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You never really thought much about your sarcasm or the effect it had on people. Okay scratch that, you thought about it a lot and you believed people thought you were funny. Which you were. Your jokes often set off the entire lunchroom if they were listening. Oftentimes new recruits would come to you in search of a pick me up after a mission outside the walls. Everyone loved the way you could remove tension from the room.
Levi however... he wouldn't laugh at your jokes. At all. Hange told you not to take it personally, that he just had a stick up his ass. Everyone was inclined to believe her. The man wouldn't laugh at anything. It sort of bugged you; the way he didn't show happiness or amusement in any way. So you decided to make it your personal mission to make Humanity's Strongest Soldier laugh.
It started off with small quips here and there about various things.
"Hey, Captain. This breakfast is egg-cellent. Don't you think?"
"An MP, a stationary guard, and a recruit walk into a bar. A scout laughs and walks under it."
"Do you think that if we tell the kids to protect the horses, Eren will protect Jean?"
That one got a laugh from Eren and a few others, and a huge 'fuck you' shouted from across the field from Jean.
So your jokes weren't over-the-top funny, but they were appreciated. As time went on your jokes became worse but the soldiers - mostly the cadets - loved them. Every day there’d be something you had to say about the missions, food, soldiers, or even yourself if you got really bored. Somehow Levi found himself waiting for the moment your eyes would light up as you were about to tell a joke you hoped he would laugh at. Some of them he did find funny, but he couldn’t bring himself to laugh aloud. He figured that once he did anything of the sort you would be satisfied and leave him alone to tell your jokes elsewhere. Levi enjoyed your presence, he didn’t want you to leave. So he kept the blank expression on his face and watched as you became more determined every day to make him laugh.
That was how it began for you. The occasional pass through the hallway turned into you striding by at his side to help with what you could. Of course this would be the time when you would ramble about this or that and make a joke or two, but there would still be no reaction. So you would try harder. Eventually you found yourself realizing that you liked talking to Levi, even though he would normally roll his eyes and sigh at you. It was strange, but he didn’t send you away so you assumed he didn’t mind your presence too much.
One day a scouting mission had gone terribly wrong. No one could see through the fog so Erwin ordered a retreat. The titans came out of nowhere and your squad was gone before you could react. You had taken down the two titans in a fit of rage and continued on your way back to the wall. Guilt seeped into your stomach and settled. You gripped the reins tighter and spurred your horse on faster. They were supposed to have come home. Mason's parents were waiting. The twins, Michael and Sebastian had a mother and little sister to come home to. Gracia's only brother was waiting for her letter from his position in the Garrison. And yet in the blink of an eye they were gone.
It wasn't like it was the first time it had happened. This was the Survey Corps, people died every expedition. You glared at the ground in front of you. Your heart was still hammering and pounding against your chest. They were gone now. That was that.
A week had passed since that expedition and you learned that your squad wasn't the only one attacked. Groups from both the left and right wings had been reduced in number as well. However yours was the only one that was almost wiped out. And for that entire week, you were silent.
Your silence worried Levi. The day after the expedition you had sat down with your breakfast as usual and just as you opened your mouth he sighed and waited for whatever random thought came to mind. Except you didn’t say anything. You ate in silence and then left without saying so much as a word to anyone. It was odd, but he brushed it off. Maybe you just didn’t have any jokes for breakfast.
As the week wore on, he became increasingly concerned. You’d been silent an entire damn week. Not even Hange could get a rise out of you. So he decided to take matters into his own hands.
“Oi, brat. What’s up with you?” Levi asked. The two of you were in his office, you were helping with papers. He was leaning against a closed window.
“Hmm?” you questioned. It took a moment for the question to register in your mind and you put up a smile. “I’m okay.”
It was a pathetic lie that anyone could see through.
“No. You’re not.”
Levi gave you a once over. You looked rather rugged with your unkempt hair, sightless eyes, and clothes that may or may not have been the ones from the day before. He shook his head, you were never one to look so… Hange. You looked like Hange during one of her three-day all-nighters. Minus the coffee.
“You’re right,” you agreed. “I’m not.”
“Then what’s wrong with you?” He didn’t mean to sound so uncaring, that was just how he was.
You shook your head and sighed before leaning backward and popping your back on the back of the chair. “I can’t sleep,” you announced. “I can’t sleep because I’m having nightmares about them. It doesn’t matter though. They’ll go away within another week. They did last time.”
There was no need to ask who she was talking about. Levi turned and looked out the window behind him. The sky was growing dark.
“Get over here.”
“What?”
“Just do it,” he huffed. You followed the strange command and made your way over to the window. “You see can see the wall from here, and you know what else you can see?”
You shook your head. “Houses, I suppose.”
Levi gently tilted your chin upwards so you looked at the sky. It burned red, orange, purple, and blue. A few stars were beginning to twinkle behind the pinkish clouds. You breathed in a gasp at the sight. Sure you’d seen sunsets before, but you had never stayed to watch until twilight.
“It’s beautiful,” you nodded. “But what’s this have to do with me?”
“You need to take a moment to breathe,” he said. “You need to remember that it wasn’t your fault they’re dead.”
Your gaze immediately met the ground. Two pairs of boots were visible on the pristine floor. “I know it’s not… but it still doesn’t change the fact that it hurts. I’ll move on eventually and when that happens I’ll be back to normal.” You smile up at the captain. “I promise.”
Levi nodded. “Alright.” He took a step away from you and headed toward the door. “Come on then.”
“Where?”
“We’re going to dinner. Unless of course you want to starve?”
The panicked look on your face did him in. Even when mourning you would never miss a chance for food. Levi gave a small smile and opened the door before holding it open for you. You simply stared at the man.
“First time I see you smile… and it’s not because of one of my jokes. Oh that’s just not fair,” you complained.
“I’m leaving you behind.”
“Wait for me!”
You hurried out the door and grinned up at Levi who rolled his eyes at you. Now that you’d seen him smile, there was no way you were going to let that go. Your new mission had evolved into making Levi smile whenever possible.
“The hell are you thinking?”
“My jokes are evolving, be ready to hear the worst ones ever!” you cheered.