. They found some couches in the lobby, which at 3 AM, was mostly empty. And they spent the rest of the night sitting close, facing each other as they talked, and remembered, and caught up a bit more on their lives.

Jimin was astounded by how right everything felt. Despite the years apart, their feelings seemed to bloom a bit more as the minutes went by as if their hearts were awakening by being in each other’s presence. Jimin’s fluttering feeling in his chest only seemed to increase whenever he managed to make Yoongi laugh, his eyes disappearing just like his did. He also noticed the way Yoongi’s eyes seemed to sparkle, looking almost proud of him when Jimin told him all about his new dream and goals; about how different he felt compared to before.

There were things that Jimin still feared. He had never been in a relationship, and the uncertainty still made him nervous. But, this time, he was more excited than anxious over this new journey, especially if the person that was going to be by his side was going to be Yoongi. He felt ready to learn and make mistakes. He felt comfortable in his hyung’s presence and content with his own self.

It felt right.

As the night progressed, not only did they grow closer emotionally, but also physically. With each new story or fit of laughter, they scooted closer to each other until their knees were touching where they sat, elbows resting on the back of the couch and their heads inching closer. They whispered embarrassing anecdotes between bouts of giggles, and they gazed into each other’s eyes with content smiles.

It felt natural when after one of these occurrences, they closed the small gap between them, their lips connecting in a brief peck as if they were testing the waters. And when they opened their eyes again and they found themselves staring in awe at the other, Jimin couldn’t help but let out a giggle at the giddiness squeezing his chest, making Yoongi chuckle too.

They continued talking after that as if kissing was a normal thing for them. But they knew. That small kiss had sealed their non-verbal promise to give this a try, finally.

Thinking back on their relationship, Jimin could say that he believed that timing in love was important and difficult to get right. He wasn’t sure about it being all about being at the right place and time, or coincidences, or fate. He thought that it had more to do with the people involved, their minds and hearts and where they stood in their lives. Jimin simply hadn’t been ready for such a commitment at twenty.

And maybe Jimin was taking life too seriously, and maybe some people thought that he could’ve just jumped straight into it and try to figure things out as he went. But every person’s different, and Jimin was no exception.

He was a thinker, a worrier, and he didn’t like to do things when his heart wasn’t one hundred per cent on what he was doing. And maybe he could’ve missed his opportunity with Yoongi because of it back then. Heck, he thought he had.

Yet, despite his need to rationalise and understand everything, Jimin had always been a hard believer that we should trust ourselves and our instincts. Sometimes people needed to be assertive and fight for what they wanted. However, we shouldn’t feel discouraged forever when things don’t go our way because everyone’s timing is different.

With a small laugh, Jimin remembered that fortune-telling paper that had made him snort in disbelief as a freshman. Well, maybe that had been a hint that life had thrown his way; that sometimes waiting had its perks, and that we shouldn’t rush happiness.

This didn’t mean that people should just spend their lives waiting for things to miraculously happen. It just meant that you can let yourself enjoy the ride while your heart becomes ready for the next adventure. That when you feel like you’re drowning, when you don’t have the strength to move on, when you think everything is as lost as you feel; at that moment, it’s okay to trust the timing of your life.

What's really important is enjoying and making the most of what life throws at us. Every moment is precious in some way. And, even if we don’t see it at the moment, we might miss those times in the future or regret not having cherished them better when we had the opportunity. And when you reach the shore again, when you feel ready to fight once more, you can get up and continue walking and exploring again.

As the sun rose over the horizon, its soft rays illuminating the lobby little by little, Yoongi and Jimin found themselves still sitting on that couch, talking happily, basking in their proximity—and maybe they had been exchanging a few more kisses every now and then.

The new morning enveloped them in its warm and soft embrace, making everything seem more dream-like. But this was real. They were real. This wasn’t just the beginning of a new day. They both knew that today was different.

Between whispered promises about their future together, complicit smiles and sweet kisses, Jimin and Yoongi laced their fingers together, their foreheads touching as their journey together began.

After all, it was about time.