Chapter Text
i sat at a bar
in a club that smelled like bodies,
scotch, and money evaporating
into the air with the top hits of the 70s.
i should've been in my element,
with a drink in hand, and men in sight,
but i’ve had a ring on my finger for ten years
and have been trapped for four times longer.
i have felt dead for ten years,
and i don’t want to make my life
feel any more like a living hell.
suddenly, you stumbled into the seat next to me,
giggly and filled with alcohol and song,
your sex drive probably higher than your high-waisted pants.
i was drawn to your eyes,
and your eyes were drawn to my pocket.
we stumbled into a stall,
your lips on my lips, then my neck,
then my hips, and lower still,
and suddenly the wedding band
that once felt like noose suffocating me
seemed to be made with thread
and i ripped it off my neck
and let everything fall away.
every day from then,
i craved your mouth
that blew on cheap cigarettes,
drank wine, and bit on your nails.
and time after time, you told me
it had been a one time thing,
that you didn’t do relationships,
that you didn’t want anything from me
besides sex and money.
but whizzer brown,
when you hold me in your arms
as we lay in your bed in your home,
light in hand, face pressed to my shoulder,
it makes me think we both want the same thing:
love.