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Every other day, it seemed like a new school was being shot up. Instead of being rare, it felt more like everyone was holding their breath waiting for a school they knew to be all over the news.
Except Andrew. Andrew didn’t hold his breath for anything. Not much could shock him and he’d faced worse than some punk with Daddy’s gun and wounded pride.
Kevin of all people show know this. Andrew didn’t care about school shooters and he cared about twitter even less. Even so, Kevin shoved his phone into Andrew’s face and only the lack of color and wide eyes on Kevin’s face made Andrew look.
Palmetto State. Three dead, ten injured.
The phone was in his hands before he registered his hand even moving. Of course the call went straight through to voice mail, Nicky’s voice on Neil’s machine too chipper for Andrew’s quickly deteriorating demeanor.
Vision graying, he barely noticed himself or his surroundings as he stalked to his car, refusing to run, refusing to admit what that would mean. His foot still sank onto the gas pedal the instant the car started. The drive was usually almost an hour but he cut that in half, even though he took back roads to avoid the emergency vehicles and related traffic.
In front of the dorm, he threw the car in park in definitely not a parking spot, took the stairs two at a time, and shoved open the door at the end of the hall.
Neil looked up from his desk, obviously surprised and confused. Andrew couldn’t even begin to unpack his own emotions and he had no interest to. Instead, he stalked over to Neil, grabbing him by the shirt and slamming him against the wall.
“Hi,” Neil said.
Andrew wanted to hit him. Or kiss him. “Your phone was off.”
“Oh.” Neil’s eyes darted to his backpack. “It must have died.”
Of course it did. Andrew closed his eyes and gripped Neil harder.
“Is everything okay?”
He opened his eyes to glare at Neil. Then he pulled out his own phone and showed him all the texts from Kevin, Nicky, Dan, Renee, and even Aaron and Alison.
Neil’s eyes raced over the words and then to the window, where they could see emergency lights in the distance reflecting off the blinds.
“Oh,” he said when he looked back at Andrew. Even with a carefully schooled expression hard won after years of necessary practice, he knew Neil could read everything he was thinking and deliberately not thinking. “I’m okay,” Neil said softly.
“Obviously,” Andrew bit out.
They stood there for a moment in silence. Andrew wanted to relax his grip on Neil. He was already showing more than was safe but every time he tried to release him, his mind flashed back to the images and thoughts that had raced through him during the longest thirty minute drive of his life.
“Sorry,” Neil said.
Andrew pushed him harder into the wall. “Don’t.” He hated apologies almost as much as he hated please. A glance at Neil’s lips had him moving in closer but he didn’t trust himself not to bite, so he went for Neil’s neck instead, not kissing, just breathing. Slowly, he let his hands fall to Neil’s hips. For the first time since Kevin showed him his phone, he felt like he could breathe. It pissed him off. “I hate you,” he said into Neil’s neck, acutely aware of Neil’s unmoving hands dangling at his sides.
“I know,” Neil said.
After a couple of deep breaths, he pulled back just enough so he could kiss Neil. The final sense to prove he was unharmed, he needed to taste.
Kissing Neil was unlike any other kisses he’d ever experienced. It was unhurried, unargumentative, but still eager. Undemanding but not passive. Even without moving, letting Andrew just take or give as he wanted, Andrew reveled in the way Neil responded to him. The noises he made, the tilt of his head, the shifting of his feet. Andrew was becoming a pro at reading the tiniest movement or sound and he dragged his hands up and down Neil’s skin to milk it all out of him.
When he tangled his fingers into Neil’s hair, Neil startled him by covering his hands with his own. That’s when he knew Neil could tell he was shaking. Andrew started to pull away because it felt like a no. A no at any moment was still a no, no matter the reason, but Neil linked fingers with him, not allowing him to disengage.
Neil started to lead them to the couch in the living room but Andrew resisted. It was too open, too exposed, too public even though they were alone. So they went to the bedroom instead.
They moved in sync somehow, no words being spoken, both of them pushing the pillows to the headboard and Neil climbing up to situate himself against them. It did something to Andrew, the way Neil didn’t request, didn’t wait for Andrew to ask, but was silently inviting. No other person he’d ever been with gave him an invitation. They demanded or begged.
He didn’t waste any time joining him, straddling Neil and pressing him hard into the pillows with his lips. He couldn’t stop moving his hands over Neil, his ribs, his neck, his hair, his arms. When he got to his hands, he moved them to the outsides of his own thighs, pressing them hard when Neil tried to take them away. He wasn’t ready for his own reaction, though, when Neil took the hint, stretching his fingers out and squeezing. A flood of heat coursed through him and he shivered.
They kissed until his lips were numb, his thighs tingling, and that’s when Neil nudged him with his nose, diving for Andrew’s neck. Usually Andrew resisted because he liked it too much, it scared him. This time, he tilted his head back, accepting the apology in the only way he could. By the time Neil circled back to his lips, he was trembling for an entirely different reason. Slowly, they wound down, kissing sporadically while resting forehead to forehead.
“Keep your phone charged,” Andrew said finally.
“I will.” Andrew heard the promise for what it was and kissed him again, not exactly thanking Neil but something similar.